


Lust

by yeolimerent



Series: Sinners Trilogy [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, BaekYeol - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, Drama, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Heterosexual Relationship, Humor, Lust, M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity, Romance, Seven Deadly Sins, Smut, Trauma, but it's just three lol, domestic ending, warning for some first pov chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-08-14 08:10:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 180,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20189074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolimerent/pseuds/yeolimerent
Summary: Chanyeol has the best girlfriend he could ever wish for.But maybe there's just something about her cousin as well.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first one of Sinners trilogy. This has been completed last year and posted on both my Wattpad and AFF accounts though some people are requesting for me to post it here as well. The last one of this trilogy (Pride) is currently ongoing and will be updated on this platform too.
> 
>   
** Disclaimer: ** the stories in this series are entirely different au's, please don't be confused.  
** and again, some of the chapters are in first POV (I often do that in some chapters to understand the characters better, rest assured majority of the chapters are 3rd POV.) I haven't found the time to edit the 1st POV chapters so u can retreat if it's not ur cup of tea i am SORRY :-( **
> 
> **Also, to be clear: this is shitty. This was written some time ago so sorry for the grammatical/typographical lapses because I have yet to check on them. :-) **
> 
> I warned ya [winks]

# 

From his usual cold stare, his lips slowly turns into a sick smile.

I feel the familiar chills on my nape. _Goddammit._ This is not right. Wherever you look at it, this is worse than anything I could ever imagine.

I took a step backward but he walks towards me. I start shaking my head in defiance.

"You know this isn't right, Baekhyun. Stop it." I look at him, trying so hard to look brave but ended up swallowing hard. He chuckles mockingly.

"Why?" for a moment, he faked a curious tone as if I'm asking a ridiculous question, "I see nothing wrong here, Chanyeol. Aside from you trying to hide that boner, there's nothing much wrong at the moment." he grinned while pointing down my crotch.

My jaw clenches, cold sheet of sweat starts forming on my temples.

He lets out a frustated sigh, "Come on, Chanyeol. No need to restrain yourself."

"Just get the fuck away from me!" I shouted, slightly shaking.

He laughs at me before shaking his head in disbelief.

"Because of my cousin, isn't it?" he asks, "Don't worry, she's having so much fun from where she is right now. No need to feel guilty." he said with disgust.

I stare at him because of this.

What does that mean?

Because of the sudden confusion, I wasn't able to notice that he's now in front of me. He smiles like he's so amused of my reaction. I flinch when his pretty fingers stroke my cheeks.

"Oh, you know nothing Chanyeol." he smirks as his hands travel down to my collar, making me shiver, "clueless...you're just so clueless_._"

I exhale another heavy breath, my self-control getting harder and harder to maintain.

And before I know it, my hands are acting on their own. I grab him with force and push him aggresively against the wall. His eyes shut close with the sudden jolt of pain, but he immediately recovered and even managed to grin victoriously.

I pinned him harder, _badly wanting to_ _inflict pain on him. _But everything is a blur, because instead of my fist landing on his face, I ended up crashing my lips against his.

Wrong._ So damn wrong. _Yet as soon as our lips touched, it felt like my thirst has been finally clenched. I couldn't stop. I don't know why my body seems to be wanting this to happen. And now it's futile to even try to step back.

I can feel him smiling against my lips. He grips my shirt and grinds his body against me, making me lose myself even more.

"Don't do this, B-Baekhyun..." I wanted to curse myself for stuttering when he started undressing me, because he seems to be even more satisfied seeing me this fucked up, "Shein..."

"Then _stop me." _he challenged, the side of his lips curving, "You can't, Yeol. Because you want this... just as much as I do." he whispers hoarsely against my lips, biting it right after.

"_Fuck..._" I groaned. As soon as I pull away to breathe, I start losing my strength, "_fuck you_, Baekhyun. J-Just..." I said as I surrender.

A smile of contentment situates itself on his lips. He won.

"Yes, yeol. _Please..._" he mumbles, his gaze flaming as it travel from my lips then into my eyes. Now that I'm helpless, he takes this chance to push me down the couch, "Fuck me. Like how you want it."

His slender fingers began stroking my clothed crotch, my mind completely falling into chaos. When he slid his hand in my pants, I finally gave in.

And then he whispers—

"If it still bothers you that much..." he says as he slides off from his shirt, "then don't worry, _she will never know." _he then sat on top of me.

Right then, I knew I fucked everything up. _Badly._


	2. 1-Stay In Love

  
**C**

“Get your shit together.” Jaewon said as I drank my seventh bottle.

“Seriously? Why are you so devastated about it? It's not like she'll die or something.” he adds with so much frustration, “and besides, you're not even her boyfriend you ass.” I ended up spanking his head hard so he knows he better shut up.

“You don't understand.” I sighed.

“What's not so clear about it?” he asks, “Look if you're worried about your dick, I tell you, you can fuck many other women out there.”

“I'm not like that, you dumbshit.” I had to roll my eyes while shaking my head, “You know I love her. I can't stand being away from her.” I feel like a pussy right now, but it's true.

He chuckles, “love my ass. The truth is you just can't accept the fact that you haven't banged her yet and now she's leaving.” he laughed.

“_Asshole_, shut the fuck up.” I squint my eyes and he laughs even louder. This shit is more drunk than I am, “Your mouth is so dirty it stinks, better wash it with holy water.” I hit him again before leaving.

“You'll eventually fuck other chickas out there when she's gone, dude! I'm betting on it!” he shouted and roared with laughter. I just raised a finger at him.

At least I'm still sober, I can drive. I need to go home and get some sleep and maybe catch her flight tomorrow.

_Flight_.

I lean my head on my car window. I can't even decide if I'll go to the airport and watch her leave, or just stay at home. She said it's my choice if I'll go because we're not even together.

Damn it. Why is she rubbing it on my face? And now she'll leave. I made it as clear as the sun that I'm in love with her. She told me a lot of times to wait and I did! I waited for her. And now she'll go to wherever the fuck it is and leave me hanging? She wants me to wait again?

Because _fuck _it, I will.

No matter how long it takes.

**x**

I move my gaze around the airport to spot her, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her sitting beside her luggage. She's talking to some people who are not really familiar to me. I breathed heavily while forcing myself to walk towards her.

“Shein.”

She looks up to me and her smile widens. _Damn_, how am I suppose to endure not seeing that smile for so long?

“Yeol!” she stood up and hugs me tight. I wrap my arms around her as well, seizing the moment.

“I'm glad you came. My flight will be in a few.” she looks normal, _happy _even. I don't want to ruin her mood so I try smiling back.

She turns to the people she was talking to a while ago before looking at me again.

“Ah, before I forget.” she held my arm to pull me closer, “Yeol, these are my cousins and of course Marge.” Marge smiled at me. She's her only sister.

“This is Minye, and Jinri.” she points at the two girls and they smile at me, too. “This is Jian, then that's Baekhyun.” she looks so happy while introducing them. “They are all my cousins.”

As much as I wanted to only look at her, I needed to be courteous as well. I smiled at them all, the other guy waved at me while the other one is just...plainly staring.

I turn to Shein.

“Ah, and guys this is Chanyeol.” her grip on my arm tightened, “my...bestfriend.” she smiled but I could see she's uneasy with it.

I gulped subtly. All this time, it's still the same label. There's pang in my chest but I eventually shook it off.

The others seem cool with it and they didn't even notice. But her other cousin looks at me differently, his eyebrows are slightly crossed as if he's trying to figure something out. When I stare back at him, his lips curved as if I'm a pathetic little shit.

I looked away before I could even get pissed with him. Maybe I'm just looking at it in a wrong way. He's still Shein's cousin, after all.

After a few minutes, her flight was called. She stood up and we walked with her to the gate. Although I stayed at the back, just listening to her cousin's endless reminders to her. She laughs at their jokes. I wish I could laugh like how she does. I wish I could be happy, but I can't. How can she be happy knowing that she'll leave me alone here?

When they finally bid their goodbyes, I stood there saying nothing. She noticed it and gave them a signal to leave us alone.

“Yeol, take good care of yourself okay?” she smiles genuinely at me.

I remain staring at her, memorizing her features.

“Yeol...”

“You'll leave me.” I can't help but say it.

She sighs, “haven't we talked about this already?” she holds my hand tight. “I'll be back, Yeol.”

“When?” I eagerly asked. She looks at me sadly yet she didn't say anything.

“Everything will be quick. I'll just take care of some things and I'll be back. I promise.” she reassured.

Her flight is called again and she looks at me one last time.

“I love you.” I said. She doesn't move. She just stares at me like it became harder for her now.

“I said I love you, Shein.” I repeated.

She hugs me tight, “I know Yeol. I know.”

“Don't you love me?” I asked as if this is one of the rare chances I can ask her.

She pulls away from the hug, “You know how I feel about you, Chanyeol.” she answered.

“Then why can't you just say yes? If you love me then why can't you be with me?” I held her face.

“I'll be back, Yeol.” she slowly removes my hand from her face, “I promise, I'll be back. And when I'm back, I'll give you more than what you want, Yeol. Promise.” she hugs me again as if she's saying that everything's fine.

She started pulling her luggage. I had to fight the lump forming in my throat as I stared while she's walking away.

She stopped before turning around to face me again, “Bye, Chanyeol.” she smiled and waved. I could only smile back to assure her.

_“Stay in love with me.”_ she said before she continued walking away.  
  


I waited for her plane to take off before I decided to go home. When I walked outside the parking lot, I saw some people walking towards a van.

“Oh, there's Chanyeol!” Marge smiles, “Has Shein already took off?” she asked. Her cousins looked at me too.

I nodded and smiled as an answer. They waved at me as they went inside their van.

But her weird cousin was the last one to go inside. Before going in, he stared at me and chuckled. He then closed the door.

I stared at their van until they drove away. _What the hell is his problem? _He better not get into my nerves. I don't want any conflict with Shein's relatives.

I sighed while putting my seat belt on.

_Yes, I'll stay in love with you. Until you come back, promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I've posted the first chapter and since I'm really busy atm, I think I'll have to wait for it to reach at least 25 kudos before posting 5 more (continuously). ^^
> 
> This is in first POV (I often do that in some chapters to understand the characters better, rest assured majority of the chapters are 3rd POV.)
> 
> This was written some time ago so sorry for the grammatical/typographical lapses because I have yet to check on them.


	3. 2-Stranger

**B**

"Hey, byunnieeee." she gives me a smug smile while waving her hand.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed. Seriously?

"What, Shein? What do you want?" I asked. Is she really bored there that she keeps on facetiming me like literally everyday?

"Oh wow, you're extra grumpy today my dear baby byun. Not so happy to see your favorite cous?" she teases. I could even see her bra from here.

"What the actual fuck are you wearing?" I hissed, lightly stepping onto the brake because of the stop light, "wait, are you even wearing some clothes?"

"What a sharp sight we got there!" she giggles, "nope, I'm not wearing anything. It's damn hot in here and a shirt isn't really a good idea like _ugghh_." she moaned like a slut which made me shook my head in disgust. She laughs so hard because of my reaction.

"Quit it, hoe." I hissed, "Don't fucking tell me you're messing around again." I glare at her before returning my eyes on the road. Getting into an accident and dying aren't really worth this bitch.

She sighs as she stops laughing, "I'm not." she pouts too. Oh god, she's annoying.

"Then what the hell do you want from me?! Look I have work to do okay. Quit this facetime shit, or call Jinri if you want, anyway you're both hoes." I make my way into the parking lot of the building where I work.

She chuckles, "Baekie, I just want to ask you a favor..." she eyes me like a pug.

I stop the engine to finally look at her, "how about...no?" I ask, mocking.

"Oh come on, you ass. You owe me a lot, anyway." she said.

And now she even has the guts to tell me I owe her a lot. Seriously, I'm killing this woman.

"What?" I asked, so irritated. I swear if I come running late to the office.

"Look after Yeollie for me." she says like I'm her 10-year-old bro who could buy her tampons.

"What? _Yeollie_ what? And what do you think I am, a fucking charity worker?" I snapped. I am so thankful she isn't here or I'll strangle her to death for wasting my precious time.

"Seriously, Baek! Just look after him and tell me how he's doing!"

Oh wow.

"Why me?! And who's Yeollie? Your dog? Didn't you bring your dog with you?" I said, nearly losing my patience with this favor thing she wants.

She narrows her eyes as she throws me her bitch look.

"Yeollie. As in Chanyeol. My boyfriend. The one who sent me to the airport with you. What kind of mind do you have there, stupid dimwit?"

A picture flashes into my mind, now my face relaxes as I remember.

"Oh.." I unconsciously said.

I remember that guy. The poor guy my cousin plays with. This bitch has the most brutal friendzone-ing skill I've ever seen.

He looks good, except for a fact that he's stupid enough to fall for this kind of girl. Ah. Major failure.

"Yah." she called and I went back to my senses.

"I remember him. Wait. Why do I even need to look after him? He's not your boyfriend you evil witch. You introduced him as your bestfriend..." I said not being able to hide the curiosity in my voice.

"Well, he loves me. That makes him mine. And I don't want anyone touching what's mine so you better keep an eye on him." she threatened.

"How much are you gonna pay me?" I asked with a bored look.

"C'mon Baek!"

"What?" I asked blankly. I am not doing this shit for free! I am not doing it anyway! "Why do I even have to do this? That loser is way too smitten, do you think he'll bang other pus than yours?" okay I am now late and this bitch is to blame.

"You don't understand!" she sighs with frustration, "I don't know if you guys are blind, but obviously, Chanyeol is so hot, like seriously. So other girls would want to take this chance on him, and I'm not there...and..and he might get tired of waiting..and..." she says, panic evident in her voice. I laugh hysterically.

"Baek, I'm serious." she pleaded.

"Did you see your face? Oh my God, Shein! You look like a threatened skank!" I continued laughing as she waved her middle finger at me, "look. I am not looking after your silly boytoy for you. That's not fair, I am not getting paid for this." I shake my head and give her a teasing smile.

"Is that how obsessed you are for money?!" she asks, snarling.

"Yes, hoe." I snapped, "And besides, I don't even know him, it's your obligation to look after your own man and where are you? I do hope he bangs other girls so you'll learn your lesson."

"Oh really? fuc-" I cut her off by ending the call. I am half-running to the elevator because I am now ten minutes late. Fucking Shein. Good thing I know how to get through this kind of dilemmas.

I am silently cursing my cousin under my breath while waiting for the elevator. As soon as it opens, I see the hot guy from the other department. He looks at me and flashes a grin. I raise my brows. My face relaxes as I give him a sly smile before getting into the elevator.

**x**

"Heeeeey! You done now?"Ji eun squealed excitedly while strutting towards my cubicle.

"Yep, logging out." I said as I get up from sitting for hours, "where to?" I asked since it's friday. Freaking friday. Freaking-thank-God-it's-freaking-friday.

"You decide, I just wanna get crunk." said Heechul.

"Bugsy's then? Bugsy's bugsyyyyyyy's!!" Ji eun is nowhere high right now. She's naturally like that.

"What the fuck, stop clinging on me!" I hear their endless arguments behind me, I just shake my head.

"Come on! Where are you going??" she asked in the middle of the dance floor. I could barely hear her because of the loud music.

"I'm tired! I'll take a shot first!" I said loudly. She just waved her hand and I went directly to the bar to order drinks. As soon as I got a grip of my white russian, I started drinking it. I roam my eyes around the bar. I can see Ji eun continuously dancing wildly on the dance floor while Heechul is somewhere at the corner, having heated make-outs with some random ass.

I rest my arm on the stool, someone taps me from the back and I smile as I see an old friend. The same scenario happens a few times.

I sip a new drink as my vision catches someone familiar, sitting on the other side of the bar. I narrow my eyes to focus, and he really is familiar.

I lick my lip, chuckling lightly. Hah, oh right. _Look who we have here?_

His hair is now red, unlike the last time I saw him. But his ears are quite recognizable. He's all alone, drinking.

He continuously sips his drink, which I think is an Absinthe. His arms rest together on the stool and his eyes are settled on his glass, obviously in deep thought. _Aww_, Shein, look what you've done to the poor pup?

I chuckle while shaking my head. Seriously, if he loves my cousin that much, why did he let her leave? I smirk as I remember the day at the airport. He was fighting the urge to cry, _such a puss._ I was internally laughing at him that moment, which I think he noticed and got pissed with.

And in which, _I didn't care._

I find myself watching him from my place. Then a group of people walks behind me that got my attention.

"Oi, Baek?! Sup? Who're you with??" they are from the office. They're obviously drunk, because they stink. I told them I'm with Jieun and Heechul, the hot guy from a while ago makes his way towards me.

I could smell mint and liquor as he leans closer, feeling his wet lips on my ear while he whispers nasty things.

I grin back, and he tilts his head towards the bathroom before assisting his friends outside the bistro. I just shrug my shoulders.

I went back to my drink, still grinning like an idiot. I unconsciously look at the mourning guy again just to discover he's now looking at me.

Oh, does he remember now?

My grin fades as I stare back. Still, he wouldn't look away. I wipe my lips with the back of my slender fingers before flashing him a smug smile.

He remains serious as he looks away, turning to his glass of alcohol again.

I roll my eyes before standing up to walk to the bathroom. As I walk nearer, someone pulls my arm and closes the door. I find myself being cornered on the wall, a hot breath on my neck.

"Let's get this over with.." he mutters under his breath while his hands roam everywhere they could.

I laughed softly, "without having the pleasure to know each other first?"

He slips his hand under my shirt, "I'm Jungsoo, you're Baekhyun. Now are we good?" he sounds eager and excited. Ugh, hate to break it to you though.

"Oh wow, how do you know me?" I slightly pushed him, faking my curious face as I tease.

"Everyone knows you Byun, like everyone wants a piece of you." he impatiently says right before leaning again, "Now..."

"Wow, thanks.. Since you know me, I do expect you know how I do not do things for free." I smirk as I cross my arms while looking at him.

He looks like he remembered something valuable. I help him by motioning my palm while I raise my brows. He sighs before getting his wallet from his pocket. I smile triumphantly while watching him pull out some bills.

He lends some on my palm. I then purse my lips as I start counting it in front of him. Then I look back at him.

"These are not even worth a blowjob." I said as I shrugged.

He stares at me, bewildered. "Huh? But...that's too much!" he said in disbelief.

I shrug again. _Not that much._

"Nah uh, fixed price dude." I keep my face straight but deep inside, I'm having so much fun watching him.

"But that's all I got!" he appealed. _So?_ I wanted to answer, but I just shrugged again, making him more annoyed.

"So what's it worth?" he sighed, sounding desperate.

I chuckled. I may be a hoe, but I'm not that bad. Let the pup enjoy his fee.

"Well, okay." I took a step towards him, grabbing him by the belt. His face softens, returning into its playful look.

I started unbuckling his belt, until his jeans loosened around his hip. I slip my hand inside his jeans, letting my hand and slender fingers do the magic.

_"Fuck..."_ he cussed under his breath. He buries his face on my neck, pulling me closer to him. He sucks and licks my earlobe while I play with his slit. He groans as I tightened my grip.

"Pump it." he commanded.

I smirk, "impatient?" I tease.

He holds my hand to guide it up and down his manhood, "fuck it, _Baek..._" he cussed again.

I pump his dick in a faster pace. He starts moving his hip, meeting my hand with every thrust. I hear every curse he says on my ear.

I smirk again, I felt his dick hardening against my hand and he starts tilting his head upward, eyes closed, giving me the hint to do the plan.

I stop pumping, pulling my hand out from his cock. He opens his eyes widely.

"What the fuck?" he groaned. I bit my lip.

"3 bucks more for cumming." I said and smiled. His jaw dropped.

"You can't fucking do that to me!" he shouted madly. _Oops_, I just did.

"Told you my price is fixed." I said as-a-matter-of-factly. I walk towards the sink to wash my hands, I could hear his endless cursing behind me. I laugh quietly.

I face him while I wipe my wet hands on my jeans, still keeping my face serious. He looks aggravated. His tent visible from here.

"What am I suppose to do with this?" he asked angrily, pointing to his poor thing.

I shrug, "I don't know, self-work maybe?"

He walks his way towards me, placing his hands on the sink behind. He enclosed me between his arms.

"C'mon, Baek... please? As good friends?" he pleaded sweetly. I chuckle, _oh how many times have I heard that good friend label?_

"Aww, are friends normally pumping each other's dick?" I grinned.

He gritted his teeth, his face back at it again, "c'mon Baek, just let me reach my peak! fuck it..." he aggressively grabs my waist. Okay, I know I said he was hot, but right now he looks like a desperate jerk begging for someone to give him a hand.

I pushed him away, starting to get irritated. "Then next time, _asshole_, bring extra money." I said. I walk towards the door despite him not letting me out.

I hear a loud bang on the door from the outside, like something's being thrown against it. We're both startled, making me grab this chance to unlock the door. I let out a small yelp when someone falls on my feet as I open it.

I quickly recognized his red hair, even without seeing his face yet.

Before the creep guy starts bothering me again, I took this opportunity.

"Chanyeol! Thank goodness you're here!" I called awkwardly. It's Chanyeol, right? Oh God, I hope I got his name right.

Without even having the guts to stand up, he looks at me. His eyes are almost closed, I could see his confused face when he heard me call his name.

"Who are..." I heard him mutter.

"Chanyeol, stand up! We're going home right? We're going..." I grab his arms up for him to stand up, Jungsoo is staring at us, puzzled.

"No.._Hngg_\- let me sleep...here." he groaned. Oh no, shit, is he...?

Before I could even withdraw from the scenario, some big guy popped up from the door.

"Oh, you know this guy?" he looks at us, specifically to my hand holding the tall guy's arm, "he's drunk, started yelling around, he's disturbing some guests. Better bring him home now." the bouncer said before helping me carry the guy out of the bathroom.

Oh no...no..

"No, that's not it! He's not..." I said. The bouncer looked at me, then he looked at Jungsoo, leaving me with no other choice.

I sighed, "fine, my car's outside." fuck it.

I rolled my eyes as I lean on the driver's seat. My face turned grim with the sudden turn of events. Jesus.

"Next time, don't let your friend drink that much alone." said the bouncer.

I roll my eyes again, "he's not my friend!"

The bouncer nods sarcastically, "yeah right." he said before returning inside.

I groan in frustration, glaring at the red-haired guy beside me as he enjoys his way to dreamland. Just don't even try to drool in my car or I'll strangle you.

Great, now I have no choice but to take him to my place. I have no idea where he lives, he doesn't even have anything with him.

_This is all you fault, Shein._ I thought. That witch ruins my life in every way she could. Just look at this.

I couldn't remember signing up for this! I imagine Shein enjoying herself out there without any idea that I'm babysitting his boytoy.

She should pay me for this.

"Oh gosh, you're heavy as fuck!" I said, feeling his weight on my shoulders. _Urgh._

"'S hot..." he whispered.

"Well, yeah, you swam in a pool of liquor that's why." I said sarcastically.

"'s hot'n here..." he said again. I just rolled my eyes for the nth time.

"You sleep on the sofa, you lil shit." as soon as we got there, I threw all his weight down the sofa.

"Jesus!" I feel my muscle aching as soon as I let go of him. He weighs like a pig!

I'm thinking about sending my evil of a cousin a snap of him sleeping deeply, I'll say I found his dead body at the dumpsite with a sign saying 'i'm tired of waiting'. Let's see if she won't get her ass straight in here.

I laughed humorously at the thought, but stopped as he suddenly got up from sleeping, making me jump in surprise. His eyes are still closed. I watch him, waiting for what he's gonna do.

"Fuck..why'm sweating like hell..." he mumbled before quickly taking off his shirt, then his pants. I stared at him, eyes opened in shock.

He reaches for the garter of his boxers as he pulls it down, too. My eyes remain the same, even after he fell into a deep slumber again, without having any idea what he just did.

Did a random guy just strip naked in front of me?

Holy shit, dude.


	4. 3-As in Never?

  
**C**

"Holy..." I cussed under my breath. My head hurts like hell!

I immediately thought about my pain killers and stood up just to go and get some.

But...

_Wait..._

I opened my eyes wider to look around the place. This isn't even near to familiarity. Did I just ended up too drunk and had a one-night stand? Because that's the only explanation for my pounding head and fully naked body.

I remained sitting for a few more minutes before hearing a splash of water coming from a room behind me which I think is the bathroom. I also hear a voice humming some song.

Oh God, oh God... I'm doomed.

I run as silent as I can while picking up my clothes. Shit, I should be out of here before that girl gets out of the bathroom. I hate explanations. I hope that if we had sex, then that's it. If we really did...

Let's hope not.

"You idiot." I muttered, referring to myself. Fuck, I feel like a bad person. I just cheated, right? I know she isn't my girlfriend, but technically I cheated on Shein, right? Dammit.

As if she was my conscience, I stopped when I saw Shein's smiling face on one of the pictures over the wooden table. God, she's perfect. But...

But wait... _how did it..?_

Just as I was about to pick up the frame, I hear a clicking sound from the door. I almost jump in surprise as I look behind.

Coming out from the bathroom, is a familiar guy wearing..._well,_ wearing nothing except for that towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is dripping wet and his fair skin is flawlessly shown. Just...

He stopped to look at me yet his hand stays on his hair. He doesn't even look surprised, well quite the opposite as my reaction because...

"What the fuck?" I cussed as I stare at him and realize a lot of things I couldn't accept.

He raises both his eyebrows, looking rather amused by my reaction.

"Wow, good morning too." he grins sarcastically. I suddenly feel the urge to run quickly, and that's what I did. Thankfully, his door isn't locked and I was able to get out immediately.

I quickly grabbed a taxi to go back to the bar where I stupidly left my car. I was looking into space the whole ride. My mind still couldn't process what just happened.

I woke up inside a place where Shein's cousin is living. That's why he's familiar. And what I couldn't process in my head are the facts that I was naked, I was drunk last night (doomed because I couldn't remember anything damn it), and... he's a dude.

A _dude_, dude.

For fuck's sake, I'm not gay!

I comb my hair with my hands because of too much frustration,my eyes tightly closed. This is madness.

I open my eyes to calm myself down just to see the taxi driver staring weirdly at me.

"What?!" I snarled.  
  
  
  


As soon as I got home, I saw Jaewon the dipshit sitting like a king on my couch.

"You ass!" he greets with a light punch, "Where were you?! I was worried sick dude, the service lady called saying you didn't come home. I thought you were salvaged or something. I told you that wasn't a cool way to die." he rolled his eyes as I sit on the sofa, still frustrated.

"Why are you worried about me?" I ask suspiciously, "Don't do that bro, I'm not gay. Stop this gayshit." I said, starting to get paranoid.

He almost choked with his beer.

"What?!" he asked while coughing. I didn't answer. He started laughing so hard, "fuck you! Why are you like that?!"

I just sighed.

"You look so guilty." he said while catching his breath after laughing, "Tell me what have you been up to. Did you watch gay porno?" he teased.

I kicked his legs that didn't even stop him from laughing his ass out.

My phone rang a familiar song that made my heart jumped. I looked at the caller ID even though I already know who it is. My heart pounded in nervousness. Should I answer?

"Sugar papi?" Jaewon grinned.

"Shut up." I snapped as I pick up my phone and stood up to go to my room.

"Make it quick, baby boy!" he shouted from the living room followed by a roaring laughter.

"Go to hell!" I shout back.

I locked the door then pace back and forth in my room, watching the caller ID. The ringing stops as I stare at it. But it rings again after a few seconds.

I swallowed hard before answering.

"Shein." I greeted, trying to sound cheerful.

"Why aren't you answering?" she asked, sounding stern.

"Uh..sorry, I overslept." I said, wincing at my stupid excuse.

"Oh really?" she asks sarcastically, "Was it a good sleep, you weren't able to know I rang you 18 times last night?" she sounds really mad.

I gulped, oh _shit_, "I'm so sorry...Shein. I was drained with yesterday's practice and I...wasn't able to take my phone to bed last night. I'm sorry." I said, massaging my temples. God, I hope she buys my excuse.

She stays silent from the other line.

"I'm sorry, Sheiny. I'll make it up to you." I said to cheer her up.

I heard her sigh. I lay down my bed while staring at the ceiling.

"I thought..." she mutters, "you were with someone else that you forgot about me." her voice breaks. I gulped again.

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"I just hope you'll wait for me, Yeol. I know it's hard, but please don't look at someone else." she pleaded. My heart sank.

I wasn't able to answer immediately.

I bit my lip, "You know there's no one else, because I love you."  
  
  
  


"Holy _shit_, no..." I cussed while still trying to figure out where I left my guitar pick. Shoot, let's hope it's not where I think it is. All I know is it was with me yesterday. In my pocket. And there's no reason for it to go missing, except...

If it fell from my pants' pocket.

"Ugghh fuuuuck!" I frowned harder. If it's really in that guy's house then I have no plans getting it back. Shit, that was my favorite pick.

Wow, what a good day it is!

I took a quick shower and get dressed as formal as it is required. I tried forgetting everything that happened recently because I want to be happy on my first day in an a actual office work but to no avail, I can't. The fact that I got accepted in a good company doesn't even make up for it.

"Hey hey hey!" Jaewon blocks me from going outside the door, "Where the hell are you going again? Seriously, Yeol. What are you up to?" he asked, trying to sound concerned.

I glared at him, "It's my first day in my new job, you idiot. Now let me leave and try not to burn the house." I said, pushing him away.

"Wh- wait what?!" he yells, "work? job? as in job? not blowjob or hand--" I pushed his face with my hands to stop him from saying gross things.

"Why do you need job?!" he continues to yell as I open the door, "Aren't you rich?! Do you even know how to work?" he scoffed, still can't believe what he heard.

"You need to work in order to stay rich, ya heard me? Dipshit." I said before leaving him in awe.

I pulled my hoodie over my head before going out. I just hope this job is not as bad as I thought.  
  
  
  
  
"You really have nothing to worry about here, I mean... the office is great, people are friendly.." she said while smiling at me, I maintain a professional response. I hope she could see that I really don't care about that. As long as I get paid, I'm cool.

I notice some heads turning to my way as we walk. The other workers started whispering and giggling from the distance, though I didn't bother looking at them.

"So yeah, here's your cubicle. Then there's the photocopy machine, although sometimes it runs out of paper, if that happens, you can just go to my office so I could lend you some..." she smiles weirdly again, making it so obvious that she's hitting on me. Seriously, she's like, maybe five years older than me and she's the manager. She honestly needs to calm her tits and act professional.

"Thanks." I smiled at her but deep inside I really want to get rid of her to start working.

"Oh! Before I forget, you should know them. It's easier to work if you guys get along with each other, right?" she laughed enthusiastically.

Surprisingly, the other employees are now facing me, probably waiting for me to be introduced. A bunch of girls in front of me smiled sweetly. And now I am forced to smile at each one of them.

"This is Park Chanyeol, be sure to be nice to him."

"Hi Chanyeol!"

"I'm just at the cubicle next to you!"

"Ask me asap if you need help!"

I couldn't do anything but smile and bow at them even though deep inside, I am well-aware that they just wanna have sex with me.

What? _It's true._

Too bad, no one's worth fucking here. Not in my standard at least.

"Thank you... I hope to get along with you." I bowed.

"Wait, is there a party here? Hi! What's happenin!" cooed a familiar voice from behind.

"Well, you're late again, Baek." the manager said.

"Better late than ugly, my friend." the high-pitched voice seems to get closer to me.

"Dumbass," she cussed, "Anyways, Chanyeol..." she faces me, her face shifting from a frown to her sweet fake smile. I turn to face another employee she'll introduce, still wearing my fake yet convincing smile.

"This is Baekhyun, he's a marketing assistant too. He's the one next to your cube by the way." the smile on my face faded as I feel the blood run out of my face.

His natural smug smile slowly fades too as he looks at me.

Holy fuck. Just no.

I gulped when I saw his smile turned to be more wicked.

"Chanyeol!" he claps his hands, "what a nice surprise!" he exclaims.

Oh shit, damn this _fucking _shit.

"Wait, you guys know each other?" she asked, surprised.

I couldn't answer. I remain speechless, silently thinking about how fucked my life is to be coincidentally working with the last person I wanna see.

"Oh," he chuckles, "don't even mention it." he laughs and even waves his hand.

I secretly glare at him. Don't he even try saying anything or I'll beat him to death.

He stares back at me, like he understood what I was thinking about. He smirks bigger.

"It's a good thing you decided to work here, bec- _oh _wait," he picks something from his pocket as they continue watching him, "before I forget, you left this..." he shows me my guitar pick that I almost went crazy finding all night, "on my couch, the other night." he said it casually yet I can sense that he wants to laugh so hard because of amusement.

I heard some gasps from behind and murmurs I wouldn't want to hear. Damn this guy. I'm going to cut his neck if I get the chance.

"Baekhyun!!" I heard a girl's groan from behind.

"What?" he looks at her and his brows slightly crease, "What? We're friends!" he added, intentionally making it sound defensive.

"All of your guy friends are..." someone comments, "this hot. Like how.." I heard a few whistles from the corner and I realize what he's trying to make them think.

His brows are both raised and I could see that he's clearly enjoying the intrigue he's causing between us.

I cleared my throat before he could even answer, "That's right, we're friends." I casually said and slightly smiled again.

Now that I noticed, everyone is looking at us like we're on some kind of a reality show shit and I'm getting worried about the loads of work they're ignoring for this.

I saw them slowly nod, yet I'm not so sure if they're convinced. Baekhyun, however, continues to watch what I'm about to say next.

"That's nice. You guys are schoolmates?" someone asked which I internally cussed at because I don't want to prolong this fucking drama.

"Of course not." I answer curtly. I clear my throat, "I mean..no. Uh, he's my girlfriend's cousin, that's why." I answered, silently praying they'll let it go.

I then heard '_ooh's_ from them, some even frowned and got back to work when they heard the word girlfriend. Meanwhile, the bastard in front of me mockingly cringed at the word. I felt every bit of irritation because of that.

"Girlfriend, then." he whispered, just enough for me to hear. Then he shrugged his shoulders before hiding a laugh in his cubicle.

Great, now I wanna fucking resign.

"Hi! Where are you going?" the girl, who I don't really know, asked.

"Uh, just going to grab myself some late lunch. I'm heading to the pantry." I answered civilly.

"Woah, it's late! You're working too much!" she laughs, "Anyways, the pantry doesn't have any rice meals. Just some plain sandwiches. I suggest you just go to the cafeteria on the first floor. That's where we eat." she said.

Ugh, "Oh, I see. But it's fine. I'm not really that hungry, maybe sandwich is enough." I smiled.

"Okay, if you say so. Pantry's over there. It's not locked, I suppose. Be careful, I heard they hear some ghost there." she joked, trying to make me scared. I just laughed.

I quickly walked to the pantry. Damn it, I'm hungry. Well, not that hungry to go too far just to eat, but I'm still hungry.

Maybe today's events made me lose a lot of appetite.

Shit, maybe I need to grab at least five sandwiches.

"Fuck, just do it fast, okay?!" I heard some whisper from the inside, the lights are dimmed but I'm pretty sure I heard it there.

"Ugh...just shit. Just fuck me faster!" I heard again. I lean on the glass door and hear some quick breathing and cursing.

And I'm sure it's not the ghost she was talking about. Ghosts aren't usually this horny, I believe.

"Just suck me off, Baek!" I heard a deep voice.

"Jesus--will you fuck off?" he answered.

I slowly opened the door just to see Baekhyun being fucked against the pantry table with a guy who's not really familiar, but I think he works here too.

"Ugh, shit. You're so tight.." the guy moaned while his eyes are tightly closed.

The door is slightly creaked and I can see Baekhyun's head turning to my side so I immediately closed the door. I stood behind the wall while silently processing what the fuck I just saw.

So he's really what I expected him to be. Did we do that last night? Just the thought makes me want to puke.

The lights were turned on after a minute but I remained standing there, waiting for them to go outside. Now, I'm having thoughts about having lunch at the cafeteria instead. I don't wanna eat inside a room with a smell of cum. No, thank you.

But I almost jumped as the door suddenly opens. The guy goes out, his eyes widening as he sees me but maybe thought that I just arrived so he continued leaving.

I waited for a few seconds to let that Baekhyun guy go out, but he didn't. What the fuck, I'm hungry!

"Aish!" I groaned when I couldn't take my hunger any longer. I stood up straight before opening the door.

There I saw him, sitting on one of the chair while casually eating a sandwich. He looked at me so I just rolled my eyes.

I heard him chuckle. How could he sit so normal like he wasn't fucked like it was the end of the world?

He continued to stare at me while I prepare my food. Fuck that butter knife, where are you so I could leave this place and eat happily.

"Here's the knife." he said while lending it to me. I remain looking at it. With his hands? No, thank you.

"No, thanks." I curtly said that made him laugh.

"I used this for the chicken spread too, don't tell me you'll use other spreader?" he asked humorously.

I smiled sarcastically, "I suddenly want tuna, that's why." I said while getting a new spreader.

He narrowed his eyes on me, "I didn't know you're actually a peeper." he said, annoyed.

"What?" I asked back.

"Peeper Chanyeol." he says, "trying to act cool when I could tell you were enjoying the show a while ago." he said and took a bite.

I face him, "Well I'm sorry, if you happen to be having sex inside an office pantry. Next time, put a paper on the door saying "no peeping, we're having sex, dipshits!"" I said and grimaced.

His lips were pursed as he glared at me.

"Peeper." he said.

"Horny." I called back.

He grins, "don't act as if you didn't get a boner from what you saw." he teased.

"Sorry, try again." I said.

"Oh, yeah I will." he retaliated.

I look at him directly, "Not gonna dream of having sex with you so no, thanks." I said and turned my back on him.

"Really?" he asked.

I face him again, his slender fingers are now on his lips.

"As in never?" he raised his brows.

I squinted my eyes at him.

"Not in a thousand years." I shook my head slowly.

"Okay then." he slowly nods while staring at me, making this unconvinced expression.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was years ago so the first (5) chapters are in 1st person pov i know i apologized for that a couple of times now but i'm an annoying human so sorry again huh u i promise it'll be over soon


	5. 4-Not Like Her

**B**

_ "Meomchul su eomneun i tteollimeun, on and on and on!"_

I swayed my arms like how those girls did it as I continue singing louder. Not too loud to the point that I'm shouting, of course.

Well... just enough for my cubicle neighbor to hear.

I could hear the loud smashing of the keyboard from the spot next to mine. I grinned, raising the volume of my voice a little bit more.

"Look at me look at me now! Ireoke neon nal aetaeugo itjana--"

"Can't you _fucking_ keep that dirty mouth of yours shut?" I hear him whisper in complain, "Seriously, there's still some workers left and all you do is bother us with your girl group marathon _bullcrap_. Shut up, please. _Shut up._" without even seeing him talk, I could imagine how his teeth is gritted with annoyance.

I can't keep my smug smile from getting big. Someone is triggered.

"I'm so sorry, Chanyeol-oppa." I say, mocking a girly tone. "Did your little Sheiny leave you all dry and grumpy again, hmm? that's too bad..." I mocked, my voice getting tinier.

My smile slightly faded when I saw his tall figure, now glaring in front of me. I could see him preventing himself from cursing me because we're in the office. I stared back, feeling a lot satisfied with him getting all pissed.

_"F- off." _I heard him cuss before storming out and walking out somewhere.

I leaned my head back on my left hand as I watched his back walking away. I feel like my job is a lot more exciting now. For the past few days that he's here, I just found myself stopping from trying to do anything spontaneous because pissing him off is now my great hobby to survive boredom;

_"Really? You pioneered that? I heard that charity event! It helped a lot of kids from the province." the girls stared at him, faces mix with shock and awe._

_He chuckled shyly, "We're actually a team who pioneered that. So it's not just me." he said, trying to sound humble. I rolled my eyes._

_"But still!" they shrieked, I could see their pupils transforming into heart shapes like that stupid emoji, "We knew you have a big heart right there!" they giggled._

_He smiled coolly. Ugh, I hate how he does it like some kind of a toothpaste model._

_His eyes roamed around and it found me. His smile faded and he stared at me piercingly. Now it's my turn to grin._

_"Charitable Chanyeol-oppa with a big heart," I imitated the giggling girls beside me, "too bad that's the only part of him that's big." I heard some chuckling around me._

_I started laughing while walking away cause I swear, I saw his nose smoking in rage._

That was just even mild! I have done a lot of worse things ever since he got here. I'm even surprised he still got the nerve not to resign.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. I'm not the worst person that does that so that he'll lose this job. I don't even know why, I just love provoking him. The first time I saw him at the airport with Shein, I thought he's some kind of a lousy guy who perfects Calculus class and shit like that. But now, he's getting a bit more interesting to me. Oh fuck, what am I even blabbering about.

Well, he's just hot when he's mad. You know that?

**x**

"It's friday!!!" I heard a scream on my right ear.

"Shit, Ji eun. You're breaking my eardrums you little cunt!" I glared at her. She continued picking things from my cubicle like she didn't hear me.

"Heechul is now abandoning us. It's like he found new friends and forgot about us, Baekkie. It's just you and me now. You won't leave me right?" she said, getting all teary.

Oh gosh not again.

"Jesus! Stop crying! He's just having some time with them. You know he's the Mr Congeniality here. He hangs out with everyone, he flirts with everyone, he sucks everyone. That's just him, but he's still our friend." she wipes her eyes and is still tearing up, "Stop being such a whiny bitch, Ji eun!"

She takes in a big dramatic breath before rolling her eyes.

"I know that." she sighs and fans her eyes with her hands, "Just trying this new Mac mascara I bought if it messes up when you cry. Wow!" she wipes her eyes like testing it, "this is...real..good shit."

I continued glaring at her. This woman, really.

"Mahoney's Baek cos it's friday yeehaaaaw!!!"

"You should stop bothering him that much. It makes it look like you're desperately hitting on him." Ji eun said.

We got out of the elevator and head on our way out of the building. It's quarter to 9 and I just finished my eye makeup for tonight's night-out. Ji eun's been blabbering a lot of nonsense stuff ever since.

"I'm being my usual annoying self, and no, I'm not hitting on him, thank you." I rolled my eyes.

"But it's all over the office! Everyone thinks that you guys are extra close. And now that you're telling me that you're both pissed with each other makes me think that way... come on, Baek. Not your cousin's hottie. You can do so much better than that!" she scolded.

Oh my God. Am I really hearing it right?

"What the heck, Ji Eun?" And I actually stopped walking, "Fact check: I hate him. He's lousy as fuck. And I would 't even go near my cousins' boytoys. Much more to Shein's?" I started spotting my car and might as well get rid of this ridiculous topic we're having.

"Yea, sure!" she rolled her eyes too, "I mean, you can have anyone you like, Baek. You get every guy on your palm, even those straight guys! You have so many options, like way hotter guys!"

I shrugged in agreement.

"Well...not like Chanyeol isn't hot though.." she mumbles, "I mean, yes, he's undeniably hot. No, scratch that- sizzling hot. With that voice and gaze, oh fuck, thank goodness he's straight." she said, starting to bang the guy in her head.

"Shut up!" I said, now pissed, "Are you lusting over him?! You better stop it now, cause you'll just disappoint yourself." I chuckled.

She becomes more attentive, walking quickly to reach my pace, "Why???" her small eyes start to widen. "Oh my gosh, does he have a tiny cum gun?!" she shrieked, totally not caring about the other guys in the parking lot.

I shrugged, smiling teasingly. "Well... we're not so sure if he's straight too so..." I grinned. 

Ji eun's expression worsen, her mouth is now wide in shock. "Just...how d-yo--"

Thank God she's not yet reacting or worse, even saying a name, cause the devil is beside us. Well, basically, his Mercedes-Benz is parked beside my car.

But that's not what I noticed. His usually cheerful face is now all grim. His hair is disheveled like he displaced all his frustration on it. As soon as looked at me, his expression became harder.

Well, it seems like my IQ is suddenly outta sight cause my mouth automatically became its usual Chanyeol-pisser self despite of me being intimidated by now.

"Ooh, look what we have here..." I smirked, "that famous martyr guy from class!" I teased.

His jaw clenched as he looked away. I slightly jumped when he slammed the car door like he doesn't care if it breaks. I could feel Ji eun repeatedly poking me in fear to stop talking.

Okay, Baekhyun. You need to stop.

"Sup? Yeol?" I bravely greeted with mockery.

Or not.

He ignored me and started walking away. Ji eun immediately gets out of his way and hides behind me.

"Woah, wait there!" I called even if Ji eun is now shaking my arm to stop, it seems like I couldn't get the control of myself too as I face him, "Why do you look so bummed, Chanyeol? Did you get dumped?" I asked as if I'm concerned but obviously faking it, "Wait, no way! Why would you even get dumped as a bestfriend?" I laughed, I heard Ji eun whispering _'stop it!'_

I stopped as soon as he turned back to me, eyes raging as if he's ready to kill me. He took big steps toward us and I automatically stepped back.

"Stop meddling with my fucking life, you asshole!" he cusses angrily, "you've been pissing me off too much lately, Byun Baekhyun and I swear to God if you don't stop, I'll fucking punch you in the face!" I close my eyes as he leans with his fist clutched, Ji eun shrieks, "I swear!" he roars and storms away.

A ghost of mocking smile is still written on my face yet I could feel my feet froze in shock. What the fuck is his problem? I know it's a bad joke but I always say that! That ass has the guts to even threaten me. Don't tell me that after countless of times I've said that, he just got pissed right now?

Unless it's true?

"Oh my God Baek! Don't even do that again!" Ji eun started screaming inside my car. I pulled myself together to get over it. I wasn't even scared okay, I was just intimidated and shocked of it. Imagine him trying to punch me, it's quite a thrill.

"He's so scary! He looks extra hot when he's mad though, but he looks so ready to kill!" she exclaimed.

"Told'ya he's weird." I answered.

"Wait? Are you okay?! Were you scared?" she asked, "I felt you became tensed, it's fine he's not going to hurt you in a public place like that." she comforted.

I chuckled with disbelief, "Me? Scared? Hah, never. Not the type to shake in fear for someone's tantrums." I said.

She shrugged and I continued to drive.

No one's capable of taming me. Not even a loser like him, geez.

I slowed down the pace of my car as I scanned every block to find a parking space. Ji eun's pretty occupied with excitement right now that she forgot about what happened and even how to wait.

"Have you found one? Can you make it quick, Baek? I am dying to party now." she said impatiently.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, little hoe. But the parking lot is pretty full tonight, seems like there's a lot of impatient party-craving hoes like you." I snapped.

She lets out a girly groan, "But I badly wanna go insiiiide!" I roll my eyes, "Drop me off here, I'll just text you where our table is, pleaaaase?" I sighed and agreed because I don't really need a nagger to distract me right now.

I waited for another five minutes to get a parking space. As soon as I turned off the engine, my phone rang and I saw a familiar name.

"What?" I snapped, "As you can see Shein, I'm a bit busy right now so if you'll--"

"Baek." she called seriously, "Where's Chanyeol?" she then asked.

I groan in disbelief.

"My God, Shein!"

"I'm serious, Baek!" her voice broke.

"I'm dead serious as well!" I raised my voice, "Why do I have to look after your stupid boyfriend all the time?! I have my own life, in case you don't--"

"Please! I need to talk to him!" I suddenly stopped when she bursts into tears, "You're workmates, right? You can have all the ways to get him to talk to me, now. Please, Baek...it's urgent." she said, barely audible because of too much crying.

"What?" I asked, "Wait, what happened? Why are you crying?" what the hell is happening to them? I may be a bad person but seeing my cousin crying this hard makes me forget the usual devil I am.

"He knew..." she mumbled, trying to catch her breath.

"What?" I said, still in the dark of what's happening, "knew what?"

"He knew that Joo hyuk's here as well, Baek. What should I do? He's mad. He didn't let me explain!" she cried.

"Wait..." I said, slowly understanding, "How would he know? And you went there to finish things with Joo hyuk right? Why would he get mad for that?" I asked, in awe.

"I know...I did, Baek..." she breathed heavily, "trust me... I really did. But last night, it was just..." she trailed off.

"What?" I cut her off, "Oh God..." I gasped, "Oh God, you didn't..."

"I didn't know!" she defended, "Okay, maybe I did. But I was too drunk to realize! It just happened. And then he told me he doesn't want this over. It's all wrong, Baek! I love Chanyeol..." she exclaimed.

"You're a bitch!" I can't help saying, "Seriously, you are fucked up, Shein! Did you realize how stupid your actions are?!"

"I didn't know! Okay? I just found Joo hyuk talking to him over my phone and when I tried to talk to him, he's fuming mad. I didn't know what Joo hyuk said... Please, Baek..." she sounds so hopeless. Well, she is.

"YOU HURT HIM SO BAD, DO YOU KNOW THAT?" I shouted out of the blue, making her dumbfounded. I felt my breath getting heavier. I suddenly remember his angry and betrayed face.

So that's why he looked so messed up a while ago. My stupid cousin of mine is to be blamed again.

"That's why i'm asking for your help!"

I laughed sarcastically.

"Fucking another guy and now you're asking me to help you?" I snapped, "Act upon your foolishness, Shein." I said with finality.

She didn't speak but I could hear her harder sobs.

"That idiot obviously loves you so much and..." I didn't notice the slight lump forming in my throat, "you do this?" I asked, with a hint of disbelief. For myself too, probably. For feeling this way.

"Please..." I could hardly recognize her voice, "I...I'll talk to him. I'll d-do that. I just don't know how..." she mumbled.

I chuckled.

"Why don't you go home this instant, then?" I said before ending the call.

I leaned my head back while breathing heavily. It annoys me how my time is wasted like this. I shouldn't get bothered, you know... by my stupid cousin, by her love life. I shouldn't be bothered with the things I said.

I shouldn't be bothered by him.

"Where have you been?!" Ji eun shouted on my ear cause we barely hear each other. The loud beat of music is thumping on the ground. "I was calling you, your line is busy!"

"My cousin called." I answered, still trying to find my mood.

"Who? Shein?" she asked casually, "why? what did she say?" she added. I just shrugged. You wouldn't want to know.

"These are Jean and Lian, I've been talking about! We met a few moments ago." she introduced me to a guy and a girl, I just smiled at them halfheartedly, "Let's dance, Baek!"

I motioned my palm, "Later." I said. I remained sitting, watching Ji eun dance with random people. As much as I want to concentrate and enjoy the night, my thoughts are flying somewhere.

Wow, thank you very much for ruining my night. 

The loud music seems to slowly drown in silence as my thoughts went deeper. I looked at the almost-empty glass of alcohol on my hand.

Shein has always been my least favorite cousin. I don't know. It has always been an obvious fact to me but now that I think of it, I never even had a concrete reason why.

To me, she just seems so deceiving. Everybody likes her ever since, except me. And yet I think it's the other way around for her, she seems to find her comfort in me. I hate to think that maybe she thinks were similar because I can never accept that. I always push her away but she doesn't get the memo. She wants everything under her control, she wants everything to be on her way and when it doesn't, she seeks for my help. And when I come to think of it, I always end up helping her. Am I like her?

And now, I realize, I tolerate her. I tolerate my wicked cousin. Maybe because she's right. That we're the same.

I gulped at the thought I'm currently having.

Try to think of it, Baek. You're both the most well-known. Both having that so many friends and admirers, both like trouble and adventure. You're both good at everything. You both get what you want. Try to think of it. _You hate her but you're just the same._

The music seems to go back together with my senses. I blinked a few times before drinking the last drop of tequila.

I chuckled sarcastically before roaming my gaze everywhere.

Fuck it. Just fuck it. No, _we're way different. I'll prove that. I'll prove that I'm so much better than you are, Shein. At least I know my limitations in things. I can never hurt anyone like how you do, not even an innocent guy. You're way below me. Because I'm better, as always. And don't you dare ask for my help anymore because I won't waste my time anymore. I won't tolerate you because I'm nothing like you._

I restored my wicked and biggest smile before walking towards the dance floor to join Ji eun. I indulged myself in booze and wild dancing with people I barely know. I try to grab and get a hold of my life again, like how it usually has to be.

"Ugghhh! This is such a blast! I can imagine my migraine tomorrow but damn it, th'night is lit!" Ji eun is now sweating when we get back to the table. I can see that she's drunk now. Her drink number is fewer than mine. And now that she's reached it, the girl is drunk.

"Ji eun, you need to get a cab now. I also can't drive." I said tipsily.

She just groaned as an answer.

"Wait there and I'll grab a cab." I said before standing up and heading to the exit.

A loud banging sound was heard at the main entrance of the bar. I could see some people gathering around the commotion. I heard a girl screaming in fear.

I went nearer to see what's happening, my eyes widened when I saw Chanyeol punching a guy mercilessly on the floor.

"STOP!" I shouted and glared around the people who just watch the scene.

I tried to stop him but I was pushed back because of the strength and tension from him. The guy is now bleeding on the floor. I still tried stopping him until we heard a whistle from the bouncers who pulled Chanyeol away from the poor guy.

"LET ME GO! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" he roared and I can barely recognize him. He looks so fired up in anger.

"Sir, please stop or we'll call the police!" the bouncer warned.

"CALL THEM! CALL THEM AND I'LL KILL THEM TOO FUCK--"

"Sir, you are assaulting someone--"

"No! No... it's not his fault.." I looked at the girl who went near the bouncers, "h-he's my husband..." she pointed at the bruised guy on the floor, "I found out he's cheating." she started tearing up.

"What's your relationship to this man, then, Ma'am?" they asked.

"Nothing... he just saw me almost getting hit by my husband that's why he saved me. I-I don't know...he's drunk...and..." she sobs and sympathetically looks at Chanyeol.

"Who are you with, Sir?" they asked Chanyeol, who's now staring at the floor, "Sir. Who a--"

"He's with me." I said. They all looked at me except Chanyeol. Looking at him, it seems like he's almost passing out because of too much alcohol in his system.

Shit, this looks like a freaking deja vu.

I walked towards them and wrapped my arm around his torso to pull him away from the bouncers.

"He's my friend. I'm so sorry for all of this, he's just drunk and--" I tried to explain.

"Stop." I heard him whisper in a low voice, "goddammit, stop it." he said.

"We're not the one to decide, Sir. If the victim wants to complain--" he stopped midway when they noticed that the guy is gone. He ran away.

"Here. Here's my contact info." I handed them my calling card while struggling to keep Chanyeol from falling, "If he wants to file a case then just call me, I'll drive him home now, he's not feeling well. I'm really sorry." I didn't wait for their response and immediately headed towards the exit.

"Damn it, you're so heavy..." I mumbled, trying my best for the both of us not to fall.

"Car..." he groaned, "my car..." he said, not opening his eyes.

"You're not driving, your majesty. I hope you don't want to kill yourself that soon." I remarked sarcastically.

He sighed, "I want."

I stared at him. He leaned hopelessly on my car. Just...why do we have to cross paths in times like this?!

"Lian...hey, I'm just wondering if you could grab Ji eun a cab right now? Yeah, something came up and...yeah I'll just send you her place." I said through the phone, "Thank you so much!" now I'm feeling apologetic for leaving my drunk friend for another drunk person.

I grabbed Chanyeol's arm to guide him inside the shotgun seat. He shook my hand off his arm, "can do it." he snapped and glared at me. I didn't answer and just stared back at him, trying my best not to talk to him anymore.

I walked the other way and went inside the driver's seat. As soon as I sat down, his head is tilted towards my direction, looking straight at me with cold and sleepy eyes.

"Why aren't you talking?" he asked, trying to sound clear, "Why aren't you insulting me with your famous bullshit lines?"

I just stared, unable to find my brave and reckless self at the moment.

He chuckled lazily and slowly closed his eyes again.

I don't know what to say or do now. My mind says I should grab my keys and start driving but I wouldn't even move an inch.

"I hate her..." I heard him whisper just when I thought he's asleep. "Your cousin... I hate her so much." I could hear his heavy breathing but I couldn't see his face. "Tell her I hate her with my whole fucking heart." he hissed.

"She knows it." I said shortly, trying to avoid myself to be so affected by this. I shouldn't be affected by this.

"I just wanna scream at her..." I saw his adam's apple bobbing as he tried hard to talk, "how could she do this?" he faced forward and now I can see him biting his lip.

"All I did was to love her, you know that."

I gulped when I couldn't stop staring at his state right now. My eyes moved downward.

"Y-you're..." I cleared my throat when i stuttered, "Why are you hard right now?" I stared at his pants.

His heavy-lidded eyes managed to look at it casually, "it's normal when I'm drunk.." he said and tilted his head above while closing his eyes.

I stared at the silhouette of his face when I suddenly couldn't feel my senses with me again. I leaned forward, and grab his belt with my hands.

"What are you doing?" he tiredly asked but I could still see his surprise. _Yeah, what am I doing?_

"Trying to comfort you?" I said without looking at him.

"Stop..." he said and held my hand to stop me but I wouldn't budge. "Baek..."

"Just think of this as a help..." I unbuckled his belt, "from...your girlfriend's cousin?"

"What're you gonna do?" he protests but is too tired to try.

"Help you get rid of this." my palm touched his tent and I felt him gasped.

"Stop!" he exclaimed, "No please, it's wrong..." he pleaded but I could see him tensed with my touch.

Oh boy, you like this.

"We're all wrong at times, Yeol." I grinned, "Come on, Shein can't even do this for you."

My hand found its way inside his boxers. I grasped his hard shaft and his jaw clenched. My hand held it firmly before starting to move it in up and down motion. His mouth fell open when I took out his dick from his Calvin Klein jeans. I pumped it in faster pace but makes sure to put a little tease.

"Jesus, Baek..." he tries to suppress his moan and continues shaking his head like his conscience can do something about his very hard cock right now. "N-no...I'm--I love her. You c-can't..."

"Hmm?" I grinned, "what is it? Thought you said you hate her?" I asked, faking a question.

"Just..." he couldn't find the words to say as I look straight into his equally lustful eyes.

"Fine." I straightened up and my hands moved to his exposed thigh as I leaned to whisper on his ear, "Imagine me as her then." I whispered while taking my other hand to his eyes, gently closing them.

"Imagine me as her, gagging you up because I've been a very..." my hand went back to his erected shaft, "very bad girl...hmm?" I breathed on his neck before leaning down to his groin.

My soft lips touched the head of his cock, then I licked its tip like my life depended on it. My stare doesn't leave his face. He lets out a raging breath but still kept his eyes closed with his head arched back.

My tongue swirled its way to the slit of its head, making sure every corner is surrounded with my mouth. Just as I covered his thick head with my mouth, I eventually take his wholeness slowly. His hips moved back and I could feel his body tensed. My right hand went straight to his base to guide his rod through my mouth. _Fuck_. Why did I even joked about his dick being small when I'm right here, gagging because of his big and hard cock inside my mouth in the middle of the night.

"Mmmhh..." I moaned harshly against him.

"Mm-- Fuck. Ugh ah, you feel so warm..." he cried in pleasure.

I continued bobbing my head in a faster pace. His moans covered the silence inside my car. Now I can feel the hotness inside my pants.

"Shit! _Ungh_\-- hah fuck.." I could see him going crazy through his expressions. He doesn't know where to put his hands so I grabbed them and harshly placed them on the back of my neck. I felt more aroused with his rough hands guiding my head. His other hand moved from my neck to my locks.

"F-fucking ugh ah...liar..." I looked at his face as he mumbled, "S-Shein..." he grunted.

I grinned. Right then, I felt him twitched inside my mouth. After a few seconds, he cummed inside and I swallowed the warm juice from his peak, leaving no drop wasted. I feel my skinny jeans getting wet as well. He exhaled deeply before getting back to his senses when I passed him some tissue. I could feel him staring at me but I didn't look back, proceeding to wipe my mouth clean.

"The fuck did we just do..." he whispered, like all the alcohol was drained from his system now.

"Talk to her." I said casually, still wiping my lips.

"What?" he asked, still looking ridiculously shocked.

"Talk to Shein. She'll explain everything." I said, still not looking at him.

"No." he declined, anger building up again.

"What? You guys pulling tantrums again or what?" I asked, getting annoyed, "When I was sucking you off a while ago you were mumbling shit about how you love her and now?" I raised my brow.

He stared at my face, still not being able to say anything.

I grabbed my phone and started calling her in Facetime.

"I can't face her yet." he answered out of the blue.

I chuckled.

"Why because you got your dick sucked off by her cousin?" I grinned in amusement, "You think it's cheating?"

He remained silent, focusing on me like he's trying to read me.

_Well, no one can._

"Well, it's not. You didn't cheat, I assure you. We were just roleplaying." I laughed but he remained serious, "Fine, just talk to her and if you're not convinced then it's fine! I could even suck your dick again!" I said and threw him my phone.

He gulped as the light reflected on his face. I subtly look at him while he's waiting, his brows are furrowed. 

"Baek? Did you al--" I heard her gasp, "Yeol? Yeol, is that you?" I heard her familiar dramatic cry and I started driving, remaining amused with their conversation.

The smile on my lips never faded until I got home. The things that happened, how I witnessed her getting him back in an instant, _effortlessly. _How that stupid smile went back to his face. Despite the drop of bitterness in my throat, I am overall amused by today's events that I couldn't keep this smug smile away.

Look how I helped you again, Shein. I tolerated you once more. But this time, I'm the one who's the most satisfied and not you.

You want me involved? _Then I'll get involved._


	6. 5-Used

**C**

"Are you busy?" she asked sweetly.

I let out a deep breath while examining the words on my computer screen.

"Uh..." I put my phone between my ear and shoulder before typing, "Actually I am..."

She lets out a disappointed sigh.

"Can we just talk first?" she pleads, "I'm bored...and I miss you..."

"Shein." I said, holding the phone with my hand this time, "I can't, I'm in the office right now and...we have a lot of deadlines coming." I continuously said while reading.

She didn't speak for a second, so I immediately stopped reading.

"Oh.." she speaks in a different tone, "Is that so?"

I lean back on my swivel chair as I massage the bridge of my nose, "I'm sorry, Shein. I'll call you back later, I promise." I seriously said.

"Shein?" I called when she didn't answer.

"Okay." she said.

"Okay, I love you." I said but I wonder if she heard it because the line is dead.

Or she did but she got really pissed to even answer.

Great. My head hurts like hell with all these work and this happens.

I continue closing my eyes, resting them for a while when I heard a sound from the cubicle beside me.

I opened my eyes the quickest way possible and almost jumped off my seat as I turned around.

"Hey, Park." Taewoo greets me while looking at me weirdly when he saw my instant action, "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Huh?" I gulp before chuckling, "Course...I was just startled." I reasoned out. What the fuck? Did I have too much coffee?

"Ah.." he nods, "by the way, have you seen, Baek--"

"No, have you?" I asked instantly. His mouth flew open again and I almost slapped myself, "I mean...no. Hahaha! He just..." I try to keep my posture straight, "Haven't...I haven't seen him and I...you know, have to hand him something important, _wait _are you giving that to him?" I asked quickly, trying to change the topic.

What the fuck is happening to me?

He looks at the folder he's holding before looking back at me, "Yeah, actually. But it's fine. I--"

"Do you want me to give it to him?" I asked, casually volunteering.

He stares weirdly again before slowly handing out the folder.

"Okay...thanks..." he says before starting to turn around but goes back, "by the way, try not to open it? It's actually a bit confidential." he requested.

I purse my lips before nodding, "Yeah, sure."

I look at the folder before roaming my eyes around. He'll probably be here soon, because he's unusually late today.

Come on. It's normal. We're next to each other's cubicles, it's just normal to hand an important file to him.

I sat down on my swivel chair again and slowly turned it around, still keeping my gaze fixed on the folder in front of me.

Confidential, huh?

I look around, checking if someone's looking before leaning on the folder to take a peak. I saw a few files inside. I scan every page, trying to find something bizarre when I hear a buzzing sound from the office door, a sign that someone arrived to log in. Because of the surprise and panic, the folder fell and the papers are scattered on the floor.

I muttered a cuss, quickly kneeling down to reach the papers, "Fuck, what an idiot..."

I grab them as quickly as I can, afraid that someone will pass by and see me being miserable for trying to read a confidential file.

I reach for the last piece of paper when I saw a post-it note under it.

_"Meet me at the pantry later, please. I miss you and those hands, Baek."_

What the?

My face contorted in a frown from the words I read. So that's why it's confidential! Because of this nasty note! And miss his hands? Who says that?! Damn stupid!

"Idiot..." I muttered while slowly crumpling the note. Meet yourself there, dude.

"What are you doing there?" a voice behind me spoke. I jumped in surprise and my head hit the hard table, making me curse and groan.

"Ah shit..." I massage the top of my head before turning around, seeing Baekhyun looking at me like I'm some bizarre frog. His arms are crossed. I immediately put the crumpled paper in my pocket before answering, "I was reaching for the papers that fell under the table, thank you for the injury by the way." I sarcastically remarked.

His eyes follow as I stood up, completely towering over him. A ghost of annoyance remained on my face but when I looked back, seeing his unreadable eyes directed at me, my face relaxed. I then looked away.

I don't have any idea if I was obviously acting weird that moment, but then I heard him chuckle. Completely different from the blank and illegible expression he had, his infamous grin is obvious.

"You're not just stupid..." he shakes his head and walks to his cubicle, "you're clumsy as well." he gave me a short mocking look before focusing on his table.

"Wow." I answer, annoyed again, "between us, you're still dumber!" I fought back. But to no avail, he completely ignored me.

In awe, I slowly sat back on my swivel chair, trying to focus on the loads of work that I've left. But suddenly, I couldn't.

My position remains facing my laptop, but my eyes are slowly drifting to my left side, going back to my screen, then to the left again. My lips pursed into a thin line.

Little feisty Byun Baekhyun is ignoring me. Unlike his very usual asshole self, huh?

When I couldn't stand the silence anymore, I stood up, harshly grabbing the folder on my table.

My tall silhouette should be distracting for him, but he continued typing like he isn't really interested in my whole existence. Well, it's not like he should be... but he should at least try to destroy my day like he usually does.

"Oi!" I called informally. He faced me as he continued typing words on his keyboard. He raised his eyebrows, asking what the heck do I want but didn't even put an effort to say it.

He stops typing when I didn't answer. His upper lip is protruded while his brows crease agaiin, making him look so confused.

"What?" he asked in annoyance.

I throw the folder on his table, still glaring back, "Taewoo told me to give it to you, saying it's confidential." I rolled my eyes when I recalled the note.

His expression remains the same as he stares at the folder. Although I didn't see a trace of panic from him. Maybe he's clueless about the real agenda, too.

"Thanks." he simply says then goes back to typing, though I stay where I am. He turns to me again, getting more pissed, "What the fuck, Chanyeol?!" he hissed, but not too loud for the others to hear.

Now, see? _See?_ He's been ignoring me and now he does that!

I don't understand! Is it because of the blowjob?! Why is he acting like that? I thought it's nothing?!

He's so freaking affected!

"What?" I hiss back, "I'm just standing here, what the heck is your problem?" I asked, emphasizing _your_.

He tapped the edge of the table, making his seat move around facing me, "You're acting weird as fuck!" he exclaims, "You stare like a weird koala, do you know that? You're freaking the hell out of me! Stop it, what the heck!" he snapped.

I laugh in disbelief when I couldn't find the words to answer. It's not even true? I didn't stare that much? This asshole!

"If you're pulling a tantrum again because of your girlfriend, then spare me out of it!"

"Hey! Shein has nothing to do here―"

"Is it about the blowjob then?" my jaw drops when he casually asks, not even bothering to tone down his voice. "Is that why you're acting weird?" he asked like he expected it to happen.

I was dumbfounded when he asked the exact questions in my mind just a few moments ago. And I was even more shocked when I was caught off guard and couldn't even pull my shit together to answer.

Fucking get a grip!

"Shut up!" I hissed, almost like a whisper. The others might hear and they'll probably think that it's true. (it is but fuck can we just not announce)

He raises his brow, "Why?" he asks, "It's true, then? you're acting weird because of it? I thought it's nothing?" he sarcastically asked.

Bullshit! Why is he throwing my bullets back to me!

"Shut up!" I hiss through gritted teeth, my breathing gets ragged, nervous if someone would hear, "of course it's nothing! We're both drunk." I was left without any reason, "fuck off and let me work in peace!" I snapped. Fuck, it's like it all came back to me like a digital karma.

"Exactly!" he points his index finger, "It's a normal drunken mistake. I can even suck you again later if you want." he said like he's just selling cookies.

"You wish!" I answer back, feeling my ears go red, "never again, asshole!" I harshly grabbed my chair and sat back down.

I heard his mocking laugh from the other side, "You're so affected, Chanyeol." he jeered.

I could hear my fast breathing. My fingertips feel heavy as I smash my keyboard to continue my work.

Affected? How fucking dare him?! It's him who's affected and not me!

I brush my hair with my fingers, tugging them furiously.

I'm such a fucking idiot. 

**x**

"Chanyeol, you coming?" they asked since we're set to have a meeting at five but I need to finish this so that I'll only have to send it later.

I nod at them, "Yeah, go ahead. I'll catch up later." I said before going back to work. The clock strikes quarter to five and there are no employees left near my cubicle. Once I checked everything, I turned my Macbook off and started cleaning my table.

I stood up to go to the conference room. I was heading to the elevator when I saw Taewoo.

"Hey!" I called, blocking his way. He looks like he's catching something because he's walking unusually fast. I saw a glimpse of annoyance on his face when I blocked his way.

"What, Chanyeol?" he asks, a bit exasperated. "Can we talk later? I need to go to the bathroom." he said, trying to get me out of the way.

"Bathroom?" I ask suspiciously, recalling the note he slipped in the folder earlier. He squints his eyes and starts glaring at me, "I mean... I was just about to ask you if the meeting started already? cause―" he waved his hand in front of my face as he cut me off.

"Yes, yes it did." he says, irritated. "So if you'll excuse me." he quickly answered before walking away again.

My gaze followed him. He seems to be in a rush. And he doesn't look like someone who needs to go to the bathroom either.

Unless...

I looked at the way I was about to take towards the conference room before heading the opposite, following Taewoo. I feel like my instinct is right. And besides, I don't know if Baek's in the conference room already.

Once I get in front of the bathroom door, I hear a murmuring sound inside. I look around, nobody's here. I lean towards the door to try to hear it more but it's all mumbles and I couldn't figure out the words. Although of course, I know just too well who's inside.

When I couldn't take it any longer, I gripped the door knob and slowly twisted it, wondering if it's locked. But it's not.

My jaw clenched, are they this stupid to not even bother locking the door? What if someone opens it who's not me? Someone who's completely clueless about the nasty thing they're doing?

I carefully pushed the door, but not that opened. Just enough to let my right eye peak through it. And I was right, two people are inside. I can see Baekhyun leaning back on the marble wall, his lip is mumbling something while his brows are crossed unlike his usual sly expression. It's like he's also surprised how he ended up with Taewoo inside.

They exchanged a what seemed to be a heated conversation before Taewoo harshly grabs Baekhyun's nape and crashes their lips together. Baekhyun's eyes are wide open while he's struggling to push Taewoo and tries to break away from the sudden kiss.

My breathing suddenly gets labored as I watch them. Gulping hard, I feel my jaw clenching like my grip around the knob. I prepare myself to step inside and save him after seeing him struggling.

He's pushed harder on the wall with the taller one's body. His left hand is formed into a fist as it tries pushing Taewoo's shoulder away. It's just too close for me, but just as I'm about to do it, I see him finally letting the guy do what he wants and relaxes his tensed body. He stops fighting back and lets himself be harassed.

I exhale a silent breath with the sudden realization.

Maybe he likes it too. Clearly.

I feel my grip on the knob becoming tighter. It's like my eyes forgot to blink as I stare at the both of them, having no idea about the rushing thoughts and emotions going on inside me. Why the fuck is he letting himself be used like that? 

With gritted teeth, my gaze falls on the floor to stop watching them, still heaving. I silently close the door, figuring out what happens now.

I should've just walked away. It's clearly the most obvious choice. Yet then again, I find my fist positioned on the bathroom door, harshly banging it four times. When I hear a little commotion inside, I walk away fast, heading my way to the conference room where I am very late at the meeting I'm supposed to attend. But suddenly, it's like an unimportant matter.

I went inside and saw that they're midway of the presentation. I apologized before standing at the corner, trying my best not to interrupt the presenter. Since the whole room is packed, the late employees are standing in the corners of the room. I cleared my throat and tried focusing on the presentation, denying the fact that my thoughts are flying somewhere.

"You okay?" a girl beside me asked. She seemed to notice my upset expression, my brows are crossed and my jaw is still slightly clenched.

"Yeah, yeah of course." I tried smiling but I know it only looked forced since she doesn't seem convinced. 

The door opened as Baekhyun entered the room. He looks very well-groomed. Like he wasn't almost fucked by someone in the bathroom. The slight rage comes back as I stare at him. I look at the door, expecting Taewoo to follow but he doesn't, so I glare back at Baekhyun.

The dim lights in the conference room didn't stopped me from consistently throwing him a piercing look. He looks around, probably trying to find an available seat, but when he sees that there's nothing, he makes his way towards me to probably stand as well.

Despite the stare I'm giving, he didn't even manage to look at me. He just walked straight and started listening to the presenter. He probably doesn't know that I'm the one beside him. Or maybe he's just good at pretending.

My teeth are now clashing against each other while my lips are pursed in a thin line, displaying my constant annoyance. And as if he heard my internal cursing, he looks at me. His eyes slightly widen but it comes back to its usual look when he finds out that I'm beside him, probably not as calm as he is.

I didn't even bother looking away when our eyes met. I just feel very irked, and I don't even know why. He then looked at me weirdly again.

"What?" he whispered. I figured out that this is no time to focus on him because we're in the middle of an important meeting, so I rolled my eyes away, looking at the presentation in front.

"Tss." I heard him hiss. I'm aware that he irritably rolled his eyes at me too. Ugh, I hate his guts so much.

The meeting was adjourned with my mind absorbing no idea from the presentation. The employees found their way outside the conference room, rushing back to their unfinished work. I stood there for a moment, avoiding a bunch of people exiting. I'll just wait for them to leave.

Since I have finished my tasks earlier today, I just want to go home and sleep. I need a good rest. I abhor the atmosphere in this office, it disgusts me.

I made my way back to my cubicle, packed up my things and prepared to leave. Baekhyun wasn't in his cubicle but who cares? Maybe he's finishing his _work _somewhere, it seems like a lot of job.

I could feel that the grim expression remained on my face because people kept staring at me and nobody even dared to talk to me when I walked my way outside. I really don't want to give them a bad impression but right now, I just don't really care.

When the automatic sliding door to the parking lot opened, I saw a familiar figure. Baekhyun is standing there with his phone on his left hand, and a cigarette on the other. He smokes while directing his gaze at me, waiting for me to get closer.

So I glared at him again. Oh what a good, good way to end the day.

He laughed sarcastically when he saw my face.

"You know what? I don't know what the hell your problem is, but you're getting in my nerves right now." he says with his usual sass, "I wanna punch you so bad but since I'm a little humanitarian, I just called your girlfriend to try and fix that abominable behavior of yours." he said as he puffed another smoke.

I ignored him, trying my best not to shout right on his face. I headed towards my car, but the insensitive little shit even followed me.

"Wow, you can't even thank me?" he fakes a hurt tone, "these past few days I've been doing a lot of favors for you, Park. And here you are, flashing me with your sudden obnoxious behavior." he even blew the smoke in front of me.

"Can you fuck off?" I hissed. He fakes a shocked face again.

"Hey!" he laughs, "Whatever it is, I'm sorry okay! Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Shein said she'll call you later. Do you want me to suggest SOP? Huh, Park--" I cut him off.

"I'm not like you." I snarled.

His mocking smile faded.

"What?" he asked with a demanding tone.

"I'm not like you, Baekhyun." I snap, "I am not oversexed like you, who fucks anyone, anytime, anywhere. We're different." his mouth flew open, but he wasn't able to answer. I turned my back on him, but returned when couldn't help asking.

"Why?" I ask, "Are you normally like that? You let anyone touch you, use you and even harass you?! What are you gonna do if no one's there to help you?! Huh? What could've happened to you?!" I blurted out, not letting myself breathe in every word.

He blinks rapidly, "Wait...you didn't--" his tone becomes different, "Did you..." he said, trying to continue.

"You look like a desperate hoe, do you know that?" I snap, unable to control my words of rage, "have you lost your self-respect? Those guys? They're using you to fulfill their sexual needs. Are you that stupid to not even notice that? And worse you let them do that!" I breathed heavily again as we remained looking at each other.

Something flashes on his face before his expression completely hardens.

"Are you done?" he asked, his tone becoming colder.

I didn't answer.

"Preaching so much about self-respect now, are you?" he scoffs at me, "Continue believing a bullshit lie that we're not the same. Cause we're pretty much." he says while grinning, but I could see his hard grip on his phone, "You are such a hypocrite, Chanyeol. You are." he snapped.

I panted deeply.

"If that's what you're mad about, then don't bother. I'm not changing for anyone, especially for you. You're just my cousin's stupid toy. At least I'm just letting them use me, I don't commit myself to them. But you? You do both." my grip tightened around my car handle.

I turn back to my car, refusing to look at him and hear everything he has to say.

"So you think you're a lucky guy who's finally got the love of his life?" he adds with a laugh, mocking me. "My cousin is a pretentious evil witch, and sadly, you're under her spell."

"Shut up." I snarled. I can feel my anger rising more as he talks lies about Shein.

"You're right, I'm not like you." he slowly shakes his head, then exhales the last puff of smoke before stepping on his cigarette, "Because you're worse, Chanyeol. You're much worse. You're fucked up." he said and slyly pointed his index finger at me. He grinned wickedly before leaving me there, as if all the air around me is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you can leave some kudos and comments if you can ^ ^


	7. 6-Lips Taste Like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be the last chapter in the first part with first person's POV.

**B**

I fucking hate him to the bones.

"I know right!" I laughed out loud together with some of my office mates, even slapping the table because of some ridiculous story. From the corner of my eyes, I could feel a pair of eyes observing me.

The ghost of smug smile never leaves my face. As much as I want to act naturally carefree, deep inside, I'm annoyed as hell deep. The words never left my mind no matter how much I tried shrugging it off.

But joke's on him cause I'll never let him see it.

"Chanyeol! You're being a party-pooper! Join us heeeeere." a girl giggled. 

All of them turn their heads to my right, except me. I remain facing another direction, refusing to even take a glance of him.

"It's fine." I hear his deep voice saying, "don't really have the time." he added. I chuckled silently. Good because I can't stand him.

I felt their attention back in the circle, making me conclude that he already left. But I caught the glimpse of disappointment on their faces.

"Chanyeol is so quiet and mysterious, don't you think?" one of them said.

"Yeah. He's hot as fuck but he's weird sometimes." another one added.

"He's been like that ever since though. Maybe he's just shy, come on let the poor guy go!" they continued the conversation about Chanyeol and I rolled my eyes in annoyance. I remained unusually quiet because of their topic that I'm not really interested with.

My mind went back to that Friday night...

"He looks fun to be with. Maybe if we get to know him better, then he'll loosen up a bit." Gayoung says. "Right, Baek?" she turned to me.

"Huh?" I asked, startled.

"You're friends with Chanyeol right? He isn't that shy, is he?" she asked again, their eyes are focused on me.

Is this for real? I used to have all this attention because of my interesting existence, and now they're gawking at me for some little details about a stupid guy?

I rolled my eyes.

"He's an idiot." I said and stood up to leave. I didn't wait for them to answer and this may also be the last time I'm hanging out with them at lunch if they're going to continue talking about that asshole.

**x**

"I'm craving for mochi..." I groaned. Ji eun slapped my arm.

"You've been saying that a lot of times now, Baek!" she said, annoyed. She rolled her eyes and continued eating her lunch.

"That's because I'm craving! Cravings are supposed to be satisfied, bimbo." I snapped and sighed again.

She pouts, "Why don't you eat your lunch first, then after that you can go find a store that sells mochi." she suggested.

I played the rice with my fork.

"I can't even eat this now, I'm craving for Mochi so much I can't eat anything other than that!" I complained.

"Good luck!" she teases with her mouth full of rice. Seriously? Where's the poise? "I never heard anyone selling Mochi in this part of the city. They're usually out of the market early in the morning. And the pastry shop across us just closed last week, right?" she wiggled her brows.

I gritted my teeth in annoyance as I felt my craving becoming more intense.

"Arggh!"

"Why don't you ask Gayoung and the others if they know a place?" she said, still not letting go of her precious plate.

I rolled my eyes, again.

"No thanks," I hiss, "They'll just ask me to have lunch with them and I don't want to." I continued, recalling their interest about that guy. I haven't had lunch with them these past few days because they just won't quit talking about him like he's some superstar.

Ji eun laughed hysterically. I glared at her.

"Why? Because they keep talking about Chanyeol?" she says between her laugh, "Heol, Baek!"

"No!" I say defensively, "Because who'll go to lunch with you? You have no one so here I am. Nobody likes you." I smirked and it's her turn to glare.

After a few minutes of nagging Ji eun about Mochi, I couldn't help it anymore. I went out of the building to find some stupid Mochi shop. I searched about it on the internet and I found a few stores.

Well...too bad, they're really not that near.

"Excuse me?" I walk towards the street food vendor after stepping down from the cab, "Is Janggah's Cakes located in this street?" I asked while wiping the sweat forming on my forehead.

"It's that store." she points the building in cream color, I felt like blocks of stones falling on my head as I looked, "Oh, it's closed today. Must be under renovation." she said casually.

WHY ARE THEY RENOVATING IN THIS TIME OF THE YEAR?

"Oh...I see." I try smiling even though deep inside I wanna scream in frustration, "Thank you very much." as soon as turned my back on her, my smile turned into a big frown.

My lunch break ends in a few minutes and I'm on the other side of the city, trying to find this stupid Mochi.

My phone vibrated as Ji eun's text message flashed on the screen.

_From: Ji eun_

_Baek, where are you?_

I cussed. Inside me is a mixture of annoyance, frustration and exhaustion.

_To: Ji eun_

_IM LOOKIBNG FOR A DAMN MOCHI DON"T DISTURNB_

I breathed heavily as I smashed my screen before putting it back to my pocket.

"I'm very sorry. By tomorrow, we'll restock. It's just really in demand that's why we weren't able to produce more.." the store attendant apologized. I forced my self to smile. She sighed when she saw my face, I think I'm becoming more and more transparent now.

"I'm really sorry..."

"It's fine." I fake a chuckle, "It's fine... it's just my third store. I can find another. Thanks by the way." I said before immediately walking out of the store. I checked the time and it's quarter to one. My lunch is gonna be over in a few minutes.

I grabbed a cab and as soon as I got in, I exhaled a deep breath. I guess I'm really that unfortunate. Even the damn Mochis won't let me leave a peaceful life. My lips slightly pouted as I became teary-eyed. Goddammit! I want those and they're suddenly non-existent! What a load of bullshit!!!!!

Ah, I crave like a pregnant woman. Why the fuck am I like this?

I badly want Mochis.

"You okay?" the cab driver asked as I sniffed loudly.

I stare at him through the mirror, "Do you happen to know anyone selling Mochi?" I asked as he looked at me weirdly.

"Baek!!" Ji eun, who's surprisingly with my former friend Heechul (he just showed up today) ran towards me as I walked past the automatic door, "I've been texting you!"

"I replied, didn't I?" I weakly said, finding it hard to even initiate a conversation.

"Yeah, with some alien language." Heechul says, butting in, "What's with your weird cravings and you suddenly text weird languages?" he asked.

"It's called typo, dumbass bitch." I glare at him, "Maybe you'll know it if you've been abandoned by your bitch friend for a week or if you hop into three stores without finding stupid Mochi's." I blurted out continuously.

"Woaaaah!" he raises both his hands as if surrendering, "Look who missed me too much and is totally bitching about it!" he exclaimes. Damn I hate his gay tone, "And for a fact, I did not abandon you, stupid hoe, I was just busy!" he defended.

"Like I care." I snapped. I could've roasted his ass for so many things but I just don't feel like talking right now.

I hate life.

They followed me until inside our department, where I see a bunch of people having a commotion around one table. I stared at them, wondering what it is about when I saw what they're holding...

Mochis.

My breath hitches. Holy fucking shit.

"This is what I was supposed to tell you!" Ji eun jumps behind me, "I was about to tell you not to worry about Mochi's anymore because there are a lot here." she said.

My eyes couldn't leave the painful scenario.

I want to jump in fucking frustration and happiness at the same time.

My stomach growls.

"Baek!" Nara, an officemate calls me, "I heard you're craving for this!" she teases while deliciously chewing the purple mochi, I gulped. "Go and have a happy tummy because Chanyeol treated us a bunch of Mochi's!" she pointed the guy in a black jacket.

The bastard in a white shirt and black jacket gloriously stood there. Beside my precious Mochi's. I gritted my teeth. He seemed to hear my conflicted thoughts as he turned to me, his brows suddenly creasing with my expression.

Just... why?

"Go on, Baek. There's still a lot left!" she said, trying to encourage me.

I remained looking at him. His questioning eyes move between me and Nara like he's trying to figure out what's happening. I stayed silent.

He then raised his brows as his lips turned into a small grin. Casually looking away, he tried hard to hide that smug smile.

Not in a million light years.

"No thanks," I start off, "I'm not craving anymore." I said in an instant, not missing how his proud face relaxed.

I turned around to find my way to the pantry. I can just grab a sandwich in the last five minutes of lunch. Sandwich is fine. It's fine.

No, it's not.

First of all, WHERE DID HE GET THOSE STUPID ASS MOCHI?!?! I SPENT AN HOUR WALKING AROUND SEOUL JUST TO FIND THAT STUPID FOOD!

And of all the days! Why the hell did he even buy that when I'm craving too much? I'm not really amused by this coincidence.

Oh did he really think that I would beg just because of this stupid craving? No thanks, I will never ask anything from that idiot.

I bit my lip. my frustration is still invading my entire system. I can't believe a lot of my effort today were put into waste.

"Ehem..." a familiar deep voice startled me from behind. I gasped as I slightly jumped in surprise.

"Fucktard..." I whisper while breathing deeply which I think he heard because of his expression, "What?" I snapped.

"Well..." he starts off, "I just wanna ask if you're mad ab--"

"Don't talk to me." I hissed.

He furrowed his brows with obvious annoyance. Then he sighed before talking again.

"Okay then." he seriously says, "But lunch is over in a minute, I think you didn't even--"

"I said don't talk to me!" I exclaim, very frustrated. "Are we friends?" I sarcastically remarked before rolling my eyes and started to walk past him.

"Fine, tss." I heard him whisper.

My teeth are still gritted as I tried calming myself. Before I could even walk away, I faced him again, doing something I know I might regret.

"Oi!" I rudely called. He turned to face me, then raised his right brow trying to figure out why I am calling him after everything I said.

I gulped but still maintained a stone cold expression.

"Where?" I asked. Trying not to say too many words.

His forehead creased more.

"Where _what_?"

"Where did you buy those Mochis?" I quickly asked, delivering the most important question to ask.

His face relaxes and he flashes that stupid expression he was making earlier.

The side of his lips curves mockingly, "Don't talk to me." he snapped, even imitating how I said it a while ago.

I didn't even know my frustration can go up to a higher extent. I threw him a sharp look.

"Are we friends?" he added, flashing me his stupid grin before turning his back on me.

Fucking bastard!

**x**

Days have passed and I thought I'll get over this exaggerated Mochi craving but I was wrong. It became worse. And everyday, it's like hell sent Park Chanyeol into this world to bring Mochi everyday. I don't even know if it's a simple treat for them or he just likes seeing me suffering. Either way, he's a cock fucking prick. I tried making other people ask where he bought those Mochi but he wouldn't even budge. It's like he completely knows that I'm the one who wants to ask about it. 

Even his mocking expression when he sees me doesn't help me either.

"Baek, I'll hop in with you tonight. Please?" Ji eun pleaded. We will all work late until tonight. Damn these stupid projects. Always taking away my night life.

"Me again?" I complain, "Why don't you ask Heechul since he hasn't even made it up to us!" I exclaimed.

Heechul only glared at me, nonetheless, he agreed on sending Ji eun home tonight.

It was past six in the evening when Marge called me. I sighed heavily. I didn't even notice the time because of too much work!

_"Baek?" _

"Yup?" I put my phone between my ear and shoulder as I continued working.

_"Can you call Shein on facetime?" _she asked. I was immediately annoyed.

"What is it this time?" I asked.

_"She isn't answering. Maybe on facetime she will. Mom wants to talk to her, she hasn't called for days now. Just tell her to call us." _she requested.

"I'm not really sure..." I reply, "I mean, I'm really bombarded with a lot of work right now." I said, which is true.

_"Oh, okay..." _I hear her say. I immediately felt guilty. Out of all my cousins, Marge has been the person I am most fine with. Couldn't even understand why her sister's a hoe.

"I'll try later, promise. I just need to finish this first. I'll get back to you." I said, deciding to help her anyway.

_"Really? Thank you, Baekkie." _we ended the call and I continued with the job I needed to do. I almost forgot Shein until 11PM. There's still a lot of people in the office, everyone has a task to finish.

I decided to take a break and go to the rooftop. I need air after more than ten hours of working. I brought my phone with me.

The cold breeze of air enveloped me. It's almost winter and the air is freezing. I zipped my Velvet jacket up to my neck as I exhaled a cold air through my mouth.

I placed my phone on my left ear after dialing Shein's number. What has this girl been up to?

After a couple of rings, the line went off because of being unattended. What the hell?

I logged in to my facetime account and clicked her name again, it's ringing too. She better answer this cause I got no patience now.

I after the third ring, she picked up.

"Shein! What the hell? I've been calli--" I stopped when I noticed that it wasn't her on the screen but a man with a blanket. We stared at each other, both shocked. Before I could even utter a word, he dropped the call.

I tried to get myself together before trying to call her again. But she wouldn't answer.

I could feel my blood boiling in anger. I know him. He's the famous ex. He's the one who fucked things up just a few weeks ago. And now that we all thought she got rid of him, turns out he's still in the picture.

Why should I have a stupid cousin like her?! She's clearly cheating! Does she really think it's fine because she's far from here so she got everything under her control?!

I don't know what's up with her brain really!

_To: Shein_

_Answer the damn phone._

I waited for a few minutes and she's still not answering. My hands turned into fists as I start losing my patience.

_To: Shein_

_Call me within this minute. I'll wait. DON'T TEST MY PATIENCE_

With my jaw clenched, I glared at the screen of my phone, waiting for her call. After a few seconds, it vibrated. I quickly swiped the screen to answer.

_"Baek..." _she said in a low voice. I could sense panic in her tone.

"What do you think you're doing, Shein?" I hissed, "What do you think you're doing?!" I repeated angrily.

_"Baek..." _I hear her sniff, _"It's not what you think--"_

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I shouted at her as I walked to the corner of the railings, "You're cheating goddammit! You know this is wrong! You're intentionally cheating, Shein!" I said repeatedly. I couldn't find the words to say to her. I just feel very furious.

She cries hard from the other line. All I could hear is her loud hiccups and sniffs.

_"I tried..." _she defends, _"believe me... I tried, I really tried but..." _she hesitated.

"But what?!" I snap, "What Shein?! Fucking talk straight!"

_"I don't know...I-I can't..." _she cries, my jaw drops in awe, _"I can't do it that fast...it's like..." _she stuttered.

I waited for her to finish. I'm pretty sure my heavy breathing can be heard over the line. I just want to scream at her face right now, but I'm giving her the last straw to explain about the foolish things she's been doing.

_"I don't know, Baek. Please... please let's just not talk tonight." _her voice became more solid as she sighed.

I chuckled in disbelief.

"What? Is this a fucking TV drama you can just skip whenever you want? I'm fully aware that you've been a major drama queen but can you just face your fucking dilemma right now!"

She didn't speak. I could feel that she's waiting for me to get tired screaming at her so I could finally be over this.

I laughed sarcastically, I'm so done with her. I've always been problematic because of her. Is it really mandatory because she's my cousin?

I've always been told that despite of my upfront and bold attitude, I'm nice. That I'm actually a kind person who takes care of everyone's fucked up life. But I never believe that. 

Maybe. Maybe I really am. Maybe this is the answer to my thoughts from the past week. Why I'm tolerating people like Shein. Maybe I'm the nice one who shoulders responsibilities from other people.

"How about Chanyeol?" I ask in a low and tired voice. I chuckle, "You promised the poor guy, Shein. Is that how heartless you are?" I asked.

I shook my head when once again, yet all I got was silence.

"Are you gonna tell him and break up whatever you have then?" I asked again, providing her the chance to answer things directly.

_"No." _but I'm startled by her sudden and answer, _"I love Chanyeol." _she said directly as if she's certain of it.

"What?" I asked through gritted teeth.

_"He won't know. I'm still choosing him, Baek. I'll finish whatever is between Joohyuk and me, then I'll go back there in an instant. I'll go back to Chanyeol." _she said casually like she already had this all planned inside her head. Her tone didn't even match the one she used before, making me think that she just faked it all up. The crying and stuff.

She's unbelievable.

I didn't speak for a few seconds because of disbelief. Is she even real? My mouth is slightly ajar while I scanned the whole city flickering with lights. I couldn't find the words to say.

Fuck it. I'm done being nice with you.

"I'll tell him." I said, not as a warning because I will really do it.

_"What?"_ she asked, surprised with my answer.

"I'll tell Chanyeol about all of these." I said, showing her the side of me who's capable of doing anything I want.

_"You can't do that.." _she replied, obviously panicking.

"Oh yeah?" I grin, "Why don't you watch me?" I challenged her.

_"Fuck you, Baek!" _she curses hysterically, I could hear her loud breathing, _"Don't even try! Stop meddling with my life. Don't even go near Chanyeol and ruin what we have or else!" _I could barely understand her. I can imagine her smudged mascara as she hysterically threatened me.

"Or else what?" I dare her, "And ruin what you have?" I laugh like a maniac, "What is it that you have? Didn't you already ruin it yourself when you started whoring around there with Chanyeol being clueless here?" I mocked.

_"FUCK OFF BAEKHYUN!"_

"Just wait for his message, soon-to-be-dumped girl." I said before ending the call. I could still hear her screaming from the other line. I breathed deeply. I think I forgot how to breathe with the conversation we had.

This is your pathetic end, my little evil cousin.

I was about to turn around to go back when my phone vibrated.

_From: Shein_

_Tell Chanyeol and I'll tell Uncle where you are._

I almost lost a grip around my phone as I read the message.

My jaw clenched. My heart is racing unusually fast as I dial her number again.

I knew it. I shouldn't have underestimated her. She's a fucking lunatic. She's a manipulative brat.

_"Glad to hear from you that quick." _she said coldly. There is no trace of panic in her voice anymore. She's back to her wicked and evil self.

"Wow!" my hand balls into a tight fist, "And now you're threatening me, you evil wench?!" I growled.

_"My request is very simple and basic, Baekkie." _she replies, _"Don't tell Chanyeol and your tiny secret's safe with me." _she teased. Even trying to rhyme her words.

"You think you can fool me?" I said, trying to stop my eyes from watering.

_"You don't want your Dad to know where his feisty little son is living now, don't you? Or else you'll be under Daddy's control again. Daddy doesn't want a gay child. We don't want any purple marks on your pretty face, don't we little Byun?" _she wickedly said.

I bit my lip as my eyes pooled with tears. Terrible memories begin flashing in my head. I could sense that she's smiling like a crazy woman from where she is. She definitely knows how to get people on the palm of her hand.

"You fucking bitch..." I angrily cussed.

_"Oh please." _she chuckles, _"You know me. More than anyone else. That's why you're my favorite! We're the same, Baek. I'm just a little better." _she laughs dangerously. _"Call me up again, lover boy." _she teased before ending the call.

I gulped after forgetting how to get a grip of myself for a few minutes. She knows how to manipulate everyone. Even me. She can't afford to lose at all cost.

I harshly wiped my cheeks.

I inhaled and exhaled deep breaths as I tried to calm myself. Don't stress yourself too much over this, Baekhyun. Don't let this bother you.

I was in deep thought while looking at the bright lights of the city when I heard footsteps behind me. I looked behind and saw Chanyeol walking towards the railings. He saw me and stopped in surprise.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before he looked away.

"Okay. I didn't know you're here. I was just about to get some air and--" he started explaining.

"I don't care." I snapped. I leaned on the railings and continued looking at the tall towers.

I felt him lean over the railings as well. He's about a meter away from me, but I could smell his perfume. It smells manly, although it's not the strong type to make me dizzy.

"Why are we always bumping into each other?" I asked out of the blue without looking at him, I saw his head tilting towards where I am from my peripheral vision.

"Uh.. because we're workmates?" he said like it doesn't make sense at all. My question doesn't make sense at all.

We were covered by another brief silence. It's not uncomfortable though, I could still hear the wind and faint vehicle sounds.

"Do you know that building from there?" he enthusiastically points the tall tower from the far right. He's all smiles but it suddenly fades as he puts down his hand, "Oh why am I even saying this... don't bother hearing it." he said, sounding like a child whose story isn't told.

I put my chin on my right hand to face him, "What about it?" I asked. He looked at me in surprise and his enthusiasm went back while looking at the said building.

"I was ten when they started constructing that." ten? How old is he right now? Forty?

"So?" I snapped. He glared at my rude response but his smile came back like all those flickering lights.

"My Mom and I always passed by it when we walked home from school. I was elementary by the way... Then she always told me," I want to laugh at how he insert little details in his story like it's relevant, "that it's gonna be the tallest and brightest building to be built in Seoul." he shook his head while still smiling, like he loves the story so much.

"And I told her it's not possible. I mean..." he chuckles, "A lot of companies can build taller buildings and brighter ones." now that I notice it, his right eye twitches when he smiles too much, "but she said she's certain of it, maybe there can be taller ones, but it'll sure be the brightest." his voice becomes softer, "So we made a deal, if a taller and brighter tower is built, she will have to treat me. If not, then I will. It was our deal every year." I gulped.

He didn't speak for a few seconds. I thought he's done with the story. Then he spoke again.

"And every year I lost." he mumbled, his eyes meaningfully stares at the figure from the far right.

I looked around the whole city. There are a lot of tall towers, like it was a competition of height to them. Massive figures and different shapes. Although there's this one average tower from the right. It is not as high as the other buildings, although one thing makes it stand out among the rest.

The white and blue light it emits from the top can almost light up the whole city in a blackout.

"Woah," I couldn't hide my astonishment, "Now I notice it!" I exclaimed, still staring at the building, trying to find a brighter one but simply couldn't.

"My Mom's amazing..." he says with full of affection, "can't figure out if mothers are normally psychics." he laughed.

"What are you gonna treat her this year then?" I asked curiously. He must have been very close to her.

He lets out a lopsided smile.

"I wish!" he chuckled.

My forehead creased, "Why?" he looks at me, "is the deal off?"

He narrowed his eyes and roamed it around the city before looking at me again. Then he sighed.

"She's gone." he said, still slightly smiling.

My face softens. I suddenly feel a little pang in my chest.

"I-I'm sorry..." I stuttered. Damn, Baek. This is what you get for being so nosy.

He laughed genuinely, "It's fine." his eyes focused on the bright tower, "At least she gave me something to remember." he smiled before looking back at me again.

My eyes settle on his face.

How can he do that?

I smiled back at him. I suddenly felt very light and warm. It's been so long since I last felt this. The smile is somewhat...contagious.

As I look at him, I remember what happened tonight. My smile fades in an instant. He doesn't deserve all of this.

Chanyeol can be an idiot sometimes but he doesn't deserve all of these lies. He's a person who lives in truth and sincere reality.

I continued staring at his face as he gazes around the whole city, a ghost of his smile is still on his face as if he remembers every bit of his memories with his Mom. Can I really do it? Can I manage to let this smile be changed or worse to lose it because of my stupid cousin?

I heavily sighed. 

"Do you think people change?" I asked, seriously. I didn't look at him, but I could feel his attention on me.

"Yeah. Of course they do. We do, I mean." he answered with his deep voice.

"Really?" this time, I stare back at him. I raise my brows and look at him with my exhausted eyes. "Do you think if someone hurt you, they're not capable of hurting you again?" I asked.

He shrugs, "Well... not if they're sincerely apologetic for it." his forehead suddenly creased as he looks at me, "Where is this coming from?" he asked.

My heart skips as I stare into his round and expressive eyes.

"Tch." I fizzle before laughing, "Is it wrong to be deep sometimes?" I said as I continued laughing.

His lips curved into a cool and sheepish laugh.

"Not all people can take deep conversations though." he replied as he lightheartedly laughed.

"Really?" I raise my brows, "I make a lot of my friends listen to my philosophical words all the time." I argued.

"But it takes a very few to truly listen and understand, mind you." he raises his brow, too as he continued grinning, "lucky you, I'm here." he lets out a deep and playful laugh.

I swallowed hard. I want to tell you. _I badly want to. _If only I can, please.

I stare at him. His beaming face is now indifferent from the bright city lights around him.

_What is happening?_

What have you done, Shein?

And there, my senses are gone as I took a step forward and grabbed the back of his neck to kiss him on the lips.

I held his face as I tilted my head, feeling his nose touching my cheek.

Holy fuck Byun Baekhyun!

I prepared myself mentally. He's gonna push me for sure. He's gonna push me and curse me, _"what the fuck dude I'm not gay!" _I'm waiting for it as I closed my eyes.

His soft lips feel very good and warm against mine. _Goddammit._ This is wrong. Wrong in so many levels.

I pulled my face centimeters away as I slowly opened my eyes. I saw his eyes staring directly at my face.

"Why?" I shivered at his deep and low voice.

Why? Why? As in why I stopped?

That's what he's asking?

Well then, I couldn't care less. 

"Mochi." I grinned buoyantly, his face still inches away.

"Hmm?" he asked and his face made that cute curious expression again as he unintentionally scrunches his nose. (fuck did I just say cute)

Fuck you, Shein. _You lost here._

"Your lips taste like Mochi." I said before leaning again.


	8. 7-Handle Him

Chanyeol remains uneasy. 

He looks like a paranoid shit. He's been feeling extra weird for the past few days. Turning around to look at the sliding door every time it beeps and open is his new-found hobby.

Of course, his denial self is quite (well not that quite actually) curious about Baekhyun's whereabouts. The other boy has filed a few days of leave, a day after that...well, after that kiss.

He never got the chance to talk to him. Ask him what the hell was that all about.

He actually had the chance though. The moment it happened. The exact moment or even just the moment after it. He had every chance but he just...didn't do it?

A part of him thinks that it's normal. For Pete's sake, he even gave him a blowjob before. What's with a simple kiss? Chanyeol thought that maybe that's just how Baekhyun is. Maybe... he just kisses anyone he likes when he feels like it.

Chanyeol heard that Baekhyun went to Osaka. That's probably why he felt more curious as Shein is in Japan, but in Tokyo. Why would Baekhyun go to Osaka and not Tokyo? It just doesn't make any sense.  
  


x

After a long tiring day at work, he went home and saw his pal Mihawk, soundly sleeping at his couch. He sighed, throwing his car keys on the center table.

"Yah." his deep voice echoes within his living room as he throws his leather bag on the couch, he walks nearer to slap the guy's leg, "Yah!" he nagged, starting to wake him up.

"The fuck dude..." Mihawk groaned, he irritably scratched his neck as he sat straight.

"Don't you have a home?" Chanyeol snapped, pushing his friend to sit in the couch as well.

"Wow." Mihawk glares at him, "Is this what I get for looking after your house?" he threw Chanyeol a sharp look.

"Thieves can go back and forth here with the way you sleep." Chanyeol massaged the bridge of his nose as he tightly closed his eyes. 

They remained unusually silent as the guy is still trying to get over his interrupted sleep. Then he heard Mihawk sighed.

"I don't really understand why you have to work that much when you have your own studio. And with your family's income, you can still live for three lifetimes! Dude, you should just focus on being self-employed." the other suggested.

He remained staring blankly on the floor. There are so many things running in his mind. And with what his friend said, it made him think more. His family is indeed rich. His father owns a hotel franchise that is well-known in Seoul. While his sister is a renowned news anchor. He even has his own music studio, that's why people around him don't really understand why he has to do an office work. Much more over times.

But when was the last time he was understood? Chanyeol questions in his mind. All he knows is that he wants to be different from them. He wants his life to be how he wants it.

"And the band?" Mihawk seriously asks, "What about the band?" he repeated. This time, Chanyeol looks at him before sighing testily.

"I thought we talked about this," Chanyeol stands up, he picks up his bag from the couch and started walking to his room, "this shouldn't even be an issue anymore." he tiredly uttered.

Mihawk follows him to his room as he continues, "You know this will always be an issue! Lay and others will always think that you left them hanging. You should've at least explain it to them." he replied.

Chanyeol sat on the edge of his bed, he wants to dismiss the existence of his friend, who's leaning on the door of his bedroom.

"Please, dude." Chanyeol sighed with finality.

"No, Chanyeol. Why don't you just go back to the band? It's what you've always wanted! It used to be all that matters to you!" he exclaims, Chanyeol couldn't find the words to say, "Just... what's happening to you, man?" there's a trace of disappointment in his voice.

Chanyeol remained silent for a few seconds. He doesn't know how he can say it without sounding dumb. Because it actually is, dumb. Plain nonsense.

"Shein doesn't want it." he finally speaks, avoiding eye contact with his friend, "She doesn't want me to do all this band stuff and..." he added, trying his best to sound casual as he felt a slight lump in his throat.

Mihawk looks at Chanyeol, as the other kept his head down while looking at his hands. He doesn't know how to react to this. Although his eyes scream sympathy to the guy.

"Seriously?" he uttered disbelievingly.

Chanyeol finally had the guts to look at him, "but it's fine. I told them about this and if they won't accept it wholeheartedly then I'm cool with it." he reasons out, stopping for a moment, "I also don't wanna do it anymore, anyways." he added.

Mihawk chuckles sarcastically, he shakes his head.

"You don't?" he asks in disbelief, "I hope you don't let your little girlfriend get into this, Chanyeol. Especially if you obviously want this more than anything." he remarked before walking away to leave. Chanyeol tried hard not be bothered. Although he sat on the same posture for a couple of minutes, with a mind full of thoughts.  
  
  
  


Chanyeol spent the rest of the weekend at the gym. Working out becomes a hobby of him now. He doesn't feel like staying home for too long since unwelcomed thoughts are the last thing he wants.

As soon as he got out of the shower, his phone vibrated with an expected call. He picked it up to answer as he continued drying out his hair with the towel.

"Baby!" a familiar sweet voice calls, "how are you?" he smiled as he held the phone on his other ear.

"I'm good, my love." he responds, he could hear her slight giggle from the other line that made him chuckle, "how about you?" he remained topless as he sat at the nearest chair.

"Good as ever!" she exclaims, "where are you?"

"Oh, I'm at the gym. I just finished working out and I'm about to go home." Chanyeol answered as he started finding his plain white shirt inside his gym bag.

"Oooooh working out you are" she teases, "working out for who?" she playfully asked before laughing.

Chanyeol's deep laugh echoed within the room. He can't get this big smile out of his face as he hears continuous teasing and sweet-talking from Shein. She continued telling a lot of stories until Chanyeol reached his car. He suddenly remembered something that he felt he needs to ask.

"By the way, love," he starts off, "Uh, Baekhyun's there right? Have you guys met already?" he asked casually.

Shein suddenly became speechless for a while. Chanyeol didn't notice this because he's busy starting the engine. It took him a while to notice his suddenly quiet girlfriend.

"Love?" he called.

"Oh." she says, as if startled, "Yeah... yeah of course, we met the other day actually..." she said, telling too little details. Chanyeol seemed to expect for more.

"And?" he asked again.

Shein laughs differently, she seemed to be uncomfortable talking about it. Chanyeol creased his brows in curiosity.

"The usual. We went out, bond like cousins do. He told me a lot of stories. That's it." she says with finality. "Anyway, how's work?" she suddenly asked, changing the topic.

Chanyeol remains feeling bizarre. There are still a lot of questions in his mind about Baekhyun but he chose to shrug it off when he remembered his girlfriend's question.

"It's fine." he answers, "the workload can be insane sometimes but it's fine. The people are nice and I'm starting to like it." he slightly smiled when he remembered some jokes that his co-workers tell every day.

Shein becomes silent again. It took a few seconds before she spoke.

"Do you think you can resign soon, Yeol?" she asked in a low voice.

Chanyeol was taken aback by the sudden question. For a moment, he wanted to ask if she's serious to make sure, but he knows Shein.

"What?" he asks, astonished. "You want me to quit my job?"

"I mean..." she trails off, finding the right words, "You can't work there forever. And it's very unlikely for you to do an office work―" Chanyeol doesn't understand what she's saying. He thought she's fine by this and now she's saying otherwise.

"Wait." he cuts her off, "I thought you're fine with this? I thought we already decided that I'm gonna start working on my own now?" he started arguing.

"I know..." she replies, "But you didn't want this right? You said before that you don't see yourself doing off―" she reasoned out.

"And I just told you seconds ago that I'm starting to like it!" Chanyeol's voice raised as frustration builds inside of him.

"Don't yell at me!" Shein exclaimed.

Chanyeol started breathing heavily.

"I don't understand you." he said. He knows where this is going.

"I just realized that there's no point working there. Or at least find other companies that offer jobs nearer your interest. Don't push yourself into something you don't want." she said.

"You pushed me into this." Chanyeol scoffs, he didn't notice his changing tone to his once favorite person. "And now?" he asked in disbelief.

"Baby, please." she pleaded, thinking she can make the other surrender.

"No." he declared.

"Chanyeol!" he noticed how Shein is now going impatient as she calls him with his name. She's used to getting whatever she wants in a snap, especially from Chanyeol. But right now? Chanyeol grows tired of it.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is this all about." he answered grimly.

"I'm just saying what I think is good for you!" her voice broke as she fails to convince the guy.

"Good?" he grumbles. He sighed. He just wants to end this conversation. It's a good thing that he can still focus on the road. He tried calming himself before talking again, "Fine. Can I go back to the band then?"

The question obviously left her dumbfounded. Chanyeol wants to let her know that she's leaving him with no other option. Either good or bad for him, she doesn't want it! That's what Chanyeol is thinking. And in the end, he doesn't get a proper reason and explanation why.

"Why would you want to go back there?" she asked insensibly.

As if moving with the vehicle, his emotions burst as his car stopped because of traffic, "Because that's what I've always wanted! You know how music has been my life ever since and I stopped it because you told me to!" he madly blurted out.

"Yeol." Shein calls in a serious voice, "You know how the band got you in so much trouble. And besides, the others are not good influence! Don't tell me that you're planning to go back because I'm telling you, it will not do you any good." she argued once again, still not giving a more sensical reason.

Chanyeol gave up. He doesn't have any idea how he can tolerate this conversation any longer. He smiled bitterly as he continued driving, phone still on his ear.

"Then what's left for me to do then?" he chuckled bitterly. He can feel a lump in his throat, his grip on the steering wheel hardened as he tries to hold back unwanted feelings.

Before she could even reply and once again tell him what to do with his life, he chose to end the call, "I'll just call you again tomorrow. I'm tired." he said before throwing his phone carelessly on the other seat. 

And for another moment in his life, he felt unsure about a lot of things.  
  


x

"Fuck this," Chanyeol sighs as he quickly runs to his car. His thick coat doesn't seem to be enough to keep him warm. It's officially the start of Winter. It's almost 8AM but it's still a little dimmed because of too much snow, "Aaaaaah." he groaned as soon as he got inside his car, he almost couldn't feel his face because of too much cold. He turned the heater on before driving.

He decided to move on from the conversation the other night because he doesn't need any more stress. He also decided to eventually let go of the band. He realized that going back is probably not a good idea anymore since they actually hate him. And he's gonna give this to Shein since he doesn't want any arguments anymore. But one thing he's certain is that he won't resign from his current job. A decision that he knows will make Shein more aggravated.

Oh well.

As he entered the office, he was welcomed by a lot of greetings, "Morning!" he replied back to each of them. And although he's quite used to not having anyone beside his cubicle for a week now, he still took a quick glance on it. It is still the same. The things on the table remain untouched.

He started working casually. The office seemed to be in a calmer aura compared to the last week's. Probably because the major project is almost done. It seemed more quiet now that his noisy co-workers are not around or very busy. Very unusual as it seems to fit the cold winter mood.

Chanyeol is almost done with his morning work as he decided to take a break and grab an early lunch. He was in the middle of turning his laptop off when he heard some light and running footsteps.

"Aish! You're so naughty!" he heard someone say, "you keep bothering Appa! I told you to just sit there!" he recognize the voice as Woonyoung's. One of his middle-aged coworker.

Just as he was about to take a look who's Woonyoung is scolding, he was faced by a very small kid holding a Ukelele. He immediately smiles at the kid, but it takes a step back as if he was frightened by his perfect set of teeth. He then changes his smile into a kid-friendly one.

"Minjae!" Woonyoung's scolding face straightened as he saw Chanyeol talking to the small boy. The taller was on his knees to level his height with the kid, although he still towers over him.

"Ah, Chanyeol!" he smiled sheepishly and Chanyeol smiled back, the kid motioned his eyes between his father and the creepy handsome stranger.

"This kid... I really need to go to the bathroom and you had me running after you! Aish, I told Eomma not to let you come with me." he continued scolding the kid and motions it to come with him but the kid remained blankly staring at Chanyeol.

"Uh..." Chanyeol laughs at this, "I think you should go to the bathroom first. I'll look after him." he suggested.

"Really? Aren't you busy? I can just carry him..." Woonyoung shyly said.

"No, it's fine. I'm on a break actually." he volunteered. Woonyoung thanked him before rushing to the bathroom. He looks like he really needs to pee because of the expression he makes.

Chanyeol is left with the kid still staring at him. The Ukelele even seemed to be just as big as he is that made him extra cuter while hugging it with both his arms. Chanyeol chuckled.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Am I handsome?" he teases the kid, probably trying to praise himself as well, "Ah, I know. I know it. Don't worry you'll grow to be handsome like me, but now you're just cute." he continued talking to the child who still doesn't answer.

"Do you know how to play this?" he points the Ukelele. He smiled as the kid shook his head in response. "Can I borrow?" he asked as he held the Ukelele before the kid eventually lets it go.

He casually strums the small guitar with a tune he remembered. The sound was executed perfectly. The kid had his mouth opened in amazement. Chanyeol laughed at this before closing his eyes to continue strumming.

The sliding door near his station beeped open but it was unnoticed as his attention remained on playing the Ukelele. The kid's amazed expression shifted into an amused one. He was smiling widely as he watches Chanyeol playing a song he recognized from the kiddie movie he watched with Eomma and Appa.

When Chanyeol finished, he opened his eyes to see the kid's bright smile, flashing his set of baby teeth. Chanyeol chuckled before patting the kid's head.

"Want another?" he asked. The kid joyfully nodded his head, expecting Chanyeol to play another song again.

He smiled, he strummed the guitar strings more gently as he stared at the kid to remember another song he knows the kid will like. And he's right, the kid gasped and slightly squealed while it jumped to the tune. He laughed and closed his eyes again to remember the chords. He continued the varying tunes for a few seconds before opening his eyes.

As he strummed the last tune, he saw the kid joyfully anticipating him. And behind him, well, a guy with his arms crossed over his chest. He watches Chanyeol with his right brow raised, his lip curved into a lopsided grin. His eyes though, unreadable. Chanyeol's smile faded, he blinked.

Byun Baekhyun.

As much as he wants to look at the kid jumping in excitement, his eyes remained on the person behind the kid. With his look, Baekhyun seemed to be gone for the whole year. He's wearing a black woven sweatshirt. His black hair is now brown, styled in messy locks. His eye makeup fits the grin he does. The piercing on his left ear didn't escape Chanyeol's eye. 

He immediately closed his opened mouth.

"Woah," the familiar voice gasps, Baekhyun nods his head as he pursed his lips, "I'm impressed." his lips curved again.

Chanyeol cleared his throat as he looks back to the kid. He sighed and breathed as if he forgot to do it for a few seconds.

"Here. There's Appa! You should go to him now." he points Woonyoung while handing out the Ukelele. Minjae shook his head, wanting more songs from Chanyeol, "I'll play for you again later, promise. Go on." he smiled before the pouting kid returns to his Appa.

When the kid is nowhere his sight, he turned to Baekhyun, who's still watching him. He stood up as he feel more conscious.

"What?" Chanyeol snapped at the staring guy.

"You're owning that look, Yeol." even the tone of his voice doesn't seem usual, "I'm loving it."

"Look? What look?" Chanyeol asked curiously. 

Baekhyun playfully shrugged."I don't know... Daddy?" he grins, "you look so Daddy." he casually said as if it's the most normal thing to say. Chanyeol almost choked. 

His forehead creased more. He looked at Baekhyun as if he doesn't know what the hell is the other talking about. 

"When did you learn to play that stuff?" he asked when Chanyeol didn't answer. 

"It's called Ukelele." Chanyeol snaps that made Baekhyun roll his eyes. Despite the conversation getting longer, he still couldn't move on from the fact that something in Baekhyun changed, "Long time ago. I know how to play a lot of instruments but I must say that guitars are my main forte." he answered, scanning the other's look. 

Baekhyun stares at him again. Chanyeol is starting to get annoyed because of the thought that maybe there's something on his face. 

"What?" he asked again, looking at the other's forehead to avoid eye contact.

"Electric guitar suits you the best, I must say." Baekhyun looks at him from head to toe as if picturing different images in his mind, "God, how hot is that?" he added while looking up and tapping his finger on his chin.

Chanyeol frowns more. Hearing someone say this hits him harder about the thought of the band he once loved. How the roughness of the strings made him happy in the simplest ways. He pictured the scenario that will probably never happen again. 

How being the simple badass electric guitarist of the band was all he was, and it was just enough. 

Chanyeol gulped at the thought. His gaze soon followed Baekhyun, who's now completely ignoring him to start working. _Byun__Baekhyun_, he thought. _Him and his words._ Says his mind but was soon shrugged off when he realized that it shouldn't bother him. 

Chanyeol started walking away to grab his supposedly early lunch. But he stopped midway when he remembered something. He turned to Baekhyun again. 

"Hey," Chanyeol called, trying hard not to sound awkward. 

Baekhyun looks at him, he lets out a straight smile, as if forced, "hmm?"

"Did you, by any chance, met Shein there?" he asked, as if he hadn't ask his girlfriend about it.

Baekhyun's smile became wider, although his eyes...

Just cold.

"Course." he answers in an instant, "we went out and bond like we usually do." he continuously said. Chanyeol sighed in relief hearing that their stories are somewhat connected. He hasn't even figure out why he wants to make sure in the first place. 

Baekhyun turns his swivel chair sideways to face Chanyeol. He coolly leans on it while his right arm rested on the arm rest. He bites his index finger as he continues watching the taller struggle with his next words, still with the same playfully cold expression.

"Oh...uh, good to know." he stutters, "how is she? Is she eating well?" he asked as if he doesn't know how his girlfriend is doing despite of the everyday video call. Maybe the question isn't correctly constructed.

Baekhyun laughs. He even shook his head as if he finds the question really funny."Don't worry, Yeol. She's healthy and alive." he says while nodding his head, his expression is somewhat amused, "she's got so much love. A lot of people love her actually. So yeah, she's having the best time don't worry." he said. He even emphasized that "a lot" as his eyes opened a little wider. 

"Oh...that's good." Chanyeol answered. He noticed how Baekhyun stared blankly on the floor for a few seconds before looking back at him.

Baekhyun smiles sympathetically at him, although his eyes scream amusement, "Funny how you care so much for her." he directly said to Chanyeol.

The taller noticed this and his brows creased with the smaller's expression."Of course," he answers, his expression implies how the other seemed to make no sense, "she's my girlfriend." he added.

Baekhyun raises his brows before laughing loudly, "Of course!" he exclaims, "I know right." he even shook his head as if his previous statement seemed nonsensical to him.

There was a silence after that. Chanyeol remained standing there for some reason. He badly wants to ask what seems to be his real question, but he couldn't get himself together. Baekhyun looked at him, eyebrows raised, waiting for the other to say something.

"About the..." Chanyeol clears his throat, "the..." he stuttered.

Baekhyun narrows his eyes in curiosity, but after a few seconds his eyes widen as he smiled.

"Ah!" he points his pen to the taller, "now that you mentioned it! The kiss!" he said as if he just remembered a funny story. Chanyeol was taken aback by the other's loud voice, thankfully no one's near them. And he hasn't even mentioned it yet.

"Yeah." Baekhyun even added, Chanyeol continued staring at him, waiting. The other seemed to be in a deep thought while still smiling like something's very amusing.

"Yeah, what about it?" Chanyeol asked when he figured out that Baekhyun had no plans of talking about it further.

"Well..." Baekhyun starts off, he stares at Chanyeol, lips pursed as if he monitors the other's expression, "I got carried away and your lips looked good, that's why I kissed you." Baekhyun reasoned out casually. Chanyeol's forehead immediately creased. The reason was absurd but what does he expect, really? It's Baekhyun.

Chanyeol looks at him in disbelief.

"You do it when you're bored, don't you?" he blurted out. Baekhyun's smile fades off, but he grinned afterwards.

"Yes, I do, actually." Baekhyun nods, Chanyeol wants to chuckle sarcastically, "Listen, Yeol. I'm a really spontaneous person, I do anything that I feel like doing. I don't need a reason for everything. My life basically runs like that." he explained. Chanyeol doesn't even know why the other is calling him 'Yeol' now. Where's the full name basis for formality? Are they even friends?

"Do friends kiss?" Chanyeol unconsciously blurts out, as soon as he realized what he said, he immediately changed it, "Are we even friends?" he repeated, keeping the sudden panic.

Baekhyun's brows raised again, he lets out a chortled laugh. Chanyeol felt irritated when he could feel that the other is totally amused by him. _Nothing's funny, _he thinks.

"Well, I do kiss my friends. If that's what you want to hear. My God, Yeol you're cracking me up!" he said between his laughter.

"You know what? Just forget it," Chanyeol sways his palm as if saying that he needs this to be over, "I just hate it when you do your nasty habits and you're involving me. Can you just kiss your other friends next time?" Chanyeol snapped before starting to walk away. He can still hear Baekhyun trying to suppress his laugh.

"But wait, wait! don't you want to be my friend?" Baekhyun scoffs, Chanyeol looks back and throws him a sharp look, but the other won't budge. Chanyeol feels upset as the other won't take him seriously all this time.

Chanyeol chuckled sarcastically at the question.

"Okay!" Baekhyun playfully exclaims, as if channeling his inner Naomi Lapaglia as he bites the tip of his pen, "Fine, Yeol. We're not gunna be friends." he grinned while still biting the pen. 

Chanyeol didn't even leave the line reference unnoticed. _How unoriginal_, he thought before walking away.  
  
  
  


"I'm gonna fucking kill her!" Heechul angrily screamed. His hoarse voice was eaten up by the loud music. Ji eun didn't speak but her face looks like she's controlling herself from cursing too.

"Baek! Let me go to Japan and end that bitch!" Heechul added, he gritted his teeth in anger. Baekhyun, on the other side, seemed to be more relaxed. He moved on from it. Or maybe not, but he just doesn't let it affect him that much anymore.

"You'll just waste your clean hands with her dirty blood, don't bother." Baekhyun took a sip of his Martini. He glanced at Ji eun on his side, who's worriedly looking at him.

"Baek, does it hurt?" she asked, gently touching the slightly visible purple mark on the side of Baekhyun's right eye. Baekhyun moved his head away.

"No." he directly answered, denying the little pang he felt when it was tapped.

"Oh, Baek." Ji eun sighs, obviously not buying it, "What are you planning to do then?" she asked. Baekhyun keeps his eyes on the bunch of people on the dance floor.

"I found a little apartment in Euljiro. It's a little far from the office but it's fine. The place is good." he said. He felt uncomfortable seeing his friends look at him with their sympathetic eyes. This is why he hates opening up to people, he ends up looking like a helpless little puppy. He hates it so much.

"I'm fine. Don't look at me like that." he snapped at the two of them.

"How about Chanyeol?" Ji eun asks, Baekhyun got more annoyed, "Will you still tell him?"

He smiles sarcastically as if he finds the question ridiculous.

"Let the witch handle him, it's her life." he simply answered.

Baekhyun went to Japan to personally talk to Shein. He knows that he may still fix things if they talk in person. After that night, he had the strong urge to tell Chanyeol the truth. But being the decent person he was, he decided to at least just make Shein tell him about it. After all, it's their relationship.

They met there. But Baekhyun didn't expect Shein to even bring Joohyuk with her. He wants to get mad but he prioritized his main agenda to talk to her calmly. He thought he can convince her, tell her that Chanyeol doesn't deserve this. But the other refused. That's when their heated argument started. When he got home after 2 days, he found his place in a wreck. He found his belongings on the floor, like some hurricane happened. But what haunt him the most was seeing a bunch of big men in his room. He knew very very well that they were sent by his father. And well, as anyone can tell what happened, the usual issue rose as he was basically beaten up by the old man's goons.

He had the idea about who probably told his father about his whereabouts. But he refused to conclude in an instant. _Maybe he found me on his own, _he thought. _Maybe she isn't that completely psycho to do this, _he continued convincing himself. But the voice message he received later that night put all the physical pain he was feeling into shame.

_"That's what you get for meddling with my life, _ _Baek_ _. Next time, mind your own business and let me fix my own problem." _

He bitterly smiled while holding his phone on his ear. His hand was shaking hardly as it tapped the fresh wounds on his face. He hopelessly looked around the convenience store with nothing but his phone and few bills. He can't even walk properly, leaving him with no choice but to spend the night in the secluded convenience store to tend his wounds.

His lip almost bled with how he hardly bit his lips. His eyes were bloodshot red as tears pooled in them. He also had a hard time breathing making him clutch his chest.

"_Oh my God! What happened to you? Dear, you should go to the hospital!"_ a concerned old woman noticed him as he continued shaking, the little girl with the woman looked at him with sympathy, the kind of look he despised.

He looked straight back at her.

_This will be the last fucking time._

"Speaking of the devil," Heechul pointed at the entrance of the bistro. Baekhyun snapped out of his deep thoughts to look at the pointed direction. He raises his right brow as his gaze follows the familiar figure, _look at Park fucking __Chanyeol__, _he cussed in his mind.

"What the fuck? Is he wearing a leather jacket? And his hair is styled in comma!" Ji eun squeals, "your bitch of a cousin Shein surely doesn't know what she's missing!" she added as she continued drooling at him. Baekhyun noticed how the other people also turned around to look at him. Although Chanyeol, being oblivious as usual, doesn't seem to notice. Baekhyun grins.

"Why is he here?" Heechul asks in a sassy tone, "If I find out he's here to bang some other girl then I'm totally fine with it." he raised his brows. Baekhyun pursed his lips, he doesn't think so.

Chanyeol leaned on the counter, the two girls beside him casually turn around to face him, giving flirty smiles. They shared an embarrassed eye contact when Chanyeol avoided them and seemed to be uninterested. Baekhyun wanted to laugh. His friends started to talk about some other things but he continued watching the other guy. Chanyeol seemed lost while he roams his eyes around the bistro before looking at the main stage, as if waiting for something.

"Look look look who we have there!" Jin, one of their annoying diva officemates shrieks as he excitedly sat on the couch, obviously drunk. His finger moves in gentle circular motion while pointing where Chanyeol is, he even licked his lips, "Gosh, he's so fucking hot isn't he?! Why is he straight?!" he circled his arm around Ji eun's neck making the latter irritably moved her head away.

"And oh," he giddily looks at Baekhyun, "the famous Byun Baekhyun seems to be quiet these past few days, no new victim?" he scoffed. Baekhyun though, doesn't seem to be interested. Jin has always been jealous of him, and everyone knows that. That's why he annoys Baekhyun every time he can, probably his way of satisfying his own ego.

Jin chuckled when Baekhyun didn't answer. He dismissed Ji eun and Heechul shooing him away as he continued provoking Baekhyun, "And they say you're the best? Come on!" he mockingly laughed. Baekhyun remained staring at him sarcastically.

"Why? No, it's true!" Jin says as Ji eun looks at him with warning and whispers things Baekhyun can't even hear, "Fine, fine. I'll just dare ya." he points at Baekhyun again. Heechul and Ji eun are now glaring at him but Baekhyun still looks bored, "Kiss Chanyeol then. And I'll believe that you're the supreme of us all." Jin laughed like a maniac, probably thinking that Baekhyun couldn't do it.

"Shut the hell up, Jin!" Heechul snaps, "Baekhyun doesn't need to prove that―"

"Done."

Ji eun loudly gasped with her friend's answer. Jin's smug smile faded.

"Just a kiss?" Baekhyun says again, "done." he breathed out as if it's easy as pie.

The other three doesn't seem to catch it immediately. Heechul cleared his throat.

"See? You even had the guts to dare Baekhyun!" he laughed, probably thinking that Baekhyun is joking.

Jin smiled, but an annoyed one.

"Suck him, then!" he challenged, grinning daringly. The alcohol in his system seemed to be gone.

Heechul nervously looks at the both of them, feeling the building tension.

"Done." Ji eun covered her mouth with her palm. As much as she wants to think that it's a joke to simply annoy Jin, she knows Baekhyun too well.

Jin fell silent. His breathing gets faster. Baekhyun badly wants to grin at him but he doesn't want to provoke the drunk guy.

"Liar!" Jin shouted.

"Ask him then." Baekhyun simply answered. He knows that this will pull all the triggers. Giving Jin the choice to figure it out himself only means that there's no point lying.

His two friends are now silent. They can't seem to process everything.

"I underestimated you..." Jin chuckles in disbelief, Baekhyun crossed his arms and raised his brows to the former, Jin gulps as he looked at Chanyeol from the far distance before going back to Baekhyun.

"Did you have sex?" he asks. Baekhyun kept his mouth shut, although he didn't show panic, he didn't know what to say.

Jin noticed this and smirked as he finally found his alas, "Ooooh, you haven't? Nasty Baekhyun!" he exclaims excitedly, "Kiss and suck but no sex, huh?" he clicked his tongue. Baekhyun just shrugged but he knows too well what the other will say next.

"Fuck him then, Baekhyun." Jin widely smiles, "show us you're the ultimate supremo!" he laughed loudly, anticipating Baekhyun to surrender.

Ji eun and Heechul remained speechless, they also don't know what their friend is planning.

"Okay." Baekhyun simply answered. His two friends are now jaw-dropped. Jin became more anxious with Baekhyun not showing any weakness for the whole conversation. He started blabbering things that they couldn't understand. Ji eun needed to call his friends to fetch him and go away from them. Although a thing for sure is that jealousy ate him up.

Because, who doesn't want to fuck Park Chanyeol?

Even after Jin left, the three of them seem to find it hard initiating a conversation. Ji eun and Heechul shared secret glances to each other, while Baekhyun stared at the guy on the far distance.

"That bitch," Heechul awkwardly starts off, "obviously he's jealous because a lot of people want you and his rotten ass couldn't take the envy anymore. Don't let it get in to you, Baek." he continuously said.

"I don't." Baek answered.

"God, you're fast with the comebacks!" Ji eun added, trying to lighten the atmosphere though she sounds so forced. Baekhyun just smiled at her, not wanting to spoil the thought that he's just joking, cause he's not.

"Y-you didn't...I mean..." Ji eun stuttered, Heechul stared at his face.

"I did, actually." another instant answer made them blink in surprise.

"Fuck..." he hears Heechul curse, "Baek, if you're thinking about what Jin said then don't. He's just joking and he's drunk!"

Baekhyun looks them, completely amused by their panic, "It's just sex?" he said that made the two share panicking glances again, "What's wrong with that?"

"Baek!" Ji eun squealed in fear.

"You said you'll let Shein handle Chanyeol!" Heechul exclaimed. The name seemed to be a trigger for sudden decisions.

"Did I?" he scoffs, pretending to be surprised, "Okay, I'll rephrase. Then I'll let Shein and _I, _handle him." he said before sipping his Martini.  
  



	9. 8-Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Coldplay - Fix You******

"Where are you going?" the both of them panicked when Baekhyun stood up from his seat, "Baek, stop! You can't be serious with this!" Ji eun blocks his way when they figure out where he's about to head.

"What?" Baekhyun snaps, "Calm down, hoes. I'm just gonna talk to him, it's not like I'll get on my knees that fast!" he rolled his eyes as his friends loosen up a bit.

Unable to stop Baekhyun, Jieun and Heechul remain on their table, nervously watching their friend as he continued walking to the head-turner giant.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, has his whole attention to the main stage where two girls are performing a pop song. Although it seems like he's watching them intently, his true attention is somewhere on the people around the stage. He noticed someone walking towards him from his peripheral vision. Turning his head to look, he saw Baekhyun, his eyes widen a bit. His gaze moved from the other's head to toe. Baekhyun is gloriously walking there with his brown messy locks and intense eye makeup, two buttons of his shirt are opened and his tight leather skinny jeans embraces his lower body well. Chanyeol frowned by seeing him, although his nervous gulp went unnoticed.

"Yeol!" Baekhyun flashes his usual smug smile at the frowning guy, "Should I be surprised again?! We're on the same damn bar!" he said in a loud voice to be heard from the loud music. Chanyeol rolled his eyes before returning his gaze to the main stage. He doesn't have the time for Byun Baekhyun's bullshit tonight.

Chanyeol hears Baekhyun click his tongue in amusement when he didn't respond. Baekhyun follows the other's gaze and looks at the main stage as well, "Who are you looking at?" he asked, slightly tiptoeing because of his height. Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun's hand on his leg as the other unconsciously used him as a guide to tiptoe. He didn't remove it though.

"Wait, the two girls?" Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol making the latter quickly look away from his hand. He didn't catch this so he creased his forehead.

"No. I'm just waiting for a friend. Now can you please―" he got cut off when Baekhyun intriguingly whispered.

"Oooh, does Shein know about this?" he teased, anticipating the taller's reaction. But he just frowned at him more.

"Yes." he lies, "now can you please go away?" Chanyeol snapped out of annoyance, as if he doesn't want to be seen with the guy.

"But we just started talking!" Baekhyun pouted as he sat beside Chanyeol.

"You know what? Forget it," he stands up as the other looks at him in awe, "I'm leaving."

"Whyyyyy!!" Baekhyun protests in an annoying whiny voice, "You just came here!"

"Yeah, but my friend isn't here anymore so I'm going home." Chanyeol answered sternly.

"Oh? Then we can just talk!" Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol looks at him.

"No thanks, the worst days of my life happened when we end up in the same bar so no." Chanyeol snapped before leaving. Baekhyun's jaw dropped but he immediately grinned as he followed Chanyeol's back with his gaze, remembering those worst days he said. Despite of the short and unproductive conversation, Baekhyun is loving the chase.

He remains sitting at the bar where they talked. After a few minutes, two guys walk passed him. And as Baekhyun noticed, they were roaming their gazes around the bistro too. Baekhyun looks away, although his curiosity strikes again.

"I think he left." he overheard one of them say. He glances on them every now and then, still keeping it concealed.

"I told you we should've gone here way earlier!" the same guy blames the other, "I know we have issues but to keep the person waiting?"

"He wanted to talk to us, it's not our fault if he couldn't wait longer." the other coldly says. Baekhyun takes a look at him. As if coincidence, they caught each other's eyes. Baekhyun, although surprised, kept it cool by smiling to him, he didn't smile back though. His cold stare left Baekhyun as he walks away to leave the bistro, the other one following him with an exhausted look.

_Maybe they're the friends. _Baekhyun thought to himself. It makes sense. They were looking for someone who's probably Chanyeol. What he couldn't understand is the way the other talked. But he avoided getting deeper with the thought, as he wasn't even sure if he's correct. He shrugged, still couldn't move on from the fact that he wasn't able to use his famous beam to the guy. Despite being uncertain of their connection, Baekhyun can be absolute about one thing.

What's with Chanyeol and his friends that they can be hot and cold at the same damn time?

  
  
x

"Godammit!" Chanyeol growls, his voice is now hoarse, "Just fucking do it!"

"Feisty, impatient, Chanyeol." the other says, his breath hitched as he felt the other grinding on his groin like he's a fucking motorcycle, "You want me to bounce my ass up and down here, hmm? Or you want me to gag on your length first? Tell me. Tell your little slave what to do." the pain on his growing bulge made it harder for him to talk. He groaned.

"Suck me first," he dares, letting off a dirty smile to compete with the other, "then I'll let you ride me like a fucking whore you are." he snarled erotically, the other laughed.

In an instant, he had his erected shaft held by the other's very delicate hand. The kind of hand that seems to be far from doing this kind of filthy action. He moaned. He badly wanna suck those fingers. Suck them in his mouth while he fuck the other senselessly.

"Suck you first then," the other replied, leaning down to take him into places he can never go with anyone else.  


"Shit." he breathed heavily as he sat on his bed. He roamed his widely opened eyes around his dark room. There's no sign of light from the outside that made him conclude that he woke in a middle of an ungodly hour. He wiped the sweat on his forehead as he looked down on his growing tent.

_What the hell was that?_ He asks himself. He just had a bad dream, but he couldn't remember. Although the bulge formed under his boxers made him think that it might be something sexual. An odd nocturnal emission at 2AM.

"Great." he hissed as he stood up and walk to the bathroom to solve his growing problem. Why is he having a hard-on in the middle of the night? It will totally make sense if he could remember, but he doesn't.

But it wasn't about his girlfriend. That's for sure.  


It's almost 10 in the evening but the bistro is just starting to gain more people going inside. Baekhyun remained leaning on the brick walls outside, denying the fact that he really should go inside because he may not take the cold air anymore. He exhales a visible smoke of cold air through his mouth as he observes the people casually going in and out the bistro.

He doesn't even know why the hell he's there.

Yes, he also takes some night outs alone without his two friends but to go in the same bistro for three consecutive nights? It's not really his thing given that he wants something new to try every time. This time though, it's different.

He wants to know something. And maybe he's got so much time to spare.

After a few minutes, Baekhyun finds it hard to blink because of so much coldness. He also got tired of sniffing too much that's why he decided to finally go inside to warm himself up. _Dying in cold isn't really worth the information_, he thought. He started walking towards the entrance when he sees a familiar guy walking the same way just a few steps ahead of him.

"Chanyeol?"

The guy, wearing a black hoodie and casual ripped jeans turns around to look at him. Baekhyun's face remained looking bothered as his face continues cringing from too much cold. Chanyeol, despite feeling the same way, can't help but wanting to laugh. But he kept his face serious because of another coincidence of bumping into each other (outside office) again.

"Why are you here?" his deep voice stood out from the noise outside.

"Gosh, I can't take this anymore!" Baekhyun exclaimed as he ignored the other's question and runs quickly to the entrance. Chanyeol had no other chance but to follow. He stood at the entrance of the bistro, keeping his face hidden with his hoodie as he shakes off the snow from his shoulders. His eyes followed the whining guy inside, wondering what the hell is he doing there again. He roamed his gaze around the bistro to see if Baekhyun is with someone, but soon figures out that the latter is alone.

Right then, he sees Baekhyun waving his hand to him and motioning him to go there. He immediately shakes his head. Well first, the table is too close to the stage. And of course, why would he join Baekhyun? Chanyeol wants to be trouble-free for at least tonight.

He saw the other creasing his forehead when he refused to go there. Although his thought all went to drain when he noticed that there is no table left. The bistro is full-packed and Baekhyun must've used his charm to get the table again. He looks at Baekhyun again, only to find him watching and waiting for him to notice this dilemma. As soon as Chanyeol looks back at him, he shrugged his shoulders and smiled as if clearly implying that the guy has no other choice.

Baekhyun watches Chanyeol walking his way to the table in defeat. He's getting amused with the fact that the taller seems to have no plans in taking off his hoodie from covering his face, but he chose not to talk as the other is obviously not in the mood. When the silence starts kicking in, he decided to get into his main agenda.

"Why are you here again?" he asked Chanyeol, who seems to be very conscious with the people passing by beside him.

"I should ask the same with you," Chanyeol narrows his eyes, "Why are you here again?"

Baekhyun wants to laugh when his own question goes back to him.

"For a regular customer, it's not a surprise for me to come back. I even got a table in a snap." he raised his brows and points a finger to Chanyeol, "Now you my friend, has been going back here for quite some time this week. Why?" he said.

"Were you following me?" Chanyeol asks back again, "And I told you, we're not friends. And why are you asking so much about me? Why are you so curious―"

"If you just simply answered the basic question then we should've been done." Baekhyun snapped. He saw how Chanyeol's face flashed this annoyed look but immediately faded off as they hear the sound system being tested at the stage. He noticed as the other goes back to consciously covering his face again.

Baekhyun turned to look at the stage then back to Chanyeol. He doesn't fully understand why the latter keeps on covering his face as if he's hiding from someone.

"You know what? I'll just get out o―" before Chanyeol could even escape again, Baekhyun cuts him off.

"Do you really want this to reach my cousin?" he threatened. He noticed how the other immediately went back to his seat, taken aback by what he said.

"Don't tell her." Chanyeol immediately said.

"I'm just asking, Chanyeol." Baekhyun responds, "Who knows? Maybe you're meeting other girls here without her knowing. You know she's my cousin and that's the last thing I want." he said. Deep inside he wants to puke for accusing Chanyeol of cheating when in fact his cousin is the unfaithful wench.

_Okay for a little piece of information, I'm gonna glorify your image, Shein._ Baekhyun thought.

Chanyeol shook his head, not knowing how he should explain this. In the end, he decided to tell the truth.

"No! No―it's just...I'm.." he stutters before sighing, "The band playing tonight is my―well, my former band. They told me to go here if I'd like to come back but..." he hesitated. Baekhyun looks at him, waiting for him to continue.

"But what?" he asks, looking back at the stage, "then go! They're about to start. Why are you still sitting here, idiot." Baekhyun exclaimed. He felt a little excitement knowing that he'll see Chanyeol performing for the first time. He thinks that he may have something to mock the other with.

Chanyeol glared at the offensive title but shook his head right after, "No, you don't understand."

"What?" Baekhyun asked curiously.

"I don't wanna come back." Chanyeol said.

"Huh?" Baekhyun scrunches his face with the other's contradicting statement, "then why the hell are you here?"

"I just..." he doesn't know what to answer without being obvious, "I just wanna watch them." he said in a low voice.

Baekhyun creased his forehead. He doesn't understand.

"Then why are you hiding like a thief?" he asked in disbelief.

Chanyeol didn't answer. He doesn't want to talk about this anymore. But when Baekhyun leaned to him and tried to take off his hoodie, he flinched and moved away.

"What the fuck!" he cussed.

"You look stupid. Take that off!"

"I don't want them to see me, okay?!" he snaps, "I just don't want them to get the wrong idea." he reasoned out.

Baekhyun wasn't able to comprehend all of this.

First of all, it's stupid. Why would he come here every night if he doesn't want to come back? Just to watch? That's ridiculous. Baekhyun isn't convinced. And besides, Chanyeol doesn't seem to be the type of person to back out from this. Given that he obviously love playing guitars when he first saw him at the office (and how some of their office mates talk about it).

_Unless_.

Baekhyun stares at the guy in front of him, who's looking at the stage and couldn't even hide that anticipation through his hoodie.

"Shein." Baekhyun mumbled.

Chanyeol looks at him behind his hoodie, "huh?"

"Shein doesn't want this..." Baekhyun mutters as he started to figure it out, "does she?"

Chanyeol looks straight at him this time, his face in awe.

"No..." he denied, although too late to convince the other.

Baekhyun shook his head. He looked away from Chanyeol's eyes and moved his gaze to the stage. Although his mind was filled with thoughts.

But one thing Baekhyun couldn't shrug off is the fact that Shein is again, for the nth fucking time, the sole person responsible for this. As time passes by, he becomes more aware of his cousin's true colors. He didn't know how he managed to cope up with her level of depravity.

Not only cheating on his boyfriend but also depriving him the thing he loves doing. _How messed up is that?_ Baekhyun thought.

"Ehem..." someone cleared his throat as the sound from the microphone echoed within the walls of the bistro. The attention of the audience is now in the center. Baekhyun roamed his eyes around the place only to realize how many people went here to watch them. They must be good, Baekhyun thinks.

He looked at the stage to see four people standing up behind the instruments. The two of them, just as he thought, were the two people he saw a few nights ago. The other one behind the drums, while the cold guy was the one speaking on the microphone.

"Hello, I'm Kris." he greets with a small smile, "thank you for coming tonight, this is our last night playing at this bistro. I hope you all enjoy the songs." the crowd clapped and cheered with excitement. Baekhyun noticed how the guy's eyes look around the bistro as if he's looking for someone while he was talking. Well, he isn't that stupid and naive to not know who he's looking for. He looks at the guy in front of him who's still keeping his head down and his face covered.

Baekhyun looks at the stage again only to have eye contact with the other guy he saw last night who's now seated behind the drums. He saw how the guy's eyes narrowed at him as if he recognized him from somewhere, but Baekhyun goes back to his initial plan. He smiles at the guy who awkwardly smiles back at him. Then that's when he points the guy in front of him with his lips.

The guy creased his forehead as if he doesn't understand what Baekhyun is trying to say. Baekhyun continuously points his lips to Chanyeol but the guy doesn't seem to get it because Chanyeol's face is hidden behind the hoodie.

"Unfortunately..." there's a hint of disappointment in the vocalist's voice as he continued smiling at the crowd, "Our lead guitarist is still sick so I'll be taking his place again. But please don't expect." he said and the crowd laughed. Baekhyun starts to lose his hope as the dumb drummer still won't get his message.

That's where he leans at Chanyeol to aggressively take his hoodie off. Chanyeol jumps in surprise and horror when he realized that his face is now exposed. He stares at Baekhyun with eyes wide open as he was taken aback by the other's sudden sabotage.

"Hyung?" Baekhyun heard the drummer called. He looks at Chanyeol with eyes widely opened too. Baekhyun smiled at his successful plan, and just as he was about to tell Chanyeol to perform, he noticed how the vocalist saw Chanyeol as well. In short, the whole band now knew that their "sick" guitarist is here.

Chanyeol wants to curse Baekhyun, who's now sitting with his arms crossed, grinning as he anticipates him to stand up. But he knew he doesn't have a choice. Either he play or he refuse and humiliate himself and the whole band. He knew he has to stick to the lesser damage.

The crowd fell silent with the band's sudden hesitation. The whole band is still staring at Chanyeol, torn between being surprised with his presence and with not knowing what to do next.

Chanyeol stares back at Kris. He looks at him in defeat before smiling sheepishly to lighten up the mood. Kris though, remained seriously looking at him, as if asking what he's up to. Chanyeol's smile fades as he noticed the band waiting for him if he'll join them to perform. He had no choice but to sigh in defeat. Kris curtly nodded before glancing back to the crowd.

"Sorry. Turns out the guitarist is here for our last night. We'll play a different and better set tonight, I hope you enjoy." he simply said before looking at Chanyeol again. The crowd started mumbling as this will be the first time for them to see the guitarist.

"Go!" Baekhyun stirs up, Chanyeol continued glaring at him but the former paid no attention to it as he continued, "Go on!!!" he yelled at Chanyeol who's slowly standing up from his seat. Baekhyun could hear the buzzing sound from the crowd as they eyed Chanyeol. The taller's get up is obviously less extravagant than the rest of the members with his plain black ripped jeans and black Supreme hooded sweatshirt, but he wasn't left out in terms of face value. People started talking about what in the world is this band to comprise such talented and another-level-of-hot members.

Chanyeol awkwardly walks to the stage. The audience sense the awkwardness too making them watch the stage scenario very intently. The only person who's almost squealing on his seat because of his accomplished agenda is none other than Baekhyun himself. The members watch Chanyeol, their jaws still dropped, except for Kris who's coldly staring at him while picking up an instrument.

"Here," he hands a maroon velvet colored electric guitar to Chanyeol including an earpiece, "Get your shit together and do your job, Chanyeol. Even just for tonight." he said.

Chanyeol gulped with this remark, he almost forgot the fact that they're still not in good terms, "Kris, I―"

"For fuck's sake, Chanyeol." Kris hisses as he moves away from the mic, "they're waiting. Forget your absurd reasons and don't leave us hanging again." he threw Chanyeol a sharp look that made the latter nod in defeat, he does the same with the other members so they would all go back to their senses.

"Set 3. Let's do it. You remember it, right?" he turns to Chanyeol again. Chanyeol nodded and Kris signaled with his index finger, the members nodded, "Start it off." he ordered Chanyeol and the one on the keys.

Chanyeol sighs before strumming slowly.

Baekhyun hears the gasps around him, it was followed by an applause from the crowd because of the very smooth opening. He was never fascinated by bands before, he tried watching gigs years ago but it was just not his thing. But at this moment, his smug grin faded when he felt the hair on the back of his neck stood up when he watch the other.

_"When you try your best but you don't succeed..."_

Some people from the crowd even screamed when they recognized the song.

Chanyeol kept his head down to focus on the strings. He felt himself shaking a little because of the amount of people watching, especially since this is his first time for a very long time. He gulped and shrugged off the unnecessary thoughts as he continued.

_"When you get what you want, but not what you need..." _Kris continued singing with his eyes closed. Baekhyun tried to keep his focus on the band and ignore the lyrics, although it keeps entering his head.

_"When you love someone but it goes to waste..."_

_"Could it be worse?"_

Chanyeol starts sweating with the pressure. The song proceeds to the second stanza and he's tries to remember the following chords. He closed his eyes to remember.

_"But if you never try you'll never know, j_ _ust what you're worth..."_

"Fuck this," Baekhyun cussed under his breath. He focused on the squealing group of girls in the corner. He couldn't even listen to the song or look at the stage, just what the hell! That's what he thinks. He started thinking if this is a karma for his sabotage to Chanyeol that's why they coincidentally chose to play this song or his life is just unfortunate in so many levels.

He really tried to avoid watching the performance intently but his focus was soon taken back when the crowd squealedbecause of the guitar break. He unconsciously looks back to the main stage only to see Chanyeol gloriously standing there, his face full of sweat but his eyes remained closed as he rocks the instrumental interlude of the song.

The crowd jammed and banged their heads while the instrumentals got intense. Aside from Chanyeol, the drummer and the keys are now vigorously playing their instruments.

What made the crowd crazier is when Chanyeol walked to the other microphone, to sing the last stanza of the song with the vocalist. His deep voice matched the other like a perfect symphony.

_"Tears stream down your face,"_

Baekhyun can't help but notice how Chanyeol's lips touched the mic while his eyes are closed and his deep voice continues to make the crowd swoon away. He couldn't help but shiver.

How?

How can he have such voice?

_"When you lose something you cannot replace...Tears stream, down your face and I."_

As if Chanyeol hears his thoughts, he opened his eyes, just to directly stare at Baekhyun's. Baekhyun's breath hitched, although he couldn't find himself looking away.

Girls continued squealing when instead of Kris, Chanyeol remained in front of the microphone, finishing the last verse of the song with gentle strumming on the guitar. Baekhyun finds himself clouded with different thoughts and things inside his chest he doesn't even know.

_"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones..."_

_Look away. _Baekhyun whispers under his breath.

But he did not.

_"And I will try, to fix you."_

He remained staring at the same eyes, until the song finished.

The crowd roars with a deafening applause. Some even stood up while clapping. The bistro gained more people inside because of the intriguing band. Especially the newcomer guitarist.

Baekhyun had to quickly go outside the bar. He's partly thankful when his phone rang because of Jieun's call. When he reached outside, he felt the cold breeze of air again. He exhaled a deep breath as if he forgot how to breathe for a few hours.

He finds himself leaning on the same wall he leaned on a few moments ago. His knees felt weak and he doesn't know why.

_"Where are you, Baek?" _she asks, _"I heard Chanyeol's performing at Phoenix's! Some twats are posting pics of him on twitter!" _she added.

Baekhyun remained breathing as if he just finished a marathon, he wasn't able to answer.

_"Baek???" _she calls, _"Are you okay???"_

With this, Baekhyun finds himself laughing. He shook his head while still laughing wholeheartedly despite the fact that Jieun might think he's completely gone mental.

_"Yah!!!"_

"He's..." he starts off as he stopped chuckling but continues shaking his head , "He's terrible..." he muttered while smiling like an idiot.  
  
  


From his usual cold stare, his lips slowly turned into a sick smile.

Chanyeol felt the familiar chills at the back of his neck. Goddamit! This is not right. This is worse than wrong. He thought.

He took a step backward but the other walked towards him. He started shaking his head.

"You know this isn't right, Baekhyun. Stop it." Chanyeol looked at him, trying so hard to look brave but ended up gulping, the other chuckled mockingly.

"Why?" for a moment, he fakes curious tone as if Chanyeol's asking a hilarious question, "I see nothing wrong here, Chanyeol. Aside from you trying to hide that boner, there's nothing much wrong at the moment." he grinned while pointing at the taller's excited member down there.

Chanyeol's jaw clenched. Baekhyun's making this so hard for him. Why can't he just stop?

He lets out a frustrated sigh, "Come on, Chanyeol. No need to restrain yourself."

"Just get the fuck away from me!" he screamed while shaking.

Baekhyun laughs at him before shaking his head with disbelief.

"Because of my cousin, isn't it?" he asks, "Don't worry, she's having so much fun from where she is right now. No need to feel guilty." he said with disgust.

Chanyeol looked at him because of what he said. What does that mean?

Because of so much curiosity, he wasn't able to notice that Baekhyun is now near him. He smiled like he is so amused with Chanyeol's reaction. The latter flinched when his long fingers stroked his cheeks.

"Oh, you know nothing Chanyeol." he smirks, "you're so clueless."

Before Chanyeol knows it, he unconsciously grabbed him with force. He pushed Baekhyun aggressively through the wall. He saw how the smaller's eyes shut close with pain, but he immediately recovered and grinned at him again.

Chanyeol pinned him harder so he'll feel the pain again but he ended up crashing his lips against the other. As soon as their lips touched, it felt like his thirst has been clenched finally. _Shit_. He wanted to cuss. He knows it's wrong but he can't resist it.

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun smile against his lips. He wrapped his arms around the taller's torso and grind himself more against him. Chanyeol lost himself even more.

"Fuck..." he groans, as soon as Chanyeol pulls away to breathe, he looks at the grinning guy intently, "fuck you, Baek." he whispered as he started to surrender.

A smile of contentment was drawn on his lips. He won.

"Yes, yeol. Please..." he whispered. Chanyeol felt helpless now, Baekhyun took this chance to push him down the couch.

His slender fingers began stroking the taller's crotch. Chanyeol's voice became hoarse as his mind is now in chaos. When Baekhyun slid his hand in his pants. Chanyeol finally gave in.

Baekhyun whispers.

"If it still bothers you that much," he starts stripping the taller off, "then don't worry, _she will never know." _he sat on top of him.  
  
  


Chanyeol finds himself sweating too much again as he woke up. He immediately grabs his phone on his side table to check the time.

It's almost four in the morning.

His breathing gets heavier as he frustratingly covers his face with both his hands. He cussed for a few times before slowly shaking his head as he felt the familiar pain on his crotch.  


He had this weird dream again.

Only this time, he remembers.


	10. 9-Party Perks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can leave some kudos and comments, if it's not too much to ask! ^^

Chanyeol came running late to the the office on a Tuesday morning. Aside from the fact that he works until late night because of the reunited band, he also found himself doing things that are unacceptable even for his own perspective. But does he have a choice? If he ignores this regular problem he's been having every night, he'll die with so much pain in his pants.

He rushed to his cubicle and found his neighbor sitting in his own station, busily typing words on his keyboard. Baekhyun turned around to spare a glance at Chanyeol who accidentally looked back at him. Chanyeol unconsciously had his breath hitched. He immediately looked away from the smaller and focused on removing his coat to finally start his job.

"You're late." Baekhyun said, Chanyeol rolled his eyes. As much as he wants to completely ignore Baekhyun for some reasons, he can never ignore his remarks.

"Obviously." he scoffed. Chanyeol didn't hear the other answer from the next cubicle, he thought it's finally over but he heard some steps behind him. He immediately flinched to turn around and move his chair backward.

Baekhyun looked at him curiously with his right brow raised. Chanyeol's sudden reluctant action made him look at the taller in a questioning manner. _Why does he look like I'm about to jump at him?_ Baekhyun thought, but immediately chuckled when he realized that Chanyeol's probably just being his dumb self.

"Boss wants you to fix this," he hands a folder to Chanyeol, who gulped as he took it, "He wants some minor revisions. And he told me to help you." he said casually.

"I can do this by myself." Chanyeol quickly answered, obviously doesn't wanna be helped. Baekhyun creased his forehead with his answer, Chanyeol though, remained looking at the folder.

"Well, hate to burst your bubble but it's my job so you got no choice." Baekhyun chuckled sarcastically.

Chanyeol wasn't able to answer, although his face shows complete opposition to the idea. Baekhyun frowned.

"What's with the face?" Baekhyun remarks, as if offended, "It's not like I'll jump on you or something. Gosh." he rolled his eyes as he turned around to go back to his cubicle.

"But last night you did..." Chanyeol unconsciously muttered under his breath, as soon as he realized this, his eyes widened. Baekhyun on the other hand, wasn't able to catch up on it.

"What?" he asked, completely frowning with the inaudible remark.

"Nothing!" Chanyeol defensively said.

He glared back at Baekhyun but wasn't able to last long because of his distracting thoughts.

How the fuck will he work with someone who appears in his wet dreams from the past few nights? He couldn't even look at him! Or talk to him the usual way he does!

"Wanker." Baekhyun cussed, going back to his cubicle.

Chanyeol on the other side, had his eyes widened with the supposed-meaningless name but seemed to fit him right in the moment.

"Hyung!" as soon as the automatic sliding door opened, a grinning brown-haired boy runs to Chanyeol with his arms opened.

Chanyeol frowns.

"What the hell, Sehun?!" he yells, "Don't you have a class or something? Shit is back at it, stalking me again." he hissed with complete annoyance.

Sehun pouted. The younger male is oozing with cold and mysterious aura, completely opposite to the pouting bratty expression he's currently flashing to the older bandmate. Chanyeol is used to the peaceful lunch breaks he's been having everyday but now that he's 'unofficially' back to the band, he's guessing that the band drummer is back at clinging to his favorite hyung again.

"It's my vacant! And I figured out it's your lunch break as well so you should treat me, Hyung!" Sehun nagged. He knows that with a few pleads he can completely convince the older to treat him lunch.

Chanyeol tries to shake the other's arms away from him but he continued clinging like a child. Chanyeol starts to get embarrassed with the glances they're getting from the people around.

"Goddammit, Sehun!"

"Hyung, you've been gone for a very long time!!! You left us! You left me!" Sehun exclaims as they make their way outside the building, "Did you know how hard it was to be left with Kris-hyung? He's an ice and stone personified! Lay-hyung is so nice I feel like a fucking sacristan with him! And Luhan-hyung..." he slaps his forehead, "Jesus Christ...." he groaned, not even capable of finishing the sentence.

"What are you trying to say?" Chanyeol impatiently asked as they continue walking to the sidewalk. Girls and guys continue to eye them like a prey as two exceptionally good-looking guys walk their way to the nearest fast-food chain.

"With Luhan-hyung?" Sehun stares at Chanyeol while the other creased his forehead, Sehun nods in awe as he laughs nervously, "Ah! What I mean is... you owe me a lot! Hyung, you should be taking care of me and what did you do? You left me with them I was so lonely!!!" Chanyeol badly wants to puke with the younger's the same childish attitude. He is a complete opposite of what he shows on stage, Chanyeol thought.

"Can you go direct to the fucking point?" Chanyeol hissed.

Sehun scrunched his face, mocking the elder before facing the fast food counter, "Okay, Hyung. I want that, that and that!" he pointed different food in the menu posted, "Oh and also sundae, thanks." he smiled before tapping Chanyeol, who's completely pissed off but seemed to accept he has no choice.

Sehun left Chanyeol to find an unoccupied table for them. Chanyeol remained falling in line to buy food for him and the brat. He convinced himself that he needs to get used to it again, providing Sehun most of his lunch. This is why Chanyeol is annoyed as hell with Sehun, because the younger treats him like his father. He doesn't understand why they're completely different when they're both the youngest in the band. Although as much as he hates being the other's food provider, he still couldn't let him starve to death.

Chanyeol looks at Sehun at the far end corner. He's busy playing some stupid game for children on his phone when a group of girls passed by beside him and greeted him to flirt. Sehun though, looked at them coldly before rolling his eyes to focus on the game again. The girls left quickly, all embarrassed with what they got. Chanyeol smiled. Another talent of the brat is how fast he shifts from a nagging child to a cold asshole. And yet he mocks Kris for that when they're the same.

They talked about same old stories. What the band went through when he left, Sehun's university, Sehun's girls as he claims how he couldn't find the perfect one yet. Chanyeol continued listening while the other enthusiastically tells his stories, some with matching gestures.

"He's so stupid!" Sehun says as he slaps the table while laughing, Chanyeol laughs silently. As much as he wants to laugh the usual way he does, he's in a public place and he has no plans on humiliating himself. When they're almost finished, Sehun drank his iced tea before seriously looking at Chanyeol.

"Hyung, don't leave again." he said, almost like a plead.

Chanyeol's smile faded as he looked at his plate.

"You only explained to Kris-hyung. We didn't have an idea why. Well...I had an idea, but I decided not to jump into conclusions because...well, that's your life." he continued, looking away. Chanyeol completely knows that the younger's speculation is true because Sehun usually figures out things on his own, especially when it's about Chanyeol as they're very close.

"By the way, Hyung...is Baekhun your friend?" Sehun asked, grinning again.

"What? Who?" Chanyeol asked back, not recognizing the name.

"Baekhun...the cute guy you brought on our last gig at Phoenix's." as soon as he hears this, he immediately figured out who the other is pertaining to. His curious expression shifts into a frown.

"It's Baekhyun, you stupid ass." he snapped, wondering how Baekhyun always finds a way into people's business without even trying.

"Well I just heard it from someone so I might have not heard correctly!!!" Sehun exclaims before grinning again, "he's cute."

Chanyeol's brows immediately raised into this remark.

"Cute?" he repeated, hoping that the younger is kidding but then he saw him grinning wider.

"Yeah, I've actually seen him quite a few times now. Sometimes when the band plays at different bistros, he's there with a lot of people. So I was surprised when you were with him that night." he said, still smiling like an idiot.

"I even thought you guys are dating but then I realized lately that you have a girlfriend and you're straight up obsessed with her the last time I checked." he added with an eye roll.

Chanyeol creased his forehead with the remark.

"He's Shein's cousin and we're workmates that's probably why." he answered, his eyes still not leaving the grinning boy in front of him.

"Woah really?!" he said, jaw dropped. His mouth shaped like an 'o' while he dumbly stares at the ceiling as if he just figured out the da vinci code. Sehun didn't expect them to be workmates, but most of all he didn't expect the cute guy and Chanyeol's girlfriend to be cousins because how on earth could be the world be that small? And they seem very opposite...in Sehun's observation.

"Stop it you look stupid."

"So you ain't into him right?"

"What? His cousin is my girlfriend you dumbass!" Chanyeol finds himself getting more and more annoyed with the topic. Or maybe Sehun's sudden interest with the person.

"Baekhun's hotter though."

"It's Baekhyun! And are you blind? Shein's the hottest among them."

"Fine, but I don't like her."

Chanyeol glared at Sehun. The other sassily looks back at him as if he has said the most casual thing.

"Baekhyun is so cute." Sehun says with a lopsided grin, "And sexy, Hyung."

Chanyeol pursed his lips in annoyance. He narrowed his eyes at the younger.

"Are you actually turning gay for him?"

"Why not?" Sehun responded.

Chanyeol almost choked.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Hyung..." he excitedly leans to Chanyeol. His eyes took a quick glance on the window but immediately went back as it widened in surprise, not being able to tell Chanyeol what he's about to say as he found his current interest.

"That's Baekhun!" he yelled, pointing on the other side of the road.

"I said it's Baekhyun! Wait— what-" Chanyeol turned to where the younger is pointing only to see Baekhyun coming out of the pastry shop on the other side of the road with Ji eun.

"Hyung let's go to him! Introduce me!" Sehun grabs Chanyeol on the arm but immediately walks outside on his own.

"No way― Sehun! Come back here!" his deep voice echoed in the whole facility so he was left with no choice but to follow. He saw Sehun standing a few meters away from Baekhyun, who's oblivious at the moment, talking to Jieun.

"Hyung introduce me Hyung..." he whispered while tugging Chanyeol's coat.

"No."

"Hyung please Hyung introduce me." he repeated a few times until Chanyeol harshly shakes his arm away to glare at him. Sehun continued pouting making Chanyeol walk his way slowly towards Baekhyun.

_Well, I'll just introduce them. No big deal, right? _Chanyeol thinks as he tries to encourage himself into approaching the other.

He motioned the impatient drummer to stay where he is. Slowly, he makes his way towards Baekhyun, whose back is facing him.

"Soon enough, Shein's gonna lose her own game." he walks in a slower pace when he heard a familiar name, "Let her enjoy now. Soon, she'll expose her own secret and when it comes out, that witch is over." he heard the wickedness in Baekhyun's voice.

Chanyeol almost stopped. But his curiosity didn't let him.

"What secret?"

The deep voice startled both Jieun and Baekhyun. But what made them more horrified is the person behind them. Chanyeol looks at them grimly, although it is not clear if he's fuming because of hearing someone talking shit about his girl or the fact that he's unaware of this secret.

Jieun's eyes widened, she gulped as she tried hiding behind Baekhyun, who on the other hand, is completely the opposite of her reaction. Chanyeol glanced at Jieun before completely staring back at Baekhyun, who stared back with the same intensity. Jieun stood nervously as she notice the building tension between the two. Chanyeol stares grimly at Baekhyun who stares back coldly.

"What secret?" Chanyeol repeated louder, emphasizing both words. Baekhyun gulped but maintained his stone cold attitude.

Fine, Chanyeol is scary. But not enough to tame him into telling him the truth. Baekhyun thought.

"Hyung!" someone called behind Chanyeol. Jieun tiptoed to look but the two didn't stop the staring contest. No one's looking down as long as the other stands.

"Hyung..." Chanyeol felt Sehun tugging his arm as he whispers, "I told you to introduce me..." he mumbled under his breath. Chanyeol and Baekhyun remained on their positions, Jieun nervously looks at each of the person in front of her. Trying to find a way to break the tension.

"Hi!" Sehun greets after a few seconds of silence when he realized that Chanyeol has no plan on noticing him, "I'm Sehun! You're Baekhyun right?" he sheepishly smiled at the unusually cold guy in front of him.

This is just where the staring game between them breaks off. Baekhyun turns to Sehun who's reaching his hand to him. He awkwardly takes it to shake it gently.

"Uh...hello?" Baekhyun smiles at Sehun when he recognized him as one of the band members. Chanyeol remained staring for a few seconds before looking away, clenching his jaw.

He knows. It's not something shallow nor a joke. His instincts are telling him that whatever this secret is, it's somehow related to why is Shein acting so weird sometimes and Baekhyun's sudden change.

Whatever it is, he needs to know.

"So I was wondering if you can come to my birthday party this Friday?" Sehun shamelessly asked. Chanyeol creased his brows to this remark. Sehun is moving so fast to even invite Baekhyun to his party when he barely says the other's name correctly.

"Uhm...uh..." Baekhyun was obviously weirded out too. He struggles to find the words to say because he doesn't even know the younger aside from the fact that he's Chanyeol's bandmate.

"I'm not really sure..." Baekhyun sheepishly asnwered.

"Oh and you can come too! You can bring your friends!" Sehun quickly insisted, even inviting Jieun as well. Chanyeol scoffed because the other obviously wants to make sure Baekhyun comes, "Please? I just want us to be friends because you brought Chanyeol-hyung back to us..." Sehun added, even using Chanyeol to convince the other.

"I didn't really..." Baekhyun tries to argue about how he didn't bring Chanyeol back to the band but immediately decided to let it go, "Okay, we'll go." he smiled at Sehun who's trying to hide his happiness by pinching Chanyeol's back.

Chanyeol frowned more because of the scenario happening in front of him.

"Really? Thank you! It's 8PM by the way. Wear whatever you want." he grins as both nodded with the details.

"Okay. Uhm, we need to go back. Thanks for the invitation by the way." he smiled at Sehun before sparing a meaningful glance to Chanyeol. He grabs Ji eun's arms to quickly walk away from there.

Chanyeol pursed his lips as his eyes continued to follow the person who's now meters away from him.

"Hyung! Did you see that?! Hyung!!!!" Sehun shakes him like a maniac. He glared at the younger whose smile faded and pouted with his gesture. Although the happiness on his face is still obvious.

Chanyeol badly wanted to curse. When will his Friday's be stress-free?

"Baekhyun," he calls while he walks directly to the smaller's cubicle.

Baekhyun turns to look at him with his casual expression. Not showing any signs of panic with Chanyeol's approaching interrogative aura.

"What were you saying about Shein a while ago?" he asked in full seriousness. Baekhyun raised his brows.

"About Shein being a witch?" he casually asked back that made Chanyeol even more annoyed.

"You know what I mean. Don't make me repeat it again." Chanyeol said. Baekhyun shakes his head while chuckling sarcastically.

"If it's about the secret then move on! It's nothing serious, gosh." he rolled his eyes and turned away but Chanyeol grabbed his arm, making him flinch.

"Then why don't you say it?!"

"Fuck off, Chanyeol."

"Just tell me!"

"No!"

Chanyeol fumed with the other's resistance. His breathing gets faster as he angrily grasps the other's arm, but Baekhyun showed no sign of submission. Another employee passed by their cubicle making Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun's arm. Their co-worker looked weirdly at them making them look away in embarrassment until she's completely far from them. When no one is looking, Baekhyun threw a sharp yet cold stare at Chanyeol.

"Don't ask me things you can even figure out by yourself." he said through gritted teeth then shoved a folder on the taller's chest before walking away. Chanyeol gulped in frustration.

He'll know it. If not tonight then soon enough.  
  
  
  


x

As much as he doesn't want to go to Sehun's birthday celebration, the younger throws a tantrum whenever he says so. He reasoned out things like how Chanyeol owes him a lot, or he'll boycott his own party if his favorite hyung isn't there, or who's gonna be the bridge for him to befriend Baekhyun completely if Chanyeol isn't there. Things like that.

At 8:30, he's still at his house. He could hear Sehun's imaginary voice nagging him for being late, he shrugged. He combs his hair into comma style and wears his denim jacket over his black printed shirt. As much as he's annoyed as hell with Sehun and some guests, he still wanted to be presentable. He grabbed nothing but his phone and car keys before heading to the drummer's house.

Chanyeol continued asking Baekhyun about the secret for the past few days. Well, aside from the fact that Baekhyun acted completely normal and casual to him after being so cold on that Tuesday night, he noticed a mark of bruise on the other's right temple as if it was being concealed by some heavy makeup. Day after day, Chanyeol becomes more eager to find answers. Every time something happens or Baekhyun says something bizarre, he will act casually to Chanyeol after that as if it didn't happen at all. And Chanyeol didn't like that. He didn't like the fact that he's the only one bothered every night with the thoughts considering that he's also still having those weird wet dreams.

He crossed his fingers that tonight, maybe he'll get some answers.

Even from the parking space outside, he could hear the loud music from the inside. He shook his head when he heard the drums being played loudly with no specific beats, making it sound dreadful. He went inside just to see the house packed with a lot of people, some he recognize, many he doesn't. A lot came from Sehun's university, there are also a lot of girls. He found Lay and Luhan so he stayed with them for quite a while talking about random things. When he felt thirsty, he excused himself for a while to go get some drink. He roamed his eyes among the busy and noisy crowd, but he wasn't able to find the birthday boy.

A lot of girls smiled at him on the way, he smiled back, just not to be rude. He got himself a party cup and had a few seconds of internal conflict about the amount of liquor he'll drink for the night because he wouldn't want to have a severe hangover tomorrow. He's in the middle of getting a drink when an arm wrapped around his neck.

"Hyung!!!" he smelled the alcohol from Sehun as soon as they got close. He frowned at the younger who's obviously tipsy now, annoyed that he didn't even saw Sehun sober for tonight.

"Why have you been drinking too much? Your party just started!" Chanyeol scolded the smiling younger.

"Hyung have you seen Baekhun?" he asked while pouting. Chanyeol rolled his eyes when he remembered the special guest of the birthday boy. Speaking of, he hasn't seen the guy either.

"Sehun, lessen your liquor now."

"They're callin me. Hyung...." he mumbles, ignoring Chanyeol's remarks as he looks at his friends from the far corner, "If Baekhun comes...call me. I'm just there!" he tipsily points at the right corner before shaking his head, "Uh no wrong...there! Okay? Call me." he patted Chanyeol's shoulder before walking towards his friends.

Chanyeol shook his head, realizing the fact that the other will be really drunk for sure just a few hours from now. He faced the other side to slowly drink his cup of beer. As his eyes shifted to the main door, he saw Sehun's main interest. Chanyeol's supposedly slow drinking turns into him gulping the whole cup of beer down to his throat as he tries to shake himself into consciousness.

Baekhyun stood at the front door. His blue silk longsleeve polo loosely hugs his upper body. The upper buttons are opened, exposing his fair collarbones. It is messily styled as half of the polo is tucked inside his black ripped jeans, while the other half hangs outside. His black choker and eye makeup made the girls around him stare a little longer. His brown locks are tousled too, as if it wasn't combed but it falls into his face beautifully like it was meant to be brushed by his delicate fingers every now and then.

_Wow._

Chanyeol's lips suddenly went dry. Before he even start drooling, he distracts himself on finding Jieun or Heechul but he wasn't able to see them. Baekhyun came all alone.

His eyes met the taller's. His lost expression is somehow changed into a relieved one. Although he didn't make it too obvious. For some reason, Chanyeol wanted to look away and act like he didn't see the other but when he saw Baekhyun walking towards him, his plan vanished.

"Hey."

He flashed his familiar smug smile to Chanyeol, who seemed to be in awe with his presence.

"You're late." is all Chanyeol could utter as he tries to hide his intimidation with the other's oozing charisma.

Baekhyun lets out a chuckle, "It's just quarter to 11."

"Party's 8."

"No one arrives at 8 when you say it starts at 8." Baekhyun responded, voice flowing with humor.

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol who didn't answer. His face has a trace of hidden smile.

"Where's your friend?" he roams his eyes around, obviously pertaining to Sehun.

Chanyeol frowned.

"It's Sehun." he says, "And he's there, with his friends."

Baekhyun shrugged with the information. He ignored Chanyeol and went straight to the table of food behind him, he grabbed a frosted cupcake and started devouring it. Chanyeol watched him like an idiot. Baekhyun flawlessly licks the icing on top making it hard to watch so the taller looks away.

"Seriously? You just arrived and you're devouring a cupcake?" he raised his brows to the other. Baekhyun frowned at him.

"So?" Baekhyun snaps in annoyance, he continued licking the frosting like his life depended on it, making it harder to watch for Chanyeol, "I already ate my dinner. Besides, it's not my hobby to eat at the parties I go unless it's desert."

"And if you're invited to a formal dinner?"

Baekhyun shrugs, "Maybe I'll just eat the one who invited me."

Chanyeol scrunched his face with the other's remark. He couldn't help but find Baekhyun's dirty jokes to be ridiculous. He thought he'll get used to it but he doesn't.

"You're not even drunk yet and you say dirty things already."

"I don't need to be drunk to be a dirty talker, I do it all the time. Drunk or not I talk the same." Baekhyun rolls his eyes, "Well, I can't tell lies if I'm drunk but nevertheless I'm still the same." Baekhyun responded nonchalantly. He didn't notice how the other's attention focused on his last sentence.

Chanyeol gulps as he noticed a stain of icing on the side of Baekhyun's lips. The guy having no idea how fucking inviting he looks with the simple mess he makes. Chanyeol wanted to yell at himself with these thoughts.

"Are you checking me out? Or there's a dirt on my face?" Baekhyun chuckled when he saw Chanyeol's intent stare.

Chanyeol clears his throat, "Actually, y-you have..." he cussed inside when he stuttered, "You have something here." he touched his own face to tell Baekhyun which side is the stain placed.

Baekhyun grins as he wipes it with his finger. He glanced at Chanyeol.

"Too bad," he shrugs, "I actually assumed you were checking me out." he clicked his tongue in disappointment.

Before Chanyeol could respond, someone started yelling Baekhyun's name.

"Baekhyun!" Sehun walks unsteadily towards them with a party cup on his hand, his eyes are shaped into crescent ones as he saw his anticipated visitor, "You came!"

"Hi!" Baekhyun smiles slightly, trying to shake off the awkwardness between them, "Happy birthday." he greeted.

Sehun eyed him intently before shaking his head, "Thanks. God, you're so sweet." he smiled flirtily making Chanyeol cringe and shake his head.

"So how about I'll introduce you to some of my friends? They'll surely like you!"

"Uh..." Baekhyun stared awkwardly at Chanyeol, as if trying to ask for help.

"Sehun, just let him―"

"Oh shut up, Hyung! This will be quick!" he said as he pulled Baekhyun into the crowd, leaving Chanyeol staring at them until they disappear from his sight.

Chanyeol looks down at his almost empty cup, his thoughts wandering with his earlier ideas.

So... what he need, is to get someone drunk.  
  
  
  
The whole night was a blur. Chanyeol ended up walking around for the past few hours, either getting a drink, talking to his bandmates, talking to some other people and such. He saw Baekhyun for a few times, the smaller no longer flashes an awkward expression as he learned to get along with some of Sehun's friends. It looked like the brat badly wanted the former to be part of his circle. Chanyeol wanted to puke with the sudden intimacy.

Kris was almost tipsy as he bid goodbye to them. This is the time when Chanyeol thought about checking his wristwatch. It's almost 1:30 AM. He looked around, not seeing any trace of Baekhyun nor Sehun. Chanyeol sent Kris and Lay to the parking space to make sure they're sober enough to drive. When he made sure they're driving right enough not to smash the plants around Sehun's backyard, he went back inside. He's not gonna lie, he's quite tipsy too. Although he's still on his right mind to make sure Sehun doesn't let his house on fire or open for thieves. Visitors are starting to leave so Chanyeol decided to find Sehun to start cleaning, though he was distracted by the thoughts of Baekhyun's whereabouts.

_Maybe he went home. _He said somewhere on the back of his mind. Where else could that guy be?

"Hyung," Chanyeol calls to Luhan, who just finished a phone call, "Are you sure you still wanna help? I mean...we're fine here. Your little sister's alone in the house." Chanyeol suggested in concern. Luhan lets out a small smile before shaking his head.

"It's okay. She's not answering so maybe she's asleep now. We need to make sure Sehun's okay before we leave. You know too well how negligent that brat is when it comes to parties." he said, obviously trying to conceal his worry for his sister.

When Sehun hasn't shown up yet and all the guests are almost gone, Chanyeol and Luhan decided to start picking up the trash and used cups. As soon as they finished, Chanyeol felt his phone vibrated.

From: Sehun

_where r u -baek_

Chanyeol's forehead creased with the surprising text. So Baekhyun is still there with Sehun. Casually using each other's phones now, huh?

To: Sehun

_Living room. Where's Sehun? Did u do something? Come down here._

Not a minute has passed yet when he got a response.

From: Sehun

_idiot_

Chanyeol frowned. He almost typed his response when another text came.

From: Sehun

_we're at the rooftop & ur friend is drunk af he wants to jump to fly can u just come here and help me babysit this shit_

From a frown, Chanyeol holds back his laughter because he could hear Baekhyun's annoyed and sassy voice inside his head as he babysits Sehun. Chanyeol immediately told Luhan where Sehun is and they both went up to the rooftop, only to find Sehun sitting on the rooftop deck with his eyes closed, obviously drunk. Baekhyun stands up and struggles to hold him to keep him from falling with Sehun's arms wrapped around his waist like a child. If Chanyeol hadn't known that the other's heavily drunk, he'll misunderstood the sight. Baekhyun turns his head around to look at them, his face showing annoyance.

Chanyeol stopped when he saw Luhan stopped at the end of the stairs, blankly staring at Sehun.

"Hyung?" as if the other woke up from wilderness, Luhan followed to help.

They held Sehun to his bedroom as he completely went to his dreamland. The bed thumped with Sehun's weight without him getting conscious. When they made sure that he's in the right position, they went back to the living room. Bottles of different kinds of liquor are there together with the chips, cupcakes and other snacks. Despite the large amount of guests, there are still a lot of drinks left. It makes it harder for them to clean up. Chanyeol couldn't help but think how Sehun managed to prepare a lot despite having to do the party under his parent's nose.

Chanyeol sees Luhan on his phone as if trying to call someone again, this time his face is vividly worried. "Hyung, you should really get going. Your sister might be waiting for you." Chanyeol suggested as he watched Luhan dial again.

"But... how about you? There's still a lot of cleaning left to do." Chanyeol couldn't help but be amazed how Luhan thinks a lot about his band mates' welfare all the time especially being the oldest. Chanyeol looked around to see that there's definitely a lot of cleaning left. From the side of his eyes, he could see Baekhyun standing on the corner, watching their conversation. When the taller couldn't answer, the former butts in.

"I can help him..." Baekhyun surprisingly offers, "I think you should go home. We can do this now." he responds to Luhan.

The older awkwardly nods his head from the remark he heard from the other as they're not even formally introduced yet. Although because he didn't have time to argue, he smiles at the both of them before grabbing his car keys. "Thank you. Please look after Sehun." he formally says before glancing to Chanyeol, "Yeol, after you finish, go home and take a rest okay? I'll get going." he tapped his shoulder and gave Baekhyun a quick smile. Right then, he walked outside to leave.

There was a short silence before they proceeded in picking up trashes. After a few minutes, Baekhyun walked to the kitchen, in which Chanyeol thought that he'll start to clean. After Chanyeol filled up the whole garbage bag and made sure to pick every trash in the living room, he went out to throw the garbage. He glanced at the parking space, only to see his car as the only one left. His forehead creased.

He went back inside because of the cold air and walked to the kitchen. He finds Baekhyun sitting like a king with his feet placed on the other chair. He's sipping a drink as if tasting every brand left. Chanyeol shook his head.

"Hey," Baekhyun looks up to him with his half lidded eyes, "how did you get here?"

"Cab." the other responded shortly. Chanyeol creased his brows.

"Then how will you go home?"

Baekhyun smiled at him like the answer is obvious.

"I'm planning on getting a cab."

"Oh you are?"

"Actually no. I was wondering if you can just give me a ride home." Baekhyun swiftly answered with his famous beam strategy. Chanyeol chuckled sarcastically.

"You planned this all out, did you?" he curtly asked as he walked to the table and also grabbed himself a clean party cup to fill with vodka. He sits on a chair about a meter away from Baekhyun. He scrunched his face when the strong liquor hits his throat before talking again.

"Joke's on you cos I got no plans going home just yet." he added, not looking at the other's reaction as he fills his cup more drink.

Baekhyun grinned.

"You shall not worry." he mocks, "I can gladly wait for my driver with this bunch of drinks in front of me so joke's back at you." his chuckle echoed in the room. Chanyeol just laughed as he rolled his eyes.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable nor overwhelming. Both of them continued drinking the remaining liquors like some kind of a taste test. Chanyeol secretly glances at the other who's completely oblivious. If Baekhyun gets drunk, he might say something Chanyeol has been wanting to know. Although Chanyeol is aware that this could be hard for he doesn't even know the smaller's drinking number or if he ever gets drunk that fast, he needs to try.

"Woah! Is this Svedka?" he suddenly blurts out as he reaches a red bottle of vodka, making the smaller look at him, "I heard this is so good." Chanyeol pretends like he's so interested in the liquor.

"Yeah, I heard. Haven't tried it either."

"What are you waiting for?" Chanyeol excitedly pours the liquor in Baekhyun's freshly emptied cup, "Try it." Baekhyun was taken aback with the other's action but nevertheless, drank it.

"Why aren't you drinking?" Baekhyun frowned when he saw Chanyeol watching him as he gulped the alcohol. The taller realized this and slowly poured Svedka in his cup to make sure he gets a very little amount.

"Weak shit!" Baekhyun mockingly scowled as he pushed the bottle to Chanyeol's cup to add more of the liquid. Chanyeol gulped, he decided to just go with it and just to keep track with his drinking number.

"Fun fact," Baekhyun starts muttering while grinning widely, "I lost my virginity at the cubicle you're using at the office."

Chanyeol scrunched his face by hearing this. Baekhyun bursted out laughing with the other's expression, he had to wipe the tears forming on the corner of his eyes because of so much laughter.

"Liar." Chanyeol scoffs, he raised his brow at Baekhyun, "How long have you been working there?"

"Almost five years?"

"Then that's bullshit!" he scorned. He had another few gulps from his cup.

Baekhyun stopped laughing but his face continues to flash the smug expression he makes.

"Fine, it's a bluff. I lost it at 16 at the school garden," he admits, "But I did have sex on that cubicle, if you must know."

"You're gross!" Chanyeol throws a chip on the other's face who's laughing uncontrollably again.

"Another fun fact," Baekhyun started off making Chanyeol groan.  
  
  
  


It's half past 3AM.

Looking at Baekhyun, he seemed all fine and sober with his eyes opened normally as they should. He talks normally too, his voice and mannerisms are still the usual. Although the things he says get weirder now with the bunch of fun facts he blabber which to Chanyeol, aren't even fun at all. The only thing to measure if he's still sober now is if he stands up from where he sits and walk straightly.

Well, looking at Chanyeol...

"Shit!" Chanyeol cussed with a slap on the table, Baekhyun almost jumped in surprise with the sound.

"What again?"

"You're lying again!"

"I am not!"

Now this doesn't make sense at all. All the plans he had seem to hit him hard back in the face. His doe-like eyes are now half lidded with his face all scrunched up because of the sudden hotness and dizziness he feels. Chanyeol can still comprehend the fact that he has to do something important, though he's wishing that his body can cooperate with him. He tries to think about saner thoughts and gather all the soberness left in him to breathe heavily and focus his gaze. At this point, he knows that if he gets more drunk then he'll end up sleeping his ass off inside his car or somewhere here. He needs to restore his senses.

He clears his throat and sits straight from his almost-sleeping position. He awkwardly tries to make his eyes bigger making Baekhyun look at him like he's a dumb fiasco.

"You look stupid..." Baekhyun mumbled.

"Hey how about you tell me more fun facts, aryt?" Chanyeol smiled widely then gave Baekhyun a newly filled cup of drink.

"Okay!" Baekhyun nods as he took the drink from Chanyeol, "About what? General facts or facts about my favorite series? Sex facts and such things..." Baekhyun mumbled as he leaned on his palm.

Chanyeol pretends to think, he puts his finger on his chin as he stares back at the other, "How about...Shein? Facts about her? Or your relationship? I wanna know.." he asked curiously, trying to indirectly hit that point.

Baekhyun's brows moved down to place upon hearing this, he sat straight and put back his feet on the floor.

"What exactly do you wanna know about her?"

Chanyeol did the same, he was thrilled when he was surprisingly entertained.

"You know...what has she been up to these past few days?"

Baekhyun stares blankly at him, Chanyeol couldn't read his thoughts. He tries to smile to not make it that obvious.

"As her boyfriend, is there anything I need to know?" he's amazed how he was able to deliver all of that correctly despite how tipsy he is.

"I know what you're trying to do..."

Chanyeol continued to stare at Baekhyun who's now seriously talking.

"Let's clean up and go home." Baekhyun stood up. Chanyeol's gaze followed the other.

Baekhyun walks to the sink like a zombie. He couldn't keep his feet straight now because his vision are getting shaky as well. He shook his head as he felt the alcohol starting to dominate his system. He tries to shake the dizziness off as he turned on the faucet and started washing the plates. He sighed as he couldn't even hold the plates properly without feeling like dropping them off.

He stopped when he felt like sleeping already. He started laughing silently with his own misfortune.

"Holy fuck, you're so drunk..." he whispers to himself. He continued laughing when he felt the imbalance on his feet. Baekhyun cussed when he stumbled and tried to hold his weight on the sink, the glasses on the corner fell before him and when he's ready to receive the impact on his butt, big hands held him from the back to prevent him from falling.

The sound of crashing glasses made him close his eyes tightly, the remaining plate on his hand thankfully didn't fall.

He opened his eyes to see Chanyeol's face inches away from him. They're both breathing heavily because of the sudden accident but for Baekhyun, this very little space between them made it harder for him to breathe.

"I swear to God you're gonna kill yourself..." Chanyeol whispered without moving an inch away. He could feel his breath on his face, Chanyeol gulped.

"You are such a cheap strategist, Yeol..." Baekhyun glanced down to the taller's moist lips.

"Making me drunk to tell you petty things..." he chuckled.

"Why don't you just tell me?" Chanyeol impatiently asked.

Baekhyun slowly shakes his head like the tease he is, "I won't. I will never."

Chanyeol doesn't seem to mind the rejection anymore. His eyes are focused on the very inviting thing in front of him.

"I'll just tell you other things.." he whispered as he felt Chanyeol's racing breath too close to his face.

Chanyeol cussed inside.

As if all the frustration, alcohol and unwelcomed thoughts burst into him when he stares at Baekhyun's inviting lips in front of him. He badly wants to ravish it.

And so he did.

Within a snap, Chanyeol finds himself grabbing Baekhyun by the neck to crash his lips against the other. The dizziness and sexual tension dominated the both of them. The plate on Baekhyun's hand effortlessly fell on the floor, the crashing sound of the chinaware echoed within the whole room, overpowering the clicking sound their lips make as they continued exploring each other's mouth.

Not capable of finding their balance because of too much alcohol, Chanyeol holds on to the marble sink, pinning Baekhyun between his hands. The other doesn't seem to like the sudden dominance, grabbing Chanyeol by the collar to harshly push him against the frames of paintings on the wall. Chanyeol lets out a yelp when he felt the impact against his back.

Baekhyun started to lose more control when he felt Chanyeol's tongue inside his mouth, teasingly swirling it on his own and exploring the edges. He closed his eyes without noticing the other unbuttoning his silk top in a swift motion. Their heads are tilted on both sides as they continued the heated kiss.

"Shit, what—" Baekhyun breathes when Chanyeol pulls away to catch some breath, "what are we doing?" Chanyeol only let him finish his question before shutting him up to continue the kiss.

Baekhyun felt a slight panic inside him when he felt his feet walking backwardly somewhere. His feet are wobbly walking, if it wasn't for Chanyeol's arms around his waist guiding him to walk to somewhere, he would've fell instantly.

With the continuous erotic kiss they're sharing, they reached a door and they do not even know whose room it is. Neither do they care. All they know is as soon as they stepped inside, Chanyeol kicked the door closed.

Baekhyun grabbed the fabric of his shirt and roughly pushed him onto the bed. Chanyeol's breathing is intensely labored, watching how he succeeded unbuttoning the other's top completely, exposing his bare torso. Baekhyun seemed to accept this fact when he completely slipped off his shirt. He walked to the bed and kneeled between Chanyeol's legs to drop his head down and crash their lips again.

Realizing how unfair it is, with only him getting undressed, he vigorously took off the other's denim jacket, followed by Chanyeol's shirt which are both impatiently thrown away somewhere. Without wasting any second, Baekhyun proceeded into working on Chanyeol's pants, expertly unbuckling his belt with his slender fingers. Chanyeol couldn't help but grunt when he felt his hard shaft getting touched.

"Someone's impatient." he grunts hoarsely. He almost couldn't recognize his own voice. When Baekhyun successfully took his pants off, he had a clearer view of his hard boner under his underwear. Baekhyun took no time to waste as he touched the taller's swollen arousal over the thin fabric, making Chanyeol shiver. The smaller moved lower to level himself between Chanyeol's legs as his hands continue to massage the other's crotch.

"Jesus..." Chanyeol grunts under his breath while he bites his lip. Baekhyun reached for the garter of his boxers before impatiently pulling it down to see Chanyeol's wholeness right in front of him. Chanyeol arched his head back as Baekhyun wrapped his palm around his length, he looked up and stared straight at Chanyeol's eyes as he started moving his hand in a moderate pace. Chanyeol couldn't take the intensity of Baekhyun's eyes and the pleasure he's feeling, so he gulps and looked away. Baekhyun found this amusing to him as he grinned before taking the taller's length inside his mouth. His tongue moved along with his head, expertly taking Chanyeol so well.

Chanyeol felt hysterical. It's like his body's being electrified with different emotions. Especially the thought of how his recent wet dreams seem to perfectly come into life right now. Baekhyun's mouth felt so good and warm against his aching cock. He could feel his precum dripping on the end of his shaft. Baekhyun bobbed his head faster. Chanyeol panted erotically, feeling Baekhyun's moans vibrating against his sensitive skin. The taller clutched the sheets beside him, shaking with the feeling. Baekhyun pulled away to catch some breath, making Chanyeol see his own cock dripping in both his cum and saliva. Baekhyun heavily breathes against his thigh before sucking him again like a slut.

Chanyeol felt it coming and feeling slightly humiliated with the thought of cumming first, he gets back to his senses and stops the smaller.

"Stand up," he commanded while standing up from the bed. Baekhyun seemed to forgot his non-submissive self when he stood up as soon as told, looking up to watch the other's face because of their height difference. Chanyeol leans down to the smaller, his rough palm gently swipes the corner of Baekhyun's mouth before placing heavy kisses on it.

He's aware of what he's doing. Well, partly aware. But he couldn't find the guts inside him to stop himself. His body's craving for this like crazy. He doesn't know if he'll do this with anyone right now but having this beautiful piece of art under him makes him pleasurably frantic.

In a snap, he had Baekhyun's pants and boxers thrown away on the other side of the room. The smaller shivered as he gets fully bare and exposed but fully complied when he was pushed against the sheets. He gets harder seeing Chanyeol crawling down his feet, leaning closer. He lets out a loud gasp when he felt the hot breathing against his thighs, making his sensitive hole clench in arousal. Chanyeol grabs both his legs easily to place light feathery kisses inside his thighs, close to his erection. Baekhyun shamelessly grunts in excitement.

As much as he badly wants to ram himself hard inside Baekhyun's waiting and puckered hole, Chanyeol came into the realization that there's no lube available. And finding something to stretch the other easily will only ruin the moment. Baekhyun seemed to think about the same dilemma as he mumbled between his heavy breathing.

"Take me now, Yeol. Please..." he begs, as he shut his eyes close, wanting to be ravished by the other so badly, "I need to feel you. Just―take me raw..." he grunted throatily.

"I ca―I d-don't..." Chanyeol breathed nervously.

"Please!"

Chanyeol looks at the squirming mess in front of him. Both of them are craving for more, that's a fact. But Chanyeol knows it shouldn't be that fast and painful.

He continued the light kisses around Baekhyun's arousal, before the other could even groan in impatience, large hands spread the cheeks of his ass as Chanyeol leans down to dribble spit over his anticipating hole. Baekhyun arched his back, he felt the warm liquid trickle down his ass.

"Ah―shit..." he cussed when a long finger slowly entered his tight spit-soaked hole. Chanyeol watches how Baekhyun's face wrinkled in so much pleasure. He twists the knuckle of his middle finger inside making the other cry in satisfaction. He adds another finger, eventually moving his hands in a faster speed to stretch the hole enough. Three fingers and Baekhyun is a moaning mess under him, Chanyeol could feel his own arousal on his stomach, badly wanting to be solved.

When he thinks the other is stretched enough to be filled in by his bigger member, he swiftly points the tip of his cock before pushing his length inside.

He stopped when he felt his wholeness inside, to let the other adjust to him before he move. He leans down to kiss the smallers neck, to his collarbone. Baekhyun thrusts and moves his waist impatiently to feel Chanyeol inside him.

"Oh god―" he whimpered as Chanyeol started moving in and out slowly. Baekhyun opens his eyes and pulled his weight up to push Chanyeol down and sit on top. Slightly taken aback, the taller watches how Baekhyun's impatience flashes vividly on his face. He moves his waist circularly as he grasps Chanyeol's shoulders.

"I wanna ride you." Baekhyun grunts under his breath, placing Chanyeol between his legs. He could feel his hole stinging slightly as it starts stretching to adjust for the bigger size. He tilts his head back with his eyes shut closed when he started moving his own body up and down. His first soft moans had a trace of pain in it. When Chanyeol felt the other's stretched enough for his cock, he grabs his waist to pull him and help him go up and deeper.

"Fuck," Chanyeol cussed and fastened the pace. Baekhyun's soft moans turned into loud groans and profanities. His nails are digging into Chanyeol's shoulders as he moved faster.

"Fuck! Agh— ah!" his moans sounded like a music to the other as he felt harder inside his hole, whenever Chanyeol pulls him up, he lets his weight push him deeper, reaching for the heaven he's been finding while he screams in so much pleasure.

"Ah! Oh god..." Baekhyun bites his lip as he cried for more. He could feel his hands slipping off Chanyeol's shoulders because of sweat so he pulled the other's dark locks instead as he thrusted deeper. Chanyeol tightened his grasps around the smaller's waist before slamming it down to his shaft. Baekhyun's scream gets louder when he felt him hit the spot. Baekhyun's skin is now marked from the tight grasps on his waist.

"Yes! Agh—! Deeper, Yeol. Ah, fuck!" Chanyeol repeats this devotedly making Baekhyun throw his head back with so much pleasure, "There! Oh god, Yeol! Yes!" Baekhyun is going hysterical when Chanyeol repeatedly hits his prostate.

Chanyeol's low and deep grunts seem to go perfectly with Baekhyun's loud moans. Their sound aside from the skin slapping are the only ones to be heard in the room. They probably don't give a shit anymore if Sehun wakes up because of their noise.

Baekhyun concealed another cry by pulling up Chanyeol's chin then dropped his head down to it and crash their lips again. He moans against the taller's tongue and vice versa. When Chanyeol thought he already gave the other his moment, he grabbed him by the leg to change their positions without pulling out.

When his lips moved to Baekhyun's jawline, that's where he started ramming himself inside again.

"Fuck..."

"Ah! F-Faster, Yeol. Please!"

Baekhyun's sudden demands echoes like a mantra inside his mind. This nickname isn't helping either.

He knows he can still slam it harder, though he doesn't want to hurt the other or look really thirsty for it, even when he really is.

"Don't go gentle on me, ah—please!" Baekhyun noticed Chanyeol's hesitation that made him more frustrated, "Fuck me the hardest that you can!" he yells.

As if it was a go signal, Chanyeol pulls out for a bit before slamming back hard again. Baekhyun lets out a yelp of pleasure when Chanyeol roughly slams himself inside his tight hole. The corner of his eyes are wet with tears. He finds it pleasurable watching Chanyeol's expression with his eyes shut as he rams hardly inside Baekhyun like he doesn't care about anything at all. Baekhyun wraps his legs around the other's waist as he meets every thrust.

With a few more thrusts, he felt something tightening inside his stomach. He opens his mouth as his screams started fading.

"You feel so good, Yeol." he held his own cock as he pumps it nice and slow before cumming on his stomach, even squirting some on Chanyeol's arm, "So fucking good..."

Chanyeol pushed into more sloppy thrusts until he meets his Nirvana and cums inside Baekhyun's hole and thighs. He moves in a slower pace to make sure he fills the other before exhaling one heavy breath. His tired body falls on top of Baekhyun. He buries his face into the smaller's neck, their breathing are still unstable.

He pulls out, throwing his tired body beside the other, he stares at the ceiling with his consciousness eventually leaving him.

"What the fuck did we just do?" he asked sleepily like some kind of a deja vu. The soft sarcastic chuckle was the last thing he heard before he fell into a deep tire of exhaustion.  
  
  


x

He woke up alone.

Realizing a lot of things, especially the fact that he's not in his house and the sun is up, he panics and quickly stood up to grab his clothes on the floor. As soon as he wore his pants, he checked his phone.

It's 8 fucking AM. And the thought of Sehun cluelessly opening this random room in his house to see him naked and all sexed up it seriously disturbing. As soon as he got fully dressed, Chanyeol groggily walks out the room, hoping that there's no one here yet or at least Sehun's still sleeping. Seeing no one is in the living room, he sighs in relief and quickly walks to the door.

"Hyung?"

He jumps in surprise and panic with the sudden call. He turns around to see Sehun walking from the kitchen, slowly scratching the back of his head with his scrunched face obviously implying that he just woke up and curious about a lot of things. Chanyeol gulped.

"Hyung..." he insensibly points at the broken glasses on the kitchen that looked like a war zone. Sehun is completely oblivious, "Was the house robbed?"


	11. 10-Stress Reliever

As much as Chanyeol wanted to stay inside his room and have his ass rotten there, he's aware he has a job to do.

He couldn't get out of the bed unless he's called by his biological needs. He just wanted to sleep. 

He thinks he's sick.

He's going crazy with the thoughts he's having.

He thinks he's going nuts.

He just fucked his girlfriend's cousin.

He fucked Byun Baekhyun.

He wants to die.

It's 10 in a Monday morning when he groggily walks to the office building. It's way past the season of winter. But he walked quickly inside the building wearing his thick hooded jacket, face mask and a cap, not to mention they're all black. It's like he's mourning over something. Probably his almost-lost sanity.

It's the start of the week and he got scolded already. He knew he'd get a memo for disobeying the dress code but he knows this is the best option he has. He wants to disappear. He wants the earth to swallow him whole.

"Oh my God, you scared me!" Heechul shrieks when he passes by Chanyeol outside the manager's office, "You look terrible, Chanyeol. What's with the mask?" Heechul eyed him weirdly because of his get-up. Chanyeol just looked at him before shrugging, he remained sitting like a lost puppy on the chair outside the office door making Heechul roll his eyes and leave him alone.

The taller patiently waited for his written warning. He subtly roamed his eyes around the office, waiting to spot an undesirable figure before eventually dropping his head down.

"Semi-formal from Mondays to Thursdays, Chanyeol." the manager sternly says before giving him a flinty stare, he gulped before nodding his head, "Get back to work."

Chanyeol eventually walked to his cubicle, not minding the inquisitive looks he got from his coworkers on his way. He tries to shrug off the pint of anxiousness inside him, especially with the idea that he has to run into the last person he wants to see.

_Get your fucking job done and it's over._ He whispered to himself as he dropped his head lower, almost curling his body into a fetal position just to be invisible as possible. He felt a movement from the cubicle beside him, he gulped as he focused more on his work, pretending not to notice. He lets himself drown into his workloads to completely set himself free from the crazy thoughts for just a few hours. He didn't notice a pair of eyes watching him for quite a while.

He remained like this for a few days, except for the dress code of course. He wouldn't want to lose his job just because he's going mental. He managed to go to the office for a few days without looking into someone's eyes unless he needed to. He just couldn't get over it. He couldn't get over with what he did. It made him confused about a lot of things and he didn't like it.

What he hated the most is the fact that he technically cheated on Shein. Worse is with her own cousin. For what? For a petty one night stand? He hates himself for that. And he hates Baekhyun even more for it too. How could he sleep with his cousin's boyfriend? That is nothing but abominable for Chanyeol.

He couldn't help picturing Shein doing perfectly well somewhere, completely oblivious and clueless about the things happening behind her back. Chanyeol felt a slight twinge inside his chest with the thought. The guilt is eating him up.

Although he thinks it was his worst dilemma, he's wrong. He didn't realize how every night, his mind goes back to that night, remembering every detail. He didn't realize how he pictured those milky white skin against his own every now and then. He didn't realize how it was constantly the reason behind his early morning problems where he badly needs to pump himself and cuss under his breath in the middle of the dawn. Deep inside him, where Chanyeol himself couldn't even realize, is a very much worse truth.

"Hey Chanyeol, you done with lunch?" Chanyeol wanted to cringe when he failed to escape the group of people he passed by. He looked at Nara who's smiling at him. Beside her are some of his coworkers too, including Baekhyun.

"You can join us!" Gayoung added that made him shake his head in an instant.

"No no- I mean, I'll grab mine later you can go ahead." he tries to smile until his eyes unconsciously spotted the other's, "Thanks for the offer though."

Baekhyun surprisingly managed to stare directly at him. Although his reaction isn't his usual smug or sassy one. It's just blank. As if he's trying to read what's going on inside the taller's mind. Chanyeol felt his insides go exaggerated, looking at those dark orbs in front of him after almost a week. He cussed internally when he felt himself heating up.

Baekhyun then raised his brows.

"Why won't you go with us again, Yeol?" he asked casually, as if he's genuinely curious. Despite being in awe, Chanyeol couldn't help but notice the familiar nickname.

Chanyeol gritted his teeth with this remark. Byun _fucking_ Baekhyun back at it again, acting normal after everything. Chanyeol wants to laugh on how good the other is at this.

"Gosh, he's being weird again. Can we go now? I'm starving." Baekhyun pulled his friends to walk away, leaving Chanyeol standing there as if the trauma intensifies.

Chanyeol managed to calm down and keep himself quiet for those days he continuously hears Baekhyun's usual loud voice and laugh, like he normally does. Sometimes he steals a glance and watches how Baekhyun expertly acted like the normal shit he is, as if he didn't do anything wrong for the past weekend. The other then realized how he seemed to be the only one sleeping in guilt and bothered again.

That afternoon, he actually felt thankful about having loads of work to focus with. There will be a meeting with some clients later that day so all the employees are working their asses off for the presentation. Chanyeol walked to the photocopy machine to duplicate some files when he noticed Baekhyun there, doing his own too. As much as he wanted to step back and just come back when the other is done, he decided to just wait on the corner.

_If Baekhyun can just act normally after everything, then why can't he, right?_ He says in his mind.

Baekhyun looks back at him so Chanyeol's keeps his eyes on the file he holds. When Baekhyun turns to focus back on his photocopied files, Chanyeol secretly stares at the other's back. He couldn't help but stare at the guy's unusually tight slacks. He creases his brows, seeing how the cloth hugs and emphasizes the other's figure so well.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, cusses internally as he watches the paper slowly coming out of the machine. He feels weird. His usual cool and unbothered self seems to be missing right now. Although his expert cool disguise made his conflicted thoughts unnoticeable.

It has only been seconds of unconsciously checking out the other's ass when Chanyeol immediately looks up as he noticed Baekhyun finishing with the machine and turning around. Chanyeol remained keeping his eyes anywhere but Baekhyun, he awkwardly stood there, waiting for the other to walk away. His heart starts thumping nervously against his rib when the smaller remained standing on his same position. Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, wanting to say something but he himself doesn't know what it is.

This made Chanyeol look at the other's face while he curiously scrunches his face, "Are you done?"

Baekhyun seems to jump in surprise when he heard the deep voice before gulping and getting his shit together, "Yeah, sorry." He expected the normal scenario. He'll go now and the other will proceed to his business and this awkwardness will be over.

Baekhyun didn't move though, he was drowned by the dark orbs staring directly at him like he forgot how to move. Chanyeol stared back.

_Fuck._

As if someone flicked a finger, they quickly looked away, Baekhyun walking away fast and Chanyeol walking close to the machine. Both panting frantically.

_Holy fuck._

The both of them cussed.

  
  
  
"You did great, Chanyeol." whispered one of his coworker as he sat on his swivel chair. He sighed in relief and smiled proudly as he managed to present one of the projects in front of the client. He actually felt glad after a long time.

"This is the design & advertisement we came up for Mr. Lin's project. Mr Byun Baekhyun, our assistant marketing director, will be handing out the hard copies of the blueprint for you to see it closely." Baekhyun wears his charming and confident smile as he walks around the room full of big clients. His hands are holding a bunch of folders as he hands them out one by one.

He's a head-turner, that's a fact. Chanyeol is aware of that. He can effortlessly make people look at him with that body. But what annoys Chanyeol the most is how one of the clients boldly stares at Baekhyun as if he wants to eat his ass right over the table. He's been noticing this for quite a while now as he looks at the man and Baekhyun's swinging ass respectively.

Now he finds himself inattentive with the presentation in front as he pursed his lips, creasing his forehead while he watches the guy sexually gawking at the clueless Baekhyun in front. His fists tightened underneath the table, mentally cursing the pervert and the tight slacks that are obviously to be blamed.

"If this will be widespread, then customers can be more informed about the brand we're trying to sell." Baekhyun just finished answering a client's question when the perverted guy Chanyeol has been watching raises his hand with a grin. Baekhyun slightly smiled as he motioned him for his question.

"If ever we decided to push through this, will you be there in the process?" he smugly asked. Chanyeol whispers a few curse words under his breath, he keeps himself from standing up to completely kick the guy's balls.

Baekhyun seemed to be dumbfounded at the question, he stared at the director for help but realized that the other didn't seem to get it either.

"Sorry, Sir?"

"What I meant is, if we pushed through this project with your company, then will you be there to manage the process?" he reconstructed the question but Chanyeol could see the asshole's boner trying to get himself in Baekhyun's pants gradually.

Baekhyun raised his brows when he understood the question, including the guy's hidden agenda. He isn't dumb for this.

The smaller has his usual confident smile still plastered on his face but Chanyeol could see through him now, and he can see he's getting uncomfortable.

"Well... We're not gonna be there in every process but we sure are gonna keep track of it. Our job is only to formulate it Sir. Getting the final project done is already beyond our ability." he answered politely.

Chanyeol feels his teeth clashing against each other. He couldn't help but think how he could've punch the guy if he's the one getting harassed in front. Well, it's Baekhyun. He thinks that maybe he's used to this things. Or maybe he even likes it.

Chanyeol gets even more furious.

"It's better if you could be hands on and keep track of it." the guy added as he grinned at Baekhyun. Chanyeol turns to watch Baekhyun's reaction to this but he didn't expect how the other's eyes spot his own. He straightened his frowning face as he coldly looks back at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun stares a little longer before proceeding on answering questions. Chanyeol eventually forgot mentally killing the asshole when Baekhyun started to secretly glance at him every now and then, his face unreadable.

"Thank you very much." he finished his presentation and the people started clapping their hands except Chanyeol, who's back to watching the pervert client who seems to be planning something to get Baekhyun's attention.

And he's right. Just as Baekhyun passed by beside him, his ballpen fell in front of Baekhyun's way, making the latter stop. Chanyeol didn't know how he did this, but he's sure that pathetic maniac needs to suck his own dick because he's close to beating the hell out of him. Chanyeol hates it when horny old businessmen couldn't keep themselves from harassing employees even in a supposedly professional facility.

"Oh sorry, can you get it?" he could hear the smirk in the client's voice. Baekhyun is left no choice but to bend down to reach the ballpen, making his lower figure more prominent in front of the guy's face.

_"Fucktard."_ Chanyeol cussed under his breath. He clenches his jaw when he saw how the client tilted his head to get a better view of Baekhyun's fine ass.

Maybe he really started losing his mind, because he only found himself quickly nudging the glass of water owned by the employee next to him, who's talking to someone and is completely oblivious. The glass slipped and the water splashed out on the straight table, flowing directly on the other side where the pervert is. The client flinched when the cold water splashed directly on his pants, taking his eyes away from Baekhyun.

"Shit!" the client cursed when his trousers and suit were soaked wet, making a slight commotion in the room as the other employees started to find something to wipe this off. Baekhyun stared in awe at the humiliated client, placing the ballpen over the table without the client noticing him anymore.

"Chanyeol, what happened?!" his co worker panicked when she realized it was her glass.

Chanyeol remained angry, snapping back at her with a white lie, "Your elbow nudged your glass!"

His co worker started apologizing to the client. Chanyeol sits on his back and watches them being miserable. He looks behind the commotion only to see Baekhyun watching him. He looks back with his furious expression, but the other didn't budge. His jaw remained hard as he rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me." he said before standing up and heading outside. He breathed heavily, appreciating the quiet office and walked his way to the empty restroom. He loudly shut the door of the cubicle close before locking it to lean on the wall exhaustedly.

He closed his eyes tightly as his hands slowly rubbed his pants. He felt his reoccurring problem down there and he's not even sure why.

"No, goddammit. Not now, please." he hissed as he tried rubbing it slowly against the cloth. But he only feels it getting worse as if it badly needs to be set free and solved immediately.

He heard the door locks clicking. He kept his heavy breathing quiet when he realized that there are other people outside. Although he remained rubbing his pants while his eyes are tightly closed. He thinks of a way to calm himself down and escape this dilemma. His eyes opened widely when someone started banging the door of his cubicle. It continued when he didn't answer.

He creased his brows.

"Who is it?"

No one answered but the impatient knock continued, making him click his tongue before zipping his pants and unlocking the door.

Just as he was about to curse the one knocking to an obviously used cubicle, he saw Baekhyun standing closely outside the door. Baekhyun pushed him inside before kissing him roughly. The thin walls of the cubicle are thumping loudly against his back. Chanyeol tried to keep his balance before ravishing back the other's mouth with his own.

Both of the smaller's hands are on his face, making sure to keep their lips tight. Chanyeol opened his mouth when Baekhyun's tongue demands its way in. When Baekhyun started to let out a low moan, Chanyeol's eyes opened before pulling his head away from the other. He frantically shakes his head.

"Stop―"

"Fuck me here. Yeol." he grunts as he clutches Chanyeol's shirt in so much need, "I need you now."

"Stop it, Baekhyun!" Chanyeol pushes him away, "Who the fuck gave you the right to lock us both in the bathroom and let out your sexual frustrations on me?!"

Baekhyun creases his forehead as he angrily looks at Chanyeol.

"You were the one watching me all the fucking time, Chanyeol!" Chanyeol flinches when Baekhyun angrily slaps his shoulder, "You think I didn't notice? Huh? You're watching me like a damn prey, don't you fucking deny it! And now I'm letting you do it you're pulling that shit on me?!" Baekhyun slaps him harder making Chanyeol's eyes widen even more, "God fucking dammit, just fuck me now will you!"

Chanyeol's jaw dropped with the other's dirty words. He should be used to Baekhyun's cuss-machine mouth but he couldn't help getting shocked by it every now and then. Especially how extra needy and demanding Baekhyun is now.

Before he could even answer, Baekhyun harshly pulled his head down and crashed their lips again. This time, his left hand is roaming on Chanyeol's torso down to his pants, making the taller flinch when his touch reached his aching friend.

Baekhyun pulled away in shock when he also felt the growing bulge against his hand, he stared at it with wide eyes before looking up directly at Chanyeol, his lips forming a grin.

"Oh..."

Chanyeol shakes his head as he removes Baekhyun's hand from his pants, "Please, Baekhyun... What happened that night... it was a mistake. I―"

Baekhyun blankly stares at him, puzzled, "And?" the smaller asked in confusion, glancing at his swollen bulge every now and then.

Chanyeol continues to shake his head when he couldn't find the words to continue.

"Mistakes can be repeated, especially if it's fun."

Chanyeol looks at him in disbelief.

"Look. I know you don't like Shein and I don't know why, but this isn't fair to her!" Chanyeol exclaims, remembering his guilt for his girlfriend, "It's a mistake! And we were drunk! I'm―I'm straight okay?!" his deep voice echoed within the room as he explained.

Despite all of this, Baekhyun only laughed sarcastically.

"Did you even think of that when you were kissing and fucking the hell out of me? Did you think about being straight or it being a mistake? Don't make me laugh, Chanyeol."

"Baekhyun―"

"If it really bothers you, then fine. I fuck a lot of straight guys okay? You're not the first."

Chanyeol sighs, "Listen, I love Shein okay?"

Baekhyun raises a brow, "So?"

Chanyeol creased his forehead. Baekhyun doesn't seem to understand and it makes it harder for him.

"We can just casually fuck each other without her knowing, no strings attached!"

He looks at Baekhyun with so much disbelief. He doesn't know why Baekhyun can willingly betray his own cousin for a fuck.

"You're unbelievable." Chanyeol said. Baekhyun steps closer to him, his grin coming back as he reached for the hem of Chanyeol's shirt.

"Did you like it?" Baekhyun demanding tone turns into a soft whisper when he asked.

Chanyeol eyes grew wider as his forehead creased more. He couldn't believe what he's asked. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Baekhyun chuckles. He grabs Chanyeol's belt before undoing it.

"You know what, don't answer it." Chanyeol felt weak struggling against Baekhyun's rigorous hands stripping him down below, "Let me just finish you off, it looks painful."

"Baekhyun!"

"Helping you as a friend, remember? This will be quick." Chanyeol shivered when he felt the familiar soft fingers around his length. He lets out a raging breath when the smaller wasted no time as he started pumping his hand up and down his aching cock.

"God, look at you. So hard and dripping against my palm." Baekhyun tauntingly grunts as he enjoys watching Chanyeol's pleasured face, eyes tightly closed as his head tilted upward, trying to suppress his moan.

Baekhyun moved his hand in a faster pace, the edge of his finger slightly touching the balls underneath as he continued pumping.

"I see everything, Yeol..." Baekhyun breathed closely against his neck, "I saw what you did back there at the meeting. I see all those stolen glances from you. How shameless of you to think I'm naive for that. Hmm?" he teased, moving in a slow to fast movement. His mocking remarks seem to go well with the taller's continuous grunts.

"But it's fine... we're quits. I couldn't take my eyes off you as well. Fuck, you just didn't know." he grinned before letting go of Chanyeol's throbbing shaft for a moment and instantly getting on his knees to grab the back of the taller's knees. Baekhyun maintained eye contact with Chanyeol before lewdly taking the long shaft into his mouth using Chanyeol's thighs as support, hurriedly bobbing his head. His tongue lustfully sweeps from the base to the slit, making Chanyeol let out a deep moan.

_"Jesus, Baek...."_

Baekhyun grins against his cock before moaning licentiously. With this soft and delicate mouth, no one can guess how it can say and do such filthy things. He feels the tip reaching the roof of his throat, making Chanyeol deliriously close his eyes as he prevents himself from cursing loudly.

"Fuck!"

Baekhyun looks desperately hot, sucking and licking the exceptionally huge and swollen cock in front of him. Chanyeol wasn't able to prevent himself from grabbing the other's dark locks, roughly tugging them as he fucks his mouth vigorously. He swore a lot as tiny beads of sweat formed on his temples. He felt his length twitching inside Baekhyun's warm mouth before he exploded his load inside, which the other gladly swallowed.

He exhaustedly leans against the wall as they both panted heavily. Baekhyun wipes the slight trace of white liquid off the corner of his lips. He stood up and buttoned Chanyeol's pants because the other seemed to be too dazed to zip his own pants. He looks at the floor as Baekhyun watches him in amusement.

"Think of this as a gift of gratitude, for teaching that perv a lesson." he picks something from his pocket, "And if you really don't want to do it again then I guess I'm cool with it..." he casually said. Chanyeol thought he'll start to leave now but Baekhyun puts a piece of hard paper inside his pocket.

"For now." he added with a grin before leaving Chanyeol holding his breath. He heard the splashing of water from the sink before the door opened. It took him a moment to completely conclude that Baekhyun left. He exhaled the breath he held for a moment.

Baekhyun is really dangerous, making him do things he didn't think he could. Being near him makes Chanyeol feel extremely sinful.

He huffed as he fixed his slightly crumpled shirt. He made sure he doesn't look really fucked before going out of the restroom. He didn't see Baekhyun for the rest of the day.

Or at least he made sure not to.  
  
  


x

Chanyeol walked out of the lobby when his phone vibrated. His heart raced when he saw the name on the screen but he gulped when he decided to answer.

"Chanyeol! Why haven't you been answering my calls?! I was worried sick!" he slightly pulled the speaker away from his ear with the sudden loud greeting.

"I-I'm sorry, Shein. I was..." he clears his throat when he stuttered, "I was just busy."

"Busy? Busy with your band?"

Chanyeol stopped when he heard this. He didn't know how Shein knew about him getting back with the band.

"Who told you?"

"My friend saw you." she seriously answers, Chanyeol knows Shein is now suppressing her anger, "Haven't I told you―?"

Chanyeol sighed, he tried to calm himself as his tiredness starts to mix with Shein's continuous blabbering.

"I really want to play music again, okay? Please, love. Let's not fight over this anymore." he said in a low voice. He's tired and this is the last thing he wants.

"No! How many times, Chanyeol?! How many times have I told you that this shit of a band will get you nowhere!" she hissed angrily. Chanyeol felt the trigger being pulled when she insulted the band. His jaw hardened as he tried to collect himself.

_Calm yourself, Chanyeol. Don't yell at her._

"STOP, OKAY?!"

Shein stopped talking when he yelled.

"I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just doing the only fucking thing that makes me happy, what's wrong with that?!" he roared, completely forgetting the mantra he said in his mind.

She wasn't able to answer when Chanyeol yelled in anger. He frustratingly massaged his forehead with his hand as silence takes over.

"You're yelling at me?" she asked softly.

"Please...love. Let's not talk about this." he tried to sweet talk.

Shein remained quiet as if she was really caught off guard, then she calmly talks.

"Okay. Let's talk about other things." Chanyeol felt relieved when she finally lets it go, "I just want to say that I decided to stay here for another six months."

Chanyeol creased his forehead, "What?"

She didn't answer. It's like she casually dropped the most normal news that will surely break the other's heart.

"B-but I thought you're going home next month?" he sounded like a lost puppy when his voice shook.

"I need to stay here because they liked my performance, they're offering me more projects." she coldly said, making sure she wins over this argument.

"But...do you want to stay? You want to go home too, right?" Chanyeol hopefully asked. He thinks that Shein coming back home will be the solution to all of his problems. All this confusion.

"Do you want me to go home?" she stays cold.

"Of course, love... I miss you."

"Then quit the fucking band!" she cussed. She was like a volcano suddenly erupting with her tone. She obviously waited for the perfect moment to go back to this topic.

Chanyeol cussed under his breath. He heared his girlfriend's heavy breathing from the other line. Just as he thought this argument is over, he's wrong.

"Shein..."

"I won't go back there unless you obey me! And since you decided to choose that band of yours, then I might as well stay here forever!" her voice broke with her continuous yelling. She's obviously hysterical from the other line. Chanyeol stared at his steering wheel, his eyes shot red. These arguments with Shein are getting more and more tiring.

"So you chose to stay there just because you didn't get what you want?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"You quitted before, Chanyeol. What difference does it make now? That is all I am asking, Chanyeol. If you really love me then do it!"

"You know what? Let's talk when you're not being hysterical. I'm tired." he coldly said. Before Shein could even answer, he dropped the call.

Chanyeol tried to collect himself but failed when he hits the steering wheel with so much frustration.

He loves his girlfriend so much. But it's getting more tiring and unhealthy because of her insecurities.

He checked a new message from his phone that made him dizzier.

_From: Sehun_

_Hyung, we're at Luna's. You coming or what?_

He typed a reply with the first thought he thinks is right.

_To: Sehun_

_Can't. Working overtime tonight._

A little white lie won't hurt the band mate, right? Chanyeol just doesn't know what to do. With the recent phone call, his mind is filled with nothing but stress, confusion and frustration.

He contemplated for a few minutes before he started the engine, surely not going home.

The whole ride, all he thinks is how Shein isn't being fair.

Again.  
  


  
  
Chanyeol stood straight in front of a cream-colored door. His eyes moved from the door to the card he's holding.

"You sure your friend lives here?" the old man asked him grumpily, clearly judging him looking from his head to toe.

"Uh.... yes." he awkwardly nodded. The old man raised his brows.

"Didn't know the night owl has friends like you."

"Sorry?"

"The night owl. That's what we call him here. He's always out late at night. I actually am pretty sure he's not there so you came here for nothing. But if you insist on checking then go ahead." he shakes his head as he describes Baekhyun, "Kids nowadays..." Chanyeol heard him whisper as he walks away.

Chanyeol gulped with what the old man said. Knowing Baekhyun, he might not really be here tonight. He may be somewhere, partying and getting drunk, or sucking someone's dick. _I don't know. _Chanyeol thought.

He comforted himself by thinking that at least the former wouldn't see him being this problematic right now, outside his door. Driving late at night to the address written on the card after pushing him away earlier that day. That would've been embarrassing.

Chanyeol couldn't even think of the exact reason why he's here. Of all places. Why did he think about going here first? His mind is in chaos. Fortunately, the smaller might not be here. What could've been his reason to say?

_Hey Baekhyun?_

_I came here to <del>fuck you</del> talk to you?_

_I'm kinda pissed right now, would you mind a <del>mind-blowing sex</del> little talk?_

Chanyeol rolled his eyes with the thoughts. _Stupid. Idiot. Go home and jack off. Save yourself from the trouble and humiliation._

"Yeol?"

He jumped in surprise when a voice talked from his back. Baekhyun stood behind him, mouth opened in awe as if he didn't really expect the other. (Well.)

Chanyeol scanned Baekhyun's clothes which is totally the opposite of his fashionista get-ups. Baekhyun looks like he's off to a cozy campfire party. His gray sweatpants loosely hanged around his waist, he wears an oversized white shirt plus a beanie and slippers matching the color of his pants. The round specs didn't escape Chanyeol's sight, especially the paper bag that is seem to be full of chips and canned drinks.

Chanyeol couldn't find what to say again. Baekhyun stares at him with his still puzzled expression before his face relaxed. He pursed his lips, as if trying to suppress a smile.

"Do you wanna come in?" Baekhyun blurted out before any of them gets eaten by mosquitoes outside.

Chanyeol just nodded, Baekhyun walked around him to the door, slightly struggling to open it with the bags in his arms.

He roamed his gaze around the place when he followed inside. The place isn't big, it isn't small either. It isn't extravagant, just very simple and minimal. Very unlike his house, yet it feels a lot more cozy here. He couldn't help but mentally cuss their family's wealth for living in such a cold and huge house alone.

"Welcome to my place." Baekhyun lets out a half smile when he noticed Chanyeol observing the place in detail. Chanyeol kept on doing this, partially to prevent himself looking at the other boy.

"The old man...said that you're not usually here at this hour." Chanyeol said, trying to initiate a talk.

Baekhyun opens two cans of soda as he shrugs, "Yeah. Every night actually. Tonight's just an exception because I don't really feel like partying." he hands out a can to Chanyeol, "Coincidentally, you're here. Good choice then, isn't it?" he walked into his couch, motioning the taller to sit as well, in which Chanyeol obliged.

"I actually felt that you're coming. My instincts are never questionable, I can feel things like a lot of women." he pointed at his head as he laughed. Chanyeol grinned with the remark.

"Maybe you're just horny."

"Both, actually." the both of them chuckled.

Baekhyun took a sip before placing his can over the center table, giving his full attention to Chanyeol.

"Now that you're here, I actually expect you'll fuck me now."

"You are so straightforward, has anybody ever told you that?" Chanyeol shook his head with humor making Baekhyun laugh, although he actually noticed how the taller has no plan denying it.

"Don't even ask!" he says with a smug smile, "So...did something happen?"

Chanyeol slowly lost his grin. Baekhyun noticed his reluctance.

"C'mon, you can tell me."

Chanyeol looks down to his lips before looking down the floor.

"Well...Shein and I actually fought...because of the band." his voice went softer making Baekhyun lean closer to hear, "And she said she'll stay there for six more months for work."

"For work?" Baekhyun's voice overpowers Chanyeol's in terms of volume, "She said for work?"

"Yeah... And she said she decided about this because I won't leave the band like she wants." Chanyeol gulped. He didn't notice how from the side of his eyes, Baekhyun's face crumpled in disgust and sarcasm while shaking his head, mentally cursing the biggest bitch he knows.

"I don't get it. She's being unfair to me. I don't know why she couldn't support me like how I support her." his voice got softer, as if he finally let it out how he wanted it.

Baekhyun clenches his jaw with his sarcastic smile as he watches the poor clueless guy in front of him. He tries to fake a smile before patting Chanyeol's shoulder.

"Shein's normally like that, maybe she really is just busy. I mean, maybe you're both stressed and you happened to let out your frustration to each other." he wanted to puke with his own words, if this is real Baekhyun speaking he would've spilled the beans of his evil cousin already but he's just not the real one now. He's the 'Angel-Cousin-Who's-About-to-be-Fucked-by-your-Boy' right now, and it's better.

"Don't let it get into you, Yeol." he forced a concern smile, Chanyeol nodded with the assurance, feeling a little better with the advice. Baekhyun took this as an opportunity to move closer to the other.

"Good thing you didn't go home and leave this in your mind as you sleep, that would've been worse." he partially stands up before sitting on Chanyeol's lap, "Now..."

Chanyeol stared at him, grinning in disbelief because of the swift action.

"Really, Baekhyun?" he chuckled and the smaller grins back and started touching his neck.

"What?" Baekhyun asks, pretending to sound casual, "this is the real stress reliever right? This is my real help to you." he removed his specs and threw it somewhere before leaning down to the other's anticipating lips.

"Don't spoil yourself too much," Chanyeol says between the kisses, "I'm still guilty about doing this behind her back, I'm just mad right―" Baekhyun didn't let him finish when he demandingly puts his lips against the other, wrapping his legs around Chanyeol's waist to get closer.

"What she's doing right now is still worse than us fucking, so don't hurt yourself that much." his grin seemed to be plastered permanently on his lips as he takes off Chanyeol's shirt, revealing the taller's toned body he couldn't wait to ravish.

Baekhyun's kisses moved from his lips to his jaw, down to his neck and shoulders, leaving light marks on his sensitive skin. "I liked it."

"Hmm?"

"That Friday night, if that's what you're asking a while ago." Baekhyun pulled his face away because of this. He smiled wider.

"I know that. I do. But I can do so much better..." Baekhyun smugly said, letting Chanyeol take off his shirt.

Chanyeol lets out a deep laugh.

Baekhyun gets hornier with the sound of Chanyeol's laugh. It sounds so good and sexy that it makes him want to sit on his face.

"How better?" the taller asked with a fake doubt.

"You'll know if you just fuck me now." he hissed, bringing their lips back together hungrily. Their tongues explored each other's mouth like a paradise.

The atmosphere seemed to get hotter and intensified when they just found themselves roughly getting each other off their clothes. They didn't mind not reaching the bed because the couch seemed to be the best place at the moment.

"If it still bothers you that much," Baekhyun whispers against Chanyeol's skin, "then don't worry, _she will never know._" he said before completely losing himself with Chanyeol's touch. The taller didn't seem to notice the line reference when all he could remember that night is how Baekhyun's moans perfectly went well with his own.


	12. 11-Mad

"AH!" Baekhyun screams on top of his lungs as he tilts his head upward, "Fuck, that's it! _Gah_― Ah! Hit it again!" he cried in pleasure as he felt the tip hit his spot.

He exhaustedly bends his head down and buries his head on the pillow, letting out muffled whimpers of pleasure as he feels his climax nearing.

"God―Baek! Ah!" Chanyeol growls, his voice sounding rough from his throat, "Fuck... It feels so good..." he grunted as his fingers dig deeper into the other's sensitive skin.

Baekhyun finds himself staring at the window, imagining stars and heavens as he reached his peak, it wasn't hard to conclude that the other followed closely when his movements eventually became slower and gentle, cumming inside Baekhyun's tight hole. Chanyeol's eyes are tightly closed as his weight completely fell beside the smaller.

They both laid on their backs, staring at the ceiling, trying to get over from that one of a kind sex they had. After a few seconds, Chanyeol started laughing, his exhaustion and sleepiness already evident from it.

"Why?" he heard Baekhyun asked as his eyelids got heavier.

"That..." Chanyeol chuckles, "was fucking amazing." he muttered before he completely went to his dreamland, hearing Baekhyun's faint laugh before he slept.

Just as he expected, he woke up alone. Chanyeol took a few minutes sitting on his bed, remembering what happened the previous night. The same scenario happens every morning after their escapades, especially when they started doing it in his house. Chanyeol never wakes up with Baekhyun.

But what should he expect? Before he even starts complaining, he's hit by the realization that this set up is nothing but a call of lust. Sex when stressed, sex when drunk, sex when the moment feels right and sex when he argues with his girlfriend. This is what it is all about, _casual sex._

In the office, they're on their normal scenario. Chanyeol is back to being the cool guy everybody loves and consistently annoys the hell out of Baekhyun. While Baekhyun, the usual sassy brat who tells him to fuck off. In short, they're back to their usual and normal relationship. Everyone's used to it.

Except for the fact that they try to _fuck_ each other in the bathroom. That's what everyone doesn't know, of course.

What Chanyeol doesn't know, on the other hand, is that he's starting to get addicted. It's getting out of his own control. He finds the object of his wet dreams very clearly now and he's starting to accept it. He's starting to embrace the fact that he's jacking off in the middle of the night with the lewd thoughts he has, not about his girlfriend, but her cousin. He realizes every shit he does only after he did it. _Oh fuck, I slept with Baekhyun. Shit, I cheated on Shein. Shit, this is wrong._ His guilt haunts him everyday. But what's worse is how he lets it haunt him every night when he decides to repeat it again.

This is his guilty pleasure. And the sight of Baekhyun on his bed drives him crazy as he craves for it.

Deep inside him though, is an unconscious wish that he could actually wake up not alone for once.

He just wants to talk and ask about things honestly. Maybe try to get to know him more. Baekhyun, of course, wants something better for this setup as well. But unlike Chanyeol, he knows what it is.

And he wants to work on it.

"Hey, Baek!" Heechul looks around as he walks near Baekhyun, "I've been looking for you. I need your help."

"Got no money, friend."

"Not about that, idiot!" he leans on Baekhyun as he carefully whispered, "Gayoung thinks Changmin cheats on her with Minah." he muttered before looking around again.

"Really?" Baekhyun nosily reacts with the gossip he heard, "hey, is she sure? I mean...Minah..." he looks puzzled thinking about the known to be nice coworker.

"Exactly! I couldn't believe it as well. But Gayoung said she figured out why Changmin excuses himself to the bathroom at lunch. She started to doubt and when she saw the both of them there, that's where she became sure of it."

_What's with the bathroom, really? _Baekhyun thinks.

"Well then, did she already confront him?" he asked.

"No. She just started crying uncontrollably. She won't talk, she just told me when I wouldn't stop asking." Heechul clicks his tongue, "that's what we need to do, Baek. We need to catch him in the act to make sure."

"Huh?" Baekhyun narrows his eyes, "Excuse me. But I'm busy and I got no time for other people's shit."

"Quit it, bitch!" Heechul exclaims with his teeth gritted, "Gayoung has been a good friend to you, let's just give a little help to her this time."

"Heechul, I know that you're doing this because you're so bored and you need juicy dramas but I really have more important things to do first."

"We'll just wait and see if they really are doing something in the bathroom! Come on!" Heechul stomped his feet like a child.

Baekhyun sighs.

"Fine. But just this time! If we don't―"

"Yeah, shut up. Shut up."

Baekhyun swears he's close to strangling the life out of his friend.

It's lunch and he's supposed to be out and eating, but now he's here, hiding in the men's comfort room.

"Damn you, Heechul." he hissed.

"Let's just wait, okay? I'm sure they'll go here. Gayoung said that Changmin goes here everyday at lunch which I figured out because majority of the employees are out or at the pantry."

They waited for a few more minutes but there's no one going in. Baekhyun leans on the marble wall.

The comfort room remained quiet.

"You know what? This is useless. This isn't the kind of shit that I do!" Baekhyun crossed his arms as he faced Heechul.

"But this is the only way we could know the truth!"

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at this. He doesn't even know why he's doing this. Gayoung isn't exactly his friend. She talks a lot, she's annoying plus she subtly checks out Chanyeol every single time so he doesn't get why he helps her right now.

"I could just hit on him so he'll leave Minah, then pass him back to Gayoung like the good friend I am. What's with all this hiding?"

Heechul glares at him. Baekhyun isn't fully serious with this (though he's capable of course) but he just finds this hiding in a rest room cubicle ridiculous.

"As if, Baek." Heechul shakes his head, "Guys like Changmin won't hook up with you, you know that." he chuckled.

Baekhyun eyes his laughing friend with disbelief.

"Are you saying that I only get ugly guys?"

"No, silly. You get hot guys all the time, I know that. But you know, those serious type of guys...the 'smart-is-the-new-sexy' kinda guys. They all want pussies and we got no chance with them." Heechul casually said, not noticing how Baekhyun pants in rage.

"How fucking dare you?"

"I'm just being honest here, okay!" Heechul responds with sass, even raising his brow. "C'mon let's be real here...all the guys we ever had sex with are oozing hot, yes, but they're dumb as fuck and they're all jerks." Baekhyun gasped with the continuous insult he's hearing, Heechul doesn't even care as he plays with his nails like he's not annoying the hell out of the other.

Baekhyun's mouth remained slightly opened, his hands both on his waist. Their original agenda seemed to be forgotten as they got into an argument.

"I can do anyone, Heechul. I know getting the best boys is a difficulty for you but it ain't for me, honey." he said, even swirling his finger in the air.

"Psh." Baekhyun became more irritated when Heechul even laughed at him.

Baekhyun watches how his friend laughs at him. And wow, his inner bitch is getting provoked.

"Hah..." Heechul stops laughing as he continued to pull the trigger, "Really? You think Changmin or Minho's gonna hook up with you? They won't!" he asked before cracking up again. Baekhyun pursed his lips.

"Donghae? Leeteuk?"

Baekhyun didn't answer. He tries to keep his cool.

"Oh God! Chanyeol! You think Chanyeol will?" Heechul bursts out into heavy laughter, even clutching his tummy, "Don't make me laugh, Baek..." Baekhyun felt his own blood boiling for the laughing asshole.

_If you only fucking knew._

"Fuck you."

"Uh oh, not even me, Baek!" Baekhyun wanted to cover his ears to escape Heechul's airy and annoying laugh.

As he was just about to kick Heechul's face, the other immediately stopped laughing when they both heard a noise from someone coming inside the comfort room.

"That may be him, Baek!" Heechul exclaimed under his breath.

"Sshh!!" they bend down to hide their figures. The sound of the faucet in front of their cubicle was heard.

"Baek, I think it's him!"

"Sshh!! Keep your voice down!" Baekhyun sharply stared at Heechul.

"Who's there?" a familiar deep voice came from the sink in front of them. Heechul creased his forehead, not recognizing this but Baekhyun knows better.

It isn't Changmin.

"Is it him?" Heechul asked, Baekhyun just shook his head as he slowly stands up to take a look.

"What are you doing?" Heechul tries to pull Baekhyun back down.

"Is someone here?" the voice repeated, they could see his feet walking near their cubicle.

"Oh shit, Baek!" Heechul panicked.

"Sshh!! Stay here! And keep quiet!" Heechul looks at him with so much curiosity but before he could even answer, Baekhyun opened the door and closed it again, leaving him alone inside.

"Yeol..."

Chanyeol's brows creased when he saw Baekhyun came out from the cubicle. He tilted his head to try and see the inside of the cubicle but Baekhyun soon shut it close, giving him a wide and forced smile.

"Were you talking to someone?" Chanyeol eyed him suspiciously.

"Hmm?" Baekhyun's lips formed a straight line as he thinks of an alibi, "Silly! No, I was just singing."

Chanyeol raises his brow before grinning at Baekhyun.

"I actually thought you're sucking someone in there." he chuckled at the smaller, making the other roll his eyes.

"Do you really think I'm that lewd?" Baekhyun narrows his eyes as Chanyeol continues to flash him his boyish grin.

"Say everytime you do that to me, yeah."

"You just indirectly implies that you want me to suck you here now, do you?"

"Why? Will you?"

They both grin at each other, as if challenging one another for a quick adventure.

What Baekhyun actually forgot is how his friend inside the cubicle currently couldn't process the exchanged conversation he hears.

_What the fuck?_ Heechul cusses without using his voice.

Baekhyun remembers Heechul in an instant but instead of stopping, he steps towards Chanyeol until their bodies are too close, making Chanyeol look at him in surprise.

He tiptoed and plants a quick peck on Chanyeol's lips, making sure their lips will make that clicking sound to inform his peasant friend about _what's going on._

Chanyeol remained standing there, anticipating more. But Baekhyun stands straight on his feet, flashing him a teasing smile.

_Listen how you're so wrong, bitch. _He says in his head.

Chanyeol chuckles and shakes his head, "God, you frustrate me so much, Baekhyun." Baekhyun flashed his teeth as his smile widens, he could hear Heechul's faint gasp from the other side of the door.

"You wanna come tonight?" Chanyeol timidly asks, still not used to initiating his sexual urges to Baekhyun. Baekhyun finds it cute, but he doesn't really like it.

He doesn't like him to be _shy. _He doesn't like it _slow and gentle._

"You wanna fuck me?"

Chanyeol's eyes widen with the other's plain-spoken words. _Jesus Christ, that mouth. _He thought.

"Baekhyun..."

"What?" Baekhyun looks clueless about what he just said. "C'mon, Yeol. It's not like it's a new thing to you." he smiled.

Chanyeol sighs, "Fine. Well yeah, cause it's been days and....."

"Someone's horny." Baekhyun faked his curious face. Chanyeol glares at him with a hint of smile.

"Shut it, Baekhyun."

"I'm just kidding!" Baekhyun crosses his arms on his chest, "Well, I can't. I'm busy so..."

He caught a glimpse disappointment on the taller's face but was immediately covered up as he nodded.

"Okay. Next week, then? I have a gig this Friday so..." Baekhyun's face lightened up when he heard this.

"Oh I'll watch!" Chanyeol looks at him in surprise when he quickly exclaimed this, "I―uh, well. Your band is good. You play good so I'll watch."

"Really?" Chanyeol looks at him as he pursed his lips.

"Yeah, I like how you play guitar. I told you that, right?" Baekhyun casually says before narrowing his eyes on Chanyeol, "Jeez, you're blushing Yeol." he teased.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes before intentionally bumping his shoulder to the smaller as he walks out, "Shut it."

Baekhyun's eyes followed his back for a few seconds, thinking how he'll successfully execute his plan this Friday. It took him a moment before he remembered Heechul, he immediately pushed the door open to see his friend seating on the closed toilet, glaring at him.

"You're unbelievable, Baekhyun." Heechul hisses, "I'm so fucking impressed."

"So that's it? And you even have no plans on telling me? Or even Jieun?" Heechul continues to nag Baekhyun, who's eating like a pig as they head out to grab a late and quick lunch.

"Why do I need to tell you? We're fuck buddies, alright? It's not like we're getting married!" Baekhyun drinks as Heechul continuously scolds him like a mom.

"He's your cousin's boyfriend, you dumbass!" Heechul tried not to scream this so people won't hear.

"So what?" Baekhyun stared at him like he's implying that he should remember all the things Shein did to him.

"When did you even listen to me, Byun?" Heechul sighed in defeat, exhaustedly leaning on the chair.

"Sorry, Mom." Baekhyun sarcastically said.

"Do what you want, Baek." Heechul responds, "But I'm telling you, don't lose your own game. Stop making such impulsive decisions. You know how this set-up will get you into so much trouble." Baekhyun rolled his eyes as he heard another lecture.

"Fine, okay? Can we move on from it?" Baekhyun says before wiping his lips with a tissue, "We need to go at Alley Pub this Friday night."

"Eh? It's boring there!"

"Well it won't be, this Friday." Baekhyun leans on the table with his hands, "Chanyeol's band is playing so expect some screaming hoes there."

Heechul scoffs, "Ah, are we trying to be the supportive fubu here?"

"Gosh, will you shut up?" Baekhyun scrunches his face, "I need to do something to spice up my life."

"What is it?"

"Well..." he purses his lips before continuing, "I feel like I'm not really liking our current set up so I want to try and do something about it."

"Huh? Why? What do you want?" Heechul looked at him, puzzled.

Baekhyun didn't answer immediately. He smiled and hesitated like a girl, making Heechul glare at him.

"What?" Heechul intriguingly raises his brow as he eyes Baekhyun who remains silently tittering, "Say it! Damn it."

"Fine." Baekhyun sighs before pursing his lips, suppressing a grin, "I want Chanyeol to go harder on me." he muttered in a low voice.

"What?" Heechul creases his forehead with this remark, "Is your needy hole not fucked hard by him yet that you want more?" Baekhyun wanted to stuff the papers in his friend's mouth with the dirty words but then he chose to ignore. Heechul is obviously still shocked.

"We're doing it harder when I yell at him to do so, but unless I won't, he's treating me like some vulnerable glass that could break anytime!" Baekhyun complained. Heechul continues to stare at him in disbelief as if he's some whore who's needy for fuck.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he continues, "You don't understand! I don't like it gentle, I want it rough. I'm not his pathetic little girlfriend who'll ask for some petty lovemaking. I want sex. And when I say sex, I mean I need the ultimate fuck of my life." he exhaled as he continuously said it without breathing. Fortunately, there's no one near them or else the person might've been so traumatized with the topic.

"You're unbelievable." was the only thing Heechul was able to say.

"What? I have my needs!"

"Then why don't you just fuck other guys!" Heechul exclaims, "the ones you know that'll do you rough. It's a lot better and you won't even have to commit a major sin of stealing someone's boyfriend!" Heechul responded, obviously still against the idea.

Baekhyun was taken aback but recovered immediately.

"No way!"

Heechul narrows his eyes on the other.

Baekhyun's face softens. He clears his throat.

"Can't you see that I'm busy? I don't have the time to find other guys. And besides, I'll admit that Chanyeol's quite a catch. Physically and in all other aspects. You know that. I just need to improve his performance a little." Baekhyun looked down on his nails to avoid his friend's intensely judging stare.

"Really now, Baekhyun?" Heechul says, "He's actually a catch of some other girl that happens to be your cousin until you messed around and sneakily steals him. He's a catch, yeah. But wench, he is NOT your catch!"

Baekhyun's jaw dropped with his friend's another lecturing remark.

"Why are you being such a bitch to me, Heechul?" Baekhyun gasps, "FY-fucking-I, we're just fuck buddies, okay? Calm your tits! Another fact check: Chanyeol likes it and Shein is fucking some other dude somewhere too, it's a win-win situation of a fuckathon!" Baekhyun couldn't believe they're arguing over this.

"Just make sure you aren't only doing this to avenge on Shein. Using Chanyeol isn't the answer, Baek. It's a bad idea."

"Oh, is it?"

"You're horrible, Byun Baekhyun."

x

"Hyung, didn't you say Baekhyun will come tonight?" Sehun asked, not even sparing a glance at elder as he roams his eyes around the pub.

Chanyeol threw him a sharp look as he goes with the ridiculous first name basis again when Baekhyun's obviously older than him. He spanks Sehun's head with his palm.

"Aw!"

"Will you just help us setting up these instruments?" he scolded in which Sehun plainly replies with a childish pout.

He badly wants to tell Sehun. _You wouldn't be able to handle his personality, his boldness, his style of life._ Chanyeol knows how Baekhyun excites Sehun's maturing personality but he also knows that Sehun is still younger and he doesn't see things like they do. He doesn't want that slight innocence in him to be completely tainted. He wouldn't be able to handle _Byun Baekhyun_ himself.

And besides, Chanyeol still feels bad about having sex with Baekhyun at Sehun's house, much worse is inside his parents' bedroom. How literally and figuratively fucked is that?

"Good evening, guys!" a round of applause greets them as Kris welcomes the guests with a few remarks. Chanyeol kept his usual shy smile plastered on his face, noticing how some girls smile at him and even wave their hands. Chanyeol smiles back before completely looking away, feeling uncomfortable.

He tries his best to avoid eye contact with some girls until his eyes fall on familiar orbs. Baekhyun watches him with his usual teasing and charming aura, as if full of wonders and danger. His eyes stopped there for a moment until he felt the need to blink and realize the fact that he's there to play some music.

"Please do enjoy yourselves!" the crowd roared as Kris motions Sehun to start the beat, making the rest of them follow.

_So this is what you meant, when you said that you were spent?_

Baekhyun meaningfully looks at Heechul, who's in awe watching the band playing. Ji eun's on his other side, watching them as well, but nonetheless, clueless.

He brings back his attention to the band in front, sparing them a slight glance each before completely watching Chanyeol alone.

He's not aware how he noticed every single move the other does, how he bites his lower lip when he does some fast chords.

_It's time to begin, isn't it? I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit, I'm just the same as I was._

God, how he wants to bite those lips too.

Chanyeol caught his eyes again, making him smile to the taller. But Chanyeol didn't smile back, instead he shuts his eyes close, tilts his head upward as he continues to viciously strum his instrument, exposing his neck sparkling with sweat. Baekhyun wets his lips with his tongue. God _fucking_ dammit.

How beautiful could it be if it's marked by his teeth.

Instead of getting ashamed, Baekhyun delightedly smiled with his thoughts.

_And that guitar, go look at that guitar._

Don't you just want him to hold you close like that as he play magic on you with his rough and big hands?

"Holy shit, I'm going nuts." Baekhyun cursed while laughing.

"Huh?" Heechul wasn't able to hear this because of paying attention to the song, "Hey, where are you going?"

He waves the cigarette stick in front of Heechul and the other understood, "I'll be back."

After three songs, Chanyeol roams his gaze to where the other was a while ago but he didn't see him there. He also saw Sehun looking like he's trying to find the same person, making him more eager to find Baekhyun first and take him away from here. He was about to walk away from the stage when Kris calls him.

"Chanyeol!" Kris motions his hand to him, "I want you to meet some people here!" Chanyeol took a last glance around the pub before smiling to the people in front of him. He was asked to sit down and talk to them, in which made him irritated inside. When he realized he got no choice, his mind totally forgot what and who he needs to do.

Baekhyun threw and stepped on the second stick he finished when he decided to go back inside, he walked a few steps when someone from his right patted him.

"Sehun?"

"Hello, Baekhyun!" Sehun's eyes crinkled as he flashed his wide smile at Baekhyun who finds it awkward but nevertheless, smiled back at him.

"Long time no see!" Sehun chuckles, "Oh, are you going home?" his smile faded when he realized Baekhyun is outside so he must be.

Of course not.

"Want me to give you a ride?" Sehun added. Baekhyun raised his brows, he didn't even know Sehun has a license.

"No, actually my friends are still inside so..."

"Ah..."

"Why? Are you going home already?" he asked to keep the conversation going. Despite barely knowing the younger, Baekhyun finds him fun to be with.

Plus, he's so attractive. Not the type of Baekhyun's usual toys, but it's a fact that he's hot.

"We're done playing but I don't really want to go just yet." Sehun grins, "Well, I have something to say―"

Baekhyun looks over his shoulder before grinning back.

"Actually, I suddenly want to go home." Baekhyun's lips curve into a half-smile, "Wanna go with me? You said you don't wanna go home yet, right?"

Sehun looks at him in surprise. Although his eyes lit up with the offer.

"Are you..." Sehun stutters, "Y-you want me to―"

"I know what you're thinking." Baekhyun shakes his head but he chuckled, "Well if you wanna do it then it's fine." he added to play with his mind even more.

"Wha―what?" Sehun laughs nervously.

Baekhyun laughs with Sehun's uneasy expression. He couldn't find the confident guy he was talking to a while ago. When his target gets closer, he links his arm around Sehun's.

"So...where's your car?"

"Sehun."

Sehun turns around making Baekhyun lose his grasp on his arms. Chanyeol stood behind them, wearing his grim expression.

"Chanyeol-hyung." Sehun's back to his calm state as he faces Chanyeol, Baekhyun tries hard not to smirk, "What're you doing here? You're with Kris-hyung, right?"

"Go back there, Kris is asking why you disappeared."

"But hyung!!" Sehun shakes his head in an instant, "Just tell him I went home! Baekhyun and I are going somewhere."

Chanyeol's eyes fell on Baekhyun. He pursed his lips in a thin line as the vixen stares back at him, faking innocence.

"Really? Where are you going?" he seriously asked, pretending to be curious.

"Well, he said we could―" Sehun realizes his about to spill some shit, "Wait―whatever Hyung! Don't ask! We're going okay?" he lightly pushed Baekhyun's shoulder to continue walking.

"No. You stay here." Chanyeol commanded. His words felt heavier.

"Hyung..." Sehun secretly glares at Chanyeol who didn't care and continued to stare at the smaller one beside him.

"You didn't bring your car, don't be such an idiot, Sehun." Sehun's eyes widened when Chanyeol spilled his secret. Baekhyun wants to crack up with the tension between them now.

"So? We'll grab a cab okay? Aish." he grabbed Baekhyun's wrist.

"Listen to me when I say you fucking stay here, Sehun." Chanyeol's jaw clenches. Sehun wasn't able to say anything but he didn't let go of Baekhyun's wrist. "I'll give him a ride home." Baekhyun felt shivers with the taller's tone.

"But Hyung..." Sehun only groaned but he didn't dare to complain when Chanyeol threw him a sharp look.

"Hey, Luhan-Hyung!" Chanyeol calls.

Luhan's laugh fades when he saw the three of them, beside him are two girls laughing with him. Sehun shuts his eyes close.

"Oh, hey. What're you guys doing here?" he gestured the girls to wait behind him.

"Hyung, can you give Sehun a ride home?" Chanyeol directly asked. Sehun deeply sighed.

Luhan raises his brows as he looks from Baekhyun to Sehun, who's not even looking at him. Sehun's jaw hardened.

"Sure." he turns around to the girls behind him, "I'll just see you next time. Thanks for watching tonight." they groaned in disappointment but left soon enough. Luhan faces Sehun again.

"Let's go, Hun," Luhan said, Sehun finally looks at him, it lasted for a few seconds before the younger walks ahead without waiting for him.

Luhan shakes his head as he chuckled, "He's so weird." his gaze follows Sehun's back before facing the two again, "Keep safe, Baek, Chanyeol!" he smiled before running to follow Sehun.

Baekhyun follows their fading figures before looking back at Chanyeol, who's seriously looking at him.

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun pretended to be puzzled, making Chanyeol comb his hair in frustration. He turned around and started to walk away, shocking Baekhyun.

"Hey, where are you going?!" Baekhyun shouted as he tried to keep track of Chanyeol's walking pace.

"Going home, aren't you supposed to go somewhere?" Chanyeol is still serious.

"Wait, I don't have a car! And I was about to go home a while ago..." Baekhyun mumbled.

Chanyeol faces him in disbelief.

"So you mean Sehun is pertaining to your place when he said you both have to go somewhere?" his voice raised.

Baekhyun nods.

"Uh huh, why?" Baekhyun coolly answered.

Chanyeol shakes his head. He sarcastically chuckled before walking towards his car.

"Wait, Yeol! Can you at least give me a ride?" Baekhyun asks, _with both ways you think of_, "Besides, you left something in my apartment, you can get it now."

Chanyeol looks at him, trying to read him. Baekhyun keeps his sweet face on.

Chanyeol coldly answers, "Fine." he closed the door and started the engine.

Baekhyun smirks.

Chanyeol didn't say a single word aside from the answers Baekhyun needed to hear for the whole ride. The taller tried to keep his cool as he continued answering endless questions about Sehun. Baekhyun seemed to push his limits.

Baekhyun doesn't regret.

"So when are you guys playing again?" Baekhyun asks as they walk on the hallway of his apartment. Chanyeol just shrugged, Baekhyun tries hard not to smile.

"You don't know?"

"Well Sehun goes to Hanyang University, if that's what you want to hear." Chanyeol snapped. Baekhyun bites his lip with the obviously annoyed remark.

They reached his apartment door, Baekhyun walks ahead, unlocking the door. He opened the dim lights, but not the living room lighting.

Chanyeol leans on the wall, still not saying anything. Baekhyun takes off his coat and boots, grinning as he feels being watched from behind. He pursed his lips as he faces the taller.

"What have I left here?" Chanyeol frowned.

"Are you mad, Yeol?" Baekhyun asked. Chanyeol raises his brow, biting his lip,

"No." he says, losing his patience, "What makes you say that?"

Baekhyun shrugs.

"I don't know...Maybe because you forgot that we always fuck in your house so there's really no reason for you to leave anything here."

Chanyeol's forehead creases with the realization. He narrowed his eyes at Baekhyun.

"Oh." he nods, "So I just came here for nothing. Okay, cool." he sarcastically responded, standing straight. He doesn't even know why he believed Baekhyun. The person likes tricks, he should've been aware of that.

Baekhyun sits on the wooden table and shrugged, playing the artificial fruit on his hands.

"Well since you're here..." Baekhyun traces his hands then Chanyeol with his taunting gaze, "Why don't we just head to our usual business?"

Chanyeol stares at him. His lips turn into a curve of mischief.

He didn't even see that coming.

"Business?"

"You know..." Baekhyun rested his hands to his side as he sighed with anticipation.

Chanyeol kicks his shoes off, taking his jacket off at the same time but his eyes stayed at the person who's sitting on the table. He sarcastically nods his head with a sly smile.

_He planned this all, _Chanyeol said in his mind. _He actually thought it'll do him good._

"Sex. That's it, right?" he grabs his shirt from the back before sliding it off from his neck, "You want us to fuck."

Baekhyun licks his lip as his eyes traveled down the body in front of him. His feet swings excitedly below the table.

Chanyeol stands between his legs, using both his hands to grab his legs and wrap it around his waist. The teasing man gasp with the action. Baekhyun feels hot, he lets his arms rest over the taller's bare shoulders.

"C'mon now, why don't you say it?" he could feel Chanyeol's heavy breathing on his neck.

"Yes." Baekhyun grabs the taller's hair to tilt his head upward and make him look directly on his eyes, "I want you to fuck me, Yeol." he said before placing wet and teasing kisses on the side of Chanyeol's lips.

Chanyeol smirks against his lips, Baekhyun pants heavily as Chanyeol harshly bites his lip between every kisses. As if wanting to get even, the smaller digs the skin of his back with his nails. Chanyeol growls as he grinds his hard-on between Baekhyun's legs, making sure he's teased and equally dripping.

He ends their discontinuous and sloppy kisses, grabbing the back of Baekhyun's head and crashing their lips together. Loud clicking sounds can be heard as he hungrily ravish the other's lips. Baekhyun almost lost his breath, he pushes Chanyeol away to breathe but the taller didn't even let him. He could feel his cock twitching inside his pants, feeling insanely hot with the rough kiss and close contact.

Chanyeol moves to his jaw, his kisses remain heavy and wild.

"Yes, _hmm Chanyeol_, let all your anger on me..." he grinned.

Chanyeol stops and looks at him, jaw clenching. But he doesn't let the moment die as he starts unbuckling his belt.

"You want this all don't you?" he chuckles, his voice still ice cold, "You and your dirty tactics." Baekhyun watched him excitedly, especially whenever he combs his all messy locks with so much frustration. He knew he succeeded.

"God, what could've happened if Sehun's the one in here. Don't you think?" he teased, taking off his own shirt. He grins wider, seeing how Chanyeol looks at him angrily. He wasn't able to continue when he felt him being lifted up quickly towards the bedroom door.

His airy laughter was turned into a yelp of pain when his bare back hits the hard wall. Baekhyun's eyes shut tightly as he grimaced from the impact. He wasn't permitted to curse when soft lips started attacking his mouth again.

He grunts when he was harshly thrown on the flat fabric, his heart pounds faster seeing Chanyeol's towering figure in front of him against the dim lights. With the little light available, he could still see the taller's grim expression.

"Don't even think of using Sehun for your sexual needs, Baekhyun." he hissed.

"Uhuh, and why not?" he laughs, though the urge to move back was evident on him, "I think he can do me rough. Ah..._yes_. Just like how I want it." he moans, finding it harder to talk when he felt wet kisses on his inner thighs, "Sehun could've make me scream and forget my name, fuck...I want it. Just like that." _Fuck me that way, Chanyeol. I want that._

"He won't. He can't." Chanyeol grimly smiles, fading off Baekhyun's mocking one, "Only I, can do you rough and hard, you hear that? Now don't move." Chanyeol's voice was filled with command and danger, harshly pulling Baekhyun's feet to completely lay him on his back, making sure he hear his breath hitching.

Baekhyun's eyes widen.

"Wait... Chanyeol. Are you mad?" this time, the trace of mock was all gone in the question. He forces a chuckle before trying to ease the tension, "You're not actually ma—"

"I said don't fucking move!" Chanyeol's growled while kneeling between his knees. His deep and cold voice echoed within the room and someone might have just shivered.


	13. 12-Reminder

Baekhyun is caught in the middle.

He was supposed to be happy. He should be, right? Seeing how Chanyeol looks smoking hot and dominating on top of him. This is what he wanted.

Although his heart couldn't stop beating like a race car thinking about how this will all turn out. He's sure as hell how sore not only his hole but also his whole body's gonna be tomorrow, basing on how hard Chanyeol grips his skin.

_Fuck it, I'm loving this so much._

Baekhyun grins as he shoves away the hesitant thoughts he just had. No one could ever deny now how horny he is. Especially with Chanyeol touching his sensitive parts, making him groan in pleasure and the other satisfied as hell. He dismissed the fact that he's already stark naked while the taller still got his boxers on.

_Unfair._

"Hmm..." he grunts, trying to make his hands useful as he tries to reach Chanyeol's last clothing, "Take this off, please."

He almost flinched when he heard the same authoritative scoff.

"What did I just say to you?"

Baekhyun lost his smile once again, he gulps without getting obvious because of his barely visible Adam's apple.

Oh right, _don't fucking move._

He shivered as he felt the cold air hitting his sensitive flesh as the cheeks of his ass got spread apart. He closes his eyes, slightly clutching the sheets beneath him.

Chanyeol teasingly massages his puckered hole with the pad of his thumb. Baekhyun whimpers as he felt the finger slowly digging into him, going out then in again.

"God, Chanyeol _please..._"

"Look at me."

Baekhyun continued rubbing himself against Chanyeol's fingers with both his eyes closed, inattentive with the taller's command.

"I said look at me."

Baekhyun had his gaze directed on Chanyeol's dark eyes in an instant, not wanting to disobey his command. Chanyeol's lips slightly curved in satisfaction.

"I want you to look at me while I do this, _do you understand?_"

_Yes._ He nods, _yes._

Without any warning, he digs his long finger inside Baekhyun's hole. Putting the whole finger before his knuckle. He moves it in and out in an irregular pace, mostly to tease.

He adds his index finger right after, moving them faster.

Baekhyun kept his eyes on him, whispering profanities with his mouth slightly parted.

And then he adds another one, "Ah..yeah, oh shit!" he couldn't help but closing his eyes again, his face scrunching.

"Eyes on me, I said."

Baekhyun's face crumpls in neediness, looking back at Chanyeol's wicked face. He seems to be enjoying Baekhyun's helpless state.

"You think making me mad will get you fucked hard and rough, don't you?" he scoffs, "You're a lot wiser than I thought, Baekhyun."

_"Hmm..."_ he squirms when the finger in his hole moved faster, "Should I thank you for that?" Baekhyun's voice is now mixed with impatience and mock. _Goddammit_, he just wants be rammed by Chanyeol's cock right now, is that too much to ask?

"No. You shut your mouth and don't talk until I say so." Chanyeol snaps, "We're doing this_ my way."_ he coldly said.

"But Chany—"

"Shut it. I'll fuck you how I want, since you decided to insult me so much, huh?" he smirked.

Baekhyun wasn't able to answer. Yes, it was his fault but Chanyeol should understand that he just meant to have a good fuck and not to offend.

_Fucking shit._

Chanyeol crawls over his body to level his head with Baekhyun's before leaning down and clashing their lips. His tongue licks Baekhyun's upper lip, nibbling the other. His passionate and chaste kiss only seemed to be an introduction when he started kissing the other boy hungrily, tasting the corners of his mouth with his own. Baekhyun hums, placing his hand on Chanyeol's hair to grab his locks. But Chanyeol grabs his hand away and pinned them on top of his head, not giving Baekhyun any chance to do what he pleases.

"Ah. What could've happened if Sehun's the one kissing you like this, _hmm?_" his lips moves to Baekhyun's jaw, to his neck, licking and biting to leave reddish marks on them. Baekhyun bites his lip, shaking his head in disagreement.

After placing his marks on Baekhyun's fair collarbones, his lips found the smaller's perked nipple. He looks up to him before swirling his tongue over it. Baekhyun moans.

"You like that, baby?"

Baekhyun nods again, pleading.

_So fucking sexy._

God knows how he hates endearments but if Chanyeol says 'baby' that way everytime they do it then it doesn't matter.

Chanyeol leans down again, sucking it with expertise while his thumb plays with the other.

"Oh god..."

His fully erected member rubbing against the taller's stomach isn't really helping either. He gulps to prevent himself into continuously whimpering like a mess.

Chanyeol stands up in kneeling position, pulling down his boxers to reveal his erected cock, dripping with precum. His eyes managed to caught a glimpse of Baekhyun's lustful stare.

He holds his own shaft, massaging it as he grunts like a wild man. Baekhyun's mouth is slightly opened, watching the gloriousness in front of him. He couldn't help but get bewildered how that monster of a cock fits perfectly inside him. Thinking about it drove him more erratic.

It's a torture. Watching Chanyeol pumping his dick in front of him. Baekhyun's inner demons are getting wild. He should be the one doing that, his hands should be the one to do the act.

His _mouth_ actually.

"You like what you see?"

Baekhyun wants to curse. He didn't know Chanyeol could be capable on frustrating him like this.

He doesn't answer but he gulps, his eyes remain on the treat in front of him.

"Get your lovely lips over here." Chanyeol commands. Baekhyun crawls in an instant to face his dick. Chanyeol lets out a lopsided grin.

"Suck it."

Baekhyun wastes no time, licking his lips wet before taking the head in his mouth, swirling his tongue all over. He grabs the base of the taller's shaft before bobbing his head up and down, fully taking Chanyeol's cock. The tip bumps against his throat making a gagging sound.

Chanyeol's head is thrown backward every now and then. The sucking sound and his heavy pants are the only noises in the room.

"_Hmn_...holy shit."

Baekhyun sucks him better and better with every sound of pleasure he makes. His delicate fingers move to hold Chanyeol's balls, massaging them and making the latter harshly pull his hair in madness. Baekhyun doesn't regret anything. He couldn't picture himself doing this nasty things with anyone but Chanyeol, not even Sehun. Of course he's aware that the younger offers a big package too, but Chanyeol's cock fits his ideals perfectly.

Just enough to make him satisfied.

"Enough." Chanyeol orders, making the impatient boy stop as he feels himself nearing his release.

Not yet.

Baekhyun got up on his knees, leveling Chanyeol. He looks directly at the taller's eyes, flashing his sweet expression to try and tame the cold guy. He badly wants to get a say on this too because he's fucking horny now.

Chanyeol though, remained serious.

"Yeol, please—" he groaned, muttering the nickname.

"Turn around, Baekhyun." Baekhyun frowns, eyes still pleading, "Now."

Baekhyun faces the other way. He could feel Chanyeol's rough hands holding both sides of his waist, steadying him.

"All fours." the deep voice whispered to his ear.

Baekhyun held his breath for a moment. All _fucking_ fours! Is his dream sex with Chanyeol now happening?

He slowly gets into the position because of so much awe. Chanyeol's gaze linger on the male in front of him, eyes filled with nothing but lust and impatience with the flawless scenery in front of his eyes. Baekhyun's smooth and milky skin has some red marks from his hands, _lovely sight. _Chanyeol bites his lips.

Chanyeol massages the cheek of his ass, spreading them every now and then to get a good view of his pink hole. Baekhyun cusses, he just wants Chanyeol inside him now.

"Chanyeol, godammit! Just fu—AH!" he screamed as Chanyeol spanks his ass with his heavy hand. He could feel the stinging pain on his skin, imagining how it's tainted with red marks.

"Shut the fuck up, Baekhyun." Chanyeol tightens his grasp on the smaller's waist, "You really are pushing my limits, aren't you?" his jaw clenched.

He clutches the sheets, "Why are you so mad?!" Baekhyun gets the nerve to talk back because of so much impatience, "I wasn't going to fuck Sehun, okay? I was just provoking you—UGH! YEOL PLEASE!" he cried with another spank, a harder one. He could feel his cock aching in too much erection.

Chanyeol is literally planning to torture his inner needy slut.

"Well you did provoke me so deal with it." Chanyeol sounded a lot different from himself and Baekhyun tries to think it's just because of alcohol. Baekhyun got another hard spank, he bit his lip to prevent himself from whimpering while still clutching hard onto the sheets.

Spank. Another one.

Spank. One more.

"God, your ass is so fucking beautiful, baby." Chanyeol grunted. He gently massaged Baekhyun's soft skin, as if trying to admire how the marks go perfectly with the smaller's flawless skin.

Baekhyun flinches with excitement in every touch. He badly wants to cry. He wants to beg the taller to end his agony.

"Chanyeol...please. Just _fuck me_." he couldn't recognize his own voice in so much desperation.

Chanyeol's smile gets more wicked. "Hmn... Very impatient, are we?" Chanyeol's voice is full of mock.

"Do you wanna cum untouched?" he smirked.

"N-no..." Baekhyun stutters in so much panting, "No. Touch me, Yeol. I want you now..._please._" he shook his head.

"Pretty much." Chanyeol holds his thighs hardly, leaning down to the skin of his back, letting his nose trace Baekhyun's skin, "I'll fuck you hard later, because you begged." he chuckled against his skin.

Baekhyun buries his face on the pillow, he couldn't hold his weight any longer. He's so fucking impatient right now but Chanyeol continues to torture him with the teasing and prolonged touch and kisses.

"Oh Baek, you can't do all fours now?" Baekhyun badly wants to slap him now. He's doing this on purpose. His voice obviously implies how much he enjoys watching Baekhyun squirming in neediness.

"_Fuck you,_ Chanyeol." he cusses against the pillow while panting heavily. He tilts his head sideways to make his words vivid, "I'm sorry if I made you mad, okay!? Just _please.._."

Chanyeol's grin fades but his face remains stoic. "If you weren't rambling and disobeying me like a bitch then my dick would've been inside you now." he hisses, "Now. On your knees and hands." Chanyeol couldn't deny the fact how Baekhyun pulling tantrums makes him fucking hornier.

Baekhyun didn't mind his arms and legs that are starting to ache now, he surprisingly kept his mouth shut, waiting for another torture.

Chanyeol spreads the cheeks of his ass again before leaning down and running down his tongue on his hole. Letting his tongue move in a circular motion before digging it inside.

"Ah! Hmm...oh fuck. Yeol...ah!" Baekhyun groaned, shouting profanities with every swirl of Chanyeol's tongue.

Chanyeol buries his head deeper, letting his tongue touch his favorite hole harder, leaving small bites on the smaller's inner cheek.

"Oh..." Baekhyun had his eyes tightly closed now, feeling Chanyeol's wet tongue lewdly lick his ass, down to his thighs. _Talk about fucking erotic._

Chanyeol stopped, he stood up and didn't even struggle finding the bottle of lube on the bedside table. Baekhyun remained closing his eyes and collecting his sanity to recover from the bliss.

The bed thumped with Chanyeol's weight. His hard dick rubs against Baekhyun's skin as he fills his hand with the sticky substance. He puts a very little amount on his cock before throwing the bottle somewhere.

Baekhyun watches him from the side of his eyes, looking a bit puzzled why the other didn't lube him up on his hole.

He grunts when he felt the tip being rubbed against his ass. Chanyeol watches him groan in anticipation before digging the head of his cock in his hole.

"More l-lube, Yeol...ah." Baekhyun is beet red with the raw pain he felt inside.

"No." Chanyeol clicks his tongue, grasping the petite male's waist to keep his position steady. Right then he shoves his hard cock fully inside. Baekhyun wasn't able to complain when his head felt light in so much inclination. He could feel the friction of Chanyeol's cock inside his raw flesh, making it painfully pleasurable.

"Ah..." Baekhyun's mouth went dry, making him gulp as he groans, "Ah yes! Yeol..."

"Goddamn..." Chanyeol's hoarse voice sounded like a song in his ears, his cock digs deeper into Baekhyun's flesh, making sure his last inch makes it inside, "Still tight...so _fucking_ tight for me, baby."

Baekhyun grits his teeth, keeping his body steady. Chanyeol wipes the bead of sweat on his temples before moving in a sluggish pace, spreading both Baekhyun's thighs wider.

Strands of hair stick on Baekhyun's forehead, he moves his hips to meet Chanyeol's thrusts, he wants more. _More._

"Fuck, stop moving."

"F-faster, Yeol..." Baekhyun breathes heavily with his mouth.

Chanyeol couldn't hold himself any longer, slowly withdrawing his cock until the tip before roughly thrusting in again. Baekhyun moans like a mess. He repeats this act a few more times, having the smaller screaming loudly under him. Chanyeol thrusts faster, his balls slapping against the other's, skin to skin.

Leaning down, Chanyeol continues to thrust in an animalistic pace. His lips touched Baekhyun's bare back, sucking and licking while he fucks the other mercilessly.

"_Ah! ah, yes_, Yeol! _Fuck_, just like that..." Baekhyun's face is beet red, his body rocking back and forth.

"Look at you―_ugh_, being a cockslut under me." Chanyeol growls between his breath, "Isn't that right? _Ah_― Such a _slut_ for my cock, aren't you, _baby_?" he pants, thrusts getting deeper and harder.

Baekhyun's eyes closed tightly, he almost howls in so much pleasure. With all these rough fuck, deep and sexy _baby's_ and dirty talking, he's sure this isn't the usual vanilla sex with Chanyeol. It felt so good he couldn't think straight anymore.

He loves it. This is what he wished for.

"_Mmm__, baby_. Give me some more! Ah!" tears started pooling on the side of his eyes when Chanyeol roughly hits his prostate, "Just like that! _fuck_―oh!"

"_Still. getting fucked. this good,_" Chanyeol growls in every thrust, "_After. being such. a bad boy,_ huh?" the bed creaks as the head board slams against the wall.

"Keep fucking― me like that, Yeol." Baekhyun moans, "_Yes_―ah there! I've been a bad boy, _fuck_ me rough and hard!" his loud moans echoed within the walls, making it fortunate that the room is sound-proof.

"Don't worry babe, I'll make sure you won't be able to walk tomorrow." Chanyeol scoffed as he continues to abuse his hole, skin covered with thin sheet of sweat.

_Like I care. _Baekhyun smiles widely with this.

"I deserve it. Fuck. Go harder, baby!" his voice is now hoarse with all the screaming.

Baekhyun's arms hurt so much, he couldn't take it any longer. He cursed himself as his arms start to ruin the moment. His face fell on the pillow in front of him, letting his arms rest. His moans went muffled against the foam. Chanyeol sees this and grabs Baekhyun's ankle to flip the smaller over and make him lay on his back without withdrawing his girth. He wraps his arms around Baekhyun's thighs, slamming his cock in the middle of them.

They could see each other's faces this time, making it more intense. They both stared at each other's eyes, both filled with lust and ecstasy.

"Holy _fucking_ shit, it feels good... I'm close, Yeol..." Baekhyun holds his dick and pumps it furiously, he lets out a long and deep moan before spurting his cream on Chanyeol and his own torso.

Chanyeol continues his raging thrusts, he lets out a harsh groan before cumming inside Baekhyun's puckered hole. His cream proudly trails down the smaller's ass.

His weight fell down over Baekhyun's body, his head directly droops down to the smaller's lips, ending it with a wet and sloppy kiss. After losing both their breaths, he buries his head onto Baekhyun's neck, both panting heavily.

Silence takes over them after the mind-blowing sex while they're both trying to catch their breaths.

Baekhyun's eyelids felt heavy with so much exhaustion although Chanyeol's hot breath on his ear keeps him awake.

"Yeol."

"Hmm..." Chanyeol grunted deeply.

"You're still inside me." he wants to relax his body but he couldn't do that with Chanyeol's leaking cock inside him and his heaviness squeezing his dick.

All the exhaustion seemed to leave Chanyeol's system as he pulls his face away to look at Baekhyun, he chuckles.

"That's because we're not done yet, _baby_." he smiled smugly before kneeling up.

Baekhyun swore this is the worst aftershock he's ever had.

It's quarter to 5 when he wakes up and felt the excruciating pain all over his body. 4 rounds. Four fucking rounds of being fucked brought him to this state. His ass felt so sore he's sure as hell Chanyeol kept his promise of not letting him walk.

After that first escapade, Chanyeol straight up fucked him again with all his might, lewdly touching his upper torso that made him horny again in the midst of it. Baekhyun seemed to gather his strength back as he demands for more, exchanging their positions to make him ride the taller vigorously for the third round. They exchanged hungry kisses as he moved his ass up and down Chanyeol's dick. And when he thought it's all over, Chanyeol flipped him sideways until they started touching and kissing. He finds himself getting fucked sideways releasing his orgasm for the nth time and completely losing consciousness.

_Holy shit. I just did that. _Baekhyun groans inside his head.

He's tired. Bloody tired and aching and all he wants is to rest and sleep. But he needs to get up and wake his senses up. That's the golden rule.

_No sleep and cuddle with a _ _fuckmate_ _._

With this thought, Baekhyun makes another attempt to open his eyes, seeing nothing but darkness. He tries to move but suddenly hit by a realization that a long leg is placed over his legs. He grunts when he failed again. Chanyeol's weight wraps around his lower body makes it impossible for him to get up. He tries turning around to look at the taller when he also realized that a long arm is wrapped around his torso, completely trapping him.

Something in Baekhyun's chest starts pounding.

Chanyeol had him wrapped in his arms, he feels deep and slow breaths on his hair that indicates the other's deep slumber.

Baekhyun froze as he panics inside. The position seemed to bother him, he didn't know what to do.

_Shit._

He makes big movements to disturb Chanyeol's sleep just to make him change his position and let him go. He endures his aching body.

He heard Chanyeol groan in annoyance before pulling him closer as he tightens his grasp on his waist. He wasn't even distracted from his dreamland. Baekhyun felt their skin against each other, leaving no space left.

They shouldn't be this close if it isn't sex. That's what running inside Baekhyun's mind. He had his breath hitched.

"Chanyeol." he called. His voice is gentle yet stern.

Still asleep.

"Chanyeol." he tapped the taller's arm on his waist.

"Hmm..." Chanyeol groaned near his ear.

"Your hands. I need to get up." he awkwardly said, feeling relieved of having it said.

Chanyeol didn't answer.

"Chan—"

"Sleep." is all what Chanyeol said, not even loosening his arms around him.

Baekhyun wasn't able to complain. His body remained stiff until he finally loosen up and relaxed when realized he got no choice.

With the exhaustion and drowsiness, he falls back asleep again, finding the position actually cozier.

It's still bad. The moment he opened his eyes, he knew it's daylight and he still feels terrible. But not as worse as the pain a while ago. His face crumpled as he tried stretching but ended up groaning in pain.

"Does it hurt?"

He flinched in surprise when a deep voice asked behind him. He turns around and sees Chanyeol sitting on the bed with his boxers on. Baekhyun suddenly felt conscious, pulling up the comforter to cover his body.

"Yeah." he chuckled, trying to imply it's nothing serious and he's used to it.

"I'm sorry." Chanyeol mumbles, pursing his lips as he stared at him, "I was just a little...drunk."

"No you're not." Baekhyun smiled smugly.

"What?"

"You weren't that drunk," he sits up, trying to prevent himself from cringing in pain, "and you're not sorry." he laughed lazily.

Chanyeol just stared at him before chuckling lightly.

"Yes actually, I'm not." he looked at the sheets as he talk.

"It's fine. I'm kinda used to it." Baekhyun leans on the headboard, "You know, getting terribly sore every morning after sex." he's lying, of course. He didn't let the guys he had fucked to even reach a third round, what's more for fourth. He doesn't get this body pain and even if he got sore, still not this bad.

Another exception for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol stared at his own hands, thinking of saying something.

"I feel equally terrible as well...inside, I mean." Chanyeol muttered, almost a whisper but Baekhyun heard every word. His brows slightly creased as he felt an unfamiliar pang somewhere in him.

Chanyeol looks at him when he didn't answer. He shook his head in an instant when he saw his expression.

"No...the sex was a-amazing, as always, of course..." he gulps when he stuttered, his voice gets lower, "but I still couldn't help thinking...how this is wrong in so many levels."

Baekhyun had to sigh before answering.

"Think of it as a one-night stand, Chanyeol. Except it isn't just one, but heck, it's the same anyways." he shrugged, smiling smugly.

He heard Chanyeol's deep breath, struggling to respond.

"No, I―what I'm trying to say is..." he stares at Baekhyun, "I just―You don't understand..."

Baekhyun wants to roll his eyes. It seems that the intimidating Chanyeol was just for last night, he's back with the naive one.

"Which part?" Baekhyun casually asks, "It's just sex Chanyeol, just think of this as Shein's karma for all the wrong things she had done." he gulped when he realized what he said. He made sure to keep a straight face.

Chanyeol creased his brows at him, noticing what he said.

"And what is that exactly?"

Baekhyun just shrugged, "Well...she does a lot of crazy stuff sometimes, she's really mean you know." he said, not saying anything specific.

Chanyeol sighs, getting the idea Baekhyun wants him to.

"I know, but not this. She doesn't deserve this." _he thinks I meant high school kinda mean. _Baekhyun says in his mind. He badly wants to take back the term and change it into an _evil conniving bitch, _but he decided to play it cool for now.

Baekhyun shrugs, "then just think of this as a practice when you decide to do it with her. She'll give you an A, for sure." his saliva tasted bitter as he gulped. He looks away to grab his specs on the bedside table. As he turned back around, he saw Chanyeol lying down beside him, staring blankly at the ceiling. His upper body exposed with his messy hair.

"I don't really know why you guys are being hard on her." Chanyeol mumbled, thinking about his bandmates and the guy beside him. Baekhyun looks at him, not being able to answer.

"She's spoiled sometimes, yes. But if you actually see through her, she's very fragile and sensitive. I don't understand why people judge her just because of the impression she makes." Chanyeol's voice is a lot more gentle, talking about Shein.

Baekhyun couldn't believe this is happening. Are they really talking about his cousin right now? Because the irony makes him want to puke.

"And how sure are you that you know her the most?" he couldn't help asking. Chanyeol's eyes look up to him.

"We've been friends since 8th grade. She never left me." his lips slightly curve as if he remembers every detail, "That was the time that I was bullied for being a tall, lanky and awkward student. She still wanted to be my friend. She was there when I had a hard time opening up to other people. She encouraged me to be comfortable with myself. She was there when I lost my Mom." he says, "It hurt so bad that I didn't want to leave my room, I locked myself in it. I didn't listen to anyone that time, so she said she'll just stay there with me. We ended up eating Ramen and cookies for three days, building tents from blankets and such."

Baekhyun wanted to cover his ears, but Chanyeol's deep and enthusiastic voice kept him from even moving. He found himself listening.

"Despite all of that, she's one of the most vulnerable people I know. She may have gone into some catfights because of me but no one would see her cry about it. She'll just break down when there's me and her alone, saying all the things that have hurt her feelings. She may appear like an easy-going bitch in front of people but she's actually a soft and fragile person. And when I told her about my feelings 2 years ago, she straight up rejected me because she's afraid she'll hurt me if we take it too fast. We get into big fights and in the end she'll apologize and admit she's just threatened and insecure." he finished with a huge smile on his face.

Baekhyun was speechless.

He watches Chanyeol smiling widely as he stares at the ceiling, talking about Shein like she's the most wonderful thing in the world.

And there he thinks, life is a bitch. Not just a bitch but a _motherfucking selfish and unfair bitch._

"Wow." Baekhyun wasn't able to comprehend all the things Chanyeol said, even his own words.

"You must love her so much." he muttered in amazement. Chanyeol doesn't answer, but his face says it all.

"Maybe..." Chanyeol started off again after the deafening silence. Baekhyun follows the movements of his lips.

"I think that maybe the reason why I feel comfortable with you, Baek." he says softly, "It's crazy but maybe because you have the same blood and I see her a lot in you."

Baekhyun felt a lump in his throat. He had to grit his teeth hard to keep him composed.

Chanyeol's eyes stare directly at him. Those brown eyes. He couldn't help but notice how they say a lot of things. Just by looking at Chanyeol's eyes, you can tell every emotion he has. It's like a deep sea full of wonders.

Drowning.

Baekhyun looks away as he forces himself to laugh. His laugh sounds terrible in his own ears.

"We're not." _I don't go hurting anyone just because I'm threatened, I'm not the worst person on earth, _"I'm much worse. I'm a lot different from her." he grinned but kept his eyes on the window.

"You're not."

Baekhyun turns his head, only to see Chanyeol now sitting again. He faces him as his eyes continues to drown him. Does he really think he and Shein are the same?

"What?" Baekhyun's eyes are stinging.

"How can you be worse when you're not even bad, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asked, his eyes are soft but something inside Baekhyun is suddenly piercing.

Baekhyun's chest heaves, he clutches the sheet beside him. He looks away when he felt the need to gulp.

"I'm hungry." he stood up, not bothering to cover his body.

"Oh, you want me to coo―" Chanyeol stood up too.

"No. I can do it." Baekhyun faces him but his eyes wander, Chanyeol was dumbfounded, "You should go home now, Yeol. It's late." he said, limping as he completely walks to the bathroom. He closes the door and sits over the toilet.

Baekhyun feels a lot more terrible. Not only his body, but every bit of him.

He wants to be angry. All the shit he heard outside wasn't true. Especially the fact that he's once again compared to Shein. He can swallow the fact of being the worst person, but being compared to her is on another level.

It feels _fucking_ terrible to be nothing but a reminder.

He has mixed emotions. And he doesn't know it all. The only thing he's certain is that nothing's good among all of it.

His eyes are wet. And for the first time in a long time, he's hurt.


	14. 13-Kiss Day

That never happened again.

The small chitchat after sex was the first and last. As it seems to Chanyeol, Baekhyun never let him step in his apartment again. They fuck in his big and cold house, sometimes inside the car or some random restroom but never in Baekhyun's place.

It was the best place for him, though.

It never happened again too.

The long kisses were the last ones as well. Every sex, Baekhyun doesn't seem to give his interest on his lips, giving just a peck or sometimes not at all. And when Chanyeol tries in full attempt to kiss him, he'll immediately end it, offering his neck and his other glorious parts for the taller to kiss and suck instead.

The kisses were his thing.

Chanyeol is lost.

He admits he could be dumb and naive sometimes but he isn't completely stupid not to notice that something's wrong.

Maybe he's just stupid enough not to know what exactly it is.

All he knows is that after that hot sex at Baekhyun's place, something's not right. When Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, he feels as if something is different. He couldn't figure out what and how, but the boy seems to be more puzzling than before.

He's normal yet strange. Is that even possible?

"It's due next week." he says, handing out a folder which Baekhyun accepted with a quick glance. He gulped before continuing, "Um, if you need help just tell me..."

Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, expecting him to say no and he could finally prove that something's wrong.

But Baekhyun looks at him with his small smile from his focused and serious expression, "Okay, I will. Thanks, Yeol." his eyes crinkled before going back to his job. Chanyeol remained standing there, in awe.

"Baekhyun." he called again, biting his lip.

"Yep?" Baekhyun responded without turning to look at him, his eyes remained glued on the papers in front of him.

"I'm just wondering if you're uh..." he puts his hands in his back pockets, gaze uneasy, "if you're not...busy tonight?"

Baekhyun looks at him this time with the same unreadable eyes. "Oh uh, tonight... I can't, I think." he answered uneasily, Chanyeol could see that he's thinking about the usual thing they do.

Chanyeol pursed his lips. _I could've asked him for sex and he'll instantly say yes! Seriously now?!_

"Not that actually. It's kind of urgent and I think you're the only one who can really help me..." he said, slightly irritated how his indirect implications can be directly rejected.

"Oh..." Baekhyun nods in realization, "What help exactly?"

"I'm arranging a new song and I'd like you to sing it. Don't worry, it'll be quick." he said, giving a reassuring smile.

Baekhyun sheepishly smiled.

He awkwardly chuckles, "I don't really know, Yeol...my voice isn't even that good—"

"Baekhyun please. I've heard you sing and your voice is one of a kind. Just..." Chanyeol stopped when he realized what he blurted out. Baekhyun stared at him, both quite shocked. Chanyeol looked away in slight humiliation.

"Okay. I'll do it." Baekhyun had this smile again, that kind of pretty disingenuous smile that makes Chanyeol cringe, "Thanks for the compliment."

Chanyeol forces a smile back at him, clearing his throat.

"So...I'll just wait for you at the lounge later?" he doesn't know where this uneasy atmosphere comes from when they've fucked each other for quite a lot of times now. It makes him more confused.

"No, just go ahead. I'll go there after my shift. I brought my car with me so I can manage." he smiled again, Chanyeol's face is now so forced.

_Why did he bring his car? I thought he's too lazy to drive? I thought he considers selling his car because he prefers to just sit and let someone drive for him?_

"Okay." the conversation ended up with Chanyeol looking like a puppet with a forced smile plastered on his face. His inside flows with an unknown irritation from something he doesn't understand.  


x

  
  
Shaking his legs as he glanced at the wall clock, Chanyeol saw how the short hand strikes at another hour. He lets out a deep sigh before standing up and walking to the kitchen. He opened his cooler to get a drink and didn't even spare a glance at the pitcher of water as he grabs the bottle of wine to satisfy himself.

He's tensed.

He filled his glass a lot of times while still looking at the paper on his hand, his attention wasn't even there of course.

The sound of knocking made him flinch in surprise, almost spitting the liquor in his mouth. Chanyeol cussed as he coughs. He quickly walks to the door, fixing his shirt as he opens.

"Hi!" Baekhyun has this smile again, Chanyeol wishes he'd stop, seriously, "Sorry. I got stuck in the traffic." he said, combing his hair with his fingers.

"It's fine, I wasn't waiting that long..." _bull, _"Uh, let's go?" Baekhyun nodded, following him inside to his room.

Chanyeol couldn't help but gulp while he fixes his table. Baekhyun carefully observes the room like he hasn't been there yet.

He noticed Baekhyun looking around his room and his stuff. It feels awkward now that they're here for another thing and not for their usual 'activity'. Chanyeol couldn't help sweating with the thought.

"Wow. Your collections are so cool!" he sat on his swivel chair as he watches Baekhyun gasp while admiring his memorabilia.

"It's been there like forever, Baekhyun, why are you so surprised?" he chuckled but Baekhyun is still distracted by his amusement.

"Haven't really seen it before..." he mumbled but loud enough for Chanyeol to hear.

"C'mon. You're here every week." he said, finding himself gazing down at Baekhyun's thighs. He flinched when the smaller sat in front of him, eyes still left on the glass of toys before completely facing him.

He pouted and shrugged, "Well we always focus on sex so I never really notice them..." he gulped from his own words, "Uhm a-and I have a bad eyesight actually." his gaze fell on the recorder in front of him.

Chanyeol notices Baekhyun's uneasiness again. He's even more curious now. He couldn't seem to find the usual confidence and coolness the other boy naturally has.

"Maybe if you just looked around while we do it or before we do then you could've noticed." it was supposed to be a joke but Chanyeol said it seriously.

Baekhyun laughs at this, "That's ridiculous..." he shook his head, still laughing.

"Or maybe if you could just stay for a while every morning then you could have a look around things." he shrugged, but remained blankly watching Baekhyun.

Baekhyun's smile fades, he blinks for a few times before picking up a sheet.

"Should I sing now?" he asked, reading lines from the paper without sparing him a glance again.

Chanyeol clenched his jaw before nodding.

"So...?" Baekhyun smiles sheepishly as he takes off the headphones from his ears, "Oh my God, was it even acceptable?"

_Are you kidding? It sounded perfect._ Chanyeol says in his head, but too rigid to say it aloud.

"It's great, don't worry." was all he managed to say.

He knew how Baekhyun's gonna be the perfect voice for this piece. He just wished that the other's obvious reluctance didn't prevent him from being completely happy. His mood isn't really going well tonight every time he looks at Baekhyun's forced actions.

Chanyeol blankly stares at his laptop while clicking some keys, his mind drifting off from it. Baekhyun continues to blabber things Chanyeol couldn't really comprehend. He's being his usual talkative self. But what makes Chanyeol annoyed is the fact that he completely feels the other's ingenuity. It's like he's just doing this to convince everyone that he's the same old person and nothing's wrong when there obviously is.

Chanyeol's been asking himself in his mind with so many questions for the whole day. For a couple of days now even. And it just drives him crazy that he couldn't take it anymore.

"Baek." he called in a strong tone, Baekhyun's smile softens with the nickname.

Chanyeol steps his foot on the ground to move his swivel chair nearer to where the other sits.

"What's the problem?"

Baekhyun's body stiffens but his smile didn't fade, even creasing his brows to look confused.

"Problem?"

"C'mon Baekhyun. I know something isn't right. I feel it. Tell me now." Chanyeol's hand is over the glass table, emphasizing his demand. Baekhyun tilts his head because of the other's nearer distance.

Baekhyun shakes his head.

"Nothing's wrong, Yeol." he answered, Chanyeol's sharp gaze screams he's unconvinced.

"Well that's not what I see."

"Everything's fine, Chanyeol. You're being paranoid." Baekhyun said his full name, irritation obvious in his voice as well.

Chanyeol sighs.

"Fine." he said before leaning close to Baekhyun's face, their lips almost touching.

Baekhyun flinched as his eyes widened, he instantly moves his face away from the taller.

"What are you doing?" Baekhyun asked alarmingly.

Chanyeol frowns, "kissing you?" he impatiently said before his hand grabbed Baekhyun's chin to get his lips on the other's. Baekhyun pushed his chest away.

"Why won't you let me kiss you then?!" his voice raised as his jaw hardened. Something is definitely wrong with the other boy and he's sure as hell.

"Because!" Baekhyun yells back but was caught off guard when he realized he got no decent answer, "I'm here for other things, okay? Why don't we just get to the real business..." he looked at Chanyeol's ears to avoid the other's intense gaze.

Chanyeol chuckles sarcastically.

"Bullshit."

Baekhyun looks at him, his eyes slightly widening. 

"This has always been our business. Baekhyun. Just tell me what the fuck is wrong because it's confusing me!" Chanyeol cursed with impatience.

"I told you! Nothing's wrong, okay!?" Baekhyun's voice is filled with finality, "I talk to you casually, I hangout with you and we still have sex when we both want! What the hell are you talking about!?" he panted after all the words.

_You never stay after sex anymore. You don't look at my eyes when you talk to me. Your smile isn't genuine. You don't kiss me longer like before. You don't moan my name like you mean it._

Chanyeol has a hundred of things in his mind that he badly wants to say. He doesn't get all this denying from Baekhyun when it's obvious, well at least for him, that there had been a thick barrier between them for the past few days.

But it all doesn't make sense, especially coming from him. Because what are they?

"Something's just different..." this time it was his turn to look away, realizing how ridiculous all of his thoughts are and suddenly becoming ashamed of it, "You're not your usual self..." he said.

Baekhyun creases his brows, eyes now on the taller's face.

"And what is my 'usual self' like, _Park_?" he crossed his arms on his chest as he leaned on the arm of the couch. His eyes are suddenly little cold.

_Not that._ Chanyeol wants to point. But how will he say it?

Baekhyun watches him hold back, he blinks in anticipation but Chanyeol didn't answer immediately.

"I don't understand. Why would you insist that I've changed, Yeol?" he laughed softly but his brows are still crossed.

Chanyeol gulped, but he kept a convicted expression.

"I just know. It's like you're not being you. I don't know how to say it but I'm sure." he said, standing by his disposition.

Baekhyun chuckles, but unlike the previous ones, there's no humor in it.

"This is me, Chanyeol." he lets out a lopsided grin but something inside him tells otherwise, "Maybe you just didn't know me at all." Chanyeol didn't recognize his voice from the last sentence.

Chanyeol purses his lips. He was dumbfounded. He badly wants to disagree. He wants to insist that he knows him very well. Even with that little time, he'd come to know the boy. He's quick as flash to form the words he wants to respond but his tongue felt stiff.

His inner conflict gets worse. He's raged by the fact that he doesn't have the right to say all the things in his mind. Because why in the world would he say it? Why would you insist on deeply knowing someone you just fuck from time to time? _Does he even have the right?_

And that's it. Chanyeol was pushed back to his right lane in a flick of a hand. He's just a _fuck buddy_.

"You know what, let's just do it." he gets off from his ocean of thoughts when he sees Baekhyun in front of him, standing up close with his one knee placed on the chair.

Chanyeol's jaw hardens as Baekhyun slides off from his shirt.

"Baekhyun." he called in a stern voice but Baekhyun only raised his brows.

"What? Come on, let's have sex so you'll stop bitching about nonexistent things." he stood on both sides of Chanyeol's legs before sitting on his lap to initiate.

He started kissing Chanyeol's jaw down to his neck, teasing his skin with his teeth. Chanyeol doesn't respond. He doesn't want it to be this way. Baekhyun noticed this so he grabs Chanyeol's large hands and placed it on his bare torso.

"Baekhyun stop—"

"Come on. Don't you want this? Come on Yeol, _touch me..._" he whispered against Chanyeol's neck. Chanyeol sighed in defeat when he felt his dick hardening under his pants.

He pulls Baekhyun's face away from his neck. His hand remains on his chin as he looks straight into Baekhyun's half lidded eyes, filled with lust and other things he never knew. He sees how Baekhyun gulps with his stare and droops down to crash their lips together. He holds Baekhyun's cheeks to keep it passionate like how he wants it but Baekhyun pushes his tongue inside his mouth, kissing him roughly. The kind of kiss they've been doing for weeks now. _The kind of kiss he doesn't like._

He's starting to respond with the same intensity when a loud noise startled them both. His phone vibrates and rings loudly, flashing a familiar name on the screen. Chanyeol doesn't give a single fuck. His lips are busy wandering on Baekhyun's chest, inhaling the sweet scent from his skin. That may be Kris or Jaewon calling and it can wait. While Baekhyun's eyes linger on the phone screen, his eyes darkening.

Baekhyun reaches for the phone on the table and taps Chanyeol on the shoulder, flashing the screen on his face. Chanyeol's eyes widened. He stands on his feet as he grabs the phone, making Baekhyun almost lose his balance from his lap to the floor.

Chanyeol breathes nervously, placing the phone on his ear as he clears his throat.

"Hi love!" a familiar voice greets from the other line, "What took you so long?" she asked.

"Hey...love. How's it going?" he massaged the bridge of his nose in so much frustration.

Baekhyun sits back on the couch, his face blank. Chanyeol's back faces him.

"Nothing, I just miss you..." she mumbles, "Are you busy?"

Well _yes_, he was. Chanyeol lets out a silent sigh.

"Uhm... well actually—" he looked back, catching Baekhyun's stare.

"Can we talk first? I'm so lonely..." she said, cutting him off.

Hearing Shein's voice makes his guilt worse. The fact that she called in the middle of him making out with Baekhyun didn't give him the chance to think straight. His girlfriend is sad somewhere and here he is, kissing her cousin behind her back. Chanyeol feels a terrible pang inside his chest.

"Sure...love. Let's talk, okay? Don't be sad." his voice almost breaks. He feels terrible.

Baekhyun's eyes remained blank, his expression unreadable. His gaze travels from Chanyeol's back to the floor.

He hates feeling like this. Whatever this is that he cannot explain, he hates it. He despises how he curses Shein inside his mind right now. He knows that he should hate her for being mean and for all the things she had done to him, and not for things like this. Because why would he hate her for calling her own boyfriend in the middle of the night? He has no right. Not even a bit.

Baekhyun wants it to stop.

Chanyeol waits for Shein to talk longer before he turns around to motion his palm on Baekhyun, gesturing him to wait. Baekhyun timidly smiles in response. Chanyeol goes out of his room and went to the living room. He sits on the couch, putting his phone on his other ear as his girlfriend continues to tell stories.

Baekhyun's in the same position. He unconsciously pressed himself on the corner of the couch, clutching onto his shirt on his palm. With all the unexplained emotions inside of him, it all made him think that going here was nothing but a bad idea. He felt this unfamiliar feeling that he hates more than anything else. He never felt like this for a while, or just so he thought.

He feels inferior.

To his perfect cousin. And this is the first time he ever thought about it that much because it's bothering him down to his bones.

With his already disheveled shirt in his fist, he stands up and goes out to the living room.

He sees Chanyeol sitting on the sofa, his expression remains serious and bothered. His eyes caught Baekhyun walking down the stairs towards him, his almost calming heart beats fast again.

"Isn't that right, love?" he heard her ask, unable to follow her words before it as Baekhyun sat beside him, still half naked. _Goddamnit._

"Yes, love. That's right..." his breath hitched when Baekhyun's hand started touching his clothed legs, leaning his face inches from him. Chanyeol tilts his head to look at him, Baekhyun's usual wicked grin is plastered on his beautiful face. He forgot that he needed him to stop.

Baekhyun teasingly licks his earlobe, his hand over his clothed hard on, rubbing them gently. He tries to keep his voice solid as he answers his girlfriend and only bites his lips whenever his feels the urge to moan or cuss. Baekhyun, you _fucking_ ass.

_Stop. _He mouthed while looking at Baekhyun in plead. Baekhyun just raised his brows, mocking his agony. He waits for Chanyeol to push him away but with just these silent words, he doesn't have a plan on stopping.

Chanyeol is fully clothed, and he could feel his sweat forming all over his body. His chest heaved while breathing heavily.

Baekhyun stops with the wet kisses as he stands up, with Chanyeol's gaze still following him. He spreads Chanyeol's legs with his knee as he flashed his teeth when he smiled, wicked and wide. Chanyeol glares at him.

He tightly closed his knees together to stop whatever he thinks Baekhyun is about to do. _This is insane, _he thought. He couldn't have his cock sucked right at the moment he talks to his girlfriend. That's a big no. No.

Baekhyun's smile fades.

"Open up." he shamelessly said with a voice.

"Chanyeol?" Shein asked. Chanyeol lost his strength with the sudden panic, making Baekhyun successfully position in between his legs.

"Y-yes?" Baekhyun prevents himself from grinning again because of Chanyeol's hysteria.

"You listening?" Chanyeol almost sighed when he realized she didn't hear Baekhyun's goddamn voice. Although he couldn't find himself relaxing. Not if Baekhyun's in between his legs, unbuckling his belt for fuck's sake.

"Of course, love. Y-you carry on." he shuts his eyes close, his stuttering made it even more amusing for the other.

Baekhyun used his little force to pull Chanyeol's clothing down from his hips, giving him a sight of his favorite thing. He holds his shaft from his boxers, letting it out for him to suck. Chanyeol's face is unreadable. He looks like he's feverish and sick with the tiny beads of sweat forming on his temples. When Baekhyun gave a teasing lick on his tip, his hips slightly arched.

"R-really? T-that's cool..." he stuttered badly. Chanyeol's face scrunched when he needed to answer despite of his cock being fully inside Baekhyun's mouth, taking him in so well like how he always does.

_Now listen, love. _Baekhyun mocks inside his head as he smirks against Chanyeol's cock, bobbing his head faster and more obscenely. He's hoping that his cousin could hear her man's faint cussing or the wet sound of his mouth against his skin. Either way, it'll make him happy.

"Oh...tell me about it, love." he muttered, his moan mixing with his words now. When Shein starts talking again, he wasn't able to stop himself. He clicked the speaker mode and slams his phone beside him, his palm leaving his phone to completely devote both his hands into grabbing Baekhyun's hair roughly. Baekhyun can hear Shein's endless talking about her own stories, making him fulfilled while looking at Chanyeol whose attention now is nowhere in them but on his delicious mouth.

"_Fuck, fuck, oh yes..." _Chanyeol hoarsely cursed, keeping his voice down for his precious secret.

He slightly arched his hips back and forth, fucking Baekhyun's mouth deliriously. Baekhyun makes a gagging sound but nevertheless tightened his grasp on Chanyeol's legs to suck it all completely. Chanyeol's eyes almost roll to the back of his head with so much pleasure. The sight of Baekhyun sucking his cock with full devotion makes him badly want to bend the other against the table and fuck him all night. It was so hard.

When he felt himself nearing his release, he holds Baekhyun's locks harder, pushing him more to reach his ecstasy. His cum filled the other's soft mouth, spurting some on his cheeks and his neck. _Just perfect._

"Ah _yes, baby..._" he groaned, completely drifting off the situation for a moment. Baekhyun licks his mouth before grabbing his shirt to wipe his stained body.

"Baby? Who's baby?" they both hear Shein ask. Chanyeol silently gasped, his eyes widening while Baekhyun chuckles faintly.

_I'm baby, cous. _Baekhyun grins against the cloth on his lips, imagining Shein swimming in doubt and insecurities right now.

"H-huh?" Chanyeol nervously asked as he placed the phone on his ear again, his hands slightly shaking.

"I heard you say baby. Who's baby, Chanyeol?" Shein's voice is now filled with seriousness.

Chanyeol caught Baekhyun's eyes on him. He stared at him for a moment despite the question.

"You, of course." he looks at the floor as he lied, "I was answering you, right?" he forced a chuckle.

The little curve on Baekhyun's lips fades off. He looks at Chanyeol's smiling face, comparing it to his face just a little while ago. Baekhyun gulped.

"But you don't call me baby, love. I wanted it but you said it's so used already." he sighed in relief when he heard how Shein's voice goes back to normal.

"But isn't 'love' too?" Chanyeol laughs, "You're my only baby, am I not allowed to call you that?" he heard his girlfriend's laugh from the other line, making him feel relieved.

Baekhyun stands up from the sofa, quickly putting on his already messy shirt. Chanyeol zips his pants as he sat straight, staring at the other. Baekhyun combs his hair with his hand, not even sparing Chanyeol a look before turning away to leave. Chanyeol quickly caught his wrist.

_Where are you going? _Chanyeol mouthed, forehead creased as he asked Baekhyun.

"I need to go. I'll see you at the office." he whispered casually, shaking Chanyeol's hand off his wrist. Chanyeol looks straight in his eyes, looking confused with his action. He forced a little smile to assure him before completely walking away. Chanyeol's gaze followed him, still puzzled.

"Chanyeol?" Shein's voice startled him.

"Ah―yes. Sorry, I didn't catch that..." he said, watching how Baekhyun completely fades from his sight.

As if it is too forced, Baekhyun's smile froze on his lips until he reaches his car. Getting inside, his smile cracks off from his lips, he grabs a chewing gum from his compartment box to remove the salty taste on his tongue. How he wished he could remove all the saltiness in him, especially on his eyes. He chuckles sarcastically for the nth time, staring on space, doing nothing. He whispers something to himself before starting the engine. Right then, he seemed to appreciate driving tonight.

_How pathetic, Byun._  
  


x

  
  
"Really? Shein called while you were there?" Heechul gasped. Baekhyun just nods. As much as he wants to live a peaceful life and do his job, his nosy friend seems to find his little sexcapade to be his own real life drama.

"What did you do then?"

"I sucked his dick." he casually answered, not minding Heechul's exaggerated reactions.

"Wa—What? You didn't—" Baekhyun raises his brow at him, confirming it, "Byun Baekhyun, you're such a skeeze!"

Baekhyun flashed him an annoyed expression. He hopes Heechul will go away now because he has tons to finish. Plus the last time he checked, he doesn't want to talk about it.

"Can you go—"

"Then what happened? Did you two do it again?"

"No. I left early." Baekhyun's eyes remain on his laptop screen, "Now—"

"What!? Why? I thought you blew him already? Why didn't you do it?" Heechul asked, intrigued.

_Because he was talking to his baby,_ "Because he's talking to Shein okay? Go away Heechul!" he frowned, gazing back to his screen.

"You sucked his dick while he talked to her and you still considered that?" his voice is filled with disbelief. Baekhyun realized what he said but just shrugged.

"They were talking and I didn't want to be rude." Baekhyun lamely reasoned out. He was surprised when Heechul didn't answer immediately, he thought he finally left. He looked behind him only to see that Heechul's still there, looking at him with an expression he couldn't read.

"Are you okay?" Heechul suddenly asked, Baekhyun creased his brows with the sudden question.

"Huh?" he asked, sounding confused.

"Are you okay, Baek?" he repeated, his voice filled with concern. Baekhyun scrunched his face in confusion. Why does everybody think that something's wrong!?

He's perfectly fine! Goddammit.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I be okay?" he feels the irritation building up inside him once more. He hates those pity look from other people especially when he's completely okay.

Before Heechul could even answer, they both saw a familiar figure in the cubicle beside him. Baekhyun darts his gaze back to his screen.

"Hey, Chanyeol." he heard Heechul greet, he remained typing words on his laptop, acting completely oblivious.

"Hi Heechul. Hey Baek." his deep voice demands to be noticed. Baekhyun narrows his eyes to read some words on the screen, not looking at the taller.

"Oh hi, Chanyeol." he greeted back without sparing him a glance.

"You busy?" he heard him ask, initiating a conversation.

"Well, I'm not, obviously. Just passed my proposal yesterday." Heechul answered and there was silence. Baekhyun's typing pace gets slower when he felt them waiting for his answer. He was left with no choice but to turn around and look at him. He sees Chanyeol leaning on the partition, watching him intently.

"Yep kinda busy. I'd like to finish this all so I could go home earlier." Ah, _shoot._ He mentally face palms himself with the wrong answer.

"Oh, you're going somewhere after this?" Chanyeol tried hard to keep it casual.

Baekhyun didn't know what to answer. He could see Heechul from the side of his eyes anticipating his answer as well.

_No. I just want to go home and sleep for days, let myself rot in my apartment and never talk to anyone._ "Uh, well... I don't have any plans yet but maybe—"

"Great. Maybe you guys can watch our Friday gig again? Will you?" Chanyeol flashed his handsome smile, secretly anticipating for Baekhyun's answer.

Heechul would usually decide for the both of them but this time he looks at Baekhyun like how he does earlier. It's like he's giving Baekhyun all the choices now. Baekhyun feels uneasy again.

He can feel that Chanyeol asked this to prove his point from last night again, because Baekhyun has been saying no for a lot of times now. Baekhyun sighed in this.

"Yeah, sure. Tonight then." he agreed, making Chanyeol blink for a few times before smiling in satisfaction.

Ji eun was the only one talking a lot from the three of them. Baekhyun just laughs and answers when needed while Heechul is unusually quiet, making the both of them weirded out especially Ji eun who knows nothing.

"Heechul-ah. Are you sick or what?" Ji eun asked when they entered the bistro that is almost filled once again. If he didn't know better, he wouldn't understand why this big number of audience watch the band's gigs. But looking at Chanyeol, times 4, it does make sense.

Heechul raises his brows at Jieun, rousing from his deep thoughts. "Huh? No I'm not." he answers. Baekhyun just looked at him. He knows, it's about him. He's concerned about him.

But he shouldn't be. He wishes he wouldn't be, because he's fine.

They sat on the corner of the place, they could already hear Kris talking while the people cheer. They didn't talk, Ji eun intently watches the band, jamming with the crowd. Although his eyes are directed to the stage, Baekhyun couldn't find himself listening to them. Especially with his mind wandering around plus Heechul's secretive yet obvious glances every now and then.

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol who's on the stage, smiling and laughing with the audience. And then he thought, he's the only one who's kinda fucked up.

"I'll buy some beer because you two are being such a party pooper!" Ji eun yelled as she pouted, walking away from them. And there, Baekhyun turns to the person left.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Heechul?" he hisses, "Quit doing that, Jieun might notice."

"I can't help it!" Heechul is unusually serious right now, "Look. I know I might not be a perfect friend but I know you enough, Baek. I can always see through you. And right now, I can see how similar you are when we were in college, it's like it's happening all over again..." his voice is now filled with fear and worry. Baekhyun's expression hardened. This is all _bullshit._

"Shut it. You're not making any sense."

"Is this because of Chanyeol? I've never seen you like this with your past flings. Are you falling for him, Baek?" he asks one after another, "You know you can't. You know that." Baekhyun pants heavily with all this ridiculousness. He's growing tired of someone telling him what he feels and what to do. He can do everything on his own.

"I know that and no I'm not. I'm not falling for him. I'm not falling for anyone because that's nothing but stupidity. So get over it." his words clear and emphasized.

"What are you two talking about?" they immediately broke off their heated argument as Ji eun walks closer. She eyed them suspiciously but pouted again, "You're being an ass! The both of you! Talking when I'm not around. Geez." she sat and Baekhyun made sure to talk to her more so she wouldn't suspect further. Heechul though, remained stiff.

Chanyeol narrows his eyes on the usual spot he looks at. He sees three of them there, although the blinding spotlight makes it hard for him to get a better look. His lips curved with a satisfied smile. But he still hasn't seen the smaller smile since he went here.

"We all know that it's Kiss Day today, so we prepared some good songs for you." Chanyeol smiles against the mic as the crowd cheers in his sudden reminder, "We dedicate this to the ones who make our kisses special, kisses are very precious so make sure you give them your hearts as well. It comes with the package." he boyishly grinned before starting to strum. The audience hoots as they recognized the song.

Baekhyun grinned sarcastically. He never understood Korea's romantic holidays and why people are so crazy over them.

"Oh I love you both!" he cringes when Jieun gave them both a peck on their cheeks, "Even when I'm single on Kiss Day I still got you here with me!" she sweetly says, making Baekhyun roll his eyes.

Heechul badly wants to let himself enjoy the moment but seeing his friend in this familiar state makes him feel terrible. He sees how Baekhyun's smile and laugh felt so restrained. Like something's holding him back.

"Baekhyun?" a girl on their age smilingly approached them. Baekhyun recognized her as his schoolmate before so he smiles and greets back.

"Never thought I'll see you here! You look great!" she complimented.

"Thanks! You look stunning as well." he stood up to hug her.

"Anyways, I'd love to catch up with you but we need to go. Just went to get a glimpse of this hot band..." she almost gawks, tapping Baekhyun's arm, "Oh by the way, I just came from Japan last week and I saw Shein there! She still looks gorgeous." she laughed.

Baekhyun remained smiling, his brows raising, "Really? You did? That's great..."

"I don't think she saw me though. I think she's with her boyfriend. I didn't even know she already got one. But good for her cause he looks nice!" Baekhyun doesn't know how to react, his smile almost looks like he's cringing, "I need to go Baekie, but it's nice to see you!" she gave him another quick hug before she left.

Baekhyun remained standing on the same spot before he completely sits back to their table, he looks both at his friends who's looking at him awkwardly. He dismissed their gazes, focusing back on the stage where a guy happily dedicates a song for his girlfriend on Kiss Day, whom he just heard about being with someone else.

He feels pity for Chanyeol. But not as much as he feels for himself.

  
  
"I told you to look after him!"

"He said he needs to pee and I'm so dizzy!"

Heechul's back to being sober. He glares back to Jieun who's drunk enough to even walk now. He could feel his heart thumping in nervousness, not having any idea to where Baekhyun had gone.

"Oh no...oh no..." Heechul groaned under his breath as he continuously hears a ringing sound over the phone. The last time he checked, Baekhyun's really drunk as well. That's why he went to the nearest convenience store to buy them some canned coffee and when he came back, Baekhyun's nowhere here.

"Heechul!" he almost jumped in surprise when someone tapped his back, it was Chanyeol.

"Where's...Baekhyun?" he looked around trying to spot the petite male. Heechul nervously smiles.

"Uhm... actually..." he doesn't know what to say, Chanyeol raises his brows, "I can't really find him...I don't know where he went because we were all drunk and..." he started panicking.

Chanyeol becomes serious.

"In the bathroom? Isn't he there?"

"I-I looked everywhere... I can't find him. He's not answering his—"

"He was with some guy... I don't know who's that...?" Jieun faintly said, opening her eyes a little. Both of them stared at her, alarmed.

Heechul slaps his forehead in frustration.

"Drive her home." Chanyeol sternly said before walking out of the bistro, not even sparing them a glance.

Heechul's worried gaze followed him before looking at his drunk friend in front of him.

Baekhyun is helpless.

When he was pushed hardly against the wall, he felt so weak to even fight. He knew this will happen as soon as this guy offered to take him home. He just don't feel like fighting back anymore.

He felt rough kisses on his neck, his hand on his ass while the other tightly grasps his jaw. He breathed with struggle as his hand chokes him harder, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Not that hard..." he breathes, "I-I can't breathe." he said but the guy just chuckled sarcastically, dismissing his words.

"Sluts like you like it hard, c'mon." he snapped before completely taking off his shirt, almost drooling at his flawless body. He ravished his chest with the same rough kisses, his hands rubbing Baekhyun's crotch.

Baekhyun's face remained blank. He could only hear the guy's moan and his faint breathing. He looks at his reflection on his mirror but he almost doesn't recognize what he sees. His eyes look away while he lets the man touch him anywhere as how he likes it. He doesn't have the right to complain.

"Ah. You're tiring me, don't be too stiff!" he clicks his tongue, "Take your pants off now." he commanded. Baekhyun looks at him with no interest. Although he did start unbuckling his belt.

A loud knock from the door startled them. The guy cussed in annoyance, asking him who the heck knocks that loud in the middle of the night. Baekhyun just shrugged as he continues to pull his pants off his legs.

He started kissing Baekhyun again, with not even a bit of gentleness. Baekhyun shut his eyes closed as he feels blood on his lips, the steely taste and sting mixing. He almost loses his breath, pushing the other to catch some air but he won't budge. Baekhyun's eyes formed tears. When he finally pulls away, he immediately inhaled some air. He opened his eyes only to see the guy on the floor, holding his cheek in pain.

"What the hell is your problem!?" the guy shouted in pain as he looks up. Baekhyun's heart starts thumping fast.

"Get the fuck out of here or I'll crush your face." Chanyeol hissed as he throws him a deadly stare.

Baekhyun didn't dare speak. He's weakly sitting on the edge of the bed. He watches how the guy quickly grabs his shirt before running out of his place. He just realized that Chanyeol has a spare key.

His eyes are glued on the door. Silence takes over with the tension. He feels Chanyeol's eyes watching him, but he didn't dare look back and only decided to settle his gaze on the floor.

"Baekhyun." Chanyeol finally speaks, "What was that?"

Baekhyun looks up to meet his gaze. Chanyeol's eyes are filled with seriousness plus another thing he doesn't know, but he doesn't like as well.

"We were both drunk so we almost had sex." Baekhyun answered literally. He knows that this isn't what the taller wants to hear but he didn't know what to say. Because what is it exactly that he needs to know? He doesn't know either.

Baekhyun stands up. He dismissed Chanyeol's gaze still following him.

"I'm gonna shower...you should go home now, Yeol. It's late." he said lifelessly. He badly wants to wash himself thoroughly and sleep. He wants to be alone and be by himself.

"What?" Chanyeol asks in disbelief, "That's it? You were almost hurt! If I hadn't been here, do you know what he could've done to you?" his chest heaved heavily.

Baekhyun didn't answer him.

"Baekhyun. I'm talking to you."

"Well thanks then! But I don't need your help, Chanyeol. I can do it on my own!" he snapped. Chanyeol stared at him, speechless.

"Go home..."

"Why the fuck are you pushing me away now!?" Chanyeol yelled back.

"Because I want you to leave me alone!" Baekhyun's voice cracked.

"Oh is that it? You want me out now? Then what, you don't want to see me forever?" Chanyeol's sarcasm echoed in his ears. Baekhyun's jaw hardened.

"Just why is it so hard for you to tell me what's wrong!?" Chanyeol added.

"I don't want to see you. Or anyone. I want to be alone okay! Leave me alone!" Baekhyun breathes heavily, his eyes are tired. He shouted it all like he means it.

"You don't want to see me?"

"Yes! Forever. So go the fuck away, Chanyeol!" he gulped. He looked away as he walked and slammed the bathroom door.

Baekhyun throws his remaining clothes away and stepped under the shower. He lets the water stream down his face and back, washing out the tiredness of his body. Right then, he feels alone. But it doesn't make him feel any better.

It's like something inside his chest is still twisting.

Even if he didn't go further with the guy, he still feels dirty. He thoroughly scrubs his face and neck with his hands. He winces in every hard rub to his chest, red marks are already staining his milky skin.

And then he stopped when it's too much. He realized that he's being ironic because no hard scrubbing will clean him. He eventually rests his hand on the wall. And when he starts spacing out again, it started hurting again. It hurts so bad. He needed to assure himself that he's in the shower and no one's watching before he completely breaks down.

His sobs are heavy. As heavy as the first rain in a desert. Because like that, he's been holding it inside for a long time. He thought he could just let it all stay inside his chest forever but this moment proved that they should all come out when his heart can't take all of them anymore.

Baekhyun is a wreck. And at this moment, he accepts it. He embraces it. Because he can't always run away from it.

He heard a clicking sound on the door but he's too exhausted to move even just a bit. He lets his tears flow down with the water.

He felt big hands touch his shoulders, giving warmth against his cold skin. He bites his lip to make his breathing silent. The difference of warm and cool water on his cheeks allows him to recognize his own tears.

"I'm here. If you don't want to tell me then it's fine... I'm just here." Chanyeol's deep voice gently whispers against his ear. Hearing this makes Baekhyun break down even more. His teeth let his lip go as he goes back to sobbing.

Chanyeol wraps his right arm over Baekhyun's shoulder. Their height difference makes it easy for him to hold the smaller, his chin rubbing against Baekhyun's hair. Their bare bodies against each other unknowingly gave Baekhyun some security.

That he could finally let his guard down because Chanyeol is here to keep him safe.

"I-it hurts..." he whispered between his heavy hiccups. Chanyeol tightens his arms around him, placing light kisses on his head. He doesn't know when will he stop his tears from falling on their own.

"_Shh..._" Chanyeol hushed. This is the first time he's seeing Baekhyun so broken. He knows that too much alcohol led him into breaking down like this but Chanyeol couldn't help thinking how hurt the other is to be this vulnerable.

"What is it?" he tried asking again because he couldn't control his curiosity. Who or what could've hurt Baekhyun this much?

He turns Baekhyun around to see his face, tilting the smaller's chin up to look at him. "_Please_ baby...tell me what's bothering you..." he held Baekhyun's cheek as he whispered softly. The smaller's eyes are glassy and bloodshot red. Chanyeol can feel his exhaustion, his losing will to ever smile genuinely again.

"Why...." he weakly mutters, he leans his forehead on Chanyeol's chest.

"W-Why do I keep losing everything for people who are not worth it?" Chanyeol's heart breaks when he hears Baekhyun's unrecognizable voice.

"I do everything for someone and they'll all end up taking me for granted..." his throat already hurts with so much crying, "They'll make me feel so small and worthless...and in the end I'll still be the only one to help myself. I tried to fix my life alone just to fail. This is why I stopped trying to fix myself a long time ago. Because I'm unfixable, Chanyeol..." he held Chanyeol's arm tight as he felt more of his tears coming down, "I'm like a crushed glass no one can repair...the hopeless case." his voice breaks again.

Chanyeol had to gulp so he could dismiss his hurting chest. His hand rubs the back of Baekhyun's head to give him some comfort. But he honestly doesn't know what to say. He never thought Baekhyun feels like this all this time.

"Why am still feeling like this?" Baekhyun's voice gets weaker, "Can something so broken still break further?"

He wasn't able to stop himself as he enclosed the smaller into a tight embrace. This is the first time he ever felt close to Baekhyun, in every aspect. Everytime they're together, it was like a thick wall makes them distant. He knows not just to him, but to everyone. Baekhyun has been living his life on his own. He built a barrier around him from any people because he thought he could protect his heart by that.

Seeing him right now, all he thinks is that he wants to make him happy, whatever it takes.

He holds his face to stare at him again. Baekhyun's usual cold and unreadable eyes are now vividly hurt and tired. He leans down to give him a kiss, savoring the other's lips before quickly pulling away, their nose touching.

"I don't know what I did wrong to deserve this..."

"Hey... It's not you, okay? Whoever they are, it's their lost. _Fuck_ them." Chanyeol jokingly cussed to make him smile a little, which he did, but it's still forced.

He droops down to kiss him once more, after a few teasing pecks he completely takes over his mouth. He sucked his lower lip before his tongue pushes inside, still keeping it gentle.

Baekhyun circled his arm around the taller's neck, he lets Chanyeol take over the kiss as he bends a little backward, then there he thought, _it's Kiss Day, isn't it?_

Chanyeol mentally cursed as he feels his cock twitching against the smaller's stomach. He thinks it's not really right for the moment but he couldn't help it when it's been ages since he kissed Baekhyun this long and good, especially when they're both naked.

When they pulled away to catch their breaths, Baekhyun didn't need to look down to feel his shaft with his hand. Chanyeol gulps.

"Take me now, Yeol...here..." his voice pleading, his eyes filled with the familiar lust. Chanyeol was more than happy to oblige. Baekhyun slowly turns around, his back facing Chanyeol. His lusty whimpers echoed within the closed walls as Chanyeol kisses the back of his neck to his shoulders, his big hand finding its way to his puckered hole, tracing and rubbing it. He slides one finger in, digging it up to his knuckles.

"_Mmn...ah yes.._" Baekhyun moans as he felt Chanyeol's fingers almost reaching his spot, "Oh...Yeol. _Please..._"

Baekhyun tilts his head when Chanyeol pulls his finger out, sharing a sloppy kiss in the same position while he points his tip on his hole. Baekhyun slaps the glass shower wall when he felt Chanyeol slowly entering him, his big rough hands grasping his waist. Baekhyun's body arched forward to let him enter easier, holding the slippery walls to keep his balance.

Chanyeol starts moving slowly, pushing in gently. He waits until Baekhyun's a moaning mess before he slams hastily. He throws his head back as he grits his teeth, feeling Baekhyun's tightness take him so well. He rocks their bodies faster, hearing the sound of Baekhyun's slipping hand from the glass wall. His moans turned into screams before going back to moans again. _Moan, scream, then moan again. Sometimes in between, but still so fucking ear-pleasing._

"Oh baby..._Nngh_, fuck..." he cussed as he felt his tip slamming against the spongy flesh, making Baekhyun cry in pleasure.

"There!_ Ah―Oh_ there!" he whimpers as Chanyeol hits it repeatedly, "Ah..._shit._ I-I'm near..." he groaned, holding his dick to pump it with his hand. He stepped both his feet more distantly to prevent himself from falling in too much euphoria.

"_Aaah... oh_ damn..." Baekhyun's sticky cream splats out on the glass and the floor, he closed his eyes as Chanyeol continued slamming inside him, finding his own peak.

After a short moment, Chanyeol follows, cumming in his hole and the cheeks of his ass. Baekhyun felt his knees shaking, he almost fell but Chanyeol catches his waist with his arm.

"I think I'm just gonna clean up tomorrow..." Baekhyun tiredly said as he stared at his own cum staining the shower room. Chanyeol smiles in exhaustion, turning into satisfaction when he caught a glimpse of Baekhyun's cheeky grin.  
  
  
  
He sighs heavily as he successfully put a shirt on Baekhyun, who's now sleeping deeply beside him. Faint snores can be heard, making Chanyeol grin in amusement. Their wet hair damp the pillows.

After another round on the bed, he felt a lot better. His tired body and heavy eyelids didn't stop him from unconsciously watching the smaller guy sleep. Chanyeol turns to his side, making the both of them face each other. He could feel Baekhyun's breath on his face. He blinks a few more times before whispering.

"Happy Kiss Day, Baek."


	15. 14-Happy Birthday

His lips curved into a lopsided grin as he locks his phone. His smug smile never left his face even after putting it in his pocket.

"Chanyeol, you ready?" Luhan takes a peak in the backstage, catching him grinning widely, "What is it? You look stupid." he chuckled. Chanyeol shook his head but remained smiling smugly.

"I'm coming." he said and felt his phone vibrating in his pocket again. As soon as Luhan goes back to the stage, he instantly grabs the phone from his pocket to see.

_From: Baek_

_Ass. If you're not paying for the drinks tonight then we wouldn't have agreed to come. Don't get your hopes up._

''Chanyeol!" he heard Kris' annoyed voice.

"Yeah!" he couldn't stop laughing despite Kris' impatience. He's too amused to even get his stupid smile off his face, _off their faces._  
  
  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" the people around Chanyeol started singing on the top of their lungs, making him cover his ears as he laughs hard. Even the people inside the bar started singing along when they realized that the handsome guitarist of the band that just performed a while ago is the birthday boy himself.

"Seriously, my birthday isn't until tomorrow." Chanyeol chuckled lightly, shaking his head after a whole bunch of his friends and people he doesn't even know, sang him a birthday song.

"We're just making it up to you because you'll pay for everything tonight!" his bandmates howled. He rolled his eyes but didn't disagree anyway. He doesn't have any choice since his friends will never let him live peacefully if he doesn't treat them on his birthday.

"Happy birthday, Chanyeol!" Heechul and Jieun find their way to him, greeting him gleefully, "Thanks for inviting us!"

Chanyeol smiles, "Of course, we're friends. Thanks by the way!" he flashed his teeth, subtly glancing behind the two where Baekhyun is watching them, pursing his lips.

"By the way―" Jieun started off but Heechul grabs her wrist, cutting her off.

"Uhm...let's get some beer!" he laughed before completely pulling Jieun away with him.

Baekhyun's gaze followed his friends, gritting his teeth in annoyance before facing Chanyeol, who's raising both his brows at him.

"Hi." he greeted shortly.

"Hey." Chanyeol flashed his boyish grin, making Baekhyun roll his eyes. They both laughed then.

"Where's your party hat?" Baekhyun teased.

"So? Aren't you gonna greet me?" Chanyeol asked, waiting for the smaller to greet him with a couple of kisses but of course it's just his inside joke. _Tss._

"You said it isn't your birthday yet." Baekhyun said, his face blank. He doesn't like smiling too much at Chanyeol because it makes the taller a lot more egotistic than he already is.

Chanyeol unconsciously pouts, his forehead creases. Baekhyun can't help smiling because of his expression.

"But I'm celebrating today so it's the same." Chanyeol said, sounding a little desperate for a single greeting.

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him before sighing.

"Fine. HBD." Baekhyun said, greeting him through a petty acronym.

Chanyeol frowns.

"That's it?" he asked in disbelief. _HBD?!_

"What?" Baekhyun fakes a confused tone, "That's how I greet."

Chanyeol scrunches his face.

"You didn't even complete the greeting." his voice is filled with bitterness, "I was actually expecting a sweet greeting you know...with the hugs, kisses and all..." it was meant to be a joke but it sounded so bitter.

Baekhyun looks at him in awe before shaking his head to dismiss the taller's remark.

"You're being such a whiny bitch, Chanyeol." he snapped before walking past him. Chanyeol remained frowning, following Baekyun with his gaze as the smaller starts approaching their other office mates.

"But I'm serious, Baek!" he says a little louder, looking at the smaller who isn't looking at him and is greeting other people, "I expected to have a decent greeting. You could've just completed the sentence. I feel so hurt..." he pouted, admitting that his expected greeting isn't a joke.

Baekhyun just raised his brow at him.

"Cry me a river." Baekhyun mocked a pout before rolling his eyes to continue talking to others.

Poor Chanyeol.  


_From: Shein❤_

_Sup birthday boy_

The trace of smug smile on Chanyeol's face fades off as he reads Shein's sudden text. He needed to gulp and sip a little drink before typing his answer.

_To: Shein❤_

_Hiya, sexy._

He sighed when his heart beats fast again. He hates it. He hates how anxious he becomes whenever his girlfriend suddenly calls or talks to him, like guilt is eating up his system. He doesn't know how to make up to her with everything he's doing because he feels so bad for her. So bad.

"Hello there, my love." he managed to keep his voice stable when she answers.

"I miss you..." he was greeted back by her longing voice, making him swallow the lump in his throat once more, "wish I could be there with you. It could've been fun." she laughed. Chanyeol almost cringed when he wasn't able to find the words to answer.

"Yeah... I wish you're here." he looked around the noisy bar only to catch Baekhyun's eyes on him but the other's gaze immediately moves away. He continued watching him but Baekhyun never looked back.

"Where are you?" Shein asked, probably hearing the noise around him.

Chanyeol rubs his eyes in exhaustion. He silently sighed when he felt the need to answer honestly. He just doesn't feel like lying again. It's like his lies are too much already.

"At some bar. I'm with my friends and work mates, just treating them for a few drinks." he answered, he heard Shein's sudden silence over the line.

"Oh... you're drinking..." she said in a low voice, Chanyeol prepares himself for another lecture. He didn't answer. He knows too well how pissed she must be right now, with Chanyeol doing everything she hates. But he just wish she'll just let it go because he's tired of arguing.

Because everything she hates is otherwise for him.

"Okay..." she answers after a short silence, probably letting it go just for tonight because it's Chanyeol's birthday, "Just don't go too drunk and get yourself home safely, alright?" she said, her voice still restraining.

He sighed in relief.

"I will, love." he answered. He could tell she's at least smiling now over the line.

"What do you want for your birthday?" she asked, suddenly enthusiastic. Chanyeol just lets out a hearty chuckle.

"What more could I ask for?" he said when he couldn't think of something decent to answer. Because what he really wants can't happen. At least now it can't.

"I love you so much, Chanyeol." she answers, "And I miss you. It's driving me crazy." her voice broke. Chanyeol sighs in frustration and guilt.

"Me too, love. You know that." was the only thing he could answer, "you should rest now. It's very late and you're still awake."

"Okay...good night."

As soon as she hangs up, Chanyeol had to breathe some air again. He stood up from his seat, walking out of the bar to get some air outside.

He needed to take off the heaviness inside his chest from the short phone call. He doesn't know how long will this pain in him stay and he wants to get rid of it so bad.

When he slightly felt better after a few minutes, he goes back inside. His friends are still dancing and didn't even notice him going out. He walks to their table when he sees that Baekhyun is the only one left there.

With Sehun.

He could tell they were talking about something interesting based on their smiles. His feet unconsciously move toward their table when somebody grabs him by the arm.

"HERE HE IS!" someone from his friends who holds his arm shouted, pulling him into the dance floor as he completely loses sight of the two.

"It's unfair! The birthday boy should also dance!"

"Don't let your ass rot there! have some fun you idiot!" Kris yelled and the people around him agreed as they cheered loudly. The music gets more intense, the beats are so loud and his friends are almost drunk, which is obvious by the way they dance wildly. Chanyeol laughs hard with the jokes he hears and with the dance moves of his bandmates. His mind suddenly drifted back to Sehun and Baekhyun but just chose to shrug it off even when it really bothers him a little.

He continued laughing and joking around his friends until his stomach hurts and his little problems earlier are already out of his system, washed off by both laughter and liquor.

"Hey..." a girl on the dance floor suddenly taps his shoulder, still dancing into the beat, "It's your birthday, isn't it?" she smiled sweetly at him. Chanyeol could barely hear her because of the loud music. Although because he's naturally polite, he smiled back and faced her to entertain.

"Yeah, uhm, how do you know?" he curiously asked. She has long dark hair and her red dress hugs her petite body well. She pursed her lips as she looks at him with the same gaze.

"I just heard around. Happy birthday!" she lets out a flirting smile before offering her palm, "I'm Sunbin, by the way."

Chanyeol nods obliviously, leaning down to hear her more since their height doesn't match too well. She seems to take this as an advantage especially when he leans down near her ear to make his words audible.

"I'm Chanyeol." he accepts her hand, he flinched slightly when she grasps it a little harder, "thanks for the greeting!" Chanyeol curtly smiled, not getting the girl's obvious intention.

"So..." she clears her throat, "do you wanna go somewhere―"

"Hey."

Both of them looked to their side. Baekhyun stands near them, making Chanyeol stand straight and the girl crease her brows. She raised a brow at Baekhyun and scanned him from head to toe with her judging eyes.

"What?" the girl snapped, making Baekhyun chuckle sarcastically.

"You're a pretty girl, mind to find some other target?" Baekhyun faked a smile, keeping it nice for her.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" her irritation is obvious in her voice.

Baekhyun sighed in impatience.

"It means you should back the fuck off because he's taken." he smiled sweetly before rolling his eyes. He heard her gasp as she chuckled in disbelief.

Chanyeol remained standing there, watching them bickering with his confused expression.

_Such a naive idiot. _Baekhyun wanted to shake his head.

"And by whom?" she almost spat in mockery, "You?"

"Well certainly not you." he snapped back. Her jaw dropped as she started breathing heavily. Chanyeol immediately stood between them.

"Uhm...hehehe." he laughs awkwardly, "Sorry but we need to go, thanks for the greeting! Appreciate it." he didn't wait for her response before pulling Baekhyun away from her.

Baekhyun only chuckles with Chanyeol's tensed action. He shakes his head because of the fact that Chanyeol thinks he's provoked when clearly, the girl was the only one pissed. Chanyeol pulls him on the other side of the dance floor, making sure they're far from the girl earlier. Baekhyun then shakes his hand off his wrist, dancing again on the beat. Chanyeol frowns at him.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"Why did you say that...." _are we _"I'm your..."

_"Look after Yeollie for me." _Baekhyun mocks a girly voice as he answers Chanyeol, "I know Shein's a wench but I won't forget her request when she left so..."

Chanyeol's eyes slightly widen, he wasn't able to answer. Baekhyun looks at him.

"Wait... did you think..." Baekhyun muttered.

"No!" Chanyeol quickly answered, denying instantly.

Baekhyun just eyed him suspiciously before going back to dancing. Chanyeol starts moving along as well, although his face went serious as he stares directly to the smaller's face.

"So..." he clears his throat, making Baekhyun look at him, "I saw you talking with Sehun..."

Baekhyun casually shrugs in this.

"We were just talking about Justice League. I didn't know he likes it too."

Chanyeol frowns at this.

"Are you kidding? I love that! I even have a bunch of DC collection in my room..." he bragged, frowning even more when Baekhyun just shrugged again.

"Well we just suddenly talked about it." he smiles a little, "I was just glad about finding a DC fan like me. Most people prefer Marvel so..."

Chanyeol scrunches his face.

"But Sehun likes Marvel more! He even told me before that DC sucks!" he hisses in annoyance, "such a liar..." he muttered. Baekhyun looks at him in awe with his sudden outburst.

"But he told me he likes it..."

"He's a liar!"

Baekhyun chuckles.

"Are you jealous?"

Baekhyun smiles widely as he narrows his eyes at the taller.

"What? No!" Chanyeol snaps instantly, "what is wrong with you?" he clicked his tongue as he denies, finding it all ridiculous.

Baekhyun just pursed his lips while nodding slowly, unconvinced.

"If you say so." he looks back to the stage where Kris stands again, still grinning.

Chanyeol frowns with the other's shady tone, side eyeing him as he faces the stage as well.

"It's me again, people!" Kris shouted on the mic, the people roared and whistle as cheering. He grins tipsily in return.

"Of course before we resume to partying, we would like to call our celebrant here on stage first." Chanyeol cussed from where he is, ducking his head lower to hide. Kris really likes being cheesy when he's drunk.

"C'mon here man! Stop hiding your gigantic body!"

Chanyeol frowns in humiliation when everyone starts pushing him to the stage. Baekhyun starts laughing at him as well.

_"Stop it man..."_ he could read Chanyeol's mouth pleading, making him grin wider.

"Since all you have here are your friends, not even your girlfriend..." a few girls in the crowd groaned in this.

"Yes that's right ladies, sadly this one is off the market." the crowd groans more, "Anyway, I'll pick three of your closest friends here to give you a short message for your birthday." he started scanning the crowd.

"Kris..." Chanyeol almost begged. He hates this much of attention on him.

"Shut up dumbass, stay there." the crowd laughed again with Kris' sassy answer.

Chanyeol watched him pick Sehun and Jaewon, who immediately obliged. Kris made them go to the stage before scanning the crowd again.

"Hey Baekhyun." he grins, making Baekhyun widen his eyes, "Come on up here."

Chanyeol watches the smaller who's shaking his head from the crowd. Jieun laughs hard while pushing her friend towards the stage.

"You're not a proxy for his girlfriend don't worry." Kris says jokingly when he objects, "C'mon! Both of you are obviously close!"

Baekhyun shakes his head.

"I need to pee!" he said, making a lame excuse.

"Aish!" Kris rolled his eyes before stepping down the stage to force Baekhyun up the stage. Chanyeol is smiling while looking at them fight.

"Aryt!" Kris sighs once he gathered all three of them, "Tell us what you want to say to Chanyeol, anything except his sex life of course... We don't really want to hear that." the people laughed when Chanyeol glared at him. Kris stands on the side as he gives the mic to Sehun.

"Hyung! I love you~" Sehun started off, who's obviously tipsy now. Chanyeol grins with his usual childish message. Chanyeol can't help glancing at Baekhyun on the side, whose arms are crossed over his chest, watching them while grinning.

Kris had to stop Sehun when he started clinging onto Chanyeol like a baby, pulling the mic away to hand it over to Jaewon. Jaewon seems worse, though.

"CHANYEOL YOU MOTHERF*CKER." he cussed loudly. Chanyeol shakes his head while laughing. This one is obviously drunk now. "Oh sorry...sorry... Anyway, it's your birthday!!!" he looks like as if he's trying to convince everyone that he's sober when he's obviously close to passing out. Chanyeol still glances at Baekhyun, who's watching Jaewon with amusement. _What will Baekhyun say?_

For the second time, Kris had to grab the mic from Jaewon when he started talking about inappropriate things. He insisted on continuing but Chanyeol pushes him out of the stage while laughing.

"Baekhyun, your turn!" Kris passed him the mic in which Baekhyun accepts timidly.

Chanyeol watches him intently, waiting for him to talk. No one even noticed how he suddenly pays more attention to this than the other two. Baekhyun sees this and makes him a little fidgety.

"I'll keep it short," Baekhyun started off, grinning sheepishly at the teasing whistle of their officemates. He couldn't look directly at Chanyeol.

"Well...I still won't greet you because it's not your birthday yet."

"It's midnight!" Chanyeol instantly complained, making the crowd laugh and Baekhyun roll his eyes.

"It's 11:38 idiot." he grins at this before clearing his throat again, "Anyway... I just want to say that..." he stopped for a while, finding the right words.

It seems like the crowd doesn't even notice the silence between them. How they suddenly look at each other while Baekhyun struggles for words.

"Thank you."

Chanyeol suddenly felt like the air around him is lost, making him breathe a little heavier. Baekhyun looks at him still, opening his mouth then closing it again like he doesn't know what to say next. His eyes look exactly the same like that night in the shower a few months ago.

Real.

"For everything. For being there, for being just..." he needed to gulp as he strives to continue.

Chanyeol couldn't even look away, the noise around them seemed inaudible at that moment that he could only hear Baekhyun's voice. Only his.

"You..." he finished after a pause.

Baekhyun smiles a little. A smile like he had never seen before. Like a present specially crafted for him on his birthday.

"And I just want to let you know that I'll support everything that you do." his voice is serious but something in it is different. Like his smile.

Chanyeol needed to clutch the chair on both sides of his legs when something inside his chest starts hammering.

"I'll be here like you've always been for me..." Baekhyun said, almost like a whisper.

They stared at each other's eyes for a moment. Chanyeol's mind is like a whirlwind. He's filled with different emotions he does not recognize. Baekhyun feels the same. But what's clear to him is that he feels relieved for having to say the words he just said. As if he wanted to say it all this time but now is just the moment he became even aware of it.

The crowd suddenly fell silent too, almost all of them are in awe with his words.

"Said...my cousin..." he then said before bursting into laughter. The crowd laughs with him including Kris, suddenly knowing that it was all a passed message.

But there's one person who couldn't even manage to laugh with them nor smile.

"My message for Chanyeol is, thank you for the beers and may you stop being a shithead in the office!" he laughed again, not even facing Chanyeol but the crowd instead.

He passes the mic to Kris before instantly stepping down the stage.

"Wow. Thanks Baekhyun you're such a drama queen." Kris sighs after laughing too much, "That's it. I hope Chanyeol realizes now that he doesn't have a decent friend." everyone laughs again.

"Okay, party resumes everybody!"

Chanyeol didn't move even after the loud beats of music came back. He just stood up after waking up from his deep thoughts, scanning the sea of people to find Baekhyun but failed to spot him. He sees Heechul who watches him and shrugs when their eyes met. His gesture implies how he and Chanyeol think of the same thing. Right then, he lets Chanyeol do his thing and returns to talking to Jieun.

Chanyeol feels pissed.

_Who the fuck are you kidding, Byun Baekhyun?_  
  
  
  
  
Baekhyun stands up from the toilet bowl he's been sitting for a couple of minutes now. He could hear the loud music from outside.

"What the hell was I thinking..." he covered his face with his palm in so much frustration.

He can't control himself anymore like how he always did before. It bothers him that he's once again going back to his old self where he ends up being exploited by so many people.

_Why are you letting your guard down for him when it's not even part of the plan?_

He opens the door with so much frustration. He stops immediately when he almost bumped into Chanyeol, who's entering the bathroom as well.

Chanyeol's face is serious. Baekhyun straightens his body to casually look back at him.

"Hey, Yeol." he forced a grin.

Chanyeol didn't even listen to him, turning his head to the other guy inside with them.

"Get out." he coldly said to the younger boy, making Baekhyun widen his eyes.

"What? Why would I?" he's obviously younger and intimidated but tries not to show it.

"Out." he repeated with a much darker tone. The boy stops washing his hands before quickly walking out of the comfort room. Chanyeol harshly pushed the door closed.

Baekhyun gulped when he felt the cold wall on his back. Chanyeol towers in front of him, still wearing his deadly stare.

"Why would you say that?" he asked with irritation, leaning closer to the smaller who badly wants to crumple in front of his height.

"What?"

Chanyeol clenches his jaw. _Here we go again. _He hates that everytime Baekhyun does something bizarre, he'll badly feel the need to ask him about it when he knows the truth deep inside. And then Baekhyun will tell a lame and obvious lie, and he's the one ending up getting bothered by it every night. He hates it. He hates it so much because it's been happening a lot now and he just wants Baekhyun to tell him the fucking truth about everything he feels. Chanyeol needs to know it.

"Why would you say that Shein said all of that?" he tried to calm himself but miserably failed when his tone raised.

Baekhyun's gaze went uneasy.

"Because she did."

"She didn't and we both know it!"

"Then what do you want?" Baekhyun asks, "For me to say that I meant it all?"

"Why not? You do!" Chanyeol snapped.

"I told you she's the one who said it!" Baekhyun's voice broke as he yells back.

"Oh god _fucking_ dammit, Baekhyun." he cussed, madly emphasizing every word. He tilts his head in so much frustration.

"It's true." Baekhyun continues to deny. He avoids Chanyeol's eyes and gulps, "And even if I did, so what? What's the big deal again? Why are you making a big deal out of everything, Chanyeol?"

"'So what'?" Chanyeol asked in disbelief.

"Yes, so what?" Baekhyun kept his casual voice, provoking Chanyeol even more.

Chanyeol breathes ragingly when Baekhyun looks at him directly, as if trying to challenge him. Baekhyun doesn't say anything anymore, now that Chanyeol's obviously mad. He prepares himself for his rage because he knows how wrong he was. Everything he said was wrong. And Chanyeol has the right to be mad because no one, no decent person, would ever say that to a person he just fucks. But Baekhyun feels a little relieved, he thought Chanyeol will immediately avoid him after everything he said. Or maybe he will, after this.

Baekhyun's ready, anyway. To be left.

"You frustrate me so much." Chanyeol mumbled before holding his cheeks and kissing him fully. Despite being shocked, he immediately kisses him back, clutching Chanyeol's jacket to pull him closer. He opens his mouth to let him inside and let him take over. He feels his head bumping into the hard wall as he tilts his face upward to meet the taller's lips.

Chanyeol kisses him deeper. His tongue sweetly explores his mouth, nibbling his lips when his breathing gets frantic. The taller's kisses made Baekhyun lose his mind, closing his eyes in so much euphoria while his hands loosen up their grasp on his shirt.

"Fuck..." the both of them jumped in surprise when someone from the door cussed. They quickly pulled away when they saw Sehun standing at the door, his jaw dropped as he looks at them.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were not able to say something because of too much shock. Sehun avoided their gaze before slamming the door close as he walks out.

"Sehun...shit..." Chanyeol curses before running after the younger, he sees him walking a few meters from the restroom, "Sehun, wait! Sehun!" he reached him and grabbed his arm. Sehun harshly shook his hand off, his eyes are cold.

"Sehun...i-it's not what you think―" he tried to explain.

"Wow, Hyung..." Sehun chuckles sarcastically. He seemed sober now after finding out everything, "I'm so impressed..." he said through gritted teeth.

"Sehun, please..."

Sehun's eyes stare directly at him. Despite the coldness in his eyes, Chanyeol sees how hurt he is. He looks at his favorite hyung in front of him, his once perfect hyung. Sehun couldn't believe it. He cannot accept it.

"Didn't think you had it in you." he said sarcastically before walking away, leaving Chanyeol dumbfounded.

He felt Baekhyun standing behind him, although he remained staring into space. He still couldn't process everything.

"Oh my God, it's terrible..." he heard Baekhyun whisper behind him. They walked back to their table, seeing some of his band mates there.

Chanyeol's heart thumps faster. _They know. He told them._

"Chanyeol! Do you know what happened to Sehun?" Lay asked him, making him stare at them in surprise.

"He left without saying anything. He's mad. I know it." Luhan said in a low voice, his face full of concern and worry.

Chanyeol gulped, he wasn't able to answer so he just shook his head. He feels the guilt slowly eating up his whole system again. He walks a few distance away from them, not looking back when they called his name.

He found his private space to deal with his frustration when he felt someone standing beside him.

"It's my fault...I'm sorry." Baekhyun said.

"It's not." Chanyeol answers without looking at him, "It's not your fault."

"I know he likes me. I should've told him I...." Baekhyun said guiltily.

"It's not your fault, Baekhyun. I'm the one to blame here. This is all my fault. I lied to everyone." Chanyeol says before he sighs, "I'm going home. Tell them I already left." he didn't wait for Baekhyun to answer before heading out the bar to go home. His whole night was spoiled.  


x  


  
"It's Chanyeol's birthday today, isn't it?" Heechul asked as soon as they entered the department store. It's Saturday so Baekhyun decided to accompany Heechul in buying a new set of sofa. He doesn't even know why the other needs it when he just bought one last year. Heechul's fetishes are weird sometimes.

"It was really weird when he suddenly disappear last night," he subtly eyes Baekhyun who's checking out a satin couch, "did something happen?"

Baekhyun turns to him before casually shrugging.

"I don't know."

Heechul just looks at him and he could tell that the other isn't convinced with his act, but he dismissed it. He doesn't really have the time to explain.

"You haven't greeted him yet."

Baekhyun sighs in this. He realized he wasn't able to greet Chanyeol last night because of teasing him. But because of what happened, he doesn't know how to greet Chanyeol or even how to talk to him. He knows the other must feel so bad about last night and Baekhyun is guilty for it. He's aware he's got a fault in this too. He couldn't help blaming himself that he somewhat took part of ruining Sehun and Chanyeol's friendship.

"How will you greet him?" Heechul intriguing him isn't helping either.

"I'll just text him later, I guess."

"Ew, that's it?" Heechul scrunched his face.

Baekhyun frowns at him in return.

"And what do you expect me to do?"

Heechul just shook his head in disappointment.

"You're boring, Baek."

Baekhyun creased his brows, getting confused and a little pissed.

After paying his chosen set, they decided to eat at their go-to fastfood chain. They walk past a Japanese store when Heechul excitedly pulls him inside.

"OMG! Look, most of these are only 2000 Won!" he started grabbing weird-looking stuff. Baekhyun looks at him in irritation.

"I'm hungry! Let's go!" he tried pulling his friend but the other won't budge.

"Gosh, this dildo only costs 6800 Won...how cool is that?" he continued gushing over the sex toys at the corner, oblivious about his friend slowly pulling a tantrum behind him.

"Heechul!"

"Oh my God...." Baekhyun looks to where Heechul is walking to, seeing a corner full of costumes and wigs, "OMG! Baek! You should try this on!" he started holding a Japanese schoolgirl uniform and a brown wig.

"Stop this bull." he started losing patience but his friend doesn't seem to budge.

"Come on! Everyone knows how drop dead gorg you are when you crossdress. Pleeeease?" he even put his palms together while pleading.

"God, Heechul!"

"Oh come on...." Heechul grins while taking a step closer to him, "This doesn't look like a bad birthday gift, does it?" he whispered mischievously.

Baekhyun looks at the uniform and wig in front of him.  
  


  
  
  
As if his day couldn't get any worse, it's raining hard on the day of his birthday.

After waiting for the weather to get a little better, he drives to a familiar place where he usually goes during his birthday. He made sure to buy a bouquet of white tulips before heading to the quiet park.

It's been years of celebrating his birthdays in this cemetery. Chanyeol has always been cancelling any other plans for his birthday either from his friends or relatives because he can't imagine celebrating it with anyone but his Mom. Despite being so lonely and hurt, he eventually learned to get over it and go to her tombstone to tell happy stories instead.

But now he couldn't seem to come up with a funny story to tell her. This time, he's the one in need of comfort after everything that happened.

"Eomma..."

He flashed his usual half smile, showing his dimple on his left cheek.

"It's my birthday again... I miss you." he mumbled. He closed his eyes when he felt the cool air around him, making him smile.

"Ah, I know. I know you're greeting me. Thank you." he chuckles heartily, touching the stone gently, "If you were here, you would've prepared the best dishes. My cooking can't still come close to yours."

He paused for a while when he felt a lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I know I've been disappointing you so much recently..." his smile becomes a sad one, "And last night I even screwed everything up with Sehun. I'm such a bad person..."

The silence is deafening. But somehow, it comforts him. As if his mother doesn't agree with what he just said.

"I've been a bad person, Eomma. And the guilt is killing me sometimes. Shein is such a sweet girl, you know that. I don't know what I'm thinking by doing this to her. I want to stop this...this lust I feel. I really want to. But I can't. I don't know why, I just really can't..." he said with struggle. He knows. He knows she hears him and he just wants to listen to whatever she may say because his Mom was always right.

"Eomma, you said when I knew something's not right, I should stop doing it..." he stood up while putting both his hands in his pocket.

"Then why can't I stop this one, Ma?" he asks, "Why can't I stay away from Baekhyun?"  


  
  
x

  
  
Talking to his Mom made him relieved, just as he expected. But it was mentally draining as well. Speaking all his thoughts means remembering it all as well, and the thought of Sehun being so mad at him right now even makes his birthday not totally worth celebrating.

When he parked his car outside his house, it's raining heavily again. He needed to take off his jacket to cover his head from getting soaked. He ran as fast as he can towards his door, grabbing his keys under the pot but his heart almost stops beating when he finds out it wasn't there. He peaks through his window and saw a dim light from the inside. He cussed.

He tries twisting the doorknob and it isn't locked. He slowly walks inside and hears some noise. He walks to the living room and sees that the TV is opened. Chanyeol sighed in relief that Jaewon might be the one who's there. Thieves don't usually stop over to watch TV, _do they?_

"Jaewon! Is that you?" he shouts from the living room. No one answers but he just shrugged, thinking that Jaewon may not hear him, "I swear to God I'll kill you if you eat my food in the fridge!" he shouted again before walking up to his room to change his clothes. He discovers that his airconditioner is also opened, making him crease his brows. _Dumbass even went to my room and tried sleeping here._

Chanyeol opens the door to his bathroom when he almost screamed in so much shock. His jaw dropped when he sees a girl in front of his big mirror, fixing her hair. Just as he was about to ask who she is, she turns to him, smiling innocently but with secret intentions.

"What the...." Chanyeol looks at her from head to toe. Her full bangs parted by her white headband, her lips and cheeks are light pink. She wears a Japanese schoolgirl uniform and a knee-length socks. Chanyeol's eyes went back to her skirt, her _fucking _skirt that is so short, exposing her fair and milky thighs.

Not 'her' actually. Because it's Baekhyun. And he's straight up _fucking_ gorgeous.

"B-Baek?" he mentally cussed when he stuttered. Baekhyun noticed this and gently puts his long 'hair' to the back of his shoulder, moving very feminine.

"You know how petty and dangerous it is to leave your house key under the flower pot, Yeol?" it's his normal voice but his looks makes Chanyeol see him differently.

Baekhyun steps forward making Chanyeol shake a little and step away instantly.

"D-Don't...I mean, wait... just stay there. Don't come close." he tried to straighten up but only ended up bumping into things. Baekhyun raises his brows, continuously stepping forward.

"Huh? Why? Is it bad? Don't I look good?" Baekhyun asked, voice going innocent. Chanyeol's frustration flows heavily inside him. _Are you fucking kidding._

Chanyeol stops stepping back when he realized it's not working. He remained standing stiffly, letting Baekhyun come close to him. And when he did, he tilts his head to look straight into Chanyeol's eyes, subtly reading his thoughts.

"Why are you here, Baek..." Chanyeol asks, almost like a whisper, "And w-why are you...dressed like that..."

"You don't like it?" Baekhyun faked a sad tone, returning the question.

Chanyeol doesn't have a choice, he can't lie. His chest is heaving with Baekhyun's soft thighs flaunted in front of his eyes.

"N-No...I just want to―"

"So you like it?" he smiles sweetly, "It's for you." he said, motioning his hand as if presenting his outfit. Chanyeol finds himself again in the middle of internal conflict.

"Baek...You know now is not really right..." he mumbled weakly, remembering their issue with Sehun.

"Chanyeol, don't you want to fuck me like this? Like your submissive little slut for your birthday? Hmn?" he pushes Chanyeol down to the bed, sitting over his legs with his thighs spread, "Don't you want me sitting over you as you ram inside me with all these on? I wear this just for your birthday, Yeol..." _fuck, _Chanyeol closes his eyes tight when he felt Baekhyun's bare skin under the skirt. He didn't even bother putting some underwear on.

"You don't need to do this just because it's my birthday, Baek." his deep voice made Baekhyun even more aggressive.

"Well I don't really need it..." Chanyeol breathes a hard _'fuck'_ when he felt Baekhyun grinding his ass against his hard on, "I want it... I want you to fuck me like this."

When his eyes travel back to the smaller's pretty face specifically his moist lips, his doubts were gone in an instant. All his guilt and worry are forgotten.

This is just how Baekhyun affects him, he got his mind completely lost.

His hands pull up the smaller's uniform top up to his armpit, his lips place heavy kisses on Baekhyun's torso, licking and sucking on his chest and nipples to leave his territorial marks. Baekhyun has his hand on Chanyeol's hair, while the other one holds the hem of his top to keep his torso bare and continuously sucked.

He flashes a smirk as he groans when Chanyeol roughly holds his bare back, to keep him in place. He uses his hand on his hair to force him into tilting his head upward. He then leans down and kisses him like the way they usually do. Rough to passionate.

"_Shit._" Chanyeol cussed as soon as he lost his breath, "so hot...baby..." he whispered, making Baekhyun smile at his struggling state.

"Say what you want me to do, baby. Anything." Baekhyun said teasingly. Chanyeol hurriedly stands up and takes off his clothes, from top to bottom, revealing his standing hard cock dripping with his own precum.

Baekhyun remains sitting on the bed, watching Chanyeol's gloriousness in front of him. His costume and wig are surprisingly still intact, but he doesn't bother taking them off. He wants them to be removed unintentionally through the process.

Chanyeol looks at him with his lustful eyes, Baekhyun knew what should be done. He wastes no time as he kneels in front of Chanyeol's shaft, holding it with his slender hands before licking the tip. His soft mouth traced the slit of his head.

"Oh _fuck..._" Chanyeol's vision goes a little blurry in so much pleasure. His hands furiously grabbed the smaller's fake brunette locks, arching his hips back and forth to fuck Baekhyun's mouth deeper.

Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol's tip reaching his throat, he gags a little so he went sloppier when he can tell from Chanyeol's moan that he's close. Baekhyun could feel his own cock twitching under his skirt.

"Ah, yes...ah _fuck.._." Chanyeol explodes inside his mouth, Baekhyun didn't even let a single drop go to waste when he swallowed it all. Chanyeol cussed a few more times inside his head, looking how prettier Baekhyun is kneeling in front of him, taking all of his cum.

He pulls Baekhyun up and pushes him back to the sheets. He makes him lay completely on his back while he spreads his thighs to get a good look of his tight pinkish hole. Baekhyun groans when he feels Chanyeol's breath against his exposed parts.

Chanyeol's gaze travels from Baekhyun's hole to his milky thighs, _goddamn,_ those thick and chunky thighs are surely the first among his hundred assets. They're just perfect.

He starts placing light and feathery kisses on Baekhyun's thighs, tickling him a bit. Right then, he also bites it, sucking them with his teeth as if he's a painter and Baekhyun is his perfect canvas.

Chanyeol stands up and walks to his side drawer to get the bottle of lube. He stands up naked, unashamed as he drips the sticky substance on his hands. Baekhyun groans in impatience while watching him. He just badly wants Chanyeol to be inside him now, but the taller doesn't want to rush.

"Yeol, please..." Baekhyun can't watch Chanyeol prolonging his agony, he groans when he can feel nothing but the cold air against his ass. He's impatient for warmth. Warmth from Chanyeol's body. He groans again when he can smell the sweet scent of the lubricant. God knows how horny he is right now.

He flinched when he felt Chanyeol's rough finger pressing his puckered hole. He's certain that the other applied too much lube because he could feel it dripping down his ass. Chanyeol pushes one finger inside him, fingerfucking him in a rapid pace. Baekhyun arches his hips when two fingers fill him inside.

"Baek, relax..." Chanyeol huskily commands, "You're clenching around my fingers, baby." he grinned.

"I c-can't help it." Baekhyun's face flushed in deep red.

Chanyeol impatiently pulls his skirt up to his tummy, without taking it off. Baekhyun lets out a shriek when Chanyeol's other hand starts massaging his hard dick with the other one still doing the magic inside his hole. He moves his large hand up and down, giving Baekhyun the ultimate handjob and fingerfuck of his life.

"Oh God, Chanyeol!" his voice broke, he doesn't know where to focus because his eyes starts pooling with tears in too much pleasure. Chanyeol could already feel his cock erecting again just by watching Baekhyun's priceless expressions. He does this face that makes Chanyeol's dick envious of his own fingers.

Soon enough, Baekhyun cums on his own stomach, spurting some on Chanyeol's hand. He sighs when he felt nothing but emptiness inside him after Chanyeol pulled his fingers out.

"C-Chanyeol _please..._" he couldn't recognize his pleading voice. He just wants Chanyeol inside him now. He can't get enough.

"Yes, baby?" he massages Baekhyun's leg as he questioned, "What is it? Say what you want..."

"M-More... I want more, please..." he begged. He feels his girly uniform sticking on his skin because of sweat.

Chanyeol kneels on his bed, shifting over Baekhyun's body. He smiles as he stares back at Baekhyun's intense gaze.

"Wider." he commands, pushing both the smaller's knees close to his chest, "hold your knees for me, baby." he whispered.

Baekhyun obeys in an instant, embracing his knees to give Chanyeol more access. He felt the tip of his cock against his ass, rubbing it teasingly on his hole.

"_Please,_ Yeol..."

Chanyeol lets out a harsh grunt before pushing his length inside, not even bothering going slow as he comletely rams his cock inside. His biceps flexed while he holds his weight on top of the smaller male.

"_Nnghh―_ah! Ah!" his grasp on his legs becomes tighter as Chanyeol slams himself inside him. Chanyeol grunts every thrust while Baekhyun completely becomes a moaning mess.

Baekhyun badly wants to taste Chanyeol's lips, ravish it with his own. He can't help himself from letting go of his knees to completely wrap his legs around the taller's waist. Chanyeol leans down in return to kiss him as they continue to fuck. He impatiently throws the wig from Baekhyun's head when it started covering the smaller's face. Baekhyun chuckles.

"_Fuck,_ you're so beautiful." he can't help mumbling, digging into his flesh deeper, "Ah _shit_, baby."

It isn't the first time he heard this but Baekhyun finds himself blushing uncontrollably again. Thankfully, Chanyeol's too preoccupied to notice it.

Baekhyun suppressed a scream when Chanyeol hits his sensitive flesh, Chanyeol looks at his face when he bit his lip.

"Here?" he asks, trying to hit it again. Baekhyun whimpers weakly, "Right here, _ugh,_ huh baby?" he hits the best spot again, Baekhyun cries in pleasure.

"Scream all you want, babe. No one's gonna hear you." he hits Baekhyun's prostate repeatedly, making sure Baekhyun screams his heart out. Baekhyun's nails dig deeper on the skin of his back, making him thrust more wildly.

"_Ughh,_ Y-Yeol!"

His whole body shakes in excitement as he feels his climax nearing. He continues arching his hips to meet Chanyeol's sensual thrusts. Baekhyun screams another lewd moan before releasing his cream onto Chanyeol's and his own torso. Chanyeol's thrusts become harsher until he reaches his orgasm, splatting his thick cum inside Baekhyun's warm hole.

Their ragged breaths are the only noise in the room. Baekhyun's legs exhaustedly fell on the floor, just as Chanyeol's weight topples over him.

After almost losing his sanity from that euphoric moment, he then realized that his costume is still on him. He's impressed. First round isn't enough to take it off of him then.  
  
  
  
  
Both of them laughed exhaustedly as soon as they fall on their backs for the nth time. Their worn out bodies and eyes clearly tell that it's time to wrap the night up. Chanyeol lazily pulls the comforter to cover both their naked bodies. Baekhyun stares blankly at the ceiling, a trace of tired grin on his lips.

"Did you like it?" Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol from the side of his eyes, both still panting, "my gift?"

Chanyeol turns his head to stare at him, Baekhyun feels this but didn't even try removing his gaze from the ceiling.

"Is that how you normally gift someone?" Chanyeol asked, Baekhyun laughs with this before shaking his head.

"No. I never give presents." he responds in a low voice, "just this one."

Another exception.

"I'm flattered..." Chanyeol grins, "Am I a special one, by any chance?" he joked, laughing huskily.

He was speechless when Baekhyun shrugged. He anticipates the smaller's answer who's still staring at the ceiling.

"Maybe," he whispers, but just enough for Chanyeol to hear, "Maybe because I'm in...._lust_ with you?" Baekhyun laughs as is it's all ridiculous, he looks at him this time only to see Chanyeol's serious face.

"Is there even such thing?"

Baekhyun shrugs again.

"I don't think there is... But maybe we can be the only ones to use it." he doesn't know where all this glow around Baekhyun comes from when he's simply answering a question.

"You're so weird..." was the only thing Chanyeol could respond, "But okay. I guess... I'm in lust with you as well."

Baekhyun just chuckled, waiting for himself to doze off to sleep.

"Baekhyun..."

"Hmm?"

"Can I...ask for another gift?" Chanyeol can't even believe he's saying this.

Baekhyun looks at him again, his forehead creasing.

"What is it?"

Chanyeol blinks a few times.

"Stay 'til morning."

Baekhyun's face relaxed, his gaze once again avoids Chanyeol's eyes. But then he slowly nods.

"Okay."

Chanyeol finds himself smiling. He turns his body to face Baekhyun as he feels more sleepy.

"Damn. It's 12:23..." he heard Baekhyun mutter. He realized he didn't receive a decent greeting from him. But does it matter?

He feels the bed shifting, he opens his eyes a little to see Baekhyun facing him as well.

"I guess...belated happy birthday, Chanyeol." Baekhyun watching him to sleep was the last thing he saw before he fell into a deep slumber.  
  


x  


  
"Tsk." Chanyeol moves in annoyance when his doorbell repeatedly rings, he flinches with the noise.

He looks at the clock and it's 7AM, making him groan in irritation. Who in their right mind would blast his doorbell at this early hour?!

He stands up as he harshly grabs his pants, not even minding putting on some shirt. He looks at Baekhyun who's soundly sleeping on the bed, completely oblivious of the noise. He cussed before he walks out of his bedroom. He's definitely gonna go back to sleep after he sees whoever this is. And if it's Jaewon or Mihawk, he swears he'll smack their faces for ruining his sweet sleep.

The ringing continues, making him harshly open the door with a big frown on his face.

"Uh oh. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed and forgot to put some clothes on..."

Chanyeol's frown instantly fades off, his eyes widen in shock.

His grip on the doorknob tightens.

"Belated happy birthday." she smiles beautifully, "how are you, _my love?_"


	16. 15-She's Back

"Did you miss me that much that you couldn't talk, love?" she eyed him weirdly as she laughs softly. Chanyeol gulped.

_Fuck._

_This can't be happening._

"S-Shein..." his voice shakes and he couldn't even move his feet, _damn it Chanyeol, do something! _"I d-didn't know y-you're...you're going h-home."

Shein remained standing there, waiting for him to move. And when he didn't, her face slowly turned into a frown.

"I wasn't really expecting this kind of reaction you know." she sneered, throwing a slight glare at him. Chanyeol immediately fixed his hair, probably collecting his nerves as well, before opening both his arms to hug her. He could feel her hugging him back tightly, as if seizing the moment.

"Damn, I missed you so much Chanyeol..." she mumbled in between their embrace, her eyes both closed. Chanyeol just hummed in agreement but still has his eyes widely opened. He doesn't know what the hell he should do.

Shein was the one to pull away from the hug, back to smiling big at him. She looks behind Chanyeol then down to her luggage.

"Can I come in now?"

Chanyeol's heart skips a beat.

"Y-You'll come in?" he asked dumbly.

"Well obviously, I'm staying here right?" she shrugs, "It's fine 'cause you're alone here, right?"

Chanyeol doesn't know what to say. _She can't come in. Baekhyun is here._

"Love, are you okay? You're being so weird... Are you still sleepwalking?" she eyed him weirdly. Chanyeol's hands suddenly felt cold.

"No...it's just that..." he thinks quickly, "I didn't know you're staying here... The house is a mess. I-I'm a mess... Don't you want to go home first?" he suggested. She narrows her eyes at him.

"Don't you want me here?"

"N-No! It's not like that. I―"

"Then I'll come in!" she snapped before walking past him with her luggage. Chanyeol nervously glances at his room upstairs while Shein starts talking about her flight and some little details.

"I am so jetlagged I need a proper sleep." she sighs, "Can I sleep in your room?" she asked.

Chanyeol's breathing gets frantic.

"Don't you...want to sleep in the guest room instead?"

She creased her forehead.

"But we can just share a room. It's not like it's weird, love." she yawns tiredly before standing up and walking to the stairs, "You'll help me carry my luggage, right? I wanna see your room..."

"U-Uhm...it's, it's under construction so I'll just let you sleep in the guestroom first." he reasoned out, but she just rolled her eyes.

"Under construction? What's being fixed there? Can I see?" she asked curiously as she steps up the stairs. Chanyeol follows her with his long legs.

"L-Love, I'll just let you have the guestroom first―" he tried to block her way but the girl is persistent he ended up tripping.

"But I just want to see it..." she continued walking up the stairs.

_Shit. Shit!_

"Shein, please... It's messy―"

"I don't care, I just want to see it!"

Chanyeol grabs her wrist to stop her but she shakes it off.

"Here's your room, isn't it?" she pointed at the one with the gray door. Chanyeol shakes his head, planning to mislead her instead.

"T-That one." he pointed at the guest room. Shein looks over there before looking back to him with her eyes narrowed.

"Liar." she said before opening the door.

Chanyeol prepares himself for the trouble he's gonna be facing. He gulps in so much nervousness.

_None._

"Ass, this is your room!" she grins, "you can't trick me."

Baekhyun isn't there. Although the bed still has the trace of him. Chanyeol looks at the floor and Baekhyun's clothes aren't there either.

The door of his bathroom slightly creaked, his heart thumps as he glanced there.

He's there. He knows he's there.

Shein faces him and caught Chanyeol glancing on the bathroom door, she looks over there as well. Chanyeol watches her reaction as he gulps. _No, please._

She just shrugged.

"You're right, your room is a mess. It stinks and it's terribly messy. I think you should clean it first so yeah I'll stay in the guestroom for a while." she pouted and walked out of the room. Chanyeol sighed heavily in relief. He glanced once again to the bathroom door with his hands shaking slightly, then he followed her outside.

He unlocks the guest room right across his own room. At least now he's a bit calmer. As soon as he opens it, he faced her again to see her watching him with a smile.

Chanyeol smiles back.

"I know I must've disturbed your sleep that's why you're acting so bizarre so we can sleep for a while first, then I'll catch up with you later." she touched his face.

Chanyeol looks behind her and saw Baekhyun peaking through his door. He gulped before pulling Shein close to hug her tight. She flinched in surprise.

"Mmn, stop hugging me so much or else I wouldn't be able to sleep!" she laughed. Chanyeol directly stares at Baekhyun as he gestures him to move quietly. Baekhyun just stares back at him blankly before nodding, stepping lightly down the stairs before completely going out of his house.

"I just...missed you, love." he closed his eyes as mixed emotions started stabbing him in the chest. He could feel his girlfriend's hand caressing his back but his mind are left with the other who just left.

"I missed you too, baby." he pulls away as Shein holds his hand, "I want to kiss you right now but you haven't even brushed your teeth yet I don't want our first kiss to be spoiled." she joked, he smiled in return.

"Yeah...I think I should take a shower." he said. She only nods before kissing his cheek and going inside the room.

Chanyeol continued flashing a smile at her until he completely closed the door. Right then, his smile fades off as well.

He combs his hair with his hand in so much frustration. He doesn't know why he feels this way. He doesn't know what to feel.

He's supposed to be happy, right?  
  
  
  
  


"After your shift, go fetch me immediately okay? The dinner is at 7PM." Shein reminded as the car stopped at the end of a street.

They've been sticking together for days since she arrived. She wasn't joking when she said they'll catch up with each other since this has been the only time they've been together as a couple. Chanyeol felt like he needs to do anything she wishes because he's guilty for every shit he's done.

And that includes thinking about her cousin every now and then.

Chanyeol wanted to sigh. He doesn't even know how he'll face Shein's family in this situation.

"Love," he starts off, "do I really need to come?"

Shein looks at him abruptly.

"Of course, they want you to be there." she answers. When Chanyeol doesn't answer, she reaches for his hand, "Chanyeol, don't worry. You know they like you! Mom likes you. My sister does, and even my cousins like you even when we were still friends." he suddenly coughed because of the final phrase.

Chanyeol looks at her sweet face smiling at him. He couldn't help getting worried. He's nervous he'll mess up because of his endless guilt inside him. He can't even face his girlfriend properly and now he'll have to face her whole family too?

His gaze falls on their hands.

"Is...Baekhyun coming?" he asked in a low voice. Shein's smile slightly fades but her face quickly brightens up again even before Chanyeol could notice.

"I don't know." she casually shrugs, "I haven't really talked to him yet. I don't know if Marge asked him." she answered without looking at Chanyeol.

"Oh. Aren't you in talking terms right now?" Chanyeol can't help asking.

"W-Well..." he noticed how Shein stuttered, "the last time I talked to him was before I went here. In the plane actually. We're still talking of course!" she forced a smile. Chanyeol couldn't help figuring this out in his mind.

_But he was with me that time._

Chanyeol chose not to answer. He shouldn't say that of course. Plus he doesn't really get why Shein would lie about this.

Shein excitedly takes off her seatbelt as soon as they reached her friend's house, Chanyeol only watches her while smiling. When she sees this, she leans to him and locks their lips together.

He flinched with the sudden act, yet despite of a bit of hesitation, he kisses her back when she goes deeper. He could feel Shein smiling against his lips, he holds her face with both his hands.

She pulls away but their faces are still so close. Chanyeol can't help looking back at her lips where her lipstick is slightly smudged. He leans again but she moves away.

"Enough!" she smiled cheekily. She takes a quick peck on his lips before gleefully hopping off the car.

Before completely closing the door, she teasingly narrows her eyes at him.

"Behave! Don't even dare to look at some other chick in your office!" she laughed before closing the door.

Chanyeol sighs before he starts driving again.

At least she decided to stay all day with her friends because it'll be hard if she stays at home and discover something she shouldn't.

Once he reached the office, his chest starts thumping in an unusual way. He prepares himself if he'll ever see the other male. Although, he doesn't exactly know what to say if ever he'll run into him. It's like awkwardness all over again.

Chanyeol badly wants to say sorry. Well he doesn't really know that Shein will come back that day but he feels like he still screwed it all up.

But what exactly will he say? _I'm sorry Baekhyun, for fucking it all up when you finally decided to sleep over at my house_?

"Ugh." Chanyeol grunted in frustration. He just decided to let it be. He'll just let it happen spontaneously like how this all set up actually brought him into this misery.

Surprisingly, when he got to his cubicle, the one beside him is empty. He subtly looks around the place to find the familiar brunette but he failed. He curiously looks over Baekhyun's cubicle but it seems untouched.

"Hey," he stopped an intern who's walking past his cubicle. The intern nervously looks up to him who seems to be very intimidated by Chanyeol's strong aura. Chanyeol noticed this so he smiles.

"Have you seen Baekhyun?" he asked kindly. The intern lightens up a bit but still looked intimidated.

"Uh, Mr Byun Sir?" she asks to make sure, "Well, he's with the manager and Ms Moon. Mr Lin wanted them to monitor the project to be put up today." she said politely. Chanyeol nods and she quickly excused herself.

He glances back to the empty cubicle beside him, slightly worried as he remembers the perverted businessman from the meeting months ago. The thought of not being there to look after Baekhyun concerns him.

He unconsciously pulls out his phone from his pocket. Gulping us he types a message he's not really sure of.

_To: Baek_

_Are|_

He bit his lips when he felt unsure of continuing.

Just the thought of him being harassed again makes him pissed.

_To: Baek_

_Are you okay?|_

His finger is an inch away from the send button. He contemplates whether he'll send it or not.

Because is Baekhyun okay now?

Was he okay with what happened a few days ago?

Chanyeol grunts again before deleting the words he just typed and just decided to put his phone back to his pocket.

Sure enough. He's sure as hell that Baekhyun will only say it's fine. Because that's where he's good at. Pretending everything's good and normal when deep inside him, he's in chaos.  
  
  


x

His shift for the day went on so slow. Every now and then, he takes a quick glance on the cubicle next to him or the sliding door.

Even before logging out and leaving, he subtly hoped on seeing someone, but he didn't. And somehow, not seeing a certain person takes Chanyeol's mood completely down the floor.

"Are you alright, love?" Shein asked when she noticed his serious face as they reached the restaurant.

"Yup." he answered, totally not convincing the other.

"Don't be nervous. I'm here." she said and leaned to kiss his cheek. Chanyeol just smiled and nodded.

Maybe he really is...just nervous.

"Let's go?" she smiled reassuringly before both of them went inside, hands intertwined.

People turn their heads as they walk inside. The fact that he's holding hands with a beautiful woman adds up to his already oozing visual. People watch them in awe. Chanyeol looks down in consciousness while Shein looks totally the opposite, chinning up with so much superiority. She knows it. She knows she looks great. That they're a perfect combo. A dashing couple.

"Oh my God!" Shein's mother was the one to see them, "look at you two! You look amazing..." she stood up to kiss them both on the cheeks, Chanyeol couldn't help gulping as he smiles shyly.

"Of course, Mom. It's given." she answered. Her other cousins also stood up to greet them, Chanyeol met some of them before but the others are unfamiliar.

He looks around the place. Baekhyun isn't there.

"So..." Shein's mother started off as they all sat down. Her looks are just like her daughter, sophisticated and intimidating. The way her gaze linger on Chanyeol makes the taller sit uncomfortably on his seat, "Long time no see, Chanyeol. How have you been?"

Shein watches him with a smile, not noticing how uneasy he is.

"I'm doing great, Ma'am." he forced a smile.

"Oh please. Drop the formalities, dear. Call me Mom." she chuckled, the cousins beside him laughed because of this.

"Mom!" Shein scolded but she smiled as well. Chanyeol becomes even more fidgety.

"How long are you planning to stay here, Shein?" Marge asked, shifting to another topic.

"My leave is only valid for 3 weeks, since I got the project. But who knows... if something happens then I might just stay here for good." she glanced at Chanyeol. He suddenly felt pressured with the thoughts running in his mind. He hopes she's not pertaining to what he thinks she is because..._he's not ready._

Not in this situation.

"You sure you didn't leave anything important in Japan?" her sister asked. Chanyeol continues sipping his drink, he didn't even notice how his girlfriend suddenly become stunned beside him.

"N-No. I didn't." she said, Chanyeol heard her stutter so he looks at her. Shein avoided his gaze as she casually continued eating.

"Don't you have any plans on getting married?" Shein's mom suddenly asked. Chanyeol almost spits his drink as he coughs. The whole table laughed.

"Auntie, it's too early, don't you think?" one of her cousin asked. Shein's mom just shrugged.

"It's not. They've been together for years now and they're not getting any younger." she explained. Chanyeol remained staring at his own plate, "They're both financially stable. And Shein can finally stand by her responsibilities. You should think about it by now." she said. Her gaze directed to the both of them, especially Chanyeol.

"Mom, relax. We haven't really seized our time as a couple yet." Shein says when she noticed how the man beside her remains speechless, "And besides... Chanyeol hasn't even popped the question yet." she said, a hint of tease in her voice.

Chanyeol just smiled even when he doesn't really feel like smiling. He wants to get out of this place. The atmosphere is suffocating him.

If he's been asked the same question a year ago, then he will not hesitate even just for a bit about marrying the girl of his dreams beside him.

But now, everything's just different.

He isn't ready.

"OMG! Here he is!" Marge shrieked, looking at someone behind them.

Chanyeol felt a thump in his chest even without seeing it yet. He and Shein are the last ones to turn and look.

"I knew Baek could never resist me!" Marge stood up and hugged Baekhyun, who looks equally surprised as them. His face is serious but he managed to fake a smile when Marge hugged him, his eyes lingered on the new girl from the circle then to Chanyeol.

"I thought..." he mumbles, avoiding Chanyeol's gaze, "Marge, I thought we're having dinner together. Just the two of us." he whispered but Chanyeol heard.

Shein watches them, she's smiling but her brows are raised.

"Oops, I just told you we're gonna have dinner. I didn't say that it's only the two of us!" she laughed, satisfied for tricking Baekhyun. Baekhyun remained standing there, not even looking happy for seeing his cousins. Marge just dragged him to sit beside her, in front of Chanyeol.

"Dear, you're always busy. We barely see you! And aren't you happy to see your favorite cousin back?" Shein's mom said to Baekhyun who remained his eye contact with Shein. Their gaze builds up some kind of tension but the people around don't even notice it. At least not yet.

"Of course, I'm happy." Baekhyun responds, his eyes meaningfully lingers on his cousin in front before completely turning to his Aunt, "I was just busy lately, Auntie. But I'm happy Shein's back."

They continue sharing stories, but the three of them seemed to be the most silent ones for an unknown reason.

They didn't think that sharing each other's deepest secrets could be this terrible.

Chanyeol and his secret with Baekhyun, Shein's own dirty secret, while Baekhyun knowing both of theirs.

_Neat._

"So Baek, have you met Chanyeol?" one of their cousins asked.

"Yep," Baekhyun answers without removing his eyes from his food, "we work in the same company."

"Really?!" most of them shrieked in surprise. Chanyeol forced a smile, Baekhyun casually shrugged, while Shein looked constipated.

"What a small world!"

"So you two are close?" they asked.

Baekhyun blankly glanced at Chanyeol, who's been watching him for some time now.

He shrugs.

"You can say that." the smaller says, "after all, we've been working together for more than a year now."

Shein isn't smiling now. Especially if her boyfriend's completely drowned by someone's presence.

"So all this time that Shein's not here, someone's still looking after her man." one of her cousin joked, but the three of them do not find this very amusing.

"Right. I bet I'm even closer to him than Shein is." Baekhyun blurted out. They stopped laughing. Chanyeol kicks him under the table.

Shein's face is unreadable right now.

"I'm kidding!" Baekhyun chuckles, not even apologetic, "Geez, you guys..."

"Are you seeing someone right now, darling?" his Aunt couldn't help asking.

Baekhyun couldn't answer. Shein needed to tap Chanyeol because he stopped eating his food for a while now.

"No..." he said, continuing to eat.

"Tss. Baek, you need to stop fooling around. You're not a teenager anymore." Jinri rolls her eyes, "Among us all, you're the only one who's single."

Baekhyun narrows his eyes. _So being single is bad now but hooking up with two guys isn't?_

Before he could even answer, Shein clears her throat.

"Will you let him be, Jinri? We all know Baek's like that. He likes being..." Shein smiles with mockery, "...alone."

Chanyeol faces Shein, his brows creased in annoyance. Shein only shrugs casually.

Baekhyun's fist are tight under the table.

"Huh?" Marge muttered.

"Being on his own, I mean. Sorry." Shein pursed her lips but Baekhyun badly wants to splash her the wine she's holding.

For someone who got their secret known by someone else, she's acting so brave and shameless. That's what Baekhyun thinks.

"Can you stop making it sound like I need it so much, Jinri?" Baekhyun snaps, "Relationship is the last thing I want right now."

"Right!" Shein agreed.

"I'd rather be alone than hook up with two guys at a time or worst, be cheated on." he sipped his tea, hiding his grin when Shein's mocking gaze turns to a glare.

Chanyeol can't help but notice how the words coming from both Baekhyun and Shein seem to have hidden meanings. His gaze moves between the both of them from time to time.

"Wow, is it really coming from you..." Shein asked, clenching her jaw when she couldn't find the words to answer.

Baekhyun grins.

"Yes. From me, Sheiny." he taunts, "from me..."

Chanyeol looks at them curiously. He couldn't follow where they're heading because he doesn't have any idea what's really going on.

"I swear these two got their own inside jokes somewhere." someone said.

"But Baekhyun dear, it's fine as long as you're being true to yourself." his Aunt said, making Shein choke with her own drink.

Baekhyun can't help but gulp when he realized where this is going.

"If your father can't accept your sexuality then just stay here with us. You deserve to be happy." his Aunt genuinely said that made the whole table silent.

Baekhyun stares down on his plate. Chanyeol stares at him, curious with what he heard. He doesn't know about this. Baekhyun never told him. But right now, he could almost read Baekhyun's emotions through his face and he doesn't know how he was suddenly able to do that.

"If Uncle tracks you down again, just tell us." his cousin said.

Chanyeol looks bewildered.

"What's with his father?" he can't help asking. Baekhyun looks up to meet his eyes, he stares back with his confused ones. He can't believe he doesn't know whatever this is. After all this time? He needs to know. He wants to know.

Shein's mom hesitates but she saw Chanyeol's utmost curiosity.

"Well, Chanyeol. His―"

"It's a long story, Love." Shein cuts off, drinking her wine, "You don't need to know." she said but Chanyeol remains creasing his brows, staring back at Baekhyun's eyes until the smaller completely avoids his questioning gaze.

"Excuse me." Baekhyun stands up and walks away, heading to the bathroom. Chanyeol's gaze followed him, but as much as he wants to follow him and ask him things, he knows he can't. It's not that easy.

Baekhyun needed to calm himself from all the tension from the dinner. He washed his hands on the sink before staring at his face in the mirror. He stayed for a little while before he decides to get out and go back.

He stopped midway when he saw Shein leaning on the wall outside the rest room, obviously waiting for him to come out.

Baekhyun chuckles.

"I swear to God, your effort sometimes is just on another level." he sarcastically said, gesturing his hand to level his head.

She smiled back in sarcasm.

"You still got the same talent, Baekhyun." she crosses her arms over her chest, "making everyone look at you, talk about you. Making everything about you."

Baekhyun looks at her in amusement. _She's still the same old girl. Not even her secrets can make her a bit more moral._

"Thanks," Baekhyun smiles, "Am I that interesting that you decided to follow me wherever I go?"

She hides her irritation in her smile, she takes a step, expecting Baekhyun to step back but the other didn't even blink.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"I don't do bitches a favor." he snapped. She grits her teeth.

"Feisty," she hisses, "I just want you to stay away from Chanyeol because I don't want him getting involved with people like you."

"Threatened?" he asked, rubbing his chin with his hand. He saw the rage in his cousin's eyes while she tries to compose herself.

"I'm not. Not with someone like you, at least. You can't even have some decency in your body." she snaps back, "but I know what you're capable of doing―"

"Let's face it, Shein." Baekhyun talks seriously, making his cousin blink a few times, "If we're basing from the things I'm capable of then your nasty little secret should've been spilled a long time ago." he says, not even trying to keep his voice down. Shein breathes frantically.

"Plus don't even talk to me about decency. Between the two of us, you're the one who completely lost it."

"Well, you know what I can do if you decide to speak about it. I've done it before, Baek. Don't think I can't do it again." she threatened.

"Exactly. You made them hurt me before and I'm still here." Baekhyun's jaw hardens as he continues, "I still didn't say anything, did I? Do it again this time, and I'll make sure your secret spills in the most unexpected way you can expect, you fucking bitch."

Shein's fists are shaking as she glared at him.

"Don't you fucking dare, Baekhyun!" her voice broke as her hand raised a little, attempting to hit Baekhyun.

"Shein!" Chanyeol's deep voice echoed behind her, making her hand fall on her side. Chanyeol quickly walks towards them, seeing both of them breathing heavily.

Baekhyun avoids his gaze, trying to keep his unbothered face.

"What's happening?" he asked the both of them but no one answered.

Shein gulps as she purses her lips. She tries to look calm as well.

"N-Nothing." she answers, keeping her gaze down, "let's go home, Chanyeol. I'm tired." she turned around and started walking away. Chanyeol remained standing there, watching Baekhyun as if he's waiting for him to say something or even just look at him.

"Chanyeol!" Shein called angrily when she realized he didn't follow. Baekhyun looks at him as he turns away.  
  
  
  
"What was that?" Chanyeol asks as soon as they reached the car. Shein didn't even bother facing him, glancing outside the window after she puts on her seatbelt, "Why were you shouting at him?"

"Love. It's nothing. Let's quit it. It's not something serious, okay?"

"What? Do you think I'm stupid? All those meaningful stares and conversations? I don't understand, why can't you just tell me everything I need to know?" his voice raised.

"Why do you care so much about Baekhyun?!" she yelled angrily.

"This is not just about him, okay?!"

"Then stop it! Stop asking me!" Chanyeol looks at her in disbelief. Shein looks unusually opposite from her calm and delicate self, "You don't need to know about it!"

"Fuck." Chanyeol cusses, "I'm getting told what I need and don't need to know in this relationship as well? Is that it?"

"Chanyeol, stop it! Seriously! You're annoying the shit out of me! Will you just fucking drive home?!" Shein said through gritted teeth. Chanyeol's went speechless because of disbelief.

He bites his tongue to stop himself from getting driven by his anger. The silence takes over as he starts driving. Their ragged breathing are the only noise in the car.

"You know what..." he hears Shein talk, "Forget it. Just drop me off at Sunny's house tonight, I'm sleeping there." she coldly says, not even looking away from the window.

Chanyeol surprisingly gets relieved by this, he doesn't even try arguing.

She says nothing as he drops her off in front of her friend's house.

"Just text me if you want me to fetch you." Chanyeol says before the door slammed in front of his face. He sighed in exhaustion before he drives back to his house.  
  
  


  
It's 2AM and Chanyeol is still sitting in front of his keyboard and music set, his headphones cover both his ears as he continues pressing random keys without getting a proper tune.

When he realized it's not working, he harshly pulls the headphones away from his ears and throws them on the table. His jaw hardened when he remembers every single thing that frustrates him on this day alone. He knows all these questions will never let him sleep.

His phone rang and he sees Heechul's name on the screen. He sits up straight before answering it.

"Chanyeol?" he laughs a little, "That was fast, I didn't actually think you're still awake."

Chanyeol creases his forehead, why would Heechul call this late?

"Well I'm finishing something," Chanyeol answers, "Why did you call?"

"Uhm... I didn't know you're busy so..." Heechul mumbles, "nevermind..."

"Heechul." he sighs, "What's the problem? Do you need help?"

"I'm at Han River right now," Heechul says, "Baekhyun's with me..."

"Beside you? What are you doing there right now?" as if his system automatically acts upon it, he stands up, grabbing his coat and keys.

"No, not beside me. He's on the edge of the river, sitting and...I don't know." Chanyeol continues to listen as he talks, walking his way out and to his car, "He says he wants to see the eclipse. But it's not 'til 3, and he doesn't even have a telescope with him..."

Chanyeol gulps as he starts driving to where they are.

"I'm sorry for calling you, Chanyeol... It's just that...you're the first person I can think of when he's being like this. He told me I can leave but I couldn't. Not when he's like this."

Chanyeol drives a little faster. Fortunately, the road isn't packed since it's midnight.

When he got there, he sees Heechul sitting alone on the bench. He looks around and sees Baekhyun's small body curled up as he sits on the grass, a little far away from where Heechul is.

"Chanyeol..." Heechul rubs his eyes when he saw him walking near, "He's right there." Chanyeol sits beside him as they both look at Baekhyun who's not even moving from his position.

"Why does he want to..."

"See the eclipse?" Heechul asks, obviously sleepy already, "I don't know... I mean, he's always like that. Fascinated by stars and moon and all the shit astronomy has to offer. He even has a telescope of his own."

Chanyeol nods when he recalled seeing a telescope inside Baekhyun's bedroom. But he doesn't know that Baekhyun is fond of astronomy. Too much that he's willing to stay up at Han River just to see an eclipse that he can even barely see with his naked eyes.

He smiles a little, looking at the smaller who seemed to wake up from a little nap and tilts his head up to see if the moon changed already.

"You can go home now, Heechul. I'll drive him home." he says when he noticed how tired Heechul is. His eyes widen when he remembers something important, "Wait. Can I ask you something?"

Heechul faces him.

"Do you... know what's the issue between Baekhyun and his father?"

"Oh... Baekhyun doesn't really want to talk about it that much so even if I want to tell you a lot, I don't know much as well." Chanyeol nodded at this.

"It's okay. I'm just wondering... is he hurting Baekhyun?"

"His father is an alcoholic rich man so he can never accept that his only son is gay. I remember that he used to beat him a lot, especially when we were in college. But Baekhyun didn't say anything. He just came to school with bruises and fractures." Heechul gulped when he finished. Chanyeol could feel the sudden rage inside him by hearing this.

"Is that why he's not living with them?"

Heechul nods, "As soon as we graduated, he immediately ran away. But whenever his father tracks him down, he forces him to give up his sexuality and come back home to be a "responsible person" by his standard. And when he defies him, he gets beaten again. I swear, that man is fucking mental." Heechul added.

Chanyeol's heart twitches with both indignation and sympathy. He looks at Baekhyun and he understands. He understands everything he couldn't before whenever he looks at Baekhyun's puzzling life.

"But what about his Mom?" he asked again but this time, Heechul just shrugs.

"That's the real question, isn't it? Baekhyun never talks about her." Chanyeol curiously looks at him. _So even Heechul doesn't know?_

"Is she alive? Or?"

"Pretty sure she's alive because I've seen her at our graduation before but Baekhyun's just too hesitant to talk about her." Heechul sighs, "Goddamn, who needs a rosary when you got a friend whose life is more complex than a mystery..." he sadly smiles at Chanyeol before standing up.

"Thank you, Chanyeol."

He turns to look at Heechul after hearing this.

"I'm just thankful...that someone's finally there for Baekhyun because before I feel like, we never succeeded in making him trust anyone even us. You just don't know how satisfying it is, having someone to call when Baekhyun acts like this, because not even us can understand him." his eyes pooled with tears but he immediately shook his head as he laughs.

"Don't mind me, I'm just drunk." he forces a laugh, "I'll go ahead, take care. Nighty!"

Chanyeol didn't leave his seat until he could see that Heechul safely got inside a cab, plus his words still linger in his mind.

He turns toward Baekhyun's direction and started walking closer to him. He could see that the smaller's clothes are still the same one he wore from the dinner last night.

Baekhyun's sleepy eyes open wide in surprise when Chanyeol sat beside him. Chanyeol doesn't stare back because he looks directly at the moon above, which is going reddish. He dismissed Baekhyun being taken aback by his presence.

"Where's Heechul?" his voice is hoarse. He looks around, probably trying to find his friend who already left.

"I told him to go home." Chanyeol looks at him seriously, "he's exhausted, Baek. You can't just drag him along all the time, wherever you want." he scolded Baekhyun, who unconsciously scrunches his nose in annoyance. Chanyeol holds back a grin.

"That bitch." he heard him mumble. Chanyeol raised his brow at him.

"If you feel like being spontaneous, then call me instead." Chanyeol looks at the moon again, "I'll go with you."

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him.

"And why would I do that?" he sarcastically asks, "Does Shein even know you're here?"

"She decided to sleep over at her friend's house." Chanyeol answered.

"Figures." Baekhyun shrugs, "Well it's not like I'll decide to be spontaneous whenever you both got into a lover's quarrel so no thanks."

Chanyeol doesn't answer. Either way, he knows he'll do the same thing.

"Can we go home now?"

"But the moon isn't in a full phase yet!" Baekhyun shook his head, turning his attention back to the moon.

"You can't even see it, it's so small." Chanyeol teased but Baekhyun only clicked his tongue.

The moon turns into a darker shade of red, and Chanyeol watches how Baekhyun's mouth opens in awe with his full attention on the moon above.

"I don't get it." Chanyeol blurts out, "why are you here in this hour just to watch the moon? Everyone's probably in their deep sleep, not giving a single shit about it."

"Well it's their loss, not mine. I can get my sleep back but seeing this will take another months or years." Baekhyun faces him, "do you get it?"

"No. I still think that the moon looks ordinary and the same."

"Fuck you then." Baekhyun cusses in irritation, "how dare you insult my sole happiness when you get easily joyful for a petty bright building."

"How many times should I tell you that it's a fucking tower?"

"Well it's tiny and ugly."

They glared at each other with the petty insults.

"It's not ugly, it's bright and vibrant." Chanyeol lamely reasoned out making Baekhyun burst in laughter.

"What kind of description is that? Bright and vibrant? What are you, a fucking 10 year old?"

"Said by someone who used 'tiny and ugly'!"

"Because it is! It's old and tiny. I don't even know why you like it so much."

Chanyeol couldn't believe they're bickering in the middle of the night.

"Because my Mom likes it, okay? Have you even heard about 'sentimental value'? Huh? You're so judgmental." Chanyeol frowned, Baekhyun's smile turns into a smug one.

"Of course, just like how heavenly bodies are to me. The only difference is that I don't need a mother to make me value such things." he casually said before moving his gaze down to the river. Chanyeol is speechless, he didn't know that saying this can easily pull the trigger.

"Why..." he gulps as he carefully tries to ask, "Wasn't it your Mom who taught you these basic things?" Chanyeol hesitantly brings it up, trying to get Baekhyun tell him everything.

Instead, he just chuckled.

"No. I learned about this on my own. I learned to do everything on my own. I guess my mother was too spineless to teach me anything." he couldn't help but notice the trace of bitterness in Baekhyun's voice. Chanyeol wasn't able to answer, making silence take over them once more.

"I don't even know how she managed to give birth to me." Baekhyun mumbles with a grin, his eyes are cold.

Chanyeol gulps as he watches Baekhyun's face. Baekhyun feels this but he didn't dare look back so he stands up from the grass, taking a last glance on the moon.

"She's a weakling." he says with the same raw smile, "I'm tired. I wanna go home." he caught Chanyeol's worried eyes. He looked away and started walking.

Chanyeol's heart twinges in pain for someone else's misery.  
  


  
  
It's almost dawn when they reached Baekhyun's apartment. They haven't talked since then because Baekhyun was asleep the entire time in his car, or at least that's what he wanted Chanyeol to believe.

Chanyeol's heart jumped when he sees the familiar door. He never thought this room will affect him in the slightest ways. And seeing Baekhyun opening it, almost bidding goodbye before they go back to their pretentious setup strangely upsets him.

"So..." Baekhyun awkwardly mutters from the other side of the door, blinking at Chanyeol as if they both don't know what happens next. "Thanks for the ride." his puffy eyes made him look cuter.

"So." Chanyeol repeats, flashing his one dimple with his sheepish smile, "I should go now, right?"

Baekhyun gulps as he raises both his brows. He stands with both his heel like how he does when he's uneasy. Maybe because he feels a lot of emotions today?

_Don't._

"Only if you didn't forget anything." he blurted out. Both of them remained standing stiffly.

Chanyeol puts his cold hands in his pocket. He shakes his head.

"I don't think I did." he answered, making Baekhyun slowly nod his head. Chanyeol takes a slow step backward, while Baekhyun closes the door with the same pace.

Chanyeol turns away, hearing the door behind him close while he walks. He shakes his head in frustration.

_Why won't you say it, Chanyeol?! Fuck! Just—_

His feet quickly made their way back in front of the door where he places heavy knocks. Baekhyun opens it up in an instant to meet Chanyeol's heavy and demanding kisses, giving it back with his same hungry ones. As if he expected it. As if he wanted it too.

They moan against each other's mouths, pulling each other closer as if they couldn't get enough.

Chanyeol's large arms envelope around his waist and neck, letting his tongue do the rhythm inside his mouth.

"I missed this..." Chanyeol couldn't help but grunt, his husky voice filled with lust, "missed..." he droops down to Baekhyun's neck with his wet lips, "this all."

"_Mmn..._" Baekhyun groaned in response, finding his clothes all scattered on the floor after a few more heated kisses.

In no time, they found themselves bare naked on the couch, grinding against each other's warmth. Chanyeol leaves his possessive little marks onto Baekhyun's skin like how he always does. His large hands cup Baekhyun's ass to meet his shaft through his hole.

"Ride me, baby." he grunted, letting his cock fill in Baekhyun's warm hole. Baekhyun's muffled moans turn into loud ones when he starts moving up and down, guided by Chanyeol's hands. Baekhyun could feel it, it's getting clearer to him. Very clear.

And it's a lot scarier than he thought.

He looks at Chanyeol's pleasured face in front of him as his heart thumps faster, leveling with the pace of their erotic thrusts. "This can't be happening..." he whispers between his moans. He buries his face on Chanyeol's neck as they thrust faster, his grip on his shoulder tightens, "no..._I can't..._t-this can't be." he continuously mumbled.

"What is it? Mmn..." Chanyeol hears this, "what can't happen, baby? Huh?" he felt Baekhyun shaking his head against his neck. He soon dismissed it when his words completely drowned in their loud moans. They both reached their orgasm, with Baekhyun splatting out his cum all over their stomachs.

Baekhyun's face fell on his neck once again, not giving Chanyeol an access to see his face. Baekhyun doesn't move for a while, Chanyeol thought he had fallen asleep in exhaustion. He pulls both their weight down the couch to lay down in a more comfortable position. He places Baekhyun's head over his chest, he sees both his eyes are closed.

Chanyeol reaches for the side lamp and turns it off before completely closing his eyes. He waits until his breathing gets stable.

"I'm falling, Chanyeol." Baekhyun mumbles under his breath as he prevents another tear from falling on the taller's chest, "I'm falling and I want it to stop..."

Chanyeol's eyes opened.

He hears it.


	17. 16-Touché

_"P-Please, Appa... S-Stop..." he weakly pleaded, his eyes were pooled with hot tears. His body helplessly curled up on the floor as he coughed. Baekhyun couldn't feel his face as it scrunched in pain._

_But it was all he could do. Beg and cry. Plead to someone who's clearly heartless to even hear him out._

_"How many times should I tell you, fucking bastard, that I'm not going to have a homosexual for a son!" his cold and loud shout echoed within the high walls of their house. He kicked the poor child while he emphasized every word he uttered._

_Baekhyun's eyes shut closed. He bit his lip to suppress his sobs. He wanted to die. Is this life even worth living? Does a human deserve to be treated like this? He didn't understand. What's wrong in feeling this way? What's wrong about liking someone who's just like him?_

_"P-Please..." he whispered, almost losing his consciousness._

_"Never! You hear me?! I will fucking kill you if I see you being like that again. Do you understand?!" he heard the devil say. But isn't he being killed already? Isn't this all enough yet?_

_Questions. He had a lot of them. He was too young to understand everything._

_And no one even tried to help him understand._

_His vision got blurry. But before he completely passed out, he saw the face of his mother as she looked at him from outside the door. She was sobbing while she watched him being tortured._

_But she remained standing there, watched his son die little by little. She only stood there and did nothing._

Baekhyun woke up and his cheeks were stained with dried tears. He blinks a few times while his heart beats fast, picturing the same image inside his head. The image of a crying woman that haunts his dreams for seven years now.

Seven years and the amount of tears is still the same. Seven years and no one even knows how the same nightmare wakes him up almost every night.

It's been seven years but he's still helpless, with no one to save him.

"Hey." Chanyeol wasn't able to come up with a proper greeting because he doesn't really know how to talk to Sehun. He sighs when the younger looks at him coldly, as if he doesn't know him.

"Sehun, I know you're mad. But please listen to me first."

Sehun harshly throws both his drumsticks to the floor.

"Are you actually pleading me to listen to another possible bullshit?" he hissed in sarcasm. Chanyeol needed to keep his cool to find the next words to say.

"I know, I'm the worst person for doing this behind Shein's back... But I don't know how this all happened, I just knew one day that I've been sleeping with...Baekhyun every now and then. But that's it. We both know and we both agreed that it's all nothing. No strings attached." he gulped with the last phrase, remembering something. Sehun's eyes pierce through his soul, making him look away, "I love Shein and I feel like the guilt is killing me so I want to end this... I know you feel betrayed so if you really like Baekhyun, then I'll stay away from him if you want me to."

Sehun doesn't say anything.

Chanyeol becomes a lot more nervous when the younger stays silent. He knows that even Sehun doesn't really like Shein as a person, he feels bad for her so Chanyeol wants to give him assurance.

"Hun, I'm sorry."

"So sooner or later, you'll leave Baekhyun alone?" Sehun asks with the same cold voice. Chanyeol's mouth flew open when he mentions Baekhyun.

"I can't believe you, Hyung..." Sehun shakes his head, "that's it? Just because the guilt is too much you'll run away from it and go back to your perfect relationship because your perfect girlfriend is back? That's very convenient for you, isn't it?" Sehun continuously asked in disbelief.

Chanyeol's brows crease in confusion when Sehun becomes completely senseless to make this all about Baekhyun.

"What?" he blurts out, shaking his head, "Sehun, I'm not running away from it. Like I told you, Baekhyun and I don't have anything aside from a sexual relationship. And it's wrong! I know that! That's why I'm trying to fix this in an instant. If you like Baekhyun then..." Chanyeol paused when he felt the need to gulp.

Sehun raised his brows at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Then...you can have him. I'll stay away." he finished, his eyes on the floor.

Then there was silence again.

"Can you hear yourself? Hyung?" Sehun's mouth opened in disbelief.

Chanyeol is confused. He doesn't know what's wrong with what he said or the way he said it.

"Why are you making this so hard for me?"

"No one's making it hard for you but yourself." Sehun stands up, his gaze directed to Chanyeol, "Look, I don't care how you deal with your girl but Baekhyun doesn't deserve this."

Chanyeol wasn't able to answer.

"That's the problem with you. You're given so many options but you always take the wrong choice." Sehun's smile is filled with disappointment, "Hyung, don't do what you do just because of me, or anyone. Decide for yourself." he walked to the door while Chanyeol froze on his spot. He heard the younger speak again.

"And I will never force myself to Baekhyun. Never. Not when I'm not completely blind and stupid to see he's into someone else." he said before leaving.

Now he's confused. And more like...bothered.  


x

Chanyeol lays down on his side. His body curls up while he clutches the pillow under his head. He's wide awake. His thoughts continuously run inside his head like some kind of a gallop.

He feels the side of the bed behind him thumping. His nose meets a sweet scent when someone wraps an arm around him. He remains motionless, as if trying to convince Shein that he's sleeping when his eyes are wide open.

Her smooth skin felt cold against Chanyeol's warmth. She tightens her embrace around his body, nuzzling her face onto his back. But Chanyeol can't seem to get over his sea of thoughts, unaware that his girlfriend is starting place feathery kisses on his neck.

"Love."

"I like hugging you..." she said against his back. He could feel her smiling against him, making his heart twitch a little.

He cannot take this any longer. To fool someone who loves him so much. The guilt inside him seems to get worse every time he looks at Shein's face. He feels like dying.

Chanyeol pulls up his weight to sit, Shein looks at him with the same smile.

He clears his throat.

"I need to tell you something."

Shein narrows her eyes at him, she sits up on the bed to face Chanyeol properly.

Chanyeol takes a deep breath before opening his mouth to talk.

"Promise me you'll hear me out first―"

"Geez, why are you so serious?" Shein cracks up, letting out a small laugh but it completely fades off when her eyes widen, "Oh my god, are you going to propose?" she gasped.

Chanyeol shakes his head immediately, trying not to drift off from the main agenda.

"Tss." Shein pouts teasingly but she smiles again, "what is it, love? Stop looking at me like that. You're freaking me out!"

"No, love. Listen―"

"Are you sick?"

Chanyeol frantically shakes his head, failing to even cut her off.

"Then what? You don't love me anymore?" she asked, implying it as a joke but she made it sound so serious.

"No." Chanyeol answered in an instant, almost sounding defensive.

Shein looks at him seriously.

"No...I mean, it's not that..." Chanyeol sighs when he doesn't know where to start again, "You know I love you. You know that."

Shein sighs in relief.

"I love you too. Stop making me so scared, baby..." she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him fully on the lips. When Chanyeol thought she'll pull away immediately, she deepens the kiss. She shifts her body closer and straddles herself over Chanyeol's lap, clinging onto him intimately while they share a heated kiss.

Chanyeol tries to pull his head away, gasping for his breath and trying to make her listen, but she greedily holds his face back to kiss him again. When she pulls away, Chanyeol is almost relieved but it's all short-lived when she takes off her shirt, revealing her fair skin in her underwear. Chanyeol gulped, his eyes found hers and it's full of nothing but desire.

"L-Love..." his voice is hoarse, "listen to me first..."

"Mmn... Later, Yeol." her sweet scent is addicting, Chanyeol's eyelids felt heavy when he starts to lose himself. His hands are also lost, he runs them against her legs, making Shein let out soft whimpers of anticipation.

Chanyeol felt stiff. He doesn't move a bit, both losing himself and taken aback by the other's aggressiveness. Shein grabs both his hands and place them on her body, trying to make him do his part. _Touch her. _Chanyeol thinks to himself. _Do it like you mean it._

His large hands found her brassiere, sensually touching it as she moans. Chanyeol becomes rougher, as if he's trying to convince himself that he's not feeling wrong about this. _This is right. _He thinks.

Her slender body was pushed on the bed. Chanyeol towers over her, grasping both sides of her waist to keep her still. Shein's hands move in a swift pace, removing his shirt and throwing it somewhere.

Chanyeol's mind is in chaos. Both of them breathes frantically. He continues to convince himself to continue, just go with the flow. _There's no stopping. Making love with the girl you love is fucking normal._

These thoughts repeated in his mind like a mantra, making his grip and touch harder than usual. Shein lets out a yelp when he bites her lower lip, gasping with the steel-like taste. He's corrupted. He's like a man possessed because he can't even think straight. Deep inside him he knows that he's doing it too much, he wishes that Shein could stop him anytime but she seems to be into it as well to even pay attention.

_"This can't be..."_

His lips move to her neck, then down to her chest. He knows how his grip will leave a mark onto her skin but the voice in his head made him even clutch harder. Shein moans.

_"I'm falling, Chanyeol."_

He harshly stands up from the bed, his all messy hair partly covers his widening eyes.

"What?" Shein gently fixes her hair, her surprised gaze was focused on Chanyeol, "Baby, what is it?"

"Don't call me that."

Shein's mouth flew open. Chanyeol shuts his eyes closed because of the last thing he blurted out. He didn't mean it. He just flinches every time he hears that endearment. Especially if it comes from other people.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

Shein stares at him in confusion. She eventually stands up as she looks at Chanyeol, who's clutching his hair in frustration.

"I-I mean..." he breathes heavily, "Let's not do this n-now, Shein. Please." he pleaded, avoiding her gaze while he quickly picks up his shirt from the floor. Shein was dumbfounded. She could feel the coldness because of her exposed body but she can't even move in so much awe.

"What's wrong with this?" she asked in irritation after being interrupted in the middle.

"It's too early for us to do this, love. Please-" Chanyeol didn't know what to use as a reason. He couldn't say that he doesn't want to do this when he's constantly reminded of someone in the middle of kissing his own girlfriend.

But Shein doesn't want to let it go. She sits up straight on the edge of the bed, trying to catch Chanyeol's avoidant gaze.

"I don't understand you, Chanyeol." she shakes her head, "No, scratch that- I can never understand you. We're a couple, goddammit! You think I don't notice how you flinch with my simple touch? And now you don't even want to have sex! What the fuck is wrong with you?

"Tell me, have you found someone prettier? Someone better when I was gone?" her voice breaks, "What's the matter with you? It's like you're not interested in me anymore..." she bit her lips, her eyes are glassy.

"Are we having this conversation again?" Chanyeol tried to calm himself.

"Because it's true, isn't it? You're into someone else. I can feel it!"

"Stop making this about your insecurities, Shein!" his voice rises, making Shein's tears completely fall as she sobs, "Because it's not! I'm sick of all this bullshit when it shouldn't even be there in the first place! Tell me, do I have to assure you all the time? Do I always need to deal with your doubts?" his sharp tone made Shein sob harder.

It's his first time getting this mad at her. The sight and sound of her crying surprisingly do not make him panic or guilty. Instead, it triggers him more to burst out all his frustrations.

It's not her fault that Chanyeol's being like this, he knows that. But the fact that she continuously pushes him to his limits with her tantrums provokes him more.

But Chanyeol being Chanyeol, he soon comes to his senses and releases himself from the beast he had become when he sees Shein's crying got worse. He sighs and steps towards her. Her hands cover her face while her loud sobs are suppressed. Chanyeol tries to remove her hands to see her bloodshot eyes filled with tears.

And then he remembers what Sehun said. _You're given so many options but you always take the wrong choice._

_No._ He says in his mind. _I don't always have a choice._

"I'm sorry..." he said in defeat.

"No..." she mumbles, making Chanyeol stare at her. She wipes her tears and tries to calm herself before facing him.

"No, I'm the one who should apologize. It's just..." she stutters again, almost breaking down, "I've been gone for so long. I just want you to pay attention to me because this is our first time being together. You know how insecure I am most of the time because I've been neglected for so many times before... I just want you to stay with me because you know I love you so much a-and..." she cried again.

"Sshh..." he hushed, running his hands through her hair.

"You know that, Chanyeol. Right?" she sniffs, "You know that I've always tried proving myself to everyone but I just can't be their favorite. I can't make them pay attention to me even if I tried hard enough. And when you came..." she smiles sadly. Chanyeol's heart twinged, "y-you've been there for me, I'm used to being your main priority that's probably why I'm acting like this...I'm sorry."

Chanyeol unintentionally thought about Baekhyun again. Seeing Shein break down like this makes him recall the time when Baekhyun looked so weak in front of him. And it hurts him. It still does.

"You don't have to be insecure, love..." he holds her hands to his lap, "you're a great person. You're liked by so many people and you're living your dreams. There's nothing to be worried about."

"It's not just that!" she responds, "Even my family doesn't acknowledge my effort. How am I supposed to feel good about myself? They clearly prefer my cousin over me, and I can't accept the fact that even my own mother and sister are deceived that I can't even do anything about it!" her face scrunched as she sniffed.

Chanyeol becomes more serious.

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's always Baekhyun, Baekhyun and Baekhyun! Ever since he got abandoned by his problematic family, all of them pampered him as if the damn world revolves around him. And I can't take that! He knew how to get everything he wants just because his life is so fucked up and he feeds off from the sympathy and admiration he gets from everyone." she hissed in anger.

"Stop it." Chanyeol says in a low voice, "It's not right to say that."

"But it's true!"

"He had been through tough times, don't judge him that fast." annoyance filled Chanyeol's chest again.

"I know that..." her face is flushed from crying too much, "That's why I left, Chanyeol. I left so that I could at least give him the benefit of the doubt. But until I came back it's still the same. I get the same treatment. They never see how Baekhyun manipulates everyone with his charm. I hate that... And I don't want that to happen to you. You're the only one I got, love."

Chanyeol gulped because of this. But his face remained serious, he isn't convinced that such thing is true. Even if it comes from his own girlfriend that he has known for years.

"I don't see why Baekhyun would do that, Shein. I know he's not exactly nice but to manipulate your own family is way beyond it."

"Chanyeol?" Shein's eyes slightly widen with his words, she shakes her head in disbelief, "Please, don't even take his side on this." she said in fear.

"I'm not taking sides. But it's wrong to blame him for everything. After all, he has always distanced himself from your family as well, didn't he?" Chanyeol prevents himself from sounding so offended, "Just don't, Shein. Don't say mean things just because of your grudge." he ended up keeping his gaze on the floor because he doesn't want Shein to see his irritated look.

Shein wasn't able to answer immediately. She's obviously taken aback by Chanyeol's words about her cousin, but deep inside, her rage gets worse.

And when she got everything set in her mind, she breaks down into crying again.

"This is it. I-It's happening!" she says hysterically, "Chanyeol, please... if he says something about me, don't believe him. P-Promise me." she sobbed in between words.

Chanyeol's forehead creased. He doesn't have any idea what she's talking about.

"What? What will he say?"

"I just didn't want to make things worse that's why I didn't say anything but..." she kept her gaze on her hands, her fingers rub her palm as if she's nervous.

"But what?" Chanyeol's heart thumps faster for some reason, "Say it. What happened?"

"H-He's been threatening me, ever since I was in Japan. Because I told him that he should at least try talking to his Mom...I didn't think he will take it in a bad way, I was just suggesting. A-And then he went to Japan, he says things about me...He almost hurt me..." her sobs get louder, Chanyeol pants heavily as he rubs her back, "I-I was so scared, Chanyeol..."

"What did he say?" Chanyeol directly stared at her, his face shows his worry.

"He told me...that he'll say things about me once he get back. I think he's planning to tell my sister or anyone that I had an affair there when it's clearly not true. But what bothered me the most was when he said he'll eventually get to you..."

Chanyeol's expression becomes grim.

"Get to me?"

"Yes..." she mumbles, "he said that when he comes back, he'll do anything to ruin us. And I wouldn't want to believe he can but that's Baekhyun! He _can_ do that. He _will_ do that."

_Ruin us..._

_"_He..." Chanyeol finds it hard to say anything, the information is too much he doesn't know what to say. "He never said anything bad about you though...and why didn't you say something about it?" he said.

"Because I trust you! I know he wouldn't fool you that easy and like I said, I don't want to make things worse... But hearing all of this from you right now convinces me that he's doing it good. That's how he plays! He wants to make everything fun for him that's why he's doing it gradually. Didn't you even notice how he slowly tried to get closer to you?"

Chanyeol seems to recall everything clearly. How it all started. How from being strangers to enemies, they ended up fucking each other behind his girlfriend's back. And what's the reason, actually? Of all people, why him?

He never thought about that. And now that he does, there's an unnoticed pang somewhere inside.

"And the dinner last weekend, when you saw us... that's when he told me that he'll tell you what he planned from the very beginning. That's why I was aggravated when you caught us. Up until the end, he can still make it look like I'm the bad one..." she weeps.

Chanyeol's jaw hardened. He didn't notice how his clutch on the sheets gets tighter.

"I-If it was just me, love, then I can deal with it... I'll let him do what he wants. But it's you...I can't let him take you away from me. I love you so much and I can't afford to lose you too. I c-can't..." her voice is hoarse. She buries her face on his chest as he hugs her. She mumbles things that made Chanyeol more convinced.

"Chanyeol, please tell me you believe me..." she muttered weakly against his chest.

Chanyeol bites his lip. His heart continues hurting like hell and he doesn't know exactly why.

"I do..." he says, almost like a whisper, "I believe you."

She breathes heavily, making it sound even more convincing.

"Then please, just stay away from him. Stay away from Baekhyun, love. For the sake of our relationship..."

Chanyeol, with his heart and mind both in chaos right now, didn't even think about doing this too soon. He nods.

Because he thinks, that if it's true, it's well-played. The mess he is right now proves that it's a good game well-played. 

x 

"Baek, aren't you coming with us tonight?" Jieun asked as soon as they signed out. She flashed her familiar pout.

"No, sorry. I'm going somewhere tonight." he smiled a little and he caught Heechul's meaningful glance.

"Where?" Jieun pouts more, she glares when he only shrugged, "You're being extra weird recently. And you're not hanging out with us that much anymore...you've changed!" she joked but Baekhyun threw her a confused look.

"I did?" Baekhyun asked in awe.

"Yes! But in a good way though, you look so..." she taps her finger on her lips, "I don't know...glowy? It's like you're a flower in bloom!" she wiggles her brows making Baekhyun laugh, "And oh, your ass looks a lot more plump, nice!" she said, blatantly checking out his bum. Heechul rolled his eyes but Baekhyun laughed even harder.

"Jieun, have you heard of 'dicks before chicks'? You're gross." Heechul snapped but Jieun just stuck her tongue out. When she walked ahead of them, Heechul threw a glance at Baekhyun, who's still laughing.

"Stop being so cheesy, you're smiling way too much, bitch." he teasingly rolled his eyes before leaving. Baekhyun waved them goodbye before staring back at his phone. His smile is still the same.

Baekhyun didn't even look at his own steps as he partly walked and ran to his apartment. He cussed under his breath when he got stuck in traffic for about an hour. And now he's walking fast to his door, his chest thumping in a familiar pace.

He opens the door of his place, the lights aren't on but the lamp gives a dim light around the room. He breathes heavily because of the exhaustion from walking that fast but when his gaze catches a familiar figure, his lazy grin comes back.

"Hiya there."

Chanyeol faces him, his eyes instantly staring at his smiling face. He noticed the taller's odd expression but he shrugs it off when Chanyeol steps towards him.

"Hey," Chanyeol gulped.

Baekhyun smiles sheepishly as he looks over the paper bag on the table, "I see... you bought some ice cream?"

Chanyeol forces a smile when he nods, and Baekhyun scans his same odd face. But he thinks that he must simply be tired.

Baekhyun avoids the anticipation inside him to be shown but he seems to fail when it's all obvious in his voice.

"I got some DVDs here, too..." Baekhyun searches for them inside his bag, his face scrunching a bit, "there's a lot of genre here...oh, I like this one―" Baekhyun was cut off when he felt Chanyeol standing close in front of him. His gaze looks up from his bag to his face. He sees Chanyeol's serious face looking straight at him. Baekhyun looks back at him, a bit confused.

"Are we gonna watch that now, or?" Chanyeol asks, not even glancing down to his bag.

Baekhyun gulps, when he heard something beneath the question, he knows what will happen.

But now? Really?

"Well..." Baekhyun blinked.

Chanyeol even takes a step forward, making them intensely close to each other that he could feel the taller's breath. But he can't seem to last looking at his eyes.

"Later sounds good too..." he said without a choice.

Chanyeol leans down and cups his face. He tilts his head up to meet his lips. His tongue expertly moves inside Baekhyun's mouth, completely taking over his sanity. His kiss becomes rougher, sooner than expected. Baekhyun is used to them doing it without hurry, but now everything seems so fast, as if it's rushed and hurried. When Chanyeol pulls away, he watches him in awe as he quickly takes off his shirt, pulling Baekhyun's bag and top away from him in just a matter of seconds. Baekhyun is puzzled. But when his bottom is cupped and placed over the table, he wasn't able to complain. He grunts in every grasp of Chanyeol's hands,he can feel them digging into his skin. He suppressed his pained groans but when Chanyeol bends him over and his large hands grasp his waist like a rope, he couldn't help yelping.

"Y-Yeol, wait..." he grunts under his breath, flinching with his tight grasps, "It hurts...don't hold me like that..."

Chanyeol moans against his back, as if he's deaf to hear him out. His kisses on Baekhyun's bare back are equally rough, biting and sucking them like he's starving for it.

"Yeol, it hurts!" his yelp mixed with his moan when Chanyeol continuously touches him harder, his lips doing its job on his back while his other hand rubs his cock under him to make sure he's in control.

"Do you want to stop?" Chanyeol asked instead of saying sorry for it. His hand against Baekhyun's shaft makes it harder for the smaller to answer, shaking his head in defeat.

Baekhyun ends up suppressing his painful yelps whenever Chanyeol goes harsher. He doesn't know what his problem is or what he's thinking. He ends up shutting his eyes the whole time too, Chanyeol's serious and intimidating stare makes it even harder for him to look longer at those dark orbs. Baekhyun is confused. But he doesn't say anything.

After fucking over the table, they ended up finishing on the couch. Baekhyun's body aches so much but what bothers him the most is the painful silence afterwards. They're lying down beside each other but they seem so distant, Chanyeol's arm that was usually wrapped around him, is now placed properly on his sides. Baekhyun looks at this then to Chanyeol's face, who's staring directly at the ceiling.

"Does Shein know you left?" he asked, just to break the silence. But Chanyeol surprisingly doesn't answer immediately, he pursed his lips before shaking his head.

"It doesn't matter."

Baekhyun's heart beats faster. Why does he feel like something's about to happen?

"Is there any problem?" he tilted his head up to look at Chanyeol. The taller sits up and puts on his boxers, his messy hair partly covers his face so he combs it up with his hand. Baekhyun watches him, denying the fact that he thinks he finally knows what's gonna happen.

Baekhyun sits up too, they sit inches away from each other. Chanyeol blankly stares at the floor while Baekhyun watches him.

"Let's stop this."

His voice doesn't seem to enter Baekhyun's mind. He's too frozen to even comprehend things.

"What?"

"Let's stop this. Everything between us."

Baekhyun keeps himself from gulping, his eyes stay focused on Chanyeol's avoidant ones. He expected this to come. He should be cool with it but right now, he feels like he needed some kind of an explanation.

"Can I at least ask why?" he kept his voice cool and casual.

Chanyeol stares at him this time, he looks mad but his eyes look hurt.

"Do you really need to ask that?"

"Well I have no idea why, so maybe I do need to ask. Now can you just answer?" Baekhyun tried to smile but he's pretty sure it looked so forced.

Chanyeol clenches his jaw.

"I know how much you hate your cousin, Baek. But do you really need to go this far? Do you really need to _ruin _everything just to prove that you're way above her?" Baekhyun is struck by his words.

"What are you talking about, Yeol..." Baekhyun forced a chuckle but his eyes are filled with confusion.

"Do you think that's acceptable? I know you've been through hard times and I understand that. But this one's different, Baekhyun. Why the hell did you have to threaten Shein like that? Why would you try to ruin everything between us? Is that something that makes you satisfied?" Chanyeol can't help blurting out, his emotions are flowing inside his chest that he needs to let it out.

Baekhyun's forehead creased.

"What?" he repeats, wanting to make sure that he hears it right, "I did what?"

Chanyeol chuckles sarcastically. He becomes even more pissed seeing Baekhyun playing like a fool.

"You threatened her, didn't you? When you went to Japan to meet her, that's what happened? And up until now that she's back, you're still doing it!" his voice raises but Baekhyun doesn't even budge, "Tell me, the both of us ending up in this setup, is this a part of your plan? To make me cheat on Shein and die in guilt? God, Baek!

"Please do me a favor, stop this and grow up! You cannot do this to your own cousin, Baekhyun." he grabbed his shirt and harshly wore it. Baekhyun remained staring at him. He couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Shein told you that I've been threatening her and that I'm trying to ruin your relationship? Is that it?" he can't hide the disbelief in his voice, "And you believed her?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

This pulled the trigger. Baekhyun couldn't believe that he expected Chanyeol to take his side. Who is he fooling?

Chanyeol's cold eyes bore at him again.

"What? Isn't it true?" he hissed.

_No. _Baekhyun wants to answer._ It's not true. She's the one who threatened me, she's the one who manipulates us. I'm not lying, Yeol._

Baekhyun's usual feisty self seems to be gone. He wants to say a lot. He wants to say everything on the tip of his tongue. But the lump in his throat makes it hard for him to speak. It hurts him that whatever he might say, Chanyeol has obviously made up his mind about him. And who is he to change that?

His heart hurts. A lot.

Baekhyun slowly shakes his head, without uttering a word. Chanyeol stares directly at his eyes, his gaze filled with disappointment.

"I thought I finally know you. I thought you were different, Baek." he said, blinded by his anger. He just realized what he said when he saw how Baekhyun's eyes change.

_No, Chanyeol. I thought you were the one who's different._

He needed to clutch his chest behind his folded legs because of something shattering inside. Baekhyun blinked a few times to keep his eyes dry. He isn't crying. Not for this.

"Okay, if that's what you want to hear, then fine. I enjoy fooling all of you." Baekhyun says, sounding so casual as he keeps his voice from breaking, "Now can you leave? Since the game is over, go home now."

Chanyeol looks at him seriously, and this time he could see Baekhyun. The one he saw the first time they met. The Baekhyun people knew about. The one with the tall and tough walls around him. He takes a deep breath before forcing a smile at him.

Chanyeol doesn't want everything to end like this, but it's done. It's over.

He stood up while Baekhyun's eyes remained staring blankly on the position where he sat. Chanyeol collects his courage before looking back.

"I understand what you feel, Baekhyun. And despite all of that, I'm willing to just forgive and forget everything."

Baekhyun chuckles sarcastically.

"Well that's too bad because I'm not sorry." Baekhyun grins, his grip on the couch tightens, "Go now, Chanyeol. And oh, thanks for the goodbye sex."

Chanyeol dismisses Baekhyun's mocking remarks when he remains facing him.

"Just answer me one last time, Baekhyun." he tried to keep his voice clear.

"Leave."

Chanyeol shakes his head in defiance.

"Are you in love with me?"

"No." Baekhyun answered in an instant, keeping his stoic face.

Chanyeol's heart raced. Because as always, despite of all the denials, he feels the truth.

"You said that night...that you're falling. I heard it. You said it clearly." Chanyeol panted heavily as he anticipated. Baekhyun didn't even move a bit.

And even if it's crazy, it's like a string of hope for him.

"No." Baekhyun's voice is hard, "I didn't. I don't remember saying such thing." Baekhyun coldly said but his eyes say otherwise. And that was the last image stored inside Chanyeol's mind before he walked out of the door.

_Quits._

That was the last time those eyes ever looked at him.


	18. 17-Spill It All

"Kindly explain this to me."

Baekhyun looks at the paper flashed in front of him. The manager throws him a stern and authoritative look but he's too cold to even get intimidated. He clicks his tongue as he stares at it with completely no interest.

"I can't read the words, they're too small." he said, leaning coolly on his swivel chair.

"This complaint reached the higher authorities. Why did you do that to Mr Lin?"

Baekhyun just shrugged, he didn't even bother looking at the manager, who's fuming in irritation right now.

Chanyeol, on the other side of the cubicle of his own, finds himself distracted from his work because of the conversation happening near him. He listens intently.

"Did you know that he's a big investor, Baekhyun? And he's threatening to pull out from the contract because of what you did! Do you really want them to fire you?"

"He deserve it." he simply responded.

"Baek, I will not always tolerate you. You know that! Now, go ahead and release a statement of apology―"

"He fucking harassed me and I'll be the one to apologize?" Chanyeol almost shivers with the tone of his voice, as well as the people around. Even without seeing his face, he can still feel the rage in his voice. "You know I could've killed that man, but I didn't. So fire me or file a fucking case for all I care. I'll still spit on that asshole's grave once I've put him in there."

The manager wasn't able to answer. She didn't expect Baekhyun to say this. The people around them who heard it seemed to fall into silence as well.

"Fine. I will act upon this and help you because you're an efficient employee." she finally says in a low voice, "But please, Baek. Not all things has to end this way. Control your temper." she said before walking away.

Chanyeol almost jumps when someone shifts beside the wall he's leaning, panicking as he goes back to his work as if Baekhyun will see him eavesdropping. He tries to focus on his work but his thoughts clouded his mind. He badly wants to glance and take a look at the person who's one thin wall away from him. _Just one quick look. _He gulps as he slowly tilts his head.

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

He didn't even dare continuing to look when he heard Baekhyun snapped at someone. He gets it. He's mad.

He's mad at everyone, especially him.

x

Baekhyun has been acting invisible for the past few weeks. Yes, acting. Because the fact that he's Byun Baekhyun is enough for the people around him to watch whatever he does, wherever he goes. So he isn't really invisible because everybody gives a fuck about him and he hates it. Maybe before he enjoyed such kind of attention but now he just wants to be on his own.

Everybody's been buzzing around why Baekhyun seems to lose his usual socialite diva self. His black hair has its new red highlights, making his soft yet edgy look stand out. His dark eyeliner makes him even more attractive. But he isn't talking to anyone like he usually does. He comes to work on time, do all the shit he has to do then leave without even anyone noticing. People have a lot to say about this.

_I heard he stole his friend's boyfriend._

_They said someone saw him hanging out with rich old men._

_Maybe he got kicked out of his place so he's living on the streets._

Baekhyun isn't dumb. He hears all of this. But he's just too tired to even give a damn about the issues about him. He's tired to deal with them when he can't even deal with his own life. Because none of them really knows the truth. When did someone even care to know the truth about him?

Once, but he ended up being screwed as well.

Baekhyun has learned his lesson the hard way. Trusting someone fucked him up, big time. He should've kept everything to himself. And every night, his nightmares get worse. Something worse than his spineless mother.

Sometimes he sees his cousin, or Chanyeol, looking wicked as if he's a pathetic laughing stock. And there he finds himself back to his old habits, staying up all night getting drunk or high.

Because he's afraid of falling asleep.

"Baekhyun." Heechul approaches, trying to keep himself calm, "When will you talk to us? Or at least stop dismissing our existence?"

Baekhyun sighs. Heechul once again found a way to corner him and talk to him alone. He tries to walk away without even giving him a quick look but Heechul blocks his way, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Heechul, please." Baekhyun said with finality.

"No." Heechul doesn't budge, trying to catch his eyes, "If this is about Chanyeol then don't pull us into this. You know Jieun doesn't know anything and now that she sees you being like this, it makes her even more confused!"

Baekhyun doesn't respond, as if he's just waiting for Heechul to get tired of nagging him and finally leave him alone.

"Haven't I told you, Baek? I told you not to expect. You can't expect Chanyeol to take your side in the end because he's owned by someone else! Remember when I told you that you might lose your own game?"

"Stop." he coldly says, "You don't know anything."

"Exactly! Because you never tried telling me." Heechul pauses when disappointment fills him again, "After all these years, Baekhyun. When will you learn to trust me? Us? We're your friends..."

The way his voice turned into a whisper gave Baekhyun a slight pang in his chest. But his expression remains hard, keeping his gaze on the floor to keep himself from the possibility of breaking down if he ever looks directly at his friend.

"You know I don't trust anyone but myself." he saw how Heechul's expression changed. He knows that he's hurting him. By doing this, by being like this. Heechul has always been there for him and he knows that he can trust him with his life. But what happened recently made him realize that in the end, it's just himself.

That someone could genuinely act like they care for you. But in the end, you're the same old shit they saw when they first met you. That's just how it is.

"Do you know what people say behind your back? That you've been whoring around and stealing someone's boyfriend? That's not even the worst issues!"

"And you think they're true?"

Heechul takes a deep breath.

"Baekhyun, that's why I want you to talk to me—"

"Nevermind, it doesn't matter." Baekhyun smiles, "This is the exact reason why I don't trust anyone."

Heechul's mouth flew open. He wants to say a lot but Baekhyun's tone implies something that made him speechless.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." he forces a grin, gritting his teeth as he felt Heechul's look of sympathy lingering on him, "I just...want to be alone. That's all."

He doesn't even look back when Heechul calls his name, dissembling with another lie as he walks away.

"Mr. Byun..." a female intern approaches him. She almost hesitates when she saw his unreadable expression but soon realized that she has to do her job, "Uhm, Ms. Kim wants to talk to you, she's in the conference office right now." Baekhyun only nods then she quickly walks away.

Still hung up with the conversation he had, Baekhyun absentmindedly opens the door to the room, unable to notice the two people inside.

"Mr Byun, you're here." she smiled but her voice is stern. Before Baekhyun could even greet back, he sees Chanyeol standing beside her, equally astounded. Chanyeol almost caught his eyes but he's quick enough to focus his gaze on the woman alone, dismissing the taller like a total stranger.

"Hearing about your latest controversy, I must say I'm impressed." her smile didn't change as she eyed him from head to toe.

"Are you also going to ask me to apologize?" as much as Baekhyun doesn't want to sound rude or blunt because she's obviously the boss, he's overall getting more pissed with everything. Not to mention the unwanted presence around him.

She chuckles.

"Of course not, it's done." she shrugs, "Anyways, I called both of you here because we are soon going to start the project in partnership with Lotte and Miss Im couldn't go so..."

"What am I supposed to do, Ma'am?" Chanyeol asked.

"You need to go to Jamsil. The both of you." she said. Baekhyun wants to walk straight out of this room right now. To hell he will go anywhere with Chanyeol. And with just the two of them?

Silence takes over them for a few seconds, both thinking of ways to escape this huge nightmare.

"I can just go alone."

"I'll do it by myself, Ma'am."

Both of them sighed heavily when they even responded in unison. The director almost had her jaw dropped in awe. Her gaze moved between the both of them.

"Oh...well you need to check the area for promotions and it's needed as soon as possible." she responds, looking puzzled as ever, "You don't really like each other, do you?" she joked but her grin soon fades off when the two didn't even answer or showed a bit of amusement.

"Uhm okay.. this is awkward..." she mutters under her breath, "I need the both of you. Not one, but the two of you there because someone's going to talk to the staff and director. Having it done by a single person will make the progress slower. So whatever it is, between the both of you, remember that this is work and personal things shouldn't be―"

"Okay, sure. I got it. Copy. Noted." Baekhyun cut her off, not wanting to hear whatever it is that can trigger all his raging emotions inside.

Chanyeol stays silent. Honestly, he doesn't have any problem with this if he was to be asked. Baekhyun is the only one being so problematic about this and that's what annoys him. He thinks that he moved on because everything's in the past now, and so should Baekhyun.

Chanyeol believes, that yes, he moved on.

The thought of using the company car actually thrilled him a bit. At least he can try to talk to Baekhyun about things, since he's obviously not the same since that night happened. Chanyeol wants to clear things up because even after what he's done, Chanyeol doesn't want everything to change, at least for Baekhyun.

But all the words he's been rehearsing inside his head were instantly put into waste when Baekhyun sticks his earplugs in his ears, positioning himself at the far corner with his full attention on the window.

Chanyeol sighed. He decided to just let it go for now. Baekhyun isn't in the mood to talk about it, obviously.

The long ride comprises of Baekhyun steadily looking at the window while he listens to some loud music and Chanyeol constantly glancing over where he is every now and then. Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun's easily bored, he clearly remembers how he'd talk nonstop when Chanyeol's driving so that both of them are kept awake and entertained.

And now he watches how Baekhyun's eyelids slowly get heavier, and he's right. The smaller is leaning his head now on the window, completely fallen asleep. With this, Chanyeol got a better chance to bluntly look at his face. And something in him twinge when he sees how Baekhyun's face looks like he's burdened even in his sleep. Something inside him still yearns for that soft and peaceful face he once woke up to every morning.

Chanyeol had to look away, gulping as he turns his gaze on the window beside him. _Stop, _he says in his mind, _stop thinking about him. You need to stay away._

The gloomy weather seems to go with the moment. The light rain falls as they drive to Jamsil, with the fog covering the window he looks at.

It's cold.

Still in deep thoughts, Chanyeol almost didn't notice the car stopping in front of their destination. He glances at Baekhyun and sees that the smaller is still asleep, head dangling in front with what looked like a really uncomfortable position. The driver looks at him, as if asking why the hell he isn't waking up the other yet. He lifts his hand to Baekhyun's direction, lightly nudging his arm to wake him up.

Baekhyun shifted, but his eyes stayed close. Chanyeol felt the urge to nudge him harder.

"Baekhyun..." his deep voice made Baekhyun open his eyes in an instant. And as if through his instinct, he flinches and moves farther when he saw Chanyeol's face.

He looks at the window beside him and when he sees that they reached the place, he quickly hops off the car, rubbing his eyes as he leaves Chanyeol inside it.

Chanyeol can't even help noticing the fact that Baekhyun flinches with his simple touch, as if completely disgusted by his mere existence. He soon gets out of the car to follow.

They walk inside the park. Baekhyun walks ahead while he follows meters behind. There's still a lot of people inside the indoor park despite being a weekday. Children run around and couples line up for the rides. He sees Baekhyun talking to the security, probably asking where the main office is. He follows him silently when he walks to the right.

They stop in front of a door.

"Who's gonna talk to him?" Chanyeol is startled when he heard Baekhyun talk out of the blue. He looks at him but Baekhyun's eyes remained on the door in front.

"Go ahead," Chanyeol answers, "I'll be taking photos of the areas." Baekhyun didn't spare him a glance as he enters the office. Chanyeol walks his way to the areas he needs to document, he puts out his phone from his pocket and starts to snap some photos.

Walking around, he sees the giant Lotte mascots dancing to entertain little kids in their uniforms. The kids look like they're from public preschool with their yellow shirts and jogging pants. Chanyeol smiles. He wants to check it out but decided to just focus on what he needs to do.

After moving from one spot to another, Chanyeol was able to take a lot of good photos. He checks his watch and realizes that it has been almost 30 minutes since he left Baekhyun to talk with the director. He's contemplating whether he'll go back to check on him or just wait right where he is. He decides to just let Baekhyun finish, he can just look for him around.

He walks back to the area where he saw the little kids. They're still there, dancing along with the Lotte mascots. He can't help but take photos of their candid smiles, smiling on his own because of their contagious happiness.

He notices a woman looking at him. She smiles a little when he looks back. Chanyeol smiles sheepishly because of being noticed for taking photos. She looks familiar but Chanyeol doesn't really recognize where he saw her before.

"Taking photos?" her diction sounded very prim, making him bow when she walked nearer.

"Uhm, yes. It's for documentary." he politely responds, subtly noticing her look, "Are they your students?" Chanyeol asked. He knows he actually sounds dumb because first of all, she doesn't look like a teacher, she's middle-aged and her clothes are...let's say, quite costly. Overall, she looks sophisticated.

Like he predicted, the woman laughs because of this.

"No...no, that girl..." she gracefully points another woman from their opposite side, wearing a uniform, looking more like a teacher, "That's their teacher. I'm just the one who funded their trip here, so that these little children could enjoy for a while." her lips almost shaped like a rectangle with her smile.

"Wow, you treated them all here?" Chanyeol can't help sounding so amused. The woman nods.

"My foundation has been doing this every year, treat less fortunate children into happy places." she smiled.

Chanyeol's mouth opens in awe as he continues to nod. He silently admires the woman's generosity, recalling his Mom's memories for a moment.

"You're very kind, Ma'am." he praises, "Your children must've been so lucky."

He doesn't notice how the woman's expression changed from the sudden mention. Chanyeol looks at her when she fell silent, but she smiles again with a forced one.

"I guess sharing happiness is your foundation's main agenda. I love happy people too." he added, taking more pictures.

"Not really," she muttered.

Chanyeol observes her eyes, getting more and more known to him.

"More like, making up with my mistakes...that's the real agenda." she glances back to the kids as she gulps, "I feel the need to make other people feel fortunate because I didn't do it with the one who needed it the most."

Chanyeol opens his mouth to ask.

"Chanyeol." he turned to his back and sees Baekhyun behind him. He's finally done and they're going back to the office.

Baekhyun's cold expression shifts into something unreadable when his eyes linger on the woman beside Chanyeol. The taller wasn't able to continue what he's about to ask when he saw how Baekhyun obviously froze on his spot.

The woman's expression equally reflects Baekhyun's, although happiness can be seen in her. As if she's been waiting for this moment for ages. She suddenly cries, shaking while her hands cover her mouth.

"Baekhyun-ah..."

Baekhyun had his breath hitched. As much as he wants to look cold and tough, his glistening eyes obviously tell that he's soon to break down.

And there, it made all sense. Chanyeol knew.

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol calls loudly when Baekhyun starts running away as fast as he could.

He pants heavily, making sure he keeps track of the direction where Baekhyun went. Then he looks at the woman in front of him, who turns out to be Mrs Byun all this time. Her eyes are swollen and the teacher started running to her. The people also notice her now.

Chanyeol is torn between running after him but he doesn't want to leave the woman like this. She holds his hand with her eyes full of pain and hope.

"G-Go...follow him. Don't leave him alone. Go ahead..." her grip in his hand tightened as the staffs gathered around her. Chanyeol nodded, his heart slightly twisting with her words. He ran away to try to spot Baekhyun around.

He saw Baekhyun's back on the far distance, still running like he wants to get out of this place so bad.

"Baekhyun!" he calls, keeping with the smaller's pace with his long legs. He was able to shorten the distance between them, "Stop! Please..." he muttered, voice shaking in exhaustion.

_Stop running away._

"Ah!" Baekhyun yelped in pain when his foot missed a step, making it twist badly. He fell, knees first.

Chanyeol runs faster when he saw Baekhyun's fall. His eyes widen while he looks at how Baekhyun's eyes shut in pain.

Baekhyun tries to stand up but he fails, almost falling again if it wasn't for Chanyeol's arms quickly holding him. He had no choice but to let the taller lift him up so he could stand properly. When he finally could stand on his own, he pushes Chanyeol's arm away from him. He struggles to walk away but Chanyeol continues to hold him.

"S-Stop." Baekhyun weakly tries to get off from his touch, his face scrunching in pain, "I said get the fuck off of me!" his voice broke as he harshly shook Chanyeol's hand away from his arms.

"You can't walk Baekhyun! Do you expect me to stand here or leave you?!" his deep voice startled the people around them.

"Yes! Even if I sprain my fucking ankle or die on this spot, I don't want you anywhere near me." his eyes remain on his painful foot, not even daring to stare back on Chanyeol's fuming gaze. "Go away!"

Chanyeol's grip on his arms becomes tighter, from simply guiding him to stand, he forces the smaller to face him. "You know what? You are always like this, Baekhyun! You act like you're all tough and strong! When somebody offers help, you spit on their faces that you don't need them! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Have you let your pride completely eat yourself up?"

Baekhyun's jaw hardens but he grins sarcastically.

"What? Acting again like you have the right to lecture me about things just because we had sex for a couple of times? Is that it?"

"Oh, you're actually acknowledging us now, aren't you?" Chanyeol snaps back, "Well, guess what. The moment we had sex is the moment you let me enter your life so that gives me the right to say the truth, Baek!"

"Please..." Baekhyun chuckles, still forcing a grin as he grits his teeth.

"Didn't you just leave my life a few weeks ago, Chanyeol?" he asked, the other wasn't able to answer.

Baekhyun lets his pain inside come out this moment.

"I almost..." he gulps to keep his voice from breaking, "gave everything and I ended up being treated like shit..." Baekhyun tried preventing himself from saying things like this but all his emotions made him do it.

Chanyeol stares at him. Those eyes that can't even look at him up until this moment.

"What does that mean?"

Baekhyun continues to eye his side.

"It means you're not the kind of person I would want to trust..." he says, "again." he said before completely walking away. This time Chanyeol doesn't follow.

_If he wants to be this difficult then let him be._

He's just trying to convince himself that Baekhyun's acting as if he's the one deceived here. He should not get bothered.

But he thought that after stopping everything between Baekhyun and him, the agonizing guilt will finally go away. But it just got worse.

He thought he could finally sleep in peace, with the girl he loves beside him, with him doing everything right. But every night he's wide awake, thinking about what went wrong.

Why?

Still feeling down about the fact that he went back by the company car alone, Chanyeol's face is in complete frown when he threw his coat on the sofa of his house. It's been a tough day, and to think that he still has to go to their gig tonight makes him want to sulk.

He took a few minutes sitting on the couch because of exhaustion and stress. When he checked the time, he decided to get ready for the gig. He headed upstairs to change his clothes.

"—going back there yet so don't call me!" he stopped in front of the door when he heard Shein's hasty tone from the inside.

Her voice gets more inaudible so Chanyeol leans forward to press his ear against the door.

"Hyuk, please. I thought you understood..."

Chanyeol's forehead creased, he doesn't know who's she talking to.

He tries to listen more but her words are already muffled, making it hard for him to make sense out of it. When he heard that she's no longer talking, he opens the door and walks inside. Shein jumped in surprise, her face has a trace of terror on it.

"Love!" she almost stutters, "how long have you been there?" she tried to keep her cool.

Chanyeol shrugged, trying to avoid making her cautious.

"I just got here, why?" he answered while unbuttoning his polo. He took a quick glance at his girlfriend who's trying to flash her smile again.

"Nothing." she stands up and gives him a quick peck on the lips, "You goin' out tonight?"

Chanyeol nods.

"We got a gig at Myeongdong, the owner specifically asked us." he talks as he gets himself into a more casual shirt.

He noticed how her smile comes a little forced by what she heard. He knew this.

"Okay." she nods, "can I come?"

Chanyeol immediately shakes his head. Not this time.

"Just stay here, love. You'll just get bored."

"Are kidding? Why would I get bored watching you? A lot of people anticipate your gigs and I'm not an exception!" she chuckled. Chanyeol smiled but he still won't buy it.

"But I can't just leave you alone there. I won't be able to accompany you when I perform."

"We're also going out tonight! I can just tell the girls to go there instead!" she hugs him, tilting her head up to look at him, "Pleeeeease? I'll be okay!" her eyes crinkled.

Chanyeol looks at her face, he sighs in defeat. He agrees even though he has a feeling this isn't gonna turn out well.

He could hear the girls behind him giggling as soon as they enter the bistro. He became an instant chauffeur, fetching Shein's friends and driving them here. He stayed silent the whole ride, smiling and nodding if he needed to. But he just didn't feel like talking to them too much.

"Hey, Chanyeol!" a girl walks to him, "They're in the backstage now, if you're wondering." he didn't notice how Shein and her friends fell silent, exchanging looks.

"Hi Sooyoung." he finally smiles, "nice seeing you again!"

Sooyoung smiles broadly. Her gaze moves from Chanyeol to the girls with him, as if finding someone.

"And oh, before I forget..." he starts off, "this is my girlfriend, Shein. And these are her friends. They'll be watching tonight." Sooyoung smiled at them but Shein didn't smile back.

"I'll get them a table then!" Sooyoung offers, "by the way, where's Baekhyun? I haven't seen him yet. Isn't he watching?"

Shein's face completely turned sour. Chanyeol didn't need to look at her to know this. Every mention of Baekhyun's name fires the tension.

Chanyeol doesn't know how to tell her that Baekhyun will never watch them again.

"Oh I don't really know—"

"Where's the table?" Shein cuts him off, getting rude as she gets pissed.

"Ah... I'll check right there." she awkwardly says, noticing her sudden change of mood, "I can lead them there, Chanyeol. Kris might be waiting for you."

He excused himself for a while before heading to the backstage where his bandmates are.

"Chanyeol!" Kris calls for his attention, they are starting to set up the instruments. "where's Sehun?"

He looks around, and now that he noticed, the younger isn't here yet.

"I thought he's here." Chanyeol said, thinking about the fact that Sehun doesn't even talk to him yet.

"We thought he's with you!" Kris throws his palm over his forehead, "we're performing in 5 minutes!" Kris exclaimed, going frantic again.

"Geez, Kris calm down." Lay remains cool about it, "Maybe the kid got stuck in the traffic or he needed to poop. He's just late but he's coming."

Luhan crosses his arms over his chest while he stays at the corner.

"He's always early though..." he muttered seriously.

They tried to contact him but he didn't answer. Kris is starting the mic test when Sehun comes running towards the stage. His hair is disheveled as he hurriedly straightens his shirt.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Kris whispered when they gathered together.

"Sorry...I just needed to fix things." Sehun said, still panting. Chanyeol just stared at him, observing.

"You know we're performing tonight, Sehun." Luhan couldn't hide the irritation in his voice.

"Loosen up! Maybe the kid is trying to get a girlfriend. Just let him be!"

Chanyeol watches Sehun even until they stand on their respective positions. Sehun seems unbothered about it, keeping his head down the whole time.

"We hope you enjoy tonight!" Kris said that made the crowd roar before the music starts playing.

They played 2 sets of songs tonight. First one being the slower jams while the last are more upbeat. For the second set, people started standing up from their seat to go to the dance floor, jamming and dancing to the beat. Chanyeol started jumping with his guitar on his arms, beads of sweat streaming down his neck.

"Thank you so much! We hope you had fun!" Kris claps after finishing the last song, "Enjoy the rest of the night." he wrapped up as the people shout and applaud. Usually, they all go backstage because Kris has to say important things before they could finally leave, but Sehun doesn't even wait for this. He steps out of the stage as soon as he stood up from the drummer's seat.

"Sehun!" Kris calls, "why are you such in a hurry? You're late and now you're leaving that fast?" Kris seemed a bit calmer but he's still pissed with Sehun's weird actions.

"Hyung, I'm sorry! But I really need to go, my friend's waiting for me―"

"Oh shit! You actually brought someone? Who is it?"

Sehun caught Chanyeol's eyes directed at him. They stared at each other for a few seconds before he shakes his head.

"I need to go, Hyung. Just text me―"

_"They're fighting!"_

_"Stop them!"_

All of them immediately turn to the commotion at the center of the dance floor. They could hear screams from girls and from some of the people watching. The familiarity of the voice made Chanyeol nervous. He walks nearer, bumping onto different people just to get there. His eyes widen when he confirms it.

"Shein!" he runs between the two girls fighting, trying to pull his outraged girlfriend away from her enemy. "Shein! Stop it please!"

"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?" she asks through gritted teeth, trying to get away from Chanyeol's hold, "Just who the fuck do you think you are to even lay a finger on me?!"

Chanyeol is still in shock, looking at Jieun on the opposite side of them, looking exactly like the mess his girlfriend is.

"I don't need to introduce myself to kill witches like you." unlike Shein, no one has enough guts to hold Jieun back so she can freely push anyone who'll block her way, "You're a pretentious bitch and I'll give you what you deserve, you hear me? Huh? Come here!" she stepped forward to grab Shein's hair so Chanyeol had to cover himself between them. He flinches in pain when both their hands hit his face for a few times.

"JI EUN!" Baekhyun suddenly came from the crowd, running to his friend to pull her away. She continues to struggle but loosens up a bit when she figures out that it's Baekhyun holding her. She pants heavily, her eyes are bloodshot red.

Chanyeol remains staring in shock. He doesn't have any idea what's going on.

"Jieun, please..." Baekhyun tries to calm his friend down, pleading desperately, "don't do this. This is why I didn't want to tell you, God!"

"Baek s-she manipulates everyone! She's the main reason why you're suffering and you're letting her do it?" she shakes her head, holding tight on Baekhyun's hand, "She's evil, Baek! She's the worst!"

Before Chanyeol could even react, Shein finds the opportunity to escape from his hold, stepping towards her cousin to finish the fight she couldn't afford to lose.

She grabs Jieun's hair again, pinning it down hard to make her shout in pain. Before Chanyeol could even move, Shein falls hard on his feet, ass first. The people shrieked because of the thumping sound, guaranteed that it's a lot painful than it looks.

"Shein!"

He kneels to lift her up and make her stand. She cries in pain, sobbing harder that made Chanyeol rouse in anger.

"Not my friends, Shein." Baekhyun looks at them in pure coldness, "Not my friends."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Chanyeol shouted in anger.

"If you kept your perfect girlfriend inside your home and teach her some manners then she wouldn't have to felt that."

Baekhyun faces Jieun again, making sure she's fine and calmed so they can finally leave.

"C-Chanyeol..." Shein sobs, "my body hurts...I can't walk..."

"Baekhyun."

Baekhyun looks at him. He feels his heart skipping a beat when he saw his eyes after a long time.

"Stop this. What do you really want?"

Baekhyun's jaw almost drops with his question. It's like deja vu all over again.

Chanyeol looks at Jieun beside him, "Jieun? What is it? What are you so mad about?" he asked. He sees Jieun's face becoming tougher as she gulps. Chanyeol just wants to know how everything turned out to be this bad.

"Chanyeol, you know whatever they'll say is pure bullshit!" Shein gets more frantic, not letting them answer, "Listen, Baekhyun and that war freak friend of yours. I'll make sure you pay for this! If you think you won tonight then don't get your hopes up..." she clenches her jaw as her eyes linger longer on her cousin, "Especially you, Baekhyun."

This time, Baekhyun wasn't able to control himself. He takes a step forward to make his words clearer, his fists tightly closed.

"What? You're threatening me again? Wait, isn't that my job? Haven't you told Chanyeol that I was the one threatening you?" he smiled sarcastically, but his anger is visible.

Chanyeol is so confused. He doesn't know what to believe anymore.

"Since you're provoking me so much, why don't I just spill it all? Right here, right now." Baekhyun's tone surprisingly sent shiver down to his spine, "You love attention so much, right? Then I'll just spill _your _biggest secrets here. Are you ready, Shein? Where do you want to start? Oh wait, are _you _ready, Chanyeol?"

He feels Shein becoming stiff in his arms. Chanyeol creased his brows. Whatever it is, he's dying to know. He wants answers.

"What? Answer me!"

"Baekhyun!"

Baekhyun's heavy breathing makes his chest heave. His intense gaze at the both of them doesn't even make him blink. Sehun walks in front of his face to catch his gaze.

"Baek, please...It's not worth it." he whispers in concern. He rubs both of Baekhyun's shoulders to calm him down.

Chanyeol can't hear what they're saying but seeing Sehun touch Baekhyun like that especially how Baekhyun's eyes turned softer with his words woke something inside him up. And he's not liking it. Not when they're in this kind of situation.

Baekhyun nods with whatever Sehun said, his eyes lingering on them for the last time, specifically on Chanyeol's.

"Do me a favor and stay away from us." he coldly says, "the both of you." his gaze didn't leave Chanyeol's eyes as he uttered every word. And every word is like a gash inside Chanyeol's chest. It's hard to breathe. Right then, he grabs Jieun's arm to pull her away from that place.

Sehun looks at Chanyeol too. But apart from the anger he expected, Sehun's eyes scream sympathy.

If it's for him, he doesn't know.


	19. 18-Not Fair

_"Baek."_

_Baekhyun instantly turned around to see the person who called him sternly. His face stayed blank but the way he gulped made it certain that he's shocked._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"Why didn't you tell me, Baekhyun?" Jieun started sobbing as her voice raised, "Why didn't you tell me about everything?! About you and Chanyeol? All this time you've been hiding this from me! All this time I've been thinking that maybe we did something wrong for you to be like that!" she was obviously tipsy but her anger made her words sound sober._

_"It's because it's not important."_

_"How is it not important?!" they were starting to gain attention from the people around them but Jieun continued to talk hysterically, "Just say that you thought I wouldn't know! I'm―" her voice broke so she gulped before continuing. Her eyes pooled with tears, "That's because...y-you think I'm stupid, don't you? Among all of your friends, I'm the less serious... I'm the bimbo type. I knew. I know it." she smiled but her voice was like crushing into pieces along with Baekhyun's heart._

_"Ji eun, I don't see you like that! We don't!" Baekhyun creased his brows. He felt the strong urge to hold his friend but he restricted himself._

_As if not listening anymore, she continued to gulp to collect herself and talked straightly without breaking down._

_"It's fine. I accept that." Baekhyun opened his mouth once more but she didn't let him talk, "but what I can't accept is proving that I am what you all think I am. Unlike all of you, I can do something." she said with finality before walking away quickly._

_"Ji eun!" he called a few more times but she was fast. He quickly grabbed his things to follow her, but when he realized that she already left the area, he panicked. He didn't bring his car._

_He cussed before deciding to call the person he thought who could help him._

Baekhyun recalls everything that happened before finding Ji eun in this bistro, fighting with his cousin. He can't even remember how he managed to arrive just in time before Ji eun completely kills Shein. He couldn't help blaming himself. He could've stopped her earlier if he listened to Sehun.

_"We're performing there so Shein must be there too. Maybe Jieun's gonna be there too..."_

But he chose to decline. Because Chanyeol's there. And Shein's there. And if they are, then he didn't wanna be in the same place as them. And Sehun was right, but he didn't listen. Maybe if he didn't let these damn emotions control his decisions then maybe the problem wouldn't be this bigger. From the start, it was all his fault.

The moment they got out of the bistro, he looked at Sehun. The younger understood and distanced himself from the both of them for a while.

"Eun..."

Ji eun slowly faces him. Baekhyun looks at her softly, full of worry. Her face and eyes are still red and there are marks on her skin, concluding the fight that just happened. But her eyes are confused and tired.

"I'm sorry. For being like this. It's all my fault and you're not supposed to be dragged into this mess..."

"As your friend I got no choice but to be part of this. I wish you knew that from the very beginning." she responded seriously.

"I know that." he sighs, "But I don't want my friends to be in trouble because of me. I'm facing enough mess for now."

She paused, making them surrounded by silence. She shrugged as she let out a forced smile.

"Well it's not like I didn't make the choice of trying to completely pull that bitch's hair so..." her lips curve, making Baekhyun smile as well. She subtly looks away, "Plus...some friends are worth getting in trouble for."

Silence envelopes them again.

"Thank you... After everything I've done recently, you chose to stay." Ji eun looks at Baekhyun when he genuinely responds. He clears his throat, "It's just that... I've been in a fucked up situation. I was...I don't know...hurt? Confused? And I wanted to figure it out and deal with all of this by myself. I'm sorry if you ever had to feel that way." Baekhyun took a deep breath after being able to say something true after a long time. His friend nodded with a smile of satisfaction.

"Baek." Ji eun starts off, "Chanyeol..."

"What about him?" he asked seriously when he recalled what happened a while ago.

"You developed feelings for him, didn't you?"

Baekhyun chuckles, "No. Why would you say that? Anger, yes. But―"

"Exactly. It comes along with that." _oh no, not her too, _"C'mon, Baek. I know you too well, and this is not something you can hide from me or Heechul. And Baek, there's nothing wrong with that."

"I told you, no. And that is wrong in so many levels. Don't you remember what he did just―"

"Baek. Don't drift away from the main topic, that doesn't have anything to do with what you feel."

"It does! He's an asshole. He's stupid and all he sees is his perfect wrench of a girlfriend. I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore." he tried to keep his voice casual but his eyes are the one that caught his friend's attention.

Ji eun smiles.

"Oh Baek..."

"What?" Baekhyun looks puzzled, "Don't smile like that it's not funny."

"Sorry. It's just... it's my first time seeing you like this and it's cute." Baekhyun frowned more.

"Chanyeol has nothing to do with this, Baek..." Ji eun adds, her face flashes concern, "He's gullible and naive, yes. But that's because he chooses to believe what he thought was true for his whole life. Like you, he's the biggest victim here, Baek..."

Baekhyun purses his lips.

"And you know something. We all do. But Chanyeol? He's completely clueless. He's stuck in the pit of hell your cousin made."

  
  
x

  
  
  
"Are you sure? I can just take a cab." Baekhyun sheepishly said.

"C'mon! I've always been offering less fortunate people a drive home." Sehun grinned. Baekhyun rolled his eyes with this but smiled nevertheless.

"Kidding aside, sorry for the trouble Sehun. I've been bothering you a lot today and―"

"Naaah stop. Pretty sure you apologized enough to your friend. I don't want you crying on our way home." he said. Baekhyun grinned before actually faking to tear up.

Sehun's smile fades.

"Hey... holy shit. I'm kidding." the younger froze in shock when Baekhyun acted so good that he actually had tears forming in his eyes.

"Pfft!" Baekhyun cracked up. He laughed with Sehun's expression. Sehun sighed in relief before glaring at the older.

"Ass."

"Virgin."

Sehun frowns.

"I'm not!" he yells, making Baekhyun burst in laughter once more.

"Stop laughing. I'm offended..." Sehun says when Baekhyun won't stop insulting him, "After all I've done, I get this..."

Baekhyun purses his lips to stop.

"Sorry."

Sehun's lips curve into a smile before pulling him closer. Baekhyun flinches with his sudden action, his face lands on the younger's broad chest.

Baekhyun doesn't blink. His eyes are wide open when he realizes how close they are.

"Hey, let go." Baekhyun said seriously but Sehun didn't even listen. His face flashes a smug expression as he enveloped Baekhyun's neck with his single arm.

"Let go!"

"You've been tricking me for the whole week, saying that you can't tell me the whole issue or at least what's bothering you so you'll give me a hug instead but you aren't doing it either so I just had to do this."

"Sehun, it's not funny." Baekhyun realized he has never been close to a guy after...at least after every shit that happened.

"It's not, and it shouldn't be." he replies, "I think what you even meant was something more than this but it's okay, I'm cool for now."

"I was drunk and I was joking!"

"Eh try again."

"Stop, I can't breathe." he slaps Sehun's back but he only fails again, "You do realize that we're outside and people can see, don't you?"

"Yeah," he nods. Baekhyun feels this above his head, "but you really need this so they be damned."

Baekhyun smiles a bit but something's like twisting his heart inside. He does. He really needs this. And after everything that happened today, he curses himself. Why is he dismissing so many people that actually gives a shit?

He closes his eyes tight to keep them dry as much as he could. He opens it when Sehun finally lets go, maintaining his casual expression.

"Better?" Sehun smiled.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes but he can't help his lips from curving.

"You just want to take advantage on me." Baekhyun joked. Sehun grins more, not even denying it.

"It's called multitasking."

Baekhyun laughs again. He seizes the moment. He just wants to be true, even if it's just for now. He wants to let it go.

He doesn't know that someone observes them from afar, not really liking the scenario.

  
No one's talking the whole ride to his house. Shein's on the verge of crying, it's obvious. But she doesn't dare to even start sobbing especially when Chanyeol looks like he's about to kill someone with his piercing eyes on the road. It looks like a single noise can make him burst out any moment.

He's fucked up. This whole relationship is. His life is. Those are the things running in his mind right now. And he badly wants to smash this car somewhere but he's sane enough to control himself. Everything that happened tonight triggered him so bad. It pushed him to his limit, the one he thought he didn't have.

He didn't park in the garage when they reached the house.

"Out of the car." he coldly said when he noticed that his girlfriend is about to start another provocative conversation.

"Love..." she said, almost a plead.

Chanyeol threw her a sharp look that made her hop off the car.

Right then, his conscience seems to be nowhere in him. The fact that he's letting out his rage on Shein doesn't make him a bit guilty.

He slams the door of his car and walks inside with the same grim expression. All he wants is to forget.

He walks past Shein who's sitting stiffly on the couch. She follows him with her nervous gaze. Chanyeol goes straight to his room to change his clothes, he hears footsteps behind him after a few seconds.

"You believe them, Chanyeol? All the bullshit they said?" her voice broke. Chanyeol shut his eyes close in frustration. He continuously wears another shirt on, without sparing her a glance from behind.

"Why are you mad at me?!" she steps closer and grabs his hand for him to face her, "Talk to me!"

Chanyeol coldly stares at her. He doesn't say anything, or at least he's preventing himself to.

"It's not me you should be mad at! It's Baekhyun! And his fucking sidekick that hurt me! I told you before...I told you he's planning to tell you lies and that was it! I can't believe you're actually getting fooled right now." she said as she caught her breath.

"I didn't say I believe him―"

"Then talk to me and quit treating me like this! I was hurt! I was almost fucking injured and now you're treating me like shit I―"

"SHEIN PLEASE!" he shouts right at her face. His deep voice echoes within the room. Shein was taken aback in fear, "Let me breathe, will you?! I had a bad day and all I want is to rest god _fucking_ dammit! Let it go!"

Her jaw drops in shock. His piercing eyes make him look even more aggressive. She takes a step backward as she clenches her jaw.

"NO! Not when we fix all of this! We're not letting this go until you stop pulling that shit on me, Chanyeol! Not until you're convinced that my cousin is a one big liar that―"

Her words turn into a shriek of fear when a clashing noise echoes around the room. Chanyeol's working table was flipped harshly by his own large hand. His things and some equipment fell on the floor, crashed and broken.

Shein's hands are now covering her face, her eyes closed against them as she sobs in so much fright. When the sound of broken things starts to fade off, she slowly opens her eyes, bloodshot and wide in shock. She looks at Chanyeol on the other side of the room, his shoulders heave as he pants heavily. His tired and cold gaze remains on the floor, on the things he destroyed in so much rage.

"C-Chanyeol..." she gasps, her authoritative voice replaced by a distressed one, "what did you do..."

Chanyeol looks away, his jaw hardening. He combs his hair in frustration as he manages to speak.

"I'm going out, I'll have someone clean this." he says, clutching tight on his coat, "Don't wait for me."

He heard her calling his name, but he didn't look back. He walks straight out of the place, heading towards the car he left outside. He walks away until he can no longer hear her.

Chanyeol's eyes are directly on the road, but his mind is blank. He doesn't even know where exactly is he driving to. But this is so much better than staying in his house, where he can destroy more things if these thoughts continue to bother his peace.

Like expected, Chanyeol finds himself in a secluded bar, where he's sure no one can find him and remind him about all the bullshit he has to face. He wastes no time as soon as he sits on the counter.

He hears people around him. Boys, girls, some trying to catch his attention, but soon backs out when he flashes them his cold as ice stare. He continuously pours the strong liquor inside his glass, touching his lips down to his throat. He pours another one. Then more, that he couldn't keep track anymore. The voices around him are starting to make no sense. But they aren't muffled, they are clear. His eyes don't even feel heavy. He's wide awake. Drunk, but wide awake.

He recalls the image. Images, to be exact. For how many times did he feel like a total shit for today? Within this day, he had been insulted for countless of times and he can't move on from it. It was like he's slapped right on the face by the same person over and over again.

"Fuck..." he clenches his jaw when the thoughts start to provoke him again, "I _fucking_ hate you..." he mumbles through gritted teeth. He recalls everything that happened today but he just found himself drinking straight when he thinks of a particular scenario. Even if he tries to get himself over it, his tight grasp on the glass proves that the thought gives him unexplainable twitch inside his chest.

"Liar..." he mumbles again, his forehead leans on his palm as he watches the people come and go, repeating the same word, _"Liar..."_ he said again. Shein is right. Baekhyun's a liar. He's lying. He has always been and he should know that. But Chanyeol cannot deny the fact that he's mad because of everything he saw earlier. How Baekhyun looks exactly the opposite when he's with his younger bandmate. When his smile is different, gentle and true. When he can't even spare Chanyeol a look, yet he's hugging Sehun as if he's the only one he needs.

Chanyeol isn't happy.

x

  
"Yah..."

Baekhyun feels someone gently tapping his cheeks. He drowsily opens his eyes, seeing Sehun kneeling with his face right in front of him. He stands up and yawns, looking at the clock on the wall.

2:08 AM

"Tired?" Sehun asks huskily. Baekhyun scratches his neck as he looks around, the living room is in complete mess.

"Yeah," Baekhyun nods like a child, his eyes still half-closed. Sehun grins with the sight, "Sorry I got you tired too."

Sehun's smile turns into a frown.

"Cheater! You said movie marathon then you slept on me!" his whining voice echoed as he stood up. He glares at Baekhyun while his hands are on his waist. Baekhyun smiles apologetically.

"Sorry... I was just too sleepy."

Sehun rolls his eyes.

"Fine. The movie's over, I'm going home now." Sehun shrugged. He starts to grab his keys on the table.

"Wait." Baekhyun creases his brows, "It's late. Don't you want to stay here?" he offered.

Sehun looks at him weirdly, curving his lips teasingly. Baekhyun narrows his eyes.

"Oh fucking Sehun, I'm offering my place for you to sleep, not for the things your filthy mind is currently picturing. Cunt." Baekhyun defended himself in annoyance. Sehun just smirked.

"I didn't even say anything..." he raises his brow, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes again. "But nope, I need to go home. I have to go to university tomorrow. Thanks anyway."

Baekhyun shrugs. He waits for Sehun to put his shoes on before following him to the door. The younger steps outside while he stays behind the door, Sehun faces him again.

He smugly smiles.

"Baekhyun-hy―"

"Don't even start on me with that 'Hyung'." he glared.

"Fine, Baekhyunnie." he slips his leg out to kick him but he quickly moves away, laughing. "Thanks for today and for the food and for the the movies!"

"Too much 'for the'." he shakes his head, "Thanks as well. You know, it's actually my first time bringing a guy over without having sex with him. Achievement." he nodded, as if impressed.

Sehun shrugs again.

"Well, it's only 2 AM so..." he wiggled his brows but Baekhyun only grinned at him.

"Nah uh, booger." he teases before waving him goodbye, the younger starts walking backwards down the hall, still facing him. "Bye. Change your diaper before you sleep okay?" he laughed when Sehun flashed his middle finger before completely walking away.

Baekhyun's smug grin doesn't fade until he closes the door again, preparing to head to his room and continue sleeping. His feet are still on their first few steps when he hears another knock on the door. It's a little louder and Baekhyun gets worried that the landlord may hear. He turns back, thinking that Sehun might've left something.

He opens the door, ready to snap at him with another insult when his grin fades off. He blinks repeatedly, shivering from an unknown cold.

"Disappointed?"

Chanyeol stands in front of his door, his long arm leans on the wall. His drunk gaze coldly lingers on the brunette. Baekhyun doesn't know how he ended up there, in the middle of this hour. But he shouldn't be asking such things. Whatever it is, he should get rid of him.

"What do you want?" he asks seriously. He notices the familiar smell that made him ask again, "Have you been drinking?" he wasn't able to hide the sudden concern in his voice. Baekhyun suddenly thought about the fact that Chanyeol drove all the way here this drunk. He mentally shrugs it off and subtly brings back his cold facade.

Chanyeol doesn't say anything. He continues to drown him with his deep stare. Baekhyun finds it hard to look at him for so long, so he avoids his piercing eyes.

"Go home, Chanyeol. It's late." he said before closing the door but Chanyeol's hand caught it and pushed it back. Baekhyun seriously looked at him.

"I...let's talk." he muttered, still not planning to look away from Baekhyun's face.

The smaller shakes his head, trying to close the door as much as he can.

"Please go home, Chanyeol." Chanyeol angrily pushes the door to open it wider. Baekhyun tries to keep up with his strength.

"Just talk to me!" Chanyeol successfully opened the door. He stepped inside without hesitation.

Baekhyun steps away, keeping the distance.

"What do you want?" Baekhyun starts panting with the tension arising. He can't believe he's letting Chanyeol step in his place again. He doesn't know why he's insisting to talk when he already made it clear that he wants them to stay away.

But it's also obvious that Chanyeol's too drunk to even give a damn. His face screams determination and demand, dismissing all the restrictions that should be between them.

"Liar..." Chanyeol mumbles, drowsily staring at Baekhyun in front of him, "You're a fucking liar, Byun Baekhyun. When will you stop...fooling me..." he continuously mumbled between his heavy breathing.

Baekhyun purses his lips. He nods as his lips curve in sarcasm. As expected, he finds it totally ridiculous.

"You just came here to tell me that? Or did Shein told you to?" Baekhyun asks in disbelief, chuckling lightly. "Believe whatever the hell you want, Chanyeol. And I told you I never want to talk to you again, was it so hard to understand?" he seriously said before turning away to leave him there.

Baekhyun steps away to walk to his room. But he flinches when long arms envelope his body. He freezes when he feels Chanyeol's warmth against his back.

Baekhyun feels like losing his breath with the sudden contact. His chest starts heaving when he felt Chanyeol's face on the side of his neck, close to his ear. Baekhyun tries to get away despite of the overflowing emotions.

"Get off me! Chanyeol!" he struggles to escape his arms with his smaller body. But everything he does only makes Chanyeol hold him tighter. He can't continue being like this. He can't breathe. Not this close.

"Stop doing this to me, Baek..." he whispered deeply. Baekhyun starts to get tired of struggling but he can't stay this close to Chanyeol. Not when he could feel the taller's frantic heartbeat against his back.

"Fine! I lied. I'm a bad person. I ruined your relationship and I'm not gonna bother you again. That's what you want to hear, right?! Just please go away and leave Chan—"

"You said...you told me you're falling for me..." he weakly says, catching Baekhyun off guard, "you did. I don't know why you keep denying that but I heard...it clear."

Baekhyun wasn't able to answer but he continues to let go from the taller's grip. He wasn't expecting it to be about this.

"Why are you doing this to me..."

"Doing what?! I'm not doing anything to you, now can you please let me go?"

"No." Chanyeol shakes his head, "I won't."

"What the fuck is your problem, Chanyeol?!" Baekhyun had no choice but to nudge him with his elbow. He felt him flinching away in pain.

Baekhyun steps away and faces his way to snap at him. But his hand was instantly pulled by the other, his weight completely falls forward. He closes his eyes in fright but his face was tilted up by a large hand. And in an instant, he feels a familiar lips savoring his own.

Chanyeol cups his face, taking advantage of his shocked state to let his tongue enter in his mouth. Baekhyun could taste the alcohol from his tongue, as if getting him drunk as well.

He tries to move his head away but Chanyeol's grasp is hard and demanding. Baekhyun can tell how this will end up if he doesn't try harder.

"S-Stop..." he grunts when the taller lets him catch his breath but soon kisses him again when he breathes enough. Baekhyun closes his eyes this time, indulging himself with the same lips he had gone crazy for before. Chanyeol pants loudly as he begs for more, pinning the smaller onto the closest wall to continue his hungry kisses. Baekhyun wakes up from his wonderment when he feels the growing problem of this madness.

"AH!" Chanyeol falls on his knees when he feels a sharp pain on his crotch. The impact of Baekhyun's knee on his swollen groin made him tear up a bit, his face scrunching in pain as curled up on the floor.

"I-I told you to stop..." Baekhyun pants heavily. He stutters when he watches the other groaning in pain. He realizes that he kicked him harder than expected so he convinces himself that he should not feel guilty even if he doesn't know what to do, "you can't just come here and kiss me like that whenever you fucking feel like it!" his voice is now hoarse.

Chanyeol clenches his jaw as he looks directly at his face with his bloodshot eyes. His hair is all messy, with some strands covering his face.

"Why? Contented enough that some other asshole kisses you? Are you happy now, while you sleep with some other guy than me? Very convenient isn't it?" he spat sarcastically, struggling to stand up.

Baekhyun wasn't able to answer immediately. He can't believe everything he hears. He can't believe he's hearing this from Chanyeol.

"Who are you to say that?" Baekhyun chuckles in disbelief, but his gritted teeth shows how fired up he is. "Who do you think you are? How fucking dare you?"

"What? Isn't it true?" Chanyeol angrily asks, "You let Sehun touch you, hug you, he even stayed here until 2 fucking AM! For what? You slept with him too? Is he better―"

"Get out." Baekhyun clenches his fist. He bursts out when Chanyeol doesn't even budge so he steps closer to hit him the hardest he can. "Get out! Get the fuck out of here!" he hits his chest harder. Chanyeol doesn't even seem to care, watching him with the same smug expression.

"How dare you?! You don't have any rights to meddle with my life you motherfucking asshole!"

He hits him more until he gets tired eventually. He glares at him angrily while he tries to catch his breath from the vigorous action. Chanyeol raises his brows at him, eyes still equally intense with rage.

"Done?" Chanyeol asks him, his body leans on the wall. He can't stand straight now without falling because of too much drunkenness. But he's determined not to leave this place until he lets it all out. Baekhyun deserves to hear all of this. He deserves to be bothered as much as he is.

Baekhyun clenches his teeth, trying to calm himself. He internally reminds himself that Chanyeol is so drunk and he shouldn't let his words affect him this much. He shouldn't be this agitated when he's the sober one between both of them. The fucktard won't probably remember all of this tomorrow morning, when he wakes up beside his lovely princess.

"You know what fucks me up big time?" Baekhyun avoids his gaze as he feels his heartbeat gets worse.

"Go home, please. I'll get you a cab―"

"No! I want..." Chanyeol tries to keep his eyes open and his voice clear, "you to listen...fucking listen to me..."

Baekhyun walks away, afraid of hearing something he doesn't need to hear_._

Chanyeol stumbles as he quickly blocks his way, making sure he'll listen with what he's about to say.

"Chanyeol please!" Baekhyun's voice broke in frustration. He's in enough mess right now. He doesn't need more. He had enough.

Chanyeol shakes his head in defiance, his dark orbs directed at Baekhyun's.

"You can't tell me that you're falling for me while you show me how happy you are with some other man. That's not fair, Baek!" he couldn't even recognize his own voice.

Baekhyun looks up to the ceiling, faking his disinterest when he actually tries to keep his glassy eyes dry. Chanyeol's words fuck him up. And it's just the beginning.

He doesn't understand. His day almost ended up fine, and now here he is, once again in front of him to play with his mind and heart. All this time, Baekhyun just wants certainty. He was sure that staying away from Chanyeol is the best option. But how can he help himself when Chanyeol's the one coming back again and again?

"You can't let them so close to you when you fucking flinch with my touch! You can't smile like that to them when you can't even look at me!" Baekhyun can't help looking at him this time, his mouth slightly opened with the other's blatant words. He needs to gulp to stop himself from crying, especially as he sees a tear falling down from Chanyeol's eyes. "It's a fucking torture, Baekhyun!"

Baekhyun was speechless. This is too much for him to take. Chanyeol can't say anything like this right now when he made it clear to him that it's all one-sided and he'll always side with his girlfriend. _This isn't fair too._

"I'm so tired of pretending that this is all about the chaos between you and Shein because it's not! And we fucking know that!" Chanyeol breathes heavily, "It's about the two of us. Because I don't have any idea what you did to me!"

"Yeol, please..." Baekhyun pleads, completely breaking down while he shakes his head. "That's enough..." he mumbled.

The familiar nickname seems to trigger him even more. God, it felt like years without hearing him call him that. With the same voice that makes him want to do whatever the other pleases.

But he needs to say it all, while the chance is there.

"I don't understand...before all of this, everything was fine. I was sure about everything, including Shein. I was so sure about her..." he pauses, still panting, "but why am I here right now, Baek?"

His voice almost turns into a whisper, asking the question he can no longer keep to himself.

"Why did I end up here? Fucked up and begging because I miss you so much?"

Baekhyun shuts his eyes tightly. He wasn't able to answer. Because if he allows himself to say whatever he feels, then it's a bigger trouble.

Yes, trouble.

"Say something," Chanyeol looks at him, "Say something, Baekhyun. Don't play deaf again, I want you to say something―"

"You think I don't?" Baekhyun blurts out, gaze directed at Chanyeol.

It was Chanyeol's turn to fall silent.

"We're the same, Chanyeol. Fucked up. Messed up―"

"And you miss me too?" Chanyeol cuts off, a trace of hope in his voice is obvious. "Say it."

Chanyeol was almost sure he'll deny but Baekhyun blatantly answers.

"I do."

Chanyeol can hear how the thing in his chest rummage as if a fucking race is happening inside. An emotion he hasn't felt for a long time flows right inside him now.

"I do, Chanyeol." Baekhyun smiles, but it's a sad one, "But that's it. We have to accept that it's all part of the setup. Growing fond with each other and not being used to having one another unexpectedly." Baekhyun said, instantly pulling him down from the verge of hope.

Chanyeol shakes his head.

_That's not what I meant. It's more than that and you know it._

"No..." Chanyeol said.

"And when I told you..." Baekhyun takes a deep breath before looking at him directly, "that I'm falling for you. I thought you knew that it's part of the plan." he forces a smile, "I was lying, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol narrows his eyes. This is something he can't come to believe. Because he happens to know the person in front of him. Or at least, he thought.

"You're still a bad liar, Baek." he chuckles, but he grits his teeth.

Baekhyun casually smiles at him. The kind of smile that pisses him off the most.

"Accept it, Chanyeol." he slowly nods, "that's how I resent Shein. To the point that you actually believe I'm in love with you."

His last phrase unconsciously echoes inside Chanyeol's head. This is not how he expected this to end up. Not like this.

"Aren't you, Baek?" he asks again, not letting it go. "You are. I know it."

Baekhyun slowly shakes his head again.

"I don't. I don't love, Chanyeol." he says, "that's for weaklings."

The way his mouth curve made Chanyeol recall everything he knew about the smaller. How neglected he was and how he trained himself to stop caring a long time ago.

He wasn't able to answer again. Deep inside, he knows it's all bullshit. Baekhyun's putting on another facade. But in his mind, he also thinks about the possibilities.

Baekhyun grabs this chance to pull him towards the door and pushes him out. He's drunken and conflicted state makes it easier for the smaller to completely get him out. He struggles and stays between the door.

"You heard everything I need to say, Chanyeol. Now go home, your girlfriend's probably worried."

Unable to grapple any further, Chanyeol weakly sits in front of the door. Dismissing the fact that it's almost morning, and it's cold. He'll prove what he said. He'll stay here until he gets the answer he needs.

Baekhyun sighs because of this. He watches Chanyeol sitting in front of his door, staring blankly at the floor without any plan on leaving.

"I'll get you a cab." Baekhyun said when he couldn't stand leaving him alone.

"No." Chanyeol answers, "let me be."

Baekhyun can feel the twinge inside his chest when he can't even have himself close the door and leave Chanyeol outside. But if that's what he wants, then stopping him will make him more stubborn.

"I hope you finally stay away from me." Baekhyun says in a low voice, not even sure if Chanyeol's listening, with his head dangling in front as if lifeless. "Stop making yourself look so pathetic, Chanyeol." he managed to say before completely closing the door.

Chanyeol hears it, but his gaze remains on the floor. He'll stay here.

While on the other side of the door, clutching his chest as he sobs quietly, is a weakling.

x

  
"Where is he?" her voice is filled with so much worry, she looks around the apartment, "Is he okay?"

Jaewon nods reluctantly at Shein, then points a room.

"He's right there." he says, "He's so drunk, he's in a deep slumber."

She doesn't wait for his permission as she enters the room. Jaewon scratches the back of his head as he follows. Chanyeol lies on the bed, with the same clothes he wore the other day. He looks so tired and messed up. Shein can't help tearing up.

"How did you find him?" she asked without turning to face Jaewon, she caressed Chanyeol's face in concern.

"Oh, uh...." Jaewon cusses when he realized he didn't prepare an alibi, "the owner of the apartme―I mean bar, is...uhm, friend of ours so he called me and told me Chanyeol's there." he avoided Shein's scrutinizing look.

"Oh baby..." she groans, "he must've been so upset because we fought so bad last night..."

Jaewon forces a smile, "Pretty sure you'll fix that once he wakes up. Oh, I need to check the soup! I'll leave you there first." he quickly walked out, earning him another weirded out look from Shein.

"Love...where have you been? I've been looking for you..." she talks to him while she combs his hair with her fingers. Chanyeol tilts his head to another direction, grunting muffled words.

Shein badly wants him to wake up so she could finally break the news. But she knows she has to wait a few more hours.

"God, love. Don't do that again, hmm? I'm not mad at you anymore..." she traced his nose with her finger.

"Hmm..." he groaned, before whispering a word. Shein caught this, her forehead creasing.

"What is it, love?" she leans closer to him, "what are you saying?" she chuckled.

"_Ba..._"

Shein's smile fades off when he repeats it.

"Love?"

_"Baek..."_

Her expression completely changes. Her chest heaves as she takes a deep breath. Thoughts start to cloud her mind.

"Chanyeol." she called seriously, trying to calm herself by thinking that it might've been just a slip of the tongue.

Chanyeol doesn't move. But when she almost sighed in relief, his lips moved once more.

_"Don't go...Baek."_

Shein wasn't able to move. Tears start to pool her eyes as she breathes frantically.

"Hey, I made a sou―_Shein!_ where are you going?" Jaewon cusses when the hot liquid touches his skin when Shein lightly bumps on him, crying. He follows her with his gaze before looking back at Chanyeol who's still sleeping. "No shit, dude. What did you do?"

She continues to sob as she puts her phone over her ear. She reaches the floor balcony when a deep voice answers her call.

"Shein?" the cold voice asks in surprise, "Why are you crying?"

She glares at her reflection on the glass window.

"Uncle..." she tries to talk despite of sobbing, "Can we meet? I need to talk to you."


	20. 19-Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments motivate me a lot ^-^

Chanyeol wakes up with a terrible headache. He groans when he felt like someone's hammering his skull. When he looks around, he's in his room, with a glass of water and paracetamol on the side table.

He tries sitting up and enduring the pain to reach the glass of water and medicine. After drinking them, he groggily stares in space, not feeling a bit better as he recalls every single shit he had done.

His eyes shut close. He massages the bridge of his nose when he realized that a horrible hangover isn't enough to make him forget the words from last night. Every single one of it.

"You're awake."

He instantly turns to look at the door, where Shein is leaning on with her arms crossed over her chest.

He doesn't answer when he couldn't find the words to say. Especially because he just remembered their argument from last night. He can't even believe he actually forgot about it.

"Shein—"

"You remember what you did?"

Chanyeol blinks cluelessly when she cuts him off. He stares at her but she's as casual as she always was, her face is blank.

"Last...night?" Chanyeol reluctantly asks, trying to keep himself from saying anything, "or?"

"When you were drunk."

His brows crease in confusion. Last thing he recalls is when he was sitting outside Baekhyun's door. But of course, he shouldn't say that.

"No..." he shakes his head slowly, earning him the same odd look from her that he couldn't read.

They remain staring at each other when she didn't answer. Chanyeol becomes a little tensed.

"Did I cause trouble?" he asks once more, "Sorry, Shein. Also... about last night, everything I did... I didn't mean it. I didn't want to scare you like that. I'm sorry." he continuously said, sincere.

Shein stares at him blankly before shrugging.

"It's fine, baby. No worries." she flashed a smile. Her chest is heaving beneath her arms, though.

She steps forward to Chanyeol's bed and sits beside him, still wearing her usual smile. Chanyeol is suddenly feeling a little bizarre.

She caresses his face.

"Just don't do that again, yeah babe?" she raises her brows before chuckling, "If I wasn't so in love with you, I wouldn't have done crazy things." she smiled sweetly.

Chanyeol smiles a bit but his forehead creases, "things?"

She shrugs again.

"You know... carrying you all the way here and stuff." her eyes are on his chest when she talks.

Chanyeol nods his head.

"You went somewhere?" Chanyeol asked when he noticed her clothes. She simply nods with the same blank expression.

"To the supermarket, I bought ingredients." she plays with his hand, before smiling again.

"Brunch, love? I cooked something!" she's suddenly her usual gleeful self. Chanyeol smiles before nodding, the unknown feeling still in his chest.  
  


Chanyeol has a trace of frown on his face when he goes out for lunch. The amount of work plus the tension inside the office didn't help him smile for a bit.

His brows crease when he spots a familiar figure waiting at the lobby. He walks nearer and confirms it.

"Sehun?" he called. The younger looks at him, a little surprised. But his face returns to being blank when he realizes that his hyung also works here.

Chanyeol is confused to why Sehun is here. For a second, he actually thought he's here to talk to him. But then he realized something, though he doesn't know if he can accept it.

"Is it your lunch break?" he asked.

Sehun nods reluctantly, still held with the fact that they're not in talking terms yet.

"Oh," Chanyeol smiles, "Wanna go with me? My treat." he offered, trying to make him remember what they usually do before.

"Actually, I'm waiting for Baekhyun..." he answers awkwardly, his face blank. "We're gonna go get some lunch."

Chanyeol purses his lips. He nods slowly, trying to maintain his smile.

"I see you two are getting much closer now huh..." he remarked, trying to keep the bitterness off his voice but the younger knows better.

"Yeah." Sehun shrugs casually, "I mean, why not? We're both single."

Chanyeol feels the irritation suddenly filling him up.

"Not that it's bad, Hun..." he flashes a smug smile despite his coolness completely leaving him, "But don't you think it's a little indecent to date him, knowing what has been something between us?"

Sehun raises his brows at this. The trace of rancor in his words doesn't escape his attention.

"No. It doesn't bother me at all, Hyung. If that's what you're saying." he tries not to snap at the older, "I like Baek, and I don't see anything indecent about that."

"Still," Chanyeol snaps, "I really think you can do better."

Sehun chuckles sarcastically.

"Why would I settle for the better when I can have the best?" his taunting voice pushes Chanyeol's limit further, "Baekhyunnie-hyung is amazing. And I wouldn't go to this extent if he isn't worth it."

"My point is," Chanyeol can't help himself, "you told me you won't force yourself to him when he's clearly into someone else. You made that clear as the sun. You think I forgot?" his gaze pierced through the other's eyes. But even if it's hard to believe, Sehun expected this from him.

"And I changed my mind." Sehun snaps back, his brows creasing. "I don't get why you're being salty about this, Hyung. But as long as I find a chance, I take it. Anyway, I think he's starting to get over _him_ too so there's not much of a problem. Between Baek and I, at least." Sehun shrugged, making sure to finish this conversation on his terms.

Chanyeol wasn't able to answer. Or maybe he's preventing himself to say something as anger completely takes over him. Before he ruins his friendship with Sehun completely.

"You know what you should do? Don't worry about me that much, Hyung. Go home and tend to your girlfriend. As I see it, she gets a lot nicer when she's happy and when she gets everything she wants. Do her and everyone a favor." he sarcastically said before walking past Chanyeol to run towards someone who just walked out from the lobby.

Chanyeol sees how Sehun's face comes back to a smiling one. He can't even find himself doing the same, especially when he caught the same familiar eyes on him. Owned by the one talking to Sehun.

"You hungry?" Sehun flashed a wide grin at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun's eyes couldn't leave Chanyeol's. They stare at each other for a while before he completely looks at the younger in front of him, trying his best to casually smile.

"A little," Baek grins. When he tries to look at Chanyeol's direction again, the taller was gone, "what were you talking about with..."

"Oh." Sehun shrugs casually, "Nothing much. Nothing important, at least."

Baekhyun nods slowly, not convinced though. He forces a smile.

"Let's go?"  
  


"Told you that resto was dope." Sehun's grin fades off when he notices Baekhyun spacing out again, "Hey. You okay?"

"Huh?" Baekhyun raises his brows before flashing a raw smile, "I am. I'm good."

"Tss." Sehun rolls his eyes, "What are you thinking about again? Don't tell me it's—"

"Nothing! I told you." he quickly cuts him off, unwilling to even go near the subject. "I just space out a lot when I'm tired."

Baekhyun isn't liking this. For the past few weeks, he finds himself hanging out a lot with Sehun. And the more they get to know each other, he realizes how fun he is to be with. Sehun exerts a lot of effort and energy when he's with him. So he doesn't understand why his thoughts still fly away when they're together. Why he can't completely commit himself to those who are actually trying for him, than to those who are not.

Sehun clears his throat before talking again.

"Baek. Remember what I told you?" he asks seriously, Baekhyun blinks in confusion. "Why don't you just try? I mean... there's nothing wrong with that—"

"No, Sehun. I told you."

"But we're just going to try it out! There's nothing wrong if we date. We both know we're atleast compatible, no conflicts and all this bullshit dramas. There's nothing to lose if we date, Baek."

"There is." Baekhyun responds with a small smile, opposed to the younger who's more serious in convincing him. "It's our friendship. Relationships are messy and we can do a lot of things even if we stay friends. Because our friendship is the last thing I would want to lose, Hun. I don't want to lose this all just for risking a relationship with no guarantees."

Sehun isn't able to answer. His serious gaze moves from Baekhyun's eyes down to the empty space. Baekhyun gulps when silence covers them again. The last thing he wants is to hurt Sehun. He's been comforting him for so long and this is all he gives in return?

The younger looks at him again, his lips curve into a lazy grin.

"Just tell me you don't like me."

Baekhyun sighs in frustration.

"I do like you a lot, Sehun!" he answered in defense. It's true. He likes him. He wouldn't be enjoying his company every single day if he doesn't.

"You know that's not what I mean." Sehun shrugs as he faces the steering wheel again, feeling a pang inside him when Baekhyun falls speechless once more. "Anyways, you can't sit on your favorite part of the bus when someone's already there, can you?" he takes a quick glance at Baekhyun who's watching him, unable to let those eyes hide his feelings.

"Ah...really...what's with me and buses... I should just stop taking them and bring my car to school instead." he clicked his tongue before chuckling. He starts driving but he finds it hard to breathe when he tries to keep his grin.

"Yeah, you should." Baekhyun smiles as he answers, "Or just take a different seat in the bus. Surely, it's just as good or maybe even better than your favorite one." he leaned back to his seat.

Sehun's forced grin fades off. He looks at Baekhyun again. Baekhyun smiles wide before completely facing the window. This enables the younger to loosen up. And even without looking at each other, they know their little smiles are from the heart.  
  


"You sure you don't want me to come too?" Sehun asks like a parent, looking seriously at him. "Are you gonna be fine?"

"Sehun this is my house!" he laughed, but the younger remains serious. He's looking out at the dark sky above the small building.

"But..." Sehun tries to say something, Baekhyun raises his brows. "Fine. Nevermind. Just text me once you reach home."

"But this is my home!" Baekhyun exclaimed as if it's ridiculous. Sehun already drove him home and he's still acting like a nagger mom.

"Just send me a quick text you dumbo!" Sehun rolled his eyes with the older being stubborn.

Baekhyun hops off the car, laughing. Sehun completely sounds like a guardian reminding him things. It's completely pointless to worry that much when he's already home.

There's nothing much to worry, especially if he knows that their friendship is still intact after that conversation they had earlier. He doesn't want his relationship with Sehun to change. Those insults and jokes are the only things that make him feel better through the weeks.

He hums on his way up but stops sooner when he feels someone looking at him.

He looks around but no one's there. The only sound around is from his keys, clanking against each other.

He resumes to walking down the hall until he reaches his door, still feeling bizarre. He shrugs it off and pulls his phone from his pocket.

To: Sehun-ah

_I'm home, mother_

Not a few seconds passed when he responds, obviously waiting for the text.

From: Sehun-ah

_I don't care_

He chuckles. Looking down on his doorknob where his smile fades off in fear when he noticed the door open.

Before he can even look around, he feels a strong fist on his abdomen. He yelps in pain as his body curves down. Another one punches the same spot and he feels his stomach clenching. His vision blurred with tears of pain. He wasn't able to scream for help when a cloth with a suffocating smell wraps on his face, leaving him completely unconscious.  
  


He's awake. He starts to gain his consciousness again but he refuses to open his eyes. He could feel the cold ground on his face and he's not stupid to ask where he is and what's happening to him.

Although the person who got him probably knows him better because a hand harshly grips his cheeks. This grip lifted him up to sit straight on the ground. He has no choice but to open his eyes, meeting with another pair whom he knows too well.

How can he forget?

"Still a fucking disgrace you are."

He grins with the older man's remark. He can feel his fingers digging deeper onto his skin, making him grunt in pain.

"I've already decided to let you be because I realized you're a hopeless case, Baekhyun. But seems like you're getting worse." the grip loosened up and the man finally let his face go but soon after, his thick palm hit his face.

Baekhyun's smirk grows wider. He lets out a mocking chuckle before spitting a blood-stained saliva on the floor.

"Did your favorite niece say something again, _father_?"

"When will you ever learn, Baekhyun?" he fakes a concern tone, taking a deep breath as if he's calmed enough before casually hitting his son's face again. "When will you ever," Baekhyun grunts when he felt his hand on his other cheek, "learn that you carry my fucking name?! You're immorality stains our whole family you goddamn piece of shit!"

"And when will you ever learn that I don't give a shit about your name and legacy?" he coldly asks, his gaze directed sharply at the old man. "Disown me for all I care! Let me―"

He yelps out when a stronger fist punches his face. The bigger men start gathering around them, waiting for their boss' order when to kill the poor guy kneeling on the floor. _His son._

Baekhyun feels a bunch of thick paper getting thrown at his face. His blood and sweat stained face looks down at them, realizing that these are all photos.

"You even had the guts to target your own cousin's boyfriend? What a big slut you are!"

Baekhyun pants heavily as he leans down closer to see the photos clearly. It's their photos. Photos of them kissing somewhere and doing god-knows what after.

"All of these came to my notice a few months ago but it was just yesterday that I found out he's your cousin's boyfriend." his father spat in disbelief, "Your cousin was crying because she doesn't have any idea why her man is calling you while he sleeps. Oh that's how good you fuck? That the foolish man can't even get over it 'til his sleep?"

Baekhyun looks at him because of this, his heart racing.

His father's cold face levels with his own when he sits in front of him, grabbing some of the pictures to crumple them in front of his face.

"This is how low you are, Baekhyun!"

Baekhyun's heart twinges in pain. Not with his father's cruel words, at least. He looks at each of the photo in front of him and everything starts to come back. He looks at the smile on his own face, on Chanyeol's face. They don't look like people who are doing crazy things behind someone's back. They look so free. And this is the only moment he came to realize that.

And he can't manage to think why Chanyeol should be dragged into this.

_"Like you, he's the biggest victim here, Baek."_

Ji eun's words suddenly come running into his mind.

Hot tears start pooling on the corner of his eyes. Although he's pretty sure it's not from the wounds and bruises.

For the first time, it's like something's pushing him to fight back. Not just for himself. Not only for him.

"Did you even ask if he still loves her?" Baekhyun collects himself to flash a smug smile, "He wouldn't do that if he does."

"You think it's you he loves now?" his father chuckles sarcastically, "you really think someone's capable of loving a person like you? Please!" Mr Byun starts laughing like a maniac. The other goons around him grin with this remark, as if agreeing.

"You're nothing but an object of libido, Baekhyun. He uses you for lust!" his father grabs his hair from the back, tilting his head to get a better view of his tortured state. "Don't get your hopes up because no one's capable of liking people of your kind."

Baekhyun stares directly in his eyes. Those eyes that resemble his own. But the only difference is that they're cold. Cruel and empty.

"Are you going to obey me this time, Baekhyun?"

"Are you waiting for me to beg?" Baekhyun asks mockingly, "Beg like I did before? Beat me up til I'm almost lifeless and ask for you to just kill me instead? You wait for that, Appa?"

His father doesn't answer. He could see the older man gritting his teeth as he grasps his hair tighter.

Baekhyun collects the fluid and blood inside his mouth before harshly spitting it out at the older man's face. His smirk becomes broader before he felt the familiar slap on his face. Even until his cheeks hit the cold ground, his mocking smile still doesn't fade off. He could hear the old man shouting profanities and anger at him, kicking him on his stomach as if making sure he won't live after this.

"Beat that ungrateful bastard! Make sure he learns his fucking lesson!" he shouts hoarsely, still fuming mad. He harshly wipes of the spit on his face, his fists clutched tightly.

"After all these years..." Baekhyun manages to talk despite being beaten by multiple goons, "this is all you can do... Kill anyone who gets in your way. Protect all your power. Have ugh— s-someone beat me up so I'll be the son you expect me to be." he made sure his words are audible and clear even if he's already having a hard time breathing and talking.

"But this is me. I'm homosexual. I'm a slut like how you said it. And I'm your son. Accept that. No beating can make me change my life."

He makes sure he stares at those eyes while he's getting kicked at. The devil. His father.

"_Coward_." Baekhyun spits out, maintaining an eye contact with him, "I'm not going to die this way... I won't let a coward take my life this easy, you hear me?"

His eyes feel heavy when he can't hold himself anymore, receiving another punch. He grins weakly to look at him for the last time.

"That's our difference...Appa. Unlike you, I'm brave."

He wasn't mistaken. Beside the coldness and cruelty in the old man's gaze, flashed something he has never seen in his whole life.

This doesn't fade off immediately. He confirms it when his father's eyes glistened against the dim light of that building.

"Stop."

He says a single word, but it made the whole bunch of men around Baekhyun stop in an instant. Baekhyun couldn't care less. He's too weak. He can no longer lift himself nor his spirit anymore.

When he tries to open his left eye, he could see his father, breathing heavily while he stares at him. A pistol is on his hand, directed at him.

Baekhyun is disgusted. Up until the last time, he proves his cowardice. That he's willing to kill his own blood just to prove his authority. He can never take such man as his father. Never.

"KANGHYUN!" a voice of a woman made him look behind him. Baekhyun hears a loud gasp from where the voice is. Right then he hears a loud sound of steps running towards him, "Oh my God...Oh my God...Baekhyun...t-that's my son..." her voice broke. She runs toward Baekhyun's almost unconscious body.

She screams in horror when she sees her son, lying on the floor in complete detriment.

Baekhyun feels a pair of soft hands lifting up his head. And even without opening his eyes, he could hear her hard sobs of pain and torment. He could also feel hot liquid dripping on to his wounded face. He hears her wailing whispers of _"Please... God, my son..."_

"WHAT DID YOU DO?! YOU SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY SON?!" she runs to the old man and punches him with all her might, her voice sounds hoarse, "DEMON! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO BAEKHYUN?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" she continues to be hysterical, hurting the man in front of her and thinking how much he deserves to get whatever he gave to Baekhyun. Baekhyun's father doesn't move. He lets her do all of this while his cold gaze is still directed at his son.

"LET GO OF ME! LET GO!" she struggles when the men start to pull her away and stop her from completely killing her husband with her bare hands. She was pushed on the floor where she yelped but soon walked on her knees towards her child again.

"Baekhyun-ah, Mama's here..." she cries while she tries to lift his weight up and hug him tight, "Mama's here...I-I'm never going to leave you again."

"Mikyung. Move away." he coldly says, lifting up the gun again to their direction, "that man isn't my son. This is what he wants and he'll get it."

His mother frantically shakes her head, closing her eyes tight as she repeats every word for Baekhyun to hear.

"I'm sorry...Sorry, Baekhyun-ah...I'm never going to leave you again..." she whispers. Baekhyun can no longer keep himself from crying against her chest, as if he's that 6-year-old child crying to his Mom when he has a bad dream. His blood-stained hands clutch her waist closer. Right then, even when death is around them both, Baekhyun feels protected.

"Mikyung!"

"You're gonna have to kill me first." she throws a stern and sharp gaze at him with her son's body in her arms, "I won't let you touch him as long as I'm alive."

Kanghyun wasn't able to answer. He can't. He knows that. Whether the woman's there or not, he cannot do it.

"Y-You promised me..." she cries against Baekhyun's head, "You said you wouldn't hurt him again... I missed my son everyday but I endured it, thinking you'll never hurt him again if he doesn't come back. How could you do this, Kanghyun... No person deserves this... E-Especially my son..." she continuously said between her sobs.

"Stop talking nonsense and move away!" his father's angry voice echoes within the walls, "You're always tolerating that bastard that's why he never learns!"

"No. It's you I've been tolerating! I didn't do anything when you _disciplined_ our child. I didn't realize how you ruined him!" she gulps to keep herself from stuttering, "this time, I'll stand with my son." she coldly said.

"You'll get what's coming for you, mark my words." she added at the exact moment a bodyguard runs toward them with a phone on his hand.

"Sir. We just got a call from the headquarters, the warehouse is being raided..." everyone saw how his face lost its color in so much horror.

He wasn't able to say anything, although after a few seconds, he turns to the woman kneeling on the floor. Her gaze is piercing.

"Mikyung, you didn't...?" he panted heavily with the realization.

"Mr Byun! There are cops outside!" the men start to guide him out to escape, pulling out their guns as if preparing for a shootout. When they're meters away, he can't help but look back at both the persons left inside.

"Eomma..." Baekhyun finally muttered under his breath, another tear falling from the side of his eye.

"Sshh... It's okay. You're fine now, darling. They're gone..." she hushed, keeping her sobs silent so that he won't worry more.

"I-I'm sorry..." her heart crushes into pieces when she hears how Baekhyun's voice breaks.

"Oh baby..." she smiles sadly, wiping off the tears and dirt from his face, "I should say that...I-I was such a bad mom and I know how much you hated me...I deserved it. I didn't do anything. I'm so...sorry."

"I'm sorry, Eomma... I'm sorry..." Baekhyun still repeats it like a mantra, his voice getting weaker. He feels her soft lips over his forehead when he finally loses consciousness, unsure if he'll be able to wake up again.  
  
  


Chanyeol walks back and forth his room. His heart thumps so fast. He glances over the clock and goes back to walking again.

He cusses when he can no longer stop himself, quickly grabbing his phone. He clicks the new number he just saved a couple of hours ago.

It's just ringing. He becomes even more nervous when no one answered the phone. His face clearly shows worry.

"_Shit._ Should I just ask the police..." he muttered while redialing the number again. He almost jumped in surprise when someone finally picks up.

"Hello?" a low voice of a woman greeted over the line. Chanyeol becomes more tensed.

"O-Oh...uhm, Mrs Byun?" his voice stutters so he gulps, "It's me...Chanyeol."

"Oh! Chanyeol-ah. I'm glad you called..." she says, trying to sound joyful but her voice can't lie. "You can go here. I'll text you the address, dear."

"It's fine. I just want to know...if he's okay?" his heart skips a beat when he thinks of disturbing thoughts. He knows he can't visit. No one's allowed to.

He feels his fingers shaking a little when she doesn't answer.

"Well...he's..." she can't find the words to say so she just took a deep breath. "You can just go and see him here, Chanyeol. You'll be the only one I'll allow to. Right now, he's still unconscious. So you may visit tomorrow dear..."

Chanyeol slowly nods as if she could see him. He knows, Baekhyun isn't close to okay.

"I'm sorry... I know you're worried." Mrs Byun added when he didn't answer.

"It's okay, Ma'am. I can wait." he gulps, "I just wish he's okay..."

She pauses for a bit.

"He will be..." she says, comforting the both of them, "Baek's gonna be okay..."  
  


Who is he kidding? Chanyeol didn't even close his eyes until dawn. He tried but thoughts of Baekhyun ran inside his head.

He stops pretending when the clock strikes at 7AM. Slowly, he gets off the bed without trying to wake Shein up. He does his routine quickly and next thing he knew, he's inside his car.

Chanyeol is worried. He knows nothing. He doesn't know how everything ended last night and he can't properly rest unless he assures himself that Baekhyun's okay. He knows too well that it wouldn't be nice to ask all his curiosity from Mrs Byun over the phone. After all, she's nice enough to let him visit when it should be the time where she shouldn't trust anyone to get near her son.

"I'm Chanyeol." he immediately says when a tall bodyguard blocks his way, "Park Chanyeol."

"Let him in..." he hears a gentle voice behind the man, there's Mrs Byun smiling warmly at him. The man let's him walk past him. Chanyeol smiles sheepishly at the woman, he doesn't know what to say. But as soon as he gets nearer, she pulls him into a hug.

"Thank you, Chanyeol-ah..." she whispers between their hug. When she pulls away, her eyes are moist, "If it wasn't for you...I wouldn't...I wouldn't have saved him." she gets emotional again. Chanyeol pats her back.

"Is he okay now, Ma'am?" he immediately asks after she calms down a bit, "Please tell me he's fine..."

She smiles a little, "He is. He woke up just a while ago and he's under observation now. You can see him. Do you want to see him now?" she stepped toward the door but Chanyeol stopped her.

"No..." he says, shaking his head, she looks back at him, "I mean...maybe not now, Ma'am. I don't think...he wants to see me."

She smiles at him because of this, a meaningful one. "Oh dear."

Chanyeol looks at her reaction, confused. Though he insists to stay outside, "It's okay. I just want to make sure he's fine now..."

"Okay, if you say so. Although I still think it wouldn't be bad if you talk to him, but it's your choice."

"Is it okay if I ask about what really happened? I mean...if it's not too sensitive to be tackled." he asks, following Mrs. Byun to the glass window. He realizes that Baekhyun can be seen from their position and vice versa so he chooses to stand behind the wall instead, letting Mrs. Byun watch over her son while they talk.

He's not sure if he can look at Baekhyun in this state. Nor if he can risk getting seen by the other and make him more agitated.

"His father has always been abusive to him. Verbally and physically. It started when he showed signs of liking someone on the same gender. He just couldn't accept that. You know, all the wealth and power he's got then he'll have to deal with the fact that his son is gay. He has always been so close-minded." she told. Her face shows how much she despises him, recalling thoughts from last night.

Chanyeol looks serious. He listens silently.

"I've always been too weak to protect him. I knew that. When he tells me he's simply disciplining him, I wasn't defying him. Even if it hurt so much, I endured it. Baekhyun has always been so brave. Strong-hearted. I tend to my son only after he's already hurt, and that's when I realized that he's not only growing apart from his father...but also from me. I wasn't hurting him the way his father does, but the fact that I was letting him and did nothing, it's exactly the same as hurting Baekhyun." she smiled sadly. Her gaze focuses on her son from inside the room.

"I knew it was a better decision to let him leave when he insisted to run away. He wasn't free. I needed to give him his freedom. I knew in that way he'll be happier. Even if nightmares kept coming every night, I convinced myself that my son is okay somewhere. On his own, not letting anyone tell him what to do. I made a pact with his father that we'll finally let him live independently. We made a deal that he won't hurt and disturb my son again, as long as I won't help Baekhyun with anything and we won't try to find him anymore." her jaw hardened. She keeps her tears from falling continuously.

"I should've known... I shouldn't have made a deal with a devil."

Chanyeol is speechless. All this time, he didn't know Baekhyun went through all this shit.

His heart aches so much. He's so mad at himself.

"I-If you just knew....how terrible that torture was for me, not seeing my son for so many years without having any idea if he eats well or if he's sick. I was dying inside everyday, Chanyeol. I missed my son so much. And last night, when I saw him lying on..." she stops talking because of so much emotion, she blinks a few times to avoid crying again. Chanyeol's heart twinges. He gulps with the painful sight before reaching out for her hand to hold it in comfort.

"When I saw him lying on the floor... full of blood and wounds, d-dying... I realized how bad of a mother I was. So many years of not holding him, and last night I thought the only thing I'll be able to hold was his lifeless body. I can't take it, seeing him like that anymore. I'd rather die..." Chanyeol hugs her. He subtly wipes the forming tears on the corner of his eyes. He's just too weak for this. When he hugs the woman, he immediately thought of his Mom. And to see people like them getting hurt like this, hurts him more.

He made sure Baekhyun's mother is calmed and comforted before letting her go. She wipes her swollen eyes before smiling at him again.

"Thank you, Chanyeol...for calling the police last night. I don't know what could've happened if you weren't there. You're so good to my son. I can't thank you enough..." she patted his shoulder lightly. Chanyeol only smiled. If she only knew. _I wasn't good to him. I was an ass._

Chanyeol manages to stand beside her now, in front of the glass window. His heart jumped when he looks at Baekhyun, bruises and wounds try to cover his beauty. His arm is covered with a sling. He's sitting on his bed, feet swinging on the edge but not touching the floor. His gaze is on the empty space. Chanyeol smiles.

"You came there too, it just happened that I was there. I'm glad I helped, Ma'am. But it was you who saved him." he says, eyes not leaving the smaller, "And Baekhyun...he missed you too. I can tell. I've always seen it in his eyes." he turned to look at her with his smile. Mrs. Byun smiles back because of this.

"By the way," she starts off, "Can I ask, why were you outside his apartment that night?" she asked out of curiosity. Chanyeol gulps.

"Oh..." he doesn't know how to answer this, he probably looked like some kind of a stalker, "I...well..." he stuttered.

Mrs. Byun raises both her brows before laughing softly.

"Nevermind. Forget I asked." she said, still laughing.

Chanyeol forces a smile. He doesn't even know how to answer it, because he's also confused about his recent actions.

When he turns to look back inside, Baekhyun's eyes are directed at them already. Him especially. Chanyeol's smile fades off, he cusses internally. Baekhyun's eyes are blank, unreadable. Although he stares at Chanyeol a little longer.

Chanyeol avoids his gaze when he can't look back anymore. He slowly steps back behind the wall, to hide himself before facing Mrs. Byun again.

"I should go now, Ma'am." he politely said. Mrs Byun looks at him in dismay.

"That fast?" she asks, wondering why he's already leaving when Baekhyun already saw him. But when he stays silent, she ought to understand. "Okay. Off you go, then. I'll see you again, Chanyeol."

He bows at her before starting to walk away. His heart beats uncontrollably, remembering how Baekhyun's eyes bore at him after a long time.

A minute after he left, Mrs. Byun walks inside Baekhyun's room with her big smile. Baekhyun looks at her.

"Baekhyun-ah, you hungry?" she cheerfully asked. Baekhyun only shook his head.

"He left?" he asks. His mother's brows crease, "Chanyeol. He left already?"

"Oh...yeah, he didn't want to stay longer." she answered while peeling some fruits. Baekhyun unconsciously watches her do it, thoughts clouding up his mind.

"What were you talking about with him?" he asked, full of curiosity.

"I just thanked him for helping me last night," she takes a quick glance to smile at him, "he helped me save you."

Baekhyun doesn't answer. He looks at the floor, still in awe. His mother sits in front of him, giving him tiny bits of fruits to chew easily.

"I told him to call the police and make them follow my GPS. He also reported about the illegal transactions at the warehouse." she eats along with Baekhyun, but her son eats slower, still unable to process the information.

Of all people, Baekhyun didn't expect it to be Chanyeol.

"Are you shocked? You seem to be really good friends from what I see." she said intriguingly.

"We're not." Baekhyun blurted out, weakly chewing the apple. He avoids his mother's gaze.

"Well, okay..." she responds in a low voice, "Maybe he was just casually hanging out in front of your apartment last night."

Baekhyun instantly looks at her with this.

"What?"

"He was. He was almost sleeping inside his car when I saw him and asked for help." she shrugs, "Maybe he was waiting for you to come home and eventually fell asleep."

Baekhyun stares blankly at her. He even stopped chewing his food. Mrs. Byun smiles at this.

"C'mon. You can tell me everything now, darling. Whatever it is between you and Chanyeol. I know he's genuine." she gave an encouraging smile to her son.

Baekhyun doesn't answer for a while. Before silence completely takes over them, he suddenly talks.

"He's Shein's boyfriend."

Mrs. Byun's smile slightly fades off because of this. She's obviously shocked with the sudden connection.

"Oh...your cousin? I see...such a small world, isn't it?" she forced a smile.

"And I slept with him," Baekhyun casually adds, dismissing his mother's widening eyes, "couple of times."

"So he was the..."

"Yep." he immediately answered. He knows she's pertaining to the pictures last night.

"Oh..." his mother wasn't able to answer. Her eyes obviously tell how shocked she is with the revelations.

"Are you shocked?" he smiles a little, "or disgusted?"

"No. Of course not. Shocked, yes. But I accept that." she smiles again, "Besides, I know there's something beyond that."

"There isn't. We just had sex, that's all." he shrugged, looking at the floor.

When she didn't answer, he looks back at her. Her lips still curved to a smile.

"I know you did that for a reason, Baek. And you can tell me everything. I won't judge you."

He bites his lip. He looks at his hands before staring back at her.

"More than a year ago, I discovered Shein's having an affair in Japan. When I told her I'll tell Chanyeol about it, she called father. Then he did beat me up when he found me." he saw how his Mom's face becomes serious, "And when I started sleeping with Chanyeol behind her back, I realized that maybe I can use this to give her the karma she deserves. In short, we did it while she was doing it there as well." he blinks, trying to keep a straight face. His mother only watches him, listening.

"Pretty lame, isn't it? My stupid ass didn't realize everything's coming back at me the hard way. When she came back, she took everything she believes she owns. And I'm left alone, with my stupid ass self. Pretty sure she was also the one behind what happened last night because she just loves to see me suffering."

Mrs Byun gulps before talking.

"Well, do you love Chanyeol?"

Baekhyun frowns. He moves his mouth to automatically answer but she cuts him off.

"Darling, please. Don't dare lie to me. There's no point."

Baekhyun doesn't answer. His mother watches him, anticipating.

"Okay, maybe I did... But―"

"No buts." she says, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I've always seen that in Shein but I didn't know she's capable of doing something worse. But listen, Baekhyun. It's not your job to give her the karma she deserves. She'll get that eventually."

Baekhyun blinks a few times as he stares at her, she moves her chair closer to her son to hold his hand.

"Listen, darling." she firmly grips his hand, "Tell him. Tell him what you feel. Let go of all the fears that hold you back. You can never move on if you don't live in truth. If he rejects you then it's okay. You did your part.

"This is not your burden, Baekhyun. This is Shein's burden. You don't let her problems take over your life." she reaches for his hand, "Let go. Shein has nothing to hold against you now. She isn't worth it. She isn't worth all of this."

She beams. The one identical to his. Baekhyun drowns into deep thoughts before he eventually looks back at her with his genuine smile.  
  


  
x

"Can you hold this? I wanna try this on." she didn't wait for her friend's answer when she puts her coffee on her hand. She cockily grabs two dresses together before walking to the fitting room with her chin up. Her hand bag slings onto her arm.

Shein watches herself in the mirror, turning around to get a better look at her chosen dresses. Her face is smug as she confidently praises herself in her mind.

Her self-confidence moment was startled by the ringing of her phone. She looks at her screen before taking a deep breath, slightly rolling her eyes.

"What is it?"

She continues to eye herself in the mirror with her phone over her ear. She frowns with what the other person says from the other line.

"Babe. Why are you so impatient about this? I told you I'm coming back on Wednesday. I already asked Chanyeol about this and he agreed. I'll stay there a little longer so stop nagging me for now, okay?" she stops moving, her brows crossed.

"I do love you. Please...let's not fight over this." she says, pleading, but her eyerolls say otherwise. "I'm hanging up. Don't call me too often. I'll see you soon, bye."

She wears her clothes back so she can finally go out and pay for the dress. She looks above the door where she hanged her shirt but it wasn't there. She hears footsteps, making her look below the door only to see that her shirt fell outside, far for her to reach.

"Oh shit." she clicks her tongue in irritation.

"Sunhee? Is that you?" no one answered, but the footsteps get nearer her place. Still not enough for her to see, though.

"Sunhee-ah!" she groans in annoyance, "Tsk! Can you reach for my shirt?"

No one answered again but when she almost thought it's not her friend, someone hands her shirt above the door.

"Thanks! Why aren't you talking?" she shakes her head before putting it on. She grabs her bag before opening the door. Her smug smile fades off when she sees the one leaning on the wall in front of her.

"Talking to boyfriend number 2 are we?" Baekhyun grins, he purses his lips. "Wait. Was that boyfriend number 2, or Chanyeol is number 2? Wait, is there a third one?" he fakes a curious tone, still smirking. Shein clenches her jaw, her breathing gets frantic.

"I see you're still alive." she says coldly, "Though I must say, you look terrible. But atleast you're alive, aren't you?"

Baekhyun only smiles. Right then, he takes a big step forward and grips her cheeks tightly that she's crying out in pain.

"Fuck! Get off me!" she screams, yelping louder when her back harshly hits the wall.

Baekhyun grits his teeth, his hands shaking in anger.

"Yes, I'm still alive. You _fucking _psycho." she wails when his fingers dig tighter on her cheeks, "Does this hurt, huh? I wanna fucking kill you. After everything you've done, you deserve to die." he hissed closer to her face, making sure she sees the bruises on his face clearer.

When her eyes start tearing up, he finally loosens up his grip and lets her go. She almost falls on the floor, her knees shaking. She fearfully glances at the door, it's locked.

"But I'm not here for that." Baekhyun says, collecting himself to be calmer. "Even if you deserve every bad thing in the world, I'll let you leave this room without any marks on your skin. Without anything like this." Baekhyun points out the marks on him, all because of her.

"Then what?" she pants heavily, "what do you want from me?!"

"I'm sorry."

Shein creases her forehead. Her face flashes disbelief.

"What?" she hisses, "what the fuck did you just say?"

"I'm sorry. I really am." Baekhyun smiles genuinely, and Shein isn't liking it. The woman gets more frantic with the words she's currently hearing, "Soon, you'll know why. But I'm not the person to tell you. And I'm sorry again. Because I can't do this any longer." he shakes his head slowly.

She stares at him, heart thumping fast.

"I've been keeping your lies for so long, Shein. You can't lie to everyone forever." Baekhyun says before walking towards the door, leaving his cousin with her eyes widening.

"What do you mean by that, Baekhyun?!" she hysterically shouts, but Baekhyun paid no heed, "You can't fucking do this! Don't even dare!" she yells. It felt like deja vu. It felt like a familiar conversation they had a year ago.

The only difference is, Baekhyun isn't afraid of anything now. Now that Chanyeol is the first one to come into his mind.

"Whatever it is, for sure you deserve it." he glances at her one last time, from head to toe. "Just like your shirt right now, you're fucked." he grins before walking away, not missing out the look on her face when she looks down on her heavily stained shirt.


	21. 20-Home

"Chanyeol! Where are you?" the voice from the other line shakes terribly, "She's bleeding too much... We don't know what to do!" her sobs get more audible as she spoke.

"Listen. Call the ambulance quickly. Get a cloth or something to wrap around her wrist. Don't let the panic take over you! I'm on my way!" his voice raised in so much tension he feels. His heart is beating too fast against his chest. He doesn't know what he'll do if something happens to her.

What was wrong?

Chanyeol asks repeatedly inside his clouded mind. Why would Shein do such thing? Is she having a problem that he doesn't know? Is it that heavy to reach this extent of hurting herself?

She didn't come home when she only told him she'll go out shopping with her friends. When the night came and he received a text from her that she'll sleep in her family's house, Chanyeol didn't argue. He knows she casually spends the night wherever she wants so bad things didn't even come across his mind. Until this morning that her sister calls him, hysterically crying because Shein is in her tub, unconscious and arms covered with blood.  
  


"She has 4 cuts on her right wrist and 2 on the left. But they weren't deep enough to reach her carpal veins. Good thing you found her before she lost too much blood. I'll give the prescription for her meds and wound remedies, but I suggest, you talk to her more."

Shein's sister smiles at the doctor. He bows before leaving, but Chanyeol remains leaning on the wall, arms crossed over his chest. His serious gaze is directed on the floor.

"Chanyeol..." the worry comes back to her voice, "what happened? What's wrong with her?" she asks desperately. Chanyeol only glances at her before his gaze falls on the tiles again.

"Did you two fight again?"

Chanyeol slowly shakes his head, but quick enough to answer her question. Marge decides to let it go when Chanyeol's obviously equally confused as they are.

"Mom's coming. I'll just go check on Shein. If she's awake, go talk to her Chanyeol. I know you're the only one she wants to see right now." she pats his arm before walking away. Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh of frustration. He doesn't know why terrible things are happening recently. He tries so hard to stop blaming himself again.

But he can't help it, thinking that he's been prioritizing other things recently that he wasn't able to notice that Shein has been feeling this way.

"Chanyeol...what was she thinking?" Shein's mother bursts into tears as soon as he got closer. Once again, Chanyeol wasn't able to say anything. It's like he's tongue-tied. All he can do is hug her back when she starts shedding tears of concern.

"I feel so bad... How can I not notice she's been feeling this way recently?" she adds, wiping the side of her eyes.

Chanyeol gulps because of this. He took a deep breath before facing her.

"I'm sorry... she's staying with me so she's my responsibility. I should've known. It's my fault, Ma'am..." he muttered, avoiding her gaze and everyone else's.

Shein's mother only looks at him. She doesn't say anything that made Chanyeol feel worse. Her gentle pats on his arm didn't even make him feel a little better.

"Auntie, she's awake." one of her cousins said.

She eagerly faces Chanyeol, reaching for both his hands.

"Talk to her, Chanyeol..." she pleads, "I know you're the only one she'll tell about everything. Please...make her feel better. I'm begging. If she asks anything, do it, please..."

Chanyeol reluctantly steps toward the door. He exhaled a deep breath before nodding.

Silence takes over when he completely shuts the door close. He slowly turns around to see her.

Shein weakly lies on the hospital bed, her usual radiant color is gone. Her eyes are closed but as soon as Chanyeol gets nearer, she slowly opens them both.

"Chanyeol..." she flashed a weak smile, in which Chanyeol doesn't return. He stared at her seriously.

"What happened?" he asks, worry evident in his voice. "Why did you do that?"

Instead of answering, she only smiles. She struggles as she sits up on her bed, showing off every pain through her expression.

"Love..." she only says. Her exhausted smile looks like she doesn't want to talk about it.

"I'm serious, Shein." Chanyeol sits on the edge of the bed, staring seriously at her, "You can't just kill yourself for whatever it is that bothers you. That's why I'm here. You know you can tell me anything. You can trust me about anything." he continuously says.

A glint of pain reflected in her eyes as she stares back at him. She lets out a deep breath when she looks away, blinking her eyes to keep them dry.

"It's just that..." she bit her lip before continuing, "I'm just so pressured by so many things. My family, my job, you... I didn't think I can still handle it." her eyes tightly closed when she finally breaks down.

Chanyeol's expression softens. He holds her hand tight with his own.

"I don't understand... You have your dream job. Your family loves you so much and it's obvious. And me? I don't see why you have to be pressured about us."

She sniffs, her eyes pooled with tears are staring on their intertwined hands.

"I feel like they're making me feel that it's my fault, whatever happened to Baekhyun weeks ago, because I'm the only one who's close to my uncle. Just because we aren't in good terms, doesn't mean I can do such thing. Right, Chanyeol?"

Chanyeol wasn't able to answer. His mind goes complicated again when this topic was brought up.

He can't. He couldn't think that Shein's capable of doing it.

Or at least he doesn't want to think about it.

"And things have been tough at my job. Insecure people try to pull me down by saying obnoxious things." she sobs, "they've been spreading rumors about me having an affair with my boss. You know Joohyuk was just a college friend. I explained that to you before, didn't I? Listen, whatever you hear about me, Chanyeol, it's not true."

Chanyeol creases his brows. His gaze stared into space while too many thoughts run inside his mind.

"You won't believe them Chanyeol... right?" she asks again, looking directly at him to wake him up from his thoughts.

"I..." Chanyeol cussed inside when he unconsciously stutters, "I won't."

Shein's consternated face broke into a smile once again.

She wraps her arms around him to hug him tight, muffling words of relief against his chest. But the other remains staring blankly on the floor, absentmindedly hugging her back.

"Let's get married, Chanyeol." she suddenly says, pulling away to say it seriously, "I want to settle down already... I want to resign and leave that place to stay with you for good..." her pleading eyes are directed at Chanyeol, who's dumbfounded.

"Marriage?" Chanyeol repeated, asking if he heard it right.

"Yes. With you. I don't know how I'll cope up with all of this without you here with me." she says. Chanyeol opens his mouth to talk but no words came out, "You asked me about this a long time ago, right? And now I'm ready. I want to marry you, Chanyeol. That's the only thing I want to do."

He's still stunned.

Marriage?

Does this certain word exist in his mind right now? Is he ready for this?

Does he really want it?

"Love..." she held his face and tilts it to face her, "tell me you want this too. Say something." she asks desperately.

Chanyeol looks directly at her eyes, trying to find something he needs to see.

"Whenever you're..." he gulps, looking away as he forced a smile, "whenever you're ready...love." his chest felt heavy when he didn't see it.

He feels a quick peck on his lips. Her wide smile opposes the condition she had just a moment ago. She's back to her usual vibe.

Did he just got engaged?  
  
  


"Have you heard?" Mrs Byun becomes serious as she sits in front of her son. She looks around the restaurant before facing him to continue, "what happened to Shein?"

"No." Baekhyun shakes his head, internally rolling his eyes with the mention of her name but curiosity builds up in him as well. "Why? What happened?" Baekhyun actually wishes that she finally came to her senses and that's what happened to her.

"She tried to kill herself. Yumi called me last night, she told me your cousin tried to cut her wrists." Mrs Byun answers. Baekhyun didn't say anything, although his expression doesn't change.

Seriously, he isn't shocked.

Shein and her ways.

"Oh," the side of his lips curved, "Is she dead?"

Mrs Byun throws him a glare, as if scolding his mean words.

"Mom. Seriously. Didn't you expect this from Shein? If she actually wanted to kill herself, then she could've jumped off the rooftop or drink a poison, or at least just call me instead." she sighs but the look on her face made Baekhyun act more serious. "Mom. What I'm trying to say is... Shein can go beyond limits when it comes to her plans. That's how cunning she is, and I know it well. Pretty sure she acted upon what I told her so all of this happens now." he sips on his drink.

"Fine." she leans on her chair, "How about your job, then? When are you planning to come back? Do you still want to come back?"

Baekhyun avoids her gaze. He only bites on his straw while he scans the people going in and out of the restaurant.

"Baekhyun. You don't have to go back. You've worked too long there. And besides, just go―"

"Mom, please. I'm staying here. I told you." he cuts her off, not letting her go over the same topic again. "Give me a few more days to decide. I'll go to the office just then."

Mrs Byun narrows her eyes.

"How about Chanyeol? Have you already talked to him?"  
  


  
x

Chanyeol cusses repeatedly. As if this day couldn't get worse, his proposal wasn't approved by the bosses. He understands that he's been distracted these past few days and it reflected on his work. Hearing their criticisms didn't make it any better.

"Fucking shit." he throws the papers on his desk before completely leaning on his chair.

He glares at his messed up table. He can't help looking at the cubicle beside him that has been empty for so many weeks now.

_Just... when are you coming back?_

Chanyeol feels tired. He's down and on the ground recently and nothing seems to pull him up and make him feel better. It's like he lost something in him and he just wakes up everyday feeling nothing.

"Baekhyun was here a while ago."

"Really? Is he coming back? What's he like?"

"I don't know, he just went inside the manager's office then left. He still has some marks but he looks good like how?"

He turns around to see two girls gossiping near his cubicle. The certain name made him turn to the cubicle on his right again.

He doesn't realize how tensed he was on his seat until his phone beeps.

_From: Sehun_

_Hyung, can we meet? We need to talk._

His heart felt uneasy. It's the first time Sehun approached him and the younger even wants them to talk.

He replies and asks him why. But all he got is an address, and the word 'tonight'.

He just hopes that this is about fixing things between them. If this is about Baekhyun again, then goddamn.  
  
  


"Jaewon, how is it?" he puts his coat over his shoulders as he opens the door of his car. Jaewon is barely audible from where he is. Chanyeol wanted to shake his head.

_"Hey, dude! Sorry it was noisy inside!"_ he apologizes, obviously going out from where he was to hear Chanyeol better. _"What is it again?"_

"Did you buy what I told you?" when he glances at his rear view mirror, he caught the frown on his face. He doesn't know how long has it been there.

He sighs and tries to relax himself.

_"Oh, yeah. I'm not sure if you'll like the design though." _he reluctantly answers.

"It will do. Just make sure it's the correct size." he exhaustedly says, closing his eyes to rest.

_"What the hell, Chanyeol? Are you actually sure about this?" _Chanyeol opens his eyes when he hears him nagging again, _"You think marrying her is the best choice, dude?"_

"What?" Chanyeol snaps in irritation, "I'm in the right age. She is too. We already talked about this."

_"It's not that! You can't even buy her a ring yourself. You'll propose to her out of the blue in Japan after she left a week ago. Like what the fuck, you ask me to be convinced how bad you really want this?"_

"Obviously, I've wanted this ever since and you should be the one to know that because you witnessed that!" Chanyeol yells. And he doesn't know why he's yelling suddenly.

_"And I don't feel that anymore, Chanyeol. I don't see it in you anymore so why ar―"_ he drops the call even before his friend finishes his sentence. He's so tired and worn out so the last thing he wants is his friend lecturing him about things when he doesn't know anything about this either.

He makes sure he's calmed before he steps on the gas. He drove his way to the place he needs to go even though he doesn't have the slightest idea about the specific time Sehun wants to meet him. He said tonight, and that's it.

When he reached the place, he realized how familiar it is to him.

_Eclipse._

He looks around Han River and he realizes that the address was specifically that place as well.

But why here?

No one was there. There are some people walking around but they're too far from where he is. He feels a little confused but he decides to walk to the nearest bench to sit.

Chanyeol stays on his seat for a couple of minutes. The cold breeze of air made him clutch his coat tighter. He looks above and the moon is just directly above him, it looks normal as ever but it's somehow nostalgic.

He doesn't know how long he's been watching it with his head tilted above. He's been watching the one he once said was, 'ordinary and the same'. He smiles at the thought.

He can't believe even the moon can make him remember a certain one. Why can't it stay ordinary and the same?

Chanyeol roams his gaze around after almost an hour. He checks his watch and sighs when he thinks about Sehun. Maybe the younger came earlier or decided to back out. Either way, at least he got time to breathe for a while.

He stands up from his seat. His hands are on his pocket as he starts walking away to go home.

"Wait!"

The voice makes him stop on his tracks. Although his gaze remains glued on the ground. He didn't even dare turn to look.

"S-Sorry... I was late."

Chanyeol eventually turns around. His eyes caught the same familiar pair, bringing him the emotions he's been craving for a while now.

"S-Sorry. I...ran. So...wait can I breathe first? Hah..." the smaller puts his hands over his knees as he exhales deep breaths. Chanyeol only watches him, still puzzled.

"Where's Sehun?" he asks. Baekhyun sheepishly scratches his head.

"Oh uhm... well, I think...maybe he's not coming?" he looks around, but Chanyeol stares at him seriously, making him sigh in defeat. "I only told him to ask you to come."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Chanyeol's forehead creased, "Why didn't you just tell me directly, Baekhyun?" he repeats.

Baekhyun doesn't answer immediately. Especially after seeing that Chanyeol isn't up for games. He then flashes a soft smile.

"Do I have the right?"

Chanyeol pants heavily. His cold hands are balled into fists inside his pocket and he doesn't know why.

"What do you want to tell me?"

"Chanyeol."

His heart pumps faster inside his chest. He feels angry. How can a simple slip of his name from his tongue make him feel this way?

"Promise me..." Baekhyun gulps, "Promise me, you'll just listen to me. That you'll hear me out first."

His words echoed in Chanyeol's mind like a mantra. He doesn't understand where this nervousness came from.

"What is this about?" Chanyeol can't help but ask. Baekhyun seriously stares at him so he sighed, "Fine. I promise."

Baekhyun stays silent for a moment. Chanyeol watches him intently as he struggles to find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry. For everything."

He starts off. Chanyeol's jaw hardens just with the few words.

"Every mean thing I've said recently..." Baekhyun continues, "I didn't mean it."

"Stop." Chanyeol says when his breathing starts to hitch, he looks away. "Why are you telling me this―"

"I don't mean any of it, Chanyeol."

They stare at one another, reading each other's eyes.

"And Shein..." Chanyeol looks at him with this, but it's no time to fear. "She's not what she seems to be. She's fooling everyone. She's fooling you."

Chanyeol shakes his head. He doesn't understand what this has to do with her.

"I know it's hard to believe, you've known her for so many years. And..." he pauses, "And you've loved her ever since. But time doesn't make you know a person completely, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol is in awe. He's having a hard time processing every information, and whether what to believe.

He feels like he's being played at. With all these alternate truths. He feels so stupid for not having a single idea about what's really going on.

"I tried. I tried so hard to keep all of this because I don't want to ruin your relationship." he smiles, but it isn't a happy one. "But I can't do this anymore, Yeol. I'm not only trying to save myself here. I want to save you. I'm saving you as well..." the last part was barely audible, but the silence made it clear to Chanyeol.

"I'm tired of all of this, Baekhyun. Please..." he wipes his face in frustration, "Don't...do this to me. You're making me so confused and I've been feeling lost already!"

He grins. But it's a forced one.

"I'm tired too, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol breathes heavily. His face is already unreadable. Why can't he make a decision without getting bothered? Why can't he just know what to believe?

"Tell me what exactly do you mean!" his voice raises, "I shouldn't believe you! Shein's my girlfriend and we ended whatever it is between us so I shouldn't bother listening. But why the fuck are you making me so torn? Why can't I just stop thinking about everything you say?!" his voice breaks, "I don't know what to believe anymore, Baekhyun!"

"And you think I'm not?" Baekhyun bursts out, his eyes glistening. "You think I'm not torn, Chanyeol? I could've ran away! I could've just leave everything behind and let you figure it out by yourself but I can't do it! I can't move on if I don't do this, and neither can you!"

Chanyeol couldn't find the words to answer. He remains staring at the other in front of him, and Baekhyun does the same.

"She's fooling you. And that's the truth."

Chanyeol shakes his head. He's already decided, and he shouldn't let anyone change it again.

For once, he wants his life to go according to his will.

"I'm not hearing this anymore..." he says before turning around to walk away.

"I wasn't lying, Chanyeol." this made him stop, he felt his heart getting heavier. "That night. I wasn't lying."

He shakes his head. He doesn't want to hear any of this. He knows where this is going.

"Please, Baek..." he muttered under his breath.

"I told you what you need to hear. I've done my part. It's your choice, Chanyeol." he gulps but he keeps smiling even when Chanyeol's back faces him. "I hope you'll be happy whatever your choice is. But I can't take this anymore. I can't keep it in myself."

_Say it, Baekhyun. Whatever he answers, at least you said it._

"When I told you I was falling for you," he bites his lip, collecting all his courage. "I meant it. It's true."

Chanyeol froze on his spot. He wasn't able to say anything, nor move.

_Goddammit, Chanyeol. _He cussed himself.

When the taller doesn't respond, Baekhyun takes it lightly, keeping his smile etched on his face as he manages to end the talk.

"I wish you all the best, Yeol." he walks away.

Right when Chanyeol came to his senses, he's gone. His eyes glistened while the cold wind blows harder. Chanyeol clenched his jaw to keep himself from breaking down.

_Don't go._

  
  
x  
  
  


"Hey." he calls the staff cleaning the cubicle beside him, "What's going on? Why are you cleaning this up?" he asks in confusion. The cleaning staff bows at him.

"Mr Choi will move here, Sir."

Chanyeol creases his brows. What is that suppose to mean?

"Minho?" out of the blue, his fellow employee walks nearer. "You're moving here?"

"Oh yeah," he grins, "nice neighbor you got, right?" he cockily said.

"But..." Chanyeol gulps, "how about Baekhyun?"

The other raised both his brows.

"He just submitted his resignation letter this morning."

Chanyeol blinks in surprise. He wasn't able to say anything until he feels a pat on his shoulders. He forces a smile and pretends he's all good.

He can't help but look at the cubicle one last time, his chest hurting.  
  
  
  


"Mr Byun?"

Baekhyun bows in courtesy.

"Just call me Baekhyun, Sir." he smiles. The old man nods.

"You did great. Take your break now, pantry is at the 4th floor." he smiles and thanks him for the direction. But he isn't hungry. All he wants is to roam around the building and maybe catch some air.

Personally, he thinks it's a good decision for him to resign from his previous company. Even if he had to stop his growing number of years and start from scratch again, it's worth it. He can't just stay there. That place holds too many memories, both good and bad ones.

He can't see Chanyeol everywhere, everyday. It won't help him at all.

Out of walking from random directions and stairs, he reaches the rooftop. He smiles to himself. The rooftop here seems lower than the other buildings, though it's cozier anyway.

Keeping his hands warm in his pockets, he deeply exhales cold air from his mouth. Right as he gets nearer the deck, he notices something.

A gigantic lightbulb makes him narrow his eyes in too much brightness. Glowing colors of blue and white emits from a big symbol of the rooftop.

"Wow..." was all he can utter. He can't even look at it without blinding himself. But nevertheless, it looks majestic.

His big smile of amusement fades off when he realizes something.

He immediately turns around, gulping as he tries to spot a familiar building. From the far distant he can recognize a tall tower. He instantly feels the familiarity.

He knows it. He recognizes it, even from miles away. His heart is floating.

He looks back at the beacon behind him. And enduring the blinding light, he steps nearer.

The carved words on a metal tomb in front of it caught his interest.

_ **To my light, my guardian, my home.** _

"Excuse me Sir?" a man who seems to be a security official walks toward him, "Can I help you?"

"Oh sorry." Baekhyun bows to apologize, "Are employees not allowed here? I'll leave instantly."

"Oh, it's okay Sir. I just thought you're lost or something. Sorry for bothering you."

"Wait!" Baekhyun stops him, "Can I ask you something?"

The guard looks at him, puzzled. Though he stays in front of the curious employee.

"Can you...tell me something about this?" he sheepishly points at the beacon.

"Ah..." the man nods as he understood, "It's built for the Chairman's late wife. It symbolizes her the most, according to him."

Baekhyun's heart flutters. He can imagine how much he must loved her by building the brightest thing in the city.

"How long has it been here?"

"Ever since this building was built." he smiles as he glances at the bright beacon, "I've been here ever since and I never saw this go dull. Every month he makes sure it goes under maintenance, even if he's already retired."

Baekhyun's mouth is slightly opened in so much awe. Both of them watch the bright blue lights, admiring it so much.

"He said, he built this to guide the ones who are lost. Show them the way. Just like what his wife did to him."

Baekhyun wasn't able to answer. He stares in space, thoughts running in his mind.

"I'll go ahead, Sir. Take care." the old man bows at him, warmly smiling. Baekhyun bows back.

He continues to walk to the deck, his gaze directed once again to the building from far away.

Maybe, he's brought here by fate because he wants to stop being lost. And he wishes the same for that person.

Chanyeol on the other hand, stood on a certain rooftop, his mind and heart are in chaos. Tomorrow, he'll do it. But he can't keep himself at ease.

Looking at the far distant, he managed to smile because he spotted his favorite tower. Only this time, it seems to shine brighter.  
  


  
  
x  
  


His backpack, his passport, and a calling card are the only objects with him. He roams his eyes around the crowded place, feeling lost.

This is the time where Chanyeol thanks heavens that he studied basic Japanese. At least he can go from place to place without getting lost or troubled.

He's not ready. Everything's out of the blue. All he thinks is that, deciding in this instant may help him hold onto his decisions firmly. But all he can do is hope for the best, that he actually wouldn't mess this up. That everything here will turn out fine just as he planned to.

Even if he isn't really happy about it.

"Excuse me?" he politely asked the front desk where his girlfriend's office is said to be located. He had a little difficulty in language but he managed to finish the conversation properly without saying anything dumb.

He was told that Shein went home more than an hour ago. Chanyeol had no choice but to take a cab to her place. He almost got lost because of the tall towers of Tokyo, but he successfully found it. Hopping off the car, he sighs. And staring at the tall building in front of him, he plans his lines in his mind.

"You can do this. Chanyeol." he exhaled, trying to remove thoughts that should not be in his mind anymore.

_"Please."_

He stopped on his tracks, his balled fist froze in the air when he heard his girlfriend's voice.

_"What?! That's how easy it is for you?" _his heart thumped faster when he heard another voice, a man's voice. _"I waited for you! You told me stay patient because you'll go back there to tell him you're choosing me and now?!"_

Chanyeol's expression remains blank. His hands fall on his side, his breath hitches.

_"You told me you love me! What the fuck is wrong with you, Shein?! We stay under the same roof, we make love and now you're telling me to calm down because you're marrying another man?!"_

_"I did, Joohyuk! I loved you but Chanyeol... he's―"_

The moment the door blasted open, Shein wasn't able to finish her sentence. Especially when she gasped in horror and shock.

Chanyeol clenches his jaw. His fist balled tightly and both are shaking too much. But his eyes remain cold.

"Chanyeol..."

Chanyeol chuckles sarcastically. His eyes are glassy but his tears won't fall. As if they know the person isn't worth crying for.

"Is this him?" Joohyuk's reaction looks exactly the same as him, the difference are his eyes. They're both bloodshot.

"C-Chanyeol...wait..." she shakes her head but Chanyeol had enough. He had enough shit.

Instead of punching the other man, the other man whom his girlfriend has been having an affair with, he turns away and walks outside. His heart is full of hatred, anger, exhaustion and regret. He chose not to hurt them because only one thing came into his mind when the truth was revealed.

"Chanyeol! Wait! P-Please..." she runs after him, grabbing his arm as she pleads. "Please...love―"

"Don't. fucking. touch. me." he hissed, harshly removing her hands away from him.

She sobs hysterically.

"Chanyeol! Please!" she tries to hug him, but Chanyeol feels disgusted. His breathing gets heavier. He harshly pushes her away, making her fell on the ground.

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME YOU―!" his eyes are in flames, his teeth are hardly gritted.

"I'm sorry... I am... I-I love you, Chanyeol. Please..." she tries to wrap her arms around his leg to stop him from leaving. Her tears are flowing nonstop as she begs.

Chanyeol coldly looks at her. His hands harshly untangles her fingers from his leg. She shakes her head frantically, begging him to listen.

He grabs her arms tightly, making her yelp. Chanyeol leans down to look at her directly in the eyes. He harshly held her face.

"I've been through hell, Shein. For you. I let _him _go, because of you." he whispered through gritted teeth. His wrath is evident in his voice, his fingers dig deeper on her face.

"I hate you. I never want to see you again. Don't dare show your face in front of me, you understand?" he lets her face go, giving her one last glance before walking away. He completely went deaf for her pleads. For her cries.

Chanyeol wasted no time. He went straight to the airport and booked the next possible flight back home.

When he sat on the empty waiting area, all the emotions he's been keeping in for so long just combined and completely made him break down. His heavy panting and sobs made the people around him look at him. But he couldn't care less. He can't keep it in anymore.

The sound of his silent cry in the middle of the night can hurt anyone who hears him.

Chanyeol just wants to go back home. He wants to go back to the only one that made him feel home.

He hasn't been home for so long.  
  



	22. 21-Take Me Back

"_So... it's final? You're actually sure about this?" Jaewon tried to keep his tone less nosy. But he couldn't help it, even though he suggested this subtly, he wasn't expecting Chanyeol to actually come up with this decision._

_"Yes." he said, "it's better off this way."_

_"But Chanyeol," he paused, "you shouldn't go blaming only yourself for everything."_

_"I'm not." he denied, but he gulped before continuing. "But this is the only right thing to do. I don't want the mess to get bigger. They're still a family. I don't have any right to completely ruin that."_

_His friend wasn't able to answer immediately. Silence took over._

_"How do you think she'll react?" he asked quietly, "You'll suddenly ask her for a break when she's obviously expecting a proposal. She'll go mad, Chanyeol..." his voice had a trace of warning as they both try to visualize the possibility._

_He felt his chest heaving because of this._

_But Chanyeol didn't budge._

_"So be it." he said with finality, "I don't want to completely commit myself into this matter when I'm clearly not...sure of her anymore. Of everything." he said._

His words. His own words flash in his mind like a whirlwind. Maybe that was it. He wants to chuckle at his own misfortune.

As soon as he opens his phone the moment the plane landed at Incheon, messages start bombarding his inbox. Chanyeol only stares at the screen, not even daring to open even a single text.

When his phone rings, he was able to at least wake up from his deep thoughts. He gulps, his mouth completely dry because he was awake the whole flight without talking to anyone. Not even to those who asked if he was fine.

_"Dude, what the hell!"_

Chanyeol exhaustedly walks toward the exit to go to the parking lot where he left his car just a few hours ago. An unknown twitch was felt inside his chest just by looking at his car, he doesn't know why. It was almost dawn.

_"Have you heard? Baek's... father. He was arrested last night." _he tells continuously, not noticing how Chanyeol remains silent. _"And Sehun told me, he admitted that Shein was really the one who told him about Baekhyun's whereabouts... Uhm, are you with her right now? Sorry, bro. I just thought you have to know..." _he apologized, probably thinking that Chanyeol is still in Japan, enjoying a night with Shein.

Chanyeol doesn't answer. He only listens to the words Jaewon says. He didn't even realize that he's already seated on the driver's seat, his hand rested on the wheel.

_"Chanyeol?"_

Chanyeol laughs. Although his laugh sounds so forced and agonizing.

_"Dude..." _Jaewon sounds so worried, he doesn't even know what to say now that Chanyeol is obviously not okay. _"What happened? Where are you? You're scaring us...you weren't answering your phone and now? C'mon man, what's up?"_

"Shein." his laugh turns into a mocking smile, as if mocking himself. "Turns out she was having an affair ever since. That night some random guy answered her phone and told me things, I should've known...how stupid am I?" he bites his lip while he slowly shakes his head, "Really... so _fucking _stupid..."

_"Chanyeol..." _Jaewon mutters when all he can hear now is Chanyeol's breathing. _"Where are you right now? We'll pick you up. Are you still in Japan?"_

"I'm sorry..." he says, "I should've listened. I-I'm...sorry." he closed his eyes tightly, preventing another breakdown.

"Maybe this is my karma."

_"Don't say that!" _his friend says, _"You know this isn't your fault, Chanyeol. Did you forget why you went there in the first place? To ask her for a break! To distance yourself from both Shein and Baekhyun because you want to stop the mess from getting bigger. Take this as a blessing in disguise, dude. At least you finally found out the truth..."_

"But I cheated on her too, right? I probably deserve all this shit..." he harshly wipes off the hot liquid from his eyes.

_"You were guilty so you acted upon your mistakes, Chanyeol. I know this doesn't seem to come from me but you're a human. You make mistakes but what matters is how you deal with it."_

Chanyeol shakes his head, he completely breaks down into crying again. It is just so fucked up. Everything is frustrating.

"Y-You don't understand, dude...it's just..." his sobs are harder because of the more private place he is in, "I should've believed him. I should've doubted her from the s-start but I didn't. Now I don't...I don't know how I'll face him anymore."

_"Chanyeol, for the nth time, listen to me." _Jaewon chuckles but his tone has nothing but seriousness in it, unlike his typical self. _"I get you. Whatever the fuck it is between you and Baekhyun, I've always seen that. And I don't blame you for siding with Shein those times. It's because you're clueless, dude! You've known her for years! Unlike many of the people around you, including Baekhyun. Shein was your ideal. You thought you knew her and I don't blame you for that. So if she ends up fucking everything up and proving you wrong then it's her fault not yours."_

Chanyeol continues to struggle breathing. He shakes his head as he feels his heart twisting in pain, because it's all true. It hurts him that everything he hears right now is damn accurate.

Chanyeol finds it hard to accept everything.

Keeping their romantic relationship aside, she was his bestfriend. She was the friend he knew from 8th grade. Her smile had always made him feel better. And even if he doesn't love her that way anymore, Chanyeol knows she has her own special place in his heart, that even telling her that he wants a break hurt him so much and didn't let him sleep for days.

And now he's betrayed.

Of all people, she was the one who betrayed him. She has been betraying him from the start. Everything was an act.

_"This is why I wasn't fully supporting your decision, dude." _Jaewon says after letting Chanyeol cry his heart out and only listening to him, _"Breaking up with her was right. But distancing yourself from your own happiness is just so wrong." _his friend says. Chanyeol leans exhaustedly on his seat. His eyes and heart, everything in him is tired.

_"Go home." _he adds, hearing his pal's faint sniffs._ "Go home already."_

Chanyeol collects himself, wiping his face before nodding.

"I am." he manages to smile, "Thanks, bro. I'm going home."

x

"You should just stay here, it's late dear."

Baekhyun sits on the edge of her large bed. Even after being here for the second time, he still can't help but gaze around the elegant design of her room.

"Eomma, since when did you have the master's bedroom redesigned?" he asks without removing his gaze at the rose gold ceiling.

"Ages ago. Since I figured out that your father doesn't have the slightest chance of sleeping here anymore." she shrugs, pouring her night skin remedies while watching her son. "You should've just stayed here while they're interrogating him. I know that seeing him brings a lot of unwanted memories to you that's why I insisted on going alone."

"Eh. I've been here for days and I don't want to be left alone in this big house. That's why I should've gone home yesterday, the land lord must be fuming mad at me now." he cringed.

His mom smiles at him before patting the space right beside her. Baekhyun smiles as he jumps on the soft bed, hugging her tight like a little kid.

They remain in the same position for a while. He likes to hug his mother so much.

"Just live here Baekhyun-ah. Live with your Mom..." she muttered while she ruffles his hair.

Baekhyun smiles bigger as if she could see his face.

"I know you're scared..." Baekhyun says in a low voice, "That you might not be able to protect me if we're not together. But don't worry too much, Mom. I'm gonna be fine." he said, assuring her.

"But..." she responds, "you won't have to pay for rent anymore...plus, you're alone there so it's better if we live under the same roof." she sighs when Baekhyun tilts his head up to gaze at her, "What if your cousin tries to mess with you again? I'm afraid about the things she's capable of after confirming what she did to you."

"She won't. Don't worry." Baekhyun forces a smile against her clothes, "Shein won't do anything as long as she's satisfied and she gets what she wants. And right now? She's probably having the time of her life far away so don't worry Eomma." he mumbled, trying to keep his voice casual.

His mother's expression is still obviously worried. Her arms wrap tighter around Baekhyun's shoulder.

"Even so. I just hope she stays there for good. I don't know what I'll do to her if I see her." Baekhyun only chuckles at this, his mother tries to relax eventually. "Stay here, dear."

"But―"

"Sleep now. It's almost midnight..." she sleepily mumbled. Baekhyun sighs in defeat, waiting for her to fall asleep. But he falls asleep too in the process of it.

Baekhyun carefully steps his way inside the apartment halls. He cringes everytime he accidentally makes a little noise. The last thing he wants is to have himself caught by the landlord and get scolded.

His eyes are still a little puffy after getting a small nap at his mother's house. Good thing she was in deep slumber when he left because she wouldn't have agreed on it. He feels the strong urge to go home already. Each day, his mom gets more and more protective. And he understands where she's coming from, but he doesn't want it. He can deal with this by himself. He already did.

Baekhyun turns to the last hall where his room is when his phone beeps, containing a new message from Jaewon.

His forehead crease in confusion. Why would the other text him randomly in such hour?

Right before he could even read his text, his eyes catch someone in front of his door meters away from where he stopped. He blinks a few times, heart racing into irregular beats when he recognizes him.

He only stood there, watching how the figure sits hopelessly in front of his apartment. It's Chanyeol.

He takes deep breaths, realizing that he has no other choice aside from stepping closer or completely walking away. And he's not gonna do the latter one. He's done running away.

He opens his mouth, trying to say something but ends up pursing it close again. As if on cue, Chanyeol tilts his head to his way, eyes meeting his.

"Yeol?"

As if the name itself hyped him up, the taller instantly stands up from the floor. He gulps as he finally sees the person he's been looking for, for a few hours now. His string of hope was answered.

_"That boy isn't here for days now. I don't know when he's coming back since he got a lot of stuff with him last time." _Chanyeol recalls the exact words of the old man that owns the building. He thought Baekhyun also left this place like what he did to his job. He thought he completely left. He was even more conflicted.

"How long have you been...wait―why are you―?" he stutters, especially with Chanyeol only looking at him like that. He blinks a few times before looking down on his phone, eventually reading Jaewon's message.

_Can you contact Chanyeol? He might listen to you. He's not really okay and we can't find him._

He looks up to Chanyeol again, the silence makes him tremble a little bit. Why is he here right now? Baekhyun thought about their last conversation weeks ago.

"Why are you here? It's almost 3 Chanyeol." he quietly said, trying to keep his eyes directed at him to make him look casual. But Chanyeol's intense gaze made him lose too.

Chanyeol can't talk. It's like his tongue is tied or something. Everything he wants to say, everything he's been keeping in for so long just revolves around the tip of his tongue.

Baekhyun is just like that. Making him speechless and all. Always has been. And right now is the proof.

"Are you okay?" he means it. Even if everything between them didn't end up nicely, he has an idea about what might be happening.

Chanyeol forces a smile, glancing on his hand instead as he answers.

"I... found out about Shein. That she was really having an affair. I just came from Japan only to see if for myself."

"Oh..." Baekhyun's grip on his bag tightens with the unknown pang inside him, "So...you figured out I was right?"

They stare at each other. Baekhyun slowly nods his head as if he understands.

"I guess you're here to thank me. Then you're welcome, Chanyeol." he smiled. He walks past the taller towards his door. Chanyeol froze on his spot.

Baekhyun weakly puts his bag on the floor, as if all his energy was drained with the very few words exchanged. He stood behind his door, keeping his same casual smile flashed.

"You didn't have to come here though...you could've just texted me or something. I didn't change my number, don't worry." he chuckles, "Let's talk some other time. I-I'm sure you're tired. We both are, so go home." he said before closing the door in front of Chanyeol's face.

No. Chanyeol shakes his head. He didn't come here to go mute and hear this shit.

Baekhyun stays holding onto the knob. His head rests on the door, cussing himself. _He's here because of Shein. Like before. So go to sleep, Baek._

Baekhyun swallows the lump in his throat. It hurts so much.

He tries to peak through his peephole to confirm that Chanyeol left. But his figure is still in front of his door, on the very same position he left him. Baekhyun sighs heavily, his emotions taking over him as he opens the door again.

"I said go home Chanyeol, please! They're all worried about you. Why are you still here? Go home!" his voice raised in irritation. But his glistening eyes and heaving chest say otherwise.

Chanyeol doesn't budge.

"Can you listen to me first?"

"What? What is it? Say it!"

"I'm already here." he steps forward, completely closing the space between them. "I came home." he whispered through his breath before cupping his cheeks to chase his lips.

The door swings open behind them, Baekhyun completely lost his grip on the knob. His petite body is almost falling from Chanyeol's hungry kisses. The taller's long arm wraps around his waist, keeping him from falling down.

The same wrongdoing is happening again. He responds to his kisses. He lets him take over him again, his lips, his system, his sanity. Everything is wrong especially the fact that it feels so right as well.

"Chanyeol..." Baekhyun breathed when the other lets go of his lips for a while to let him breathe. His low groan made him think he's still resisting. Chanyeol goes back to his lips, letting his tongue enter into a swift motion to shut him up. Baekhyun's drunk gaze can't help falling on the open door, chest hammering with the thought of someone seeing them in this state.

"W-Wait...the door..." he breathed against Chanyeol's lips, gaining him an annoyed look. "close the door..."

"It's midnight."

"Please..."

Chanyeol sighs in defeat when he pleads, turning around to quickly walk to the door and close it. Baekhyun's fingers continue to tremble as they travel to his own buttons, undoing them with his slender hand while he watches Chanyeol do his request. Chanyeol doesn't even bother showing some patience. He slides off from his shirt as he slams the door close. He throws his shirt somewhere, eyes full of desire as he walks in big steps back to the brunette.

Baekhyun looks up to him, eyes shining in glaze. Chanyeol cups his face, his heart twitching.

"Look at me." Chanyeol commands when Baekhyun avoids his gaze again, afraid of being read when he's being transparent.

"Kiss me." Baekhyun says instead, lips sensually traveling to Chanyeol's cheek and jaw. "Kiss me again..."

"No. Come on Baek, _please..._" he begs. The man obviously knows his weakness. And here he is, once again using it to run away from everything.

"I'll do it instead." Baekhyun breathes when he insisted on making him look at his eyes. He lowers himself to kiss Chanyeol down from his neck to his bare torso. Chanyeol growls in frustration.

"You want me here, _hmn?_ Down here, right Chanyeol?" he asks, trying to keep his voice straight. He quickly unbuckles Chanyeol's belt and pulls his zipper down. While he kisses his happy trail, the lump in his throat gets bigger. "I'll m-make you feel good. Like before..." he can't keep his voice from breaking now, the tears he was preventing to fall already streamed down to his cheeks.

Chanyeol pulls him up to stand. Baekhyun weakly sits over the table behind him, his face scrunching as he sobs. Chanyeol gulps with this sight. He brushes Baekhyun's hair from his face to look at him clearly. Baekhyun's glassy eyes finally meet his own.

"I'm not here for that Baekhyun, you know that." he caresses his face to wipe his tears away, "You don't have to do that. I didn't come here as your fuck buddy or someone you need to please."

Baekhyun shakes his head, trying to prevent his heavy sobbing but terribly fails when it got worse.

"I don't need a fucking rebound. I came here because of you and not because of Shein..." Chanyeol says through his breath, "I've always been coming here for you..." he mumbles while wiping the smaller's cheeks.

Baekhyun stands up this time, grabbing Chanyeol by the head to capture his lips again. The taller finishes the job of taking off his thin clothing. His rough hands travel to the smooth skin of his back, grasping them longingly.

Baekhyun was lifted to the table like a doll. Chanyeol's hair is all messy. Swiftly yet impatient, he pulls off Baekhyun's pants. After throwing them on his side, he pulls Baekhyun's tilted body back to him.

"_Hmm..._" Baekhyun can't help grunt when Chanyeol's thumb starts playing with his nipple. He wastes no time, showing his expertise in doing multiple things to him.

Chanyeol pulls his waist closer, positioning his palm over his only remaining cloth while he places teasing kisses on his jaw. "Oh god..." he tilts his head up. Chanyeol watches the sensual expressions he makes, constantly making him hard in excitement.

He moves his palm slow and hard, grasping Baekhyun's aching length beneath his boxers. Baekhyun's eyes go teary as he groans against the other's lips, grinding his crotch against Chanyeol's large hand to meet his touch.

"The door, Yeol..." he mumbles, eyes still closed in pleasure even after hearing a few knocks on the door. Chanyeol continues to ravish his neck, "S-Someone's knocking..."

"Sshh..." Chanyeol hushed before kissing him again, deeper and harder with his hands on his head.

The knocks on the door are getting louder but it was drowned by the sound of their yearning kisses and moans. Baekhyun buries his face on Chanyeol's neck, biting them when he can't stop himself from whimpering. That's why he's the first one to see when the door opens right in front of them, revealing his cousin. His heart skips a beat when their eyes met.

"Oh my God!"

Her gasp was followed by loud, shocked sobs. Baekhyun panics even more when Chanyeol doesn't seem to hear this. His hands and lips continue to do the work as if Baekhyun is the only one that matters for him. Baekhyun needed to push him gently.

"C-Chanyeol... what are you..." Shein sobs hysterically, who obviously rushed back from Japan. She almost loses her balance, making her step back and lean on the wall behind her. Her hands cover her mouth while her eyes are pooled with tears.

"Yeol, stop..." Baekhyun whispers when Chanyeol remains facing him, eyes directed on his face.

"How could you do this Baekhyun?! You're disgusting!" she yells, her fists shake in anger. "I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you, you fucking bastard―" Baekhyun prepares himself when she steps forward in rage. Baekhyun flinches behind Chanyeol, preparing to receive her wrath. He closes his eyes when he feels her nails and palm hitting some parts of him. But it wasn't as painful as he expected. He opens his eyes and sees Chanyeol blocking her from reaching him.

"GET OFF ME CHANYEOL! LET ME GO!" she shrieks when his long arms effortlessly lifts her waist to take her away from Baekhyun. She continues to struggle against his hold. Baekhyun only watches her, his heart beating fast with the tension. But he isn't guilty. He's not afraid anymore.

"AH!" she screamed when she fell on the floor, face scrunching with the impact. Chanyeol watches her, his chest heaving heavily.

"Get out, Shein." he coldly says, "Please stop. While I'm still asking nicely." his voice is full of warning.

"C-Chanyeol... I came home because I want to talk things out. We can still fix this... We've been t-together, for a long time love. Are you throwing all of that away? For this? For him?!" she frantically shouted. Chanyeol clenches his jaw as she tries to run towards Baekhyun and hurt him again.

"I SAID STOP!" his deep voice echoes within the room, making the other two jump in shock. Chanyeol's eyes fire with rage, "It was you, Shein! You threw everything away! The moment you tried to control me and my life and the moment you shamelessly fooled me and everyone, you should've known that you'd lose me."

Baekhyun gulps. He doesn't want to remain watching them but he just can't stop looking and wait for what's about to happen.

Shein is a mess. Well, they all are. But her widening eyes full of tears and disbelief pinches somewhere inside her cousin's heart.

"A-Are you doing this to get revenge? Because you're hurt?" she asks, her hopeful voice breaks everytime.

Chanyeol looks at her straight.

"No." Chanyeol says in a more serious and calm manner, "I came to Japan to breakup with you."

She laughs sarcastically, even if her eyes are now filled with fear.

"N-No..." she shakes her head, "You didn't. You didn't, Chanyeol. P-Please listen to me first!"

Chanyeol's face says it all. He untangles her fingers around his arm.

"I don't love you anymore, Shein."

Baekhyun blinks in surprise. His mouth flew open in awe as he watches his cousin lose herself. He looks at Chanyeol, his heart beating uncontrollably.

She purses her lips as she sheds more tears. She shakes her head, not wanting to accept it. Or believe it.

And then she steps back, clutching her chest and her other hand over her mouth. Her agonizing sobs are the only noise around the room. Her gaze travels to both Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

"I'm sorry." Chanyeol can't help saying even if he doesn't really feel any remorse, "I'm sorry, Shein."

She cries so much, making her struggle to breathe. She continuously shakes her head before quickly walking away from them as she slams the door. Just in a few moments, she's gone from their sights.

Baekhyun's face is etched with worry. He's having so many emotions right now and he can't pinpoint which of them overpowers him the most.

Or maybe he can.

"C-Chanyeol..." he stutters when Chanyeol is right in front of him again, too close like before. "Go after her. She might...do something or―" his gaze from the door was immediately brought back to Chanyeol's eyes when his face was tilted by him.

"Baek." he holds Baekhyun's face into place when the smaller is still uneasy.

"But sh—"

"Please. This is about us, Baekhyun." Chanyeol says, Baekhyun stares at him.

"W-What?"

Chanyeol places quick but heavy kisses on his lips before cupping his ass to lift them up. Baekhyun flinches in surprise, quickly wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's neck so he won't fall.

"If you just let me finish, then you'll know."

He was brought to his bed. The short teasing kisses become the hungry and demanding ones as they reach inside. The longing and impatience make every touch rougher and harder.

Baekhyun's back falls onto the sheets. Chanyeol is in ecstasy. This is what he's been yearning for. This is his missing piece for the past few weeks.

"Oh_..._" Baekhyun groaned when the last piece of clothing he has was pulled away too. He can feel the coldness hitting his exposed wholeness. Just like before, Baekhyun is the first to get fully naked while Chanyeol watches his glory like a deity of his own.

"_Goddamn._" Chanyeol grunts, his voice is hoarse. He grasps Baekhyun by the back of his knees to place himself in the middle of his legs, "So perfect."

Baekhyun bites his lower lip so he won't smile.

He grasps the sheets firmly when the taller starts leaving marks on his chest down to his lower trail, biting and licking his skin on his terms.

He moves lower, until Baekhyun could feel his breath on his sensitive part. Baekhyun could feel his sweat forming on his temples when rough fingers start touching ass cheeks and hole, tracing them in tease.

"_Ah..._"

"What?" Chanyeol whispers, "what do you want me to do, Baek?"

Baekhyun breathes through his mouth. His throat has gone dry.

"Touch me, p-please..."

Chanyeol curves his lips. His palm caresses the skin of his cheeks, making sure Baekhyun would feel the friction. His fingers trace the skin of his balls down to his puckered hole. His middle finger finds its way inside his aching flesh, gradually going in then out again.

He pushes in and out, before rubbing the skin of his hole with the same hand.

"_Oh...god...Ah..._"

Chanyeol holds his cock with his other hand, earning him a look from Baekhyun, his eyes widening. Baekhyun's breath hitched.

"Y-Yeol...what are you..."

"Watch how you make me crazy, yeah baby?" he mumbles before he completely take his erected cock in his mouth. His eyes didn't leave Baekhyun's face, even when the other has thrown his head back with the sudden sensation.

"Chanyeol!" his body arches as he screams when Chanyeol starts moving his head up and down, taking him in so well. Beads of sweat start streaming down his forehead, his hands grab Chanyeol's hair tightly.

Chanyeol internally smiles in satisfaction. Baekhyun just tastes, feels so sweet. His cock isn't that big but just enough to fit in his mouth and hand. Like it was molded for him to do all of these.

"Oh..._fuck._" Baekhyun lets out a few more screams before finding his own release inside Chanyeol's warm mouth.

Chanyeol rubs his aching cock from the top of his pants. He kneels up as he tries to massage it with his own hand, trying to reduce the pain. Baekhyun's drowsy eyes watch him, he's still trying to recover from his euphoria.

_"Ah..."_ Chanyeol curses a few times under his breath when his shaft already feels swollen beneath his cloth. His hand has only found its way inside his pants, when Baekhyun kneels up in front of him. He quickly pulls down Chanyeol's pants, together with his boxer shorts and completely gets rid of them. His hand pulls the back of Chanyeol's head for another heated kiss while the other erotically pumps his cock under them.

Chanyeol moans against his mouth. His slender fingers do the magic so well, right from the tip down to his balls. Baekhyun is the only one who does it this good.

Baekhyun lets his length go, using both his hands to push him gently down the bed. His cock rubs against Chanyeol's stomach, their noses touching as they catch some breath.

His eyes meet Chanyeol's. The taller's gaze intensely pierces through his soul.

"I missed you..." Chanyeol breathes, eyes still on him. "_so much_, Baek..."

Baekhyun smiles with this, his eyes getting warm.

"Take me back..." he whispers against his lips, "I need you, _baby...._will you take me back?"

"They wouldn't want to hear this from you, Yeol..." he laughs, but his voice trembles.

"_Fuck_ them," Chanyeol takes a chaste kiss, "I just love you, Baekhyun. I love you..."

Baekhyun breaks down. His heart and mind feel like floating. Despite the tears, he can't remove his smile.

Chanyeol panics. His forehead creases in confusion.

"What? Why are you crying?" he holds his face, "Did I say something wrong?"

Baekhyun laughs. He shakes his head while wiping his tears.

"Nothing..." he shifts closer, "just don't say that in the middle of sex. It ruins the moment." he says, his heart still fluttering.

Chanyeol grins.

"No. it does not." he chuckles before reaching for the lube at the corner he remembers it's usually placed. And it is indeed still there.

Baekhyun continues to sniff, he feels the cold gel touch his hole from underneath. Chanyeol does the job on preparing him.

Chanyeol holds his own cock, applying the rest of the gel on his skin. Baekhyun gives him a glance before positioning himself on top of his tip.

_"Fuck..."_ Baekhyun cussed when he takes his cock halfway, his fingers dig onto the other's shoulders as he moves deeper. He slowly thrusts deeper until he feels his hole getting full with Chanyeol's length. Baekhyun screams in ecstasy. He wasn't able to let himself adjust after so many weeks of being untouched when Chanyeol is obviously impatient and eager to fuck his senses out. His hands grasp his waist tightly, moving him up and down as if persuading him to move along with him.

"_Ah!_ Fuck!" he screams erotically when Chanyeol successfully hits his spot of euphoria, looking at Baekhyun's face together with his priceless moans makes him thrust harder to hit the spot in insanely number of times.

Probably because of his exhaustion, Baekhyun almost loses his breath. He needed to slow down to catch some air, his head already droops down on Chanyeol's shoulders. Chanyeol pulls out as soon as he noticed this, pushing both their bodies down to switch himself to the top. He leans down to place a quick kiss on the brunette's lips before pushing back inside. His thrusts go deeper, he does all the job as Baekhyun pants heavily under him.

His other leg is placed over Chanyeol's shoulder as he gets fucked like how he wants it, bed bumping against the wall isn't even the limit. Baekhyun is a moaning mess under him when Chanyeol starts to slow down.

"Y-Yeol..._Please..._" Baekhyun pleads.

"Do you love me too, Baek?" he mumbles, emphasizing every slow thrust, his eyes directed on Baekhyun.

Baekhyun wants to cuss. He obviously does this on purpose. But there's really no point denying anymore.

He bites his lip, nodding his head frantically as he groans with impatience.

Chanyeol thrusts slower, shaking his head. He holds Baekhyun into place to stop him from meeting his thrust, earning him a frustrated glare.

"Say it," he commands, obviously playing difficult. "Baby, say what I want to hear..."

"_Ungh_― I d-do!" he screams in frustration, "I love you, Chanyeol. _Fuck_, please!" he breathes heavily.

Chanyeol flashes a boyish grin, suppressing a smile when he finally gets what he wants.

"Oh babe."

"Move now, you filthy asshole!" Baekhyun's face flushes with impatience and humiliation, "I _fucking _hate you so much, you always play dirty..." he whispers while subtly covering his face that's in a deep shade of red.

Chanyeol laughs with the irony, before going back to his faster pace. His arms flexed on both sides of Baekhyun's body as they exchange more wet and heated kisses between hard thrusts. Chanyeol gets more aggressive when his cock twitches near his release. Their lewd moans sound perfectly. He tilts his head up as he feels his climax nearing. He growls with wilder thrusts before completely releasing his orgasm inside his favorite hole.

"_Oh_..." Baekhyun furiously pumps his cock until white sticky substance squirts onto his abdomen. He flinches with the emptiness when Chanyeol pulls out but soon sighs in satisfaction when his body falls right beside him. As if the ceiling formed a very interesting image, they both stare blankly up above.

After a long moment of silence, Chanyeol turns his head to look at Baekhyun who doesn't even move a bit. Staring intently at the smaller, he notices the little smile curved on his lips, making him smile too. Baekhyun looks back at him for this, they both break down into a quiet laughter.

"Do you know what's gonna happen now?" Baekhyun mumbles, a trace of smile still on his face. But his eyes got a glimpse of fear, "Everyone will know."

Chanyeol shrugs, "Probably." he doesn't really care.

Baekhyun pauses, his eyes still glued at Chanyeol's face, as if memorizing his features. Right then, he moves his gaze back to the ceiling, swallowing.

"I'm fucked up, Yeol..." he chuckles weakly. He decides to just let his worries get into him on the next day. The moment is so perfect he can't even try to think about something that may ruin it.

Chanyeol lets out a deep breath, his eyes closed in exhaustion. He turns his body to his side and shifts closer to Baekhyun, burying his face on his neck while his palm finds its way to his stomach to let it rest there.

"Let's get fucked up together, then." he mumbles softly, just enough for Baekhyun to hear and make him feel at ease. The smell of honey and strawberries made Chanyeol fall asleep without worries.

x

"Yeol..."

Chanyeol grunts sleepily when someone starts tapping his cheeks.

"Yeol, wake up." Baekhyun taps him harder, but he only gets an annoyed groan from the taller. "Come on! I have to go somewhere for lunch so wake up and go home."

"Shit, it's 9 baby." he says without opening his eyes, his words are muffled because he covered his face with a pillow.

"I still haven't given you the right to call me that." he hisses, "At least not outside sex. Whatever. Chanyeol, come on!"

Chanyeol harshly throws the pillow out of his face when Baekhyun starts slapping his arms like hell, his skin is red with marks.

"Where the hell do you need to be for lunch?" he sits up, scratching his neck. "With Sehun? We can just go for lunch instead! Aren't you sore or what?"

Baekhyun sighs in defeat when he realizes that Chanyeol isn't planning to let him go this easy.

"The whole family's gonna be at my Mom's house because they requested to talk to me and her." Baekhyun says seriously, "Shein's prolly gonna be there too, I don't know." he purses his lips and subtly avoids eye contact but Chanyeol catches this.

"Fine. Can I come too?" Chanyeol asks, dismissing Baekhyun's look of disbelief. "I want to be there with you if ever they already found out about us so―"

"No! Chanyeol." he sighs, "that's ridiculous. No."

"But―"

"Get up! Come on, get dressed now!" he stands up, clapping his hands to motion the taller who's frowning. "Your friends have gone insane finding you, don't you even feel bad for them?"

Chanyeol is about to respond when Baekhyun's phone rings. He commands Chanyeol one more time before walking out of the room to answer.

He starts to put few of his clothing on, thinking that he's only imagining things when he hears Baekhyun's voice raising from the living room. He was staring into space when Baekhyun walks in again, his face unreadable. He looks like as if he's contemplating whether he'll say something or not.

"What?" Chanyeol stares at him.

"Mom said you need to come too." Baekhyun says uneasily, "I don't even know how she figured out you're with me right now. She scares me sometimes. And― wait, you know what, forget what I told you. Forget I said you should come. You can't come with me." Chanyeol shakes his head.

"No! She told you I need to be there too! I will come." he said with finality.

"But Chanyeol!" he starts to panic and Chanyeol doesn't even understand why.

"Don't you trust me on this?"

"It's not that. I trust you...I trust Mom. It's just..." Baekhyun struggles, "them. I don't want you to get involved with them yet...You met them. You saw how they're..." he couldn't finish his words but Chanyeol understands. He walks towards him and cups his cheeks.

"Just trust me." he looks straight in his eyes, "Okay, Baek?"

Baekhyun got no choice but to nod. But his heart beats like crazy, he isn't really feeling good about this.


	23. 22-Friend

"Are you still nervous?"

Baekhyun doesn't answer. But the way he jitters is just enough for Chanyeol's confirmation. Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh, he takes a quick glance at the tall gate in front of them before looking back to the brunette beside him.

"Please, Baek. Don't stress yourself too much over this."

"How can I not?" his face is now etched with worry, "This is gonna be a piece of cake if it was just me. I don't understand why they need to see you as well. What if they knew? Why do you need to be dragged into this mess..."

Chanyeol tries to suppress a smile because of his obvious concern, he thinks that he's too serious.

"I fucking hate dramas like this." he whispers and Chanyeol's lips curved.

"Oh, Baek..."

"Chanyeol, remember what you promised―"

"Yes, yes I will."

"―that you won't say anything about this to them, okay? Don't even try―" his words went unfinished when his lips was sealed with a quick kiss.

"So talkative."

Baekhyun remains stiff on his position, but soon leans back casually. His gaze looks away as he gulps. Chanyeol's hand crawls on top of his, firmly holding his soft and slender hand with assurance.

"It's gonna be fine." he smiles warmly, even though Baekhyun can't seem to keep his eyes directed on his.

"Okay..." Baekhyun blinks, uneasily glancing down to their hands. "uhm, let's go. Mom is waiting." he said, pulling back his hand from Chanyeol's hold.

"You don't wanna hold hands?" Chanyeol fakes a curious tone.

"No..." Baekhyun stares at him for a while, then to his hands before completely hopping off the car. "I don't."

Chanyeol chuckles before following him out.

The security recognized Baekhyun in an instant, so they went inside without a single questioning. Chanyeol can't help roaming his eyes around the big house, in awe as he sees it for the first time.

Where Baekhyun grew up.

His eyes fell on the much more interesting sight in front of him. Baekhyun walks ahead of him, obviously aware of the directions their heading to. His gaze can't help going down to the smaller's hands. _Oh man, how I wish._

"Where is she?" Baekhyun asked a helper just when they arrived at the main door. She bows at him, taking a quick look at Chanyeol behind him before answering.

"At the dining room, Sir. Your aunts and cousins are there as well."

Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, who stiffens. He knows he's nervous. But he doesn't understand why. If they knew then so what? Chanyeol even prefers it that way. He doesn't like hiding at all.

He only follows Baekhyun, whose walk seems to become much slower as they enter. As much as he wants to keep up with his pace and walk beside him, he chose to stay behind.

The silence makes it even harder for Baekhyun. There isn't much noise heard from the dining room. And with the amount of his cousins, it's almost close to impossible, just making him more convinced that this is beyond serious as it seems.

"Baekhyun-ah..." fortunately, his mother is the first one to spot him. He purses his lips when a couple of heads turn to look at his direction. He looks back at them blankly.

"Oh, Chanyeol. I'm glad you're here as well..." Chanyeol smiles to Mrs Byun, dismissing all the stares he gets from the people around. "sit please. You two..."

Baekhyun's breath hitches as he tries to spot a certain person among the familiar faces, but she's isn't here. Thankfully.

Chanyeol walks to the seat beside one of Baekhyun's cousins, but he was subtly prevented by Baekhyun to do so. He looks at Baekhyun in confusion, who only motions him to sit beside his mother instead and takes the seat beside his cousin. Everyone watches their every move, but Mrs. Byun is the only one looking warmly at them. Despite her seriousness, her gaze somewhat comforts them as they both sit beside her.

"Why did you call us all of a sudden, Mom?" Baekhyun goes straight to the point.

"Baekhyun-ah. You haven't even greeted them yet." she lightly scolds. Baekhyun only looks at them, then back to her as if it's ridiculous.

_No._

"Is it necessary?"

His mother looks at him, opening her mouth to scold him once more but his Aunt soon cuts her off.

"It's okay, Mikyung..." she forces a smile, looking back at Baekhyun. "I understand where you're coming from, Baekhyun. You have every right to be hostile."

Baekhyun doesn't answer, although he actually feels a little guilty for his actions. He hasn't even confirmed if they're all aware of his cousin's madness.

But they're most probably are.

His gaze moves from his Aunt to his another...Aunt, who remains serious while looking down on her plate. Baekhyun purses his lips tightly.

"Since they're here, why don't you say what you want to tell him?" his mother looks at each of the people around the table, as if questioning their unnecessary silence.

"We're..." one of his cousin starts off, "we're sorry, Baek. About Shein, we didn't know anything―"

"Didn't you?" Baekhyun can't help snapping back, "Really?"

"Well..." Jinri stutters, "I kinda noticed it way back. But believe me, I wasn't able to confirm. You know Shein barely tells us anything now."

"Are you saying that none of you knew what she was doing?" Mrs. Byun asked to confirm. Most of them frantically nods their head, looking at Baekhyun with assurance.

"Yes, Auntie. We didn't know."

Mrs. Byun turns and faces the woman two seats away from her.

"Yumi?" she asks kindly, "did you know?"

Shein's mother looks back at her, and finally to Baekhyun. Then she shakes her head, disappointment and pain evident on her eyes. Chanyeol gulps on his seat.

"I-I'm sorry..." she finally says, trying to keep her voice intact but fails. "I don't know why she's being like this. I don't understand..." her voice trembles but she tries hard to keep her straight face and not break down.

Baekhyun looks away, unable to handle the pain the sight brings to him.

Shein's mother looks directly at Chanyeol this time.

"I'm sorry, Chanyeol. For what she did..." she pauses, "even you...what was she thinking?" she mutters faintly. Chanyeol doesn't know what to say.

"You shouldn't apologize." Mrs. Byun says, her tone remains serious. "It's her fault, not yours."

"Still," Shein's mother says, "I can't help thinking where I went wrong that she ended up like this." Baekhyun knows how close she is to breaking down, but she tries hard not to. And it hurts him. That somebody else feels miserable for someone else's wrongdoing.

"Excuse me," a helper bows in courtesy when she interrupts their conversation, "Your nieces are here, Miss." she politely informs before bowing.

Mrs. Byun looks at Baekhyun. He does the same, his heart beating unusually fast.

His cousins remain silent too, although they exchange glances with one another. Most of them anticipate their aunt's reaction.

"Tell them to go here." Baekhyun can hear the stern voice from his mother. Images from last night start coming back to his mind.

As if the silence can be even more deafening, everybody remained quiet as the two girls entered. They all stand from their seats, leaving the four of them seating. Mrs. Byun is the last one to slowly stand up and face them. Chanyeol and Baekhyun remain sitting, and so does Shein's mother.

"I just found her this morning..." Marge says as she slowly walks nearer, "We went straight here Mom, Auntie..." her gaze travels from them to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun's eyes fell on the person behind Marge, his chest heaves with mixed emotions. Shein blankly stares on the floor as if she doesn't even want to spare them a single glance.

Chanyeol is the only one not staring at her for too long. He can't take it. Not just yet.

"Sheiny, where have you been?" one of their cousin asked. Shein doesn't budge.

"Shein please." Marge whispers, her eyes are exhausted yet her concern is evident.

Mrs. Byun lifts her hand, motioning them to stop and let her talk. She looks at the woman in front of her, trying to keep herself calm.

"Would you like to tell us everything now, Shein?" Baekhyun can't help but notice the difference of his mother's usual warm and sweet tone. It is as if her rage from the night he was beaten up by his father comes back.

Shein lifts her gaze, her eyes are bloodshot red. As she looks at her Aunt, her gaze caught Chanyeol from his seat. Her expression changes a little but it goes back to being blank and distracted. Although her chest starts to heave heavily.

She gulps as she prevents the hot tears pooling on the corner of her eyes to fall down. Her fists are tightly clutched on both her sides.

"Just tell me... why would you do this to your own cousin?" Mrs. Byun asks through gritted teeth, "Have him beaten up? Why Shein? How could you do that to Baekhyun?"

Baekhyun's breath hitched. He doesn't know how long his mother can compose herself. Shein's gaze fell directly on his eyes. Her eyes full of fury and resentment, she harshly wipes the continuous tears streaming on her cheeks.

"He deserved it." she hissed.

Chanyeol clenches his jaw. Up until this moment, she hasn't learned her lesson.

Mrs. Byun purses her lips tight with her feisty answer. She sighs deeply, opening her mouth to say something but she was tapped by Shein's mother. She looks at Mrs. Byun, as if pleading her to stop first. She's now on her feet, taking a step to her daughter.

Everyone watches her, in awe. Just when they thought she did this to spare her daughter, they were wrong.

She steps forward. Once her palm was lifted up in the air, her strong slap wasn't prevented from completely landing on Shein's cheek. The loud sound of hitting made most of them gasp on their places. Mrs. Byun's eyes widen like how the rest did.

"Mom!" Marge shrieks when another slap was given to her sister. Shein lets out loud yelps with the heavy hand hitting her face.

"Are you awake now?!" everybody got chills with how cold and stern her voice became, "Or do I need to slap you more?" she raises her arm again, making Shein close her eyes in fear.

"Mom, please!" Marge pleads, slightly blocking Shein from her mother's sight.

"You ungrateful child!" she breathes heavily, pushing her older daughter aside to look at Shein clearly. "Can you see what have you done?!"

Shein frantically shakes her head as she cries. She tries to hold her mother's hand but she gets shoved away.

"N-No Mom...please! It wasn't my intention. Believe me... I was just afraid—I..." she turns to Chanyeol's direction as she sobs uncontrollably, "I w-was afraid. That I'll lose Chanyeol...and everything, because of Baekhyun..."

Baekhyun feels a pang in his chest, and it's too much for him to ignore. He can't help but let his gaze fall down as he clenches his teeth. He's all tensed up.

He feels a hand touching his uneasy one under the table. He looks over to Chanyeol, who only gives him a quick glance before looking in front again. His large hand firmly holds Baekhyun's clutched fist, as if telling it to relax. Baekhyun starts to loosen up, Chanyeol's hand made him a lot better so he holds it back. Fortunately, the table cloth covers their hands enough from everyone's sight.

"Can you hear yourself?!" her mother gets more agitated, "What do you think is left for you now? It is your fault! I can't believe you reached this point of stupidity!"

Shein only cries harder. Her sobs echo within the hall. Her cousins can't even do nor say anything. They remain sympathetically watching her downfall.

"You don't...u-understand." her whisper is barely audible because of her struggle in breathing, "I just loved, Eomma. I loved too much..." she mumbled between her sobs.

Chanyeol feels a lump in his throat. He just can't look at her directly. But the hand holding his own underneath comforts him at least.

"This is not how you love." her mother says weakly. Her eyes reflect disappointment as she slowly turns away. But they got more alarmed when she almost falls down. Almost all of them scream and hurry to her side. Baekhyun quickly stands up, his heart rummaging against his chest.

"Yumi!" Mrs. Byun yells, holding her elbow. Shein's mother clutches her chest as her breathing gets deeper and heavier. But nonetheless, she lifts her palm and motions them that she's okay. But they know better.

"M-Mom..."

"Don't." her mother snapped, avoiding her touch.

"Marge, bring her to the hospital. I'll follow." Mrs. Byun says urgently. Marge doesn't have any choice but to nod and obey, leaving her little sister who can't do anything now. Everybody knows how she's not really well especially when she gets too agitated.

Shein remains silently weeping on the side, watching some of her cousins holding her mom to bring her to the hospital.

"Auntie, we better go there too. We'll just take Shein home first." one of their cousins says, walking towards Shein, who's hopelessly staring at her boyfriend, or _ex_. "Shein. Come on."

"Chanyeol..." she called. Her tone is helpless and pleading like her eyes. Chanyeol gulps and looks away.

"Shein...please." her cousin drags her out, until she can't do anything and go with them.

The three of them were the only ones left, but the uneasy silence is still there.

"Well then," Mrs. Byun starts off, her tone is still serious. "that was quicker than expected. I'll follow them to the hospital later." she stated.

Baekhyun lets out a deep breath. As much as he wants to go too and make sure his aunt will be alright, he knows he better not. Not when things are this complicated.

"Okay then. We'll go now." Baekhyun glances at Chanyeol.

"No, wait."

They both stare at Mrs. Byun.

"Go up to my room first. I have to talk to Chanyeol." she said, staring at the taller.

His forehead creases because of this, but his mother only looks at him.

"What? Why?"

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, who becomes quiet all of a sudden. He's obviously surprised too. Although his face looks serious.

"Just go, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun feels even more nervous.

"But Mom! I don't—"

"It's fine, Baek." Chanyeol's lips curved into a small smile, as if assuring him. "Go. We'll leave after we talk." his enthusiasm sounds so fake when he's obviously equally nervous as he is.

Baekhyun shakes his head, his mouth opened in awe.

"It's gonna be quick." Chanyeol pats his face before following Mrs. Byun. Baekhyun was left alone, his chest thumping like crazy. What is it this time?

"What did she tell you?" Baekhyun asks immediately after going out of the house. Chanyeol tries to reach for his hand but he eagerly pulls it away, his face obviously confused.

They went inside Chanyeol's car but he still doesn't answer. But his face looks casual as ever.

"Yah." he feels pissed when he got ignored. Chanyeol looks at him with both his brows raised, "Did you hear me? What did she tell you?"

"Hmm?" Chanyeol smiled.

"Chanyeol!"

"Nothing important, okay?"

"You're trying to bullshit me now, huh?"

"Language."

Baekhyun sighs in defeat. He doesn't know where the frustration comes from.

"It's nothing...really. She just told me to be the best boyfriend ever and to not let you burn your apartment." he grinned before starting the engine.

Baekhyun stares at him. He knows that he can't let him speak anytime soon so he chooses to let it go.

"We're not together, you ass."

"Right now, yeah." Chanyeol shrugs.

"Don't be so full of yourself. We can't be sure of that."

"Oh c'mon." Chanyeol narrows his eyes at him, "What? Still considering Sehun?"

"Why is he being mentioned again?" Baekhyun responds to his judging stare, "And I like Sehun so why not?"

Chanyeol lets out a loud 'tss', but Baekhyun only raises his brow.

"Well you love me, so I don't see the point of being threatened..."

"But I like him more."

Chanyeol falls silent, his gaze directed on the road. Baekhyun bites his lip as he hides a smirk.

Although, Baekhyun can't help thinking about it.

"Seriously though, Yeol..." he shifts sideways to face the frowning man, "when will you talk to Sehun?"

Chanyeol only looks at him. Then he focuses back to driving, although his eyes look distracted.

"I don't even know why he's still hung up on that. He probably hates me to the bones, that's why."

Baekhyun sighs.

"You know that's not true."

Chanyeol went serious. Then what is? Even him, couldn't understand how his relationship with Sehun fell down the cliff. He chose not to think about it instead.

"Talk to him, please. The longer you keep this, the more it gets worse." Baekhyun says, convincing him.

Chanyeol gets irritated.

"He obviously wants it this way." he snaps, "Why are we talking about him? I'm hungry, we should get something to eat."

Baekhyun doesn't answer. He only lets Chanyeol do what he wants, not wanting to push his limits.

x

Baekhyun should've just stayed home. Or just went out with Jieun or Heechul. It's Saturday and he's awkwardly standing on the corner of the place, watching people come and go.

The band is performing on the elevated stage built in the middle of the crowd. It's their friend's engagement so they were invited to perform. And what's even worse is that it's a summer tropical themed one.

He takes another quick glance on his hawaiian polo and managed to hide his cringe. If it wasn't for someone who's pulling a tantrum when he wouldn't agree to go, then he might as well be enjoying right now.

It's not really that bad. Although parties like this just don't impress him that much. Maybe that's why he never go to weddings. They're just so upright. Even when people are having fun, it's not _his _type of fun. Especially when random guys and girls stick their eyes on him like some kind of meat.

"How was it?" Chanyeol comes right after Baekhyun hissed at some perverted man, earning him a frown. "Was it good?" he smiles, pertaining to the performance.

"Yea." Baekhyun answered, although his face says otherwise. Well, he wasn't really able to watch it properly so what is he supposed to say?

"Wow, I really felt that you enjoyed it." Chanyeol scrunches his face, but Baekhyun remains frowning so he tries to hold him but the smaller flinches away. "What is it, Baek?"

"Yeol, don't... They might see." he mumbled before cautiously looking around.

Chanyeol frowns. He looks around too before staring back at him.

"So? I don't care, anyways." Baekhyun glares at him so he got no choice but to shrug in defeat, keeping a distance. "Why do you look like that? The party's fun."

Baekhyun remains frowning.

"I want to go home..." he mumbles softly, "can I go home now?"

"Hell no, it's still daylight Baek!" Chanyeol can't help but pout with Baekhyun being a complete party pooper, "you didn't bring your car so I'm going to drive you home later."

Baekhyun stomps his feet. But Chanyeol shakes his head.

"But I'm tired, Yeol. Please, let's go now..." he shakes his arm but Chanyeol only flashes an annoying beam, before shaking his head once more.

"I'll suck you hard and will let you fuck me on your terms, how about that?" Baekhyun hissed.

"What the fuck, Baek?" it's his turn to look around this time, checking if someone heard. But Baekhyun remains serious, so Chanyeol sighs. "We still can't go. We just got here! Plus it will be rude to Chris if we leave now. C'mon Baek... you haven't even tried enjoying it yet."

Baekhyun groans. Chanyeol rests his arm around Baekhyun's shoulder, although making sure that it doesn't look intimate but casual.

"Can I go to Sehun then?" he looks at Baekhyun who's already staring up at him, "I haven't talk to him yet..."

Chanyeol purses his lips.

"Does he want to talk to you?"

"I feel like he doesn't approach me..." Baekhyun clears his throat, "because you're always around."

Chanyeol blinks a few times. Then he casually shrugs.

"Well then, it's his call." Chanyeol's hand finds its way to his neck, "I'm not staying away for his convenience." he tries to give a comforting smile but Baekhyun is looking at the floor. His heart twitches.

"C'mon," he says, putting his hands in his pocket, "I'll show you something." he smiles before walking ahead.

They walk to a quite far distance. The floral pathway leads to a broad field of grass, with a few colorful umbrellas and swing hammocks. It is a lot breezier here than in the pavilion. Baekhyun runs on the grass as he takes out his phone.

"I haven't rode a bike for years!" he shrieks while running towards the standing bicycle on the grass. Chanyeol only follows him, grinning. "Take a picture of me!" he hands him his phone which Chanyeol gladly accepts.

"Eh... What?" Baekhyun mutters when he realized that the bike is attached to the ground, serving only for display purpose. He yells out of frustration.

"I was supposed to tell you but you're too excited!" Chanyeol laughs as he defends himself when Baekhyun glares at him, "you can still ride on it."

"I'll only look stupid..." Baekhyun mumbled.

"You won't! C'mon! I'll just take a good picture."

Baekhyun rides on the bicycle, unable to suppress his sheepish grin.

"1.2.3." he poses on top of it as Chanyeol continues to click his phone. His feet start stepping on the pedals as if he's really biking, except it's not really moving. Chanyeol smiles. He takes a few more stolen shots before clicking the front camera to take his own selcas and sneakily adds his face in Baekhyun's gallery.

Baekhyun is obviously enjoying in his own little kiddie world while he pedals so Chanyeol takes out his own phone and starts filming him.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asks teasingly, focusing the camera on Baekhyun who grins back.

"Well, I just finished my schedule so..." he answered, fooling around as well.

"Do you enjoy riding a bike often?" Chanyeol sounded like a news anchor.

"Oh yeah, I commute by bike. Everyone uses bike more often." he responds while still pedaling the immovable bicycle. Both of them laugh at their stupidity.

"What do you _enjoy _the most then, Mr?" Chanyeol asks again, "Riding that bike, or riding me? You can only choose one."

"Ooh I'm quite torn..." Baekhyun smiles while his eyes are narrowing, "Well, the bike isn't being a jerk to me. But you can take me to higher places so I guess I'm preferring you for now." he responds while grinning widely. Chanyeol lets out a chuckle before clicking stop.

He starts focusing on his own phone, clicking consistently. Right then, he makes sure to crop the last part before posting, deciding that it's only for his own entertainment. He smiles while thinking of something to caption. He watches Baekhyun who's looking like a small child on the bike, his heart fluttering.

_Baekhyunnie going to school._

"What's that for?" Baekhyun asked, still pedaling.

"Posted on IG." Chanyeol said while still typing on his screen. His eyes widen.

"That's not fair! I didn't know!" Baekhyun stops, yelling as he catches his breath.

"Post on yours too. Post my face or something."

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, completely getting off the bike. "No thanks, my feed is too cool to be ruined." Chanyeol only mimicks him.

They walk to the swing hammocks, where Chanyeol wastes no time when he lays down casually on one of them. He even puts his arms under his head, looking like a complete tourist.

"Tch." Baekhyun snorts. Nonetheless, he follows and sits on the other chair nearby. Although he stands up again soon enough, watching Chanyeol once more before deciding to take out his phone too. _If you humiliate me on the internet, then I'll do the same dipshit. _At least now, he's got something to justify this party to be fun.

"Hey, Yeol. Want me to push the hammock for you?" he offered. Chanyeol only scrunches his face, eyes still closed. He takes a quick photo of him before kicking the hammock gently for it to move.

"Ooh, that felt nice. Do it again!" Chanyeol yelled while smiling, he can't even open his eyes because of the sun. Baekhyun continuously clicks.

"Harder?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just a little." Chanyeol commanded.

"Okay!"

But his 'little' was a complete lie when he pushes the hammock hard, just enough for it to flip sideways and throw off Chanyeol to the ground. Baekhyun makes sure to take a shot of this epic fall before falling to the ground with his silent laughter. His eyes water as he breathes between his laughs. His hand is trembling while he posts multiple pictures.

_Chanyeol posing pt 1_

_Chanyeol posing pt 2_

_Last of Chanyeol posing._

"That hurts!" Chanyeol screamed when he managed to stand up. Baekhyun lifts up his hand to ask help for Chanyeol to lift him from the ground because he's too busy laughing. Chanyeol glares at him before harshly pulling his hand . He wraps his long arm around Baekhyun's neck, jokingly choking him for his stunt.

"Ah― stop. I c-cant breathe!" he yells although he struggles breathing because of too much laughing. He feels the taller's face on his ear, making him flush harder.

"Don't choke me this way!" he slaps his arm on his neck as they both end up cracking up and falling on the grass.

"Hey you want some cucumber?"

Baekhyun turns around, partly because of the mention of something he doesn't like (hates to the bones). But mostly because of the familiarity of the voice and teasing tone.

"Oh I see you don't."

"Sehun, you ass. Why are you talking to me just now?" he touches the younger's arm to pull him down, making him sit right beside him. The faint sound of the music can be heard from a distance. He chose to stay here when Chanyeol was called by some of his friends and he refused to tag along.

"If you must know, I never really liked third-wheeling." Sehun looks at him, "You seem to have fun with each other, so I'm fine here with my cucumber juice."

Baekhyun throws him a glare.

"I'm not staying here that much, Chanyeol-hyung's probably gonna come soon."

"He's talking to his friends! And why do you need to leave if he's here?" Baekhyun responds with disbelief, "Will the both of you cut the shit already?"

"It's fine. I'm used to being a second choice so..." Baekhyun pinches him, "I'm joking!"

"Sehun, I don't want you acting like this...staying away from me just because of Chanyeol. You're my friend. He's my friend..." Baekhyun bites his lip, "well that sounded really awkward but you both are my friends. And are you really throwing your own friendship that easy?"

"Damn it, I knew you'll bring this up." Sehun shakes his head, "Don't worry about it that much, Baekhyun. It's our problem. We'll fix this soon, don't worry. But as of now, just let him look after you. Your original lifesaver is kinda busy nowadays, but you know I'm just here." he said. Baekhyun can't help smiling, his heart feels like floating.

"What?" Sehun raises a brow when Baekhyun only stares at him, "you're freaking me out."

He leans down and gives him a quick peck on the lips. Sehun wasn't even able to react or close his eyes. His mouth flew open with Baekhyun's sudden action.

"What......."

"I owe you one, I remember." Baekhyun looks in front, shrugging. Sehun still stares at him, in awe. "I just wanted to thank you, Sehun. That's why."

Sehun blinks, collecting himself and looking casual once more. Though he fails.

"Y-You can't just kiss me whenever you feel like it..." Sehun laughs nervously. But Baekhyun only grins, "And my lips taste like cucumber."

Baekhyun stops smiling when he realized this. He immediately wipes his lips with his hand.

Sehun chuckles.

"Wait. Luhan-hyung is calling. I think we're going home now." he glances up to Baekhyun, "Let's go?"

They walk back to the event pavilion where the members of the band are waiting for them. Baekhyun looks around, but Chanyeol isn't there.

"Where's Chanyeol?" he asked them. Lay curiously stares at him.

"Isn't he with you? I thought he went where you were staying."

Baekhyun blinks in surprise. Sehun looks at him, he gulps as he looks around again.

"Oh, there he is."

Chanyeol walks to them, his keys are on his hands. He seriously looks at them, coldly rather.

"I already told Chris, we can go now." he said, not even sparing Baekhyun a glance before walking out of the pavilion. Sehun and Baekhyun share a nervous look.

The other members laugh loudly while they crack some jokes on their way to their cars. Chanyeol walks far ahead of them. While the two slowly walk behind the rest.

"Do you want me to..."

"No, Sehun." he shakes his head, forcing a smile. "Thanks but I can handle this. Sorry for the trouble."

The rest of them bid their goodbyes, except for the three of them. Chanyeol immediately goes inside his car, while Baekhyun greets them, not to be rude. It seems that the other completely forgot about courtesy.

Chanyeol is driving silently. Baekhyun doesn't need to ask why. He knows. He had probably seen it. And he doesn't know what to say.

Part of him thinks he doesn't need to explain himself, but he can't be at ease getting this kind of treatment.

"Are you staying for tonight?" Baekhyun asks, trying to break the silence. Chanyeol doesn't answer, so he thought he's completely ignoring him. But he talks after a long pause.

"Do you want me to?" he asks, glancing sarcastically at Baekhyun before staring back to the road.

"Well, your choice." Baekhyun suddenly feels pissed, he's not really in the mood to pamper Chanyeol because he's tired from all the pretending he did for today. "But I prefer if you go home, get some rest at least."

"Oh is that so?" Chanyeol responds, "I'll stay then. Since it's my choice, you said."

"Okay." Baekhyun agrees, too tired to argue.

"Really? It's okay?" Chanyeol asks again, "If you don't want to then just say it. I won't force you." his tone is overflowing with sarcasm.

Baekhyun shuts his eyes tight.

"You're being such a bitch right now, Chanyeol. I don't know what the fuck do you want."

"Oh I don't know either. Maybe because I've seen shit going on behind my back." his tone raised.

"If this is about me kissing Sehun then go fucking straight to it!"

"So you admit?" Chanyeol's jaw hardens, "Wait, are you proud of it too?"

"I'm not! There's just no point denying because you've already seen it!" Baekhyun breathes heavily, "That was just a friendly kiss! I don't know why you're making a fuss out of it!"

"Friendly kiss my fucking ass! Why do you need to kiss your friend like that? On the lips? Come on!" Chanyeol yelled back, his gaze is flaming.

"You know I've been doing that ever since." Baekhyun stares back at him, "I kiss Heechul, I kiss my other friends and Sehun isn't any different! Did you see me pound on him or suck his cock, huh? Jesus!"

"Well, it shouldn't work like that!" Chanyeol snaps, Baekhyun sighs in frustration. "Did you even think about how I'm going to feel, Baekhyun? Or did you only think about yourself?"

Baekhyun fires up.

"I don't even know why I should explain to you!" he scowls, "As long as I'm concerned, I don't owe you any explanation Chanyeol."

Chanyeol's expression falls down. He wasn't able to answer instantly.

"Oh." he nods, "because you're an independent person who needs no one, and I'm just a concerned friend. Is that it?"

Baekhyun is dumbfounded this time. His heart rummages against his chest.

"Wait." Chanyeol grins as he faces the steering wheel again, "I'm not even your friend. I'm just a random guy you stumbled upon and have sex with when you're down. Right, who am I kidding." he chuckled before completely going silent the whole trip.

Baekhyun chooses to look out the window. The lump in his throat is making it harder for him to breathe.


	24. 23-Delusions

When he got inside his apartment, the weight in his chest got heavier. He closed the door hesitantly. Chanyeol completely left without saying a word, yet still made sure he reached his apartment safely. Baekhyun thought he'll stay for the night, but he had completely fucked it all up so he shouldn't really complain if Chanyeol decided not to. He's just going to sleep. Or more like, convince himself that the guilt inside his chest isn't much of a bother.

And as if everything is mocking his agony, the loud startling sound of thunderstorms can be heard outside his window. Baekhyun curls himself under his blanket. The cold emptiness starts crawling inside him and he feels sick of it. The crashing sound of the heavy raindrops and the flashing lights of lightning make him tremble. God, just why now?

He stares into an empty darkness under the thick blanket. His clouded thoughts make him even fall deeper into misery. He cussed, then groans. Then he cussed again.

_Everything I said was true._ Baekhyun once again insists on thinking. He tries to comfort himself. He'll get over it. He will.

But when he recalls the last expression he saw from Chanyeol, realization comes crashing down on him together with the loud crashing sound of thunders.  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol wakes up in the middle of the night. The unclear view on his window makes it definite that the rain just got worse. But it wasn't that sound that woke him up. He looks at his wristwatch he forgot to take off. It's only quarter to 2. It hasn't been long since he fell asleep after drinking a few bottles by himself. His face scrunches in confusion. He rubs his eyes as he reaches for his phone to check any new message, but there isn't any.

He groggily walks out of his bed, slightly bumping into things he only cussed at. His hand grabs the knob as soon as the second set of knocking starts.

He meets face to face with Baekhyun, who tries so hard to look casual even if he's already dripping wet and trembling in coldness. His arms are both folded in front of him while his feet are uneasy.

"Baek?" Chanyeol utters even before he recalls their last argument. His expression changes, although worry starts creeping in him.

"U-Uhm..." Baekhyun notices this, he clears his throat to keep himself from trembling. But he can't look straight to Chanyeol so he looks at his chest instead, "Well..."

"Why are you so wet?" Chanyeol asks, his voice filled with irritation. He never really liked Baekhyun's impulsiveness, "Where's your car?"

"I took the c-cab." Baekhyun bites his lip when his voice shakes again. It's getting too cold for him.

"Why didn't you bring your car? Or at least an umbrella, Byun Baekhyun!" Chanyeol's voice echoes as it raises despite the noise from the heavy rainfall.

Baekhyun forces a smile even though he's mentally slapping himself.

"I didn't think about that..." he chuckles but stops when Chanyeol remains serious, "Can I at least get inside first before you continue scolding me?"

He isn't telling Chanyeol that he rushed his way here, without actually thinking straight.

"Why are you here?" Chanyeol asks with a frown, still not letting him inside. Baekhyun wants to roll his eyes, but he's too caught up with the question.

"I-It was..." he doesn't know if he stutters from coldness or because of Chanyeol's eyes that are directed to him. Baekhyun clears his throat, "The thunderstorms are so loud I-I can't... sleep."

Chanyeol's face straightens.

"You came all the way here at this hour because you're scared of the thunder?" he repeats, intently watching the petite's struggling face.

Baekhyun's teeth clench as he continues to tremble. He looks at Chanyeol.

"Yes."

Chanyeol is speechless. Although Baekhyun's wet state bothered him soon enough. He steps back as he opens the door wider, still not saying anything.

Baekhyun lets out a few puffs of cold air as he rubs his arms thoroughly with his hands. He takes off his shoes and puts it aside, then he follows Chanyeol up the stairs while still hugging himself with his own arms.

"Take a shower." Chanyeol coldly says while handing over a boxer and oversized tee for him. Baekhyun gulps as he looks at them on his hands, almost certain that nothing will fit him. Although he still accepted it.

He took a quick shower where he also managed to think about his reckless actions and cursed himself for it. Looking at Chanyeol's treatment on him, he should've just stayed home and let him take his time. Baekhyun can't help getting pissed with his own impatience. If they both clash against each other again right now because of too much emotions, then everything will just be worse.

He should've just stayed in his place even if he can't sleep because of guilt and loneliness. Right.

For the record, he actually thought that Chanyeol went back to sleep and he'll end up sleeping on the couch. But as he steps out of his bathroom, Chanyeol isn't there. He uneasily holds his borrowed boxers around his waist every now and then because it's really loose. And the shirt isn't any different because it has even reached his thighs. He knows he looks stupid but he doesn't really have a choice given that the other is a gigantic jerk.

"Yeol?" Baekhyun softly calls while he heads downstairs. He can hear some movements from the kitchen so that's where he proceeds.

He sees Chanyeol's broad back facing him. He quietly peaks behind his arms and realizes that the taller is making some hot milk. He awkwardly stands there, engulfed with the silence.

"Sit." he almost jumped when Chanyeol spoke. He didn't even turn to look as he continues stirring the cup of hot drink. Baekhyun walks to the table with his bare feet and sits on the nearest chair. His breathing is hitched, he gulps every now and then. He doesn't like this feeling at all.

Baekhyun coincidentally looks at the empty bottles of beer on the side of the table, his forehead creasing.

"You've been drinking?" he stops himself from adding 'this much?'

Chanyeol only tilts his head sideways, humming as an answer. Baekhyun continues to wonder how mad he must be for not even bothering to talk to him properly. But instead of getting annoyed, he feels a pang in his chest.

He just can't take this kind of treatment. He can't even think of lasting a day.

"Why are you being like this to me?" Baekhyun asks in a low voice, but the taller pretty much heard it clearly. The way his voice shakes isn't from the coldness anymore, he's sure.

Baekhyun grasps the marble table with his cold hands. His lips are pursed tightly while he watches how Chanyeol continues to ignore him.

"Drink this then sleep in my room. I'll sleep in the other." he says while finishing the milk that turns out to be only for Baekhyun. He's obviously pertaining to the guest room. Baekhyun's gaze falls on his trembling fingers.

Chanyeol is also staring blankly at the drink in front of him, absentmindedly watching his hand go round as it holds the stirring spoon.

He stops, feeling a pair of arms tightly wrapped around his waist. He can feel Baekhyun's warmth against his back as the smaller buries his face on his shirt. His hands are clasped together in front of Chanyeol, as if making sure he won't let go.

"Baek." the coldness is still in his voice even if his knees are starting to feel weak.

"I'm sorry..." Baekhyun mumbles against him, "if you were hurt then I'm really sorry...p-please don't ignore me like this."

Chanyeol doesn't move.

He can feel Baekhyun's thumping heart behind him and it drives him insane. He manages to hold Baekhyun's arms to try and get them off his waist. But to no avail, the smaller only makes it tighter.

"Baekhyun get off of me and drink this first."

He feels his head shaking in defiance behind him. Chanyeol sighs. Although he's not sure if he does want to let go from this hug.

"Baek, please..." he groans in frustration. But the smaller only keeps on shaking his head, falling silent. Chanyeol stops on his tracks.

"Are you crying?" Chanyeol feels his head shaking instantly, but the warm feeling on his back says otherwise. Chanyeol tries to move and escape but Baekhyun copes up with his long legs when he starts stepping back with Baekhyun still clinged onto him.

"Stop now, Baek. C'mon look at me." Baekhyun goes deaf and completely makes himself comfortable on his place. Chanyeol untangles his hand, "I'm getting more pissed Baekhyun, let go."

"I said I'm sorry!" Baekhyun exclaimed.

Chanyeol takes a deep breath before forcibly taking off his hands from his waist and forcing him to face him. Baekhyun immediately keeps his head down, yet unable to hide his flushed faced and glistening eyes.

"Look at me." Chanyeol holds his face but he moves against it, "Baekhyun... Why are you crying?"

"I j-just..." he harshly wipes his face with his shirt, "I just don't want this shit. It's hurting me." he looks away, taken aback by his own words.

Chanyeol can feel his heart floating, he stares directly at the brunette. "Did you really say that?"

"Yes. And I shouldn't have had! You're judging me again!" Baekhyun throws him a glare between his faint sobs. Chanyeol looks at him.

"Oh baby..." Chanyeol can't help muttering, his hand still attached to Baekhyun's. He rubs his forehead with frustration, "I should be mad at you. I should control myself but shit—" he was put into silence by the soft lips that sensually crash into his.

"_Mmn_. Ah _shit_." he cussed before he droops down again to Baekhyun's anticipating lips. The shorter's hands are on his hair and cheeks, making sure he gives his all.

Baekhyun effortlessly pulls down the loose boxers from his waist as he catches his breath. The long shirt still covers his sensitive skin but the cold air against him gives him goosebumps. He impatiently goes back to kissing Chanyeol's lips as he guides the taller's large hands down to his ass.

"You're so unfair... You're making this so hard for me." Chanyeol huskily whispered against his jaw. His hands both cup Baekhyun's thick cheeks, pulling him closer to grind against him.

"I love you Chanyeol..." Baekhyun groans as he continues to rub himself onto Chanyeol's clothed erection. His half-lidded eyes stare directly into Chanyeol's flaming ones and that got his mind spinning.

"You sure know how to play with me. Don't you, _hmm _Baek?" he ravishes his neck, biting and licking it as if marking it his own. The images from last night that made him angry are coming back but those three words from him effortlessly burn them into ashes. He hates it. Chanyeol knows he's fucking smitten.

His thumb starts tracing Baekhyun's slit, making him bite his lip to suppress a loud moan.

"I'm not _oh_— p-playing with you..." Baekhyun needed to hold onto the chair with both the pleasure on his neck and cock. He lets Chanyeol kiss him up back to his face as he holds him closer, "I love you, _Yeol_... I love you, I love you, I lo—"

"Shut the fuck up, you talker." Chanyeol breathes against his lips, his lips curving after he cuts off Baekhyun's mantra. He cups his ass and places him over the marble kitchen counter within a second. Baekhyun automatically spreads his legs apart to let his man stand right in between them.

"Even if you're a jealous freak. Even, _mmn fuck_, if you always bully me..." Baekhyun suppresses a moan when Chanyeol rubs his cock with his hand, "Even if you easily get threatened by guys who got bigger dicks than you..." Baekhyun grins when Chanyeol looks at him, his nose crinkles.

"Really huh?" Chanyeol leans closer to his face with his testing expression, "How many dicks have you seen?" he rubs Baekhyun's perked nipple even with the shirt still on.

"So many bigger ones, babe." Baekhyun tries to touch his face but he pulls it away, making Baekhyun chuckle even more.

"Okay, smartass." he pushes Baekhyun's legs even more apart, his tongue clicking. "But only my dick can get you moaning like a bitch in heat."

Baekhyun couldn't agree more. He watches how Chanyeol swiftly pulls his pants down, revealing his length, hard and leaking. He droops down into another hungry kiss before jumping down the counter, his heart beating in anticipation.

Baekhyun, being the usual impatient cunt he is, did the job of taking off Chanyeol's shirt before holding his cock with his hand. Chanyeol grabs his locks, moaning through their wet kisses.

"Put that lips to use, babe." he said, his voice now hoarse. He leans on the kitchen counter while his forehead forms a thin sheet of sweat.

Baekhyun kneels between his legs, his eyes on his shaft like it's a treat. He does the magic, starting off on the head before gradually letting it in inside his mouth.

"That's right, baby... Oh _fuck_— so _fucking _good." Chanyeol holds him by the hair, his head tilting back deliriously. Chanyeol can feel him getting even harder because of the pleasure. He stares directly at Baekhyun's eyes, internally cussing at how he looks so beautiful especially right between his legs.

Baekhyun bobs his head deeper, he could feel the tip of his cock reaching his throat. He holds onto Chanyeol's ass, his eyes slightly tearing up as the taller starts thrusting in his mouth. Chanyeol lets out another growl, his cock twitches inside his warm cavern. Baekhyun pulls away slightly to let his come drip in his mouth. Chanyeol furiously pumps it to finish off, squirting some on the Baekhyun's cheeks.

Baekhyun stands up, his eyes on Chanyeol's face as the other gently wipes his lips. Baekhyun pulls his hand away, as he drew closer. His hands are placed on Chanyeol's chiseled chest, down to his six-pack.

"Now, Chanyeol... Please." he pleaded, holding the hem of his shirt when Chanyeol stops him.

"Don't." he orders, a teasing curve forming on his lips. "I want you in that shirt when I'm fucking you."

Baekhyun wasn't even able to respond on his remarks anymore. He's bent down on the marble counter, his cheek almost touching the cold surface of it. He closes his eyes tight while Chanyeol traces his hole with his bare fingers. He slaps it hard with his palm, admiring how the smaller's cheeks goes red from being fair white.

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol's hand leaving him and he was left hanging for a minute, fighting the urge to move and look behind for where Chanyeol had gone to. But then he feels a very cold sticky substance on his ass that got his breath hitching. For a second he thought it was lube. But when he tilts his head to look at Chanyeol who's smirking behind him, he's holding a familiar bottle that had him gasping on his place.

"Chanyeol, you fucking asshole!" he whines as he Chanyeol starts putting in his fingers on his coated hole, "That's a fucking maple syrup!"

"C'mon, you don't wanna get fucked raw, do you?" he starts tracing the tip of his cock on Baekhyun's hole, his foot spreading the smaller's legs even wider. He pours more syrup on his ass, placing some on his dick while his other hand slightly lifts up Baekhyun's shirt. He watches how Baekhyun whimpers in frustration while the sweet syrup lewdly streams down on his prepared ass and his own cock. He pushes inside without any hesistations.

"_Oh, yeah, fuck..." _Baekhyun curses under his breath when his body starts moving up and down the counter as Chanyeol starts to fuck him relentlessly. He gets delirious just by the pace Chanyeol is taking and the friction the drying syrup makes against his walls and his cock. His eyes start watering with the pleasure as he shamelessly screams out erotic noises while he's being fucked from behind, "Ah! _Hmm yeah_, just like that baby. Oh _god_!" he screams when Chanyeol doesn't even need to try hard to reach his spot. The taller takes his reactions as a cue to continue thrusting on that flesh. Baekhyun is a mess.

A beautiful mess right under him.

Chanyeol continues to thrust hard and fast, hoarsely whispering sweet yet nasty things with his intense deep voice.

He pulls and harshly goes back in. "You like that, baby?" Baekhyun clenches around him, his loud cries continuing.

"Yes! _Oh, yes_ baby I-I love it. More..._please _more..." he begs desperately, meeting every thrusts the taller gives.

Chanyeol continues to ram inside. And when he feels Baekhyun clenching once more, he takes hold of the brunette's equally hard dick to stop him from cumming, then he pulls out to turn him around.

"_Fuck_, Chanyeol! Ah―shit..." he whines when his climax got interrupted.

"Let me come, Yeol...please..."

"Not yet."

He weakly lets his body fall on his arms, unaware of the things happening. Chanyeol lifts him up and places him over the dining table. He lays on his back, his hair sticking on his temples because of sweat. The heavy rainfall doesn't even affect the hotness in the kitchen.

Chanyeol stares at him before deciding to completely take off his shirt and throw it aside. Baekhyun's now bare naked in front of him. He pushes back inside his hole, then grabs the bottle of syrup to pour some on his thrusting cock. Baekhyun breathes heavily through his mouth as it opens for his profanities. Chanyeol wraps his legs around his waist, thrusting harder, balls deep. Baekhyun feels the same cold syrup streaming on his chest and front torso. His fingers dig deeper on the hard surface, feeling Chanyeol's shallow huffs on his Adam's apple, before his tongue sensually roams on his sweetly coated skin. Chanyeol eats him like a treat, following the trails of the sticky substance with his mouth, abusing his skin to leave some marks.

Baekhyun begs. For so many times. He begs him to go deeper, faster, _wilder. _Despite the roughness of Chanyeol's actions, there's still something delicate about it, as if securing him and keeping him safe. And that's what Baekhyun can't get enough of. This is what he can't even afford losing.

He hangs the smaller's left leg over his shoulders, getting a better angle to thrust more and more. His balls are slapping against his cheeks as the tip of his cock repeatedly hits the brunette's prostate. Baekhyun's lusty screams and pleads stand out from the loud noise of the rainfall and thunderstorms outside.

Chanyeol lets out a loud and deep moan as the table rocks in movement when the pressure takes over his body. His head tilts above as he completely reaches his climax, spurting every drop of his cream inside Baekhyun's stretched hole with his faint thrusts. Baekhyun's moans become a lot more shaky as he soon sees the stars above his head, finding his release and squirting them on both their abdomens.

Baekhyun's legs fall from his hold, swinging on the edge of the table. The loud noise from the outside is the only thing to be heard aside from their ragged breaths. Chanyeol needed to rest both his hands on the table as he catches his breath. Baekhyun lies down exhaustedly with his eyes closed, almost as if he's sleeping, aside from the fact that he's still panting irregularly.

"I hate you so much..." Baekhyun glares at him in frustration after collecting his sanity, "Urgh! I can't move, it's so sticky!" he frowns while looking down on his stained body.

"Why are you always taking it back when you tell me you love me?" Chanyeol wipes his stained kitchen counter and chair, ignoring how Baekhyun can't even move a bit. Baekhyun continues to grouse with his whiny voice, "Shut it, Baekhyun. You think I've forgiven you?"

"Well after you straight up cockblock me and put a pancake syrup on my body and my ass, you should!"

"God, you're so annoying." Chanyeol clicks his tongue, ignoring how Baekhyun continues to rant on him even while he's reaching for his arm to help him sit up. That's just how Baekhyun is. Chanyeol wants him that way.

"C'mon. Let's wash up in the shower upstairs." he picks up their clothes before carrying Baekhyun on his arms, "So you can clean up and you'll finally shut up."

"You put some inside my ass!" Baekhyun can't even keep himself still while Chanyeol carries him, whining right on his face. "what if ants come inside me?" Chanyeol sighs heavily.

"I'll clean it up with my dick, happy now baby?"  
  
  
  


After finishing their second, or third― or maybe fourth round in the bathroom, Baekhyun ends up curled up in his arms on the bed. He watches how his eyes slowly close in exhaustion, only an inch away from his face. He could feel his soft breathing on his face and he can't help smiling.

"Baek," Chanyeol whispers, hoping that the smaller is still awake to hear his request. He hears a gentle hum, indicating he's still listening, "will you say that again?"

"Hmm? Say what?" Baekhyun shifts closer, eyes still closed as he feels Chanyeol's warmth.

"That...you love me."

Baekhyun slowly opens his eyes. Chanyeol's gaze is soft despite being demanding.

"But I've said it too many times already."

"Come on..."

"Why?"

Chanyeol sighs. He smiles a bit, he expected that Baekhyun wouldn't say such thing out of the blue. He's just not the type.

"Nothing..." Chanyeol gives an assuring smile, hugging him closer. "I just want to hear it from you more often."

Baekhyun stares at him. Chanyeol closes his eyes to try to sleep but he only opens them again, seeing that Baekhyun still stares at his face.

"You don't need to be jealous of anyone because I love you, Chanyeol." his smile fades off when Baekhyun actually said it without blinking. Baekhyun rests his head on his chest, finding a comfortable position. "Even if you don't hear it from me all the time, you know it."

"Baek." he whispers against his hair, pulling Baekhyun's head closer to his chest, probably to show evidence. "Move in with me."

Baekhyun tilts his head up to look at him. His mouth opens in awe.

Chanyeol softly stares back at him.

"Please...just, let me take care of you."

Baekhyun doesn't answer and Chanyeol actually expects what he'll possibly say. Although it won't let him sleep if he doesn't try.

"Well―uh, it's fine if you don't want ri―"

"Okay..." Baekhyun quietly answers, making him completely taken aback. "Fine. I'll live with you."

"Wait...you will..."

"But conditions, Chanyeol." he muttered against his chest, "You still have to respect my personal space. No clinging all the time. We pay the bills equally together." Chanyeol doesn't even mind any of this, he's busy smiling on his own.

"Okay?"

"Fine. Is that it?" Chanyeol places a quick peck over his head. Baekhyun looks up, resting his chin on his chest.

"Sex doesn't come every night. When I have to work early the next day, you should control your dick okay?" he raises his brow, Chanyeol grins wider. Although he got no choice but to agree, they will just have to see when it comes.

"I'm serious, Chanyeol!"

"Fine." Chanyeol answers. Baekhyun goes back to making his chest his pillow, completely planning to start resting into a deep slumber. Chanyeol plays with his hair to help him get sleepier.

"I hope there's a concrete label between us now, after all we're soon to live under the same roof." Chanyeol's nose crinkles, "I'm not only your friend anymore, okay Baek?"

Baekhyun only hums. His arm wraps comfortably around his human pillow.

"Do we really need that?" he asked before he dozes off into sleep.  
  


  
  
x  
  


Baekhyun greets the girl at the front desk before proceeding to where his mother is. He firmly grips the box on his hands, while the other combs his styled hair.

"Oh, sweetheart."

"Happy birthday!" she welcomes her with open arms, hugging her only son tight to show her excitement. Baekhyun hands her the box as soon as she pulls away.

"But tomorrow's my birthday..." she said but she smiles widely.

"Yeah, but I'm working whole day tomorrow. I'll just catch up over dinner, remember? So I thought I should just spend a little time earlier with you."

"You're so sweet. Oh, is Chanyeol coming tomorrow?" her tone is very hopeful.

"Uh, Mom..."

"Don't worry, they're not coming. They told me yesterday. Bring him with you!" she insisted. Baekhyun had no choice but to agree on granting her wish.

Although he can't help but feel bad for his mother. It's her birthday today, yet she's working hard in the office, piled up with work and agendas their recent problems left for her to handle. She's not used to this. Yes, she knows how this things work but she can't do this all on her own. Given the fact that their company isn't even based here, but overseas. His father has left everything for his mother to take over. And even if she respects Baekhyun's decision to not get involved in this business, he knows well that she needs a helping hand. And he's guilty that he can't even give it to her as her son.

"I'm so glad we were able to catch up even for a while, but I got a meeting in a few, Baek..." she said, disappointed as they both stand up to finish their conversation. Her secretary just knocked on the door to remind her about her 3-o'clock meeting.

"Mom, if you...need anything I can―"

"No. No, I'm doing good sweetie. Just focus on your job and what makes you happy. I can do this on my own." she smiled. Baekhyun forces a smile too, hugging her once more.

"I'll tell the driver to take you home."

"No need. I'm meeting Heechul and Jieun later."

"Alright." she nods, "Listen to Chanyeol, okay? Let him take care of you."

"Mom..." Baekhyun sighs, "don't trust everything to Chanyeol, you barely know that guy!" he said, talking shit about his own man. Mrs. Byun clicks her tongue.

"Baekhyun. I'm serious." she says sternly, "I mean... if anything happens, he'll be the only one left to take care of you and―"

"Why? Are you leaving?" Baekhyun blinks. His gaze screams confusion. Mrs. Byun doesn't respond instantly.

"Are you leaving me?"

"No. Of course not. I mean...just―" she stuttered.

"Mrs. Byun, the investors are waiting for you in the conference room." her secretary cuts off. She nods in response before looking back at Baekhyun, who's still clueless.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Baekhyun. Thanks for the gift..." she kisses his cheek, "love you, sweetheart." she smiles again before going out.

Baekhyun blankly remains on his spot.

  
  
  
x  
  


"Helloooooooo!" Baekhyun cringes when Jieun's already screaming even if he hasn't really reached their table yet. Heechul, who knows how to calm the shit down, only waves at him. He sits down in front of them after their suffocating hugs.

"How's getting rid of us?" Jieun asks before laughing, "Kidding! How's your new job? Is it fun? Are there any hot guys there?" she asked continuously, earning her an eyeroll from Heechul.

"It's great." Baekhyun grins, "no hot guys, I mean...at least not hotter than what I got. The work is somehow refreshing to me. The people are nice too." Jieun continues to whine and giggle a lot as he continues to tell stories. Heechul cuts him off every now and then to insert his usual sassy remarks.

He misses them. So much.

"You moved in to Chanyeol's house, didn't you?" Heechul brings up between their meal. Jieun shifts closer to hear more details about this.

"Yes, weeks ago." Baekhyun shortly answers, unaware of their intriguing looks. When he looks up, his brows raise.

"What?"

"That's it?" Heechul grimaced.

"Tell us more!" Jieun demands, but immediately takes it back. "Oh forget it. I don't wanna hear about your sexcapades." she hissed. Heechul glares at her with disbelief.

"Are you kidding? That's what I want to hear!" Heechul slaps the table, "How is it? Every night? Table? Couch? Garden?"

"Yuuuuuck!" Jieun squealed. Baekhyun chuckles.

"Right. Pretty much everywhere."

"Oh stop it!" she covers her ears that made Heechul scowl at her.

"Virgin." he teased the girl but Jieun only slaps his arm. They talk a lot about different things on their way to the cinema. Jieun tells them about her new fling she met on Tinder. The two of them continue to bully her like how they usually do. It was just fun. Fun times Baekhyun craves for like before.

After watching the film, they agreed to go to the grocery store to buy some stocks. As soon as they reached the long line for the cashier, Baekhyun slaps his forehead.

"Oh right, I forgot Chanyeol's ion drink. I'll go run for it." he told the two.

"Be quick!" they said as he excuses himself among the crowd of people. Heechul and Jieun continue their conversation when Heechul suddenly stops talking.

"Wait. Is that―?" Jieun looks over to where he's looking, then back to his friend whose eyes are widening. She cusses.

"Oh shit."   
  


"I told you this brand is overpriced! Why won't you just change it?" he hissed with his phone over his ear. He can hear Chanyeol yelling back at him from the other line, not wanting to give up his favorite brand, "God...fine! Pay me once I get home okay!" he hangs up before grabbing three of the bottled drinks. His eyes traveled on the set of drinks from the fridges. He stops when his eyes go back in front, meeting someone unwanted.

Shein looks at him, equally surprised. She gulps as she looks around, probably looking for her sister who's nowhere to be seen before looking back at Baekhyun with the same cold expression.

"Nice seeing you here."

"It's not nice seeing you here."

Baekhyun snaps back. Shein laughs at his feisty response. Baekhyun grins sarcastically, she still looks crazy. You know someone who's really pretty but she also seems to be a complete psycho? That's her.

"Chill! No one's going to hurt you here, little Byunnie." she mocked, obviously insensitive enough to turn her wrongdoings into a joke.

"Let's hope no one gets hurt." he answers, hitting his palm with the bottles. "So if you'll excuse me."

"Aren't you going to thank me for letting you live your life happily right now? Be thankful that I love my Mom so much, I let go of your betrayal against me Baek." she clenches her jaw, recalling Chanyeol in her mind.

"Thank you. Thank you, Shein. You don't know how thankful I am, like really." he sarcastically said, faking a tearful eye before giving a mocking smile. _Bitch thinks she's the victim again._

He catches a glimpse of her hardening expression before he walks away, but she continues to speak.

"Oh Chanyeol...I advise, Baek, make the most out of it. While he's still having fun with you."

Baekhyun can't help looking back at her with the mention of Chanyeol's name. The name he doesn't want this woman mouthing anymore. She smirks at his sudden interest.

"Chanyeol, he's not gay Baekhyun. He wasn't, he is not and he'll never be. Right now, he's just confused. He's still having fun fucking your brains out so he's still conflicted. Whatever it is dear, it's lust. Two cents." she smiles.

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at her.

"Is this how desperate you are, Shein?"

"It's really hard if you don't know him that much, isn't it?" she still wears that sick smile on her face that makes Baekhyun's hand ball into fists, "10 years, Baekhyun. I'm just reminding you. I was with him for 10 years. Just because you fuck gay people doesn't mean you are one, right?" she laughs.

"Oh fuck off."

She fakes a serious face, "Do you really think...he doesn't dream of having children and a family of his own one day? hmm?" she grins again before pulling the trolley as she steps back, "have some woman strip off in front of him and he'll wake up from his delusions, cous. And that includes you." she flashes her teeth in a wide smile before completely walking away.

Baekhyun blinks. He doesn't notice how he stood in the same spot for almost a minute, until a bottle of his drink falls off from his loose grip. He jumps in surprise before running back to the cashier lane. He sees his friends letting another customer go first because of waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" they asked, observing his every move. Baekhyun places the drinks in their cart.

"Oh, I just...didn't find this quick." he looks back at their meaningful gazes.

"Baek, you didn't..."

"What?"

"Maybe she isn't here." Heechul sighs in relief, "Well we kinda saw Shein's sister, so we were worried that she might be here and you may have run into her." Baekhyun looks at their groceries.

"Oh. Is that so?" he responded quietly. He bites his lip hard.

"Baek, you alright?" Jieun asked when Baekhyun perspires.

He raises his brows, then fans himself with his hands. "I am. It's just so hot here, isn't it?" he wipes his forehead before engaging into a casual conversation with them again. Or most likely, trying to drift himself off from the thoughts that should not bother him.  
  
  
  


Baekhyun contemplates for a while before he decides to hop off his car. As much as possible, he doesn't want to stress himself over petty things. He should be long done with the phase of letting his cousin's words affect him. He exhaustedly carries all his grocery bags out from his trunk before walking inside his home. Even from the outside, he can hear laughter from different people.

Before he can even open the door, it is opened by Chanyeol, who's laughing. Beside him is Mihawk, and a girl. He stares longer at the last one.

"Oh, this is Baekhyun..." Chanyeol introduces him, Baekhyun wants to deny how he anticipates Chanyeol's following label of him. "he lives here too."

"Baekhyun! We met before, right?" Mihawk taps his arm.

"Right. Mihawk." he confirms, "And you are?" he asked the girl with them.

"Hello. I'm Hojung." she bows at him, Baekhyun doesn't even bother bowing back or even smiling. He hands Chanyeol the heavy grocery bag before walking past them to go inside.

He sits on the couch and starts taking off his shoes. He can hear their laughter and last goodbyes before he finally hears the door closing. Baekhyun can't even bring himself into showing enthusiasm.

"Why is this so heavy? What have you bought?" Chanyeol casually asks as he carries the bag to the table, oblivious of Baekhyun's silence.

"Hey. Baek."

"Who's that?" he asks, keeping his voice casual. "The girl?"

"Oh. She told you right? That's―"

"I know the name. Who's she? Why is she here? Why are you laughing that hard? I can't relate." Baekhyun continuously asked without looking at Chanyeol as he proceeds to taking off his socks.

"Well...Mihawk's kinda pulling some old shit he has." Chanyeol said, a trace of laugh still on his face.

"Old shit?"

"Hojung and I kinda dated way back in college so he's―"

"Oh, she's your ex." Baekhyun only leans on the couch, watching him talk.

"You can put it that way. But that was ages ago. We're even civil with each other." Chanyeol starts feeling the need to explain right now, "She only came here because she'll record some songs in my studio. Mihawk helps her. She's a singer, that's why."

"Nice."

Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun, whose face is unreadable, as if he's going back to the time when he doesn't have any idea what runs inside Baekhyun's mind.

"Baekhyun, are you okay?" he seriously asked when Baekhyun seems so different.

"Yep. I'm just tired. I'll sleep now." Baekhyun stands up, not even bothering to give him a goodnight kiss. He talks again as he goes up the stairs to their room, "Next time, don't bring other people here. I'm not comfortable having strangers in the house." he said before Chanyeol completely loses sight of him.

Baekhyun only tries so hard to forget. Forget about those possible delusions, that may include him.


	25. 24-Hello Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: ** first person's POV **

**B**

Pure bliss, it is.

I feel like I'm not in the right mind, yet it feels good. Great, even. I can't even explain how Chanyeol does such things to me. He knows it, where to touch, how to bring me up to seventh heaven. He just knows me too well.

You know that part when you feel like you've reached the farthest extent of happiness?

Yet there's still something holding you back?

"_Oh baby,_ you feel so good..." he whispered on my neck. I divert my attention to kissing him again, trying to suppress a scream when he thrusts harder. I could feel his rough hands gripping on my waist, trying to keep it still when I feel the drowsiness coming into my senses.

"I'm coming Y-Yeol..." I stuttered as I catch my breath. I could feel myself clenching around him, the pleasure intensifies in me.

"Yes... Come on me, babe. Right now. _Oh..._" he whispers a lot of words with his every move. After a few seconds of almost losing my voice, I spill my cream onto my bare torso. My head feels so light and my mouth flew open as I gasp for breath. Chanyeol fills me in soon after, his movements become sloppier before he completely falls on the space beside me.

"Am I too rough?" I heard him ask after we both catch our breath. His arms snake around my waist while I keep my eyes shut.

"No." I mumbled under my breath. My chest is still heaving.

"I think I was..." he says through muffled speech, his arm pulls me closer. "I told you we shouldn't get that hard. We're both tired from work." he added. I open my eyes to see his gaze directed at me.

I flash a smile, shifting sideways to hug him back and bury my face on his chest. He flinches when it tickles a bit. Right then, my heart is just full.

"A hot sex is the only thing that can save such a godforsaken day, that's why." he lets out a cheeky grin. My eyes felt heavy when exhaustion starts to take over my system. I can't even feel my waist anymore. The hell with that.

"Baek." he calls after a long silence. My eyelids are drooping down on their own so I just hum back, getting sleepier with his hand on my hair. "I want to produce music." he said out of the blue.

"Mmm, you do baby." I responded. I'm so, so sleepy.

"I'm serious." he paused again. I could feel his breath on my forehead. I badly want to sleep now but I also can't, knowing that I have to listen to what he's about to say. "I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I want to invest and take a notch higher. I just have to look for people and ways that share the same talent and dream that I have and I'll take a risk." I open my eyes as I listen. He's really serious about this.

I tilt my head up to look at him. His serious gaze on the ceiling falls on mine.

"What do you think?"

"Will it make you happy?"

His lips curve into a small smile. He doesn't answer, but it's enough for me. I know how he wants this so bad.

"It will, so do it Yeol." I smile back, "You told me that ever since, music has been your passion. There shouldn't be an argument if you're happy about it." he smiles wider and my heart flutters even more. Goddamn, how smitten am I?

I look away.

He holds me closer. The way he sighs in relief makes me think that he only needed my support and assurance regarding this. And I'm happy about it. I am. I just don't know why the hell can't I do the same.

"Tell you what, Baek, I got it all planned in my head." he says, all the exhaustion seems to fade away from his voice. And I fought the urge to close my eyes. If this is his only dream and it matters that much to him, then I must listen. "I'll collect the songs I have written, I can even write more. I'll ask help from my friends and old acquaintances that are in the same field. Then I'll find unique talents that can showcase the songs and take a risk on training them. I'll expand and get a bigger studio. I'm thinking about constructing a building or buying an existing one somewhere in the middle of Seoul. What do you think?"

My jaw almost drops. I didn't even imagine he had already come up with such details. It was... well-constructed.

"Wow, that's amazing Yeol..."

"Right?" he chuckled before exhaling a deep breath, "I wanna be known for this. Someday I'll be able to produce quality music and gain recognition. I'll have my own name in the music industry. Producer Park? Sounds dope, right? How good must it feels. To work for both your dream and for others."

It is._ It is, Chanyeol._

"I really want to leave a good mark and impression to the people. Earn legacy. For something that I've always wanted to do. And one day, my children will be able to look up to me and pursue what they're most passionate about as well." I could tell that he's smiling so big, and I can't even manage to do the same. Something in my chest is twisting. And I can't even figure out exactly why. Chanyeol has always been like this, always so futuristic about things. He always has everything sorted out in his mind.

His dream is so perfect. It is not far from reality. With all the talent and potential he has? I've always been sure he'll be able to do big out there. It was picture perfect. The life he tells me he wants to have, I can visualize it all.

Only thing is, no difference is made when I'm not in that picture.

It's still so...perfect. Better, even.

"What do you think, Baek?" he asked again, I wasn't even able to comprehend the words he just said. I was too occupied. But all I did is nod, even if I can't bring myself into the same joy for myself.

"Wherever you're happy, Yeol." I assured him. Shrugging off all the doubts I have for myself and for everything, I just assured him.

x

Today, Mom asked me to go to her house with Chanyeol tonight for dinner. But since I'm such a good son, I decided to buy some treats first before going there. We haven't really seen each other since her birthday and I kinda miss her. I'm actually thinking about dumping Chanyeol to go back home instead but we all know she wouldn't let me.

On that note, she's been out of reach lately. Maybe she's just very busy. I do hope she lets herself rest. She doesn't look fine to me last time.

"Hello," the lady on the cashier smiles back at me, "Can I have the chocolate mousse cake?" I can't help but smile as I pay for it. I'm just excited to finally see my Mom again.

My phone starts vibrating when I was about to claim my order. As soon as I step outside the shop, I picked it up. It must be Mom now.

"Mr. Byun?"

"Oh..." I utter in awe, "Soeun?" I recognized the voice of the head staff in my mother's house. But why would she call me?

"Yes, it's me. Uhm..." she reluctantly pauses, "I called because your Mom said she won't be able to make it to your dinner tonight."

"Why?" But we planned for this a long time ago!

"Well..." she pauses again, making me even more curious. "she had an urgent meeting in the office so she won't be making it." she said, sounding formal.

"Is that so..." my Mom won't let me know it like this! She would never even make work as a priority over our plans.

"I'm very sorry about this..." she mumbled.

"It's fine. I'll just tell Chanyeol about it." I assured her before hanging up. I texted Chanyeol that we will not push through dinner at Mom's. But I drove there nevertheless.

Something's off. And I feel it.

I find myself standing in front of the tall gate outside her big house, slightly contemplating if I made the right choice or completely wasted my time. Nonetheless, I was greeted by a few guards when I came in. I see there are still a lot of them here. It's good. We'll never know if my twisted father still got plans in his head.

"Mr Byun." one of them bows at me, I look around. "Are you here for the dinner?" he asked before glancing at the box of desert on my hand. I look at him in confusion. I thought we will not push through? Then why do they still seem to expect my arrival?

"I told you to just call me Baekhyun. Drop the formalities." I force a chuckle when I still feel the need to ask a lot. Though I decided not to say anything, "Well...yes. Uhm, what time is she arriving?" he creases his forehead but still smiles after.

"She's been here since afternoon." he said. My heart thumps a little faster. Why would she postpone it then?

"She doesn't...have a meeting tonight?" what has Soeun been telling me?

The guard shakes his head.

"She came home earlier than the usual. Maybe she's in her room now, Sir." his speech becomes slower, obviously becoming reluctant of the things he tells me. Too late, I think I've figured it out.

"Okay..." I gulp, forcing a smile to assure him. "by the way, where's Soeun?" I know she lied a while ago. It is very unlikely of my mother to do that.

"I think she's inside too..." this time, he looks like he also figured out that he told me too much information, "do you want me to check fir-"

"No, no need." I smile while shaking my head, "I'll do it. Thanks though!"

He opens his mouth to maybe try to stop me but I started stepping my way inside the house. It's very silent. I roam my eyes around but Mom is nowhere to be seen. Few maids saw me and they look surprised. I continue finding her.

I can hear the faint sound from my pocket, playing a familiar ringtone that is only for Chanyeol. I wasn't able to even spare it a minute to answer. I let it play continuously in my pocket before it eventually stops. Right at the moment I bump into Soeun herself.

Her eyes widen when she faces me. Then she looks away before gulping. I tilt my head to catch her gaze but my gaze falls on the medicine kit on her hands. I was even more bothered.

"I thought Mom has an urgent meeting?" I asked seriously. Panic is evident on her face. She can't even answer me.

"Mr. Byun-"

"What is happening?" I ask, demanding an immediate answer. She blinks in panic, "Why did you have to tell me that?"

She continues to freeze on her spot before we both hear my Mom vomiting inside her room. It sounded so forced and painful that I had my breath hitched for a moment. I look at her, we both are alarmed.

"What was that?" I ask when she quickly finds her way back to the hall, completely dismissing my demands. "W-What's happening to her? Wait! I want to go inside-"

"Baekhyun please...she's not feeling well..." I can still hear her throwing up inside her room and my hands are now trembling. Soeun won't even let me in as she blocks the door, "go home first and I'll-"

Fear and irritation start drawing in me.

"You don't fucking tell me to go home in this state!" fortunately, I manage to keep my voice from shaking. "I just want to see my Mom!" I wasn't able to stop myself when I shoved her away to step inside.

"Eomma..."

She looks up to me from weakly leaning on the tub in front of her.

She's beautiful. Just this time, her usual lively eyes are bloodshot, tired. Her usual glow is gone and her color seems to be sucked off from her body. Her shoulders are heaving. She smiles though, even how weak it has turned out.

My heart is breaking.

"S-Soeun...water..." she mumbles through her breath. Soeun was alerted from her dumbfounded state and continued moving. Mom blankly stares at the floor, as if she's too weak to comprehend anything.

I remain standing on the same spot, confused...afraid.

What's happening to her? Never in my worst nightmares have I ever imagined seeing my mother in such state. My knees are wobbling so much right now.

I was silent, still on my feet. I was visibly shaken. I watch Soeun guide her into drinking water. When she finishes wiping Mom's face, she glances back at me. Her eyes scream so much sympathy.

Possibilities enter my mind. And there's nothing I can accept from them. Never.

"Soeun... Leave us f-first..." she muttered weakly. She can't even keep her voice still.

Soeun looks back at me before she walks out of the room, leaving the both of us alone in an agonizing silence.

She doesn't say anything. It's as if she's waiting for me to talk first before she says something.

I manage to walk towards her. I lift her up from the floor and make her lay down on her bed. I comb her hair away from her face, biting my lip harder.

"Ma..." my voice breaks, "w-what's happening..."

She only looks at me. I try to keep myself composed as I fix her comforter but I end up failing.

I'm just...so afraid.

"Baekhyun-ah..." I feel her hands on my cheeks, "oh, don't cry." she hushed. I notice the tears on the side of my eyes.

"I-I'm so confused..." I stutter, glancing around her room. "Why were you throwing up like that? Are you sick, Mom?"

She looks straight at me. My chest won't stop beating fast while I wait for her response.

"I didn't want to tell you...." she smiled as if everything is fine. I don't even know how she does that.

"Well...you know, just a little problem in my body." she lets out a faint laugh before tapping her abdominal area. My brows crease in confusion.

She sighs heavily.

"Pancreatic cancer, stage 3."

I stare at her for a while, not being able to process everything.

How?

I want to disagree. She's healthy. She never had a bad lifestyle. I can't accept this. No fucking way.

More than anything else, my Mom isn't a bad person. If anyone has to be infected by that goddamn disease, then why her? Why must she suffer this way?

"Oh god..." my voice breaks as I shut my eyes close. I rub them furiously with my knuckles, "how come I didn't know?"

"It's a recurrence..." she states while grabbing my hands that are on my eyes, "I've h-had it...years ago. I thought I was fully recovered after a surgery. And this year, the signs started showing again. It was diagnosed once more." she explained. I could see her trying so hard to keep it casual for me to calm down but I just know her better. I can see how much this hurts her. And I can't help breaking down.

"Sweetheart..."

"Why aren't you seeking medical help? Mom!" my voice raised unconsciously. Right now, I just feel like I'm willing to pay every goddamn specialist for this case. I can't watch her like this.

"I..." she pauses, gulping as she reluctantly tries to answer. "I don't think I still can... I've been through this long ago. I don't want to be in the same hell as I was. And the company...the company needs me. I should not show any sign of weakness at this time. Especially this time, Baek. I'm the only one it has." she shakes her head, gripping my hand tighter.

My chest feels heavier. Those times. Those _fucking _times I was away from home, living a careless life, holding the biggest grudge against my mother— she was facing this disease alone. She was in a hell hole while I forgot about her. I am the worst.

God, _I hate myself._ So much.

I look at her with my bloodshot eyes. She watches me, obviously hurt as well. And yet she can't do anything. I never wanted to be in this scenario with her. I never imagined this when we reconciled.

"When you told me..." I gulp between my sobs, "if I wanted to..."

She immediately shakes her head.

"No, no. I just asked you about that because I had the chance. If you don't want to then don't, Baekhyun. Please." she says. She pauses when she winces in pain from her stomach again, then continues, "Listen to me. You are happy here. I will never risk that for my condition. I will never force you into doing something you're not happy with. We're done with that phase. I want you to be happy. That's what I want, Baekhyun. Everything I want." my jaw hardens and I feel my eyes watering again. It's just so unfair.

I feel so terrible. When I thought I'm finally moving on from my biggest guilt, this comes. I can't afford losing my mother, not even entertaining the idea of it. We still have so little time with each other. And I know that this isn't a small problem I can dismiss. My heart breaks with the thought of her being like this every night without me by her side.

If something happens to her, I will only blame myself.

"You think I can be happy when you're suffering like this?" the pain in my voice is evident. It just hurts so much. The guilt and fear are slowly eating me up.

"Baek..."

"Please. Just let me help you right now. Let's talk about our further plans when you feel okay. Have some rest, Mom." I plead when I notice how ragged her breathing is right now. I made sure she took her medicine before putting her to sleep. I let her hug me tight like her little son, until her arms felt light around me and her breathing became stable. I slowly got off the bed and placed a light kiss on her forehead.

When I went outside her room, I saw Soeun leaning on the wall outside, waiting. When she sees me, she straightens up and looks at the floor. I gaze at her seriously.

"Are you the only one who knows about this?" I asked. She looks at me this time, slowly shaking her head. I stare at her as if implying that I'm not tolerating any lies from her right now.

I just want the truth because I'm tired.

"Everyone knows?" I asked again when she didn't talk.

"I d-don't know...but she told your Aunts so she told me once that your cousins may have heard about this too. Maybe...they were just told not to tell you..." she mumbled.

"Like how you were told?" I sarcastically asked that made her become even more stiff.

All this time, I've been looking stupid. Of all people, I should be the one to know about my Mom's condition and here I am, accidentally finding it out on my own.

Fuck it. When are they planning to tell me? When she's on a death bed where the only thing I can do is bawl my eyes out?

"I'm sorry. I really am... she just pleaded not to tell you yet."

I sighed, deciding not to make this bigger tonight. I am exhausted. We all probably are.

I take a step forward that made her gulp.

"Listen," I try keeping my voice down, "I need you to do this for me."

My chest feels heavier as soon as I step out of the main office. Fortunately, I managed to smile at some people in the office who also became my friends. Although I remained silent when they asked me why I came back suddenly tonight, hours after my shift. It was just hard to explain. Good thing they also noticed I was quite worn out, so they let it go. They just didn't know how they helped me a lot, by letting me be on my own for now.

I sighed in relief when I reached the last step to the rooftop. I exhaled deep breaths and scrunched my face as soon as the bright light greets me closer.

I was about to walk to my usual spot when I spot a figure. I drew closer.

"Mr Kang?" the security staff turns around right after I called him. The little smile on my face fades off when I saw his expression. It looks like he's so conflicted about something. I've never seen him like this. He's been known here for his always smiling face and jolly attitude. And I've seen that since I first met him here. I began to get worried.

"Are you okay? What happened?" I asked. I dismissed the fact that I needed to comfort myself because the man obviously has a problem too.

"A-Ah Mr Byun..." he forces a big smile, I cringed with the ingenuity. "Nothing... I just went to catch some air. I...what are you doing here? Your shift is done, right?" he stuttered. I only stared at him, trying to read his expressions. He looks away.

"Is there something wrong?" I persistently ask. He continuously shakes his head but I wasn't convinced, "Please. You can tell me. I'll listen." I rubbed his arm when he bites his lip to prevent himself from sobbing suddenly.

He blinks a few times.

"The COO finally found a buyer for this establishment. They'll restart everything, the building, the people...everything. They will ruin this..." he glances at the light beacon behind us, "I will lose my job, Sir..."

I was dumbfounded. I've heard about this before, that the management is already planning to sell the company. But I didn't know it was serious.

Many people will lose their jobs if ever.

I unconsciously stare back at the bright beacon behind me. The one with the greatest sentimental value here.

"But...what did the former chairman say? Did he allow it?" I asked out of curiosity.

"He was here this afternoon. The old man did all he can to go here and join the board meeting. But it was a majority decision. If you just saw how devastated he was... he was here for more than an hour. Alone." he said.

I gulped. He must be really hurt. Even I, who only go here to spend time to think better and admire this light, has already considered this valuable. What more to him who built it?

I was drifted off my thoughts when I heard Mr Kang's faint sniffing beside me. I patted his back, my heart is hurting because I know how important this job is to him and I can't even do anything.

"I-I've been here for God knows how long and I'll just lose it this way. I don't think I can leave this place..." he says, "where will I go? My family...My daughter just died after giving birth last month...I.." he wasn't able to finish his words because of so much emotion. My mouth flew open with what he said. Tears started forming on the corner of my eyes too, but I didn't want to dwell on it.

I never thought he's going through such pain. I can't imagine how he managed to smile all those times and even provide comfort to other people.

"I-I'm so sorry for your daughter...." my voice breaks, "Please don't cry...I'll help you find a job right then, I promise."

He instantly shakes his head.

"Oh no, Sir...It's okay. Don't bother yourself, I'm sure you have your own problems too. I know it. Don't worry about me..." he forced a smile. I was speechless. Those times he has seen me alone here was enough for him to see I'm going through things as well. And I didn't even notice how he's going through something worse.

"And besides..." he wipes his eyes before straightening up to fix himself, "I'm too old. I don't think anyone will hire me based on my expertise. I'll just...think of other ways..." he says as if he's assuring the both of us. But I know he's very lost.

"Please. If you need anything, don't hesitate to tell me." I know it's absurd for me to offer this when I'm finding it hard to stand on my own as well. But I just need the man to know he has someone willing to help.

He flashes me his usual bright smile. But right now, I can already see through it.

"Thank you...Mr Byun. You are very kind." he taps my arm, "I should go ahead...I'm on duty tonight. Take care." he said before walking away completely. My gaze follows him until he's lost from my sight. My mind is still processing everything.

Everything that happened today. Tonight, even.

I just saw the strongest people I know break down in front of me. And they both didn't deserve what life throws at them. All I can ask are a bunch of questions.

I look at the beacon in front of me, standing strong and bright. The light it emits is still blinding.

I thought it was made for the lost to find its way? Then what's happening? _Why is everything not making sense?_

I was dead tired as soon as I reached the house. It is almost midnight. I just want to remove my shoes and fell on the bed to sleep. I'll think about everything tomorrow. I need some time to think. It's so hard to process everything this once. I feel like everything is going against me.

"Where have you been?"

I cussed when a voice startled me. Chanyeol opens the lamp in the living room to give me a better look.

"You startled me." was the only thing I said before heading to the stairs.

"Where have you been?" I heard him ask again. He quickly catches up to my pace as he follows me up to the bedroom with a pillow on his arm.

"Mom's." I simply answered, I started changing my clothes so I can already sleep. He's sitting on the bed, watching me.

"The dinner was postponed."

"Yes, but I still went there and she arrived late so we had a good talk." I lied, not even sparing him a glance.

"I called there an hour ago and you weren't there."

I tiredly stared at him, he watches me seriously. "Because I was on my way home?"

He crosses his arms, raising his brows in disbelief. I sighed.

"I went back to the office because I forgot something. Okay?" I sat on the bed in so much frustration.

"Baekhyun. I was just asking you because I was worried." he says like a parent, "You were not answering my calls, what do you expect! I told you I get worried easily because it's my responsibility to take good care of you." he added, making me look at him.

He stares back at me, his face looked stunned when I suddenly fell silent.

_So that day... when she talked to him._

"Did you know about..." I mumbled. _No, maybe I'm wrong. _His brows crease from my barely audible words.

But it makes sense.

"What?" he asked, my chest thumped fast that it hurt. I lay down on my side and covered myself with a comforter as I turned my back on him.

"Nothing." I curved my body and hugged myself. I tried closing my eyes to start sleeping but the lump on my throat won't even let me.

I feel his weight on the space behind me. We're distant. It is a very tiny space. It feel so far away. I tried sleeping.

I thought he's already asleep after a few minutes of silence. But the lamp on the side table is turned off, covering us with total darkness. Right then, I feel him pulling me close from behind. His face nuzzles on my neck. I keep my eyes closed and my body still to imply that I'm asleep. But I feel too stiff against him.

His lips peck on my temple.

"I know you're tired." he whispers, "good night."

My eyes blankly stare into nothingness. He snuggles more comfortably against me but I feel no comfort for myself.

_Of course, Baekhyun. He knew about it too._

It was just me.

x

I woke up unusually late the next day. Chanyeol isn't there. For a moment, I sat still on the bed, mind blank. But after a few minutes, revelations from last night started hitting me like a truck. I needed to stand up and move before worse thoughts take over.

It's Saturday and probably one of the worst days ever. I hate having nothing to do. I can't simply sit here and stare into space or else I'll go mad.

I decided to go to my Mom's house again. I won't be able to last a day without checking up on her. Although I didn't stay long because she said she doesn't want me there to check on her everyday like a patient. Well, she is. But I didn't argue. I just made sure that she didn't try going to the office and drain herself again. She still doesn't look okay to me, though a lot better than last night.

Sehun's text message didn't even make me feel any better.

**From: Sehun**

_Don't forget tonight_

I sighed. Do I really have to go?

My phone vibrates again.

**From: Sehun**

_Don't u dare go MIA_

I smiled when he seemed to read my thoughts about being missing in action tonight. Fine. I'll go.

Even if I still can't accept that this might be the last time.

I remained seated in my car for a few minutes, contemplating whether I should go to Chanyeol's studio or just head home.

I've only been there once. He's always nagging me to go there but I couldn't. Partly because I'm busy. And I think I'll just be a bother when he should be concentrating. I don't want that.

And besides...

_Nevermind_.

I drove my way to his studio, which is nearer to my former workplace aka his current workplace. Chanyeol usually go there after working out in the morning. He spends long hours coming up with new music and accommodating singers who want to record a demo or actual songs.

I decided not to send him a message and make this a surprise visit. Knowing Chanyeol, he'll probably spend his time waiting for me without actually doing anything productive. Better not to tell him.

I bought some food for late lunch. I haven't eaten anything yet. I don't know about him but who cares. If he already ate then I'll eat this all on my own.

As expected, I look like a dumb lost child when I reached the place. I don't even know where to go and my ego still tells me not to call Chanyeol because the surprise will be spoiled. I end up sweating like hell when I was finally able to ask someone where he must be.

"Oh goodness..." I stopped and panted. This is tiring!

_"Dumbass!"_

I stood straight. I could hear voices inside the room where I think Chanyeol is. I think he has someone with him. I leaned on the wall outside to catch my breath first, unintentionally hearing their conversation.

_"What? We're living together. Isn't that given already?"_

_"Did you expect me to figure it out that instant?" _it's Mihawk. I can recognize his voice,_ "Last time I checked, you were head over hills with your girlfriend. And you were also living together. You were straight as a stick, Chanyeol! What happened?" _it was delivered as a joke but I could hear the serious curiosity in his voice. Well, I can't blame him, really.

Though I can't stop myself from anticipating his answer.

_"You will never understand. It just happened." _he casually answered. From the way I hear it, I can figure out that he's casually leaning on his chair and looking straight at his screen.

_It just happened._

_"What? Stop making that face, idiot!"_

_"I can't help it! My god, dude!" _Mihawk laughs. I remained standing outside the door. His voice becomes even fainter but I can still make the words out of it, _"how do you think your family will react when they hear about this?"_

I gulped. Now that I realize, I didn't think about it too. I don't even know anything about them except the basic details. Much more to meet them.

The way Chanyeol paused obviously implies how he was also taken aback by the thought. But he still responded.

_"When did I ever care about what they think? It's my life."_

_"How about a family of your own, Chanyeol?" _I stare at the floor when Mihawk seemed to cross the line I've been avoiding from the very start. I suddenly want to step back and just come back when they're finished, but my feet remained glued to the floor, _"You always said you want children of your own. What will happen to that?"_

Right.

He's right. Wherever you look at it, he's got a point.

Chanyeol paused again. And it's a longer pause. I don't even know if he will still answer it. Or if I want to hear it.

_"I don't want to think about that yet. It's in the far future." _he answers. It was not... _"Come what may, I'm just enjoying my life right now." _he added.

Not what I expected.

I smiled to myself. _Because what exactly do you expect, Baekhyun? That Chanyeol will have concrete plans of future with you when you don't even have one for yourself?_

_Seriously. Stop._

I stood up straight and held the plastic bags tighter. I cleared my throat and shook off these thoughts when Mihawk came out of the room. He almost stumbled when he saw me, his eyes slightly widening. His mouth opens, attempting to say something but backs out. I only smiled at him.

He remained looking stunned in front of me. I only waited for him to say something.

I continue smiling, "I only got here right now." I said before walking past him, I saw how his gaze falls on the floor and he obviously had a strong urge to slap his forehead.

Again, I shrugged it off. My very convincing smile is still etched on my lips as I got inside.

"Hey." I said, lifting up the bags of food. Chanyeol's eyes widen as soon as he saw me too. I did hear it, Yeol. But don't worry about it.

"Baek..." he looks at the door where his friend went out, before staring back at me. "did you just―"

"I just got here, yes." I said passively without looking at him. He doesn't answer.

My gaze lands on the paper beside the keys. I grab it to take a look.

_"Hello angel, You are like a painting, when I look to the sky I can only see―"_ I read but he immediately grabbed it from my hand. He turned away to hide them before clearing his throat. I stared at him.

"Don't do that."

"Who's angel?" I chuckled.

"No one. It's not yet done..." he says timidly. I only shrug.

"I brought food. Have you eaten? I'm not sure if you like this though. But I like this so I don't really care about your―" I was cut off midway when he pulled me down to his lap. His surprised face is now gone because he wears his usual grin. Wow, that was fast. I wanted to laugh at myself, but I end up looking blankly at his eyes. He doesn't seem to notice when his hands started rubbing my back.

"Did you miss me that's why you visited?" he asks. Our faces are getting closer. I push his chest to move away.

"We're in the same house, Chanyeol. What the hell..." I sniggered but his hands go out of control again when it started going in my shirt. I flinched.

"Chanyeol..." I called, trying to move away but he held closer to kiss me on my neck. I shivered when his hands move downward, "stop."

"What?" he continues and mumbles against my ear and hair, "I miss you. Even we're together everyday. Last night you were too tired." he rubs my skin more sensually. I clicked my tongue as I continue to avoid his kisses, "Please, baby." he pleaded in frustration. I was lost with his tone. He took this chance to hold my cheeks still and crash his lips on mine. I put up no fight. I let him kiss me until he gets tired.

He stops to let me catch some air. His face is the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. And I can't even explain why I feel the need to stare at him intently. My gaze travels from his doe eyes looking straight at me, his pointed nose and his swollen lips that are slightly opened, begging for more. I look at each of his features, before staring at his whole face, then repeating the process. As if memorizing every inch.

My eyes started getting warm.

"Baby?"

I blinked a few times before gulping and standing up. I fixed my clothes before going back to the food I brought.

"Let's eat now, Yeol. Sehun's get-together is a few hours away. Come on." I gave him his food. But he only stared at it, "Chanyeol...c'mon. We still have to buy him a gift right? Hurry up."

I sighed deeply.

"Don't tell me you don't want to go again."

"No...I do. I want to go. We'll go there..." I sigh in relief when he responded. Although my gaze caught his questioning eyes again, "You're fine, babe. Right?" he asked seriously. I made a funny face before chuckling and continuing to eat.

"You're being weird again!" I exclaimed before completely shrugging off his question.

x

"Sehun!" one of his friends started clinging on him, faking a hysterical cry. "We were happy 3 days ago...why are you leaving us all of a sudden? We will never forget you, Hun..." he said that made us laugh. Sehun kicks him on the leg but laughs along as well.

"Who would've thought that the brat y'all keep on calling baby is the first one to snatch the opportunities out there!" Lay puts his arm around Sehun's shoulders. The younger frowns. I smiled with the sight. Sehun is still a baby, "Hun, don't bang too many American girls okay? Twice a month is fine." Sehun shakes his head with the continuous jokes and teases from his friends around him. I remained quiet on the side, watching them. Beside me is Chanyeol, who's joining them with the jokes. It just feels so right, seeing him slowly rebuilding his relationship with Sehun again.

Sehun got a scholarship for an art school in America. Where he'll spend 2 years, or much longer if he does good. He just told us right after the school informed him, so they threw a small party for a farewell. His flight is soon too. And as much as I badly want to convince myself that I'm happy about it, I'm not.

I wish I was also looking forward to hearing good news about him from here.

But it doesn't work that way.

"Spacing out again, hyung." I hear the devil himself speak as he sat beside me. I drift off my thoughts and look around, Chanyeol isn't there. "He got a drink with Luhan-hyung. Why are you so fidgety?" he chuckled.

"Have you packed your things?"

"No. The heck. My flight isn't tomorrow!"

I smiled.

"When is your flight then?" I asked. He pouts unconsciously.

"Uh, a week from now?" he answered, not even sure. I laughed.

"Still have the time to get ready on tagging along then." I teased.

His face becomes serious.

"I know what you're thinking." he says, staring directly at me. He didn't say anything more. But his face remained serious.

"Then are you gonna scold me? Or stop me?" I asked faintly, almost a whisper.

He only looks at me before tilting his head and shaking it.

"No. That's your decision." he pauses. An uneasy silence takes over us, before he talks again. "I just wish you could've pretended better. You know...that you're sad to see me go." he sniggered before walking away. I had no choice but watch him fade from my sight.

_Sehun, just...how can you read me so well?_

"Hey, you okay?" Chanyeol pops up beside me. I smile for the nth time. He seems to be distracted by the fun when he hands me a drink, "I got you a drink. Tell me if you wanna go home, alright Baek?" he said before kissing my temple and walking away to greet his other friends.

"Baek," I feel someone tapping my cheek. I groan, "Baek, wake up. Let's go now." I opened my eyes and saw Chanyeol's face against the dim light.

"Are you not feeling well, Baek? Why didn't you tell me? We could've gone home earlier."

"No...I'm fine. I just felt sleepy so I asked Sehun if I can take a nap first." I rubbed my eyes as we go outside his house, the people are gone now and Sehun just nodded at us when we passed by him and Luhan outside.

My eyes were still puffy when we got inside the car. Chanyeol started the engine then cussed right after. I looked at him.

"Baek...I forgot the house keys at the studio. Did you bring the spare?" I only stare at him blankly. He smiles sheepishly when he figures out the answer, "Right...it's in your car too. We need to go back there. Yes." he nodded as he continues to realize our misfortune.

"We don't have a choice." I said.

"Are you mad, Baek? Sorry..." he stared at my face with his usual look that I don't understand.

"No. You're an idiot. I'm used to it." he scrunched his face because of this but continued to drive back to his studio.

We reached the place sooner than expected since it's almost midnight. Chanyeol laughed way too loud that his deep voice echoed in the halls whenever I slapped him hard for telling scary stories on our way up. Gosh, he's an ass.

"Hey, can I go to the restroom first after I get the keys?" he even asked for my permission. I smiled.

"Seriously?" I asked. He laughs before running to the bathroom.

I scan the whole room. No wonder he's willing to spend the rest of his life here. Everything he needs for his passion is here. Maybe that's why he's not really comfortable on working at home.

I yawn before my gaze falls on a folder that caught my attention. I look behind at the bathroom door before sneakily reaching out for the folder.

For **B.**

My heart skips a beat when I open the folder to see a bunch of sheets. Each of them has some musical notes and terms I can't understand. Then there are lyrics. I bit my lip. These are different songs. And all of them have the same denominator.

About me.

I immediately put it back to where it has to be. I don't want to cry again. Too much, I had too much.

Why is he making this so, _so _hard for me?

"Boo!" I almost jumped in shock when he appeared behind me. His hands grabbed my waist for the jumpscare. I quickly wiped my eyes before facing him, panting heavily as my hands held his face between them.

"You scared me!" my voice breaks before I pull his head down to kiss him, "God, _you scare me..._" I found it difficult to repeatedly do it while holding his cheeks so I circled my arms around his neck to kiss him deeper, uttering the same words in between.

"Baek, _baby_, wait―" he breathes in between. I heard no pleads as I continue. He steps closer, making me move backwards and hit the keys with my back, "I know I scared you but―_jesus christ_, Baekhyun. Wait." he cussed when I slid off my shirt in a snap. His kisses started giving back the level of my demands. His hands are as furious as mine while he undoes my pants and I grab his locks. He pulls away and takes off his clothes, making me sit in agony as I watch.

"You love provoking me, do you?" he asks huskily, his fingers pulls down the remaining thin fabric from my waist, revealing my wholeness. His hand starts stroking my cock as he bites my jaw, I whimper against his shoulders. "Do you know how much I thought about doing you here? Bending you over all of these? _Goddamn, Baekhyun._" I groaned when he stood naked as I am, his glory proud and standing. I knelt down and started taking him by the mouth. I could feel his tip reaching the back of my throat, making a gagging sound. He grabbed my hair and thrusted slowly while I held onto his legs for support.

"Ah _fuck_, baby. Yeah―_Oh_!" I bobbed my head faster until he released his warm cum in my mouth.

He pulls me up and grabs the lube from the table drawer. I was bent over the table beside the keyboard, my face is almost touching the keys. My eyes shut close as he holds my neck to keep me still, while the other trace my hole with the cold substance. He digs in two fingers and I yelp as he moves it in and out. He starts scissoring me and I cry even louder. My hands are trembling as I hold onto the nearest object.

I accidentally pressed the on/off button, making the keys produce sounds as I hit them repeatedly. The sound hurts my ear but I couldn't give a shit anymore. Chanyeol cusses when he realized that both his hands are busy as well.

He wastes no time when he takes me from behind. I could feel his cock filling me in, stretching me to the brim. I hold tighter to the keys, making it sound even more dreadful. Chanyeol thrusts harder as I beg for more. The sound of random keys, moans, and skin slapping are the noises that filled the silent place. He pulls out before hitting back again, making sure he hits my goddamn prostate. He seems to get pissed when the keyboard overpowered my moans so he harshly turns it off as he continues to fuck my ass.

"Oh―fuck, _fuck_!" I cussed on the top of my lungs before he pulls out and turns my body around to face him. He cups my ass before placing it over his work table, leaning closer for a wet kiss while he reenters. He slams in the same intensity, only hotter because we could see each other's faces. He kisses and bites my neck and jaw while he pulls me then for me to meet his thrusts. My moans become even more sensual, his face seriously watches every expression I make. I look away. I can't look at him anymore.

"Ngh―I..." he whispers against my lips, "god... I love you, baby...So, so much."

My eyes tear up even worse. I just hug him to hide it.

I pant heavily as soon as I reach my peak, he releases his orgasm not long after. My head droops down against his shoulder. He knows this that's why he hugs me closer and lifts me up to lay us both down the couch. He puts the thin blanket over us as I curl up and shift closer to him. I nuzzle my face against his chest.

_I love you too. So, so much._

"I'm so happy, Baek." I hear him whisper, almost like a breath. My eyes are closed, which must made him think that I'm asleep. Again. "Have I told you...that you look like an angel?" he continuously mumbled while he plays with my hair. I closed my eyes tightly, I grit my teeth to stop this stupid pain from killing me inside.

"I love you, my angel." I let my hands catch the warm liquid that fell from my eyes.

_You're an angel too. And I'm so so sorry._   
  



	26. 25-You'll be Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: ** first person's POV **

  
**C**

"Baek?"

Baekhyun squirms when I lightly nudged him to wake him up. I take the chance to stare at his face. I can't help but notice the dark circles below his eyes and his worn out face. I've noticed how exhausted he's been for the past few weeks. And it's actually bothering me. I don't want him overworking himself.

"Baek baby," he groans, "wake up. Sehun leaves today, remember?"

His puffed eyes open in an instant. Really. If Sehun and I have not reconciled then I might just get jealous on how he affects Baekhyun in simplest ways.

But nah, I know who this one belongs to.

"Oh shit," he mumbles, "that's today?" he asks sleepily, making me smile.

"Yes, sleepyhead. So get up and get ready because we're sending him off." he stares at me as I kissed his temple. I stand up and put some clothes on. He remains slouching on the bed, staring into space. I curiously watch him.

"Do you have to work today?" I ask, trying to get him respond. "Or are you on leave?" I lean on the wall.

He looks at me before gulping and standing up, "Uh, I need to go to the office later. Afternoon."

I nod as I purse my lips.

"Want me to drive you there?"

He smiles before shaking his head.

"No, It's okay. Thanks, Yeol."

I watch them hug Sehun one by one before I step in and do the same. Being like an older brother, I remind him so many things before he goes. He surprisingly listens to me this time, smiling and nodding with everything I say.

Baekhyun remains quiet behind me, which I only notice after completing my farewell to Sehun. And now that I realize, he hasn't said a word yet even from the car. He's been really unresponsive today.

Who am I kidding? He's been like that for some time now. And even if I'm itching to ask, I just can't. Even if I badly want to know everything that's going on inside his head, I can't. Because in the end, I'll be the one making a big deal out of anything again.

And it's agonizing. Because he's so close to me. He's always been right there. I can hold him tight in my arms yet he feels like a thousand miles away, still.

As much as I don't want to admit, it's just becoming more difficult.

My gaze is directed at him because of these thoughts. He notices this and only stares back, he only looks away when Sehun is already in front of him for goodbyes. I see him mouth something before they both subtly step farther away from us. The bunch didn't even notice when they're all busy with their own conversations. But I remain watching the two of them intently.

Nothing seems bizarre, actually. Aside from the fact that Baekhyun carefully says his words, as if he knows I'll read them through his lips. Sehun only listens to him, his face is all serious. Right then, the others paid attention to them so Baekhyun lets out a smile that almost made me cringe. He reluctantly hugs Sehun, and the other does the same. He didn't look back like I expected him to when his flight was called.

At least not to Baekhyun.  
  


"Yeol, wait." Baekhyun motions his palm before putting his phone on his ear, "I'll take this first. Go ahead, I'll just follow." he says hurriedly before walking away as he answers it. I crease my brows. What was that?

"Chanyeol!" Kris caught me standing alone outside the airport, Lay-hyung is with him. "Where to?"

"Oh, Baek had to take an important call." I said. They stayed with me when we got into another conversation. I was too involved that I almost forgot.

I stopped when I noticed the time. Baekhyun hasn't come back yet.

Kris is talking but I can't help roaming my eyes around and constantly checking my phone. Where is he?

"By the way, I've heard about CYON." they both grin with this, "You're still a selfish ass. When are you planning to tell us? Producer Chanyeol!" I just chuckle.

"Hyung, it isn't confirmed yet. They're just considering it. I want to tell you when the deal is already on." I explained and got an expected teasing from them. My smile fades off as I look back at my watch.

"No shit, I need to go." I say, trying to text Baekhyun. "Baek must be lost. Drive safely, you two! See ya."

I start walking around the area, trying to spot Baekhyun but he isn't anywhere near. I try calling him but the line is still busy.

After walking around for a few more minutes, I saw him from the far distant. His back is facing me and he's still on the phone. I let out a weary sigh. Why did he have to go this far?

I walk towards him. I can see his shoulders heaving. My plan to startle him from behind goes to waste when I hear his voice raising.

"—not now, I told you! Don't even try to let her go there! I'll go there right now!" I stop when I hear the anger in his voice, his hand is on his face. "Did you get what I said, Soeun? I'LL GO TO THE MEETING _GODAMMIT_! LET HER STAY IN THE DAMN HOUSE!"

I stand there, watching him as he becomes even more agitated. His breathing remains heavy as he listens to the person from the other line. After a few seconds, he hangs up and tries to calm himself, unaware that I've been behind him for quite some time now. His hands are on his waist as he catches his breath. When he manages to collect himself, he turns around to go back but stops when he sees me.

I hate it. I hate it when I always have to see him like this. Like he's being caught whenever I arrive.

"How long have you been there?" he asks, a trace of frown still etched on his face. I shrug. Does it matter?

"Not too long." I answered, although I can see the doubt on his face. When I try to hold his hand, he flinches. I look at him. He looks away before wiping his hand on his pants and reaching out for mine again as casual as he can.

"Let's go home..." he says faintly, "I still need to go to the office. My boss needs something urgent." he explained while walking, his gaze is uneasy.

"Why don't you just go there directly? I can drive you there."

"No, Yeol. I can just bring my car." he insists, his eyes still directed in front.

"It's a waste of time, Baek. It'll be more hassle."

"Chanyeol."

I blink when he stops and looks at me coldly, as if he doesn't want me to talk anymore. The way he grips my hand then suddenly letting it go makes me realize his suppressed outburst.

"Okay. Okay, we'll go home babe." I force a smile before trying to hold his hand again but he moves it away and starts walking ahead. He puts both his hands in his pockets. I stop and watch him with my confused self.

That. That's what I was talking about when I said all of this is just so difficult.  
  
  
  


"HELL YES, YOU'RE THE MAN!"

"Congratulations! I knew it! You'll get this!"

I had to cover my ears because of their deafening cheers. Though I'm also grinning from ear to ear. I let their hard and congratulatory taps on my back as I cleared my throat.

"Are you all serious? I wouldn't have done this without you."

Today, the big partnership from Japan landed on my hands. They called me to say that they're choosing my production team to invest on. And I can't explain how happy I am. I've always been waiting for this. This is the break I've been working hard for.

This is it.

"So what do we do now, dude? Are they asking for anything specific?" Mihawk asked beside me. The others are circled around me, equally ecstatic about the news.

"Not much now. But their team representatives are flying here tonight. They want a big closed meeting for further disclosure and official contract signing maybe tomorrow. And I want all of you there with me. We're a team."

"No shit, man. We shouldn't miss that or we're screwed, are we?" I nodded with this. But I am definite, this is something that won't slip off my hands.

"Are we really gonna be an official record-producing company?"

"This shit is real, man!"

Another set of shouting surround the room. I can't help but laugh with their futuristic ideas regarding this. My heart feels so light.

"Congrats Chanyeol." Hojung pops behind me. She smiles as soon as I see her, "I knew you'll get this far."

I smile back.

"Thanks," I answer. I look around and saw her production team. I figure out she's recording this morning so maybe that's why she heard about it. I clear my throat to initiate a conversation, "you wanna join the celebration tonight? There's a go-to bar downtown." I asked. Her eyes slightly widened.

"You're inviting me?"

"Yeah. Yeah uh, well your team can go. Everybody will go so why shouldn't I invite y'all right?" she looks at me in awe although she grins right after.

"Sure! We'll go!" she exclaimed.

I only chuckled, "it's gonna be fun, promise." she looks at me but my attention goes straight to my almost forgotten thought, "Oh, excuse me." I stand up and walk outside with my phone on my ear.

And there, the bitterness rushed through my throat when I needed to redial the same number for the second time because the ringing had finished without him picking up. How long is it gonna be like this, seriously?

I was about to hang up when he finally answers.

_"Chanyeol..."_ even from the other line, his voice sounded so tired. I could hear his muffled voice when he excused himself from a person. Is it a wrong time? Again?

"Hey Baek." I try shrugging it off and keeping my voice cheerful, "I have something to tell you..."

I hear him sigh.

_"Yeol, will..."_ he pauses, his voice sounded so lifeless._ "can't it wait later?"_

My smile fades off. My heart thumps hard against my chest. He also went speechless from the other line.

"Oh..." I lean on the wall, "you're in a meeting? Sorry..." I smiled bitterly. I hear another heavy breath from him and I'm starting to grow tired of hearing them a lot lately.

_"Yeah, I am..."_ he pauses and I'm actually just waiting for him to tell me to hang up, _"but you can say it now. What is it?"_ he tried to make his voice enthusiastic but it sounded so forced.

"No, it can wait." I said, "Go back to the meeting, Baek. It's more important." I added. He pauses once more.

_"Yeol..."_ he calls, I only listened to his voice._ "How about a quick dinner later? You'll still go to the office today, right? I'll drop by and bring you food."_ he says. I blink a few times.

"Wouldn't it be more hassle for you?" I ask. He'll go to the office then go back to his work after dinner? "I'll go there. Just text me the address." I don't want him to be even more exhausted. And I want to finally see where he's working.

_"No..." _he immediately opposes,_ "I mean...it's really hectic here. And... I want to see Heechul and Jieun too. I'll go, okay?"_ I heard muffled voices from his background. But I really can't understand their words.

I sighed in defeat. When did I ever say no?

"Please don't overwork yourself, Baekhyun." he doesn't answer when he heard my plead, "When are you going back home? I miss you."

He hums. I want to see him now. It's killing me.

_"Tonight. I'll go home tonight, hmm?"_ he mumbles something I didn't understand before continuing, _"I have to go, Yeol. Just wait for me later, aryt?"_

I bite my lip, "Bye. I lo—" I wasn't able to finish my sentence when he hangs up. I stare at my phone screen for a while before going back inside my studio, feeling so blue.  
  
  
  


x

"Where are you?" I click my tongue in annoyance when it wasn't my expected call. As soon as I got my coat, I walked outside the office. "The heck, Chanyeol! Don't tell me you'll miss this?! This is your celebration you idiot!"

I dismiss Mihawk's demanding whines and proceed to the ground floor while I roam my gaze to find Heechul and Jieun, they're not here though.

"My shift just finished! You go ahead, I can just follow later."

"Why not now?!"

"Because I'm waiting for Baekhyun. We'll have dinner first then I'll go there. Okay? Okay? Now—"

"Why don't you just bring him with you? Goodness!" Mihawk's being a bitch, seriously.

"Shut up! He's doing something important so he won't be able to come. This will be quick!" I frowned in irritation.

"More important than your special celebration? Seriously? I can feel he's so happy for you right now. Like really." he said sarcastically that made my jaw harden.

"Fuck off will you? I said I'll follow goddamn." I spat and didn't even let him finish his answer when I dropped the call. Right then, I received a text.

_From: Baek_

_I'm here outside_

I try straightening my frowning face and fix my clothes. I step outside and see him leaning against his car. A paper bag is on his left hand. There's the rummaging thing inside my chest but a friend of mine was nice enough to ruin it for me as soon as I recalled his words. I force a smile, but it soon goes genuine when his eyes landed on mine while he flashes a small grin.

My feet step faster to his way as my arms flung on my sides, my eyes only at him. I just want to hug him tight. Two days felt like a fucking decade. I wasn't thinking straight anymore.

God, I want those lips.

"Oopoop!" he steps backward when he realized what I was about to do. I crease my brows before trying to pull him but his hands gently push my chest while he shakes his head.

"Yeol, we're in front of the office building." he mumbles as he consciously looks around. My shoulders droop down as I raised a brow. _So?_ He lazily grins back, "later, okay? Where's Jieun and Heechul? I bought them coffee." he continuously talks while looking through the paper bag. He doesn't even notice how my expression falls down to the floor.

He touches my cheek before saying, "let's go bring these to them first then we'll eat this at the rooftop. Sounds good?" he doesn't wait for my answer when he walks straight into the building with the Frappé on his hands. I sigh before following.  
  
  
  
"They haven't change a bit. It feels like a decade since I last saw them." _it feels like a decade since I last saw you too, now can I hug you?_ "Are you sure it's allowed here? I mean...your shift is done and I'm not an employee here anymore." he asks, not looking at me while he walks to the corner of the rooftop. I remain following him behind, both hands in my pockets.

"It's fine." I answered curtly. I stand there, watching how his full attention is on the food inside the plastic bag. I've never felt this selfish before that I'm hating a lifeless object for this. But I miss him, and I wish he'll just stop making me wait and focus on me.

"Heol..." he scratches the back of his head while frowning slightly, "I forgot to ask for the sauce you like―" his words were cut off when I wrapped him tightly inside my arms. I place my chin on his shoulder, trying to smell his hair. His hands touch mine that are on his torso.

"Let's eat later..." I mumble against his neck, he lets me do it as he tilted his head on the side. "I missed you..."

"Me too." he whispers and it's enough for the thing inside my chest to flutter, "Sorry I've been very busy. I just can't leave work and..."

"Sshh. It's okay. You're here." my hug loosens up a bit but I didn't let him go, just enough for him to breathe. "Don't overwork yourself too much, Baekhyun...please." I felt him stiffen a little with this.

I don't want this getting out of hand. He's losing weight and I could tell from his eyes that he's barely sleeping as well. Also the fact that he needed to sleep for a few nights in the office because of work doesn't give me the chance to look after him. I don't want it like this. If he gets sick because of it, I swear I'm making him quit this job I don't even know much about.

He turns his head to my side, his nose touches my cheek.

"Don't worry about me, Chanyeol..." he mumbles before facing forward again, "food is getting cold, let's eat first. I'm not allowed to be gone too long as well." he shifts away from me before going back to unpacking the food. I stare into space for about a minute, my head filled with thoughts. I know he's looking at me every now and then but he doesn't even say anything.

We sit, facing one another beside the rooftop's railings to get a good view. I look at my favorite bright tower from afar but it took me a while to spot it. It's been a long time since I had the chance to stare at it though why does it seem to become a little dimmed? It's not as bright as before. Or maybe I'm just imagining things.

"Why has it become so dimmed..." I mumbled that made Baekhyun look at me. He followed where I was looking.

"What?"

"My favorite tower...it isn't that bright anymore." my lips pouted a little. I looked at Baekhyun and saw him still looking at the tower from afar. His eyes are unreadable.

He shrugs before staring back at me.

"Nothing's permanent. Someday you'll have to lose your light." he smiled, but it isn't a happy one.

"Damn, baby." I chuckled teasingly but stopped when I saw him looking back at the tower. I notice how bizarre he's been acting since I mentioned it.

"You know why it was so bright? Because it was supposed to be a guide. For someone who's lost. That when they see this mark, they'll automatically know where to go. It was supposed to help you when you're lost..." he said in a low voice. His eyes are glued on the far tower, as if he's drowned into his thoughts. I don't understand what he's saying.

"What..." I can't help muttering, "And where did you learn that?"

He looks back at me, as if he's woken up from his deep thoughts and shrugs in return.

"Just heard it." he looks down to his food, dismissing my stare, "Doesn't make sense, right?"

"Yeah, it doesn't." he chuckled when I agreed.

We start eating when I remember what I should tell him. I smiled in anticipation.

"I want to tell you something."

Baekhyun looks up to me as he starts eating, as if implying he's listening.

"Actually, I have something to tell you too..." my brows raise but he nods his head, "but you go first. I'll tell you later."

"Have you heard CYON Productions?" I can't help the grin forming on my lips. He narrows his eyes with this, trying to recall the name.

"Japan? Is it? I think I've read it somewhere. Why?" he asked curiously, I smiled bigger.

"They want us to become their official affiliate here in Seoul." I said, unable to hide the excitement in my voice. "They'll invest on my production team and we'll become partners so I'll be able to officially produce music."

He stops eating and looks straight at me. I smile widely, waiting for his reaction.

"I'll finally have my own production company, Baek. My own. My dream is finally here..."

I expected a lot for a reaction. But my smile slowly fades off when he seemed to be glued on his sit, statued.

And I hate it. I hate it when Mihawk's words suddenly come rushing inside my head at this moment.

"Baek?"

"Oh..." he uttered after his silence, I tried shaking off the disappointment rushing through me. _He's just surprised._

"I-I'm..." his laugh trembles, "I'm so happy for you, Chanyeol...That's so great." he tries to smile. I bit my lip, gritting my teeth inside.

"Are you really?" I can't help asking.

Can you blame me? I've expected so much. Out of all people, he was the one I expected to celebrate this as much as I do. He knows all my dreams. I never failed on telling him that.

He blinks a few times.

"I am. I was just surprised, but I'm glad. I'm sorry if I made you feel that I'm not. I really am happy for you, Yeol." he smiled. I only nodded and again, tried to convince myself that he's only tired and he's genuinely happy for me.

I was staring somewhere when he suddenly leans forward and plants a quick kiss on my lips. I look at him when he quickly went back to his seat, in awe and wanting for more.

"I bet you'll make a hot producer." he smiles that made me do the same. This somehow made me feel light.

I continued eating but I could feel him watching me. When I tilt my head up, his face is unreadable but it instantly breaks into a smile when our eyes met. I recall another thing.

"What is it that you'll tell me?" I ask. He stares at me with his brows raised, as if clueless. "You said you also want to tell me something."

His face softens when I said so. He smiles once more while he shakes his head.

"Did I really? I forgot..." he chuckles, my brows crossed. "I have such a bad memory. It's not important anyway. I'll just say it when I remember..." he said before going back to eating. I looked at him curiously before shrugging.

"I'll fetch you tonight, let's go home together." I offered for the nth time. I recalled how he said he'll finally go home tonight from our conversation this morning.

Baekhyun stops eating and looks at me with his unreadable expression.

"Ah shit, that I forgot..." he cusses under his breath, I watch him struggle with his words. "I can't...tonight, Yeol. Something came up again, just this afternoon. As much as I want to go home, I can't leave it..."

I only stare at him. Something in my chest is twitching.

"Again?"

He bites his lip and nods as if he got no choice. Like how he's always been.

"I'll make it up to you, promise." the lump in my throat starts forming.

"What is this important project that you can't leave even for a night?" my lips contiuously blurts out. He looks at me. I paused when I realized what I said especially how I said it. I just can't help it.

I gulped before staring down at my almost-untouched food, "Sorry. Forget I asked."

"Sorry, Yeol. I'm really really sorry." he apologizes, but didn't really bother answering my question. I look at my food and feel like losing my appetite already, "Please eat."

I force myself to continue eating because he won't stop watching me until I do so. We finish the food without saying anything more. I just needed the silence suddenly, and maybe he appreciated it too.

Is this how it's always going to be? Countless sorry's when I'll have to sleep on a cold bed alone every night?   
  
  
  


It was dreary. For the remaining time of our short dinner, I had to pretend it was fine. Because like before, I didn't want to make a fuss about everything. And I didn't want Baekhyun to feel that there's something bothering me. That _he's_ bothering me. Because I still want to convince myself that nothing's wrong. He's just tired.

He's totally not drifting away.

I drove quickly to the place where the party is. The fast route to this place didn't even let me think properly. I was bothered up until the moment I should be feeling great to celebrate.

"Finally!" as soon as I got inside the crowded club, people started dragging me into the private room we reserved. I can even barely see their faces because of the dim and flashing lights.

"YEEEEAAAH!" someone screamed as soon as they successfully placed a glass of strong liquor between my hands.

"To Phoenix, to Chanyeol, to us." Henry says from his place opposite to mine, "Cheers!"

I let out a lazy grin as the sound of clanking glasses echoes within the room. I didn't even blink when I let the liquor travel from my mouth straight to my throat, unbothered by the stinging sensation as I finish it in a single shot.

This is how you should celebrate, Chanyeol.

I went to dance with a lot of my friends, getting crocked and hammered on the dance floor that I almost can't stand anymore. Beads of sweat formed on my temples and neck, the effect of too much alcohol is slowly dawning on me.

It was a blur, every single thing. I just couldn't comprehend things anymore.

My friends only realized that I've had enough when I almost got beaten up on the dance floor because of sensually dancing with a woman who apparently, brought her boyfriend with her. I recalled the profanities I exchanged with the other guy before I got dragged away from them by my friends who's not that drunk as I am.

"...hnng _fuck_—" I cussed under my breath as soon as I slouched on the couch back to our VIP room. I could still feel the roughness of the tequila in my throat. I need water. Fuck, scratch that. I need Baekhyun. Just him.

I could hear their muffled voices around me. My eyes shut close but I'm not asleep yet. Not here.

"What're we gonna do?"

"Let's just call Baekhyun." I hear someone say.

"Baekhyun?"

As if my body should react with every mention of his name, my eyes opened. "Call! Call him!" I yell dysfunctionally, "Tell him to fucking focus on me this time!" I cussed multiple times right after I closed my eyes again.

"Jesus he's so drunk..."

"What happened?" a voice of a girl suddenly becomes audible from my place.

"Hojung, we thought you went home." she responds but it was too faint for me to hear, "Chanyeol is so drunk. He needs to go home." someone said. I'm not. I just drank a lot.

"Oh..." she says before continuing, "You want me to drive him home? I know where he lives."

"Reall—"

"No, it's okay! Someone is fetching him." it was followed by an awkward chuckle.

"There's no signal here." they say after a long pause, "Geez. Can you look after him for a while? I'll just go outside to make a call. Is it fine?" she may have responded with a nod cause I heard nothing, "thanks! This will be quick!"

When the door shut close, it was a few minutes of silence. I thought no one is here anymore except me.

I feel a weight beside me. I feel a cloth wiping the sweat from my face and neck.

"Still gorgeous you are, aren't you?" I heard her mumble while she wipes my face. I open my eyes a little and see her intimately close to me.

"Stop..." I muttered when she unbuttons the upper part of my polo.

"Baekhyun... I need Baekhyun..." I continue mumbling incoherently. She touches me and I cuss when I can't even move away, "stop it. Where's Baekhyun..."

"Who's that? She's not here." she said curtly, still not keeping her hands away from me.

"He's here..." I said, shaking my head. "He's just busy...but he's here."

I heard her chuckle.

"Oooh, the one and only Park Chanyeol having a little man crush, huh?" she says intriguingly. He's not my man crush goddammit. He's mine, "He's not here. He's busy and he'll never come for you."

"Shut up!" I growled when emotions start taking over me. Baekhyun will always come for me. Even if things are complicated.

I don't know what's happening anymore. When I open my eyes, my vision is moving upside down. I need to go home.

"Chanyeol, Baekhyun is not coming." it seems like she knows him too well from the way Baekhyun's name slip out from her lips. I open my eyes to throw her glare.

Why do people around me think they all know him? Why do they think they can tell me what I should and shouldn't do?

She looks back at me with a smug smile. Her face reminds me of one person when she did that. And it's the person I never want to see for good.

"Let me guess," she talks again, "why isn't he here with you? Everyone came to support you but he didn't. You know what that means?"

"Shut up..."

"It means he isn't happy for what you've achieved, not even a bit. He doesn't want you succeeding more than he is."

That's not true... How can she say that?

"_Please_...stop. I want to go home, call Baekhyun..." I didn't know why it came out as a plead. I just want her to stop talking because something inside my chest is twisting.

"Accept it, Chanyeol." she leans closer and her words turn into whispers, "You don't deserve someone who can't even make you their priority. You don't deserve someone who doesn't believe on what you can do." she looks straight to my eyes. I stared back, feeling like the words enter my heart and start killing it from the inside.

Her hand caresses my cheek.

"You deserve someone who's here, Chanyeol." I gulp when my eyes fell on her lips almost touching mine, "who will never choose anything over you. Quit trying to make him look at you all the time because he won't."

_Because he won't._

_Quit trying to make him look at you._

My lips open in awe when it hits me like a truck. She smiles at me before leaning closer. My head shift forward as I kiss her. She opens her mouth and lets my tongue through. Her hand on my cheek moves to my hair while the other touches my chest.

I was a man possessed. I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

"Chanyeol..."

As if on cue, I push the girl kissing me. My eyes landed on the door where my two friends are staring at me in shock. Behind them are cold eyes watching my foolishness.

_Baekhyun._

Fuck, Chanyeol! Why did you kiss her?! What did you do!

"Hojung, go home please. You know he's drunk." they said, trying hard not to be rude to her. One of them pulled her away from me and sent her outside. My eyes remain on Baekhyun. My friends are standing there in silence. I bet they were expecting him to walk out or start a drama but I know he isn't like that.

They watch him as he walks to my direction, before placing my arm around his neck to lift me up.

"Baek..." I called, badly wanting to explain.

"Stand up," he commands as he tries to lift my weight without giving me a look. I remain motionless, still wanting him to hear me out. "_Stand up, _Chanyeol." he repeated firmly that I was left with no choice.

My two friends are still shocked on their places that they just realized they needed to help him when he completely lifted me up on his own. They rush to our place but Baekhyun motions his palm, making them stop.

"I can manage." he says, still walking. "Thank you for calling me. I'll bring him home." he slightly bowed before heading out the room. I endured walking on my own so that I wouldn't have to make it more difficult for him. But I know it is already.

I'm so fucking stupid.

He made me sit on the shotgun seat. I watch him groggily while he opens a can of milk and gave it to me before walking to the other side and starts driving.

"Baby..." I groaned pleadingly but his eyes are directed on the road.

"Drink all of that, Chanyeol." was the only thing he said while he drove us home. And as much as I want to deny, I'm partly happy because he's going home with me tonight. I just wished it isn't this way.

I drank it 'til the last drop. I was practicing my words, everything I should say and how I should begin. But I completely lost consciousness in the middle of the ride.  
  
  


"Chanyeol." I scrunch my face when someone starts tapping my cheek, my eyes remain closed. "Chanyeol, wake up."

As soon as I recognize who owns the voice, my eyes opened wide. Almost as instant as how all the shit I've done came running back to me.

"Baek...listen to me..." I managed to say even when my head started spinning around when I hopped off the car. He looks at me with his tired eyes, reluctant if he should hold me to keep me standing or go straight inside the house.

"You can walk now, let's go inside. It's late." he says shortly before walking ahead of me. I watch him with my rummaging heart. I don't want to sleep with this situation.

We were quiet when we went inside, not even saying a word until we reach the bedroom.

I sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders drooping down heavily. With everything I want to say inside my head, I can't seem to find the courage to even open my mouth. I only watch him while he pulls out a shirt from the closet. He faces me to hand it over, his eyes glued on it.

"Change your clothes so you can sleep."

I gulped before looking up at him.

"Baekhyun, let me explain what happened..." I start off. I feel myself getting tensed when he looks at me with frustration. But I need to explain. "We won't sleep unless we talk about this."

He stares back at me with his arms crossed. I wait for his answer, or a signal to just let me start explaining. But he stands straight from leaning on the wall, combing his hair with his fingers.

"I'm not sleeping here. I need to go back to the office." he said. Dismissing the frown of disbelief forming on my face. Seriously?

"What?" I can't help asking, "Are you kidding me?" he's here already!

He looks at me, his lips forming a thin line.

"No, Chanyeol. I have so many things to finish." his cold eyes bore at me. The way he spat his words makes it obvious that he's just trying to calm himself.

"You're here, Baekhyun. What's so hard about sleeping for a night then come back to the office early in the morning? You went home! Why do you have to come back at this hour?!" my voice raised.

"Because I needed to drive you home! Because someone called me saying you're drunk and no one will do it aside from me, Chanyeol!" he yells back, "I told you I have so many things to finish, Chanyeol. I have a lot of fucking job to do and I just had to receive a call to pick you up in the middle of the fucking night! I'm so tired!" an unknown rage suddenly came rushing in my system.

"I'm sorry then. That you had to leave your precious job for me!" his jaw dropped with this and I chuckled sarcastically, "You expect me to believe this shit, Baekhyun? Three days of not going home for work? Do you think I'm stupid?!" his eyes narrowed at me.

"What are you trying to say?"

I didn't answer. I breathed heavily while I only stared at him.

"You think I'm fucking other guys behind your back? Is that it?"

_No. _I thought to myself. _I never said that._

_It's not like that Baekhyun._

_I just want you to tell me the truth._

"Wow," he laughs sarcastically, gulping before he continues, "So that's why you had the nerve to kiss some woman behind me too. Well, technically in front because I caught you, right?" he grinned, but he's gritting his teeth.

I covered my face with my both hands in so much frustration.

"Why did you do that?"

"I was so drunk, Baekhyun. I didn't know what I was doing..." I explained, my palms are still covering my eyes, "I felt so fucked up. Drunk and down. Because I couldn't accept the fact that you can't seem to be happy for me. For my dream." there, I said it.

I remained on my position. I'm not brave enough to remove my hands from my eyes and watch his expression. Silence enveloped us. He wasn't able to answer.

"You think I don't support you?"

_You do. You support me. But..._

"I told you I was happy, Chanyeol. Why don't you believe me?" I looked at him this time. He's now leaning on the closet, his hands holding each other.

It's been a while since I last saw him being happy. And that's what I don't understand. Why? What's missing?

"You're not. I'm not someone you can fool, Baek." I smile sadly. His eyes are confused, but the pain slowly shows, "You may not see me as that person, but I can always see through you. I know when you're suffering. But what I never knew are the reasons why. Because you never trusted me enough to say the things that bother you. That's the truth."

His eyes glisten when tears start forming in them. But surprisingly, I got no regrets. God knows how much I've been wanting to say this.

"When did I ever fail to make you feel secured? I told you everything. I did the best I can so you can finally put your guard down and trust me. But that's not on me anymore, it's your choice. If you choose to never let your guard down forever, then I won't be able to change that. But today, all I asked of you was to be happy for me. Was it so hard?" my voice broke.

Baekhyun suppressed a sob. He's biting his lips while instantly wiping every tear that falls down from his eyes. It hurts me.

"I'm messed up, Chanyeol. I thought you knew that from the very beginning?" he gulped before continuing, "Everything in my life right now is fucked up, I'm on the rocks. I was forcing myself to be happy for you. But how do I do that? I'm miserable!"

"That's why I want you to tell me what's wrong! What's bothering you! Is it the same old issue? Aren't you over it yet?" I couldn't help blurting out.

His eyes changed at the end of my words. He blinks a few times. He looks at his clasped hands, nodding slowly. I couldn't understand what happened.

"What, Baekhyun?!" I said when he didn't utter a word. I want to get this over with, right now.

He takes a few deep breaths, gaze focused on his fingers as if his life depended on them. And then he looks back at me.

"Let's take a break, Chanyeol."

I feel like I suddenly went deaf because of this. I look at him with my puzzled expression.

"What?" I asked through gritted teeth. Is this another one of his impulsive responses?

"I don't want this anymore, let's break up." he says directly. My breathing becomes ragged, "I'll leave now. You should rest. Let's talk some other time." he stands up but I'm fast enough to block his way. I endured the dizziness I feel because it's nothing compared to the pain inside my chest. Nothing.

"Damn it! You will not get out of this room saying that!" I snarled. My eyes are stinging. They look straight into his, probably flashing the rage I feel and the plead I want to utter. But his eyes are point blank, "What the hell is wrong with you, Baekhyun?!"

"You want me to break this down for you?" he managed to say despite of his urge to cry. I gulped with the sight. I'm almost on the same state.

"We are better off without each other, Chanyeol. Can't you see? It's not working. Not only for the people around us, but for us even. This...this is toxic." I only shake my head while he says this. I won't let it end this way, never.

"Baekhyun! You're talking nonsense just―"

"I'M NOT! CHANYEOL, OPEN YOUR EYES!" he yelled right in front of my face, his chest is heaving, "Since we got together, nothing goes right!" I can't believe I'm hearing this from him right now.

Everyday felt right for me because of him. But it was never the same way around.

"Baek, baby...please." I plead and I could feel my eyes getting warmer. I don't care if he sees me being like this. I just don't want to lose him.

"You...you deserve more than this. You said you've always wanted a family right?" his voice almost becomes a whisper at this point. His bloodshot eyes are directed at me, "Maybe you're just confused right now, Chanyeol. In the future, you can get married to the best girl out there. Start a family of your own. I'm not the one for you―"

"WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT?! JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" I shouted angrily, my voice breaking while I breathe heavily, "You don't decide for me, Baekhyun! You don't fucking tell me to go find someone else. I want you so I chose you! Why are you making this so hard for the both of us?!"

He flinches every time my voice raises. He ends up sobbing against his palms.

"C-Chanyeol..." he begs and my heart was crushed into pieces. Is this how bad he wants this to end?

"No! You listen to me, Baek!" I retaliated, my fists are clutched tightly when he flinched as I tried reaching for him. He makes me feel like he's disgusted, is that it? "I've sacrificed so many things for this and you pull that shit right now?! That I'd rather marry a girl because I'm a guy? This is your fucking logic behind everything all this time?!"

I can't even explain how hard it is for me to talk. I feel like I'm being tortured inside and it's getting hard for me to breathe. I just won't shed a tear right now. I don't want any hindrance when I say whatever I want and whatever he needs to hear.

He continues to cry in front of me. I hate it. It hurts me the most to see him like this and worse is when it's because of me. But I have no choice. I can't give him what he wants.

"Aren't you tired, Chanyeol?" he asks that caught me off-guard. I am. I am so tired but that doesn't mean I'll give up, "if you can endure it all, then I can't. I told you before, I was a hopeless case. Every now and then you'll have to deal with my insecurities and issues in life and I don't want that, when I can't even deal with them by myself. I was lying to you, and you were too. Do you think I can live with that? When I can't even completely trust you? I can't. I can never deal with that..."

My brows crossed in confusion. _When did I ever lie?_

I clenched my jaw as frustration starts dominating me, I combed my hair with both of my hands. "I don't even know what the fuck are you talking about..."

I stare at him with my frustrated expression, my eyes are pleading. But he only shakes his head. And it's becoming clearer to me.

"It's late and you're drunk. I'm going." he stood up, attempting to leave me hanging again. He yelped when my hand wrapped around his wrist, I wasn't able to control how tight it was.

"You're unbelievable, Baekhyun." I hissed.

"Let go, please..." he begs. His eyes are exhausted and cold, "let's talk some other time when we're both calm."

"No!" I pull him with my remaining strength, "Does Sehun have anything to do with this? Huh?!"

He pushes me away and pulls his wrist from my hold.

"He doesn't! Let go of me!" he says before successfully shifting away, "He doesn't have anything to do with this. Leave him out."

I laugh sarcastically. My hair is all messed up as I tucked it with all of my frustration. I gather all my strength but I ended up being so weak. I feel like it was killing me slowly.

"So that's it? Huh, Baekhyun? That's how you break me?" I forced a smile. He doesn't even look at me.

"Did you even love me?" I asked again.

He looks at me this time, "you can't ask that. It's unfair, Chanyeol..."

I grinned. _How fucked up are you, Chanyeol._

"You know what? It's fine. Go ahead!" I stepped towards the closet and grabs his things, "go back to your 'work' and bring all your things!" once I got a big hold of his belongings, I shoved them onto him. He watches me with the same expression, but his hands are trembling.

"You don't have to do this..." he mumbled faintly while I continued grabbing all his things. Most of them scattered on the floor.

"No! Take them with you! This is what you want right?!" I snapped. He helplessly stood there, watching me go through his things then throw them at him, "this is what you fucking want!"

I stopped when I got tired, breathing heavily while I stare at the clothes on the floor, some of them on his arms. I was mentally drained. Everything is draining up my system. When I did that, I wasn't thinking about the fact that I'll lose him completely.

"You didn't have to do this..." he repeated, preventing himself from crying again. I stared at him and my heart twisted more, as if the pain wasn't enough. I never wanted it to get this far. But I did this.

I badly want to walk to him, hug him tight and say sorry. Say that I'm willing to forget everything he said. That I was wrong, that I'll do better. But everything is done.

He lets go of all the clothes on his arms and they too, fell on the floor. He gulps before turning around and walking towards the door. My heart is rummaging inside my chest. I have never been so afraid in my entire life.

"Walk out that door, Baekhyun..." I said between my breath, he stopped but didn't turn around, "Walk out that door, and it's all over."

My hands were trembling as I watch him. I watched him hesitate then completely walk away, as if my words didn't even mean anything. As if _I_ didn't mean anything.   
  
  
  


x

I feel like someone is hammering my head when I woke up. I feel so sick that I couldn't even open my eyes. I start cursing all the liquors I've had last night.

My eyes opened wide as soon as I remember last night. _Everything._

"Baek..." I tapped the space beside me and felt the coldness of the sheet. I endured the excruciating pain when I sat up and looked around. Every pain starts to come back when I see the pile of clothes on the floor and the empty bottles on my side table.

I can't lose him like this. I was dumb. I need to talk to him now that my head is clear.

I only change into some decent clothes before heading straight to my car. He must be in his mother's house. If he isn't, then I could ask someone there to tell me where.

I try calling him but he doesn't answer. Maybe he's still asleep. Or maybe he's still mad. Either way, I understand. I'll go to him myself.

_From: Mihawk_

_Where are you? I thought you'll go here early? Meeting is at 1 don't even forget. They already called for a notice._

I gulped. I can still go there. Right after I talk to Baek, I'll head straight to the studio. Everything will be fine.

They let me in when they recognized me. I walked quickly inside the house but I bumped into someone I didn't want to see.

"Chanyeol." Shein looked surprised when she saw me, but her usual diva attitude comes back.

"What are you doing here?" I asked seriously. She raised her brows.

"I should ask you the same." she says before narrowing her eyes, "Aren't you supposed to be at..." her puzzled expression fades when her lips curved into a grin. I creased my forehead.

"Oh... So you were also included in the uninvited list?" she scoffs, "Poor Chanyeol..."

I shake my head.

"What do you mean?"

She chuckles, "This is so much interesting than I expected..." I stare at her intently, "someone just had a send-off party. Can you guess who?"

I stare at her in confusion, but my face softens when I realized. Her grin grows wider.

"No..."

"Yes, love." she taunts, "Little baekhyunnie is leaving today. Did you not know?" my breathing got hitched. This can't be happening.

"Where is he going?!" my voice raised and she didn't even budge.

"Probably where the company he'll take over is located." she shakes his head, "Did you even see this coming? That he'll leave you for an empire he badly wants to inherit? Because I did."

"Shut up." I hissed. She laughs but stopped when I held her wrist tight.

"Where Shein? What time is his flight? Tell me!"

"I don't know! Probably Incheon!" he yelps when I held her tighter, "Ouch! To America! They just left an hour ago! That's what I heard! Let go!"

I walk back to my car without looking back. I could hear her mocking words from behind but I was too occupied to even give a shit. I need to catch his flight.

My hand is shaking so bad while I try to dial his number on my phone. My heart is beating so fast. I'm just scared. _I'm so scared._

He's still not answering. I didn't stop trying. I dialed again.

"Please...please, answer. I'm begging." I muttered under my breath, cursing because of the traffic.

My heart almost stops when he picks up after a few rings.

"Baekhyun!" I call, he remained silent from the other line, "Baek...where are you? I want to see you, please. Please tell me..."

He remained silent for a moment, before answering.

_"I'm in the airport, Chanyeol."_

My hands clutch tighter against the wheel. His gentle voice kills me in the cruelest ways.

"Where are you going? I'm heading there, Baek. Hang on. Wait for me, okay?" my voice trembles. I harshly pushed the horn when the car stops again. Goddammit!

_"My flight is in 4 minutes. Don't go here anymore. You have a meeting to attend." _he says casually, as if I'm not struggling to catch him.

"I'm sorry, Baek. Everything I said...I-I'm sorry...Please..." my voice broke, "don't leave me. Don't leave me like this, I'm begging you..." the tears I've been preventing to fall since last night are all here.

_"Don't say sorry, it's not your fault..."_ I could tell that he's smiling based from his voice, and it hurts me more, _"I just...have to fix some things, Yeol. It might be long...or for good, but you'll be fine. Y-You'll be fine, baby."_ his voice is shaking too. I harshly wiped the hot tears on my eyes.

"What do I need to do, Baek? Just tell me! I'll do everything. Just don't go...don't leave. Please." I asked desperately. But I felt like he's only shaking his head from where he is, and I might be right.

_"F-Forget me. And don't go after me. That's what I want you to do..."_

I shake my head. I can't. _I can never do that._

_"I need to go now, Yeol."_

"BAEKHYUN, I SWEAR TO GOD!" I yelled as I drove faster, but the traffic just made me stop once again, "I s-swear to God, Baekhyun...don't."

He only laughs between his breath. I could hear his faint sniffs.

_"I forgot to say..."_ his voice trembled.

He paused. I harshly hit the wheel in so much frustration.

_"I'm so proud of you, Chanyeol."_

I was a crying mess inside my car. I've never cried this hard before since Mama died. I feel so hopeless. I can't do anything aside from crying and I fucking hate it so much.

"B-Baekhyun..." I breathed out.

_"And to answer your question last night, I do. I love you. I will never stop."_ he said before completely hanging up. I called for his name. I shouted for it. I tried calling him but he was gone.  
  
  


I walked inside my empty house. It was just as lifeless as I am.

I didn't even bother taking off my socks. I walked straight to my room and saw the untouched pile of clothes. I kicked them to the side so I could sit on the floor beside my bed. I clicked on my voice mail before leaning on the edge of the bed behind me. My eyes are blank. I stared at the floor. Random calls from this day start playing.

_"Chanyeol, where are you? Don't tell me you're still asleep?! Today is the meeting!"_

_"Hey, Chanyeol. I know you might be busy. But Baekhyun seems off today. Is there something wrong? Call me when you receive this."_

_"F-cktard! Where are you? We're all here! It's less than an hour before the investors arrive, get your ass in here!"_

_"Hey, it's Heechul. Baekhyun is leaving today. Did you know about this? I'm worried. Call back."_

_"Sir? Where are you? The investors are here, they're all waiting for you..."_

_"Deal's off, man. I hope you had a good sleep."_

I listen to them all, everything. In less than a day, I watched my dreams shatter in front of me. I watched myself lose everything. And even how hard I sob right now, nothing will hear me. Nothing will change.

My life, my dream, _they're all gone._


	27. 26-Fulfilled

_"I. am. panicking."_

He shakes his head while silently laughing. He can hear random things falling from the other line, along with a bunch of curse words.

_"Why the fuck are you telling me this just now?!"_ she added hysterically.

"It was unplanned okay! I need to go there for a few days because I should fix a lot of stuff." he casually says. His phone is in between his shoulder and ear while he puts his bag over the compartment. A guy walks behind him and helps him put in there, making him smile sweetly while mouthing '_thank you'._

_"I just got laid and here you are messing with my whole life, Mister."_

"I don't think I needed to hear that but yup my friend, I'm still being a little considerate for informing you now because you still have err..." he clicks his tongue as he looks at his watch, "approximately 13 hours to get your shit together before you see me."

_"More than three fucking years and this is how you make a comeback? Byun Baekhyun, I expected so much from you." _he only chuckled.

"I don't think I need that, really."

Thanks to consistent flights and travelling, Baekhyun can finally say that he's done with that phase where he just wanted to puke every hour in this kind of flight. He's composed and relaxed throughout the flight, eating and sleeping whenever he needs to. It was the same usual routine. What's new is that, somewhere in him, he's afraid. That relaxing sleep he wanted you to believe he had was in fact, filled with thoughts. Thoughts of anticipation, fear and every emotion beyond that. He never thought it would be this fast. That going back home would be this fast. And he doesn't think he's ready.

Or if he'll ever be ready for this.

Long hours had passed and the moment came when he looked out of the window, the sky is filled with colors of orange and blue. Right beneath it is the country he had missed. He gulps with the sight of the familiar land, that was once his home, and maybe still is. He never expected to feel the same intensity of home sickness he felt a few years back.

It was madness. The years he spent away were not a rollercoaster, but a race car ride. _Without the seatbelt._ He learned a lot of things, and that included living happily in a foreign setting. But seeing this place right now with his eyes, it was like he knew that moment, that a part of him was indeed left here.

_"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Incheon International Airport. Local time is 06:43 AM and the temperature is 14°C. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seat Belt sign."_

He waits for a few minutes before the plane completely landed. He tries to dismiss the exaggerated thumping inside his chest.

His steps were heavy once he got off the plane. He once thought that it was a ridiculous saying, that the air from varying places feel different as well. But it's true. Because the cold breeze of morning in Korea had his mouth going dry for some reason.

"Oh my god!!!"

His lips break into a big smile while his eyes crinkled. Before he knew it, he's smashed into a tight hug by his still petite friend.

"I was hoping to sneak behind you but you got a sharp sight." he grins.

"I missed you! I missed you, you _fucking _jackass!" she tries so hard to hold back her tears. Baekhyun laughs because of this, making her hit him more, "You didn't even tell us you were planning to leave us with boring Friday nights! It was a torture, Baekhyun!"

"I'm here now, right? I can still catch up." he grins, "I missed you too. I really did." it turns into a smile. Jieun pouts before blinking continuously and hugs him once more. He groans when he hears an exaggerated crying against his chest.  
  


  
"So...you're not going back right? I'm totally unfriending you if you leave again." Jieun says while driving, Baekhyun sighs.

"Stop it! You know my life isn't here anymore." he frowns.

"Your life has always been here! What the hell are you talking about!"

"Like I said, I'm only here for business." he bites his lip, his gaze is directed at the view outside. "You can't possibly manage a business from the other side of the planet while partying here in Korea. I didn't bring it back to its feet just to leave it again." there was a short pause.

"Why will you stay in my place? Not that I don't want it, of course. I love the idea. But I'm curious, why didn't you consider your Mom's house?" she asks while focused on the road.

"I considered that too..." Baekhyun answers while staring at the buildings outside, "but I'm alone. And it's too big. I don't like it." Jieun nods before stopping because of the sign. He catches his friend scanning him from head to toe.

"You look different though, Baek."

"Huh? How different?" he raises his brow before flashing a smile, "Do I look like American now?"

"Certainly not. But you lost weight. And you really look like a business-oriented person now. Look at that decent slacks, that used to be an inappropriately tight leather jeans, but now..." she sighs, "I think I need to step up my game. My friends are all looking professional now and here I am..." he laughs.

"Why? How do I look like before?"

"Uh...thirsty cunt."

He throws his neck pillow, directly hitting her head. She hits back until they stop because of too much laughing.

"How's Sehun by the way?"

"Good."

Jieun intriguingly raises a brow. Baekhyun looks at her, "What?"

"Good? That's it?" she smirks.

"He finished his master's earlier this year. He's doing great. He wanted to come along but I told him not to, after all he has a lot of job offers there. So yeah, he's good." he answers shortly. Jieun slowly nods her head.

"He deserves it. For keeping your sex life active. What a noble young man." she grins. Baekhyun's eyes widen.

"What the fuck! We're not having sex, you malicious brat." he denies instantly. Jieun only made a face.

"That's not what I heard!"

"Whatever you heard is a complete bull. We were friends and we still are." he clicks his tongue. Jieun looks at him then back to the road.

"Speaking of that," she starts off, pausing as if choosing the right words to utter, "Any plans to check upon your old _friends?" _Baekhyun immediately gets the hint but chooses to play dumb. He knew this will be brought up. Of course.

"Heechul? We're meeting him tomorrow, right?" he asks before staring back at the window.

"You know that's not what I meant." she stares at him, implying a lot of things, "_Chanyeol_."

"Oh." Baekhyun finds himself becoming speechless. He already rehearsed what to answer, even back in the US. But hearing it now makes his tongue tied in a knot, "I...haven't heard from him. How is he? He's in Japan, right?" he flashes a small smile, trying so hard to stay casual. Jieun looks directly at him before looking back in front.

"Well, in case you didn't know, he didn't get that deal from Japan before." this made Baekhyun look at her. He blinks a few times, making sure he heard it right. "And since then, I haven't talked to him that much anymore since he resigned. And then I resigned too, so we lost connection. I don't know about Heechul, if they still keep in touch. But this year, I heard his name somewhere. He's doing great, I'm sure. I just don't know about the other details." she said. Baekhyun fell silent. He didn't know. _He never knew that Chanyeol didn't...close the deal._

Jieun notices his sudden silence. She purses her lips before talking to her friend who's already spacing out.

"You know Chanyeol always had so much potential. I'm sure he's doing great, Baek."

Baekhyun gulps before forcing a smile.

"Of course. I know he's doing fine...and I'm happy."

Baekhyun rested as soon as they got into Jieun's place. He had a little difficulty adjusting in a different surrounding. Unwanted thoughts are filling his mind but in no time, he was able to doze off.

He wakes up before dusk, looking slightly bewildered when he realizes he's not in his bedroom. But he sighs in relief when he remembers. Jieun isn't there anymore, she probably has gone to work, leaving a small note on the fridge telling him to do whatever he pleases. He looks around and feels completely lost. He's not used to it anymore, staying in the house without doing anything. He's been used to having days where he's just drowning himself into a pile of work.

Baekhyun stops and stares into space for a minute. His eyes widen as soon as he remembers something important. That thing he really needs to do that's why he came back. He reaches out for his bag and dials a number.

An old friend answers.

"How are you? I just arrived today..." he says, smiling. "Oh...really? Will it be fine?" he asks reluctantly. He nods when the other answers.

"Okay, I'll go there now. I can just drive you back to your house as well, if you don't mind... I want to finally meet her."

It's really nice and a lot easier when Jieun has two cars. She immediately agrees when Baekhyun calls her to borrow the other. She was just asking constantly about things, worried that Baekhyun may get lost or drive himself to death because he's a 'tourist'.

"Will you calm down? I'm not that stupid to forget basic routes of this city." he says until she finally lets it go. Baekhyun dressed as decent as he could, after all, he doesn't expect it to be the same anymore. Baekhyun had always been a reckless driver, but since he moved to the states, he learned to drive more safely because he realized that dying in a car crash isn't really his thing. He used a map through his app to make sure he's still heading to the right direction and to let Jieun breathe in relief. But when he gets nearer, he immediately spotted a very bright tower, as if he's looking at it three years ago.

"What..." his mouth flew open. He never thought that it's still there, even brighter than before. He thought it was demolished.

He feels the need to turn off his map because it's no use anymore. He knows where to go. He looks at the tower every now and then, still in awe. He has a lot of questions. As soon as he reached the tower's parking lot, he heads straight to the lobby. He notices the minor changes. There is still a construction going on at the main entrance, the old company he used to work for has no trace of its name there anymore. _Well of course, Baekhyun. It is sold. _He shakes his head.

He looks around and sees that the minor changes weren't really...minor. The usual office vibe is gone, there are more people inside the building but it's still quiet. He also stands out among all of them because of his formal clothing, some of them are wearing sweatpants, casual shirt and sweaters. He suddenly felt conscious. _What the hell is this?_

"Baekhyun-ah!"

He looks behind and sighs in relief when he finally found someone he can talk to. He can't take those stares from the employees anymore.

"Mr. Kang..." he calls and hugs him tight as soon as he got close. The security guard is literally older now. His hair is filled with gray strands and he also moves slower. And Baekhyun is wondering why the man is still working when he should be in his home.

"Oh..." the old man lets out a joyful laugh, scanning him from head to toe, "I can see how successful you are now. Time has really gone by so fast." he looks at his watch, "Do you want to see the rooftop? I thought you might have missed it after those years." he offers and Baekhyun feels relieved that he initiated going in there. After all, he isn't sure it's allowed since it's a new management.

Baekhyun smiles brightly before nodding. They walk to the elevator up to the highest floor. Baekhyun can't help roaming his eyes around, especially with the glass elevator where he's able to get a good view of what the building has become. And he couldn't recognize it at all.

"Mr. Kang...why aren't there any cubicles anymore? Do the employees have their own office now?" he asks curiously as they walk up the stairs towards the rooftop deck. Mr Kang lets out a laugh because of this. He forgot what he just asked as soon as he gets a full sight of the giant beacon, he narrows his eyes to be able to see because it's too bright. His heart is beating fast, it still affects him as much as before. They walk towards the railings.

"Well, I forgot to tell you, but it's not really a company office anymore. The halls inside are filled with rehearsal rooms, few private offices, and recording rooms. The renovation isn't even finished yet." he explains and Baekhyun nods.

"Yeah, I noticed." he says when he remembers seeing the construction outside, "but...what happened? I thought the company that was supposed to buy wanted to really...restart everything?"

"Ah... It was bought by a different person. He was also the one who fixed my contract and let me stay here, I got appointed as the head of security staff." he says, straightening his uniform as if it's his most valuable belonging, "he also made sure that this beacon stays."

"That's so great to hear. I'm so happy you got to stay here." he smiles, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you that time..."

"No. Baekhyun, what you've been giving is more than enough. I will always be grateful to you." the old man taps his back.

"Still," he says, smiling sincerely. "I would love to thank the new owner for helping you and keeping the most important thing stay here. He must've felt how special this light is to so many people..." he looks up, staring softly at the beacon he never forgot. A certain person suddenly comes into his mind. _He must be happy about this. _Baekhyun smiles to himself.

"Certainly." Mr Kang agrees, "He's very nice. I have always seen how good his heart is." Baekhyun is suddenly curious about him, but shrugs it off instantly.

"Anyway, I'll drive you home tonight so you won't have to take the bus and we can still catch up...and I really want to meet―" Mr Kang gasps.

"Oh, that I almost forgot..." Mr Kang checks his watch again, "Can we go inside for a while? I should go to my boss right now. We can go after."

"Oh, okay." they went back to the highest floor beneath the deck and walked inside an automatic door. Now, that Baekhyun noticed, the whole floor is so wide but it only has like, two rooms in it. The walls are surrounded by paintings and it's the most quiet floor. This may be for the owner alone. Even if Baekhyun denies, he's curious about what he's like. He was left with a good impression since he let the most important things stay where they should be.

He hears a door opening and closing. Mr. Kang looks right behind him.

"There he is. Excuse me first, Baekhyun. If you don't mind waiting here for a minute..." Baekhyun nods when the old man walks away from him. He follows him with his gaze, until he sees him stop at the end of the hall where some staffs are bowing out of respect to a person who's carrying a little kid on his arm. Baekhyun's eyes narrow in full attempt to see the face of the man, who he's sure is the new owner of this building. He takes a light step forward, Mr. Kang's figure is blocking his face from his sight.

"Oh shit..."

Baekhyun's breath hitched. It was as if his feet automatically stepped backward when he finally gets a clear sight of him.

It is a familiar face. No. It's a _known_ one. He knew. He knows it by heart and mind. He wears a gray v-neck sweater with its sleeves rolled up to his elbow. His black hair is pushed back, and his shoulders are much broader now. He smiles the same, flashing his perfect set of teeth while he talks to the same old man.

His eyes are full of love. He was laughing as if all he ever needed in life is the little kid laughing in his arms. Baekhyun breathes heavily.

_"Chanyeol..."_

And Baekhyun's heart is crashing. Because in that moment, he sees the man he left, having that one thing he has always want for himself.

Chanyeol looks complete. He is fulfilled. Whereas Baekhyun never felt any of this for himself even after such a long time.

Baekhyun is statued on the same spot. He can't even think straight. The place suddenly becomes so suffocating as if the air is gone. _He needs to get out. He wants to get out._

But his dumb self is still staring at his past lover a few feet away from him, watching how his eyes twitch every time he laughs. And then Baekhyun is suddenly asking himself, is it wrong that he's now tearing up because it seems that he just found what has been missing in him for so long?

His heart almost stops when Mr Kang looks back at him, and even if he knows what's next, he still anticipated how Chanyeol's eyes fell directly on him. And just as he expected, the smile he's been gushing over for a while now suddenly fades off.

"Baekhyun!" Mr Kang motions his hand to make him come over, but he doesn't move. The old man creases his brows because of his sudden reluctance. _He thought he wanted to meet the boss himself?_

Chanyeol is obviously taken aback as well. Baekhyun only looks away when he noticed Mr Kang is walking back to his way. He tries to collect himself.

"Baekhyun-ah! Let's go. I'll introduce you to the owner..." he smiles while getting nearer. Baekhyun shakes his head instantly. He stood still even when Mr Kang starts pulling his hand.

"What's the matter?"

"S-Sorry..." he stutters, his whole body going cold, "I need to go...I-I'll just―I..." he can't even form a decent sentence. His eyes gaze back to Chanyeol, who's still staring at him, the child he carries plays with his face so he smiles again, but it's definitely forced this time.

"Baekhyun-ah, are you okay?" Mr Kang starts to get worried. Baekhyun nods in an instant, but his heavy breathing says otherwise.

"Something...just c-came up. I need to go, I'm sorry..." he says before turning back. The elevator is at the end of the hall so he chose to run towards the stairs that are much nearer. He was panting when he reached the floor below where he took the elevator. His gaze is on the floor, his mind isn't processing everything yet.

But it hurts. _Why does it hurts so bad? It's been more than three years, Baekhyun. Almost four, damn it._  
  
  
  
  


_"Baekhyun? Where are you?" _he listens, but he doesn't talk, _"I've been calling you and you won't answer. I'm worried."_

Baekhyun blinks a few times before clearing his throat.

"I'm..." he thinks of convincing words, "I'm fine. I just roamed around by myself for a while." he lied. He looks at the unfamiliar faces around him.

_"Where are you? Why is it so loud?" _Jieun starts panicking, _"Where did you really go, Baekhyun? You're freaking me out!"_

"I..." he pauses when he remembers it vividly, "I went to my old workplace. Guess what? I saw Chanyeol." he tells it and tries to sound so enthusiastic. Jieun isn't even close to being convinced.

_"Really?" _her voice suddenly becomes so gentle, as if trying to weigh Baekhyun's words, _"Did you talk? How is he?"_

"Uhm, I don't think he saw me. But you're right..." he chuckles, and it's faker than anything, "You're right. He's doing good...great even." he continuously says as if he's simply talking about an old friend.

Jieun doesn't answer. She's trying to find words. The right ones that can ease everything for her friend, who's obviously feeling miserable. But she can't think of anything.

And so Baekhyun continues.

"You wouldn't even believe it. But he's really a producer now. I think he also has his own company of some sort, and it's huge, mind you. I also think he's married. He even has a cute toddler with him. Can you believe it? I was right. I always knew he will make such a good father." he continuously says, not even taking a breath in between his words. He also keeps the smile etched on his face, as if Jieun can see him and he has to convince her so bad. He paused, gulping the lump in his throat.

_"Baekhyun?" _Jieun's voice is filled with worry and Baekhyun's dreaded sympathy.

"And oh, I almost forgot, the building is also his favorite tower back then. See? He owns it already. He was just gushing over it a few years ago. He was able to preserve everything he loved from it." he smiles wider, but his gaze is fixed on the very same spot, "He has such a cute child. Very very cute. I wonder how his wife looks like...she must be gorgeous. I heard he produced so many good songs that are known here these days. See? I've seen that potential in him even years ago. Everything that happened lead to this. I knew..." he almost stuttered but still finished it, "I knew I made a good decision." his face hurts because of the big smile on his face. But it only appears to be because he successfully said everything without breaking down.

_"Baekhyun...where are you?" _he can tell Jieun's already on her feet, grabbing her keys to get him. But now is not the time. If he continues to feel like shit, he will accept it. But he will not look like shit in front of someone he knows.

"I..." he bites his lip, "I want to be alone, Jieun...I-I'll be okay. I'll sleep at Mom's house tonight, don't wait for me." he said, hanging up before his friend could even answer.

Baekhyun looks around, everyone has their own business. The loud music and voices made him nostalgic. Who is he kidding? It's not okay. Nothing's fine. It is sad. _It is so fucking lonely._

He dismissed every person coming to his way, trying to get his attention. He wants to be alone and drown into alcohol, _what part of that is hard to understand?_

He's feeling shit. He's not fine. Who the _fuck _will be happy seeing their ex having the time of his life? Having everything he dreamed of? _Literally everything. _God fucking dammit, Baekhyun isn't happy about that.

He feels like dying all those years. And when he comes back, avoiding anything related to Chanyeol, he still couldn't escape his presence. Why must everything be connected to him?

The bartender is looking at him every now and then after he ordered another bucket, as if worried and curious to why he's alone. Baekhyun only stares back, he doesn't need another sympathy.

_This is pathetic. _Baekhyun laughs at his own misfortune, finally letting the tears fell from his eyes because _who the fuck cares? It's dark, he's alone, and he's fucked up. _This is one of the moments where Baekhyun just wants to drink every single bottle of hard liquors and pass out on the street, and probably die there.

He doesn't understand. He was good before he met Chanyeol. He was free, untamed and strong. Living without him is bearable. Living without him was a piece of cake. It should be, _he had done it before. _It was sex and the same wonder. It was a quick thrilling love. It should have stayed quick.

"Pathetic..." Baekhyun repeats out loud, smiling sarcastically at his own glass. Sehun was right, _he shouldn't have come back. _He thought he was tough and all, he thought that when he comes back he won't be the one regretting, but joke's on him because he has always been regretting every single thing. From the very moment he left.

_You left him, Baekhyun. _He tells himself, _don't be stupid to think that he'll wait for you._

Baekhyun's eyes start drooping. His eyelids feel heavy. He does a hard blink, convincing himself that he can still drive, even if it may appear as suicidal.

"-nix! Man, I got your reservation!" he heard the nosy bartender greet someone, but he remains oblivious, and well, drunk. His eyes are already blurred to even look at his surroundings, he leans down to the counter, his head over his arms. He wants to sleep.

If you think about it, they both got what they want. They fixed everything that is needed. The only difference between them, Chanyeol moved on and doesn't give a shit anymore, _Baekhyun feels like shit on the other hand._

"Are you okay?" someone taps him on the arm that made him flinch. He looks at the man beside him and gives him a glare even though it looks like his eyes are covered by plastic because it's so blurry. Baekhyun realizes how messed up he is right now. He really drank too much. _This is gonna be a tough night._

"_Fuck _off."

"He's been here for hours, I don't think he has plans on leaving or if he can even do it." he heard the bartender say but his words are rumbled in his mind. Silence follows and Baekhyun is finally starting to sleep on the very same counter.

"Sir..." someone wakes him up again, "Sir, we're closing soon. You need to go." Baekhyun waves him off with his hand.

"Go away!"

"Sir..."

"Let him," another one says, the bartender said more but Baekhyun is too busy sleeping to even understand him, "I'll do it." he hears a voice right beside him. He suddenly feels his arm being held by someone.

"I said go away!" he defies, he feels the moist on his face, coming from his eyes that didn't seem to stop.

Baekhyun was too weak to fight back. He just continuously cussed the person holding him out of the bar, but he did nothing. If he ends up getting raped or killed then _damn it._

It was a blur. He feels like he's in a moving car but he doesn't know if he's dreaming or he's in reality. His eyes are closed the whole time and what's funny is that, Chanyeol's face comes flashing back exactly how he saw him that day. Baekhyun is sure he's been mumbling out his ex's name for quite some time now.

He doesn't know when, where or how, but he feels his back thumping on a soft bed after a few moments. He's almost definite that he will get raped. But he isn't sane enough to come up with that first, he's too busy mumbling so many things. _And crying actually._

"I c-can't...please." he sobs, "It h-hurts..." his body curls up into fetal position as he clutches his chest. His eyes opened for a bit and he can still see the person's figure in front of him, standing steadily.

_He can see me being pathetic. _Somewhere in his mind, he thought. _But it's okay. _Baekhyun says as if comforting himself, he'll just go back to being strong tomorrow. It's an easy act. _It has always been._

He continues to cry and sob like a child. He can't even understand what he's saying anymore. All he knows is, it's too much.

"Chanyeol. Chanyeol..." he mumbles, _"Chanyeol..."_ the name has been slipping out of his lips for quite some time now. He repeats it until he gets tired and all he could do was sob. He hears the door opening and closing, and he was alone right then.

"_I love you._ I told you I won't stop..." he weakly whispers to himself before passing out.


	28. 27-Ideal Parent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late updates, my big exam is getting closer :(
> 
> I hope you can leave comments! I really appreciate them ^^

"Amazing."

He swiftly pulls the big headphones down to his neck. The people inside the room behind the thick glass in front of him watch him with anticipation.

"Good, good. Let's do it that way, Johnny. Take turns in singing this part." he leans on his chair with an aura of authority, his palms are rubbing against each other while his eyes are glued to the paper in front of him.

The people inside continuously watch his reactions.

"Let's stop here guys."

They exchange looks, panic almost evident in their gazes.

"Uhm...are we doing great already, hyung?" they ask reluctantly, in awe as to why the producer suddenly asks for a break in the middle of the recording.

Chanyeol finally looks at them, then smiles.

"Almost there."

"Will we proceed later today?" he continues to step outside while his arranger walks beside him. He wears his cap as they both walk to the exit, its color matches his dark hoodie and casual shorts.

"Still not sure. I've got to go somewhere important." despite he's very casual outfit, people that see him instantly bow or greet him politely. He only nods his head to them, "And besides, let the kids rest. They had a tough week."

"Tough week from you, you say." the other chuckles, "you've been keeping them up to work on this project and now you're being concerned about them. Seriously Chanyeol, it's not hard to be warm to your staffs sometimes. Stop with this boss facade. You're literally being a boss."

"Am I not?" he retaliates with a point, "It's for their album so they should work their asses off for it. I'm not babying them and instantly hand them some quality music."

"Yeah _sure_, Producer-_Loey_." the guy taunts, his lips only curved, "Really, sometimes you got me wondering what could've happened if you closed that large offer from Japan a few years ago." he chuckles lightly. Chanyeol only grins, the quick gulp he made went unnoticed.

Then he only shrugs, not knowing what to say. Or at least, he just doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

"I bet you wouldn't reach this far. I mean..." Chanyeol looks straight forward, but he's fully listening, "Think about it, if you started as their affiliate then it would've taken so long before you become so successful. Building everything on your own was indeed the best move, Chanyeol." he says, amazement filled his voice. Chanyeol sighs before forcing a smile.

"Certainly." he says shortly, "It's great when you have no regrets." he raises both his brows before tapping his arranger's arm, "I've got to go, dude. Eunhee's probably waiting."

"Wait what?" the other had his mouth open, "You just went there yesterday!"

Chanyeol only lets out an airy laugh. He gives a quick wave before hopping inside his car.

"You are smitten, Chanyeol!"

The early morning chill from the window woke him up again. He finds himself uttering a cuss as his first word for the day because once again, he forgot to close his window from last night. One of these days, he's sure he'll get pneumonia.

Another dilemma is his throbbing head, as if someone's inside his skull and is axing his head from the inside. Another hangover that he already knew what shit he had done last night.

_"I'd love to hear from you again, Chanyeollie."_

Face scrunching in pain, he reads down the tiny note over his side table. Below it is a name of a woman he barely recognizes and a phone number beside. The hearts and kisses made him cringe before he crumples the note and throws it somewhere. What he needs right now, is an aspirin. Yes, before he even decide to slam his head on the wall.

He walks out of his guest room. Yes, that's where he slept. Thankfully, he isn't completely mental to bring his one night stands inside his own bedroom. That would've been more pain in the ass. As much as Chanyeol can, he doesn't even bring them in his house. But cases like this, when he's not sober even for a bit, make them uncontrollable. It's even worse when some of them doesn't get the memo of drunken sex and tries to contact him again after. But he learned to get used to it. After all, this is one of the very few things he can relieve his stress with. It's normal. Being a producer and having your own company to run somewhat deprived him from occasionally having fun.

Dressing himself with his usual casual attire, with the hoodie and rubber shoes, he made sure to call someone in the studio to inform them he'll be arriving a little late. He also made sure to buy himself a coffee and a whole box of these little donuts he often buys. Soon, he drives to the familiar home in the suburban area. Camphor trees start to get his attention and he doesn't forget to thank his fortune for having such a nice weather despite the winter approaching soon.

With a route he already memorized, he reaches a small house surrounded by short conifers and wooden fences. He smiles as soon as he gets off the car, with the box of treat on his hand. It grows wider when an old woman coincidentally comes out from the door, her wrinkly eyes crinkled with the sight of the young man.

"Mr Park!"

"Oh no, Ma'am. Please― I told you...."

"Ah yes! Sorry I forgot!" her laugh is contagious, she walks towards Chanyeol and gently taps him by the arm, "I always forget to call you Chanyeol!"

He looks down to smile at her, her height only reaches Chanyeol's chest. Her walking is also slower because of age. Nevertheless, Chanyeol feels her warmth whenever he goes there.

"I hope you don't mind... that I'm here again." he sheepishly said. The woman laughs with this.

"Oh no, dear! We love having you here. It's lonely with only the three of us, you know? Eunhee misses you already, I can tell! She fell asleep early last night." he only laughs, he misses her as well, "Last night, you didn't stay for dinner though. Please join us for lunch today. I'm sure it will make her glad." Chanyeol realizes that he already needs to guide her into walking because it becomes a little more difficult for her. He agrees to stay for lunch right then.

"Please, have a sit. She's with Jungmin at the back of the house. You know...walking under such a nice weather..." she laughs again and Chanyeol smiles back. He's glad that despite the intimidation in her eyes, she's finally learning to interact with him casually, "I'll call them, Mr Park! And oh...I'll get you something to drink as well!"

He opens his mouth to say it's fine but the old woman quickly goes to the kitchen. The once again forgotten first name basis made him smile for a bit. He patiently sits on the wooden chair and clasped his hands together. And even after seeing them quite a few times before, he still can't help but look at the collection of toys and educational children's books organized on the living room. When he hears small running steps from behind and an inaudible rambling, he immediately turns around.

"Yah! Don't run!"

_"Pak! -ark! Pak!"_

Chanyeol automatically kneels down and spreads his long arms in the air. The kid's tiny and sweaty face soon bumps onto his chest and her little arms wrap around his neck, making him lift her up as he stands up. His bright smile is equally bright as hers.

"You already missed Uncle Park, did you?" he pinches the kid's nose that made her giggle all the way through.

"-cle pak! Pak! To-nuuuuut!" he can't help chuckling with the child's incoherent words that only him seemed to understand.

"Why would I forget your donuts! I bought you some, but!" he lifts the box up when she tries to reach it eagerly, earning him a pout, "We have to eat lunch first okay? This is for dessert. You know dessert?"

"Deh-srert?" her eyes rounded and Chanyeol can't stop smiling.

"Oh, _Eunhee_."

The four of them sat around the small round table. Just enough for a small family. The old man and woman start to eat but their eyes are glued to Chanyeol, who's not eating a bit of his food yet because he's busy feeding the little child beside him. The couple had to exchange looks every now and then because the sight is just pure bliss.

As if nothing can be more perfect.

The lady doesn't hesitate to show her joy, obviously gushing and laughing once in a while when the child pulls her tricks to the smiling young man beside her. The old man watches them as well, although he can't bring himself to smile that much. He only observes them.

"Oh, this kid...she chews the food for too long..." the old man groans while shaking his head, Chanyeol only smiles yet continues to wait for her to finish, "Mr Park, you must be hungry...Please eat. Yeonhee can feed her now..." he lightly taps his wife who still has a trace of smile on her face. Chanyeol raised his brows before shaking his head.

"No, it's fine. I really enjoy this." he assures them, gazing back at the kid who's keenly observing them while munching her food, "And just call me Chanyeol...if you don't mind." he adds timidly. The both of them chuckle when they realized they forgot again.

"Chanyeol, aren't you busy? Don't you have to work today? We're worried that Eunhee might be taking that much of your time..." the old woman asks with a bit of reticence.

"Oh no, Ma'am...I'll just head to the studio this afternoon. I don't really have that much to do so don't worry..." well, of course he has a lot to do but he won't say that. Spending time with Eunhee actually becomes his priority. He looks back to Eunhee and catches her staring at him with her puzzled expression so he scrunches his nose, "Right, Eunheeyaaa?" the kid bursts into giggles.

"Do you have any plans to get married?" she asks that made him smile uncomfortably.

"Yeonhee..." her husband mumbles.

"What? I'm just asking! You're a handsome young man, Chanyeol. I'm sure you have someone special in your life."

Chanyeol slowly shakes his head, "I'm single, actually..."

"Oh. Is that so..." she looks a bit surprised but nodded nonetheless.

"Being a producer is difficult, I don't think I have the time..."

"But you should never let your work be your whole life. You're young. Meet someone out there and live happily! Certainly you'll get the best woman for you." she lectures. Her husband is now looking at her as if scolding her. She just shrugged. Chanyeol chuckles.

"I don't have any interest about...that. I'm doing fine right now." he flashes a sincere smile. The old woman still looks unconvinced but her husband cuts her off before she adds more.

"My shift is also this afternoon, so I'll go to the building after this as well..."

Chanyeol looks at him. He eagerly shakes his head.

"But I already signed your resignation letter. You can just stay here with your wife, Sir. And Eunhee. You might get too exhausted again if you go to work." he says worriedly. The old woman agrees as she nods her head but the old man shakes his head persistently.

"I still have a month to go on duty, Mr Park. And besides, no one will assist the younger staffs if I'm not there." Chanyeol still tries to complain but he cuts him off with finality, "It's okay, don't worry. I feel fine. I just don't like abandoning my job, that's all." he had no choice but to let the man with his decision. It honestly bothers him. The couple in front of him look so fragile because of their age. Like any other people, he has a soft spot for the elders and seeing them exhaust themselves with a job they don't need to do really bothers him.

"Okay. But I'll drive you there, since I'm heading there as well..." he bites his lip before clearing his throat, "And...are you taking Eunhee..." before the man can even answer, his wife already butts in.

"Of course! You can take Eunhee with you." she answers, making her husband look at her, but she only smiles. He had no choice but to sigh especially when Chanyeol is already smiling, "Just look after her because Jungmin will probably be too busy to take care of her. Plus she likes you more than him." she said that made her and Chanyeol laugh.

"Thank you. I'll drive you both back home tonight and I'll look after her." he assured them.

"Well then..." the old man stands up from his seat, "I'll get ready now. Yeonhee, at least change the kid's clothes okay?" he says before completely walking to the kitchen. The woman looks at Chanyeol while she slowly shakes her head with her husband's grumpiness. Chanyeol only remains smiling slightly.

"I don't really get him most of the time, you know..." she mutters before coughing in between her sentence. She clears her throat before continuing, "I don't know what's stopping him from choosing you as Eunhee's potential guardian. The kid obviously _loves _you."

Chanyeol's lips curve into a sad smile.

"I understand. She's your granddaughter. She's your happiness. You have all the right to choose who should take care of her in the future." Chanyeol says, caressing the child's hair.

"But you know that if I were to choose, I'd rather give Eunhee to you. I know you can see how incapable we are to give her a good life now... And I don't know about Jungmin, but it's important for me that the people who want to be her guardian will always want to look after her as early as now." she says, becoming completely serious, "I've never seen the other couples who wanted to adopt her, care for her like you do."

Chanyeol doesn't answer. He watches Eunhee who's quietly munching her food, looking at him with her doe eyes, clueless. There's something twisting in his chest. He realizes how he wants this so bad. He loves the child and he badly wants to have her as a daughter.

"I know you'll be a perfect father for her, Chanyeol. My daughter would've chosen you too if she's alive."  
  


  
Eunhee was jumping enthusiastically as they hop inside the car she called _big vroom. _Like expected, she was so excited to be the only one in the car's passenger seat.

"Eunhee honey, please behave." her grandfather mumbles, smiling sheepishly at Chanyeol who doesn't mind at all.

The ride isn't that long so they had a short casual talk about work. There were also moments of silence, both of them looking behind every now and then to check on Eunhee. Chanyeol gained his courage to open up that one topic he's been itching to ask.

"Mr Kang...uh, if you don't mind me asking...but, is there any progress recently regarding Eunhee's guardianship?" the old man looks at him, he shakes his head in an instant, "don't get me wrong! I'm not pressuring you for a decision. I just want to know...if I stand a chance." he timidly says, unable to look directly into the man's eyes.

Eunhee is open for authorized custody. Because Mr and Mrs Kang are both very old now, her future won't be assured with them. As early as now, they are trying to find a possible guardian for her. And they didn't expect that a lot of people will show interest. After all, the child is like a ray of sunshine just by the way she beams. Chanyeol is completely taken away by her.

But Chanyeol is conflicted. Even if he's Mr Kang's new boss and he initially thought he'll get the man's vote for the custody, he was wrong because the man is obviously considering other choices aside from him. _To hell with it._ Chanyeol cussed. He may be unmarried but he will make sure Eunhee gets a good life and a love that she deserves. He knows to himself that he should be the one chosen because he's the best option.

"I know there's a lot of couples who want to adopt her as well. And I also fear that...maybe you're doubting me because unlike them, I'm on my own. But I want you to know that I'm willing to prove how worthy I am to—"

"Chanyeol," he stops in between his sentence, "It's not about that... I know how much better you are than most of them in terms of loving and caring for my granddaughter. And I'm fully aware...that I need to do what is needed as soon as possible since my wife isn't getting better but..." he gulps.

Chanyeol wants to say more but he's puzzled.

"Can I ask what's...possibly stopping you?"

The old man sighs heavily before glancing back to his granddaughter.

"I-I just want to give some of them a chance...like you, some people love and care for her too. I want to make sure Eunhee's future will be secured...especially if we won't be there anymore." he explains reluctantly.

Chanyeol slowly nods. As always, he understands.  


x  


"How dare you give my number to your random hookups again, Chanyeol!" Jaewon comes crashing into his office with a big frown, but it is immediately melted into a smile when he spots a tiny kid slouched on the carpeted floor of Chanyeol's office, "Why, hello there, sweetheart. You're here again tagging along with Uncle Park, are you?" Eunhee looks at him blankly while he pinches her cheeks. Chanyeol looks up from his serious gaze at his folder.

"Keep your dirty hands away from her." Chanyeol hisses before looking back to his files.

"Don't try to change the topic—oh wait there little munchkin okay?" he says when Eunhee pulls down the hem of his shirt, "Chanyeol, please. I know early SOP's are sexy but getting them from random chicks that moan your name is beyond disturbing so if you don't mind!" he placed both his hands on his waist but Chanyeol only shrugs.

"Get a girlfriend for Pete's sake! You're a renowned producer and owner of a rising entertainment company! Use it!" Chanyeol only glares at him then goes back to reading. Jaewon sighs in defeat, "God, I wonder if Baekhyun's still here what could've..."

"Stop." Chanyeol snaps, "stop that."

"What? Past is past, right? No big deal!"

"Do not get me started Jaewon." his tone becomes darker.

But Jaewon doesn't even budge.

"Oh c'mon. Don't act like you never think about how he's doing..." he taunts that made Chanyeol throw the folder he's holding to the table.

"I don't, actually. I am fully aware that he's having the best time with Sehun somewhere and probably with his multimillionaire company so I'm not really concerned. Now can you let it go?" he scoffs while smiling sarcastically.

"Yeah right, moved on, yeah." Jaewon mocks that made him clench his jaw. His friend threw his hands in the air as if surrendering, "Fine...fine. I'll shut up. I'll just talk to Eunheenie instead!" he looks back to the playing child and carries her up in the air.

"How old is Eunhee again?" he scrunched his nose, Eunhee shows three of her little fingers, "oh you're three! How fast time goes by. Uncle Park has the same age as you, except it's flipped over." Jaewon laughs loud with his own joke, making the child giggle and Chanyeol glare at him for sounding so dumb.

"So..." Jaewon starts off again, the child still in his arms, "when are you officially gonna get her custody?" he asks. Chanyeol doesn't answer but after a few seconds, he looks up to them with his serious face.

"I'm still processing the requirements of the court. But Mr Kang said that they called for a meeting this weekend. I think it's for all her potential guardians." he said, watching the kid.

"What?" Jaewon creases his brows, "the old man still got the final say, what would be the use!" he scoffs but Chanyeol only glares at him.

"The court also gets to affect the legal placement of custody, given that the chosen guardian isn't capable of providing whatever she needs." Chanyeol pauses, "I know I got the biggest chance."

"Well, not if the old man doesn't like you." Jaewon raises a brow, "after all, it's an authorized custody. If he really wants you, then the child could've been yours a long time ago. Clearly, he's considering other guardians. His wife likes you, right? But it seems like he doesn't." as much as Chanyeol wants to shrug this off, he has a point.

He falls silent for a moment.

"It's okay. As long as he hasn't decided yet, I can still change his mind." he says confidently, "I went against odds to have all of this." he looks around, "I can do it again when it comes to Eunhee." Jaewon grins before putting down the child to cross his arms on his chest.

"And if the other contenders do the same?" he asks Chanyeol. The producer pursed his lips.

"They be damned."

Through the years, Chanyeol was able to convince everyone that he's fine. Doing great, even. But the people who knew him from the very beginning just know better. Every now and then, they're making him feel like he never recovered. He understood that they just want him to be finally happy and seek the closure he needs, but Chanyeol doesn't want anything related to that anymore. He tried keeping up and dating girls, like he used to do, but nothing ever worked. Until he stopped trying and focused on whatever success leads him to. People think it's easy. That it should be easy for him. He's perfect so whatever happened almost four years ago should not be a big loss for him. _It was a quick thrilling love._ He can have it again, they said.

But through his songs, you can see it. Chanyeol lost a big part of him. And he's not sure if he'll ever find it again.

And that same night, that person walks in to his life like nothing happened. Like he wasn't wrecked by him and now he's here again. No one knew how Chanyeol tried so hard not to break down that moment. It was as if all the effort he did to rebuild himself through the years was put into waste when he was once again crushed into pieces. The moment he ran away after their eyes met made the big truth as clear as crystal to Chanyeol. He knew what he lost in those years.

He lost his muse.

x

Baekhyun wakes up in the same position. He shuts his eyes tight as he feels the rough sensation in his throat. He sits up because of the unconscious need of water.

He's still half asleep while he scratches his neck. Before he could shout for Jieun's name, an image flashes in his head, making him open his eyes. He looks around the unfamiliar room with a sweet scent lingering around him. He stands up, enduring the pain of his throbbing head. He tiptoes to carefully look inside the bathroom but no one is there.

Despite feeling like a complete tourist since he landed here, Baekhyun isn't stupid enough to not know where he is. He nervously curses himself thinking about what could've happened last night for him to end up in a damn motel. But his body only tells him that the worst thing that happened was nothing but being severely drunk and unconscious. His things are complete too.

"Room 46C was paid, Sir."

Baekhyun stares at the smiling woman at the front desk, his face looking dumb.

"Sorry?"

"It's already paid by the one with you last night." she says, and Baekhyun can tell she's implying something behind that smile. He gulps and looks away, he knows what exactly she is thinking but as much as he wants to clear it, he decided not to and just went out of the motel to go back to the bar where he left his car.

That was awful.

He bought hot choco to warm himself up before starting to drive back home where Jieun must be losing her mind.

"Mr Kang?" he clears his throat and tries to sound cheerful, "About last night... I'm sorry I wasn't able to drive you home." he hears a familiar high pitched voice from the old man's background.

"Are you okay, Baekhyun? I was quite worried last night...you looked pale..." the man answers from the other line.

"Oh, I ah..." Baekhyun stutters, "I just got a little dizzy. Can I go there today? I completely forgot about meeting her last—"

"You actually almost met her last night, Baekhyun-ah." Mr Kang interrupts that made him blink for a moment, "She was there!"

Baekhyun shakes his head, "what?"

"Chanye—oh I mean, Mr Park, was holding her. Don't you remember?" he chuckles lightly, unaware of the sudden silence.

Baekhyun was speechless.

  
  
Looking up at the tall building in front of him, Baekhyun continues to rehearse the words inside his head, mouthing them slightly. He bites his lower lip, thinking of ways on how he'll convince the court to grant him what he wants. _This is my only chance_. Baekhyun heavily exhales. _It's now or never._

"Baekhyun!" he was still deep in thoughts as he walks inside, hearing Jieun's words in his mind about what he should do. He makes sure every detail is clearly embarked in his head. "Baekhyun-ah!"

He looks straight to Mr Kang who's walking towards him, behind him is an old lady who walks in a much slower pace. Her eyes are directed at Baekhyun but she doesn't even smile. Baekhyun gulps because of this.

"You came just in time! We just got here too. But the others are already in the office. They're just waiting for us." the old man warmly smiles at him when he noticed how Baekhyun stiffened. He then looks behind him, "Oh! I almost forgot... this is my wife, Kang Yeonhee."

The lady is already in front of him, still wearing her straight face. Baekhyun doesn't know how to initiate a greeting.

"Yeonhee, this is Baekhyun. He's been providing some of Eunhee's needs ever since." Mr Kang says, a little proud. His wife shoots him another look.

"The toys and the books?" she asks, making Baekhyun gulp again.

"Yes, and some clothes too. He was my colleague from the previous company I worked at."

Mrs Kang still looks serious. Baekhyun doesn't know why he's suddenly intimidated by her.

"But you still haven't met her, is that right?" she seriously asks Baekhyun. He slowly nods his head.

"Yes..."

Her eyes are implying something, but Baekhyun doesn't know what exactly it is. What he's sure about is that, she doesn't seem to like him.

"Let's go? So we can already start." Mr Kang leads the way and Baekhyun follows, his eyes still on the floor. He could feel the old woman's lingering stare on him before finally walking along.

Baekhyun doesn't understand. Why is she like that? He didn't even show any sign of rudeness, but the woman still scrutinized him with her stare. He was confident about this ever since. He will get the child because he's capable of giving her a good life, he already began proving that. He's capable to love her with all his heart because she will be the only one he has if that happens. But right now? His confidence is lost. He's not even sure if Eunhee's grandmother will give her blessing to him.

"Baekhyun," Mr Kang calls him in the middle of silence inside the elevator. Baekhyun is currently worrying about possibilities as he looks at him. The old man's lips are curved into a knowing smile, "I didn't know you and my boss knew each other." he says that made Baekhyun lose his words. He noticed how Mrs Kang turned to him too because of this.

"B-Boss?" Baekhyun asks, as if he doesn't know.

"Yes. The one I was talking to last night." Baekhyun's heart is beating like crazy, yet he anticipates what the other has to say about it, "he may have recognized you when he saw you."

Baekhyun blinks a few times, trying to keep himself composed.

"Really? W-What did he say?" he cussed himself for stuttering.

Mr Kang looks at him. His stomach clenched.

"He told me you were friends, years ago." he answers casually, looking up to check the floor before chuckling once more, "small world, isn't it?" Baekhyun forces a smile.

Of course, he was an old friend.

Baekhyun collects himself to gather his presence of mind for the nth time this day. If he wants this to turn out well, then he has to stop his thoughts from flying away to something unimportant.

"It's too bad you lost connection..." Mr Kang adds, making Baekhyun keep his forced smile. As if he's pretending to think how unfortunate it was too. As if.

"I hope you can talk inside after the meeting. After all, it's been a long time..."

Baekhyun couldn't help his eyes from widening. It feels like the first time of seeing him again, only this time, he's almost impossible to escape.

"W-Wait... Why is—is h-he—" his voice trembles but it was cut off by the loud sound of the elevator, indicating that they've reached the right floor and making the others pay him no attention. They start walking out, "W-Wait..."

His legs are frozen on the spot, slowly walking behind the old couple as they drew closer to the double doors. Baekhyun can almost hear his heartbeat in his ear. His hands are cold.

Why is he there? Why is Chanyeol here again? Why do they need to see each other?

"Mr Kang! W-wait..." Baekhyun calls for the man a few feet away from him. Mr Kang turns to look at him, brows raised while waiting for his question. But no voice went out of Baekhyun's lips. He couldn't talk.

"Baekhyun?" Mr Kang calls him, his gaze filled with concern. He's about to walk back to Baekhyun's spot but a woman in white polo shirt opens the door and smiles at them, "Mr Kang? The clerk is here."

The child's grandfather goes back to walking towards the door. The truth slaps Baekhyun's face, hard enough for him to realize. He's going to see him again. And he doesn't know what to do.

"Come on, Baekhyun. They're waiting." his smile is encouraging but Baekhyun only feels worse. He follows him with his trembling feet. He lets out a deep and heavy breath as if it'll be the last one he makes. With his cold hand, he turns the knob and pushes the door.

There are only few people inside, to his surprise. The court clerk stands up from her seat to reach her hand out for him. Baekhyun keeps his gaze towards her, and from the side of his eye, he knows that a pair of eyes is observing his every move.

And it always makes him feel weak.

But then again, he's Byun Baekhyun. And weakness is something you won't see on his surface. He keeps his chin up and posture proud, as if he's there for what he should be.

"Hello, Mr Byun. I'm glad to finally meet you. There's little Eunhee right there, in case you haven't met her." the clerk smiles while pointing to the little kid on her grandmother's lap, looking at them innocently with her doe eyes. Baekhyun's heart flutters as he smiles at her genuinely.

Baekhyun is close to forgetting all the questions he had but the clerk speaks again.

"And oh, Mr Byun. We also have Mr Park. Park Chanyeol, the executive producer of Phoenix Entertainment."

Baekhyun has no escape anymore. He doesn't understand why he's here in the first place, moreover why they need to be introduced.

_Look at him. _He says in his mind. _It's been years, you fool. Don't let him see you being affected._

Baekhyun finally looks straight to his face. And he wants to jump out of the damn window. _Why does he have to look this good? How can you be so successful and look THIS good at the same time? Is it even allowed?_

_God, Baekhyun._

Chanyeol looks at him with a formal smile curved on his lips. Baekhyun is taken aback for a while. Chanyeol is casually smiling at him, almost convincing him that he forgot about everything. But Baekhyun soon noticed his eyes.

Cold, unreadable.

He looks at the hand in front of him, reaching out for his own. As if strangers freshly meeting each other.

He reaches out and lets their hands touch. Chanyeol's hand is opposite to his cold and slender one. His hand has its familiar warmth around Baekhyun's that made the latter take his hand back to his side.

"You're both Eunhee's potential authorized guardians."

Baekhyun's eyes widen once more.

"Wait, what?" Baekhyun can't help blurting out. Everyone looks at him for this. "I-I thought there are more couples that... that applied for the petition?" he asks, feeling lost. He doesn't understand. If Chanyeol is married then why does he still need to adopt or apply for Eunhee's custody? _Can't they just make their own and let me have her?!_ Even inside his mind, Baekhyun tries to conceal his bitterness.

He dismisses Chanyeol's intimidating stare.

"Apparently, Mr and Mrs Kang already chose their preferred guardian. But since they didn't agree on the same person, the court dismissed the others' appeal to have their final option. And that's the both of you. But since you're both unmarried, we need to undergo another set of procedures to choose between the two of you, who'll be her official guardian."

Baekhyun's mouth flew open because of the revelations. He tries to get his shit together.

"I thought I was the only u-unmarried person that applied..." he asks with a low voice, he noticed how Chanyeol tilted his head to his side because of this.

"Oh, Mr Park applied for the petition four months ago. So we probably told you that prior." she explains. Baekhyun still couldn't process everything.

No way he's gonna go against Chanyeol for Eunhee's custody! He wasn't running away for his whole life just to turn around and go back again. Back to the same shit.

And he isn't married?! That's even more impossible!

"But..." Baekhyun mumbles again, "but I—why is he—"

"Is there a problem?" a deep voice asks to cut him off, and Baekhyun doesn't need to ask, "Surely you're not the only one who has the right to apply for Eunhee's custody, right?"

He watches how Chanyeol's lips curved into a cocky smile. Baekhyun raises a brow before smiling back.

"Of course." he says, pursing his lips into a thin line, "I just expected a lot more...you know, someone who's also capable of becoming a parent." he answers straightly. Chanyeol raises his brows, looking amused.

"And you think between us, you're the capable one?" he asks in disbelief, Baekhyun could feel his irritation flowing in his veins, "Really?"

"At least more than you, yes."

"Oops! Okay, that's enough..." the clerk laughs nervously, trying to break the tension between them, "We will be scheduling some meetings with another legal counselor. We also require you to have a schedule in a week to spend with the child, someone will be observing you. Weeks from now, we will schedule the final hearing with the court judge." she explains with the same enthusiasm, "I'm sure it will be a hard decision though, seems like both of you will make a very good guardian to Eunhee." she smiles, but Baekhyun is still preoccupied until the same deep voice speaks again.

"But certainly, you'll choose the one who gets along with the child the most right?" the producer asks that made Baekhyun look at him, his eyes moved from the clerk to Baekhyun as his lips curved into a mocking grin. Baekhyun tries to keep himself composed.

_Certainly, success changed him._ Baekhyun thinks as he grits his teeth. _Maybe his money got his head up in his ass._

The clerk is also taken aback by this, but she nods. "Well...yes. Sometimes the judge prefers the one who the child already sees as a parent figure." Baekhyun suddenly gets bothered by this, but he doesn't let it show. This is clearly what Chanyeol wants to happen.

"That won't be very hard, then." Chanyeol gives a smile to Eunhee, who jumps on her seat and lets out a small giggle because of this.

"But it's usually the one who applied for the petition first, right?" Baekhyun rebutts, not willing to lose, "I mean...I've been looking forward for this grant since last year. I think I was even the first." the clerk nods again.

"Yes, and―"

"You think they'll consider that? Given that the child doesn't even know you?" Chanyeol asks, cutting off the clerk's sentence. The sarcasm in his voice is dripping like an acid.

"That won't be a problem when I start spending time with her." Baekhyun answers with an equal coldness, "And I have always been watching over her even from afar. I provided―"

"What? Material things? You think that's what's important?" Chanyeol interrupts again and Baekhyun's chest starts heaving, "Just because you provided those, doesn't mean you'll be a good parent. She needs someone who's always there."

"And who are you to question that?" Baekhyun snaps, "I may not have been physically present but I never missed out any of her needs. Even if I wasn't here, I made sure Eunhee gets what she needs."

"News flash Mr Byun, you aren't applying for an overseas custody. What the child needs is a parent who'll look after her and be with her at the same time." Chanyeol leans on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes bore on Baekhyun, who's obviously losing his temper, "what kind of parent will leave his child alone?"

"You're good at assuming things, aren't you Mr Park?" Baekhyun hisses, addressing the other formally like how he started it, "technically, if I get her custody, then I'll take her wherever I go. Everyone can figure that out." he smiles despite his jaw hardening.

His irritation even worsens when the other sarcastically chuckled.

"And what? Bring her to a foreign country where she will feel isolated? Bring her to your uptight business meetings and make her play in your busy company building? That's your ideal parenting?"

Baekhyun badly wants to curse but he's reminded where he is. His hands tightened into fists, feeling the strong urge to punch the man in front of him who's oozing with arrogance.

"Really? What's your ideal parenting then, Mr Park? Bring her to your fancy music company everyday and make her listen to diss tracks? That's your ideal parenting?"

Chanyeol clenches his jaw. He sits up straight and licks his lip. Baekhyun shows no signs of intimidation, not even blinking.

"Don't you think you're a little unworthy to lecture me about ideal parenting, Mr Park?"

"I love the child."

Baekhyun is stunned with the answer he got. But this only got his blood boiling even more.

"And by that you mean what? That I don't love her because I wasn't here with her?" his voice starts raising. And when Chanyeol only stares at him, he knew his patience was tested, "Is that how shallow your logic is?"

"Please, Mr Byun, Mr Park. We don't wanna do this in front of the child, do we?" the clerk interrupts when the heated argument didn't seem to end. Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol turn to Eunhee, who's innocently watching them while chewing the fabric of her teddy bear. They both gulp when they realize what they did, shooting another glare to each other before going back to the main agenda.

"Phew...haven't had anything that intense before, have we?" she whispers to her assistant, "Gentlemen, may I remind you that we're here because we're yet to prove your capabilities. Both of you deserves it but the judge will decide in the end so let's just follow the due process. Anyway, that's it for today, I'll have my assistant contact you for the next session." she smiles, but obviously got fed up with them too. The moment they stood up, Chanyeol immediately goes to the child, not even sparing him a glance.

Baekhyun watches them with his heaving chest, cursing Park Chanyeol in his mind. He didn't even notice Mr Kang walking towards him.

"That was unnecessary, Baekhyun." the old man whispers beside him. Baekhyun's expression softens, he realized how bad he appeared to them.

"I'm sorry...I just couldn't help it."

"If you're worried then don't be. I chose you because I've always known you're a good person. Don't let distance make you feel any less compared to Mr Park." Baekhyun smiles and nods because of this.

"I'm just sad because I thought you will at least catch up with each other in a nice way," he says, puzzled. "after all, he told me you were friends."

He wants to laugh, but he's obviously dominated by irritation. His eyes never left Chanyeol who's laughing with Eunhee and her grandmother from a distance.

"He was lying. We were never friends." he pursed his lips.

And as if on cue, Chanyeol turns his head to make their eyes meet, Baekhyun dismissed the rummaging thing inside his chest with the sudden eye contact. Chanyeol looks at him with his unreadable eyes. Baekhyun looks away.

An important call from the US came so he excused himself for a while to manage some things over the phone, giving orders to the trusted staffs he left there. When he came back, the couple with their little granddaughter is ready to leave. He immediately went to them to say goodbye.

"We're heading home now! The city office is kind enough to provide us a service car." Mr Kang bids him goodbye. He smiles at Mrs Kang who only smiles in return too. Baekhyun kneels down to level his head to Eunhee's.

"Hello, Eunhee..." he pats her head and smiles sweetly, the child doesn't respond. She only stares at his face, obviously unfamiliar with him. "We'll play next time okay? Be a good girl." he kisses her head while the child only looks at him. He watches them walk outside until they fade from his sight.

He decides to go back to the room where he left his things. The moment he almost steps in, Chanyeol steps out from the inside. They're both stunned with the small space between them, their gazes unintentionally meeting one another's.

Baekhyun tries to walk to the right, but Chanyeol did the same. He moves to the opposite but it happens again. He looks up to Chanyeol's face, almost ready to snap at him but he stops himself. Chanyeol only looks at him with his straight face before walking to his right, their shoulders brushed. Baekhyun breathes heavily.

"Next time, if you got a problem with me, then say it directly to my face." Baekhyun speaks without turning around. He knows that Chanyeol stopped walking based from his shadow on the marble floor.

"Problem? Why would I have a problem with you?" he turns around, seeing Chanyeol stepping a little closer to where he is with his forehead creased, "Wait, why would I even care about you?" he raises a brow as if he's amused.

"Exactly what I'm thinking." Baekhyun narrows his eyes, "Why would you care about me when I don't even give shit about you, right?" he sees a glint of anger in Chanyeol's eyes but it soon goes back to being cold.

"I was just trying to prove a point. It's not my fault you're easily offended."

"Point? And what point is that? That you're a better option just because of the sole reason you're here with her? That's your point?"

Chanyeol shakes his head as he chuckles, "I don't expect you to understand."

"Why don't you say it? You're irrational and unreasonable." Baekhyun gulps when Chanyeol steps closer to him.

"Since you want to hear it so much, fine here's my point..." Baekhyun stiffens while standing inches away from him. But he tries to look tough.

"I don't want Eunhee to have a parent who runs away because of fear."

Baekhyun almost went deaf because of this. The noise from his surrounding was suddenly inaudible as Chanyeol's voice echoes in his mind. Something in his chest is twisting for an unknown reason. Especially when the producer takes a step closer for his emphasis.

"I don't want her to have a parent who easily changes his heart and mind. I don't want her to have an indecisive, liar and selfish parent." the way the words came out from Chanyeol's lips are like daggers thrown to him.

Chanyeol stands straight from leaning. He smiles but his eyes are like fire raging.

"That is my point. I don't want Eunhee to be left and abandoned." he said before leaving.


	29. 28-Crushed

"Do you like this?"

His eyes crinkle as he picks up a rubber duck on the mat, "how about this?"

Eunhee only nods. Her eyes are still focused on the leggo figures on her hand, dismissing Baekhyun's presence. He sighs because of the slight pain on his waist and butt from hours of sitting on the floor. The kid hasn't shown any signs of breaking the barriers between them.

He remains seated in silence beside the child, watching her intently while she tries to stick the leggo with each other and failing because of her tiny hands. Baekhyun smiles and holds the toy to help her.

"Here, let me do it..."

"Eeeeeeeh!"

He immediately hands the toy back when she groans angrily. She goes back to being focused on the toy, ignoring Baekhyun once again.

Baekhyun weakly leans on the edge of the wooden chair behind him. He lets out an exhausted sigh filled with frustration. Slow footsteps are coming from the kitchen, making him instantly sit up straight, concealing his tired expression.

Mrs Kang walks over them with a glass of juice on her hand. Her eyes are seriously looking at Baekhyun, as if observing how far his progress is with the child. She hands the glass of drink to Baekhyun who was also thirsty, the set up seemed to dehydrate him. When she sees her granddaughter having her own world, she glances back to Baekhyun.

"Has she tried playing with you yet?"

Baekhyun bites his lip, not knowing how to answer.

"Uhm, well..."

"She doesn't seem to like you..." she gently says, remaining serious. Baekhyun is honestly offended by this, but he tries to understand. People of her age usually tend to be this straightforward. Even Baekhyun, who's not even old yet can say things this direct, then what more her?

"It's okay, Ma'am. It's just our second day after all. I know she'll grow fond of me." he smiles, catching a glance of disapproval from the old lady's face. He dismisses it. She may think he's arrogant and confident to say this early, but he doesn't want her to see him backing down either.

Mrs Kang sighs.

"Just be patient with her, okay?" she asks, unable to hide her concern too. Baekhyun smiles wider for this. She walks back to the back of the house to continue the chores, leaving Baekhyun with Eunhee again.

Baekhyun quietly watches her for another hour, asking her questions in which the child only nods or shakes her head. She doesn't even bother looking at Baekhyun's face.

"Do you want me to help?" he mumbles when Eunhee starts doing things on her own again, failing consistently, "baby, you don't do it like that..." he tries to hold her.

"No! No, no!!!" he backs away as she expressed her irritation again. _This kid. _Baekhyun lets out a heavy breath before leaning his chin on his hand, going back to watching her. Eunhee remained serious on what she's doing, Baekhyun only lets her this time. She doesn't seem to like it when anyone tries to tell her what to do. She likes doing things her way. Baekhyun smiled with this, slightly reminded by himself.

Baekhyun lazily leans back on the chair with his thoughts wandering. He reaches out for the mechanical sharpener on the side table and gets the box of colored pencil to distract himself. He sits with his legs folded closed to his chest as he starts sharpening them one by one, he began twisting the handle making faint squeaking sound. Baekhyun doesn't even know why he's getting satisfied with the sight of pencil shavings slowly filling the plastic container.

He stops when he feels the need to glance at the child beside him. He slowly looks at the kid who's watching him in awe.

Eunhee looks up to his eyes when he stopped, not even embarassed when she was caught watching. Her mouth is slightly opened as she grew curious of the thing. Baekhyun grins when he finally got her attention.

"You want?"

The kid nods without question. Baekhyun shifts closer to her with the sharpener on his hand, teaching her what to do. The child nods even if he's not entirely sure she understood. When she tries doing it on her own, Baekhyun can feel her interest on the thing. She looks up to him every now and then, as if asking if she's doing it right. Baekhyun smiles. _That's it. You just got to stay patient, that's all._

"Wait, the box is full. I'll just throw this so you could have more space...okay?" he asks, weighing her mood if she'll defy again, but she nods. Baekhyun's smile is wide up until he reaches the door of the house where the trash bin is. Though his smile soon fades off as soon as he throws them, right when he sees a gray G65 Benz, currently parking outside the gate. His insides churned. He's not sure if his hunch about who this might be is right but when the person hops off from the driver seat, his narrow and observing eyes relax into an irritated face.

Chanyeol doesn't even bother taking his eyes off him as he walks closer, his phone and keys are both on his hand. The other one is inside the pocket of his dark blue hoodie. Baekhyun doesn't even know why he's still standing there like an idiot. He clears his throat, yet remains on his post. He can't help but notice how Chanyeol's brows are slightly crossed because of the sunlight.

Baekhyun gulps when he recalls the last conversation they had. It isn't really hard to figure out that even if that was almost a week ago, he still thinks about it consistently until last night.

When Chanyeol is a meter away from him, he unconsciously crosses his arms.

"What are you doing here?"

Chanyeol raises a brow, as if his question is overly ridiculous.

"Visiting Eunhee." he answers shortly, though he remains standing there too. Baekhyun is unconvinced, "and for my schedule." he says in a matter of fact, Baekhyun lets out a heavy breath.

"I still have an hour!"

Chanyeol remains apathetic. Baekhyun feels like he's being pushed to his limits when the taller only shrugged.

"Then I'll let you play with her while I wait. I'll get her once it's my time."

Baekhyun cusses under his breath as he grits his teeth.

"Are you kidding me? You'll distract her! What's so hard about going here when it's already your time and not mine?" Baekhyun complains, almost certain that the child will not spare him a glance anymore now that Chanyeol is here. Just in time when he finally got her attention!

Chanyeol only squints his eyes on him.

"She doesn't like you, does she?" his deep chuckle made Baekhyun tighten his fists, "don't you think it's a sign?"

"You fu—"

"Mr Byun? Who are you talking to..." Mrs Kang steps outside and smiles broadly when she sees who is it, "Oh it's Chanyeol! I prepared something to eat, what a great timing! Eunhee surely missed you!" she exclaims as she pulls Chanyeol inside. Baekhyun doesn't miss the taunting glance from Chanyeol before going in. He breathes heavily before following, throwing daggers from his eyes to the producer's broad back.

"Eunheeyaaaa!" Chanyeol's deep voice echoed within the walls of the house. And just as he expected, the child is already jumping to her feet. Her hands are up in the air, waiting for Chanyeol to scoop her up with his arms. Baekhyun feels a pang in his chest, he needed to turn around.

Baekhyun wasn't guilty for thinking that Eunhee was indeed Chanyeol's daughter before. In fact, he was even more surprised when he knew that she's not. The two just fit perfectly together. Even if it scares him, he couldn't deny the fact that the child already sees the producer as her father figure.

_What more if it's his own child?_ Baekhyun asks himself. How much will he treat the child if it's his own? He expected to see this when he came back— Chanyeol happily married with a beautiful woman and toddlers that look exactly like him running around his office. But why is he here right now? It's been years. Baekhyun distanced himself for years and he came back to see Chanyeol being after the only thing he wants too.

In that moment, Baekhyun wished for Chanyeol to give this to him this time. Eunhee might be the one to finally save him from this miserable life. Call him selfish, but he wants Eunhee for himself.

He breathes deeply for a few more times before walking towards the old lady who's happily watching her granddaughter with her preferred parent.

"Mrs Kang...I'm going now. Thank you for having me." he faintly says. He doesn't even know why he felt the need to whisper.

Mrs Kang is obviously taken aback by this, subtly glancing at the wall clock before answering.

"I prepared a snack, Mr Byun. And you still have time..." she says. Chanyeol looks at them, his forehead slightly creased.

Baekhyun smiles reassuringly.

"It's fine. I'm not really hungry...and I have somewhere I need to be. I'll come back next time." he lies because he'll probably just head home and sulk. Mrs Kang's gaze suddenly changed yet she nods.

"Okay..."

Baekhyun turns to where Eunhee is, trying the hardest he can to dismiss Chanyeol's observing stare. He looks only at the child and kneels when he's in front of her.

"You're leaving?" he hears the man beside him asked, but Baekhyun ignores it. "You're not gonna use the remaining time? I can wait for you to finish."

_Wow, this bastard think it'll help?_ He closes his eyes tightly, before turning to face Chanyeol. But he doesn't continue snapping back at him when he sees the other's serious face. He gulps before facing Eunhee again, telling himself that this isn't the right time and place to start an argument.

"Eunhee... I'll go now." he touches her face and places a soft kiss on her head while returning the plastic container in the sharpener the child is still playing with. Surprisingly, Eunhee looks up to his face, but her round eyes are still knowing. Baekhyun smiles at her.

If it'll take time, he's willing to wait.

"Be a good girl, hmm? Wash your hands after using this..." he gently says as if the child could understand. He kisses her again, "Love you..."

He stands up and watches her until she goes back to playing with her sharpener. Baekhyun accidentally glances back to Chanyeol, and his heart almost jerked when he met his eyes, seriously watching his move. His smile fades and Chanyeol looks away.

"Thank you, Mrs Kang." he says shortly before leaving, trying so hard not to break his fake smile and reveal his gritted teeth.  
  


"Baekhyun," his friend tries to get his attention by grabbing the glass in front of him, "if you are not gonna drink this and you continue sulking there then go home. I'll finish this for you!"

Baekhyun only clicks his tongue, pulls the glass and takes a sip, before going back to glaring at the floor.

"Oh my God!" Heechul fans himself in frustration after watching Jieun's fails attempt, "With all due respect. I know you warned us before that we're not gonna talk about anything related to Chanyeol but since you're bitching about him right now then let's get into it!" he hisses.

"Why did you leave Eunhee if your time isn't done yet? You should've just stayed there instead of making us watch you pulling a damn tantrum!"

"Because he went there earlier!" Baekhyun exclaims, voice filled with annoyance. "We made it clear that he goes there thirty minutes after my turn! I don't even know why we were scheduled in the same day! He should've gotten a different day in a week!"

Baekhyun doesn't even need to look at his friends to know that they're shaking their head in amusement.

"Baekhyun. You should've just ignored him. You went there for Eunhee."

"I can't do that when the child is obviously attached to him! She won't even spare me a glance when that asshole is there so what's the point!?"

"Is it really the reason? Or you just can't manage to stay wherever he is? Baek, I thought we're unaffected here?" Heechul taunts.

Baekhyun glares at him, but Heechul knows better.

"My point here, is that he's obviously doing this intentionally! I don't freaking care about how he gets the child's trust but my time should be mine alone! He's unfair! He's playing dirty on this just because he knows he has an advantage!"

Both of his friends share a quick meaningful glance he doesn't even bother asking about. He's almost pushed to his limits and now his friends aren't helping either.

Baekhyun suddenly thinks about Sehun. But he knows he'll say the same.

No one ever understands him. He's worn out. He went back to Korea to work on Eunhee's custody but instead he's greeted by his ex who happens to be applying for the same petition. How fucked is that?

If it was the old Baekhyun, he would've ran away. But it just doesn't work like that anymore. The moment he got into this decision, he knew that for Eunhee, he'll take a risk.

He's grown. He's an adult who doesn't have time to deal with petty dramas from the past. He has bigger shit to deal with, and that doesn't include ex encounters.

At least, that's what _he said._

"You don't understand..." he mumbles in the middle of silence, he looks defeated, "I've wanted this child the moment I laid eyes on her. I was the first one to see how she doesn't deserve to grow up alone, without...a parent." he pauses. He can feel his friends watching him. "And yes, I know everybody thinks I'm unworthy of becoming a parent...based on the person I was before." he gulps before continuing.

Jieun's brows crease.

"Baekhyun, we're not thinking that way."

"No, it's okay... I understand." he tries to smile as sincere as he can, "Even I...didn't think about doing this before. But things change. And for people like me..."

He sees how they look at him intently, listening to what he's about to say, especially Heechul.

"It's hard to hit the jackpot and secure myself from that loneliness in the damn future. You know...if I don't die sooner." he jokes but soon stops laughing when they frown at him, "I just want to have someone to love, okay? I want to have someone to devote myself with. I'm not gonna be young and wild forever. I know you know that."

Baekhyun knows he made his point clear when the both of them turned silent, as if processing everything that he said. Despite the number of years of being best friends, they can tell that this is absolutely one of the rare moments where Baekhyun didn't find it hard to open up about his feelings and thoughts.

It actually made them happy, somehow.

"And if I need to be selfish, then I will! I don't have time for that guy's dirty tactics!" he says, shifting back to his irritated mood, "I thought he's mad at me? Then he should make sure he doesn't see my face at all, like what I'm doing!" he exclaims.

"Baekhyun, you're being such a drama queen." Heechul rolls his eyes. Jieun only stares at Baekhyun, also amused, "Maybe he's just excited to see the kid. Why don't you talk to him properly? Tell him to come at his scheduled time. Gosh, the moment you see him, you're immediately starting a fight that's why."

"You think I haven't done that!?"

"See? That's what I'm talking about. You're easily pissed when it's about him!"

"Urgh!!!"

Baekhyun harshly leans on the couch, crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the table.

"Baekieee, just be patient! The court will decide a few weeks from now and after that? You won't see him again, whether you get the child or not." Jieun gives him a comforting smile. But Baekhyun remains frowning. He even feels more pissed with what she said, though he's not sure which part of it.

Heechul nonchalantly drinks another shot as he speaks.

"Well if you think about it, maybe Chanyeol's trying to solve all your problems here."

Jieun and Baekhyun question him with their gazes, unable to understand anything.

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun dumbly asks.

Heechul shrugs.

"You know, 1 + 1."

"Huh???"

Heechul sighs before slowly shaking his head.  
  


"What do you mean you're both going?!" he tries to pull their arms down, "It's only eleven!"

"You said it yourself, Baekhyun. Adulting! We're adulting now and if you don't mind I have an early shift tomorrow." Heechul tipsily stands up, waiting for his friend to let go of his arm.

"When have you become so boring?" Baekhyun can't help pouting, "If Heechul and Jieun from 3 years ago hear this from their future selves, I bet they'll commit suicide!"

"Oh shut the fuck up," Heechul hisses at him, "Hate to burst your bubble but unlike you, we aren't company presidents or CEO. We're employees. We have to work, now get off!"

Baekhyun turns to Jieun and tries his best puppy face.

"Sorry, Baek." Jieun timidly smiles, "But Junki's kinda waiting..."

"What?!" Baekhyun stomps a foot, "You're ditching me for that!"

"We are happy and fulfilled individuals so we don't hangout with lonely losers. Bye!" Heechul says before completely pullng Jieun away.

"You should never take hookups seriously Jieun! It never works out!" Baekhyun shouts at his friend who's walking farther, "Haven't you learned from me!"

He sighs when they completely left and he's now all alone on his seat. The people around him are busy with their own companies. _Lonely loser, yeah right._

Baekhyun continues to drink by himself. The night is still young and he'd rather stay here than follow Jieun in her place where she might be doing things with her boyfriend. _Just no. _He still can't believe how exaggerated they were when they blamed him for missing the wild night life in Korea and now that he's here, they're acting like responsible individuals.

Baekhyun appreciated the time being alone, though. That was one of the few things that changed in him. Before, he couldn't manage being alone because of depressing thoughts coming in but now, he appreciates his time being by himself.

"Hello."

Baekhyun looks up to see the face of the person who approached him, he had to narrow his eyes because of the dimmed lights of the bistro. He could barely see his face from the darkness but he can tell that he's smiling. Baekhyun awkwardly smiles back but stays on his seat, he's a bit dizzy now so he wouldn't dare standing up.

"Are you alone?" the man looks around as if looking for the answer but Baekhyun reluctantly nods, "Mind if I sit here? The place is kinda full now." he walks to the couch beside Baekhyun but stares at him first, as if asking for approval. Baekhyun had no choice but to nod since he's already beside him.

"I'm Jinyoung by the way." he reached out his palm, smiling big, "You are?"

Baekhyun purses his lips as he looks at his palm. Is he really talking to a stranger right now?

_He seems nice though,_ Baekhyun thinks, _and he's approaching me nicely._

"Baekhyun." he smiles timidly. The guy leans closer that made him stiff, he stares at Baekhyun intently.

"I knew it! I know you!" he grins, "You're a regular customer here are you?"

Baekhyun slowly nods, "I was."

"I've been seeing you before." the guy sheepishly responds, "I've always wanted to approach you, but I was...shy."

Baekhyun raises his brows because of this. Seriously? He doesn't seem to be the shy type of guy based from his oozing confidence right now.

"Really?" Baekhyun asks in amusement, "When was it?"

The guy smiles wider, looking up as if thinking. "I think it was a year ago, in this exact same bistro."

Baekhyun chuckles, "I was in the states that time."

The other raises both his brows, "Oh! right. I don't really remember exactly when. Maybe a few years back?" he laughs casually, "Anyways, I was so intimidated by you so I didn't come to say hi!"

"Why?" Baekhyun chuckles, "You should've approached me. We could've talked."

"It doesn't matter. Look! I found you again." he smiles and Baekhyun doesn't know how to respond. Why does it feel so odd? The sudden confession and all?

One moment and he's suddenly hitting on him?

Baekhyun awkwardly smiles back, "I don't understand..." he shakes his head slowly, "I mean...why me?"

The guy shrugs, still staring at him.

"I don't know." his boyish grin turns to a timid smile, "Maybe some things don't change... You still fascinate me after all."

Baekhyun falls silent. He stares back at him, trying to weigh what he just said. He finds himself getting drowned by the stranger's eyes.

_Some things don't change. _Maybe he's right.

Because every fucking thing still reminds him of Chanyeol, that's why.

"Hey." Baekhyun only realizes he's been spacing out when the man taps his arm. He looks back at him, finding the same captivating smile again. "I know I may be freaking you out...but can I buy you a coffee down town? I just..." he sheepishly smiles as Baekhyun stares at him.

"I just don't find this place quiet enough to get to know you." he laughs shyly and Baekhyun blinks in awe, "I mean...will you let me?" he looks directly at his eyes again, making Baekhyun nod mindlessly.

He only realizes what he did when they're already walking out of the bistro. Baekhyun's vision is mildly spinning, given that he drank a lot for the past hour. But he chooses to go with the flow. Since they're heading to grab a coffee, it may at least help him become fully sober.

Baekhyun notices the way they were taking, he slowly walks behind Jinyoung as he looks at the dark alley.

"Are we really taking this way?" Baekhyun becomes bewildered, he looks at the complete stranger he stupidly trusted. "Can we walk the other way instead? It's too dark here..."

Jinyoung turns to him, his face casual with his brows raised.

"It's the shortcut, Baekhyun. Don't worry."

Baekhyun starts to panic silently when they reach the middle of the alley. He starts panting heavily and his dizziness isn't even helping at all. He holds onto the dusty walls as he walks, cussing as to why he was naive to trust someone he doesn't even know!

"Uhm...I-I think, I'll just go back." he wasn't able to prevent himself from stuttering. He walks backwardly when the guy turns to him again, walking closer.

"Where are you going, Baekhyun?" his curious tone sounds so wicked to Baekhyun, he starts walking fast but the man blocks his way with his sly smile. "Where are you going?" he calmly asks but pins the smaller onto the bricked wall. His rough hands grip his neck like a rope.

"I'm gonna go back! Please! Let me go back!" Baekhyun struggles to scream with the tight hand around his neck. He breathes heavily as his eyes start watering.

"But we're gonna grab some coffee, aren't we? You want a romantic talk right?" the stranger breathes on his cheeks, "Or do you want to go straight to the business, hmm? There's a motel down there."

"F-Fucking psycho! Get the fuck off me! Help!" he screams and struggles to get away. He tries to kick the man's leg but when he feels a sharp metal on the side of his rib, he freezes on his spot.

_He's gonna fucking kill me._

"That's right, move so you'll get this buried in your flesh, yeah?" the friendly guy he was introduced to before is completely gone as he looks at the stranger who now looks like a complete psycho. His knife is traveling onto Baekhyun's smooth face, "Brokenhearted idiots are always the easiest victims. You want me to just rip your heart out so you won't feel the pain anymore, hun?" he mocks and laughs like a maniac. Baekhyun glares at him but tears form on the corner of his eyes.

"P-Please..."

"Aw don't cry..." he caresses Baekhyun's face using the knife's surface. Baekhyun shuts his eyes close as he sobs, he's trembling in fear, "Just give me what I want and we're good."

"Take e-everything you want...just please, please don't h-hurt me." he cries. He's helpless. Even if he screams, no one's gonna hear him. He doesn't want to die yet. Certainly not this way.

The man licks his lip as he gazes down to his bum.

"You won't get hurt. You'll like it." Baekhyun bites his lip as he shakes his head. He knows what he'll do. And if so, then he'd rather die.

Before he could even feel anything, he jumps in surprise when the maniac was pulled away from him. A chain was wrapped around the man's neck to pull him back that made him shriek in pain. He falls on the hard floor, screaming as the chain tightly wraps around his neck. Baekhyun sits on the floor as his knees tremble in fear. He pants heavily to catch all the air back, his blurred vision looks at a bunch of big men in front of him, wearing dark hoodies and mercilessly beating up the psycho on the floor.

"S-Stop..." Baekhyun weakly pleads as he covers his ears. The man's screams are agonizing for him to hear. He knows they're hurting him so much.

"What, kid? Huh? You're still a shameless shit to do your old habits. You really wanna die, don't you?" Baekhyun knows from one of the man's voice that he's a lot older than him. They all seem to be older than him. Baekhyun wipes his eyes to see them clearly. The psycho harrassing him a while ago is now unresponsive on the cemented floor, face filled with blood. Baekhyun trembles with the sight.

"Take him away from here and teach him a lesson." a deep and grim voice says behind these men. He's wearing the same black hoodie that covers his face, but not his identity.

"Should we kill him, Phoenix?" one of them casually asks, Baekhyun's eyes widen.

"If you need to, then do it." the man says with his arms crossed over his chest.

"N-No! You can just take him to the police―!"

"Do what I fucking told you." his appeal is drowned by Chanyeol's angry and hard tone, "Now."

The men do not waste time after his order. They drag the beaten man away without sparing Baekhyun a single glance as if it's an order as well.

When they're gone, they're enveloped by an agonizing silence. He can feel a pair of cold eyes watching him but he's too busy thinking about the things that he just witnessed. He feels a hand grabbing his wrist, pulling him out of that dark alley.

"I can walk." Baekhyun mumbles as they continue to walk with him being pulled, "Don't drag me! I can walk!"

"And what? Do you want to stay here? Pull your shit together in this place?" Chanyeol's cold voice echoes in the secluded alley, "What the fuck were you even thinking, Baekhyun? You barely even know the man and you let him drag you in a dark alley! In a dark fucking alley, Baekhyun!" he madly shouts. Baekhyun looks at him, preventing himself to break down.

"I know it was stupid! I'm sorry, okay?! It's not my fault that he manipulated me with his words! He didn't look like someone who's capable―"

"Seriously! Did you think someone will try to fool you without looking convincing?! Of course that's their goal! To fool you! I don't know why you were fooled that easy! Is that how fucking naive you are? That you'll go with someone because you're tricked by the offer?! Wait, what did he offer you? Huh? What is it that you can't seem to decline?!" Baekhyun bites his lip as the words pierce him right into his heart. He looks at Chanyeol who's panting heavily, his eyes still in rage.

"I know that you saved me, and I'll thank you for that. But that doesn't give you any right to school me about things! I didn't ask for you to come here and waste your time on me, in the first place!"

Chanyeol puts his fist on his lips, gritting his teeth.

"Let me guess, you can do it on your own? That's what you'll tell me again?!" he combs his hair with his hand in frustration as faces him again, "I arrived there and saw you helpless and crying in fear! You needed help! Why don't you just accept that you can't do things on your own all the time, Baekhyun! You can't fucking do it all on your own all the time! You're not completely independent, accept that for fuck's sake!"

Baekhyun gulps, his jaw hardens, "I am...I'm independent."

"You're not. You pretend to be but you're not!" Chanyeol directly snarls at him, "You're pretentious, Baekhyun. Acting like you're strong and mighty for everything but you're not. You fucking suck at being independent, that's the truth!" Chanyeol snaps at him. Baekhyun couldn't help tightening his fists, he throws him a cold gaze but God knows how badly he wants to break down.

Chanyeol stares back with the same intensity. Even with a bunch of people passing by them, they continue testing each other.

"Phoenix? Hey, how're you?" a bunch of women, who all look like models, greet the producer that made his face soften. His gaze leaves Baekhyun's eyes to turn to them, and Baekhyun is relieved he had a moment to collect himself.

"I'm good. I'm good. Enjoy your night out." he smiles at them, very opposite to what he was to Baekhyun. The other greeted him too, dismissing Baekhyun's presence. Baekhyun realizes that they're already back at the bistro's back exit. He quietly walks away from them, trying not to get their attention that's obviously focused on Chanyeol. But the producer's attention isn't on them.

"Baekhyun." Baekhyun stops walking when he hears it, he turns around to see Chanyeol alone again. His face is back to being serious, but not as mad as it was before. Baekhyun casually grins at him, hiding his trembling fingers in his pockets. He's just tired.

"Thanks for your time, Producer Park." he sarcastically says before walking away. He doesn't hear him call his name again.

He walks to the other side of the bistro, where he may just take a cab or walk back home. _He doesn't know._

"Baekhyun?" he sees Jieun walking towards him, she seems to be waiting at the parking lot. Her face is etched with worry, "Baekhyun, are you okay?"

Baekhyun looks at her, "Why are you here..."

"Chanyeol called me." she answers, "Did something happen? Huh?"

This seems to trigger all his emotions. Baekhyun remembers every single thing he was told, and it hurts a lot.

"Baekhyun, what's wrong?" Jieun asks again when he looks into space, his eyes glistening.

"Let's go home..." he says, traumatized. But it sure wasn't because of his experience with the psycho.

x

  
  
Another week came and Baekhyun's already attached to the child. Even if she's still a little reserved when it comes to him, the child still shows signs of slowly opening up. She smiles at Baekhyun's little actions and she loves his presents. Baekhyun just hopes that things aren't hard for him. He thinks of the possible reasons why life must be so unfair for him to fight this hard for this petition.

But he convinces himself, that maybe he has to wait for it to be worth it.

"This will be our last evaluation before the trial. Thank you, Mr Byun and good luck!" two women from the city courthouse bid their goodbyes as Baekhyun sent them outside. He smiles at them politely and bows a few times. It's safe to say that they really like him, "Mrs Kang, thank you!" they add and the old woman only nods.

"Thank you as well!" Baekhyun cheerfully says before they left. He returns to the living room where Eunhee is and continues to play with her.

"What's the right color?" he mumbles as they both slouch on the floor, working on the coloring book he bought for he. "Pink? You like her hair pink?" he smiles when she nods without hesitation.

They're both busy on coloring when he hears a car arriving outside. Even though he knows who it is, Baekhyun finds himself standing up to look at the window. He snorts when he sees the same benz parking outside. Irritation flowing inside, Baekhyun only chooses to ignore it and continue coloring with Eunhee.

He's been told by Mrs Kang that Chanyeol tends to go earlier because he needs to go back to his studio for meetings that's why their schedules are conflicted. Baekhyun doesn't know why he should be the one to adjust but he agrees nonetheless. Being in a same place with him for an hour is still bearable.

"Chanyeol!" he hears the same enthusiastic greeting that was never the same for him.

"Good evening! I brought something." he wants to roll his eyes with the producer's cheerful voice and the sound of plastic bags. Baekhyun prevents himself from reacting. He focuses on coloring the drawings with Eunhee, and as if fate sides with him this time, the child is unbothered by the arrival of her favorite person too.

"Good evening, Ma'am..."

Baekhyun was trying good enough. But when a delicate voice of a woman came in the picture, his gaze couldn't help moving to their direction.

"Oh..." Mrs Kang smiles timidly. She is also surprised, but she turns to Chanyeol with a meaningful gaze, "Such a beautiful woman..." she smiles to the girl who looks younger than him, at least from Baekhyun's inspection. She's wearing a sophisticated clothes, sophisticated shoes and an equally sophisticated smile. _Rich girl._ Baekhyun wants to puke.

_His taste in women didn't even change._

"This is Mrs Kang, Eunhee's grandma." Baekhyun watches how Chanyeol introduced them, "This is Seola, Ma'am. Mr Kang knows her. She's the daughter of the previous owner of the building where Phoenix is." she bows again. Baekhyun raises a brow.

Well at least she got some manners now. He doubts if Shein will ever do that if they ended up together. What a chaos it must be.

Something bitter rushes down his throat but he dismisses it in a snap. Baekhyun's focus goes back to Eunhee's coloring book right before they turn to him. He might've convinced them that he's too busy to give a shit.

He doesn't even budge when they walk towards them.

"Eunhee!" Chanyeol's voice is loud and attracting. From the corner of his eyes, he sees the child's head tilt up to look but his expected reaction from her is nowhere to be found when she stays with the same reaction. Baekhyun purses his lips. He can almost hear her snorting. _Eunhee and I are really similar that it's scary. _He tries not to laugh.

"Oh no..." Chanyeol is taken aback too, "Someone's not happy to see Uncle Park?"

_Yeah, me. _Baekhyun thinks to himself but remained unbothered.

"This is Eunhee..." Chanyeol mumbles to the girl beside him, almost disappointed. "And that's Baekhyun." Baekhyun wants to scoff with the first name basis but still manages to look at them. He sees the woman smiling at them with the same smile she did earlier.

"Hi!" she greets. Baekhyun only smiles in response. He doesn't even know how it looked but when her smile fades off a little, he figured it must look terrible.

It was even worse when they decided to sit on the couch near them to talk. _What the fuck? _Baekhyun grits his teeth when he can hear their conversations and laughter. He's pissed for pete's sake! This man who's been slapping him with the fact that he's already an overly successful, rich, snotty bastard can't even take a girl on a fancy date! _Really? They're hanging out here? Is this what an ideal date looks to him?_

"Dumbass." he hissed under his breath as he colored the dragon thoroughly, as if murdering it.

"Baekhyun?" he looks at them when he heard Chanyeol call him, Seola girl looks at him too, "You were saying something?"

"Huh??" he acts clueless, but Chanyeol's raised brows made him shrug, "Ah I was talking to Eunhee..." he smiles fakely before facing Eunhee, "Munchkin, this is how you color a dragon..." he points out but saw the child glaring on the girl beside Chanyeol, Baekhyun's eyes widen and immediately covered her from their sight with his back.

The child's eyes fall on him, her mouth pouting as if she's close to crying. And Baekhyun doesn't need to ask why, "You wanna go out, honey? Let's go to the swing?" she nods and immediately stands up with Baekhyun. Chanyeol's eyes went to them and his attention isn't on the girl anymore.

"Mrs Kang, can we go out for a bit?" he asks with the child holding his hand. Mrs Kang looks at them in reluctance.

"Why? Do you need something?" Baekhyun shakes his head, "Well...it's almost dusk―"

"It's getting dark, it's not safe to go outside." he hears from behind and Chanyeol is now beside them. Baekhyun shuts his eyes tightly to compose himself.

"We're not going far, we'll just stay on the swing." Baekhyun answers coldly. Chanyeol crosses his arms over his chest as he stares at him with narrowing eyes, "And it's not for you to decide, it's my schedule."

"Why don't you just stay here, Mr Byun? Eunhee dear, don't you want these donuts Uncle Park bought?" Baekhyun is getting more irritated. He feels everyone being against him and it's ridiculous.

Eunhee doesn't answer but she started groaning in frustration while tugging Baekhyun's pants. He lifts her up in his arms and maintained a stoic expression. The old woman had no choice but to agree.

"Okay...just be careful. And don't stay too long there." she says when she sees her granddaughter insisting. Chanyeol seriously looks at them but Baekhyun pays no heed. Chanyeol better stay on his line because Baekhyun isn't cool with him meddling anymore as if he's already the parent. His bossy attitude doesn't apply to everyone especially Baekhyun.

"What are you doing?" Baekhyun hisses when he feels a presence behind him when they stepped out.

"I'm coming with you." he wants to cuss but is kind enough to consider the child in his arms.

"I don't need you to come." he snaps and throws him a cold look, _stay in your fucking date, _"At least let me use my supposedly _alone_ time with Eunhee that I haven't had ever since."

The taller chuckles in disbelief, "Now you're accusing me of stealing your time." he steps closer, "You're making such a big fuss about it, Byun. I just want to keep her safe."

"Well I can do that. I can protect the child without your help. Stop acting like you have a say over everything." he says. Chanyeol is dumbfounded, "Stop meddling in my goddamn business, Park."

He doesn't wait for his response when he walks to the subdivision playground on the other side of the road. He's relieved when the other doesn't follow anymore. He places Eunhee to sit on one of the swings, occupying the one beside it.

Baekhyun breathes the fresh air of the place. He realizes that he needed that, when he barely breathes whenever he's there inside, with him. He always had a hard time doing so.

He combs Eunhee's hair with his hands while he gently rocks the swing back and forth. The 3-year-old looks a lot tinier as her feet hang on the edge of the small swing. Baekhyun tries to get her attention.

"What's wrong baby?" she blinks when he sits in front of her, "Why so sad?"

"Bad..."

"Who's bad? Uncle Park?" she didn't answer, but her eyes say a lot, "Girl with Uncle Park?"

She nods, her face screams revulsion.

"Bad? You don't like her?"

"Don't like..." she mumbles.

"Oh..." Baekhyun nods, he tries to cheer her up, "It's okay. She isn't bad...Uncle Park is friends with her so she must be nice." he said but Eunhee shakes her head again. Baekhyun had no choice but to only smile.

His hand continuously rocks the swing as they fall silent again. His gaze goes on the house from the distance, where Chanyeol's probably enjoying his time with the date he brought. Baekhyun can almost think about what they'll do after this. Or maybe they even did it for a couple of times now, who knows? Chanyeol just seems to be the kind of guy.

And then his thoughts went deeper. What if he's really serious with her? _What if they've always been a thing? _He seems to be the kind of guy as well.

Baekhyun sighs. If they are, then how about Eunhee? What if Chanyeol gets the custody and he ends up marrying her too? Eunhee's gonna feel bad.

_Idiot. Of course, she'll grow to like her!_

"Meow meow!!!" his deep but senseless thoughts are disrupted by Eunhee's shriek. He turns around to see her pointing at a white kitten meters away. Before Baekhyun can even react, she jumps off the swing on her own and runs towards the kitten.

"Eunhee, wait don't run!" he immediately follows her. The kitten runs away too when it saw them running to its place. Baekhyun sees her going through the metal bars without looking at them properly, "Oh shit."

"EUNHEE!" his scream is filled with horror and panic, he runs to the child who fell face first on the floor. Her loud cry bursted.

"Oh my god, oh my god..." Baekhyun scoops her up and wipes the dirt on her clothes and face. Sweat starts tickling on his forehead especially when he sees blood on the child's chin.

"What happened?!" they all rush to where they are and Chanyeol is already pulling her away from Baekhyun's shaking hands, "What did you do?!"

"Chanyeol, she's bleeding..." the girl points out that made Chanyeol even angrier.

"I-I didn't...I..." Baekhyun couldn't talk, his eyes remain on Eunhee, checking if she's not badly hurt but Chanyeol pulls her away, "She w-was running...and she fell..."

"What was so hard about keeping her safe?! It could've been worse Baekhyun!" he seethes in anger and Baekhyun couldn't keep up with all the blaming, "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"It was an accident! Why are you blaming me?"

"Because I fucking told you it isn't safe and you didn't listen!" the two women step back from the intense argument. Mrs Kang pulls Eunhee on the nearest bench to calm her down and check other wounds, constantly looking at them fighting.

"I didn't know! Do you think I wanted that to happen?!"

Chanyeol pants heavily, "The moment you acted almighty in front of my face with that goddamn pride of yours, you claimed all the responsibility!"

Baekhyun bites his lip as he continues to receive insults, "It's not my fault!"

"It is your fault!" Chanyeol snaps at him and Baekhyun has never felt this small in front of him, "You're so fucking hardheaded!" he shouts before turning his back on him. Baekhyun bites his tongue as his eyes start to get hot.

"If you despise me so much then just say it!" he shouts and his voice breaks. Chanyeol stopped walking, "Say what you want and leave this out of it! You don't need to insult me every time you get the chance!"

"You're making this about you again, aren't you?" Chanyeol scoffs as he walks back in front of him.

"IT'S BECAUSE IT IS!" Baekhyun yells back, "You're mad? That I left you before? You're mad because you lost that deal? And you hated me all for it!"

"For Christ's sake the world doesn't revolve around you! What makes you think I'll have myself stuck in a grudge for that petty relationship? Is that how high you think of yourself? Oh please." he laughs sarcastically and Baekhyun never thought such mean words are capable of slipping out from this man's lips, far from how he knows him.

"Chanyeol...that's enough..." Seola tries to stop him, noticing how Baekhyun's eyes start glistening and his fists are tightening.

"Well then, if you must know. I really do despise you, Baekhyun. But that's because you're difficult and egotistical! Even before, you're so fucking full of yourself!" he raves in so much outrage.

Baekhyun can't stop the tears falling from his eyes. He isn't able to talk. Chanyeol's face softens when he sees this. He gulps when Baekhyun's eyes scream nothing but pain and torment.

Chanyeol only said what he wanted. Or maybe what he felt at that moment. He shouldn't regret it. He shouldn't.

"I h-hate you..." he hears him mumble under his breath, and he expected a lot more insulting words for the other to retaliate. But when this slipped from Baekhyun's lips, it felt the worst.

Chanyeol gulps again and keeps his face straight, he nods his head.

"Good." he coldly says, "Now do me a favor and stay away." he says before walking away to leave him.

Baekhyun sobs on the same spot. His eyes don't seem to run out of tears. He felt humiliated, insulted and crushed by Chanyeol himself.


	30. 29-Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may not be able to reply to comments most of the time but i really appreciate them a lot <3 they motivate and make me happy so thank u! we're almost near the end

It was a tough week.

God knows how hard it was for Chanyeol to stop himself to completely snarl at his staff and employees. He tried to put himself on their positions, having a boss who's letting out his hatred for the world directly to them. It must be difficult.

He doesn't care though.

The pressure he's giving them is no joke. He's pretty sure he made a trainee cry the other day. He also made them rewrite a song all over again. He's an asshole.

And why is he being like this? Why is the producer having a hard time to calm himself after that incident? Not even him knows.

Everytime he recalls the image of those glistening eyes looking at him, hurt, he can't seem to forgive himself.

_But he deserved it._ He thought for the nth time. _He should learn his lesson and just stay away for good._

Wednesday night and he's out of the studio to grab a coffee. He's been there for the entire day, working his ass off. Chanyeol is like a strong force paving a way for himself as the people he comes across automatically move away from his way. His cold and slightly frowning face makes him even more unapproachable.

He badly needs coffee.

He manages to relax his face when he walks inside the coffee shop, not wanting to scare the people there as well. He looks around, waiting for his order to be served. But before his gaze could even go back to the counter, he sees someone so familiar. His head turns again to the same direction, confirming his guess. His throat went dry for some reason.

For the record, what Chanyeol needs to do is turn back to the counter and get his iced coffee then walk straight out of that place. He shouldn't even think of approaching her. After all, he doesn't have anything to do with her anymore.

But his dumbass self is still there, stupidly watching the woman a few meters away from him. His mind is in chaos. Should he at least stop and say hi?

As if she heard his contemplations, her head tilts up to his spot. Her gentle features are still the same, especially when her lips curve into a smile. Chanyeol thought he saw her eyes brightened a little bit.

"Chanyeol?"

Now he does look stupid. He's standing there like an idiot, with his coffee on his hands. He blinks a few times.

"Oh Chanyeol, is that you?" she lifts her weight up from her seat with her hands, "Come here!"

Chanyeol's face awkwardly breaks into a shy smile. He walks to her table and stiffly meets her open arms waiting for his hug. He feels a quick peck on his cheek before she taps his arm to motion the chair in front of her.

"How have you been?" she happily asks, Chanyeol noticed how she aged so much, but her rectangular smile still makes her look youthful, "You still look good! I've heard so much about you when I came back!" she says genuinely.

"I'm doing great, Mrs Byun..." he answers politely, "how are you? I didn't know you came back." he says, trying to continue the conversation.

"Well I just arrived yesterday. I'm also going back this weekend. Quick, right? I just came to check on...Baek." she sheepishly smiles when she wasn't able to avoid mentioning her son, "But you. Look at you! Aside from your success, I heard you're adopting too. Is that right?"

Chanyeol gulps. He doesn't even know if she's aware about...the petition.

"I am actually..." he answers, looking at his straw, "S-Sorry if I had to compete against Baekhyun...I didn't know-"

"Oh stop it. You shouldn't be sorry!" she grins before shaking her head, "that kid is so stubborn. I told him to just look for other kids but he badly wants her. I didn't even understand why but now..." she pauses, looking at Chanyeol, "I think... I think I understand."

Chanyeol looks at her.

"What do you mean, Ma'am..."

She laughs gracefully while shaking her head.

"Well...you always had the same heart over things. When I knew that you want to adopt the same kid too, I understood why Baekhyun wanted it."

Chanyeol dismisses his raging heart, he tries his best to casually chuckle.

"I d-don't understand."

"I've always thought you want the same things. Maybe Baekhyun saw what you've seen too. After all, the both of you agreed with each other on almost everything before."

Chanyeol's gaze falls on his hand. Did they really?

Then why did they drift away from each other?

"Ironic how you have disagreements and fight over a child now, when I'm pretty sure you have exactly the same reasons." she smiles meaningfully before sipping her coffee.

Chanyeol isn't able to say anything. He only smiles. Though there's a pang somewhere in his chest.

"Dear, I know this might be so late. But allow me to take this chance to say sorry..." she mutters, lips forming into a sad smile, "If I only knew that everything will turn out this way then I shouldn't have forced Baekhyun to leave before."

Chanyeol could hear his heart, as if it's beating through his ears. He didn't expect this to be brought up in an instant. After all, he's been avoiding this topic ever since, yet he finds himself anticipating Mrs Byun's words.

"I'm really sorry. I hope you understand. Baekhyun...he was in so much pain and pressure that time. He didn't know how to handle things he never knew about. All he ever had were terrible experiences since he was a child, and when we reconciled, I even made...everything worse for him." she tries to stay calm but her voice breaks.

Chanyeol automatically holds her hand to give her comfort. He sees how the woman struggles into finishing her words.

"Every night, I saw how lonely he was, crying when he thinks I'm not looking. You see...Baekhyun is so strong. But I had him endure the pain that is more than he can handle. I-I'm..." she forces a smile even if tears fell from her eyes, "I'm such a t-terrible mother."

Chanyeol shakes his head, he gulps the lump forming in his throat as he speaks.

"You're not, Mrs Byun." he finds the right words to add, "It w-was his choice too...To leave-"

"N-No Chanyeol... You don't understand..." she bites her lip as she clutched Chanyeol's hand, "If it w-wasn't for that...bankruptcy and that d-damn cancer I had, he would never...ever consider that. He wouldn't leave like that." she closes her eyes tight, as if trying to erase the memories coming back.

Chanyeol's mouth part in shock.

Did he hear it right?

"Cancer?" Chanyeol mumbles weakly, "I d-didn't know you were sick, Mrs Byun. How...?"

The woman looks back at him with the same questioning eyes.

"I recovered a year after my operation two years ago, Chanyeol. I had a pancreatic cancer and I had to...go on full medication." she faintly gasps, "He didn't tell you?"

Chanyeol's hands start trembling. He clutches them into tight fists.

He starts connecting the dots, every question he asked before and throughout those years. He starts answering them one by one too.

"So that's why h-he left..."

Mrs Byun doesn't know what to say. She watches Chanyeol, who's blankly staring into space. His eyes are glistening against the light.

"I'm so...so sorry." she covers her mouth as she tears up, "It must be so hard for you too..."

Chanyeol can't talk. It's as if he completely lost his voice, his lips are slightly parted but no words came out.

He recalls everything he said to Baekhyun that night. Eveything he said to him recently. He recalls them all including the look on his face.

And it is really possible to hate yourself even more.

Chanyeol repeatedly cussed inside his head. _He should've told me._

_I could've been there for him. If he only trusted me. I could've shared his pain. He wouldn't have to be alone through all that shit. All of these wouldn't have happened._

And now it's too late.  


x  
  
  


Baekhyun was very eager to come home after hours of meeting on a Thursday afternoon. He might've only taken 5 minutes to change his formal clothes into sweatpants and buttoned shirt before convincing Jieun to drive him to Mr Kang's house.His scheduled time is in 30 minutes so he's rushing already.

The earlier he gets there, the better. He can leave earlier without having to bump into Chanyeol. He's had enough of getting himself into so much trouble.

Never seeing him again seems like a good idea.

He was panting when he got there, eight minutes before six. Jieun was also in a hurry so she left immediately after dropping him off.

His quick walking slows down when he sees the usually quiet home filled with people both in and out of the house. He walks closer and tries to figure what could be happening but his name is called.

"Baekhyun-ah!" Mr Kang is all smiles coming from behind, his arms filled with bags of drinks and ice cubes. Baekhyun is obviously confused, "You received my message?"

Baekhyun absentmindedly pats his pockets, cringing in realization. "I...must've left my phone."

"Yeah, you look like you were in a rush." The old man lets out an airy laugh, patting his back. They start to walk, "I was supposed to tell you that you'll have to miss your alone time with Eunhee today because there's a celebration. Is it okay?"

Baekhyun nods, "It's fine, don't worry. What is the celebration for by the way?"

"It's my 73rd birthday so..."

Baekhyun stops, his eyes widen. "Oh my god I forgot! I'm so sorry... I should've got you something..." he says apologetically.

"Oh this kid... Don't apologize! We're just having a simple dinner with my boss and some of my colleagues, nothing big." Baekhyun smiles. Mr Kang looks at him when he stops, "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I thought I'll just come back when-"

"Of course you're invited! Come here!" Mr Kang insists, waiting for him to come inside.

"Are you sure it's fine?" Baekhyun sheepishly asks, slightly worried when he remembers his last encounter with Chanyeol. He wouldn't want to ruin this for Mr Kang, "I mean...my clothes..." he looks at his very comfortable clothes.

"What are you talking about? You look fine!"

"Mrs Kang...she may not be expecting me to co-"

"Aish, this kid!" Mr Kang pulls him inside, leaving him with no choice.

He's greeted by the sight of so many people, both on the living room and the kitchen. Their eyes landed on him as Mr Kang introduced him to the bunch. He only responded with a timid smile, unfamiliar with the most of them. From the corner of his eyes, he could see a familiar tall figure, but he chose not to look.

He was left to sit on the corner, quiet and lost with all their stories about work. His eyes caught a little girl staring at him from the other side of the room, watching him with a toy in her mouth while a woman visitor carries her. His lost expression breaks into a smile, he waves at her and crinkles his eyes. Eunhee only remains watching him.

He can feel other pair of eyes watching him too but he keeps his gaze steady. He's not in the mood to play with his own feelings, not tonight okay?

"Baekhyun..." Mrs Kang gently calls him after a few minutes. Baekhyun turns around and smiles at her, she timidly smiles back. Her small granddaughter is with her now. "I'm glad you came. You can bond with Eunhee for the rest of the evening..." he's happy that she didn't hold any grudge against him even after what happened.

"Thank you, Mrs Kang." he genuinely responds with a beam, "Though I'll have to leave after the dinner. My Mom just arrived from states."

"Oh, is that so..." she purses his lips and looks at Eunhee, "I thought you'll stay since Jungmin had a Karaoke for them to sing the whole night." she chuckles.

"That sounds fun." Baekhyun grins but the old woman only shakes her head.

"He had no choice since I won't allow him to drink. I'd rather have him screaming a song there." she says and Baekhyun laughs, "Anyway, I'm making you wait too long for dinner! Can you look after Eunhee first? I'll just finish preparing..." Baekhyun smiles bigger when she hands him her tiny hand. Eunhee looks at him quietly.

He goes back to his seat and lifts her over his lap. Eunhee faces him with a shy smile on her face, Baekhyun's heart flutters. His eyes accidentally land on Chanyeol, who's leaning on the kitchen door watching them, his face is serious but his lips are slightly pursed. Baekhyun clears his throat as he looks away. _Goddamn._

He pinches Eunhee's cheeks as he talks to her.

"Did you miss me?" he asks, anticipating her nod but she only stares blankly. Baekhyun bites his lip, "It's okay. I still missed you."

"Adada..."

"Hmm?"

"Adada! Dada!" she bounces while shrieking. Baekhyun's eyes widen.

"Dada?" he points to himself, "Me? Dada?" the kid nods continuously. Baekhyun feels exceptionally happy.

"Oh, Eunhee..." he groans, kissing her head, "It should be daddy, but okay, dada's fine."

"Papa!"

She shouts and instantly points to where Chanyeol is. Baekhyun looks at him, the other guests look at him too with the child's sudden outburst. Chanyeol looks equally surprised as them, lips parted as he points himself.

"Papa! Apapa!" she happily jumps on Baekhyun's lap. The guests burst out into laughter and giggles. Mr and Mrs Kang came in and knew about what happened, they grin from ear to ear as well. Baekhyun is the only one who can't bring himself into even smiling.

Chanyeol has this stupid smile on his face, repeating the name for himself, "Papa?" he asks that made Eunhee jump in joy. Baekhyun helplessly holds her still.

"Mr Kang, looks like your granddaughter wants all the options." someone said that made them laugh again. Baekhyun lets Eunhee's back cover his face. Especially when he hears everybody's amusement, except him.

He made sure to bid his goodbye to Mr and Mrs Kang silently so that he wouldn't grab more attention and be asked to stay longer. When he stepped outside, he realized his own dilemma.

Baekhyun stares at his watch for a few seconds, contemplating how he should call Jieun when it is actually an absurd idea because he left his goddamn phone and she must be at work. Stupid.

Baekhyun groans.

"You going home?"

He almost jumped in shock. Though he didn't need to turn around to know who it was based from the distinct deep voice itself. He's wondering though, why he's talking to him after what happened.

He doesn't answer.

"How will you go home?"

"Why are you talking to me?"

Chanyeol innocently raises his brows at this.

"Am I not allowed?"

"You're not."

"Who said?"

Baekhyun glares at him. But Chanyeol remains looking clueless. Baekhyun cusses under his breath before clearing his throat.

_Fine. It's not like I'm affected. So casual is casual._

"I had my friend drive me here. But she left so I guess I'll just take a cab." he answers, still a bit hostile.

From the corner of his eyes, he can see Chanyeol pursing his lips while nodding. He thought it was over but the taller speaks again.

"Let's have a drink then."

Baekhyun faces him with his expression of disbelief. A drink!?

"I'm sorry?"

"A drink. We can grab some. Besides, you can't grab a cab in this area. It'll take you years, so you can just hail one at the center of the city."

Baekhyun fakes a smile before shaking his head.

"Hmm, I don't think so." he says before turning away again.

"Fine. I was just casually asking. Since I don't have any issue or something..." he says tauntingly.

Baekhyun's eyes widen. He looks behind and sees Chanyeol looking away while pursing his lips. His hands are in his pockets.

_Issue? He honestly thinks he declined because he's grudging or something? God_!

Baekhyun grits his teeth before sighing. He straightens his expression before facing him again. He sees how Chanyeol's eyes travel back to him, amusement concealed.

_Think whatever you want, asshole._

But he finds himself shrugging, totally going along the challenge.

"Alright. Drink is yours then."

  
  
  
"Order whatever you want. It's on me anyway." he looks at the producer in front of him who's greeted by different people every now and then.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

Chanyeol leans on the couch. His eyes scream amusement.

"I can afford, that's it."

Baekhyun only narrows his eyes at him. The arrogant remark doesn't go unnoticed.

"Fine. I'm not really that bad, okay?"

Baekhyun ignores this. His eyes are on the menu but his thoughts manage to answer.

_Of course, I know that._

"It's just pointless when we're bickering all the time." he grins but he gulps before continuing, "And I'm sorry for everything I said last time. I was just shocked."

Baekhyun only nods. He's not even that mad anymore. Probably because he thinks part of it was true.

And because it's Chanyeol.

Gosh, how fucked is that.

They were silent on their own seats until their drinks got served. Baekhyun's gaze travels from bottle to bottle, rethinking if he's still in the right mind for being here. He starts drinking nevertheless.

"What are your plans after the hearing then?" Chanyeol asks out of the blue, looking at his own glass.

Baekhyun blinks a few times, sipping some more as he answers.

"Go back to America." Baekhyun answers, "I left a lot of work there."

Chanyeol doesn't nod or what. He only purses his lips.

"Even if you get Eunhee?"

Baekhyun paused because of this. How will he say that he doesn't see himself staying here anymore? That whatever happens, he'll go back to the place where he can easily wake up everyday without something to remind him of this man?

Even if it never felt like home.

"Maybe I'll stay for a bit longer. To fix all her papers then eventually bring her with me."

Chanyeol looks at him this time. His eyes are unreadable. Baekhyun doesn't know what it was for but he stares back. Chanyeol manages to flash a grin.

"I see." the taller says, sipping his vodka before laughing, "Good thing I'll be the one to get her."

Instead of getting offended, Baekhyun surprisingly responds with a chuckle. He smiles and only shakes his head. He just doesn't feel like arguing with Chanyeol anymore. _There you go,_ he thinks to himself, _I told you you can get along._

Chanyeol's laugh soon fades, he looks down at his glass. His face still has the ghost of his smile but his eyes say otherwise.

Baekhyun fails to notice.

"How about you?" he cringes after swallowing the tequila straight down his throat, "What's your plan?"

"I don't know." Chanyeol blankly stares at nowhere. _Do the same old shit,_ "Maybe get married. Have kids. Expand the company."

Baekhyun doesn't look at him, but he's smiling.

He expected that actually. For a man like Chanyeol. It's even more a surprise to him when he came back and Chanyeol is still unmarried. He has always been the marriageable type ever since Baekhyun can remember.

"How's Sehun by the way?"

Baekhyun looks at him, but the taller's eyes are fixed on his hands filling his glass with a drink.

"He's okay. He enjoys studying which was quite unexpected." he flashes a halfhearted smile that doesn't go unnoticed to Chanyeol.

The producer shrugs, "You inspire him that much I guess."

Baekhyun gulps. He knew he'll hear more of this assumption. And he can just shut up about it, honestly. Why should he care if people will think that he happily ran away with Sehun? There's nothing to lose.

But he opens his mouth, suddenly wanting to clear it up in an instant.

"We're not together, if that's what you're thinking."

Chanyeol just shrugs, his gaze distant. And Baekhyun can't help adding more.

"He was like a bestfriend. And nothing changed about that."

Chanyeol looks at him, "You're saying he never pursued you in those years?" he asks, trying to sound casual but his eyes scream curiosity.

Baekhyun smiles a little, "He did."

Chanyeol stares at him, waiting for further details. When Baekhyun doesn't say more, he can't help continuing.

"And?"

Baekhyun only shakes his head.

"It just doesn't work like that..."

Chanyeol looks away, looking unsatisfied but chose not to ask anything more.

"How about you and Seola?" he asks, deeming casualness too, "how long have you been dating?"

Chanyeol raises his brows before laughing, even shaking his head in amusement. Baekhyun frowns.

"What?"

"Me and Seola are friends." he says with a grin, he sipped from his glass before continuing, "she has a girlfriend."

Baekhyun almost dropped his jaw but he didn't show that he's overly surprised. _What the hell. _He suddenly felt terrible about all the things he thought of her. Baekhyun feels so bad.

After another silence, Baekhyun clears his throat to talk.

"I heard you talked to Mom." Baekhyun says, earning him a nod. "Thank you."

Chanyeol creases his brows, "for what?"

"For...still treating her kindly. Despite everything that happened, I know you could've just acted like you don't know her but you didn't."

Chanyeol can't help smiling sarcastically. He sips from his glass, "She didn't do anything wrong to me. She was like a mother, and she still is. Whatever it was between us, it didn't involve her." _you were the only one who hid things from me. _Chanyeol thought but didn't say anything more.

Baekhyun forces a smile. He immediately understood the obvious meaning of this.

If this is the chance he's been given, then he'll do it all for once.

"I know." he gulps but didn't remove the smile on his face, "I was the only one who hurt you when I left. I didn't know that there will be so many implications including your career. And I'm sorry. I really am."

Chanyeol smiles in amusement. Staring directly at Baekhyun, his eyes scream disbelief. Baekhyun doesn't know if he said anything wrong.

"You think I was mad because of my career?"

Baekhyun isn't able to answer. _You were. _He said only in his mind. _He wouldn't hate me this much if it wasn't for that deal he lost after trying to go after me._

"I'm not like that, Baekhyun." he adds, still smiling. Baekhyun only watches him continuously drinking, his mind conflicted.

"Then why?" Baekhyun finally asks. His voice is filled with demand, that Chanyeol finds really ironic, "I don't see another reason why."

"I don't feel the need to answer." Chanyeol declares as he drinks more.

"Why? It's not so hard. It's a long time ago."

"Will you answer me honestly then? If I ask you now why you left me?" Chanyeol retaliates, gaze testing.

Baekhyun is caught off guard. He doesn't know how the tables suddenly turned.

"What?" Chanyeol watches him, his eyes narrowed. Baekhyun tries to open his mouth and answer. It shouldn't be hard, right?

"Well...we're not..." Chanyeol raises his brows, waiting for his words, "we weren't...honest and..."

"When did I ever become dishonest with you?" he chuckles, but there's no amusement in it, "_Oh._ That thing when you thought I lied to you about Mrs Byun's condition, when in fact I was clueless as well? That's it, right?"

Baekhyun blinks a few times, unable to process everything.

Chanyeol knew. He was sure he did!

Or was he?

"What a load of bull, Baekhyun." he laughs as he shakes his head. Baekhyun thought about all his assumptions years ago. How he was the one in doubt all the time, "But it's okay. I understand. You were blaming everyone that time. I figured that I was no different from all the people you pushed away."

"I..." Baekhyun gulps, "I-I'm sorry."

He doesn't dare look straight into Chanyeol's eyes that are staring at him, as if trying to crumple him more.

"I've forgiven you." he chuckles but isn't anywhere near convincing, "I mean, look at me now. I'm so much better. I've got everything I need right here with me. I let go of the past, ages ago. And I know you had too." he casually says, with a smile.

Baekhyun seems to lose his own voice. He chooses to stay silent.

_How can he do that? _He asks himself. _When will I ever be able to bravely say the same thing?_

He can't move on. He never did.

Especially when Chanyeol completely pulls the trigger to end his sentence.

"I've accepted it, long time ago." he smiles, "I've accepted that you just didn't trust me enough, like how I trusted you."

Baekhyun looks at the glass table in front of them, his heart twisting so bad. His feet badly want to stand up and ran away, as fast as he could.

He doesn't belong here anymore.

"Anyway," Chanyeol lets out a deep breath. He's back to smiling from ear to ear, "Past is past, right?"

Baekhyun gulps to keep his voice from shaking. He flashes his very used grin, realistic but inauthentic.

"Of course." he doesn't even bother looking at the bottle as he refills his glass, still smiling. Ironic how he badly wants to get drunk already but he's still wide awake, conscious about everything including the pain.

Chanyeol is the one watching his continuous shots.

"Isn't that too much?"

Baekhyun grins at this.

Not enough for someone who wants to die.

"Nope. I can tolerate a lot...like A LOT." he says with emphasis, his gaze taunting. Chanyeol narrows his eyes.

"Is that supposed to be a challenge?"

He shrugs, "For someone brave enough, maybe."

The producer grabs a bottle.

_"Brave enough huh?"_

  
  
  
Baekhyun is dominated by needs. His instincts that are telling him to look around and make sure that he's not gonna fall and crack his head, terribly failed. His eyes shut close, his feet are barely touching the floor but his ass is soon cupped and lifted up. He heard the door banging beside him, but he's aggressively pinned onto the wall to even be startled.

He knew getting so drunk is a bad idea. Otherwise he won't be here right now, panting as he's pinned to the wall with Chanyeol attacking his lips that they almost bleed. He won't be here pulling him closer in so much need, kissing him back hungrily.

It was a very, _very _bad, idea.

"Mmmh, wait I-" Baekhyun didn't even finish his plead when Chanyeol didn't let him.

He's sure as hell that he's flushed. Everything just feels so damn hot and all he can think about is sliding off from all these clothing. His buttons are popping in sound with the harsh pulling of each one of them. He feels a rough palm on his chest, Chanyeol's wet and hot mouth is now all over his neck.

Baekhyun tries to get his shit together. He tries to think. How did he end up here? Who the fuck was drunk and horny enough to pull the other one into a hot kiss in the car that eventually lead to this?

_You know what, fuck it._

Baekhyun wasn't even that drunk. He had a lot of drinks but he's still sober enough to think how completely fucked up it is to have sex with your ex in his house which is...part of the things you badly want to get rid of in your life. But that doesn't really mean he'll stop right now, when he's getting kissed and sucked on every part of his body.

Chanyeol, on the other hand...well, he's not really drunk as well. _Just a little._ Just enough to use it as a reason.

Baekhyun groans in complaint when his back is thrown on the large bed. His eyes wander around for a second before Chanyeol crawls on top of him, his intense gaze fixed on his exposed body. Baekhyun licks his bottom lip before pulling his head up to meet Chanyeol's hungry kisses. His hands are both on the hem of Chanyeol's white shirt, vigorously taking them off. The taller's mouth finds its way to his neck again down to his perked nipple, gaining him a whimper from the petite male.

"Fuck this..." Chanyeol hissed when he can't untie the knot of Baekhyun's pants. Baekhyun cussed and immediately regretted that he tied it too tight, otherwise he won't be squirming right now because of this torture. But he's even more taken aback when Chanyeol obviously lost his patience, cursing loudly, "Fucking shit!" he stood up from the bed with his hair messed and his teeth gritted. Reaching out for the scissors on the side, he went back and shamelessly cut the knot to completely pull it down with his last piece of clothing.

Baekhyun bites his lip because of the slight embarrassment.

Chanyeol pulls his legs away from each other, giving him a better sight of that erected cock and tight hole, anticipating his moves. His fingers find their way between Baekhyun's cheeks, tracing his hole and teasing his rim. Baekhyun bites his lip to prevent his moans, Chanyeol eagerly watches his face as he continues.

Putting two fingers in an instant, Chanyeol is able to hear those suppressed cussing he's been waiting for, "Mmm, ah shit..." He moves his fingers in and out, his cock twitching underneath his pants at the same moment Baekhyun's walls clench around his fingers. He moves them faster, scissoring his fingers to stretch it better for him. He leans down to torture Baekhyun even more, licking and sucking the sensitive parts of his thighs as his fingers continue.

"Take it off..." Baekhyun hoarsely says under his breath, looking at Chanyeol's pants that are still on him. "Take that thing off now."

"Still impatient." Chanyeol remarks that made Baekhyun silent. That word _still _surprisingly affects him so much. But his thoughts are soon drowned when he sees Chanyeol finally slipping off from his pants and boxers, revealing his glory standing big and proud in front of him. Baekhyun's mouth open in awe, his flaming eyes directed on Chanyeol's hard cock getting touched by his own hand gently. Baekhyun watches in agony and Chanyeol had to grin.

"Come here." his deep voice sends shivers down to his spine. He sits up and crawls to where Chanyeol is. Their faces are inch away from each other as Chanyeol kisses him quick, guiding his hand down to his cock where he instantly moves it by instinct. "Go on, baby. It's all yours."

Baekhyun's breath hitches.

"Don't call me that."

"Why? Does it affect you?" Chanyeol flashes a sly smile, "Past is past, right? _Baby_." he repeats and licks his lip with the sight of Baekhyun kneeling in front of him. He dismisses his glare. Chanyeol pulls him up again to hold his jaw, his lips find their way to Baekhyun's own again, he can't seem to get enough. Baekhyun looks at him directly in the middle of their wet and testing kisses, his chest heaving.

"Just so you know, this is nothing serious..." he mumbles in between their kiss, "We're just drunk...horny." Chanyeol bites his lip when his finger runs on his slit, "...and sad."

Chanyeol's eyes darken. Baekhyun almost thought he'll stop but he once again flashes a grin.

"If you say so." he says nonchalantly, "Now suck it like you mean it." he commands that Baekhyun didn't even wait to finish.

He's already bent down, taking Chanyeol completely in his mouth. Hard profanities start slipping out from his lips as his tip reached the warm cavern of Baekhyun's mouth. Baekhyun lets it reach his throat before sliding it off from his mouth with a teasing move from his tongue. Chanyeol grunts in frustration, his mind wavering.

"_Fuck_. Do that again."

Baekhyun looks up to him before sucking it again, his head moves up and down, producing a wet and lewd sound that gives Chanyeol goosebumps. He closes his eyes, wanting to pinch himself to see if this is really happening. Because for how many years did he imagine those people he fucked to be this one certain person? He lost count of it.

"Mmm, _fuck_ yes." he breathes as he finds his release inside the same warm mouth that is gladly swallowed. He wastes no time. Still panting and hard, he stands up and gets the bottle of lube from the table drawer. He turns to Baekhyun who's sitting on the bed, their eyes meet. And something in his chest starts rummaging again, only with that simple stare. He crawls back to the bed and pulls Baekhyun closer, whose face is now unreadable.

"I think..." he mumbles, unable to look at Chanyeol's face, "I don't think we should do-" Chanyeol harshly cuts him off, kissing him hard to shut him up completely. His weight makes them fall on the sheets with Baekhyun under him, panting against his lips. His hands find the soft skin of his back, caressing it down to his bum and thighs without stopping the kiss. He makes sure Baekhyun is breathless enough to stop talking.

_You're not backing out now, baby. We're not stopping._

He succeeds in making him forget about his reluctance when Baekhyun's now whimpering under him, his heavy breathing sounds delightful to hear as Chanyeol's lubricated fingers dug in and out of his hole while the other puts some on his aching cock. His fingers leave his hole to let the tip of his cock replace, his palms holding both Baekhyun's knees to spread them wider. He lets his rim get teased by his sliding tip, and Baekhyun isn't really a fan of it.

"Oh! Put it in!" Chanyeol smirks when his face starts flushing in frustration, he bites his lip as he screamed. "Put it in! _God!_ stop t-teasing me you _fuck_-" his sentence is finished by a scream when Chanyeol enters his hole without warning. And by that, he starts thrusting in and out too, hooking Baekhyun's left leg over his flexed arm to ram inside him deeper.

"_Ah_, there! _Oh fuck..._" Baekhyun's eyes start watering in pleasure as Chanyeol effortlessly finds his spot. The taller lifts his leg better that tilted his waist, his hard thrusts perfectly hit his spot that he almost can't recognize his voice. He pleads Chanyeol to go deeper, _harder,_ faster, in which the producer gladly obliges. His hoarse and deep moans turn him on in the wildest way possible.

"_Hnng-ah! Oh god yes..._" his teeth grit against each other as he feels his nearing climax. His eyelids start getting heavy by the mixed pleasure he's having. Chanyeol rams in a faster pace that creaks the bed itself. He droops down to Baekhyun's parted lips to kiss him once more. Baekhyun's hands grip on his shoulders, his voice trembling.

"_Chanyeol. Oh Chanyeol..._" the name slips from his mouth like a mantra. And Chanyeol doesn't seem to expect hearing any of this when his eyes are fixed on Baekhyun for that moment, his lips parted. His thrusting becomes slow for a bit before going back to the same pace. Baekhyun looks at him.

"W-Why..." Baekhyun manages to ask in the middle of their movements. Chanyeol only shakes his head, his face is serious.

"It's been a long time s-since I hear you call my name..." he mumbles with a sad smile before kissing Baekhyun again to avoid his eyes. Baekhyun doesn't know what to say. He finds himself tearing up after hearing those words and he doesn't exactly know why. The pleasure brought to him by sex isn't even comparable to the pain in his chest. And he can't hide now. He can't.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asks this time and almost stops moving when he sees Baekhyun's tears, "Am I hurting you?" he asks in concern.

_Crap_. Baekhyun almost cussed. _What a perfect question._

"N-No...You're not." he quickly wipes them off, "_Mmn―ah,_ faster..._please._" he pleads and avoids Chanyeol's concerned gaze.

He's fortunately distracted by his release for a moment. His juice spills onto his torso as Chanyeol fills him with his own. His thrusts become sloppier as they moan for the last time.

Chanyeol pulls out from him after spilling every bit of him in his hole. He falls on the space beside Baekhyun, still touching his thigh.

Their eyes are fixated on the dark ceiling. They let their heavy breathing be the only noise to conceal the silence.

He's damned. They both are. And the implications of what they did start rushing into his mind. Wherever you look at it, this is wrong.

It's not a scenario from more than three years ago anymore. This is the present. And whatever it was between them was nothing but a part of the past.

That's the truth.

Baekhyun feels the movement beside him, he didn't remove his gaze on the ceiling but he knows that Chanyeol stood up and went to the bathroom. Both of them didn't say anything. When he heard the door shut, he nonchalantly lets his tears drop from his eyes. He sobs quietly and lets his kept emotions out for once, despite the high chance of Chanyeol coming out of the bathroom and seeing him.

He still loves him. He loves Chanyeol so much, and that never changed. As if all the guilt he had from all those years apart wasn't enough, he even heard his side today that made him blame himself for everything. No matter how hard he denies it, he's still hopelessly in love with him. He wouldn't feel this fucked up if he's not. The funny thing is, this is almost the same as what they were doing years ago. The difference is that now, he doesn't have a cousin to fool because he's fooling himself. What an upgrade.

How pathetic, isn't it? Baekhyun laughs at himself. Chanyeol is gonna continue after this. He let Chanyeol fuck him tonight, not only literally, but figuratively. The man is going to move on, making him nothing but a part of his past, while Baekhyun is stuck in a pithole he dug deeper for himself by sleeping with his ex tonight.

It's just not the same as before. He can't take it back.

He's partly thankful that Chanyeol seemed to give him the time he needed to collect himself when he didn't come back quickly. Baekhyun curls himself up on the bed, lying on his side while fighting his strong urge to close his eyes. Baekhyun chose to look around the bedroom instead, that is so much bigger than the one in Chanyeol's old house. This screams wealth because of the details. And he can't imagine how the man managed to sleep in such a big house, alone.

Baekhyun thinks about Eunhee.

He took so many things away from Chanyeol before, and now he's trying to take Eunhee too. His heart breaks with the thought of Chanyeol losing more because of him again.

The door of the bathroom opens, emitting the light to the darkness outside. Baekhyun quickly closes his eyes, curling his body tighter as he pretends to sleep. He almost thought that Chanyeol left the room when minutes passed and he didn't feel any movements yet. But after a while, he feels the weight shifting in front of him. Baekhyun tries to keep his eyes closed and breathing stable.

Baekhyun is focused on one thing— to pretend sleeping until Chanyeol finally falls asleep too and he can finally sneak out of here to leave without him knowing. But when he feels a rough hand caressing his cheek, he stiffens.

His hand rests on Baekhyun's face for a moment, his thumb tracing his skin back and forth. Baekhyun prevents himself from trembling. His heart never felt this alive after so many years. For so long, he had long for this warmth, and now that it's here, he can't seem to comprehend a thing.

It feels just like...before. But of course, it isn't.

"Baekhyun..." Chanyeol whispers gently. His fingers comb into Baekhyun's locks, before going back to his face. His eyes are glistening as he watches the smaller's sleeping face an inch away from him.

_"Baekhyun,"_ he repeats with a much more gentle voice, as if he's afraid to disturb the other's peace.

_Don't leave. Just stay here. Stay with me._

_Say it, Chanyeol._

He opens his lips to say the words but no voice comes out. Right in the moment, Baekhyun's hand moves to hold Chanyeol's hand on his face. Chanyeol is almost startled, but he doesn't remove it. He watches how Baekhyun held his hand from his cheeks down to his lips, kissing it. He can feel Baekhyun's soft lips on his knuckles. He opens his eyes, instantly meeting Chanyeol's.

He smiles at him. And Chanyeol's heart couldn't stop beating frantically against his chest. He holds Baekhyun's face to pull him closer and kiss him passionately. Baekhyun is still smiling against his lips.

Baekhyun pulls away, Chanyeol looks at him in question. But he snuggles closer and nuzzles his face on his chest. He feels the sudden stiffness of the other but after a while, he feels long arms hugging him closer. They both got lost in each other's arms. And even if nothing's guaranteed, they seize it.

He waits for the taller to fall asleep, tracing stars while his eyes are closed. And it allows him to realize. Realize what exactly it was.

"Yeol," he breathes, knowing that Chanyeol is now sleeping from the stable breathing on his head. "thank you."

He's grateful. It was the closure he was wishing for.

Before dawn, Baekhyun got up from the bed. He swiftly wore his clothes from the floor and left Chanyeol who's peacefully sleeping, thinking that in his arms, Baekhyun stayed.

x

  
  
_"I've been hearing stories that you're not leaving your bed there."_ he hears a familiar apathetic voice from the other line as soon as he placed the phone on his ear, _"And why is that?"_

"Sehun?" his voice gets a little livelier, "Well...I feel a bit sick lately..." he lies.

_"Oh. Is the adoption process wearing you out that much?"_ Sehun asks, almost nonchalantly. But Baekhyun knew he knows more.

"It is." he sighs, "I never thought it'll take this long. I left a lot of work there." he says, trying to sound casual.

_"I bet that adoption process is difficult as hell," _Sehun taunts,_ "I heard you didn't even come home the other night. Did the process made you working til morning?"_

"I know what you're trying to say."

_"You slept with Chanyeol-hyung, didn't you?" _he knows the younger is shaking his head right now and it's scary how well they know each other, _"Jesus, I hope you realize what you've done, Baek."_

"We...I uh," Baekhyun smiles although it isn't genuine at all, "I realized a lot, actually."

Sehun pauses before asking, _"Like what?"_

"That my stupid ass isn't over it yet," he laughs sympathetically, "God, I'm so pathetic."

Despite him laughing, his friend from the other line doesn't respond the same way. He waits for Baekhyun to finish his forced chuckles before sighing heavily.

_"I know. I knew you would be stuck again when you decided to go back there." _he mutters and Baekhyun only listens even if he knows what will be next,_ "Are you okay?"_

"Of course." he instantly answers, but soon bit his lip with his lies, "Actually no. I-I'm not."

Sehun doesn't say anything when silence takes over. Even without seeing it, he knows that Baekhyun is curled up on his bed, crying his eyes out.

_"Come back home, Baek."_

Baekhyun lets out a sob.

"I love him. I still do."

_"I know, Baekhyun. I know."_ he can hear the concealed sadness from the younger's voice even from the other line. Baekhyun bites his lip, _"But your life...it's not there anymore. You went there to fix things. You even got more. You got closure. But Baek...it's time to go back. The more you stay there, the worse it gets. Your life is here now, Baekhyun."_ Sehun says, almost remorsefully. And Baekhyun doesn't want him to feel guilty. He knows that. He will need to go back to where he belongs. And it's not here anymore.

_"I'm sorry..."_

"Don't. There's nothing to be sorry for. I know what you meant. I knew that, but I still messed things up. I should've just stayed away." he sniffs and wipes his tears away.

He got the assurance he needed. He said what he should say. He was forgiven. And even if the process is hard, at least now he has something to look back to, to completely move on.

It's enough for him to know that Chanyeol doesn't hate him. It was more than enough.

_"Just...go back here when you're ready. I know things might be too much for you. Tell me if you're ready."_ Sehun says that made him smile.

He takes a deep breath.

"Let's not wait for that," he tries to sound cheerful, very ironic to how he really feels, "It will take too long."


	31. 30-Compromise

Chanyeol looks at himself on the mirror for the nth time. Taking a deep breath, he fixes his tie and moves his gaze to his comma-styled hair that made him look even more dashing. He's dressed and prepared. But something's still missing.

"Good luck." Jaewon grins at him as he walks down the stairs, "I have a good feeling about this. You'll get the child."

Chanyeol only smiles. He knows it. He has the biggest chance. Everyone's certain of it. But he can't seem to bring himself to be happy. He knows it's wrong, but more than the court's decision, he's looking forward to other things today. But he doesn't know what the real score is.

When he got there, he can see those hidden cameras from different corners. He's used to it. After all, the press doesn't have something big to talk about today so he guessed they just decided to follow the Producer of a rising entertainment company to write articles about his adoption process, which is weird and pathetic if you ask Chanyeol.

"Mr. Park!" the clerk welcomes him outside the court room together with two lawyers beside her. Chanyeol shakes their hands with his formal smile, "They're waiting for you inside."

Chanyeol's hands feel cold as soon as they walk inside. He's met by the sight of the old couple and the little kid carried by the city staff, while an old judge is getting ready on the corner of the bench. Chanyeol smiles at Mr and Mrs Kang who are on the other side of the room, then to Eunhee who looks clueless about everything around. He roams his eyes once more before looking down to his watch. After a few minutes of being briefed by his lawyers, Chanyeol almost jumped on his seat as the courtroom door opened. But it only reveals a group of clerks and two lawyers.

He sighs. He unintentionally watches how they walk towards the assigned clerk and city judge. The old man nods and Chanyeol can see how his eyes travel to him every now and then. He takes a deep breath and chooses not to overthink.

"Good day, everyone. We are here for the supposed final trial of Kang Eunhee's custody opened for adoption. But since the information delivered earlier today, the court is officially declaring the said child's custody to the remaining candidate for adoptive―"

"Wait―wait..." Chanyeol isn't able to stop himself from interrupting the clerk talking, "Remaining candidate? I...I don't understand. Where's Mr. Byun?" his gaze is uneasy, moving from each person in the courtroom as he finds an answer, "W-Why are we starting without him?"

"Mr Park, the court officially grants you the child's legal custody authorized by the child's grandparents themselves―"

"But where is he?" he cuts off again, his heart thumping so fast. His lawyers whisper behind him for him to stop talking but Chanyeol doesn't budge, "Isn't he supposed to be here?"

"He backed out for the petition, Mr Park." the clerk reluctantly says because of the man's demand for an answer, "He called in today saying that he's backing out from the custody's trial."

And it is happening again. Chanyeol's greatest fear. _It's happening all over again._

x

  
  
Baekhyun is in the middle of checking his things, most of them are on the floor of his carpeted room in his mother's house. He's still contemplating if he'll bring them all or just leave them.

He looks at the newly bought mechanical sharpener on the bed, with a set of color pencils and coloring book. He smiles sadly._ I'll just have to send it to her._

"Baekhyun?" Soeun sneaks her head from the door, "She's insisting to talk to you."

Baekhyun sighs, "I told you, I'm busy so tell her―"

"But she doesn't lis―"

"Just do it! I have to finish packing!"

"BAEKHYUN PLEASE!" she snaps that made Baekhyun turn to look at her in shock. She's standing on the door, panting heavily, "I'm close to losing my goddamn job! Just..." she looks down in guilt when she realized what she did and Baekhyun's gaze on her. But he purses his lips to prevent himself from laughing as he walks to her and hastily grabs the phone in her hand.

"You're always torn between Mom and I, aren't you? Make up your mind. You have to choose." he grins before placing the phone over his ear. Soeun's relieved sigh doesn't go unnoticed before she leaves.

"Eomma."

_"Baekhyun, I am not tolerating this again. I am in a meeting and you're the one stressing me out. Obey me this time."_

"What? I'm going back because I live there obviously! And you can't handle that alone, Mom―"

_"Don't pull that shit on me!"_ he's dumbfounded when his mother cursed, his mouth flew open, _"I've been running this shit alone for so many years even before you came so there's nothing I can't handle!"_

"B-But Mom!" he laughs nervously, "You're not allowed to exhaust yourself! You're getting older too! You need me there. There are a lot of problems to fix in the company."

_"No, Baekhyun. The company is fine. I am fine! You have no problems here, you just make them up to run away!"_ she hisses and Baekhyun is speechless again, _"I am not mad at you, honey. I love you so much but you're damn stupid sometimes! And I am not letting you go back here living a shitty lonely life because that's your home!"_

"M-Mom!!!"

_"Do not go back here, Baekhyun. This is not a request. I'm not letting you in my house if you do so. You hear me? Stay there and think about yourself for once for heaven's sake, Byun Baekhyun!"_ she didn't even let him answer when she instantly hangs up. Baekhyun is stunned.

Did his mother just scream a bunch of profanities? Did she just threaten him?

What is happening to the world?

Baekhyun is still staring into space when loud knocks on the door startled him. He comes back to his senses and walks to the door, preparing himself to school Soeun to keep calls from his mother away from him again. But when he opens the door, he's met by a tiny voice.

"DADA!"

He freezes on his spot when the kid beams at him while waving her small hand. But what shocks him the most is the fact that she's here, being carried by the same man he badly wants to avoid.

Gulping, he tries to flash a smile, "H-Hey..." he tries to sound casual, "What are you doing here?"

The kid is happy to see him, and that somehow makes him happy. She's bouncing on Chanyeol's arms, yelling incoherent words. But Baekhyun looks at the man who's seriously looking at him.

"Bringing your daughter." Chanyeol seriously says. Baekhyun remains speechless, not knowing what he meant, "The court originally sided with you. You were supposed to win but you gave it up because you wanna run away again." he says, his eyes screaming pain.

"Well..." Baekhyun smiles a bit, "It's a good decision, isn't it? She ends up with you."

Chanyeol crosses his brows, as if he isn't happy at all. As if there's nothing to feel good about it. The kid fortunately distracts him when she insists to go down in which he did. She runs away towards the gift on the bed that was supposedly hers.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, Baekhyun." Chanyeol says, preventing his voice to raise, "Few nights ago you were giving me signs! I thought we're okay! What was that for? Are you trying to mislead me?" his voice sounded so hurt and confused. Baekhyun doesn't know where this came from when it's obvious to him from the start.

"Mislead you?" Baekhyun blinks a few times, "What do you think it was? It was nothing! If it's something then it must be closure, Chanyeol. Whatever happened was―"

_"Bullshit,"_ he hisses that stuns Baekhyun, he looks behind him where Eunhee is but she remains facing the stuff on the floor. He looks back to Chanyeol who doesn't budge, "I don't need a closure, Baekhyun."

"Colour!!! Colour!!!" Baekhyun forces a smile to the child, he clenches his teeth to get a grip of himself. He doesn't even know how to react now that he's here in front of him. Baekhyun was just determined to get away as soon as possible, but here he is.

"Y-Yes, munchkin! That's yours..." he smiles despite his stuttering voice. Eunhee yells in joy before starting to devote herself into the latest gifts she received. Baekhyun's expression goes back to a conflicted one.

"What is it then?" he looks back at Chanyeol. Baekhyun can't help demanding even though he perfectly knows that he won't be able to handle the answer, "I'm lost Chanyeol. I'm mentally and emotionally tired and I just want this to be over!"

Chanyeol stares at him directly and he can't find the courage to do the same.

"And leaving is the best choice you have?"

"I don't know!" Baekhyun breathes heavily. His frustration isn't concealed anymore, "We slept together that night but that didn't make me forget how much you despise me. You hate me for everything that I did, you made me feel that for so many times! I'm doing what I think is right and now you're here again! I...don't understand..." he breaks down after continuously talking. His eyes feel warm, "I'm so confused!"

"I never hated you." Chanyeol says right after, "I was mad. I was mad with what you did. I was mad at myself because even after years of trying to be better, you still didn't come back to me. I was mad because you came back as if you never wanted to see me because you're over it while I'm still deeply stuck with you. You made me crazy even when you're not trying, Baekhyun, I was mad about that."

He looks down on the floor, biting his lip. Baekhyun watches him, his hands trembling.

"But I never hated you. You know I can't do that." he mumbles faintly, "Not when I'm still hopelessly in love with you. Even if you hurt me so bad, even if you leave for a thousand times and even if you forget about me. I'll still think about you every single second. That's how you fuck me up." he forced a laugh. Baekhyun looks at those eyes that have always been cold and distant, he's now seeing Chanyeol from that small apartment he had three years ago, saying the same thing.

This is...just too much. Hearing this from Chanyeol is too much.

He doesn't want to hear it.

He wants to stop listening.

Baekhyun cries in frustration, "Why are you saying this to me Chanyeol?" his palm covers his eyes before it runs through his hair, "You're playing with me! You told me you moved on! You shoved it to my face that you're better without me! Why should I believe you!?" he yells continuously. Chanyeol doesn't say anything but his eyes say enough.

They remain on their posts even when Soeun sneaks in to take Eunhee out of the room first, closing the door once they go out. Her nervous gaze traveled on the both of them before they left. The staffs must've heard the shouting and decided to take the kid out first.

"Is this one of your games? Because if it is, you're being so unfair!"

"You never figured." Chanyeol shakes his head, "I wouldn't be here, Baekhyun. You wouldn't see me again if I moved on. If I knew I'll be involved in something related to you then I would've backed out in a snap. But I didn't. I used every fucking chance to see you, because I was never over it." he gulps. Chanyeol tries so hard to swallow the lump in his throat, he keeps talking, "I told myself I'll have you wrapped around my fingers again. But it just backfired to me. When I got the career that I wanted and managed to be at the top, it hits me. I was never happy. That night I realized it's still you. And it's stupid of me to think that I could get even on you when I fell in my own trap."

Baekhyun can't stop himself now. He can't hide it any longer. His silent tears made Chanyeol step closer, his thumb wiping them away as they fall.

"Everything's my fault," a tear fell from Chanyeol's eyes too, Baekhyun looks at him but his eyes are on the floor. "I should've known you were going through so much that time... I shouldn't have forced you to be happy for me when you're facing a lot. I was selfish. I shouldn't have listened to you when you said you don't want me to go after you. You needed me, but I stayed here thinking that I'm better off without you. I'm sorry. I-It's my fault."

He quickly wipes the tears on his eyes, as if not wanting to be seen crying.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol lets out an exasperated sigh as he straightens up, "I've been a jerk. I know that. But I'm telling you this right now because I'm giving you the choice. I don't want you to decide without knowing my side. I want your decision to be completely from your heart. I love you so much. I really do." he says, trying to conceal his difficulty to continue, "But if you don't want this anymore, then I won't force you. If you really wanna leave, then I won't stop you. I'll understand." Chanyeol nods slowly, but the fear in his eyes hurts Baekhyun more than it should.

"I-I'll just stay here. I'll wait in case you change your mind..."

"Stop." Baekhyun's chest is heaving, "I don't want your apologies anymore."

Chanyeol looks at him directly, fear evident on his eyes, "B-Baek please..."

"No, stop." Baekhyun shakes his head, "You didn't know. I didn't tell you b-because my insecurities and trust issues took over. I left you because I was overthinking. I drifted myself away because I believed I'll only get in your way to reach your dream. Stop saying sorry when I was the stupid one from the very beginning!" he managed to finish before he felt the need to sob. It's true. And he doesn't want Chanyeol to say sorry for everything when most of it was his fault too. It's time to accept all his wrong decisions, "I was an idiot, Chanyeol. And everything I've done comes back to me every night, thinking about how you're doing...wishing that you weren't as miserable as I am..." he whimpers uncontrollably.

"Baek..." Chanyeol looks at him, his eyes in pain. The first few buttons of his polo are unbuttoned, making him look like a mess. A beautiful one.

"You had every right to be mad, Chanyeol. I never blamed you for that. I hurt you because of my stupid reasons..." he mumbles weakly.

"They weren't stupid..." Chanyeol says but Baekhyun shakes his head.

"I was just afraid..." he adds, almost a whisper, "That you'll grow tired of me. That I was just a phase for you because I brought you thrill, when you're already everything to me..." he says, looking ashamed but Chanyeol pulls his nape towards him. He wraps him in a warm embrace, as if Chanyeol is afraid to let go. Baekhyun shuts his eyes tight when he feels his breath on his neck.

"I'm so tired of seeing you run away, Baek." he smiles but his voice trembles, "I'm so tired of trying to run after you. I won't let you run now that I have a chance."

Baekhyun is tired too. It's exhausting to run away only to be pulled back again and again. He asks himself where the old Baekhyun's courage had gone. The one who doesn't give a shit to anything as long as he wants it. The one who feared nothing.

And Baekhyun realized, he's still here. Somewhere inside him. The part of him that tells him to go ahead, tell Chanyeol that he's an idiot but you love him too. The voice that tells him to grab the man in front of him and kiss him without giving a damn about any circumstances.

"Let's stop..." Chanyeol held his hand, his cold skin felt warm inside the taller's palm, "l-let's stop running, please Baek? Stay here and work this out with me. Tell me everything that bothers you, please baby." he leans forward to let their foreheads touch. He continued wiping the smaller's continuous tears.

Baekhyun finally smiles, but he can't stop crying as well. His puffed eyes crinkle even more.

"I'm tired too, Yeol..." he gulps, their eyes met and Baekhyun can't help touching the face he had missed, "the only truth I said that day three years ago was that I never stopped loving you...more and more."

Chanyeol takes this as a chance to clash their lips. It was a passionate kiss until Baekhyun finally opens his mouth to let Chanyeol's tongue inside him. He holds Baekhyun's face firmly as he kisses him deeper, pulling their bodies so close. He wraps his arms around the taller's shoulders when he feels them carelessly stepping backward. Baekhyun groans when he falls on his bed, lips still together and Chanyeol over him. His thighs are hanging on the edge of the bed as Chanyeol towers over him with his weight.

"I don't want to lose you again..." Baekhyun whispers when Chanyeol pulls away to let them breathe, "those were the worst three years of my life." he adds before Chanyeol kisses him more. His hands travel on Baekhyun's body as if marking them his own. His kisses move from his lips, to the side of it before he turns to his jaw. Baekhyun holds onto his shoulders.

"I'm sorry..." he mumbles again, voice already hoarse.

"_Sshh_. Enough." Chanyeol's face returns in front of him, his eyes are back to being so expressive, "I'll make sure I'm gonna give you all the assurance I didn't give you before." he droops down to place a bunch of quick kisses on his lips while his hands work on the other's shirt.

"I love you..." he whispers in between these pecks, _"I love you, Chanyeol." _Chanyeol's gaze on him fired up.

"Damn it." he cusses before lifting him up to be the one sitting on the bed while he placed Baekhyun over his lap, the smaller tries to lean down to kiss him again but he interrupts by completely taking off his shirt. When he succeeds, he lets Baekhyun pull him into a deep kiss once more. He works on his own clothes while Baekhyun helps him.

"God, I love you so much baby..." he huskily says when they're both out of their shirts.

He can feel Baekhyun's arousal on his stomach, only separated by his pants that he wishes to rip off. The smaller makes his way on his neck, pulling his head back to devour it more. Chanyeol almost went crazy. When Baekhyun gets tired, Chanyeol holds his face again, making him look into his eyes directly.

"Promise me you'll tell me anything that bothers you, Baek. And I'll tell you mine." Baekhyun stares at him, mouth curving, "No matter how small it is, we'll talk about it and we'll fix it." Baekhyun smiles and kisses him again, but Chanyeol moves away, looking serious as hell. "Promise me."

"Promise." Baekhyun assures him, flashing a sly smile, "If make-up sex doesn't work then we'll try other solution."

Chanyeol grins, "Filthy." he fizzles but shrugs in agreement, "though I have to say, make-up sex always works." they both chuckle.

Chanyeol pulls him again, ready to finish what they started but someone starts knocking on the door. He whispers a curse but Baekhyun is already rushing to put his shirt on, walking towards the door. Chanyeol has no choice but to watch him in defeat.

"Oh... Baekhyun, I'm so sorry..." Soeun apologizes especially when she sees his messy hair and swollen lips. Baekhyun looks at Eunhee beside her, whose eyes are bloodshot, "but she wouldn't stop crying until I send her back here..." Baekhyun smiles.

"It's okay. Thank you, Soeun." he says before carrying Eunhee back to his room. Baekhyun wanted to laugh, looking how cheerful Eunhee is again right now that she's here, as if she just acted a while ago. _This kid, seriously. _It was even funnier when he sees Chanyeol on his bed, looking extremely cockblocked.

"I colour!!!" she shouts happily, showing Baekhyun the pages she already colored. He smiles before patting her head. Eunhee slouches on his bed, beside Chanyeol to show him the pages as well. When she sees the reaction she wanted, she goes back to coloring.

Baekhyun watches her with a smile, while Chanyeol watches him. His face is serious. Baekhyun turns to him when he noticed.

"I tried appealing to the court for another trial." he says and Baekhyun listens, "But they won't allow it anymore. Eunhee's gonna be a 'Park'."

Baekhyun smiles at him, "It's okay." it really is. Whether he gets the custody or not, nothing will change. Chanyeol's excessive worrying makes him smile, "Stop worrying. I'm happy about it."

"Do you still need to go back?" Chanyeol asks, almost avoiding his gaze, "I'd understand if you need to fix something. I can even go with you―"

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun hushes him, "No."

"Baek, I just want you to know that I'm not making you choose between me and your career." he reasons out, "I can compromise for the both of us."

"And what? Leave your company here?" Baekhyun sighs, "I'm not going back, Yeol. I'll make arrangements so that I can work here. _I will _compromise. You're not making me choose. And even if I do, it's my choice, and I'm choosing you." he says and catches a glimpse of Chanyeol's curving lips.

"Really?"

He only shrugs, smiling back. "This is my home. Where else would I rather be?"

Chanyeol sits straight, making them closer again.

"Come here." he pulls Baekhyun beside him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Chanyeol, there's a child for Pete's sake." Baekhyun moves away from his taunting hands.

"So? She's 3."

"What? She's still a child!"

"She won't remember any of this." he mumbles against Baekhyun's shoulder, making the other roll his eyes with his lame reasoning, "Plus, she doesn't give a shit." he points to Eunhee who's leaning down as she colors the page thoroughly. Baekhyun smiles.

Chanyeol stares at him from his side, refusing to believe how beautiful he is especially when his eyes crinkle. He gets a grip of himself before speaking, "Since we're talking about it now, let's make the most of your compromising." he says, a ghost of smile still on his face.

Baekhyun faces him, eyes screaming confusion. Chanyeol parts his lips before closing it again, his face now serious.

"Live with me again, Baek." he requests, gaze pleading, "Move in with me. With us."

Baekhyun pauses and it makes Chanyeol nervous. But when he breaks into a smile, he sighs in relief.

"Do I need to pay for the rent?" he jokes when Chanyeol is back to kissing his ear.

"No, of course not." Chanyeol says, his deep voice sounding like a music, "You can just pay me by uhm...being the first face I see every day, morning kisses, shower buddy? Oh, delightful breakfasts as well." Baekhyun grins from ear to ear as he intentionally tickles him with his lips. He jokingly snorts.

"That sounds like a slave. You just want me to be your...slave..." he says, pausing in between because of Chanyeol's kisses tickling his neck. When Chanyeol's hands found his sides, he completely loses it, "Chanyeol!" he screams in between laughter.

"Hmm, but I'm your slave..." Chanyeol responds even if Baekhyun's already tearing up in laughter. He continues doing it until they almost lose their breath.

"Eeeeh play!!!" they stop when Eunhee groans in front of them, watching them laughing. Her brows are crossed and her lips are pouted. Baekhyun lifts her in between them and tickles her sides as well, while Chanyeol does the same. Her light and small laughter fills the room, along with theirs. When she gets tired of the tickles and starts jumping on the bed, Chanyeol takes the chance to smile at Baekhyun.

"I really love you baby..." he says, "but I'm afraid you got some tough competition now." he raises his brows before glancing at the jumping kid.

Baekhyun shakes his head, "Not complaining."


	32. Epilogue

"Quick! Oh—god!" Chanyeol bites his lip to prevent himself from laughing. Baekhyun pinches his sides when he noticed this, making the taller groan in pain. Though he continues slamming from behind with his rigorous thrusts.

"Chanyeol! What the fuck! Just get it over with already—ah fuck—please!" Baekhyun hisses in between his moans when Chanyeol slows down every now and then to prolong his climax.

"What are you so worried about? Hmm?"

"She might hear us!"

"She won't. She's in deep sleep. You can stop suppressing your moans, baby. It'll make me come sooner." he teases but Baekhyun still moans against the pillow to keep it muffled. Chanyeol is enjoying his agony.

He grips Baekhyun's waist harder as he rams in deeper. His grunts and loud breathing mix well with Baekhyun's muffled moans.

"Chanyeol!"

"DADAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Their widening eyes meet each other when someone starts banging the door from the outside. They're both panicking but not enough to stop them from reaching their peak.

Baekhyun slaps his legs behind, as if telling Chanyeol to save him from trouble because he wouldn't be able to answer his daughter.

"DAAAAADAAAAA!!!!"

Chanyeol huffs in between his thrusts, "W-What is it, Sweetheart? Dada's getting ra—ouch!" he receives a slap from Baekhyun again, "He's asleep, sweetie!"

"I've been knocking for 84 years why can't you hear me!!!" they could hear her whining from the outside, "Let me in, I'm scared Papa!!!!"

Baekhyun bites his lip so hard so he won't make a sound as Chanyeol relentlessly goes faster. His hand strokes his cock as his release comes, splatting on his hand and the sheets. Chanyeol's movements become sloppier and deeper, following his release on his thick ass and thighs to wrap it up.

"PAAAAAPAAAAA!!!"

"Yes sweetie, I'm coming out!"

He grabs his boxers and robe as he stands up. Chanyeol watches how Baekhyun falls on his back, clutching the comforter closer to him, his eyes closed. He smiles before opening the door of their room to see a tiny kid standing in front of their door, frowning.

"Oh no, Captain Eunhee is mad!"

The child's brows are crossed, Chanyeol crinkle his eyes as he scoops her up and walked back to her room.

"But Papa I wanna sleep in your room!"

"There are no monsters. I already fought them off with my charms." he winked while tucking her in her bed.

"What were you doing back there Papa?"

Chanyeol raises his brows.

"Dada and I...were playing rock paper and scissor. Yes."

Eunhee creases her brows.

"Then why was Dada screaming???"

Chanyeol loses his grin. He gulps.

"Well...he lost. So I was tickling him..as punishment." he reasons out before leaning down to his daughter's forehead.

"But why can't I sleep there?" she frowns when Chanyeol only kissed her head.

"Dada snores so loud, his snores attract the monsters so you shouldn't sleep there." he wiggles his brows before walking back to the door, "Sleep now my love. We need energy for tomorrow, ayt?" he grins when he sees her smile as he closes the door.

Chanyeol drops his robe to the floor before crawling to the bed beside his sleeping lover. He snuggles under the comforter before hugging Baekhyun's waist and nuzzles his face on his nape.

"Gosh, baby...Sooner or later, your loud mouth will get us in trouble, you know that?" he mumbles and Baekhyun only chuckles.

"I told you, not on the bed, Park."

  
  
  
The stupid smile from last night was still etched on his face 'til Saturday morning came. Chanyeol only squints his eyes when the sunlight hits his face. Nevertheless, he remains in his deep happy slumber.

"CHANYEOL!"

"Aw!" Chanyeol scrunches his face when the skin of his thigh is slapped hard enough to leave a mark. He hasn't even opened his eyes yet but he's being slapped continuously on his arms, "Ugh—what the fuck is wrong with you..."

"IDIOT! I TOLD YOU TO SET AN ALARM!" Baekhyun is already running around, his high voice echoes within the room, "I'm counting til 3 Chanyeol. I swear if you don't get up!"

"I forgot..." Chanyeol only scratches his neck, eyes still closed, "It's Saturday, for Pete's sake..."

"It's Eunhee's talent show and we're late!!!"

His eyes are opened wide in an instant. He cusses with the same panic as he gets up from the bed. Baekhyun just tied the robe and is already half running out of the room to check on Eunhee. Chanyeol follows groggily, they both see an empty bedroom so they race down to the kitchen only to see their 5-year old daughter nonchalantly eating her cereal on the kitchen counter. Both of them stop running.

_"Well good __mornin__?"_ the child cooed.

Baekhyun slaps his forehead because of their dilemma while Chanyeol is the complete opposite beside him, laughing because of his daughter's chill attitude and cool morning greeting that he taught her.

"I was thinking if I'd just drive myself to school today...that must be cool." the child remarked and puts a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.

x

"Remember what I told you." Chanyeol holds her hand as they make their way to the backstage, "Just remember the chords we studied, close your eyes to visualize them."

Eunhee only nods, her tiny ponytails sway over her shoulder.

"Don't look at the crowd too much, just imagine that it's only me and Dada watching. And grandpapa grandmama. Hmm?" he smiles down reassuringly but Eunhee is looking in front, continuously nodding. Chanyeol sighs before stopping to kneel in front of her.

"Why so quiet sweetheart?" he holds onto her hands as their eyes leveled, "Are you nervous?"

Eunhee looks at him for a moment, before nodding slowly.

"Papa...what if my hands go wrong? My talent is so much harder than them...what if I commit mistakes. I'm a lot different than the other kids." her gaze is uneasy, obviously nervous, "they will laugh...and tease me..."

"Of course not, sweetie. We practiced this, didn't we? You'll do something different, yes, and there's nothing wrong with that honey. You're unique and that's good. You'll stand out for being the best. You're so good at this, aren't you? You're papa and dada's best violinist!" Chanyeol smiles widely even if Eunhee's still blinking nervously.

"But I'm your only violinist...you don't really have a choice..." she pouts and Chanyeol can't help laughing.

"Exactly! You're the only one because no one can do it like you!" he pulls her head to place a kiss on her head, "What do I always tell you?"

"Being different is good..."

"Different in a good way, yes?" he hears her name being called as next but he continues, "If you look at the crowd and see me and Dada watching you with a smile then it means you're the bestest best best best best among the rest!"

"Papa you're cheesy..." Eunhee complains but her smile is obvious. Chanyeol kisses her once again when she got called.

"You can do it, Captain!" he smiles and lets the staff take her to the side of the stage, "Love you."

Eunhee holds the hand of the staff while the other one is holding the bridge with her tiny hand. She walks away but turns her head around to look at her Dad.

_"Love you too!"_ she mouths and flashes a squishy smile that made Chanyeol's heart melt.  
  
  
  
  


_"Ladies and gentlemen, to present a very lovely piece for us, Park _ _Eunhee_ _."_

Chanyeol is trying so hard to duck lower because of his enormous size. He spots his beau on the crowd who's gesturing him to go there faster. He sits right next to Baekhyun whose fingers are on his lips, watching little Eunhee who's standing on the stage.

"Yeol...did you scare her?"

Chanyeol chuckles. He finds his other hand to hold and have their fingers intertwined on his lap.

"She doesn't need scaring."

They can see the child's doe eyes looking around the crowd, gulping nervously before placing the violin between her chest and shoulder. Baekhyun sits uneasily, as if trying to have them seen by her so that she'll loosen up. Chanyeol holds his hand tighter.

Once the curved bench slid on the strings, it was obviously light and quite inaudible at first. The child's shoulders are heaving as she presses them harder to make a sound. Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun who's sitting upright, seriously watching. He can't help smiling.

Nothing goes wrong for him. Just having the two of them in his life is more than enough for a lifetime of happiness. He can't explain the magic of having to wake up everyday as if in heaven because they're the first people he sees. After years of finding the dream, it's here now. They're the dream he's been wishing for even years back then. Chanyeol wanted a family in the future. But he realized through all those years of pain, that if it isn't with Baekhyun, then he doesn't want it at all.

And it feels a thousand times better when he knows he feels exactly the same.

And the music everyone hears right now embodies the life and love he's having, it's perfect.

Eunhee's eyes found them on the crowd and Baekhyun's lips curve into a wide smile. Both of them gave her a bunch of exaggerated thumbs up and she responds with a cheeky smile as she continues.

Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, who still has his fresh smile on his face. With the simple sight, his heart feels like jumping off his chest. _Smitten._ And then he asks himself, will he ever get tired of looking at him in every second of his life?

"What?" Baekhyun raised his brows when he catches the taller staring at him.

Chanyeol only shakes his head, sighing heavily. Baekhyun hums in question, thinking that it's something serious, "Nothing...I think I just love you so much."

His serious face flushes in a second. And Chanyeol loves his improving effects on him. He's up to giving him all the compliments he needs until he's squirming under him. A good idea, actually. He has a lifetime to do that.

"I love you too." he hears him mumble, "But stop being spontaneous like that my attention should be on Eunhee, babe..."

They laugh and continue to watch Eunhee on stage. The moment she finishes the piece, the crowd roars in applause. Her two dads are standing up with the loudest clap and cheers. The child's timid smile changes into a joyful one everytime she looks at them.  
  
  


Baekhyun waits in the hall while Eunhee is changing backstage. Only one parent is allowed to assist their children so he had no choice but to wait. He just hopes that Chanyeol wouldn't do anything dumb there because he knows his capabilities.

"Hello!" a mother of a young boy approaches him, "Your daughter is so talented!" Baekhyun crinkles his eyes when he smiles widely and thanks her. They exchange compliments before they leave. The hall starts to be emptied.

He looks down on his watch, contemplating whether he'll check on them to make sure they're fine because he's worried.

After a while, he hears little footsteps running towards him. He turns around and sits down on his feet with his arms wide open. His big smile reflects on Eunhee's face as her head falls on his chest for a power hug. He scoops her up with his arms, planting kisses on her face.

"I'm so proud of you little munchkin!" he lets their foreheads touch, "You did great!"

Eunhee only smiles.

"Dada I love love love you."

Baekhyun creases his brows, confused with the sudden cheesiness of his supposedly cool daughter.

"Aww...I love you too baby." he says and sees how Eunhee gives a meaningful smile before lifting her hand in front of his face. He had to pull his head away to look at it directly, but his breath hitched when he sees a silver ring on her hand. Her smile looks so proud when she sees his reaction.

_"Please be with me and Papa forever?" _she says but Baekhyun's already crying against his palm. Nothing really beats Park Chanyeol for being spontaneous.

"Eunhee what did you do!" a deep voice tauntingly says, drawing near them. Baekhyun looks at him with tears in his eyes yet also laughing uncontrollably because of Chanyeol's stupid grin on his face, as if he successfully made him cry.

"I-Idiot." Baekhyun huffs in between his tears. Chanyeol places his fingers on his face to wipe them away. Their daughter looks at them with a grin.

"God, you even used the child..."

"But that's why we're partners!" he winks and had a fist bump with Eunhee. Baekhyun laughs with this. He bites his lip as he sniffs before looking at Chanyeol who's waiting for his answer with that handsome smile of his.

"So..."

"You didn't even ask me!"

Chanyeol chuckles and kneels down on one knee. Baekhyun groans and Eunhee shrieks. The reactions had him close to laughing but he maintains a straight face.

"Will you marry me baby? The love of your life. The handsomest man you've ever seen?" he says and Baekhyun is pursing his lips to prevent his tears and smile.

"W-Wow. You love me that much to marry me..." he grins but Chanyeol remained serious.

He only shrugs.

"Marrying you isn't enough if that's the basis then."

Baekhyun bites his lip as it trembles. Eunhee is looking at him in his arms, waiting for his answer.

"Idiot..."

Chanyeol smiles, "Is that a yes?"

Grinning cheekily, Baekhyun asks, "Would you take a no for an answer?"

"No!!!"

"Course not."

Baekhyun laughs when the both of them even answered in unison. He loves them so much. It's overwhelming.

"Okay then." he says and lets his daughter grab his other hand to put the ring on his finger. She's so into it that made them both smile.

"There you go!" she yells when he's already wearing it. Baekhyun gives her a quick smooch on the lips before eyeing the ring on his hand.

Chanyeol is simply smiling with the sight. And when Baekhyun turns to look at him, he leans down and kisses him while the smaller pulls his head to respond deeper.

"Ugh!!!" Eunhee slaps her palm over her eyes as she groans. Chanyeol pulls away and places a final peck on it before lifting Eunhee from Baekhyun's arms. His arms holds the child firmly while the other one finds its way to his fiancé's hand. They walk out of the hall with the same beams.

"I'm hungry." the child complains as soon as she's put down and starts walking.

"I wonder how you bribed her to do that." Baekhyun clicks his tongue. Chanyeol only smiles.

"Fortunately, she wants a nagging Dada every morning of her life too." he shrugs that made the other pout, "You can say it's a beneficial deal for the both of us." he says, squeezing their hands as Baekhyun's eyes twinkle.

Right then, it was just the start of their life.

They did the same things. Eat, sleep, laugh, make love then send Eunhee to school the next morning. The fights or quick sneaky kisses aren't forgotten of course. It is living the same life everyday. But it's never tiring.

Somehow, having each other in their lives makes everything worth looking forward to, even how repetitive it is. It's worth trying. Doing. _Living._

Life isn't that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story! Thank you so much for reaching this part. This was written a few years ago so I apologize if there were some noticeable mistakes since I haven't found the time to edit. The next story would be Wrath which will be an entirely different AU. :)
> 
> I hope you can leave comments about what you thought about it, too! If you want to ask me anything or just talk to me, we can do it on twitter! (yeolimerent) 
> 
> Love u tons. ^-^


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